Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘writing’

Wearing shoes in the house.

Yes? 

No? 

Let’s discuss.

First, taking your shoes off at the door is the norm in many cultures. I (and you) should absolutely respect the rules and customs of anyone who is gracious enough to host us. It’s not that difficult to plan ahead. If I know the homeowner allows shoes in the house, that’s fine. But if I know they don’t, or I don’t know one way or the other, I assume I’m going shoeless once I arrive and adapt my footwear/sock selection accordingly. This is why I own so many cute socks. So thank you, friends with this rule! I do love a cute sock, and this gives me an excuse to buy more of them.

This is not a rule I use in my own home, though. Please feel free to keep your shoes on.

I know. I get it. I understand that shoes are gross and thus track their grossness inside as I am tromping through the house. But also…so do…

  • My clothes
  • My hair
  • My skin
  • My bag(s)

Multiply these elements times how many people live in or visit your home on a regular basis.

Include pets in this count, especially the ones that occasionally go outside (although inside-only animals can do their fair share of spreading some dirt and other particles). This doesn’t necessarily apply to me, as I don’t currently have a pet. And I love my friends’ pets, but they do track in a fair amount of detritus. I used to think I was allergic to dogs, but my reactions change depending on the seasons. So I suspect my sensitivities are more about all the irritants that are hitching a ride on the dogs’ fur after their walk rather than the animals themselves, which is a relief but also solidifies my decision not to adopt an indoor/outdoor pet.

[Aside – No, I do not want an animal in my home. Do not send me pictures of cute, sad animals that need homes. I mean, send me all the animal pictures all the time. I love them. Just do not expect me to adopt them. Your Sarah McLachlan tactics will not work on me. You will be disappointed, and your disappointment will be 100% your own doing.]

Basically, anyone or anything that goes from outside to inside has the outside all over it and thus gets the outside on anything it touches once it comes inside. Therefore, I feel like simply removing my shoes at the door of my home would only address a small fraction of the outdoor-to-indoor filth pipeline.

The main thing from outside that bothers me is pollen. And it’s on everything. During the first few weeks of spring, I absolutely strip down and immediately shower when I get home to reduce how much of the stuff lingers in the air of my apartment. I do enjoy breathing, after all. But this is only a seasonal habit. I only do it when it is absolutely necessary.

I could be a person who does this all the time – a person who deposits outside clothes directly into the washer/hamper, lovingly empties and cleans my purse each night, and not only removes my shoes at the door but wipes them down, removing all the funk they have accumulated in my travels that day. I could, but I’m not gonna. While the idea of consistently having separate outdoor and indoor clothing is appealing to me, it’s not a habit to which I actually aspire at this point in my life. In fact, I think I said, “That’s exhausting. I’m exhausted just reading it,” out loud and then had to stare blankly at the wall for a minute when I came to that chapter in Marie Kondo’s book (which I absolutely loved otherwise – highly recommend).

Also, even if it was just my shoes, what is the process? Logistically speaking, what do I do with the shoes when I take them off at the door? Do I remove them and then pick the filthy things up with my bare hands and take them to the closet? Do I figure out some way to move my whole gigantic shoe storage to my tiny entryway so I can put them where they belong right away? Do I just leave them by the door (real talk – the most likely scenario), thus resulting in the inevitable and constant pile of shoes at the door? None of these things seems like a practical solution that I would want or actually implement, and regarding my primary goal of reducing clutter, they are all inferior to my current process, which is to wait to remove my shoes until I’m in the closet where they belong.

So, for now, in my house…I don’t care, generally speaking. I’m going to keep my shoes on at least as long as it takes for me to walk from the door to where my slippers are, and you should feel free to keep your shoes in my home, too. 

I mean, if your shoes are extra dirty/muddy, take them off or ask for something to wipe them down at the door. Don’t track visible muck through my home. Don’t be that person. 

But overall, I want you, my guest, to feel welcome and accepted just as you are, so you do what makes you most comfortable (re: shoes or no shoes and attire in general, that is – this is not a free-for-all behavioral statement.). Additionally, I believe the way people attire themselves is an art form and expression/extension of their personality, and while it may seem like a small thing, taking off one’s shoes can mess up the whole ensemble. Embracing these principles is part of the hospitality from my southern upbringing (i.e., one element of my culture that I actually like and try to embody) that I want to extend to my guests.

I’m also curious about other people’s take on the subject. Would removing my shoes at the door of my own home really make that big of a difference in how clean it is overall? If flooring is a factor, I have all hard floors, not carpet. So my floors are both easy to clean and are cleaned frequently(ish). 

Feel free to drop your opinion and links to credible research in the comments. 

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days. Click here to see the topic list!

Read Full Post »

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. It’s been the mantra of those who care for the planet and want to minimize the waste they produce for decades. It’s also three helpful hints for keeping house. Nothing gets stuff organized (or gone completely) faster than one of these actions.

Reuse is my favorite of the three. While my main goal for extraneous stuff is to get rid of it, of course, I also really despise having to buy something again to replace that thing I JUST threw away. I am the poster child for “But I might need it someday.” I really do often find uses for the random things I keep. So before getting rid of it, I look for ways to reuse it (stay tuned for Friday for some of my favorite things to repurpose).  

Reduce is my second choice, even though I think it is the best of the three. I wish it were my favorite. After all, the most efficient way not to waste the things that come into your home is to not bring extraneous nonsense into it in the first place. 

I’m just not very good at it. I mean, I have no problem with the things I’m super picky about. For example, I’m not going to impulse buy hand soap. I have the two kinds I like (one for my bathroom, one for the guest bathroom), and while I may stock an extra of each, that’s about it. Yarn, on the other hand…I may have an issue there. 

Reduction also looks different for different households. Take food prep, for instance. Ideally, all my vegetables would be fresh from the farmer’s market where the only packaging I use is the cloth bag I bring from home, and I would prep them for use the minute I brought them inside. But I got exhausted just writing those sentences. If that was the standard I tried to hold myself to, I would be constantly overwhelmed and end up in the drive-through more often than not, which creates the most waste with the single-use cups and utensils and wrappers (oh my). Getting most of my vegetables frozen is a compromise, but it’s better than the next likely alternative.

Recycling is the bane of my existence. I am committed to doing it. I know individuals can’t solve the major environmental crises caused by corporate greed and its inevitable consequences of environmental waste and bad practices and shortcuts (although we can vote with our dollar by not shopping with them whenever possible). And I know that a lot of what goes in the recycling bins (particularly the catch-all ones) ends up as trash anyway. But I adhere to the principle that if everyone did their part by throwing fewer things away, we could maybe at least keep the landfills under better control. I know we definitely can’t keep them under control if we don’t even try. So I’m going to continue doing my part, small as it may be, even though it’s among my least favorite chores. 

[Public service announcement – There are many things that need to be recycled or disposed of responsibly (i.e., not in the dumpster/trash bin), even if doing so is a pain, so please make sure you know the right place to take these items where you live.]

My beef with recycling most things is that it can’t just be done in-house. It involves a task and then also an errand. I hate errands so much. If I ever become inexplicably wealthy, errands are the first thing I’m going to outsource. I would actually hire a person full-time to run my errands for me if I could afford to do so.

If you live in a place where people will come and pick up your donations at your house for you? That’s nice. You should take full advantage of that. If I could just leave a box on the porch and have it magically disappear to a place I trust to use the items responsibly, recycling might become my favorite chore. So step one of recycling is to research the places near you that will do this for you. You may be surprised at how easy they make it.

But most of the local places near me that recycle used items don’t pick up from apartments. Alas. So I gather. And gather. And accumulate. And then…eventually…sometimes with weeping and gnashing of teeth…deliver to the appropriate location.

Maybe if I think of recycling as a quest it will be easier to keep up with. *ponders and plots*

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days. Click here to see the topic list!

Read Full Post »

Alright. It’s time for fall. I’m tired of waiting. And by that, I do mean that I am wearing my boots and making soup and sipping hot apple juice (specifcally, Simply Apple or Sprouts brand) out of a tea mug in the evenings (my childhood’s answer to the predicament that we don’t have real cider here) and not waiting for it at all. Once again, I am bringing in autumn by sheer force of will. You’re welcome.

I have a fun (I hope) series coming up in October about keeping house. I hope that you will enjoy reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it. I may not have enough content to last the whole month, but a daily post throughout October is currently the goal. 

I’ve also started my final curriculum for the year. I am ready to recognize that planning four curricula in one year was a bit unhinged. “Cozy” has been good. “Write a song and upload something to Bandcamp” was good (and a portion of it took a delightful turn that I didn’t predict, i.e., the upload being a wonderful group project). “Learn to play organ” was…ambitious and not at all feasible in the short timeline I gave it (what do you mean, my piano skills don’t completely translate?! Rude but ok). I’m still working on it, but I am appropriately humbled. 

As productive as these curricula have helped me to be, though…I’m so tired. I feel like each project is its own part-time job. And they’ve overlapped a lot, which makes it feel like even more work. So I’m trying to be more reasonable (which I despise) and gentler with myself (which I begrudgingly admit would be a good thing that makes being reasonable acceptable). 

Anyway…the fourth curriculum started later than planned and is going to extend into next year. My basic objective is to get my writing life back on track. I want to finish two projects – the aforementioned blog series in October and a second draft of my Fishbowl manuscript. But I also want to have a writing life that feels good and productive and creative and nourishing to me. One that is actually reasonable (ugh) for my current life and not just my imaginary life where I have no other responsibilities…like a job.

[Frankly, any one of the four curricula would have been more than enough progression for one year. But I’m already excited about the writing curriculum, and I’m not giving up on the organ (just relaxing about it), so we press on, and they will both just take as long as they take, and I’m also going to work on being okay with that.]

So that’s how life has been going. 

Here are some good reads from the last couple of weeks:

  • I enjoyed this reminder. “Seasonal living, to me, is about getting curious about those cues again and finding out what might happen when we let our food, light exposure, daily rhythms, and even our approach to rest change a little with the world around us.” Reading this sentence (and the whole piece) was like taking a long, deep breath.
  • I love Andi’s piece about learning to take up the space and time she needs, even outside the margins of her writing life. Great advice for all of us, especially those whose brains work differently than this world expects them to.
  • I adore Kate Bowler so much. I need this shirt.
  • I agree – The quiet life is the most underrated path to success! 
  • You are officially on notice – This is not only a Mamdani fan account but also an Abdul El-Sayed fan account. I just really appreciate people who listen and get shit done, and I would love to see what El-Sayed could do for our country.

I hope you have a great weekend, friends!

Read Full Post »

This week was meh. I did a lot, but I also had a lot on my to-do list, so it doesn’t feel like I did a lot because there are things that are still not crossed off. It’s possible my to-do list was unreasonable, but my feelings don’t seem to see it that way. Something to work on (making both to-do lists and mental expectations reasonable).

Here are some things that stood out to me on the internet this week.

  • This is the energy I want to see from lawmakers. No grandstanding, no fanfare. Just recognizing conversion therapy for what it is – medical malpractice – and allowing the appropriate consequences. Excellent work, Colorado!
  • In other words, NOT this nonsense. What exactly is the legal basis of a suit against a city that 1) informed the groups leading an event about the changes to their marketing and plan that this dumbass law requires, and 2) received immediate compliance from said groups? I know a lot of our Texas government folk get some well-deserved side eye, but Paxton acts like he’s trying to win the prize for most hateful and wasteful (of time, money, etc.). An embarrassment, indeed.
  • Deeply saddened by the death of Marjan Satrapi. Persepolis was the first graphic novel I really loved. Also RIP to Anthony Head, who will always be Giles to me.
  • Many of the authors I love own bookstores. Visiting them is definitely on my bucket list. Happy to see Nowhere got a shout-out in the comments.
  • We are doing art/crafts at church on the first and third Wednesday nights of June and July (and maybe August, if people want them). People are welcome to bring their own things to work on while they hang out, but we will also have a small project just in case they want to try something new. This week, it was pom poms. The next one is blackout poetry. I’m excited to see what people create. We all need a little whimsy and revolution in our lives.

I hope you get to experience some wonder this weekend!

Read Full Post »

Happy Friday, friends. We did it. Despite being absolutely covered in pollen every time I step outside, I have made it through the week. Claritin is my friend.

I’m a big fan of these five things this week:

  • This is the deep dive into bar soap that I didn’t know I needed, and I am here for it. Bar soap for life. I mean, not Irish Spring, as I’m allergic. But you can pry my locally crafted soaps and my Dr. Bronner’s peppermint away from my cold, dead hands.
  • Jane Fonda is going to play one of my favorite book characters from the books I read last year. I’m so excited!
  • HARRY STYLES TALKING TO HARUKI MURAKAMI ABOUT RUNNING! “One of the most important things for a human being is to embrace the contradiction.” I feel better about life in general just having read Murakami saying, “What is this chaos in me?” Same, Murakami. 
  • Today, we are celebrating International Waffle Day (Observed) in the office because we had another lunch to attend on Wednesday, when it was actually International Waffle Day. Of course, I brought my waffle iron to work. While Mark Bittman’s quick and easy waffles are my favorite go-tos, I make a mess when I mix them up. I needed something more portable, so I adjusted to a mix I could just shake and pour. I tested it last night, and it was fine. Meh. It was waffles from a mix. It will work. I have cranberries and thyme to add to it, so that will spruce it up a bit. At any rate, yay waffles for lunch!
  • I’m going to make this dish this weekend. Baharan brought it to cookbook club, and I can’t stop thinking about it. So simple. So delicious. So easy to make, even on busy days.

I hope you have a good weekend!

Read Full Post »

My first full week in office in my advisor position! The first week had Monday as a holiday, and the second week was mostly working from home due to the winter storm that swept through this area. It’s been a long week, but it’s been good. I haven’t quite outfitted my office yet, so I’m going to do some more decorating next week.

I’m looking forward to going out with some friends tonight and I have a few events this weekend. Hopefully, I’ll also have some time to read, clean, and generally decompress as well.

Some links for the week:

  • This opinion from US District Judge Fred Biery on the release of Liam Arias and his father Adrian is a good read. “‘We the People’ are hearing echoes of that history,” is the type of statement that once inspired me to consider the law and eventually judgeship as a career path. As much as I would probably loathe being a judge most of the time, I would enjoy writing things like this.
  • Charcuterie. Pretzels. Y’all, this is adorable.
  • How to make soup and also write a novel. I’m going to add this wisdom to my Fall Curriculum (spoiler – my goal will be to revamp my writing practice and finish a manuscript).
  • I love her joy and her new ‘do!
  • Troubles in Minneapolis persist, and friends of a friend have a good resource on the ground if you are looking for a place to donate. The Helping Hand Fund through Our Savior’s Lutheran Church supports their neighbors in need, and you can donate generally or designate your donation as “immigrant support” if you want to specify where you’d like it to go.

I hope you get time and space to decompress this weekend!

Read Full Post »

The coziest (and the best) way to ring in the new year? Snacks, wine, comfort of my own home.

I love the Montana Happy newsletter. It’s always full of cozy crafts, recipes, and tips. It’s a much-needed shelter in the storm of the world. In exploring cozy as a theme this year, I am working my way through this list of prompts.

  • Hygge prompt #1 – What advice would you give your younger self with your current knowledge if given a time machine? What changes would you make?

Not that my younger self would have listened…but here goes.

That interdisciplinary major you’re considering during grad school (the one that would give you a foot in the door to library science)? DO IT. You can still teach public speaking and work night desk and be an assignment coordinator. These will be the jobs that give you the best stories and where you will meet some of your favorite people. But it would also be nice to have some sweet librarian training in your back pocket when you’re ready to branch out.

Don’t stop dancing and running. It’s hard to get that momentum back after you lose it, and you will miss it when it’s gone.

Ditto re: playing piano and French horn. 

Don’t sell your French horn. Maybe stick with a digital piano/full-sized keyboard instead of the upright grand, though. That was…a lot.

The pavement on Fry Street is dangerously uneven. Tread cautiously. Your left knee, in particular, will thank you. Also, maybe don’t drink the WHOLE beer tower. Just a thought.

In fact, go ahead and slow down on the drinking in general. One or two glasses of wine at a time is fine, and it is definitely less expensive. If you need to be buzzed to feel comfortable at a place, just leave the place. You could be home and reading. 

We still love home and reading.

You don’t want to live in the downstairs apartment. Having upstairs neighbors is THE WORST.

Look closely for bug problems before you move in. No apartment is cute enough to be worth the hassle of getting rid of an infestation.

Those things that you keep seeing ads for that you think you’d really enjoy having? You won’t. Just keep scrolling. I guarantee there’s a cute cat video coming up, and it’s free.

The cancer diagnosis isn’t the end of the world. You survive, and your friends really come through for you. Go ahead and push for the reconstructive surgery while they have you on the table, though.

When the church you love dissolves, don’t rush into replacing it. Save yourself some religious trauma and take a real break. But keep that weird little liturgical one you visited in the back of your mind. You’re going to love them someday.

I know loneliness sucks. And it will suck for a long time, especially when it seems like everyone around you is pairing off, so buckle up. But don’t waste so much time wanting a partner. Your life is already rich with love, and you will absolutely adore living alone. Once you get there, you will realize that it would take a truly exceptional connection to merit giving that up. Hold out for it.

When you feel like you have to choose between loving others well and wanting to hold them to your own moral code (which, despite everything you’ve been taught, they are not – in any way – obligated to adhere to), choose love. Every time. Your moral code will change as you learn and grow, and you will regret the harm that you did before you knew better. But you will never regret loving extravagantly. 

Love extravagantly.

Love yourself. To quote Tova Goodman’s six-word memoir, “Little me would’ve liked big me.”

Read Full Post »

I usually post resolutions on New Years Day, but I decided not to rush it. Yesterday was nice. I got to hang out with Sarah and friends, eat some delicious food, and read a little bit. It’s hard to believe that I go back to work in less than 48 hours. Before I do, though, you know I want to share my resolutions for the year with you.

Technically I have seven (large) goals, but all of them are divided into many small steps that help me get there. 

Start Checking Off That 10-Year Bucket List

The bucket list I put together in 2025 ended up with way more than 50 things on it, and some of them are bigger goals that are going to take the whole 10 years to accomplish. Additionally, if I know me (and I do), I won’t stop dreaming up things I want to do, so the list is likely to grow over the next decade. Clearly there are more than five things I’m going to cross off that list this year. 

I’m already going to address some of them in pursuit of my financial and cozy goals (see below), but I’ve identified 11 things off the list that I want to do this year. As I’m currently looking for a new job and/or an additional income stream, the order in which they happen will depend on how fast that comes to pass, as a new job would likely have a different busy season to work around, and some of them cost a little money. But right now, this is roughly the order I’m thinking of starting them:

  • Learn to play the organ
  • Learn to play mahjong
  • Establish a consistent exercise practice
  • Join an online book club (likely MMD)
  • Join the Plot Twist Book Bar dark academia book club
  • Enjoy a personal reading retreat in a hotel with room service
  • Renew my passport
  • Write a score or a song
  • Upload an original recording to Bandcamp
  • Finish a fiction manuscript
  • Take a small town road trip

Read 200 Books

This is…lofty. But I think it’s possible. What I like about this goal is that having it in mind will remind me to give myself regular downtime, which I have a hard time remembering (shocking, I know). I am also attempting quite a few reading challenges throughout the year, and gamifying anything almost always makes it more fun for me.

Establish a Regular Journaling Practice

One thing that keeps me grounded the best is journaling. It not only helps me decompress and slow down my brain before sleep but also improves my awareness of how well I’m taking care of myself in general. 

One thing that I often put off and forget to do is journaling. I am hoping to establish a regular practice. 

Daily is ideal, but any regularity is an improvement that I will consider a success. I’m using the guided journal that accompanies Shonda Rhimes’s Year of Yes. I may decide later in the year I don’t need the prompts but for now the questions provide a good framework.

Have 100 Cozy Moments

I couldn’t figure out how to phrase this one, because it could encompass a lot of things. “Cozy moments” sounds a little woo for me, but it will have to do. 

Basically, I want to be intentional about pursuing my theme for the year. 

This may look like actually noting when moments are cozy or actively seeking them out. It may look like rearranging spaces at home, work, or elsewhere to be more welcoming. It may look like clearing out some clutter to give my brain a rest. There are many different ways this could play out, and I bet I can catalogue at least 100 of them!

Set and meet 100 small financial goals

This sounds like a lot, but it’s fewer than I met last year, so it’s doable. My focus this year (other than increasing income) is on three main things:

  • Mapping out a solid plan for retirement
  • Having a solid purpose for each savings bucket
  • Building a solid knowledge base

The keyword is solid. That’s how I want to feel about my finances at the end of the year (and have the evidence to back the feeling up).

Write 50,000 Words

For real, this time. Something tells me that finishing a fiction manuscript would be an excellent way to make this happen. 

Go on 25 Microadventures

A lot of the items on my 10-year bucket list surprised me. Apparently, I want to go places. Did not know that about myself. I’m not sure if I actually want to go places, or if I think I should want to go places.

Welp, we’re going to test it out this year with 25 small microadventures. I’m defining a microadventure as any outing that takes from an hour up to a day. It can be almost anything. It just has to include a place I’ve never been or something I’ve never done. Bonus points if it’s free. 

I may ask for suggestions later, but I have a pretty good list going already. It might be telling that this is the resolution I’m least excited about, but maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. It doesn’t hurt to try (I hope).

And there you have it. Those are the plans. It looks like a lot, but it’s mostly a continuation of things I’m already working on. It just gives them a little structure.

Read Full Post »

From Wednesday, Season 2: “I don’t evolve; I cocoon.” 

I feel this.

Cozy seems like a fluffy word to have as a theme for the year. But it’s essential for me, and that’s becoming more apparent the older I get. 

People say you have to get out of your comfort zone to learn. And I see the merit in this reasoning.

One question, though – what’s a comfort zone? That sounds nice. Mythical. Soothing. I bet it’s just delightful.

Do neurotypical people have places and situations in which they actually feel at ease? What’s that like?!

When I think back to the last place I felt truly comfortable – no social anxiety, no worry, no counting down all the things in my head that I had to do before it was over or I could leave – I landed on the trip I took to Cape Cod with Hope and her friend Alison. 

Easy mornings where I would drink coffee and write, read, or journal. Then we’d have brunch together and do something fun for the afternoon. Then we’d all meet up again for a long, decadent dinner – sometimes just us, sometimes with guests. 

It’s the coziest week I’ve ever spent away from my own home. It left space for spontaneity in ways that I rarely experience. And it was absolute magic for my creative process.

I don’t form habits; I have rituals, and even for my favorite ones, I sometimes need some kind of reminder. For example, on Sunday, I woke up, got a few things accomplished, and then got ready for church. On the drive there, I noticed I was feeling super scattered and grumpy. And then it hit me – I had forgotten to have coffee. Yes, you read that right. Not a typo. I – the coffee snob/addict – simply did not remember to brew a cup. I knew my executive function was wonky lately but jeez. This is why I keep a to-do list posted of how to get ready in the morning. Because on days like that, when I am extra steeped in discomfort, I don’t always remember all the steps. 

[Shout-out to coworkers who always remind me to take a break and go upstairs to get coffee at work. Y’all are the best.]

I don’t necessarily even follow ambitions, although I do have a lot of them. My most lasting successes all started in a space I felt free to think and experiment – where I felt relaxed enough to be my full creative self.

I say all of this to demonstrate that learning should follow the spirit of the “out of your comfort zone” rule rather than the literal directive. Essentially, learning requires doing something different. Neurotypical people live in a world that tends to work the way their brains do and in ways they are comfortable operating. In order for their brains to form new pathways (i.e., learn), they have to jolt themselves out of that (i.e., stepping out of that comfort). For many neurodivergent people, it’s the opposite. The world does not work the way our brains do. We are already – perpetually – out of our comfort zone. Pushing ourselves further out of it is more likely to result in burnout and shutdown rather than discovery. My learning process (and I suspect this is more often true than not for most ND folk) needs a soft space to land where my overactive brain can rest well enough to focus on the new thing I’m trying to do.

I need cozy.

And it starts at home.

Making my home cozy for myself inevitably means dampening the assault on my senses. My home right now? Chaos, which reflects my state of mind in this, the yearly Wild West Week that straddles the transition between the old and new year. The chaos in my home not only reflects but also contributes to my mental chaos, though, and I’d like to work on that this year. I can’t control most of what happens outside my home, and there are many elements of rental living that are likewise beyond my grasp. I can, however:

  • Declutter and adjust lighting and decor to make my space more visibly soothing
  • Cook amazing food and clean with non-smelly products so that my first reaction to walking in isn’t a shaking of the head and an exclaimed, “Oh! What is that smell!”
  • Marie-Kondo the textures of items in my home. Even if something is useful, if my first reaction to touching it is, “Nooooo, thank you,” I will not use (or wear) it very often, which means it’s not actually helpful to me.
  • Make playlists to mask/offset the 14,351 buzzing sounds and background noises that routinely plague apartment living. Green noise is my go-to for this purpose, but I’d like to mix it up a little this year. Maybe even compose something myself.

One thing I really like about cozy as a theme is that it has an element of preparedness to it. Yes, it’s nice to make physical and psychological spaces warm and comfortable for myself and others. That alone is valuable. But the practice of doing so also prepares the space for stressful situations. For example, making my home a cozy place was useful for times when I had to stay there longer than planned (ahem, pandemic and cancer diagnosis). Paying attention to and taking care of my body not only helps me feel more at home in it but also strengthens it for dealing with health issues and other physical challenges that arise. Working so hard on my financial stability this year really came in handy when it was suddenly time to qualify for a car loan in September. Effective therapy doesn’t just help me feel better; it helps me be better.

So this year, I am cultivating coziness in my life. And I am going to cozy up to the things that matter to me. 

Cocoons may seem unimportant on the outside (and may just seem like a big blob of mindless goo on the inside). But these cozy little spaces are what help their inhabitants turn into exactly who they need to be to fly.

Read Full Post »

2025. The year I finished up cancer treatments (hopefully) for good. The year my dad had a stroke. The year my Aunt Gale died. The year my friend Des died. The year I bought my first new (not used, not traded with Dad to finish out his payments on the newer model in the family – actually new with 0 miles on the odometer when I took it for a test drive) car.

The year I turned 50. 

The year I celebrated turning 50 with an excessive list of resolutions to accomplish 50 things in several categories:

  • 50 home-cooked meals
  • 50 books bought from indie bookshops
  • 50 small financial goals set and met
  • 50 thousand words written (not counting blogs or any writing I did for my day job – hey, perhaps I should have counted blogs and UNT trainings/memos/manuals!)
  • 50 bucket list items to cross off by the time I’m 60

I enjoyed working toward everything on this list, but I think my favorite part was creating the bucket list. It ranges from small errands like “renew my passport” to big-deal rites of passage like “retire from UNT.” It contains goals about my career, music, writing, finances, and health. It reveals things I want to change about my home and so many things I want to learn. It includes a surprising amount of travel. I had no idea I wanted to go so many places, but looking at the list, I can’t think of anything I’d want to remove. Although admittedly, unless I win the lottery or become otherwise inexplicably wealthy, I probably won’t be able to take all the bigger trips in just 10 years’ time. I guess that leaves me something to look forward to in my 60s!

You’ll see some of these things when I post my 2026 resolutions in a couple of days. As with a couple of the other goals, I ended up with way more than 50 things for the next decade’s to-do list, and I’m hoping to knock out a lot of the small things next year so I can start taking steps to make the longer-term goals happen. At any rate, it gives me a solid picture of how much life I still have to look forward to.

I’m excited to get started!

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »