Whew, this week.
Today, I’m anxious because I feel like I’m behind on posting on my Keeping House series. But I may just be operating from an old set of rules.
When I first started posting 31 Days series in October years ago, things were different:
- There was an official 31 Days community that sent out prompts and encouragement. I attended local writing group meetups where we helped each other brainstorm and come up with post ideas (also there were snacks, which may seem irrelevant to the writing process but I assure you they were absolutely essential).
- I had a job as a night desk clerk, where I was encouraged to engage in hobbies or studies (really, they were happy with me doing anything that would keep me awake at 4:00 a.m. when the students finally went to bed) any time there was downtime. There was a lot of downtime, and I had finished my degrees by the time I took the job, so hobbies, such as blogging, were the choice.
- I only had one book club.
Now, I am pretty much doing 31 Days on my own, which is how most writing projects go for most writers. It’s not a bad thing; it just doesn’t have the built-in drive that community work does. I also do not have much downtime at my job now, and when I do, I use it to prepare for upcoming appointments so that students can use their time to ask questions and not feel like they’re interrupting me as I type up the notes I could have prepared beforehand.
And now, I have six book clubs.
So it makes sense that I struggle to write every single day of the month. Maybe that is a hint (and by hint, I do mean clear indication) that my expectations for my series should change.
Content-wise, I’m very happy with the series so far. I am still going to have plenty of time to say everything I want to say about keeping house. I have some rough drafts about a few more topics, and I’m excited to share them in the upcoming week.
Today, I am celebrating the ability to be flexible. To pivot when I need to. To honor my time and energy and not let former expectations that no longer make sense or serve my purpose sully my perspective on what I’ve accomplished. Flexibility is important for writing; it’s also important for keeping house.
Five things I’ve learned about keeping house as I’ve gotten older (and, ideally, wiser):
- No one judges my home more than I do. When I have people over, they are just happy to see me. They like what I feed them, and they delight in my company. I don’t have to earn their approval; I already have it.
- Having said that, it doesn’t matter if other people think my home is too messy. It does, however, matter what I think. My opinion of my home matters the very most. I am the person it most affects, and keeping house is first and foremost a kindness to myself.
- A brush with mortality when I had cancer opened my eyes to how much stuff I accumulate but don’t really want or need. And if I don’t even want it, it’s likely that whoever is tasked with dealing with it when I’m gone won’t want it either. It’s never too early to start death cleaning.
- My stimulus response is my guiding star. My ideal home is one that is stimulating enough to be interesting and cozy but neat enough that my brain isn’t constantly overwhelmed. In related news, my office is my next major project. It’s technically functional, but there are so many distractions. I think I’ll be calmer and better at my job when it is more organized.
- I really am happiest when I’m surrounded by books, even if their arrangement is a bit chaotic.
I hope that you remember to be flexible and gracious with yourself this weekend (and always, really). You deserve your highest consideration.
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