Happy Friday, friends! I took Monday off as a continuation of my birthday commitment to do absolutely nothing but what I want for a few days, and it was nice. I made a pasta salad, which I’ve eaten all week for lunch (and sometimes also dinner – it makes so much), and binge-watched Veronica Mars most of the day. It was great.
Having a four-day week this week was also nice. We should do this always. Well, always until I retire. Then it’s “I do what I want” all day, every day.
Here are some things I’ve run across this week. Enjoy!
This list of tips on how to read more was written in more pandemic-y, home-alone times, but they’re still applicable. My favorites are the ones that lean toward “read what you like and ignore the haters” and “schedule reading time like an appointment/job.” I also find that connecting with other people over books makes me want to read more and also introduces me to fascinating new things I wouldn’t have read otherwise. Also writing reviews/reflections helps. You know what? All of these tips are solid. Take the ones that sound like they’d be useful to you if reading more is on your vision board.
I love everything about this column, included in Roxane Gay’s Audacious Roundup (which you should also follow). I especially like the shout-out to Marcella Hazan and the story about Nonna eating peppers out of the jar. I’m excited to see future updates.
In working through my Audible library, I ran across something I picked up a couple of years ago – Courting the Wild Twin by Martin Shaw. It reminded me of some of the discussions we had in performance classes in grad school, with lovely moments such as “Myths are a secret weapon. A radical agency for beauty in the age of amnesia – an agency far beyond concept and polemic.” I enjoyed the nostalgia. Lots of connected-but-still-badly-in-need-of-more-editing tangents, so maybe the print copy would have been an easier read than the audio.
We had our annual Equity and Diversity Conference here yesterday, and it was probably the best one I’ve attended. Hina Wong-Kalu was my favorite speaker.
And finally…they had me at “Stanley Tucci.” A peek inside his pantry was just what my week needed. Also, I’m 100% in favor of pasta for breakfast.
I hope you’ve had a great week and have an even better weekend!
This challenge is slowing down a bit due to its structure, as many of the books I read don’t fit into the spots that are still left. So it may not be long before I have to become a little more intentional about which of the many items on my TBR list and collection I read – particularly concerning the latter half of the alphabet, apparently – so that I end up finishing it.
I’ve had quite a few days off (good for tucking up under a blanket with a good book) and long drives (great for audiobooks) this month, though, so we’re ready for a new update!
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley
C
The Castlemaine Murders by Kerry Greenwood
The Postmistress of Paris by Meg Waite Clayton
D
Dear Bob and Sue by Matt and Karen Smith
E
Excuse Me While I Disappear by Laurie Notaro
F
Florence Adler Swims Forever by Rachel Beanland – I liked this book overall, but it took me forever to get through it. There wasn’t a lot of plot – just a whole lot of waiting around for something to happen. Which is what the characters were actually going through, so in that way I suppose it made it easy to empathize with them. I fell asleep reading it a lot, and I had decided last night that if I couldn’t manage to finish it before bedtime I would give up on doing so altogether, but I managed to push through.
G
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
H
How To Be Perfect by Michael Schur
The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris – I liked this one, but not as much as I expected to. The premise is intriguing and something I don’t think those in outgroups (i.e., me) understand a lot about, so I was excited to read it. I think most of my disappointment was just editing preferences. I would have preferred either a fuller prologue that handled all the past scenes or a more regular chapter-by-chapter exchange where the past relationships were flushed out a little more. Also…it feels like two different genres. The first two-thirds of the book is strict realism, but then something is revealed that I would have liked to see incorporated earlier in the story.
I
The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne
J
Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry
The Friend Zone and The Happy Ever After Playlist by Abby Jimenez – I used to say without qualifier that I am a sucker for a sappy romance with a happy ending (hence my membership in Nowhere’s Happy Endings book club). But this series has driven home for me that in order for them to be more than meh for me, I need certain things from my rom-coms. Especially with books like these where all the main characters – and even most of the secondary ones – are stereotypically attractive. I mean, come on. The main guys in the first book? Ex-Marine firefighters. And the first scene with the main guy (Hot Rock StarTM) in the second book opens with the two thirsty ladies seated next to him on a plane ogling (perhaps even fondling? Ahem. MA’AM.) his biceps. Now I enjoy ex-Marine firefighters/hot rock stars as much as the next person (and maybe a little more than the next person re: the rock star or just musicians in general), but I prefer meet-cute stories featuring those who…well…aren’t. Acknowledge that good things can happen for people who don’t always get second glances with positive appraisals before they even open their mouths to speak, and the story is automatically more interesting for me.
I also need to see them struggle. That sounds rude, but hear me out. Life is hard in some way for most people, and it’s difficult for me to connect to characters who have nothing more than small hiccups along their way to alleged forever bliss. Physical or mental health issues, career overhaul or loss, major identity crisis, grief, systemic oppression, etc. Show me the big bad they’re up against and how they’re dealing with it (even – or sometimes especially – if they’re not dealing well), or I just don’t care.
All this is to say that, as Jimenez definitely leans ALL the way into the typical “oh god she’s so gorgeous and fit and he’s so chiseled and my, what a big penis he has” trope, I was pleasantly surprised that I really enjoyed these books. And it’s mostly because the author is excellent at showing her characters’ humanity. I don’t have a lot in common with any of them, but I felt like I understood where they were coming from, and thus I wanted them to be well and secure and loved and just have it all.
I liked The Happy Ever After Playlist more due mostly to personal preferences overall and also because some of the things that the female lead in the first one found hot about the main dude bordered on problematic for me. Also I hate the concept of the friend zone and all its implications, which is the reason it took me so long to pick the book up in the first place, but I begrudgingly admit that the title is a decent fit for the story. I’m looking forward to listening to the third one, Life’s Too Short, later this month.
K
Writers & Lovers by Lily King
L
Lucky Turtle by Bill Roorbach
M
Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire
N
O
The Opposite of You by Rachel Higginson
The Book of Form and Emptiness by Ruth Ozeki
P
Q
Queen of the Flowers by Kerry Greenwood – If you haven’t read or watched Phryne Fisher, you’re missing out (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries is a gorgeous portrayal of Greenwood’s series). They’re quick reads, and if you like unlikely detectives or historical mystery fiction, you might get a kick out of them. This one was not one of my favorites of the series, but it was still enjoyable.
R
A Rhythm of Prayer, edited by Sarah Bessey – I listened to these prayers on my way to and from work for about a week and a half, and it was so good. I love Sarah Bessey, and it’s no surprise that she was able to put together such a rich liturgy collection. I’m glad I have it on audio, but I think I’m also going to have to buy a print copy for use at home.
S
A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle
T
U
V
W
A World of Curiosities by Louise Penny
X
Y
Z
Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul by Najwa Zebian
The bats continue their festive seasonal costume choices at the office.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! AKA, the eve of my birthday. I’m off work today to rest up for the festivities tomorrow and I’m looking forward to my video chat with Maggie and Michelle tonight. But I wanted to drop in and give you some of the goodies that I’ve enjoyed in the last couple of weeks.
I love the St. Marin’s series by ACF Bookens, and Hardcover Homicide is the first one I listened to on audio. I think I would have enjoyed that version better if I had listened to the series from the beginning. It’s hard to start audio versions on the 9th book – I already have voices in my head for the characters at that point – but it was a good reading. Anyway, the whole series is great fun, and I love how these characters have developed throughout it. Also, be prepared to add to your TBR list with every book. It will make you long to hang out in your favorite local bookstore or library even more than you already do. I look forward to reading the next one, but maybe I’ll order it in print this time.
Speaking of things to add to the TBR, the 2023 longlist for the Women’s Prize for Fiction has been announced.
Big Swiss by Jen Beagin – Oh, the wit! I really enjoyed this book. The characters are off their rockers and do some things that are ill-advised and sometimes downright startling. But there are also some really sweet moments and, while the main character stressed me out for a large portion of the book, I still found her likable.
I think one of my mini-goals for April is going to be focusing on creating a less stressful home environment. Specifically, I am targeting my dining area. I’ve currently dedicated the large table to getting the plants started for my patio garden for the summer (or let’s be real – as long as it lasts), but once they’re planted properly outside, I don’t want the space to just clutter up again. Ideally, I could buy some nice flowers to motivate me to keep it clear, but experience tells me that won’t deter me for long. It needs a purpose other than the surface I hurriedly clear off on the rare occasions I have more than two people over for dinner. I am considering turning it into a reading nook/project area, but I haven’t decided exactly what that looks like.
If you are interested in fine-tuning your people skills, research shows that reading fiction can help you do that. As a former communication professor, however, I can verify that it’s probably NOT a good idea to send that link to someone and say, “If you would just read this and do what it says, we’d get along so much better.” That’s probably not helpful. Probably.
For years, I have tried to keep track of notes I have made on each book I read, but all my efforts tend to fizzle out. So far, this process seems to be working *knocks on wood* and I’m so pleased.
As with the last update, those listed as just titles were reviewed in a previouspost.
For the main list of book titles I’ve read for this challenge, see this post.
A
With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo
B
Bluebird, Bluebird by Attica Locke
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley – This book has everything I typically like in a mystery. Unlikely/unexpected sleuth with a spunky personality and clever wit. Idyllic setting. Family secrets/character(s) with a secret history. It was all there. But the book was still just meh to me. The plot dragged so slowly for at least half of the book. Once it picked up, it was more interesting, but I was already over it by the time that happened.
C
The Castlemaine Murders by Kerry Greenwood
The Postmistress of Paris by Meg Waite Clayton
D
Dear Bob and Sue by Matt and Karen Smith
E
Excuse Me While I Disappear by Laurie Notaro
F
G
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman – I’m so glad that I watched the show before I read this. Because while I’m sure the book would have been just as clever without David Tennant as Crowley in my head, it stands to reason that just about anything is better with him (or at least the thought of him). I was happy that the high expectations I had going in were met when I read it.
H
How To Be Perfect by Michael Schur
I
The Iron Druid Chronicles (10-ish books in the series plus a lot of short stories published separately) by Kevin Hearne – OK, technically, this is way more than one book, but one thing I wish review sites let you do is post one review for the whole series, because while occasionally one book will stand out above the rest, I typically think of them as one long story. So I’m going to do what I want here. Anyway…ancient immortal druid, living in today’s world. Has a vampire for a lawyer and werewolves as allies. Mind-melds with his dog. You know, as you do. The writing is clever, and the premise is fun. I’ve sailed through the first three and am currently listening to the fourth in the series. The story and characters are great; the reader is fantastic. I especially like Oberon.
J
Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry – It took me a couple of chapters to get into this one, but I could hardly put it down once I did. The way Berry ties in events from Jayber’s early life to cast meaning on what happens later is nothing short of masterful. I’m often critical of endings, but the last sentence of this book is perfect. This is the first novel of Berry’s that I’ve read, and I’ll definitely be reading others.
K
Writers & Lovers by Lily King
L
Lucky Turtle by Bill Roorbach
M
Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire
N
O
The Opposite of You by Rachel Higginson
The Book of Form and Emptiness by Ruth Ozeki
P
Q
R
S
A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle – If I could host a dinner party with various characters in literature (a term I use broadly), Sherlock Holmes would definitely be on the guest list. I read a lot of this series when I was younger, and I enjoyed the re-read just as much if not more than I did then.
T
U
V
W
A World of Curiosities by Louise Penny
X
Y
Z
Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul by Najwa Zebian
One thing I really love about this month is that my birthday is on its way, so I get a lot of emails with coupons and freebies. I will faithfully delete countless emails I don’t read all year just to get these treats.
Here are some other things I have loved recently:
Birds of America by Lorrie Moore – This was our February selection for Follow the Reader, and we spent most of the time talking about it just reading exquisitely written lines from the stories. My favorite story was a tie between “Which Is More Than I Can Say About Some People” about the narrator’s trip to Ireland with her mom and “Terrific Mother” set in a children’s cancer ward. Moore writes deeply flawed characters really well, and each story elicited a strong emotional response.
A Hole in the World by Amanda Held Opelt – Opelt’s own experience of grief after her miscarriages and the sudden loss of her sister (Rachel Held Evans) led to her desire to learn about grief rituals, and this book is the result of what she learned. It sits in the uncertainty of having more questions than answers and cycling through both grief and joy (sometimes at the same time). It was the perfect read for Lent, and I can see myself buying and re-reading it when grief is heavy.
I’m in the market for new sandals. The weather has been springy, and the selection in my closet is sparse. I am considering these or these. Maybe these. I tend to lean toward black footwear (practical – hides dirt, goes with everything), but I’m feeling shiny lately. I may need shoes to match. Thanks for the birthday coupon, DSW!
I need another baking pan like I need a hole in my toe, but THIS IS SO CUTE. I COULD MAKE BUTTERFLY CAKELETS. Now, whether I would is another story…
It’s Staff Appreciation Month at my job, and I’m choosing to be appreciated in the form of taking a lot of fun classes and a lot of time off. Yay – more time to read!
Book Clubs
In my Rise and Shine book club this month, the theme is science and technology, so I’m mostly gathering suggestions rather than choosing a specific book to read. I mean, I have some science fiction recommendations…but I’m not sure that’s what they mean.
I start compiling these posts two or three months in advance, so there’s plenty of shifting by the time I actually post it. And by shifting, I do mean the occasional “no, on second thought, I don’t really have any interest in reading that at all” but mostly “hey – I want to read that, too!” And thus the TBR expands. This section was four books…until the last couple of weeks.
Memoir – Of Walking on Ice by Werner Herzog and Books: A Memoir by Larry McMurtry (both recommended and loaned to me by Sarah Ruth – thanks, friend!)
The person with whom I have the most inside jokes.
My “we can fight but if you so much as look at her unpleasantly I will end you” person.
I’m very protective:
(and not at all trying to make her kiss her elbow because MeMaw told me that if she did, she’d turn into a boy. I don’t know where you heard that vicious rumor.)
We grew up here:
With these people:
Lots of room to run, play, make mud pies, stage wedding ceremonies for our cats, chase the dogs, and swing until we threw up.
One of the things I love most about Tammy is her exuberant enthusiasm for all things joyful.
Like good teas from Equal Exchange.
Or a day to binge-watch Disney+
And getting her hairs done.
And Christmas.
And making sure the dogs are clean.
And marrying this guy.
I love our coffee (and sometimes pie) outings.
(KIMZEY’S. It took me this whole week to remember the name.)
She’s the person I call if I need cake and don’t want to eat it alone.
She’s the first person I call when I have good news, because she’ll be even more excited for me than I am. She’s the first person I call when I have bad news, because she already has a plan.
She is passionate, principled, warm, funny, organized, curious, responsible, and diligent.
[Not really related – just happy treats I forgot I had and found at my desk this morning.]
Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, is this week.
I have observed Lent since my early 20s, long before I was a member of a liturgical church that celebrates in seasons. I’ve practiced fasting from certain foods and activities, reading a book or study designed for the season, committing to certain service projects for 40 days, etc. I particularly love this piece from Tsh Oxenreider on why Lent is good for us. All of the ways I have observed Lent have been meaningful for me in some way, and I’m glad for the experience.
Being a part of a church that actively observes the season, though, makes my focus more communal and less personal, which is also nice. We have weekly soup suppers together and a mid-week service. For a couple of the years I’ve been part of this church, the communal observance was all I did, and it was enough.
With home as my theme for this year, a personal observance also seems in order. Part of the way I’m doing that this season is by checking in with ongoing goals, figuring out what’s working and what’s not, and adjusting as needed. This, of course, is a helpful practice in reaching long-term goals regardless of your religious leanings.
Incorporating the solitude that I need with the life that I want is sometimes messy. February has been intense but good. I’ve been a part of three performances this month. Three! I think that’s more times than I performed in all of 2022. And I have at least two more performances coming up in April that I’m excited about.
I like performing, and I want to keep doing it, but that means adjusting in other areas so that I don’t burn out. I’ve had to be extra vigilant about safeguarding my alone time, and I’ve had to be very strict with myself about boundaries between work and personal life. The time-outs have been useful because with so many performances comes extra practice and before I know it, I’m out of clean socks or spoons. Or worse – coffee.
So some of my short-term goals for Lent are about continuing with this year’s focus and resolutions, which were intentionally designed to help me find a good balance between all the things I need and want to do so that nothing gets too far off track. Specifically….
Two extended time-outs a week – This resolution (taking one long break a week) is going so well. It’s the primary reason I was able to perform three times in a two-week period without losing my mind. It’s so effective, I’m expanding it, at least for the next 6-7 weeks (and maybe longer. I suspect longer). A couple of large blocks of time a week are helpful for giving myself the breathing room to be at home in my own life and experience all that it has to offer.
Tidying – Being physically at home with an open schedule more often makes me more aware of things there that need tending to. I’m not sure when tidying became less of a chore and more of a joy, but I’m grateful for that. I suspect it had a lot to do with Marie Kondo’s approach and the example she continues to set about paying attention to what gives you joy and focusing your time and energy on those things. When I know the results of work will be so pleasant, the work itself seems less like an overwhelming drudgery and more like just the way I’m taking to get there. For the next few weeks, I want to spend at least five minutes tidying a different small area of my apartment every day to make it more functional and cozy.
Fun at work – OK, so my work situation is not great. But March is staff appreciation month, which is my favorite month of the year at UNT, and it’s a reminder that even if something is necessary but not a good fit, it still doesn’t have to be a total drag. During Lent (and hopefully beyond), I want to do one fun thing at work a day. Whether it’s taking a long walk across campus, decorating my desk, or attending a Hula dancing program (which I am absolutely signed up for), I want to learn how to make the most of it as long as I’m here.
Money issues – Two of the main reasons money makes me so anxious is that I don’t make quite enough to cover my needs plus a few small joys on a consistent basis, and I am acutely aware of how quickly the little I do make can be reduced or consumed if I’m not (and even sometimes when I am) constantly vigilant about it. To ease some of this pressure (ideally – I’m so very, very anxious), one of my goals for the year is to identify some way each month that I can either make or save more money. That’s been going fairly well, but now that I have a taste of cutting back, I’m no longer wanting to limit it to one a month. So I’m going to rip the bandage off and create a bare-bones budget that I can imagine actually sticking to. I hope to work out the kinks in March-May so that hopefully I have a better budget in place at the start of the summer. I expect that there will be tears as I let go of some things that I enjoy but are just too much right now but also hopefully some relief as, ideally, it will free up some funds to take care of other things I’ve been neglecting.
Setting weekly creative goals, reading a whole lot of books, and strength training are all seeing regular progress, so I’m just going to keep doing what’s working there.
If you observe Lent, I hope you have all the time you need this season. If you don’t observe, I hope you have a wonderful next few weeks that are as stress-free as possible. And I wish a good day to all!
You may remember Michelle from the approximately 2,342 times I’ve mentioned her over the years, or at least from her cameo on Tuesday’s post:
Today is her birthday, and I’m so happy she was born.
We met on the MRMB (Michael Rosenbaum Message Board – ah, fandom), where I knew her as ravenluvslex (raven for short, which is still the name she’s listed under in my phone). I met Michelle when I still had my first blog on livejournal (RIP). We traveled to Kansas City together to meet up with other fans where no one turned out to be a serial killer and we sang happy birthday to Michael Rosenbaum’s face on a cake.
We also met back before I carried a phone that takes pictures everywhere I went, so most of my documentation of our early days is in writing or in a picture album somewhere. Or on videos taken by other fans that we don’t really need to see.
I still have a lot of pictures of her sticking out her tongue (see above and below).
(Aw, orange couch)
(aw, Bochy’s)
There are so many things I adore about Michelle.
She’s always up for a good time.
She lets us take group pictures of feet even though she hates them (feet, not group pictures, to be clear).
She loved going to the club as much as I did.
(It’s not blurry. It’s ARTSY.)
(We should go again sometime. I promise to only spend a minor portion of the evening crying about the old place.)
She gave Nelly Cat a great life.
(Aw, Nelly Cat. *pets*)
She helps me locate Billy Boyd when necessary (the world is just better knowing that somewhere, he is).
And sends me pictures of her face when I tell her I miss it (which is even better than Billy Boyd).
She also made this super cute kid:
I love Michelle’s passion, her compassion, her boldness, her humor, her honesty, and her insight. I love that we have just as much (or more) fun together binge-watching TV and sharing delicious snacks as we do going out.
Michelle/Raven/Rupert, I love you. So, so much. Happy birthday, friend.
I met Maggie when she was a student working in the building where I was a night desk clerk, where she fit in really well with our weird staff.
She endeared herself to me pretty quickly because:
She would work the night shift on the weekends, which were otherwise horribly difficult to schedule.
She often hung out at the front desk with me when I was working, but in an unobtrusive way. Just the right kind of company.
She was the mastermind behind the original Suzanne-a-thon, an all-night appreciation event, which I appreciated in return.
She liked and encouraged my choice of nicknames for her, which mostly consisted of words that begin with “Mag.” Magnanimous was the one I used most often.
Soon, she was promoted to night desk at another hall. We IM-ed all night during our shifts, and we sat by each other at Friday staff meetings, where she totally wore green.
Soon we became good friends, which doesn’t typically happen quickly for either of us, but we seemed to click.
We shared similar hobbies.
We went shopping together.
We often enjoyed brunch with messy coffee (hers) together.
We even saw the Smurf movie. I really, really have to love someone to watch the Smurf movie with them.
And she must really, really love me, because she got up at ridiculous hours and went outside to go running with me when I forgot my personality and decided I wanted to train for a marathon.
She liked (most of) my friends and got along well with (most of) them. One in particular:
Maggie and Michelle and I lived together for a while, and that was so much fun. Well, for most of us.
Then Maggie moved to Houston, but we still text and IM almost every day. The first time I visited, we had pie.
And, of course, brunch.
We don’t see each other very often, but when we do, we make the most of it with delicious food and (sometimes) matching pjs.
All this is to say that, although my view of Valentine’s typically mirrors the words of another Maggie, the day always makes me think of my favorite Maggie.
M. Suzanne Terry 