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Archive for the ‘Roots’ Category

Days 17-19 – Be My Guest

Posted in 31 Days, Cozy, Getting It Together, Home, Mental Health, Resolutions, Roots, tagged , , on October 19, 2026| 1 Comment »

Part of why I want my house to be cozy is to make it more welcoming to guests. I used to really love having people over, but I’ve gotten more particular about doing so in recent years. I don’t know that I’ll ever be interested in throwing large parties again, but occasionally I do have people over, or sometimes (rarely, but still), people just pop by.

First – no, thank you, on the just popping by. I’m gonna need you to text first and ask if and when I’m free for you to do so. I’m not a fan of surprises in general, and I want my home to be, as often as possible, the place where only things I enjoy happen. An unexpected visit is not one of those things.

However, as much as I do not want people to show up unannounced at my front door, I’d like the state of my home not to be the reason I hate it. There are so many better reasons to hate such a thing (it’s assuming, it’s inconsiderate, it’s disruptive, etc.). I’d like to go with one of those. I keep house just in case the unmitigated disaster of a surprise guest occurs, so I can at least minimize one of the things that make it terrible.

Second, there is the matter of my upbringing. I was the messy child who could never quite meet the standard set by my mom on how my space should look. I’ve healed enough in this area to say that the expectations I grew up with for how a home should look are the least important reasons for my wanting to keep house, but I would be lying if I claimed they weren’t still a part of my motivation. I’m still working through my desire to meet the expectations of my mother-of-yore (the current version of her does not give a damn, actually, which is upsetting in its own way. It’s just so unlike her. But I digress.). According to the voice in my head that sounds a lot like Joy Terry in her 40s and 50s, there is a way your home should look, especially if you are expecting people over, and I occasionally find myself measuring my home with that yardstick.

Really, though, I prefer a much more relaxed standard. I find that guests feel just as comfortable if my house looks lived in as they would if it looked magazine-ready (Pinterest-ready? Or is that outdated, too?). More to the point, I find that my guests enjoy my company more when I’m not exhausted and stressed from frantically cleaning.

[Aside: This is not a judgment on people who enjoy keeping a more pristine home. I probably love coming to your house. It’s so pretty, and you’re doing a great job.]

Keeping my home generally guest-ready allows me to focus on the aspects of hosting I enjoy more. For example, I love a good menu. I love planning meals and making grocery lists and finding creative ways to work within food budgets and arranging/decorating the table, etc. I do not, however, love having to include in that calculation all the preliminary cleaning I would have to do to make the meal happen.

One of my biggest goals for getting better at keeping house is for it to take me an hour or less to prepare my home for guests. No matter how much notice I have, I want stay ready to be a gracious host.

I’m writing about keeping house during October.

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Day 11 – Washing Sheets

Posted in 31 Days, Cozy, Home, Resolutions, Roots, tagged , , , on October 11, 2026| 1 Comment »

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Washing sheets. What are you doin’?”

“Oh, nothin’. Just…” 

That’s how every conversation with my dad on Sunday nights starts.

At first, it was our inside joke. Almost every time I called him, I happened to be doing laundry. Which made sense. When I was a young adult, the time I carved out for laundry was about the only time I was home long enough at a decent hour to make a phone call.

Over the years, it’s become our ritual. 

So when I put my sheets in the washer on Sunday night (as my faithful Finch app reminds me to do), I call my dad.

This week, I’m going to talk about the most frequent chores I do at home that make the biggest difference in keeping it functional (and also presentable, but mostly functional). On Thursday, I’ll share with you another of my favorite books and outline the things I’m picky about when it comes to laundry.

But today, I want to talk about part of why laundry is my favorite of the frequent chores.

There are the practical reasons:

  • It makes mornings easier to not have to search through piles for something to wear.
  • It makes a clear, visible difference to the state of my home.
  • It’s a mostly hands-off chore and thus the easiest chore to stack onto other tasks, making me feel twice as productive.

What cinches it for me are the emotional reasons. 

We lived on a farm while I was growing up, and my dad did farm the land for many years, but his main job for most of my life was owning and running a dry cleaning business. He taught me (almost) everything I know about removing stains, ironing and getting the creases just right, and taking care of clothes so that they last as long as possible. Any alterations or repairs that were needed were done at the shop. One of my first summer jobs was running the front while he ran the washer and the steam press. 

I can still smell the solution used in the machine.

It’s not the career my dad planned when he was younger. He took over the business from his stepfather. He always strives to be good at everything he does and do everything to the best of his ability. I think being trusted to carry on Granddad’s legacy made him really happy. 

Laundry (and being picky about it) is part of that legacy. It might even be my whole family’s favorite chore. 

It was also one of the first clues to my mom that I was even worse off than I’d led her to believe when she came to take care of me for a few weeks in my mid-twenties. There were a few months when I just couldn’t keep anything down and was in constant pain. I knew I needed help, but I didn’t want to ask. She must have heard something wrong in my voice, because she suggested that she come for a visit.

Usually, I would go into a cleaning frenzy if I knew anyone was visiting, but especially my mother, the queen of clean. I couldn’t do it, though. My roommate at the time did her best, but when Mom got there, the first thing she noticed (other than the fact that I was curled in the fetal position on the couch) was the piles of laundry at the foot of my bed. She immediately started a load and spent the next two weeks cleaning, feeding us, driving me to doctors (probably bullying the doctors a little), and making sure the laundry stayed done. 

When my sister had knee surgery, taking over her laundry schedule was one of the things she asked me to do. In that moment, I knew how my dad felt in taking over the shop. It feels good to be entrusted with the things that are important to someone.

Laundry is not just a chore in my family. It’s how we love each other. It’s the yardstick by which we measure how we’re doing.

So before I call Dad every Sunday, I make sure there is the gentle whir of the washer and dryer in the background, letting him know I’m OK.

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days.

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31 Days of Keeping House

Posted in 31 Days, Cozy, Getting It Together, Home, Mental Health, Resolutions, Roots, tagged , , , , on October 1, 2026| 15 Comments »

When I chose cozy for my theme this year, my home was one of the main focal points of that goal. What I quickly discovered is that the cozy elements were already there – the comfy linens, the coffee and tea nook, the fairy lights, a little reading nest in every major room, etc. Unfortunately, they were often hidden behind clutter or overshadowed by household chores waiting to be done.

Before I could have a home that I (or the occasional someone else) could experience as cozy, the issues blocking all my carefully curated comfort zones had to be addressed. I’ve spent a lot of time doing that this year.

This month, I’m talking about keeping house. Not the pristine clean of my childhood, where you could eat off the kitchen floor with no adverse consequences (other than my mother yelling at you not to mess up her clean floor). But a reasonable level of clean. What most people would consider clean. The tidy kind of clean that instantly calms me when I walk through the door.

To be clear, I am not naturally good at this. I’m prone to stacks and piles and items left wherever they landed when I got distracted by another task. I have books and journals not only piled precariously high on the table by my reading chair but also stacked on the arms of the chair itself. I often have dirty coffee and tea mugs scattered everywhere. I have a chair in my bedroom that I usually cannot sit in because it’s full of discarded clothing. I organize files for an hour only to realize that, instead of organizing, what I have actually done is create 4,321 more piles of paper.

Even so, I deserve to have a home that feels cozy and peaceful. Even if keeping house doesn’t come naturally to me, I can still maintain such a home with a few handy tricks and routines.

This is not a do-this-for-a-month series. This is a talk-about-and-plan-it-for-a-month series. This is too daunting a project for me or anyone who identifies with my struggles to be successful in just 31 days. Also, we can’t just do it for a month and call it quits. Unfortunately, no kind of cleaning, tidying, or decluttering is a one-and-done deal. It’s a lifestyle. Apparently. This is an offensive fact about adulthood and physics, and I stay mad about it.

I am writing this series because focusing on cozy this year has worked. I have become a little better at cleaning and tidying this year, and I want to celebrate that a little bit. 

I also want to share the things I’ve learned in case it does not come naturally for you either. There are the things I’ve done throughout the year to reduce the overall clutter in my home and make it a cozier place to live. For the things that seem to have become routines, I will include how often I have to do them to maintain what I originally accomplished. 

While I myself am far from being an expert, there are those whose wisdom on the subject I consume voraciously, and I have several favorites. I find their books, websites, and other resources delightful. It turns out, I absolutely love reading about cleaning and tidying. People who really nerd out about it both fascinate and charm me. I will drop links in posts where their signature advice is mentioned.

Taking care of a home is often seen as fundamental to being a functioning adult. On this particular critierion…I’m alright (most days). I suspect that a lot of people can relate to that. That’s my main target audience for this series. Let’s learn together! 

I also would love for people who are good at keeping a clean, decluttered home pretty consistently to read and chime in. Teach us your ways!

You can subscribe to follow along day by day, or just come back occasionally to this post, which I will update as a table of contents as each day goes live. As with any general, prescriptive advice – take what you need and leave the rest.

[And yes, all the pictures in the series are of my actual home.]

All the posts to date:

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Southern Gentleman – Trope vs. Reality

Posted in Feminism, Mental Health, Rants, Roots on August 9, 2026| Leave a Comment »

[Disclaimer: This post applies to a small subset of straight(ish) relationships. I recognize that it may not be applicable to most readers. It’s barely applicable to me, but it’s adjacent enough that I have strong opinions about it. Anyway, feel free to grab some popcorn or a cup of tea and enjoy the show.]

This video has been living rent-free in my head for a few days.

Go ahead and watch it. I’ll wait.

See what he did? How he acted? It’s got my whole dander up and my inner storm cloud rolling.

I was going to leave a comment on the post itself, but they’re having fun. I get it. People like daddies. They like to role play. They may even like to work out their daddy issues during said role play. I’m not going to kink shame.

And I love a southern gentleman. Someone who says, “Yes, ma’am.” Holds the door open or stands aside while I walk in first. Carries my stuff (extra points for this one, actually. I can trip over a speck of dust, so this is particularly helpful). Offers an elbow when we’re walking up stairs. I’m here for all these things.

But if you are a straight man who a) considers yourself a gentleman (southern or otherwise), and b) frequently laments that women no longer seem to be interested in that sort of thing – guys like this are the reason why. They remember they’re southern (and have all kinds of wild ideas about what that entails) but forget the gentleman part that is supposed to go along with it.

The man in this video may be southern, but he is not a gentleman. He seems to still want to go through the motions and be seen as one, though. He wants the credit without doing any of the work.

A true southern gentleman talks the talk and walks the walk.

He failed at both of these things.

First, a true southern gentleman would never, ever speak to a woman that way, like she is his ill-behaved child instead of a grown person and partner. The core motivation of true gentlemanly behavior is respect, not control. There was nothing respectful about his little speech. If a man I was dating talked to me like that, we would indeed be having a conversation about it, or I would be very pointedly opening my door again to get out and walk away.

Second, if he were truly a southern gentleman, she would not even have had the opportunity to open her own door, because he would have had the foresight to get there first. When that didn’t happen, his true colors came out pretty quickly, as he then proceeded to blame her for something he wanted but failed to accomplish.

Unacceptable.

I was raised to be a southern lady around true southern gentlemen. And I was taught that a southern lady does not wait out in the elements, sweating and sunburning, with her hair getting blown to kingdom come.

A southern lady does not wait for doors to be opened. Open doors wait for her. That’s what meeting the standard of southern gentleman looks like.

Certainly, there is room for grace. He may not always get to the door first, and she will open it herself. She will start up the stairs before he gets there. She may get so excited to see him that she rushes out the front door before he has a chance to come knock on it when he picks her up.

But as Footloose, my mom, and my memaw taught us, the correct response in that situation is “You look beautiful,” not “Have patience.”

The shriek I shrieked when he said that to her. Bold of him to stand that close, I’ll give him that.

Behavior like this is why the southern gentleman trope is one of my least favorite in fiction. It’s too easy for a man to act polite when his heart is really just a wasteland of misogynistic bullshit. And then people start thinking that’s the way it’s supposed to be in reality.

It is not.

Respect and kindness have to be at the core, or your “southern gentleman” persona is just a smokescreen for abuse.

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June 2025 TBR

Posted in Books, Fun, Home, Mental Health, Reading Challenges, Resolutions, Roots, Wonder, tagged , , on June 2, 2025| 2 Comments »

Hello, June. I’m trying hard to get into the spirit of you. It may be easier this year, since I’m spending more time at the farm. I loved June in the Panhandle, growing up. It was almost as good as October. We’ll see if the magic still persists.

Speaking of magic, I have not been great at pursuing my exploration of wonder this year. There are reasons, but I’d still like to do better. After all, the whole point of cultivating a practice of wonder is to have it in place for when things are *gestures broadly* I think I’m going to start Awestruck: 52 Experiments To Find Wonder, Joy, and Meaning in Everyday Life by Alexandra Franzen [inspire/self-help/community care] this month. And continue on with Year of Wonder: Classical Music To Enjoy Day by Day by Clemency Burton-Hill [essays? Daily prompts?], which has been excellent. I also want to read On Thriving by Brandi Sellerz-Jackson [inspire/self-help/community care] early in the month so I can get it back to the library for the people waiting on it. Hopefully, these will inspire me to embrace the wonder in everyday life a little better.

What I have been great at is carving out time every day to read. Here’s hoping June brings even more of that. 

Library

In addition to On Thriving, there are several other books I need to return to the library this month.

Book Clubs

  • Tom Lake by Ann Patchett [general fiction]
  • The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon [mystery/suspense]
  • The Author’s Guide to Murder by Beatriz Williams, Lauren Willig, and Karen White [mystery/suspense] – Rise & Shine is a mystery theme this month!
  • Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune [fantasy/nonrealism] – Follow the Reader’s choose your own adventure with a queer theme for Pride Month
  • Nevada by Imogen Binnie [queer lit] – also an FTR pick

Reading Challenges

Some of my favorite things about summer are the extra reading challenges and an abundance of readathons. Apparently, to many people, summer means more time to read, and that is delightful. Our public library has a challenge that lets you earn free books. As I also make space for Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Guide (the Minimalist List can be found here) by putting as many as my library has ordered on my hold list and eagerly await the possibility of a 52 Book Club summer challenge, I don’t want to neglect the yearly challenges I’m trying to finish. I know I have at least one official readathon coming up in July, but I know I will add more just for kicks, including a mini-retreat this Saturday. There are just too many good books I want to read! And by too many, I do mean never enough and please keep writing more great books, dear authors.

For this month…

52 Book Club:

  • Hurricane Summer by Asha Bromfield – Genre two: set in summer [general YA]
  • The Bodyguard by Katherine Center – A crossover (set in a shared universe) [favorite authors]
  • The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center – Shares universe with previous prompt [favorite authors]
  • Kill Joy by Holly Jackson – A prequel [mystery/suspense]

Libro.fm:

  • Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune – Listen to an audiobook by an LGBTQIA+ author [fantasy/nonrealism]
  • Kingmaker by Sonia Purnell – Read an audiobook about a historical figure and/or event [general nonfiction]
  • Nevada by Imogen Binnie – Listen to an audiobook by a transgender author [queer lit]
  • Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado – Listen to an anthology or short story collection [essays/short stories]

Bad Bitch Book Club:

  • Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy – A book set in the state/region where you live [general YA]
  • The Full Moon Coffee Shop by Mai Mochizuki – A book with astrology as a main plot point [fantasy/magical realism]
  • A bit of catch-up with the books I’ve planned for previous months

Nowhere Book Bingo:

  • All Fours by Miranda July – Book rec from a friend (thanks, Sarah!) [general fiction]
  • The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton – your favorite author’s favorite book – as choosing a favorite author is like asking someone to choose a favorite book (i.e., impossible), this is one of the favorite books of one of my favorite authors (Roxane Gay) [general fiction]

I’ve already plotted out all my intended reads for the Overeducated Women With Cats challenge in previous months. So all that is left to do for that challenge is to finish reading them. Maybe I will have them finished by the end of summer.

Looking forward to my mini-retreat this Saturday. I already had my snacks planned (because priorities), and now I have my TBR ready to go!

Do your reading habits change with the seasons? If so, how?

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Summer To-Not-Do List

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Fun, Getting It Together, Home, Joy, Mental Health, Roots, Work, tagged , , , on May 21, 2025| 2 Comments »

I’ve had the draft document for this post open with nothing but a title for three days. That seems ominous.

Do I even have plans this summer? Or is it just something I have to get through until the weather is nice enough to wear my boots again?

I know why I’m hesitant. It makes sense. Summer is the busiest time at my job, so while everyone else is making plans to go on vacation, have fun outings, embrace all the summer programs that their community has to offer, and just generally live their best lives, I’m going to be super busy most days and, subsequently, too worn out by the time evening comes around to want to do any of those things. 

I’m also checking in on my parents more, which means at least every other weekend will be spent working on things at the farm, hanging out with my new bird friends (see above), and helping Mom and Dad plan and navigate whatever the next phase will bring.

I’m not really looking for more plans. 

In fact, what would make my summer better is to find things to take off my plate. That seems unlikely, though.

I don’t want to suck at my job or abandon my family. I also don’t want to drop off the face of the earth with friends or miss out on the things that bring me the most joy.

But it’s just a lot, and I probably need to use some of that PTO I have stored up.

So my bucket list this summer is more of to-not-do list. And it’s just two things:

  1. Find 5-10 random days to take off. I’m leaning toward 5 right now, but if things start getting nuttier, it’s gonna need to be closer to 10.
  2. DON’T. TELL. ANYONE. As soon as I say, “I’m really looking forward to taking a couple of days off next week,” people like to respond with “Ooh, we could do something!”

    Which is great. Truly. I adore the place of love and excitement that comes from. I’m glad people still want to hang out with me even when I’m not my very best self, which seems to be all the time these days.

    But the moment I start making plans on my day off…I no longer have the day off. Sure, I may get to sleep in or have more leisure time, and I guess that’s better than nothing. But once I make a plan with someone else, that whole day is now centered around making sure I don’t get too involved in a project or task – or even a spontaneous outing, if that’s where the day’s whims take me – that I forget or show up late to the plans I made. And I’m very bad at turning down things that sound fun with people I love simply because I need to rest. While I strive to be better at this, I recognize that I’m not there yet, so I’m removing the temptation altogether by not letting anyone think I’m available when I’m not.

Whew.

Saying I’m not available when I have the day off is uncomfortable for me. I have struggled with being honest about what I need for most of my adult life. Peeling off the people-pleasing layers I clung to during childhood is hard, and this one is particularly thick. 

It’s work worth doing, though.

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Friday Five – Happy Almost-Holiday!

Posted in Books, Food, Friday Five, Home, Roots, Work on December 22, 2023| Leave a Comment »

It’s the last workday of the year (well, at one job – probably going to do some writing for the other one next week. Probably. Maybe. We’ll see.). I am in the process of interviewing everyone who passed through the application portion of selection (for the department’s new live-in student staff next year) and indicated they were specifically interested in the Housing Ambassador side of things, but I am done with today’s round! I desperately need to organize my office, so that’s on the to-do list this afternoon.

Then tomorrow, it’s off to the family farm with my sister and brother-in-law! 

But first, I have some things to share with you today:

  • My favorite news this week – Martha Wells’s Murderbot is going to become a show! I love Murderbot. Very excited to see what they do with it.
  • I Am From Here by Vishwesh Bhatt – This cookbook is written like a love story to food and family and all the influences that brought Bhatt to where he is today. Beautiful pictures and a horde of new recipes to try.
  • In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren – I enjoyed this book, but I was stressed out for most of it because there was a going-back-in-time/Groundhog-Day-esque element, and I didn’t feel like the conclusion to that was thoroughly flushed out. Are they OK? Did everyone make it out alright? I needed answers sooner and also more completely.
  • Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt – I LOVED THIS BOOK. The characters are endearing and one of them is an octopus. It’s not as weird as it sounds. It’s charming and wonderful and if you liked A Man Called Ove or Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine or books like that, you will like this one, too.
  • And finally, while I’m definitely going to pick up dinner tonight on my way home, I am looking forward to my upcoming slower week. Gonna make some big-batch meals in the crock pot and roast a whole lot of vegetables for warm salads. Maybe make some soup. I’ve pretty much depleted my stash of frozen leftovers in the last couple of weeks, so I’m excited to replenish them.

I also look forward to posting some year-in-review thoughts as well as my theme and goals for next year in the upcoming week. I wish you contentment and love as you finish out the year!

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Leftover Soup

Posted in Food, Home, Roots on November 30, 2023| Leave a Comment »

(Not a pic of the most recent leftover soup described below, but definitely one of my happier accidents from the past)

One of the things I get most excited to make when the weather is even the slightest bit chilly is leftover soup. It’s especially useful at the end of a holiday or multiple days of gathering when you’ve cooked a lot and have multiple random bits of dishes too big to throw out but too small to serve everyone for another meal. It combines three of my favorite things:

  • Soup
  • Creativity
  • Minimizing food waste

I take a look in my fridge and pantry and identify the items that will definitely be beyond their useful date before I get around to eating them. Or items that I have a ridiculous amount of (like The Great Chickpea Debacle of yore pictured above). Or items that don’t go with anything else but the very specific recipe I bought them for. Or items that would just taste great in a soup.

I gather them, imagine what they would taste like together, and ponder a spice profile that most closely fits it (and also my existing spice collection). Then I warm some oil, chop up whatever soupy aromatics (onion, garlic, celery, peppers, carrots) I have on hand, add them to the oil, and get started crafting my soup.

This past Saturday, I got to teach my dad how to make leftover soup. This was thrilling in several ways. First, I hardly ever get to teach my dad cooking tips – it’s usually just following his instructions on whatever plan he already has in his mind. Second, I got to root around freely in their over-the-top herb/spice collection. Finally, I got to watch his amazement as he discovered the joys of combining coconut milk and lemon, one of my favorite culinary delights in life.

In addition to sauteed onion, garlic, and celery, we combined:

  • mashed sweet potatoes with rosemary and butter
  • boiled russet potatoes
  • green bean casserole (green beans, cream of mushroom soup, milk, and those weirdly addictive crunchy onion things)
  • cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, random garden herb blend, fresh cracked black pepper, salt
  • coconut milk
  • lemon juice

Other than adding enough water to make it the consistency we wanted, we didn’t fuss around with it too much. Just let it thicken and simmered it until we declared it done.

It was a hit! The end result was homey and warm and comforting and delicious. I was especially pleased with the salty-sweet theme. Mom, Dad, and I all enjoyed it, and I got to bring the small amount we had left over home to savor the next day.

If you’ve never made leftover soup, I highly recommend it. It’s a low-stakes experiment from which you may discover new favorite flavor profiles or combos.

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Day 22 – Potlucks

Posted in 31 Days, Church, Food, Home, Joy, Roots on October 22, 2023| Leave a Comment »

I grew up Baptist, so I’ve definitely attended my share (and about 14 other people’s share) of potlucks. Any chance the church folk had to gather and share a meal, they jumped at it. They usually tried to fit it into some sort of holiday or celebration, but if the hostess committee (yes, that’s what it was called) felt we had gone too long without one, we’d see an announcement in the bulletin inviting everyone to bring their favorite dish to share in the next week or two.

I act like it wasn’t glorious, but it was. Casseroles as far as the eye could see, various things made in slow cookers, fried chicken, all manner of potatoes made every way you could imagine, things called “salad” that were definitely more dessert than the healthy side the term implies, and someone always made deviled eggs.

The church I attend now can also bring it with the potluck spread. Casseroles, charcuterie boards, and so many desserts. We have vegan and vegetarian options, and occasionally someone brings beer (because Lutherans). And because many of our congregants have lived in New Mexico at some point, there is usually at least one dish featuring the hatch green chile or some other pepper.

The most common potlucks I attend these days are our monthly cookbook club nights. We often have a theme (and, as one of the members pointed out, the theme is often “orange” because we really, really love cheese). Friday’s theme, for example, was spooky foods. We had:

  • Jack o’lantern sweet potato fries on the side of matching falafel burgers
  • Jack o’lantern pizza
  • Mummy hot dogs
  • Ghoul-ash (my contribution)
  • Pumpkin cake (and yes, the stem was a rice krispie treat)

I learned a lot from the way I grew up. Much of it, I’ve had to unlearn (and then relearn some things…). But one of the things I value the most is the importance of gathering around the table to share a meal and some conversation. Taking the time to eat some good food and have a good talk. Most of the people I know the best and love the most are those who have fed me or have allowed me to feed them. Linking food and friendship – I come by it honest.

I’m writing about how food has shaped my life, my relationships, and my sense of home this month.

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Day 20 – Free Friday Five

Posted in 31 Days, Books, Food, Friday Five, Fun, Home, Joy, Mental Health, Roots, Work on October 21, 2023| 2 Comments »

I love having a free day. I was off work today, and my car is fixed, and I had cookbook club tonight, and it was just a great day.

Here are some foodie things I enjoyed reading this week.

  • And we’re right out of the gate with some controversy, but I really need to get something off my chest. Sweet potato pie is superior to pumpkin pie. Discuss if you must, but I said what I said.
  • We had a whole discussion about favorite holiday foods and favorite sides at staff. There were divisions, alliances were formed, shots almost fired. It was glorious. Best staff meeting ever. In related news, I need cranberry salsa in my life. 
  • When I find a foodie book I really love, I often re-read it. In fact, of all the genres, foodie memoir or fiction is what I’m most likely to re-read. We are discussing Lessons in Chemistry in a book club at work on Monday, so I’m listening to it again this weekend. It may be my favorite book I’ve read this year. It’s so good. I’m also re-reading Love, Loss, and What We Ate by Padma Lakshmi, and I love it just as much as I did the first time. The stories people tell about food, its place in their lives, and its impact on culture are meaningful to me. It’s one of my favorite ways to get to know someone.
  • The Modern Proper: Simple Dinners for Every Day by Holly Erickson and Natalie Mortimer – I adored this cookbook from the beginning when one of the authors was talking about her grandma teaching her the “proper” way to dice. What little culinary education I gleaned during childhood was learning the proper way (i.e., Mom’s way) to do something. My mom and I once had an argument because I was adding water to the pie crust recipe wrong (my point was that I had seen several bakers doing it a different way and their pies turned out ok…to which she responded “But they weren’t baking in my kitchen.” Welp, they sure weren’t. She had me there.). Conversations like this one were why, while most of my formative memories of food stem from the place I grew up, most of my actual cooking skills were developed when I had a kitchen of my own. Like the authors of this cookbook, I have great memories of observing Mom, Aunt Gale, MeMaw, and (later in adulthood) Dad in the kitchen, but my workable knowledge is the result of experimenting and creating my own sense of the proper ways to do things. It’s how I learned that the way I add water to a pie crust is just fine and also that if you replace half the water with vodka (or gin), you get a flakier crust (the dough puffs as the alcohol evaporates). Sometimes learning new ways to do things is good.
  • And this has absolutely nothing to do with food, but it has everything to do with home, and also I love Jenny Lawson, and maybe someone here might benefit from reading it, and plus…I do what I want. Actually, looking at the drawing, I can picture myself curled up in a blanket, drinking something warm and eating something comforting in that little house. So it IS sort of food-related after all (if you really want it to be). Read all the way to my favorite line at the end – “Sometimes the mistakes are beautiful. Just like you.”

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and I hope you’re enjoying this series on the food that reminds me of home this month!

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