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Archive for the ‘Getting It Together’ Category

Days 12-14 – Regular Rituals

Posted in Resolutions, 31 Days, Getting It Together, Mental Health, Home, Cozy, tagged , , on October 13, 2026| 1 Comment »

Today, I am talking about the main tasks that, if done regularly, make me the most satisfied with my home. I already talked about laundry on Sunday, and we will hear a little more about it on Thursday. I started off making these three different posts, but then I realized I don’t really have three days’ worth to say. Also, making one big post let me add a fourth and very important category.

Watering the Plants

There is nothing in my home that screams, “Neglect!” to me more loudly than a droopy or dying plant. Now, sometimes my plants droop just because they’re moody, and I’m not a plant whisperer by any stretch of the imagination (which you can notice if you look closely at the picture above). Even ivy is taking a gamble at being in my home. But most of my plants generally behave and thrive per my expectations if I pay them even the tiniest bit of attention on a regular basis. 

I used to not notice if my plants needed water until they drooped. Now, however, I have a little reminder by putting a goal on Finch that shows up once a week and doesn’t go away until I mark it done. 

Doing the Dishes

I don’t often wish for a partner. I used to yearn, but now, I’m pretty happy overall with my solitary life.

Until it’s time to do the dishes.

When dishes start to pile up, I start to fantasize about getting myself into one of those I-cook-you-clean situations. The main reason I don’t cook as much as I want is because I mentally calculate how many dishes I’d have to clean afterward, and it just doesn’t seem worth it.

This is the chore I’m prone to avoid the most. Unfortunately, it has a great impact on not only how well I feed myself but also how disgusting my home gets. So I’m getting back into the habit of making it a regular ritual. 

I’m not great at it yet, so on days when I work in the kitchen, the guiding principle is: Clean what I use, plus five. That is, clean every dish, utensil, and cooking implement I used that day and then add either five more items or five more minutes to the chore. I’ve been trying to do this at least 10 days a month lately, and my kitchen is slowly becoming manageable again. It’s not really clean yet, but at least I no longer regard walking into it with the absolute dread that I did when it was chaos.

Sweeping the Floors

This chore has become so satisfying to me. It makes such a huge visual difference in a small amount of time. In just 15 minutes, I can pretty much sweep my whole apartment. I try to do this at least once a week.

It’s official day is Saturday, but I find myself doing touch-ups of missed spots throughout the week. This is especially true of the weeks when Saturdays are busy and I end up skipping it. Even when I miss a whole week, though, my floors still look so much better than they did at the beginning of the year.

Cleaning the Bathrooms

This, too, is a once-a-week task. And when I say cleaning the bathrooms, I don’t mean deep cleaning. That is not a regular-ritual conversation. This is just maintenance.

A solid maintenance cleaning for the bathroom involves:

  • Cleaning toilet bowl and sanitizing all toilet surfaces
  • Spraying and wiping down the shower (sometimes twice a week, because my conditioner is slippery)
  • Sweeping and mopping the floor
  • Gathering the trash
  • Putting any loose items back where they belong
  • Wiping down the cabinet and the sink

This process usually takes me about 20 minutes in my primary bathroom and 10 minutes in the guest bathroom. I do each bathroom on its own night, and I clean them on days when I have somewhere else to go in the evening.

This is not a welcome-home–to-stay task. It’s a get-it-done-quickly-because-we-have-places-to-be task.

I come home from work and immediately tackle a bathroom while my brain is still in go mode, on nights when I don’t have time to overthink and talk myself out of it or get distracted by something else. Then I eat a quick dinner and go to whatever I am doing that night (e.g., book club, choir, etc.).

What are some of your regular rituals?

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days.

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Day 8 – Why I Love This Book

Posted in 31 Days, Books, Cozy, Getting It Together, Mental Health, Resolutions, tagged , , , , on October 8, 2026| 1 Comment »

I love How To Keep a House While Drowning. The subtitle is “a gentle approach to cleaning and organizing,” and that’s just what I need. I am not motivated by what I should do or someone else’s standard. Frankly, I’m not even motivated by my own standards. 

I am motivated by grace and understanding and generosity, and this book is an abundance of those things.

In the first few pages, Davis starts in with this wisdom: “You don’t exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you.” Many of my struggles with keeping house are based on my suspicion that I somehow owe my apartment something. But really? I am there because of my needs (to have shelter) and desires (to be cozy af). Therefore, it makes much more sense to approach it in ways that serve this purpose.

When I approach housework as a way of honoring my needs, my perspective shifts. What would make Future Me happy or help her relax? That is why I clean. That is why I declutter. Not to impress some possible guests but to please myself.

Davis also addresses the binary status of done or not done. The point of housework isn’t to mark something as “done.” Now, initially, this offended me to my very core. You know I love marking things off a checklist. But the point of keeping house isn’t to finish, but to keep it functional. If my expectation is that something is finished, I will get frustrated the next time I have to do it again. But if I change my mindset to functionality, the whole process softens into something more sustainable.

The third thing I love about this book is the statement, “Self-care was never meant to be a replacement for community care.” There’s a whole lovely section on this, but one of my takeaways is the reminder that we still need each other. I can do the best I can with every resource and ounce of energy I have and still not finish all the things. It’s not just OK to help each other; it’s critical.

Anyway, this is easily one of my top five favorite books on keeping house. Highly recommend, especially if shame and unreasonable expectations tend to immobilize you. This book will help.

I’m writing about keeing house for 31 days. You can browse the topic list here!

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Day 5 – Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Posted in 31 Days, Cozy, Getting It Together, Resolutions, Revolution, tagged , , , , on October 6, 2026| 2 Comments »

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. It’s been the mantra of those who care for the planet and want to minimize the waste they produce for decades. It’s also three helpful hints for keeping house. Nothing gets stuff organized (or gone completely) faster than one of these actions.

Reuse is my favorite of the three. While my main goal for extraneous stuff is to get rid of it, of course, I also really despise having to buy something again to replace that thing I JUST threw away. I am the poster child for “But I might need it someday.” I really do often find uses for the random things I keep. So before getting rid of it, I look for ways to reuse it (stay tuned for Friday for some of my favorite things to repurpose).  

Reduce is my second choice, even though I think it is the best of the three. I wish it were my favorite. After all, the most efficient way not to waste the things that come into your home is to not bring extraneous nonsense into it in the first place. 

I’m just not very good at it. I mean, I have no problem with the things I’m super picky about. For example, I’m not going to impulse buy hand soap. I have the two kinds I like (one for my bathroom, one for the guest bathroom), and while I may stock an extra of each, that’s about it. Yarn, on the other hand…I may have an issue there. 

Reduction also looks different for different households. Take food prep, for instance. Ideally, all my vegetables would be fresh from the farmer’s market where the only packaging I use is the cloth bag I bring from home, and I would prep them for use the minute I brought them inside. But I got exhausted just writing those sentences. If that was the standard I tried to hold myself to, I would be constantly overwhelmed and end up in the drive-through more often than not, which creates the most waste with the single-use cups and utensils and wrappers (oh my). Getting most of my vegetables frozen is a compromise, but it’s better than the next likely alternative.

Recycling is the bane of my existence. I am committed to doing it. I know individuals can’t solve the major environmental crises caused by corporate greed and its inevitable consequences of environmental waste and bad practices and shortcuts (although we can vote with our dollar by not shopping with them whenever possible). And I know that a lot of what goes in the recycling bins (particularly the catch-all ones) ends up as trash anyway. But I adhere to the principle that if everyone did their part by throwing fewer things away, we could maybe at least keep the landfills under better control. I know we definitely can’t keep them under control if we don’t even try. So I’m going to continue doing my part, small as it may be, even though it’s among my least favorite chores. 

[Public service announcement – There are many things that need to be recycled or disposed of responsibly (i.e., not in the dumpster/trash bin), even if doing so is a pain, so please make sure you know the right place to take these items where you live.]

My beef with recycling most things is that it can’t just be done in-house. It involves a task and then also an errand. I hate errands so much. If I ever become inexplicably wealthy, errands are the first thing I’m going to outsource. I would actually hire a person full-time to run my errands for me if I could afford to do so.

If you live in a place where people will come and pick up your donations at your house for you? That’s nice. You should take full advantage of that. If I could just leave a box on the porch and have it magically disappear to a place I trust to use the items responsibly, recycling might become my favorite chore. So step one of recycling is to research the places near you that will do this for you. You may be surprised at how easy they make it.

But most of the local places near me that recycle used items don’t pick up from apartments. Alas. So I gather. And gather. And accumulate. And then…eventually…sometimes with weeping and gnashing of teeth…deliver to the appropriate location.

Maybe if I think of recycling as a quest it will be easier to keep up with. *ponders and plots*

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days. Click here to see the topic list!

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Day 4 – Decluttering Games

Posted in 31 Days, Cozy, Fun, Getting It Together, Mental Health, Resolutions, tagged , , , , on October 5, 2026| 1 Comment »

A common characteristic of neurodivergent brains is that we switch attention easily and often. Some call it a short attention span. Some call it easily bored. Some call it multitasking (or if you’re me, rapid-succession unitasking).

Whatever you call this phenomenon, it can make menial tasks a challenge to complete (there is another beast called executive dysfunction that makes things hard to even start, but we’ll save that for another day). Most days, I don’t have a problem getting started on a cleaning project, but my follow-through often gets sidetracked by another task.

One thing I have found helpful in addressing this issue is to gamify decluttering/cleaning. I actually use this with most of the routine things that need to be habits (such as drinking water, remembering to eat, getting exercise, etc.), but it works especially well when it comes to housework, or anything that has clear start and finish points. When I turn decluttering into a game, it gives my attention span the challenge it needs to stay interested long enough to complete the given task.

Here are a few of my favorite games for keeping house.

Finch App

I loooove the Finch app. You have a character (specifically, a birb – mine’s name is Bandit). You can decorate its home and dress it up. You can send it on adventures. You earn the items you need to do all these things by completing goals, which you can customize. For example, some of my goals are:

  • Clean or tidy for ten minutes (x6 per day)
  • Drink 16 oz. of water (x5 per day)
  • Exercise for 3 minutes (x10 per day)

There are several more, and I change them based on the goals I am focusing on at the time.

In addition to getting to send Bandit on adventures and buy her cute clothes, I also use Finch to track my longer-term progress. For example, I track the number of days each month that I complete my 6 units of cleaning. If my history shows I cleaned for 15 or more days in a given month, I give myself a little pat on the back and possibly a small treat. Like, maybe I get a sausage biscuit instead of making breakfast one Saturday. Sometimes, though, just seeing progress is reward enough.

Decluttering Surges 

My brain likes brief bouts of intensity, and this game scratches that itch.  For a set period of time (a day, a week, but not more than a month, or I get bored and distracted), I perform a specific task once per a subset of that time. Sometimes there’s a preset task, sometimes there’s a preset time limit. The constraints are what make the game.

For example, on Saturdays when I am at home all day and have a lot of cleaning to do, I challenge myself to get up and tidy or clean at the end of each hour. For example, when the clock reads 1:50, I put down my book or put aside my writing or press pause on the show I’m watching, and see how much I can get done before the clock turns to 2:00. It’s a race against myself. It not only results in my home being a lot cleaner at the end of the day but also reminds me to get up and move occasionally.

Another example is the challenge I did when I noticed piles were getting out of control. For one month, I tasked myself with getting rid of one bag or box of stuff (or one item, if it was too big to fit in a bag or box) per day. It was simple but effective.

Spot Cleaning 

Sometimes stuff accumulates. Or it looks dusty. Or something is wrong that will just take a few minutes to put right. Sometimes my decluttering surges focus on one small area.

Take the shelf pictured above. It is designated as a space for mementos and knick knacks, but a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that it had also become a dumping ground for items that I was using in the area and just didn’t put away. A hammer and some nails, a hold sticker from the library, a coffee mug, etc.

So I set a 5-minute timer on my phone and got to work:

  • I removed everything from the shelf.
  • I dusted the shelf and each item that belongs there as I put them back.
  • I took the other items and put them up where they belong.
  • With the time I had left, I also dusted the shelf above it that holds the TV and moved the Christmas mouse figurine that was lingering next to it to my Christmas storage box (better late than never, I guess).

So in five minutes, I accomplished twice as much as I intended to. I won!

Spot cleaning is especially useful for those areas of my home that overwhelm me. I spot-clean my office a lot. It’s a small space that, unlike the rest of the apartment, I don’t use every day. It’s easy for it to become a dumping ground, and it doesn’t take long for it to look like it belongs on an episode of Hoarders. Such a sight makes me want to shut the door and run away. But I just got released to work from home three days a week, so it has to be functional. In the past month, I’ve made it my mission to spot-clean at least one shelf, one surface, or one square foot of floor per day, and the difference that has made in just a few short weeks is astounding.

It may seem silly to have to turn common chores into games just to get them done. But all I hear from that sentence is that they’re getting done, and any method that makes that happen consistently will always be welcome in my home.

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days. Click here to see the topic list!

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31 Days of Keeping House

Posted in 31 Days, Cozy, Getting It Together, Home, Mental Health, Resolutions, Roots, tagged , , , , on October 1, 2026| 11 Comments »

When I chose cozy for my theme this year, my home was one of the main focal points of that goal. What I quickly discovered is that the cozy elements were already there – the comfy linens, the coffee and tea nook, the fairy lights, a little reading nest in every major room, etc. Unfortunately, they were often hidden behind clutter or overshadowed by household chores waiting to be done.

Before I could have a home that I (or the occasional someone else) could experience as cozy, the issues blocking all my carefully curated comfort zones had to be addressed. I’ve spent a lot of time doing that this year.

This month, I’m talking about keeping house. Not the pristine clean of my childhood, where you could eat off the kitchen floor with no adverse consequences (other than my mother yelling at you not to mess up her clean floor). But a reasonable level of clean. What most people would consider clean. The tidy kind of clean that instantly calms me when I walk through the door.

To be clear, I am not naturally good at this. I’m prone to stacks and piles and items left wherever they landed when I got distracted by another task. I have books and journals not only piled precariously high on the table by my reading chair but also stacked on the arms of the chair itself. I often have dirty coffee and tea mugs scattered everywhere. I have a chair in my bedroom that I usually cannot sit in because it’s full of discarded clothing. I organize files for an hour only to realize that, instead of organizing, what I have actually done is create 4,321 more piles of paper.

Even so, I deserve to have a home that feels cozy and peaceful. Even if keeping house doesn’t come naturally to me, I can still maintain such a home with a few handy tricks and routines.

This is not a do-this-for-a-month series. This is a talk-about-and-plan-it-for-a-month series. This is too daunting a project for me or anyone who identifies with my struggles to be successful in just 31 days. Also, we can’t just do it for a month and call it quits. Unfortunately, no kind of cleaning, tidying, or decluttering is a one-and-done deal. It’s a lifestyle. Apparently. This is an offensive fact about adulthood and physics, and I stay mad about it.

I am writing this series because focusing on cozy this year has worked. I have become a little better at cleaning and tidying this year, and I want to celebrate that a little bit. 

I also want to share the things I’ve learned in case it does not come naturally for you either. There are the things I’ve done throughout the year to reduce the overall clutter in my home and make it a cozier place to live. For the things that seem to have become routines, I will include how often I have to do them to maintain what I originally accomplished. 

While I myself am far from being an expert, there are those whose wisdom on the subject I consume voraciously, and I have several favorites. I find their books, websites, and other resources delightful. It turns out, I absolutely love reading about cleaning and tidying. People who really nerd out about it both fascinate and charm me. I will drop links in posts where their signature advice is mentioned.

Taking care of a home is often seen as fundamental to being a functioning adult. On this particular critierion…I’m alright (most days). I suspect that a lot of people can relate to that. That’s my main target audience for this series. Let’s learn together! 

I also would love for people who are good at keeping a clean, decluttered home pretty consistently to read and chime in. Teach us your ways!

You can subscribe to follow along day by day, or just come back occasionally to this post, which I will update as a table of contents as each day goes live. As with any general, prescriptive advice – take what you need and leave the rest.

[And yes, all the pictures in the series are of my actual home.]

All the posts to date:

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Friday Five – Forcing Fall

Posted in Alive, Andilit, Cozy, Friday Five, Getting It Together, Quiet, Resolutions, Seasons, tagged , , on September 25, 2026| Leave a Comment »

Alright. It’s time for fall. I’m tired of waiting. And by that, I do mean that I am wearing my boots and making soup and sipping hot apple juice (specifcally, Simply Apple or Sprouts brand) out of a tea mug in the evenings (my childhood’s answer to the predicament that we don’t have real cider here) and not waiting for it at all. Once again, I am bringing in autumn by sheer force of will. You’re welcome.

I have a fun (I hope) series coming up in October about keeping house. I hope that you will enjoy reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it. I may not have enough content to last the whole month, but a daily post throughout October is currently the goal. 

I’ve also started my final curriculum for the year. I am ready to recognize that planning four curricula in one year was a bit unhinged. “Cozy” has been good. “Write a song and upload something to Bandcamp” was good (and a portion of it took a delightful turn that I didn’t predict, i.e., the upload being a wonderful group project). “Learn to play organ” was…ambitious and not at all feasible in the short timeline I gave it (what do you mean, my piano skills don’t completely translate?! Rude but ok). I’m still working on it, but I am appropriately humbled. 

As productive as these curricula have helped me to be, though…I’m so tired. I feel like each project is its own part-time job. And they’ve overlapped a lot, which makes it feel like even more work. So I’m trying to be more reasonable (which I despise) and gentler with myself (which I begrudgingly admit would be a good thing that makes being reasonable acceptable). 

Anyway…the fourth curriculum started later than planned and is going to extend into next year. My basic objective is to get my writing life back on track. I want to finish two projects – the aforementioned blog series in October and a second draft of my Fishbowl manuscript. But I also want to have a writing life that feels good and productive and creative and nourishing to me. One that is actually reasonable (ugh) for my current life and not just my imaginary life where I have no other responsibilities…like a job.

[Frankly, any one of the four curricula would have been more than enough progression for one year. But I’m already excited about the writing curriculum, and I’m not giving up on the organ (just relaxing about it), so we press on, and they will both just take as long as they take, and I’m also going to work on being okay with that.]

So that’s how life has been going. 

Here are some good reads from the last couple of weeks:

  • I enjoyed this reminder. “Seasonal living, to me, is about getting curious about those cues again and finding out what might happen when we let our food, light exposure, daily rhythms, and even our approach to rest change a little with the world around us.” Reading this sentence (and the whole piece) was like taking a long, deep breath.
  • I love Andi’s piece about learning to take up the space and time she needs, even outside the margins of her writing life. Great advice for all of us, especially those whose brains work differently than this world expects them to.
  • I adore Kate Bowler so much. I need this shirt.
  • I agree – The quiet life is the most underrated path to success! 
  • You are officially on notice – This is not only a Mamdani fan account but also an Abdul El-Sayed fan account. I just really appreciate people who listen and get shit done, and I would love to see what El-Sayed could do for our country.

I hope you have a great weekend, friends!

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Friday Five – Good Buys

Posted in Books, Bookshops, Cozy, Friday Five, Fun, Getting It Together, Home, Joy, Resolutions, Work on April 24, 2026| Leave a Comment »

Happy Friday, friends! This week’s post is weirdly shopping heavy, but I’m here for it. I mean, some of the implied shopping is books, so at least that tracks. 

  • Yesterday was Diada de Sant Jordi (Saint George’s Day), otherwise known as Day of Books and Roses. One of my coworkers surprised us with a selection of bookish stickers (“team whoever the villain is” is my favorite), bookmarks, roses, and a book of our choosing from her donation pile. 
  • Excited about Independent Bookstore Day tomorrow. I mean, every day is Independent Bookstore Day to me, and event days are crowded, so I’ll probably skip the festivities at my local shops. But I like the opportunity to celebrate them, even if from afar. I also love Modern Mrs. Darcy’s list of great indie bookstores around the world.
  • I took Montana Happy’s cozy living style quiz. Zero surprise that “whimsical retreat” is my brand of cozy (although I do like a garden, and also a house, not an apartment, is my ideal).
  • My current financial goal is to insert a pause on purchases. I am a quick decision-maker, which is beneficial in literally every facet of my life…except shopping. It urges me to buy things that, if I put just a little more time and thought into it, I might not want in the long run and thus regret buying. So this cute top is on pause right now. I want more spring/summer casual business clothes for work…but also need to reassess if this is one I really love or if it just checks that box (meaning there might be something else I want more). If I still love it in a week, I’ll take the leap.
  • Speaking of things I took off pause…these are the best under-skirt shorts I’ve ever worn. I have only worn them once, but it was on a super mobile day (i.e., I walked around a lot rather than just staying in/near my office, like most days), and they did not budge even a little bit. They’re also lightweight and super soft and low maintenance. I’m going to pause a little before purchasing more – give them a couple more wears to see if it was a one-time thing or if the quality persists after multiple washes – but if they continue to perform as well as they did the other day, Thigh Society can just take all my money. A good undershort is hard to find.

Enjoy your weekend! I hope you get to visit at least one indie bookstore (if that’s your thing)!

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Friday Five – Life and a Love Story

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Bookshops, Food, Friday Five, Getting It Together, Mental Health, Poetry, Wonder on April 10, 2026| Leave a Comment »

What a year this week has been. I haven’t been this happy to see Friday in a minute. And I get to leave early to attend a program at the library this afternoon, so that’s exciting.

Here are some things I enjoyed reading this week:

  • I’m excited to add a life audit from The Good Trade to my goal review process. I’ve decided to incorporate little transition spaces into the year. Advent, for example, begins the church year during the same season the calendar year is finishing. Sounds like a built-in transition space to me. This will also help move my goal-setting into January, which I’ve been considering for the past couple of years. I could really use a soft launch for new/updated goals rather than a sprint in the middle of winter when all I’m supposed to be doing is cuddling up with books and tea. I think I’ll try that out next time and see how it goes.
  • I love this list of recommendations for National Poetry Month from Parnassus Books.
  • I am emerging from my meal planning funk. I’ve cooked a couple of old favorites recently, and I’m trying out some salad recipes that go beyond just greens and dressing. Natalie Gale (via The Good Trade) must have known I was struggling. I am more excited about this list of 99 healthy recipes (divided by dietary lifestyle) than I have been about figuring out what to make for dinner in a long time.
  • This list is very Good Trade heavy this week, and I’m not even sorry. Here’s some good stuff on the importance of cultivating soft skills, especially with AI becoming more prevalent. I especially like the reminder that these are not just things you have or don’t have – they can be learned! As a former communication instructor, I assure you that most people do have to learn these skills. Even those who have natural talent at influence or resilience or conflict management still have to train and practice that talent to get the most out of it. This reminder also helps me be more hopeful about my future, as teaching adjunct may be something I go back to when I retire from full-time work.
  • An otherwise terrifying week has been made a little kinder – a little more “oh yeah, that’s the point of living” – by the Artemis II crew. This is what happens when people who actually know and love the moon go up to see what more we can learn about it. We get a love story. I love that they carried the flag designated for the Apollo 18 mission. I love that they named a crater after a loved one. Before this week, I didn’t know that craters were formed when the moon protected us from space junk. I am happy to know that now. Wishing the crew a safe return home today. Go outside and say hello to Carroll tonight.

I hope you have a good weekend, friends!

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10 More Years!

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Fun, Getting It Together, Lists, Resolutions, tagged , , on December 30, 2025| 3 Comments »

2025. The year I finished up cancer treatments (hopefully) for good. The year my dad had a stroke. The year my Aunt Gale died. The year my friend Des died. The year I bought my first new (not used, not traded with Dad to finish out his payments on the newer model in the family – actually new with 0 miles on the odometer when I took it for a test drive) car.

The year I turned 50. 

The year I celebrated turning 50 with an excessive list of resolutions to accomplish 50 things in several categories:

  • 50 home-cooked meals
  • 50 books bought from indie bookshops
  • 50 small financial goals set and met
  • 50 thousand words written (not counting blogs or any writing I did for my day job – hey, perhaps I should have counted blogs and UNT trainings/memos/manuals!)
  • 50 bucket list items to cross off by the time I’m 60

I enjoyed working toward everything on this list, but I think my favorite part was creating the bucket list. It ranges from small errands like “renew my passport” to big-deal rites of passage like “retire from UNT.” It contains goals about my career, music, writing, finances, and health. It reveals things I want to change about my home and so many things I want to learn. It includes a surprising amount of travel. I had no idea I wanted to go so many places, but looking at the list, I can’t think of anything I’d want to remove. Although admittedly, unless I win the lottery or become otherwise inexplicably wealthy, I probably won’t be able to take all the bigger trips in just 10 years’ time. I guess that leaves me something to look forward to in my 60s!

You’ll see some of these things when I post my 2026 resolutions in a couple of days. As with a couple of the other goals, I ended up with way more than 50 things for the next decade’s to-do list, and I’m hoping to knock out a lot of the small things next year so I can start taking steps to make the longer-term goals happen. At any rate, it gives me a solid picture of how much life I still have to look forward to.

I’m excited to get started!

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My Financial Self – 2025 Goals

Posted in Alive, Books, Core, Feminism, Getting It Together, Hope, Joy, Mental Health, Resolutions, Revolution, Work, tagged , , , , on December 30, 2025| 2 Comments »

Before this year, I was terrified to talk about money.

Don’t get me wrong. I was responsible. I paid my bills. I had an average credit score. And to be clear, it was only merely average because I had a lot of credit card debt and a high credit utilization ratio – i.e., the amount of credit you have vs. use (if you use a lot/max out your cards, your utilization is high). And that happens to be one of the top factors that determine credit score. All my other factors were good to exceptional, even before this year.

But I still hated talking about it. And I still felt guilty about it.

Part of that is that my family is so good at managing money, and I felt bad that I wasn’t better at it.  

A bigger part of it, though, was that I’ve often taken financial literacy courses and read financial literacy books, and most of them come overcast with a large dose of shame that I don’t already know or haven’t been able to do what they’re teaching me. The prevailing message from experts is that if you are struggling, it’s because you suck at money and it’s all your fault. Because the prevailing agenda of most people who have excelled under capitalism is to uphold capitalism as the ideal at all costs. And they can’t do that if they actually admit the system doesn’t work as well as it should for everyone.

But every system has weaknesses. Every. System. *cough*especiallyAmericancapitalism*cough*

Yet that is the system where I live. So this year, I decided to face my fear. I resolved to set and meet 50 small financial goals to point me in a better direction. I met that goal by the end of May and just kept going. By committing to small, incremental changes, I have:

  • Raised my credit score by 40+ points
  • Built an emergency fund
  • Financed a car without a cosigner
  • Had some important financial discussions with my dad that I had been avoiding
  • Stopped feeling guilty about spending according to my values. In fact, I made value spending a whole budget category 

Shameless plug time – I did this with the support of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club. This community was the real MVP when it came to getting past my financial shame and trauma so I could even think about goals. The community is not currently open, but you can get on her email list and get a lot of the same information from the resources on her website and from her book Financial Feminist (which is actually a workbook, so get your own copy or make sure you have a journal handy to write in if you borrow it from the library). 

Another resource I like is Moving Beyond Broke by Dasha Kennedy (aka @thebrokeblackgirl). If you are new to budgeting or new to saving or nervous about saving or need regular encouragement, get this book and follow her account. 

Just as important as the practical goals I met, here are some things I learned this year that I want to pass on:

  • I’m actually really great at managing money. I was good at it before this year, and I’m even better at it now. I’ve had to be, because I have never in my adult life made what was considered a livable wage for my area. And yet, I have lived. I have always had food to eat and a home to live in and managed to pay all my bills (even if sometimes the way I had to do it was credit and then find another little temp odd job to pay it off). Turns out, I can squeeze blood from a turnip.
  • As proud as I am of what I have accomplished, I did not do it alone. I have resources I can reach out to when unexpected things happen, and I have a solid community support system. This is essential. This is non-negotiable. Get yourself in community.
  • So does anyone who is financially successful. If they try to tell you their success is 100% self-made, they are either incredibly lacking in self-awareness or they are flat out lying to you.
  • If you are struggling financially and making less than $50,000 a year in most places (more in places with a high cost of living), I guarantee your struggles are not your fault. You are working your ass off in a system that was not designed for even your survival, much less your success – a system that rewards greed and treachery instead of the actual hard work it claims to reward. Let go of your shame, and get mad instead.
  • You’re probably already mad about it. Focus that mad where it’s deserved – toward the manipulative system and the greedy assholes who blindly uphold it without question – and fight back. This anger has become excellent motivation for me. Every time I want to slack in my goals or spend money on some nonsense that I don’t really want or that doesn’t match my values, I have a little voice in my head that says, “That’s how the oppressors win.” And then I make a better choice. Works like a charm.
  • Greed is rampant in our society, but if you’re actually worried about being too greedy, you’re probably not. In fact, you’re probably settling for way less than your work is worth. And by you, I do mean I. I am settling for less than my work is worth, and the financial goals I’m currently working on are to help me remedy that.
  • When I am struggling, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to find ways to monetize the things I do that bring me joy. It is essential for my mental health and that of my community not to do this. Most things need to remain as gifts to yourself and the world around you. Cultivate generosity and protect it.

Well, that’s more than I planned to share, but hey – I’m clearly less scared of talking about money now. So that’s a win!

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