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Part of why I want my house to be cozy is to make it more welcoming to guests. I used to really love having people over, but I’ve gotten more particular about doing so in recent years. I don’t know that I’ll ever be interested in throwing large parties again, but occasionally I do have people over, or sometimes (rarely, but still), people just pop by.

First – no, thank you, on the just popping by. I’m gonna need you to text first and ask if and when I’m free for you to do so. I’m not a fan of surprises in general, and I want my home to be, as often as possible, the place where only things I enjoy happen. An unexpected visit is not one of those things.

However, as much as I do not want people to show up unannounced at my front door, I’d like the state of my home not to be the reason I hate it. There are so many better reasons to hate such a thing (it’s assuming, it’s inconsiderate, it’s disruptive, etc.). I’d like to go with one of those. I keep house just in case the unmitigated disaster of a surprise guest occurs, so I can at least minimize one of the things that make it terrible.

Second, there is the matter of my upbringing. I was the messy child who could never quite meet the standard set by my mom on how my space should look. I’ve healed enough in this area to say that the expectations I grew up with for how a home should look are the least important reasons for my wanting to keep house, but I would be lying if I claimed they weren’t still a part of my motivation. I’m still working through my desire to meet the expectations of my mother-of-yore (the current version of her does not give a damn, actually, which is upsetting in its own way. It’s just so unlike her. But I digress.). According to the voice in my head that sounds a lot like Joy Terry in her 40s and 50s, there is a way your home should look, especially if you are expecting people over, and I occasionally find myself measuring my home with that yardstick.

Really, though, I prefer a much more relaxed standard. I find that guests feel just as comfortable if my house looks lived in as they would if it looked magazine-ready (Pinterest-ready? Or is that outdated, too?). More to the point, I find that my guests enjoy my company more when I’m not exhausted and stressed from frantically cleaning.

[Aside: This is not a judgment on people who enjoy keeping a more pristine home. I probably love coming to your house. It’s so pretty, and you’re doing a great job.]

Keeping my home generally guest-ready allows me to focus on the aspects of hosting I enjoy more. For example, I love a good menu. I love planning meals and making grocery lists and finding creative ways to work within food budgets and arranging/decorating the table, etc. I do not, however, love having to include in that calculation all the preliminary cleaning I would have to do to make the meal happen.

One of my biggest goals for getting better at keeping house is for it to take me an hour or less to prepare my home for guests. No matter how much notice I have, I want stay ready to be a gracious host.

I’m writing about keeping house during October.

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Today’s Friday Five is a list of my favorite cleaning products (or at least where I get the products I like). I am moderately picky about cleaning products. I have some sensory issues and some allergies, so I need to be a little choosy.

Any product I bring into my house (cleaning or otherwise) has to pass the smell test. If the aroma is too strong (looking at you, Method), I won’t use it because I don’t want it stinking up the whole apartment. And while I try to remember to wear gloves (and by “remember to wear” I do mean “remember to buy”), sometimes it doesn’t happen, so I also need products that don’t irritate my skin.

Here are my top five go-to companies/products for keeping my home clean:

  • Three basic ingredients – white vinegar, baking soda, and salt. I buy these in bulk. I use them in cooking/baking, but as you can see from the links in the previous sentence, they are useful in other ways, too. A sprinkle of salt or baking soda added to the dishcloth gives it a little extra scrubbing power. Baking soda also works as a deodorizer. I buy vinegar by the gallon. I soak my stainless steel utensils in it to help deodorize them before washing. I pour some (half a cup? Cup?) in my rinse cycle when I’m doing laundry. In a pinch, I can combine it in a spray bottle with water and dish soap and make a pretty decent cleaner. These are particularly great to use if you have pets or children, because if they eat them (or, you know, lick the floor after you mop), it’s fine.
  • Magic Eraser – If there is a big job to do, I stock up on Magic Erasers. They can clean just about everything. When I moved into my apartment, the first thing I did after filling out the inventory to report the state of the place was to wipe down all the major surfaces with a Magic Eraser. If you’ve ever lived in an apartment, you know their deep clean isn’t that deep. This little beauty found all the grime it left behind.
  • Norwex – If you haven’t heard of Norwex, I encourage you to look them up (or use the link I gave you to support my friend Brenda). Yes, it’s an MLM company, but the products are solid. I think the first things I tried were the face and body cloths. While I still bathe my body with soap, I haven’t put face wash or anything like it on my face in years, and my skin is so grateful. No face wash (even the allegedly gentle kind) means no irritants. Just a gently exfoliating cloth and water. I use Norwex laundry detergent (and you know I’m picky about that) to clean both my clothes and the washer itself. The product I love almost as much as the laundry detergent, though, is the EnviroCloth. The other day, I scrubbed and scrubbed the stopper in my guest bathroom. Then I remembered I had an EnviroCloth. A couple of swipes (again, with just water) worked wonders. I use one almost every day to wipe down random surfaces.
  • Grove – I like this company for its environmental commitment, but I love it for its soap. Almost all my actual cleaners (dish soap, hand soap, multipurpose cleaner, toilet bowl cleaner, glass cleaner, etc.) are the Grove brand. They offer a scent-free option for some of them, but even when a Grove product is scented, it’s not obnoxiously so. Also, I buy potting soil and sometimes even seeds from Grove (aside from those I pilfer from friends). I also get my toilet paper and the one box of paper towels I buy a year at Grove, too. The pandemic ruined me forever on actually going to a store to buy household supplies, and with as many choices as they offer, I don’t have to. Thanks, Grove!
  • HydroJet – OMG I LOVE MY HYDROJET SO MUCH. I impulse-bought this during a spendy phase, so I was skeptical. After all, not many things that I buy on a whim work out as well as I hope they will. But this is worth the money. Turns out, you can steam-clean most things. I haven’t tried it on my oven yet, but that’s one of the next things in the rotation.

As you can probably tell, I’m not a big fan of harsh chemicals. If something irritates my skin or makes me sneeze, that’s just one more excuse I have for not cleaning. Finding products that are gentle but still work well (bonus points if it takes less effort on my part) helps me keep house more consistently.

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days.

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Today, I am talking about the main tasks that, if done regularly, make me the most satisfied with my home. I already talked about laundry on Sunday, and we will hear a little more about it on Thursday. I started off making these three different posts, but then I realized I don’t really have three days’ worth to say. Also, making one big post let me add a fourth and very important category.

Watering the Plants

There is nothing in my home that screams, “Neglect!” to me more loudly than a droopy or dying plant. Now, sometimes my plants droop just because they’re moody, and I’m not a plant whisperer by any stretch of the imagination (which you can notice if you look closely at the picture above). Even ivy is taking a gamble at being in my home. But most of my plants generally behave and thrive per my expectations if I pay them even the tiniest bit of attention on a regular basis. 

I used to not notice if my plants needed water until they drooped. Now, however, I have a little reminder by putting a goal on Finch that shows up once a week and doesn’t go away until I mark it done. 

Doing the Dishes

I don’t often wish for a partner. I used to yearn, but now, I’m pretty happy overall with my solitary life.

Until it’s time to do the dishes.

When dishes start to pile up, I start to fantasize about getting myself into one of those I-cook-you-clean situations. The main reason I don’t cook as much as I want is because I mentally calculate how many dishes I’d have to clean afterward, and it just doesn’t seem worth it.

This is the chore I’m prone to avoid the most. Unfortunately, it has a great impact on not only how well I feed myself but also how disgusting my home gets. So I’m getting back into the habit of making it a regular ritual. 

I’m not great at it yet, so on days when I work in the kitchen, the guiding principle is: Clean what I use, plus five. That is, clean every dish, utensil, and cooking implement I used that day and then add either five more items or five more minutes to the chore. I’ve been trying to do this at least 10 days a month lately, and my kitchen is slowly becoming manageable again. It’s not really clean yet, but at least I no longer regard walking into it with the absolute dread that I did when it was chaos.

Sweeping the Floors

This chore has become so satisfying to me. It makes such a huge visual difference in a small amount of time. In just 15 minutes, I can pretty much sweep my whole apartment. I try to do this at least once a week.

It’s official day is Saturday, but I find myself doing touch-ups of missed spots throughout the week. This is especially true of the weeks when Saturdays are busy and I end up skipping it. Even when I miss a whole week, though, my floors still look so much better than they did at the beginning of the year.

Cleaning the Bathrooms

This, too, is a once-a-week task. And when I say cleaning the bathrooms, I don’t mean deep cleaning. That is not a regular-ritual conversation. This is just maintenance.

A solid maintenance cleaning for the bathroom involves:

  • Cleaning toilet bowl and sanitizing all toilet surfaces
  • Spraying and wiping down the shower (sometimes twice a week, because my conditioner is slippery)
  • Sweeping and mopping the floor
  • Gathering the trash
  • Putting any loose items back where they belong
  • Wiping down the cabinet and the sink

This process usually takes me about 20 minutes in my primary bathroom and 10 minutes in the guest bathroom. I do each bathroom on its own night, and I clean them on days when I have somewhere else to go in the evening.

This is not a welcome-home–to-stay task. It’s a get-it-done-quickly-because-we-have-places-to-be task.

I come home from work and immediately tackle a bathroom while my brain is still in go mode, on nights when I don’t have time to overthink and talk myself out of it or get distracted by something else. Then I eat a quick dinner and go to whatever I am doing that night (e.g., book club, choir, etc.).

What are some of your regular rituals?

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days.

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“Whatcha doin’?”

“Washing sheets. What are you doin’?”

“Oh, nothin’. Just…” 

That’s how every conversation with my dad on Sunday nights starts.

At first, it was our inside joke. Almost every time I called him, I happened to be doing laundry. Which made sense. When I was a young adult, the time I carved out for laundry was about the only time I was home long enough at a decent hour to make a phone call.

Over the years, it’s become our ritual. 

So when I put my sheets in the washer on Sunday night (as my faithful Finch app reminds me to do), I call my dad.

This week, I’m going to talk about the most frequent chores I do at home that make the biggest difference in keeping it functional (and also presentable, but mostly functional). On Thursday, I’ll share with you another of my favorite books and outline the things I’m picky about when it comes to laundry.

But today, I want to talk about part of why laundry is my favorite of the frequent chores.

There are the practical reasons:

  • It makes mornings easier to not have to search through piles for something to wear.
  • It makes a clear, visible difference to the state of my home.
  • It’s a mostly hands-off chore and thus the easiest chore to stack onto other tasks, making me feel twice as productive.

What cinches it for me are the emotional reasons. 

We lived on a farm while I was growing up, and my dad did farm the land for many years, but his main job for most of my life was owning and running a dry cleaning business. He taught me (almost) everything I know about removing stains, ironing and getting the creases just right, and taking care of clothes so that they last as long as possible. Any alterations or repairs that were needed were done at the shop. One of my first summer jobs was running the front while he ran the washer and the steam press. 

I can still smell the solution used in the machine.

It’s not the career my dad planned when he was younger. He took over the business from his stepfather. He always strives to be good at everything he does and do everything to the best of his ability. I think being trusted to carry on Granddad’s legacy made him really happy. 

Laundry (and being picky about it) is part of that legacy. It might even be my whole family’s favorite chore. 

It was also one of the first clues to my mom that I was even worse off than I’d led her to believe when she came to take care of me for a few weeks in my mid-twenties. There were a few months when I just couldn’t keep anything down and was in constant pain. I knew I needed help, but I didn’t want to ask. She must have heard something wrong in my voice, because she suggested that she come for a visit.

Usually, I would go into a cleaning frenzy if I knew anyone was visiting, but especially my mother, the queen of clean. I couldn’t do it, though. My roommate at the time did her best, but when Mom got there, the first thing she noticed (other than the fact that I was curled in the fetal position on the couch) was the piles of laundry at the foot of my bed. She immediately started a load and spent the next two weeks cleaning, feeding us, driving me to doctors (probably bullying the doctors a little), and making sure the laundry stayed done. 

When my sister had knee surgery, taking over her laundry schedule was one of the things she asked me to do. In that moment, I knew how my dad felt in taking over the shop. It feels good to be entrusted with the things that are important to someone.

Laundry is not just a chore in my family. It’s how we love each other. It’s the yardstick by which we measure how we’re doing.

So before I call Dad every Sunday, I make sure there is the gentle whir of the washer and dryer in the background, letting him know I’m OK.

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days.

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On the remaining Saturdays of the month, I want to talk about why keeping house is important to me. As today is World Mental Health Day, I thought it fitting to talk about how keeping house affects my mental health (and, by extension, the rest of my life).

So what does it matter if my home is in order? If I live alone, and I’m the only one it really affects, why let it affect me?

First, it’s bold to assume that I have complete control over what affects me. Sure, I can make choices about what deserves my attention and think positively. But when clutter reaches a certain level, my brain is pretty much going to remain in a state of low-grade fight-or-flight until it’s fixed. Overstimulation is an attack on my senses, and my body responds accordingly. Keeping house protects my nervous system and, by extension, my peace.

Second, I have often said that I don’t understand when people tell me to get out of my comfort zone because that isn’t really something that exists for me. In most cases, that’s true. There are very few places out in the world where I feel at ease. But more often than not, it’s not true of my home anymore. Since I’ve been paying attention to making my home cozy this year, I’m usually comfortable there, and that is the thing I love most about it. It’s a much-needed break from the tension of being out and about.

I want my home to be the place that feels most like a sanctuary to me. Of all the places in the world, my home should be the place that feels the safest. Again, this is not completely within my control. When I have angry neighbors whose fights I can hear clearly through the walls or my ceiling, my empathy is at peak attention, and my guard is up. But to the extent that I have the power to do so, I can keep my home clean and free of danger.

Even beyond matters of safety, I want my home to be an environment where I experience rest, especially as I get older. So many health problems are exacerbated by too little or poor quality sleep. I’m not a great sleeper to begin with, and it’s not getting any easier as I age. I don’t need any distractions or other barriers to a good night’s rest. Part of making my home cozy and soothing to my senses is getting rid of unnecessary stimuli.

And I don’t want all of this to take an hour to kick in. I don’t want to have to unwind or adjust to my surroundings when I get home. I want to feel relaxed as soon as I walk in the door.

And keeping house helps that happen.

I’m writing about keeping house for 31 days.

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Day 2 of Keeping House is a list of small things that can make my house look like I cleaned a lot.

The main reason that cleaning and tidying get away from me at home is time. There never seems to be enough of it for everything I want to do. On busy days, I just want to come home and stare at the wall. I don’t have the bandwidth for anything else once I’m finally finished for the day. But even at the end of less busy days, I want to spend the energy I have left doing creative things or reading or maybe seeing a friend I haven’t seen in a while.

Housework is often at the bottom of the priority list. After all, I’m usually the only person it affects, and most days, I just don’t care about it nearly as much as my raising would indicate I should. It’s the easiest thing on the to-do list to brush off. After just a little while, though, that brushing off really adds up, and I suddenly and desperately want a quick fix that significantly improves the overall state of my home.

Enter the microtask.

These are things I can do with a short amount of time (10 minutes or less) without using every single scrap of my leftover energy that still make a noticeable difference:

  • Laundry – start a load, move it to the dryer, or even put it away. Any of these smaller tasks can be accomplished in less than 5 minutes (well, maybe a little more on the third step if there’s a lot to be folded, but it’s still relatively quick).
  • Clear off a flat surface. Even big surfaces don’t ever take as long to clear as I think they will. For example, my dining table gets cluttered fast, and I put off clearing it because I think it will take too long (and thus psych myself out). When I actually clear it, though, I’m always surprised by how quickly I can do it.
  • Do a cup sweep. Are there coffee/tea cups lingering throughout the apartment? (Answer: Yes. Perpetually) Move them to the kitchen.
  • Speaking of the kitchen, wash all the dishes in the sink and put them away. What if there aren’t any dishes in the sink, you ask? Then it is truly a miracle day, and the microtask becomes a hearty pat on the back for a job already well done. Thanks, Past Suzanne!
  • Take out the recycling or trash. Somehow, there is always at least one box or bag that needs to go out, or several small bits that I can consolidate into one. 

Completing these microtasks isn’t going to fool anyone into thinking I have my domestic life together. But it does serve two important purposes – they get something done, and they remind me of how easy it is to get something done. 

And that, too, can really add up.

I’m writing about keeping house for the next 31 days. Click here to see the list.

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When I chose cozy for my theme this year, my home was one of the main focal points of that goal. What I quickly discovered is that the cozy elements were already there – the comfy linens, the coffee and tea nook, the fairy lights, a little reading nest in every major room, etc. Unfortunately, they were often hidden behind clutter or overshadowed by household chores waiting to be done.

Before I could have a home that I (or the occasional someone else) could experience as cozy, the issues blocking all my carefully curated comfort zones had to be addressed. I’ve spent a lot of time doing that this year.

This month, I’m talking about keeping house. Not the pristine clean of my childhood, where you could eat off the kitchen floor with no adverse consequences (other than my mother yelling at you not to mess up her clean floor). But a reasonable level of clean. What most people would consider clean. The tidy kind of clean that instantly calms me when I walk through the door.

To be clear, I am not naturally good at this. I’m prone to stacks and piles and items left wherever they landed when I got distracted by another task. I have books and journals not only piled precariously high on the table by my reading chair but also stacked on the arms of the chair itself. I often have dirty coffee and tea mugs scattered everywhere. I have a chair in my bedroom that I usually cannot sit in because it’s full of discarded clothing. I organize files for an hour only to realize that, instead of organizing, what I have actually done is create 4,321 more piles of paper.

Even so, I deserve to have a home that feels cozy and peaceful. Even if keeping house doesn’t come naturally to me, I can still maintain such a home with a few handy tricks and routines.

This is not a do-this-for-a-month series. This is a talk-about-and-plan-it-for-a-month series. This is too daunting a project for me or anyone who identifies with my struggles to be successful in just 31 days. Also, we can’t just do it for a month and call it quits. Unfortunately, no kind of cleaning, tidying, or decluttering is a one-and-done deal. It’s a lifestyle. Apparently. This is an offensive fact about adulthood and physics, and I stay mad about it.

I am writing this series because focusing on cozy this year has worked. I have become a little better at cleaning and tidying this year, and I want to celebrate that a little bit. 

I also want to share the things I’ve learned in case it does not come naturally for you either. There are the things I’ve done throughout the year to reduce the overall clutter in my home and make it a cozier place to live. For the things that seem to have become routines, I will include how often I have to do them to maintain what I originally accomplished. 

While I myself am far from being an expert, there are those whose wisdom on the subject I consume voraciously, and I have several favorites. I find their books, websites, and other resources delightful. It turns out, I absolutely love reading about cleaning and tidying. People who really nerd out about it both fascinate and charm me. I will drop links in posts where their signature advice is mentioned.

Taking care of a home is often seen as fundamental to being a functioning adult. On this particular critierion…I’m alright (most days). I suspect that a lot of people can relate to that. That’s my main target audience for this series. Let’s learn together! 

I also would love for people who are good at keeping a clean, decluttered home pretty consistently to read and chime in. Teach us your ways!

You can subscribe to follow along day by day, or just come back occasionally to this post, which I will update as a table of contents as each day goes live. As with any general, prescriptive advice – take what you need and leave the rest.

[And yes, all the pictures in the series are of my actual home.]

All the posts to date:

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If I were to become suddenly and inexplicably wealthy, a house with a pool might be one of my top five purchases. That’s really the only way to deal with Texas summers.

Other than the oppression of the outdoors, July looks pretty promising. There are some fun things on the horizon – i.e., a couple of live music shows I’m going to, a reading retreat, a few other fun bookish events, and maybe a trip to the farm.

And, of course, rampant reading. After a minor slump, I’ve been finishing books left and right. Hopefully, that will continue this month with the help of these reads.

[Disclaimer – I am a Bookshop.org affiliate – I get a cut of the sales from most of the links below.]

Book Clubs

Anti Brain Rot

Popsugar

  • The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen – A book with “Pop” or “Sugar” in the title
  • The Bright Side Running Club by Josie Lloyd – A book with a character who runs a marathon (I think? Or she just starts running? We will see.)
  • Yes, Yes, Cherries by Mary Otis – A book with any type of fruit on the cover or in the title

52 Book Club

  • In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson – Author’s first and last name start with the same letter
  • Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix – Literary device: personification (maybe – can’t find spoilers to confirm)
  • Shark Heart by Emily Habeck – Inspired by the top-grossing movie the year you were born (Jaws, because of course it was)

Libro.fm

Nowhere

Overeducated Women With Cats

  • Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – A book set in a fully invented world

Bad Bitch Book Club

Read Your Bookshelf 

I hope your July is full of joy and pleasant surprises!

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It’s Friday. We made it. Good job, us!

I sat here for five minutes trying to sum up the things listed below, but my mind is drawing a blank. Little byproduct of the summer seasonal sads, probably. Anyway, here are things:

  • Voted this week. Quick question: Does Mamdani have a friend who is looking to relocate to Texas? I’d like Denton to experience how it feels to have Mamdani as mayor.
  • Every week, I make approximately 2,435 new plans for the plants in and around my home. This week, my favorite daydreams are thrifting small dishes to use as drip plates for pots and making mint ice cream out of the extravagance my plant has produced.
  • Star Trek and its trailblazing ways.
  • I have a Rec League. I love the unabashed sharing of things people love. It’s a nice brain break in the middle of the day.
  • I am very close to finishing my Libro.fm challenge for the year. The prompt that’s holding me up? “Plan or join an audiobook outing.” Because…why would I want to do that. I meant to listen to an audiobook during the last get-together of my local Silent Book Club, but I got overstimulated that day and ended up not going. Maybe I’ll try again. Or maybe I’ll include listening to an audiobook in my car. Technically, that’s an outing, in that it’s outside my home. It doesn’t say it has to be an outing with other people. It’s a stretch, but I may get desperate.

I hope your weekend is fun and relaxing!

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Today is the second round of Transfer Orientation, so work is going to be anything but slow. Perhaps the busyness at work is part of why I have been drawn to snippets and musings about a slow life this week. 

  • I love this daydream about living in Italy (and also a gentle push to maybe put down/throw away the phone and live) from Shawn Smucker.
  • Andi’s snapshot of a slow-living moment made my mouth water. It’s been a while since I enjoyed a perfect omelette. I think I see one in my near future.
  • As it will soon be too hot here to cook over a stove or turn on the oven for a few months, I’m clinging to warm salad season lately. I love a good roasted veggie salad so much, but my willingness to tolerate the heat that roasting adds to my house will evaporate by mid-June. This week, my meal plan includes a spin on German potato salad (warm, with a mustard vinaigrette) and something with sweet potatoes, onions, and cranberries.
  • Speaking of changing weather, I love this piece of advice about being stuck in the transition time between seasons from Tamar Adler – “When you taste the season’s first cherry, then plum, then apricot, let all the time before it open your mind and heart to its miracle. Sit down and describe it. Be stuck until you unstick.”
  • “Dough you want this focaccia recipe from Le Cirque?” Yes, Dorie Greenspan. I really do. I may not make it before summer arrives, but I love a good focaccia.

I hope you get some time to slow down and savor whatever you have going on this weekend. Have a good one!

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