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2026 Resolutions

Posted in Books, Bookshops, Cozy, Denton, Fiction, Fun, Health, Home, Mental Health, Music, Reading Challenges, Resolutions, Run, tagged , , , , on January 3, 2026| Leave a Comment »

I usually post resolutions on New Years Day, but I decided not to rush it. Yesterday was nice. I got to hang out with Sarah and friends, eat some delicious food, and read a little bit. It’s hard to believe that I go back to work in less than 48 hours. Before I do, though, you know I want to share my resolutions for the year with you.

Technically I have seven (large) goals, but all of them are divided into many small steps that help me get there. 

Start Checking Off That 10-Year Bucket List

The bucket list I put together in 2025 ended up with way more than 50 things on it, and some of them are bigger goals that are going to take the whole 10 years to accomplish. Additionally, if I know me (and I do), I won’t stop dreaming up things I want to do, so the list is likely to grow over the next decade. Clearly there are more than five things I’m going to cross off that list this year. 

I’m already going to address some of them in pursuit of my financial and cozy goals (see below), but I’ve identified 11 things off the list that I want to do this year. As I’m currently looking for a new job and/or an additional income stream, the order in which they happen will depend on how fast that comes to pass, as a new job would likely have a different busy season to work around, and some of them cost a little money. But right now, this is roughly the order I’m thinking of starting them:

  • Learn to play the organ
  • Learn to play mahjong
  • Establish a consistent exercise practice
  • Join an online book club (likely MMD)
  • Join the Plot Twist Book Bar dark academia book club
  • Enjoy a personal reading retreat in a hotel with room service
  • Renew my passport
  • Write a score or a song
  • Upload an original recording to Bandcamp
  • Finish a fiction manuscript
  • Take a small town road trip

Read 200 Books

This is…lofty. But I think it’s possible. What I like about this goal is that having it in mind will remind me to give myself regular downtime, which I have a hard time remembering (shocking, I know). I am also attempting quite a few reading challenges throughout the year, and gamifying anything almost always makes it more fun for me.

Establish a Regular Journaling Practice

One thing that keeps me grounded the best is journaling. It not only helps me decompress and slow down my brain before sleep but also improves my awareness of how well I’m taking care of myself in general. 

One thing that I often put off and forget to do is journaling. I am hoping to establish a regular practice. 

Daily is ideal, but any regularity is an improvement that I will consider a success. I’m using the guided journal that accompanies Shonda Rhimes’s Year of Yes. I may decide later in the year I don’t need the prompts but for now the questions provide a good framework.

Have 100 Cozy Moments

I couldn’t figure out how to phrase this one, because it could encompass a lot of things. “Cozy moments” sounds a little woo for me, but it will have to do. 

Basically, I want to be intentional about pursuing my theme for the year. 

This may look like actually noting when moments are cozy or actively seeking them out. It may look like rearranging spaces at home, work, or elsewhere to be more welcoming. It may look like clearing out some clutter to give my brain a rest. There are many different ways this could play out, and I bet I can catalogue at least 100 of them!

Set and meet 100 small financial goals

This sounds like a lot, but it’s fewer than I met last year, so it’s doable. My focus this year (other than increasing income) is on three main things:

  • Mapping out a solid plan for retirement
  • Having a solid purpose for each savings bucket
  • Building a solid knowledge base

The keyword is solid. That’s how I want to feel about my finances at the end of the year (and have the evidence to back the feeling up).

Write 50,000 Words

For real, this time. Something tells me that finishing a fiction manuscript would be an excellent way to make this happen. 

Go on 25 Microadventures

A lot of the items on my 10-year bucket list surprised me. Apparently, I want to go places. Did not know that about myself. I’m not sure if I actually want to go places, or if I think I should want to go places.

Welp, we’re going to test it out this year with 25 small microadventures. I’m defining a microadventure as any outing that takes from an hour up to a day. It can be almost anything. It just has to include a place I’ve never been or something I’ve never done. Bonus points if it’s free. 

I may ask for suggestions later, but I have a pretty good list going already. It might be telling that this is the resolution I’m least excited about, but maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. It doesn’t hurt to try (I hope).

And there you have it. Those are the plans. It looks like a lot, but it’s mostly a continuation of things I’m already working on. It just gives them a little structure.

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10 More Years!

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Fun, Getting It Together, Lists, Resolutions, tagged , , on December 30, 2025| 3 Comments »

2025. The year I finished up cancer treatments (hopefully) for good. The year my dad had a stroke. The year my Aunt Gale died. The year my friend Des died. The year I bought my first new (not used, not traded with Dad to finish out his payments on the newer model in the family – actually new with 0 miles on the odometer when I took it for a test drive) car.

The year I turned 50. 

The year I celebrated turning 50 with an excessive list of resolutions to accomplish 50 things in several categories:

  • 50 home-cooked meals
  • 50 books bought from indie bookshops
  • 50 small financial goals set and met
  • 50 thousand words written (not counting blogs or any writing I did for my day job – hey, perhaps I should have counted blogs and UNT trainings/memos/manuals!)
  • 50 bucket list items to cross off by the time I’m 60

I enjoyed working toward everything on this list, but I think my favorite part was creating the bucket list. It ranges from small errands like “renew my passport” to big-deal rites of passage like “retire from UNT.” It contains goals about my career, music, writing, finances, and health. It reveals things I want to change about my home and so many things I want to learn. It includes a surprising amount of travel. I had no idea I wanted to go so many places, but looking at the list, I can’t think of anything I’d want to remove. Although admittedly, unless I win the lottery or become otherwise inexplicably wealthy, I probably won’t be able to take all the bigger trips in just 10 years’ time. I guess that leaves me something to look forward to in my 60s!

You’ll see some of these things when I post my 2026 resolutions in a couple of days. As with a couple of the other goals, I ended up with way more than 50 things for the next decade’s to-do list, and I’m hoping to knock out a lot of the small things next year so I can start taking steps to make the longer-term goals happen. At any rate, it gives me a solid picture of how much life I still have to look forward to.

I’m excited to get started!

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The Bookshops of 2025

Posted in Books, Bookshops, Fun, Resolutions, Revolution, tagged , , , on December 29, 2025| Leave a Comment »

I cut most of my ties with Amazon last year. I still occasionally have to order something at work from them, and every time I tried to export my Goodreads data to StoryGraph, it crashed it, so I’m still trying to figure out how to make that work without losing that information. But I canceled Audible and Prime, and to celebrate, I wanted to spend 2025 focusing my book shopping on indie bookshops. Since this was the year I turned 50, the goal I set was to buy 50 books from independently owned bookstores. 

That’s a lot of books. Even for me. Yet I prevailed. 

I already knew 24 of them were in the bag, because I get a book a month from each of my subscriptions from Nowhere Bookshop in San Antonio. I had hoped this year to actually visit them in person (and also to see my friend Hope) but then Dad got sick, my reliable car became not so reliable, etc. The final straw that told me this year was not the time was when the weekend I wanted to go the most was the same weekend as UNT Fall Preview. Of course, it was. So I settled for supporting them from afar. But I think 2026 is our year, Nowhere! I can feel it!

Part of my plan was to also hit several of my favorite bookstores I’ve visited before on the way to or from San Antonio:

But while I still ordered a few books from Deep Vellum, actually visiting these places didn’t happen either. 

I also had plans to go to Neighbor Books in McKinney, a relatively new bookshop in their cute downtown area that looks amazing online. But we went on a Monday, and I didn’t think to check if the bookstore would be open then. It wasn’t. Womp, womp.

So where did I go? I’m so glad you asked.

  • The Plot Twist Book Bar – Denton’s romance shop where I rounded out a fairytale retelling series and my Rebel Blue Ranch collection
  • Patchouli Joe’s – a popular Denton indie where I bought several books on my birthday and then ended up later in the year joining their new fantasy book club. 
  • Magic City – took my new car for its first road trip up to Tulsa to see Travis Baldree read from his new book Brigands and Breadknives and then proceeded to buy several more books.
  • Green Feather – a little side quest in Norman on my way home from Magic City. I will definitely be going back, because it was fantastic and also there are other Norman bookshops I want to visit. It’s close enough it could probably even be a day trip.
  • The Larry McMurtry Literary Center (formerly known as Booked Up) – While I missed wandering the whole labyrinth of the building, I still found a couple of treasures and got to talk to one of the folks in charge about what they’re doing with the space. 

With a little re-routing of my original plan, it was still a successful year supporting small businesses and bookish projects. And I got a lot of really great books out of the deal, too!

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Friday Five – Snacks and Books

Posted in Beauty, Books, Feast, Food, Friday Five, Fun, Joy, Reading Challenges, Resolutions, tagged , , , on December 5, 2025| Leave a Comment »

One holiday week (almost) down, four to go. I can do this.

  • I love this perspective in these trying times. Times have been trying before, and they will be trying again. Community is how we make it through. And you know I love a book list. This piece has it all.
  • These are so freaking cute. If I get myself together, they may make an appearance at a holiday party. Or I may take fudge. Fudge is good (and also easy). Or this (but why is it called Jezebel sauce? Good and misunderstood? Bad, but also an understandable and totally acceptable course of action, given the full view of the circumstances? Has it been sacrificed to idols? Did someone die a gruesome death from eating it? I’m so curious.).
  • I’m looking at the reading challenges I want to attempt in the new year, and it’s really gonna be something. Buckle up – my reading life is fully reflecting my internal chaos, and there is no stopping it at this point. This is an interesting one that I’m considering – the Anti Brain Rot Reading Challenge. I really love the way this challenge is organized. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the idea of having a personal curriculum for each season where I double down on a particular topic. And there is a Discord community. This would be an especially good challenge for people who either want to establish a daily reading practice or intentionally read outside their personal experience zone, and who would like social support in doing so. You know what? I say I’m “considering” it, but I think we all know I’m in. I’m so in.
  • I love reading books that friends recommend. When I finish, it’s like an automatic mini-book club. This interview with Kate Mosesso on What Should I Read Next is lovely and charming. Bonus that I particularly like about this podcast – transcript and a book list. 
  • A post no one ever wants to write, but Nadia Bolz-Weber does it beautifully. I’m so glad she’s OK.

Have a great weekend, friends!

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Friday Five – Art and Books

Posted in Books, Bookshops, Coffee Shop Road Trip, Dance, Friday Five, Fun, Home, Music, Poetry, Seasons on November 21, 2025| Leave a Comment »

This week was pretty busy but also really fun.

  • I took Monday and Tuesday off so I could drive to Tulsa to attend Travis Baldree’s book signing for Brigands & Breadknives. He talked about writing, answered questions, and read from Chapter 15. He narrates the audiobooks of this series, and I highly recommend listening to them, because he is a delight. 
  • During this little adventure, I also got to visit two bookstores and a coffee shop I’d never been to before. Magic City Books in Tulsa, Green Feather Books in Norman, and Gray Owl Coffee in Norman.
  • I got to read poems and listen to some great music at Joan of Bark at Rubber Gloves on Wednesday (and also going to be performing on December 13 at the Fest, which you should come see if you’re local or want a reason to travel to Denton)!
  • This is the collab I didn’t know I needed. “No Good Deed” with Cynthia Erivo and Misty Copeland.
  • Simon Sinek interviews Fredrik Backman, and it’s just as lovely as you imagine it would be.

I am very excited about this evening and tomorrow, when I will be catching up on all the taking care of my home that I have been neglecting whilst out gallivanting around. I might even go ahead and put up the tree. ‘Tis (almost) the season!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, friends.

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Sunday Seven

Posted in Books, Epic Meal Planning, Feast, Food, Friday Five, Fun, Getting It Together, Home, Resolutions, Seasons, What I'm Into, tagged , , , on September 21, 2025| 2 Comments »

This week holds more news than Friday Five. This week has been…whew. So I bring you the Sunday Seven.

First, my car has decided it is tired, so I have been shopping around for a new one, and I found it! Soon, a sweet little Nissan Versa will join the family. That’s a fun/nerve-wracking/expensive process, but as soon as the necessary paperwork is finalized, she’s mine!

Second, my friend Shadan, host of our cookbook club, now has a cookbook out! You can purchase Cookbook Club: Plant-Based Recipes for Entertaining by Shadan Kishi Price for your very own!

Here are five other things I read/watched/have been pondering this week:

  • Full co-sign on this article on letting your college kid decorate their own dorm. I have such great memories of working with my freshman roommate and suitemates to curate our own space. We had a collage of pictures in the bathroom that we created from magazines. It was epic and a great conversation piece. Remember that this is the first time a lot of new adults get to make all the decisions about what their home looks like. As a seasoned university housing professional, I beg of you – don’t rob your kids of this experience! Talk to them and follow their lead on how much (if any) help they want (PSA – advice not limited to housing. They’re grown. You did a good job raising them to be adults. Trust yourself and them, and let them do it!).
  • I’m rewatching Scandal these days. It’s one of my comfort shows. If I were still writing fanfiction when Scandal came out, I would have shipped Liv and Mellie so hard. I love Scandal in general, but if I were to list my top ten favorite scenes, their scenes together would make up more than half of them. 
  • Speaking of great TV, I love Somebody Somewhere so much and I love Jeff Hiller so much and I love that he won his first Emmy.
  • I agree with Brigid Misselhorn of MMD. I do enjoy seasonal reading. I usually try to sneak in a few seasonal reads every month. For the record, spooky season (which ranges from cozy fantasy to dark academia to horror) is August through January. I said what I said, and I will not be taking any questions on the matter. 
  • I also have seasonal to-do lists. I like this one from Joy Wilson (aka Joy the Baker). Since I rent, most of the maintenance is done by my property management, so I don’t have to worry about the specific seasonal things homeowners do (one thing off my to-do list – I’ll take it.). These are mostly things I do at the beginning of every season, but there are a few fall-specific things I like to complete each September:
    • Step 4 of my Epic Meal Planning process – Snowed-in Meals. Clean out pantry/fridge/freezer by making as many weird meals as I can with what I have to make room for groceries for the upcoming season (yay soup!).
    • Speaking of soup, chop/bag/freeze several rounds of the trinity (onion, carrots, celery) so that they are ready to go. I also would like to take a page out of JTB’s book and do this with cookie dough. Maybe I will be that person someday. That sounds perfect, especially for cozier months.
    • Clean off tables/surfaces. Piles accumulate so easily in my home, and this is where they land. Right now, I think my efforts have just resulted in different, more organized piles, but over the next few weeks, everything I actually keep will hopefully get to where it belongs.
    • Change my air filter.
    • Clean out closets and assess what needs to be donated/repaired/replaced.
    • Look at this year’s resolutions and assess progress. Tweak as needed. Specifically, start to organize next-ten-years bucket list into categories.
    • Find three fun fall things to enjoy. 
    • Start thinking about holiday plans, including travel, writing, cooking/baking. Looking forward to how my theme of wonder is going to show up this year!

I am looking forward to more fall(ish) weather that we’re supposed to have pretty soon. I hope you have had a good weekend and have a smooth week ahead!

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Friday Five – Yay We Made It

Posted in Alive, Food, Friday Five, Fun, Hope, Mental Health on August 22, 2025| 2 Comments »

Happy Friday, friends. We made it. 

Here are some short reads and happy news that have made things easier for me this week/month.

  • A wonderful gift in my inbox this morning in the Shondaland newsletter – Rachel Simon’s series on moments and characters in TV that make us feel less alone. She’s specifically focusing on Grey’s Anatomy, and I especially like this one, but it would be easy to make the point for so many shows. 
  • I appreciate this article on The Tyranny of Being Reachable so much. I feel this in my bones. “In today’s culture, your responsiveness equals your worth. It’s a proxy for your love, your professionalism, your care.” And a paragraph down from that – “You’re not unreliable. The human brain just wasn’t built for this.” Thank you, Miski Omar from The Guardian. Thank you. 
  • Simplified’s fall collection comes out next week. This includes 2026 planners, and I’m delighted that they brought back the bookbound ones this year!
  • And finally, another thing I’m looking forward to – Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Fall Book Preview. September 18. You know it’s on my calendar.

Tonight we have our Summerween (Summer Halloween, if you will. Halloween is forever.) cookbook club. I made Butterfinger fudge because the colors match the theme, and I made a nice cheat-y recipe. Still delicious. It really is easy to make a passable fudge as long as you have a combo of sugar, milk, fat, and cocoa. Or, in this case, sweetened condensed milk (sugar and milk) and chocolate chips (fat and cocoa). 

I hope you have a great day and restful weekend.

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Friday Five – Finding Hope in a Mad World

Posted in Beauty, Church, Denton, Friday Five, Fun, Getting It Together, Hope, Joy, Lucky, Mental Health, Wonder, Work on June 13, 2025| Leave a Comment »

Happy Friday, folks! June is up and running! We are three down/ten to go with orientation sessions for new students and their parents this week, so it’s been busy at work. And tonight is Pridenton’s Night Out, and my church has a booth, so that’s my Friday night. Luckily, I have a few days off next week to go hang out with my parents, so that’s something to look forward to.

Additionally, this has been a great morning:

  • My sister came to visit at work (she is going on a trip and wanted to take her friends some of UNT’s special coffee blend from Voltage) and we got to have coffee and bagels together.
  • I got some excellent news that is really going to make my financial life easier.
  • I was able to help two students who were struggling/anxious about housing next year get exactly what they need.
  • One of my staff who has been on a tour with the UNT acapella choir is back and I get to hear his stories soon.
  • I get to have lunch on the square with the office folk today.

Here are some things I’ve enjoyed reading in the last few weeks (months? It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these):

  • As a member of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club (shameless plug) (which I originally typed “shameless plum” – I’m so hungry and also I may have just given myself an idea for a children’s book), I have been thinking a lot about value categories when it comes to my budget. These are the things that aren’t needs but that I still make room for in the budget because they bring me joy or enrich my life in some way. When I first joined the community, I had office supplies + stationery + accessories on my list because I love them so much. While I have since begrudgingly admitted that maybe I don’t need a whole budget category for writing implements, gosh, I love a good pencil. 
  • I don’t know if “cozy” and “challenge” would be found together in any sentence I mutter (I lean more toward do-nothing cozy), but this list for summer is nice. Take your dog on a date? Come on, that’s adorable.
  • Joy the Baker’s guide to a joyful summer is more my speed when it comes to summer to-do lists. Gentle suggestions. Things that make life easier/more pleasant. And if you think I’m not looking for that banana malt icebox cake recipe in my inbox every single day, have we even met?
  • Everything about this is powerful and I love it and also I despise that we are living in times where two international students at Harvard singing “There’s a Place for Us” to honor Rita Moreno is especially poignant. I have a lot of feelings.
  • Speaking of things that give me a lot of feelings, OMG YAY.

I hope you have a lovely weekend full of whatever gives you the most peace.

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June 2025 TBR

Posted in Books, Fun, Home, Mental Health, Reading Challenges, Resolutions, Roots, Wonder, tagged , , on June 2, 2025| 2 Comments »

Hello, June. I’m trying hard to get into the spirit of you. It may be easier this year, since I’m spending more time at the farm. I loved June in the Panhandle, growing up. It was almost as good as October. We’ll see if the magic still persists.

Speaking of magic, I have not been great at pursuing my exploration of wonder this year. There are reasons, but I’d still like to do better. After all, the whole point of cultivating a practice of wonder is to have it in place for when things are *gestures broadly* I think I’m going to start Awestruck: 52 Experiments To Find Wonder, Joy, and Meaning in Everyday Life by Alexandra Franzen [inspire/self-help/community care] this month. And continue on with Year of Wonder: Classical Music To Enjoy Day by Day by Clemency Burton-Hill [essays? Daily prompts?], which has been excellent. I also want to read On Thriving by Brandi Sellerz-Jackson [inspire/self-help/community care] early in the month so I can get it back to the library for the people waiting on it. Hopefully, these will inspire me to embrace the wonder in everyday life a little better.

What I have been great at is carving out time every day to read. Here’s hoping June brings even more of that. 

Library

In addition to On Thriving, there are several other books I need to return to the library this month.

Book Clubs

  • Tom Lake by Ann Patchett [general fiction]
  • The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon [mystery/suspense]
  • The Author’s Guide to Murder by Beatriz Williams, Lauren Willig, and Karen White [mystery/suspense] – Rise & Shine is a mystery theme this month!
  • Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune [fantasy/nonrealism] – Follow the Reader’s choose your own adventure with a queer theme for Pride Month
  • Nevada by Imogen Binnie [queer lit] – also an FTR pick

Reading Challenges

Some of my favorite things about summer are the extra reading challenges and an abundance of readathons. Apparently, to many people, summer means more time to read, and that is delightful. Our public library has a challenge that lets you earn free books. As I also make space for Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Guide (the Minimalist List can be found here) by putting as many as my library has ordered on my hold list and eagerly await the possibility of a 52 Book Club summer challenge, I don’t want to neglect the yearly challenges I’m trying to finish. I know I have at least one official readathon coming up in July, but I know I will add more just for kicks, including a mini-retreat this Saturday. There are just too many good books I want to read! And by too many, I do mean never enough and please keep writing more great books, dear authors.

For this month…

52 Book Club:

  • Hurricane Summer by Asha Bromfield – Genre two: set in summer [general YA]
  • The Bodyguard by Katherine Center – A crossover (set in a shared universe) [favorite authors]
  • The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center – Shares universe with previous prompt [favorite authors]
  • Kill Joy by Holly Jackson – A prequel [mystery/suspense]

Libro.fm:

  • Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune – Listen to an audiobook by an LGBTQIA+ author [fantasy/nonrealism]
  • Kingmaker by Sonia Purnell – Read an audiobook about a historical figure and/or event [general nonfiction]
  • Nevada by Imogen Binnie – Listen to an audiobook by a transgender author [queer lit]
  • Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado – Listen to an anthology or short story collection [essays/short stories]

Bad Bitch Book Club:

  • Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy – A book set in the state/region where you live [general YA]
  • The Full Moon Coffee Shop by Mai Mochizuki – A book with astrology as a main plot point [fantasy/magical realism]
  • A bit of catch-up with the books I’ve planned for previous months

Nowhere Book Bingo:

  • All Fours by Miranda July – Book rec from a friend (thanks, Sarah!) [general fiction]
  • The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton – your favorite author’s favorite book – as choosing a favorite author is like asking someone to choose a favorite book (i.e., impossible), this is one of the favorite books of one of my favorite authors (Roxane Gay) [general fiction]

I’ve already plotted out all my intended reads for the Overeducated Women With Cats challenge in previous months. So all that is left to do for that challenge is to finish reading them. Maybe I will have them finished by the end of summer.

Looking forward to my mini-retreat this Saturday. I already had my snacks planned (because priorities), and now I have my TBR ready to go!

Do your reading habits change with the seasons? If so, how?

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Summer To-Not-Do List

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Fun, Getting It Together, Home, Joy, Mental Health, Roots, Work, tagged , , , on May 21, 2025| 2 Comments »

I’ve had the draft document for this post open with nothing but a title for three days. That seems ominous.

Do I even have plans this summer? Or is it just something I have to get through until the weather is nice enough to wear my boots again?

I know why I’m hesitant. It makes sense. Summer is the busiest time at my job, so while everyone else is making plans to go on vacation, have fun outings, embrace all the summer programs that their community has to offer, and just generally live their best lives, I’m going to be super busy most days and, subsequently, too worn out by the time evening comes around to want to do any of those things. 

I’m also checking in on my parents more, which means at least every other weekend will be spent working on things at the farm, hanging out with my new bird friends (see above), and helping Mom and Dad plan and navigate whatever the next phase will bring.

I’m not really looking for more plans. 

In fact, what would make my summer better is to find things to take off my plate. That seems unlikely, though.

I don’t want to suck at my job or abandon my family. I also don’t want to drop off the face of the earth with friends or miss out on the things that bring me the most joy.

But it’s just a lot, and I probably need to use some of that PTO I have stored up.

So my bucket list this summer is more of to-not-do list. And it’s just two things:

  1. Find 5-10 random days to take off. I’m leaning toward 5 right now, but if things start getting nuttier, it’s gonna need to be closer to 10.
  2. DON’T. TELL. ANYONE. As soon as I say, “I’m really looking forward to taking a couple of days off next week,” people like to respond with “Ooh, we could do something!”

    Which is great. Truly. I adore the place of love and excitement that comes from. I’m glad people still want to hang out with me even when I’m not my very best self, which seems to be all the time these days.

    But the moment I start making plans on my day off…I no longer have the day off. Sure, I may get to sleep in or have more leisure time, and I guess that’s better than nothing. But once I make a plan with someone else, that whole day is now centered around making sure I don’t get too involved in a project or task – or even a spontaneous outing, if that’s where the day’s whims take me – that I forget or show up late to the plans I made. And I’m very bad at turning down things that sound fun with people I love simply because I need to rest. While I strive to be better at this, I recognize that I’m not there yet, so I’m removing the temptation altogether by not letting anyone think I’m available when I’m not.

Whew.

Saying I’m not available when I have the day off is uncomfortable for me. I have struggled with being honest about what I need for most of my adult life. Peeling off the people-pleasing layers I clung to during childhood is hard, and this one is particularly thick. 

It’s work worth doing, though.

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