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Day 4 – October TBR

Almost every scenario I can think of that signifies the word lush has books in it somewhere. Either I’m sipping a coffee and reading a book or packing books to take with me on a trip or traveling specifically to one place just so that I can go to a particular bookstore. Or simply carrying a book around with me just in case I get a free moment to tuck into it. As detailed in last year’s 31 Days series, a life without the joy of reading is really no life at all to me. 

Here’s what I am planning for my lush reading life to look like this month.

Book Clubs

I’m talking about books with a lot of people in October (I mean, even more than usual). This month’s list includes my usual 6-7 selections plus some extras because Martha Wells is going to be in town at Patchouli Joe’s mid-month, and also there’s a discussion group about one of last month’s (month before?) book club reads at the same bookshop the next night, so I want to finish it and the next 2-4 (they’re pretty short) in the Murderbot series. I’m also reading a book with our Neurodiversity Professional Network at work. Plus, two different book discussion groups through the public library (my usual one and then another new one that meets at local bars) are talking about psychological thrillers/mysteries this month, and I couldn’t decide which book I wanted to read, so I narrowed it down to two. 

Reading Challenges

The list above is enough to keep me busy, but I’m still intent on finishing most of my reading challenge books this year (stay tuned for more about this later in the month), and there’s Dewey’s readathon coming up later this month, so I’m not daunted by a long reading list for October.

  • POPSUGAR – The way I decided which two thrillers to read for the library discussions was that they both meet certain prompts for this challenge. Strangers on a Train (sorta) meets the prompt of a train, plane, or cruise ship setting, and The Guest List features a party (i.e., a wedding).
  • Book Riot’s Read Harder – a horror novel by a BIPOC author – The Good House by Tananarive Due, and those from last month that I haven’t quite finished yet.
  • GirlXOXO – The keyword I chose is “witch” – A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. 
  • The 52 Book Club – Finally finishing up the book that’s been on my TBR the longest – The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I’m also getting really close to finishing this particular challenge, so that’s exciting.

Just Because

I got excited about these and can’t wait to read them…so I’m not gonna.

What are you reading this month? 

I’m writing (and practicing) the lush life this month.

Day 3 – Lush at Work

Still life at work

Clarification: Regardless of how the title sounds, I do not get sloshed at work. I get sloshed AFTER work, like a damn professional.

The place I spend 40+ hours a week has an inevitably large impact on the lushness of my life. It also, ideally, would fund a life that is periodically decadent and rich. A lot of my revision of the original ideal of what lush looks like in the life I currently have is affected by my job, so I thought I’d take at least one day to mention it. Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way.

Because many places I’ve worked have been big fans of the compliment sandwich [which is a misnomer, because sandwiches are named according to the things inside the bread, not the bread on the outside, which is where the compliments are positioned, and also because sandwiches are good, as opposed to this concept, which is a terrible way to deliver feedback], that is how I’m going to structure this post about work. *places tongue firmly in cheek*

I enjoy certain aspects of my job:

  • The people I work with are awesome. We’re a good team, and we get along well.
  • I have my own space to decorate and do with as I wish (to a reasonable extent – it’s a no on the margarita machine and the hammocks, apparently).
  • Employer-paid health coverage is good. So are university holidays that I get to take off without having to use the PTO I’ve earned (i.e., days we get in addition to our PTO).
  • I like helping students discover that they actually do know what they’re doing and can figure out where to go to get their questions answered. I also like telling them yes as often as possible.
  • I like the looks on the students’ faces when I have to gently remind their parents who dragged them into my office that they’re adults and thus afforded all the rights and responsibilities that go with that. It makes (most of) them so happy. Smug, even. Hold on to that, young friends.
  • I enjoy certain things we do on campus during the year. For example, I’m looking forward to the opportunity to attend the World Mental Health Day conference next Monday. Also, we get free food on a fairly regular basis, so that’s nice.

There are other aspects of the job that are nonsense, though.

There are general labor practices I take issue with, and of course, a large portion of the staff here are grossly underpaid. And save the argument – I don’t care about market value, or debt accrued because someone somewhere who makes more than most of us fucked something up, or politically motivated lawsuits, or that we hope to maybe do something about it next year if all the planets align correctly. I care that our full-time custodians have to have other jobs to make ends meet this month and that our rents that we don’t have the luxury of putting off until Fall 2023, when we are allegedly getting it together and moving people up to what they should already be making today, are rising exponentially but our paychecks are not.

I also don’t think we’re taken very seriously. I guess I can’t speak for everyone. I don’t think I’m taken seriously. I think I’m an afterthought. Even when I say, “This plan is probably not going to work well because of XYZ reasons, so let’s do this much more reasonable thing instead,” that doesn’t seem to have any effect, even though we’ve spent a lot of money and time as a department learning to recognize and hone our strengths, and I think a well-honed connectedness, input, ideation, intellection, strategic person such as I am, probably has the skills to foresee some things. It’s sort of what I do. What I’m best at, if you will.

A lot of the mental health challenges I’ve faced this year are due to a not-great plan that was implemented in the office at the beginning of the summer. I don’t want to go into details here – but my new work environment is bad for me. Yes, I’ve said so. Repeatedly. Broken-record-ly.

I don’t know what to do. I’m looking for other jobs. I’ve even done the math to see if I can expand my side hustle full time (with my current teams, I’d have to write 45-50 hours a week and pray that there are no assignment lulls ever. Not interested in that instability at all.). But most days, I’m having to focus way too hard to put a sentence together to speak intelligently to a customer on the phone by mid-afternoon, and my executive function has plummeted overall, so something has to change, because this is not sustainable.

As promised, here’s the other side of the sandwich. I’ve joined the Neurodiversity Professional Network on campus, and I really like them. I’m tabling with them at a staff event this Friday, and I may do so at the conference on Monday, too. It’s good to learn ways to advocate for each other, and this provides a forum for doing so that extends beyond what even the best session or seminar can teach. Being a part of this group gives me hope that changes and reasonable solutions are possible.

I’m writing about and seeking the lush life I crave this month.

Today, I want to daydream a little. Journey with me, if you will, to what a typical week of lush life would look like to me. Some of these things are already firmly in place in my life; some will have to wait until I retire (at least partially. Eight. More. Years.) and have the time to incorporate them. This life as a whole also requires a somewhat bigger, definitely steadier income (I really just need to make every month what I make in a good month). 

It’s good to have goals.

Overall, the things I think of when I imagine a lush life basically boil down to five elements:

  • Good balance of company and solitude
  • Good food
  • Cozy environments
  • Meaningful work
  • Lots of time for play

So let’s begin.

At no point in a truly lush life will I wake to an alarm. Each day starts with waking up naturally, whenever I am fully rested, as God and nature intended. As a night owl who tries (and perpetually fails) to overcome my natural tendencies in order to make life with a work schedule created by capitalism and sadistic morning people more manageable, I may actually have a ceremony where I dispose of my alarm clock when I retire. 

Even if I’m rested, any activities where I have to be dressed, social, and coherent before noon are just the worst. So my ideal day is one that allows me to ease into it. A French press of coffee and a good breakfast (mmm…veggie omelet with toast…or poached eggs over potatoes) are required. As long as we’re dreaming, I would like to insert the company of a partner who shares both cooking/cleaning duties and my preference for rampant lounging at the start of the day. Alternatively, I am content listening to whatever audiobook I’m reading, show I’m currently bingeing, or background music softly crooning from the record player. The rest of the morning is likely to be spent reading or working on a craft/art project such as knitting or art journaling.

Afternoons are for responsibilities, because no matter how lush my life becomes, someone still has to do laundry (and also I sort of love doing laundry so, by someone, I am happy to mean me). Having said this, I want the luxury of being picky about which work I do and which work I delegate. For example, I am usually pretty good about keeping up with most daily chores, such as washing dishes or tidying, but I fall behind on things like dusting and vacuuming because I can’t just do part of the house and be satisfied, so I find the size of the job overwhelming to the point of inaction. I want to be able to hire someone to do all the chores and errands that I dislike (and thus avoid until they’re really out of control).

Three or four days a week, my main goal for the afternoon is to write. Most of the time will be spent on creative works in progress, but I also want to maintain my current writing job or something like it to keep a steady income. On the off days, I’ll probably spend the non-chore time running errands, which includes frequenting my favorite local coffee shops and bookstores.

I will likely spend most evenings pretty much the same way I do now – book clubs, choir, attending (or performing in) shows and concerts, hanging out with beloved folk, or staying at home to read. Maybe this fabled partner and I go out dancing occasionally. How lovely that would be. Another habit I would like to resume as I mold my life into something more manageable is to have people over for dinner and drinks on a fairly regular basis. It’s a lot of work, as there are several things (many of which are mentioned above) that have to be in place for me to be relaxed enough to enjoy it, but sometimes I miss it.

Of course, there will be exceptions to this general structure. There will be day trips with friends, library book club or church in the mornings on some weekends, and doctor’s appointments that I almost always schedule at the beginning of the day so I can cross them quickly off the list. And at least three times a month, I’m going to need a mental health day in which all scheduling, planned productivity, chores, and socializing go out the window. Just a slow day spent in my favorite comfy pants that I don’t wear in public, enjoying copious amounts of hot tea, books, music, blankets, naps, and maybe a walk. Opportunities for extended rest are important even when I’m living my most charmed life.

There is more to lush living, of course, but this is the basic lifestyle I’d love to have.

I’m writing about lush life this month. Click here to see the whole series (so far).

31 Days of Lush Life

When I chose lush (pardon me…LUSH) as my theme word for this year, I imagined quite a few possible scenarios:

  • Home and patio full of healthy plants
  • Delicious, wholesome (and sometimes decadent) meals
  • Calm, unrushed afternoons spent in coffee shops or bookstores
  • Good cheese, wine, and coffee
  • Regularly designated time to make art
  • Organized nooks throughout the apartment designed to maximize coziness
  • Fun outings with friends and family

It seemed so simple and exciting. But it turns out, there are reasons those things weren’t happening on a regular basis already. 

First of all, these things cost money. Not a lot, for the most part, but still more than I have coming in on the regular. My budget is very basic, and until I get a better job or become inexplicably wealthy, it’s got to stay that way. So one challenge I’ve been tackling is to envision a lush life that doesn’t depend on spending more.

Second, these things take time. Extra time to do more of anything turns into a scarce commodity when you have two jobs and a lot of other responsibilities that (allegedly) come first. I stepped down from a few things I was doing last year, but then I became church council president this year. I am glad to be asked to serve, but it’s been a lot, and I am counting the days until it’s over. In fact, I am working on significantly streamlining how I use the free time I have available. For example, at church, maybe I have fewer weeknight meetings but more engagement on Sunday mornings when I’m already attending the service anyway. At work, maybe I stop volunteering for everything that looks vaguely interesting so I can focus on things I enjoy and not be so overwhelmed all the time (to the small extent that I can control that. More on this later in the month).

Also more breaks. Particularly at and from work. I’m not great at taking breaks.

Third, I forgot to factor in mental health. I set the bar for lush life really high. There’s nothing wrong with high standards, of course. A cozy, tidy home with lots of greenery, comforting homemade meals, large blocks of time to be creative, and also adequate quality time to spend with people I love? Sounds lovely. Wonderful. A fantastic way to live and a grand life to have.

It also sounds like a lot of work. 

I have had some heightened mental health struggles this year that I did not anticipate. Burnout, executive dysfunction, and sensory sensitivity make getting through even the simplest to-do list a challenge some days. And by some, I do mean most. On those days, does lush life look like cooking good meals (and cleaning up afterward) and trying to find scraps of focus/energy to do creative things or hang out with friends? Or does it look like eating a bowl of cereal and calling it a night with a cup of tea and a good book? I know I’m worth the effort it would take to do the former, but I’m also worth the rest I get from doing the latter. Some days, it’s hard to tell which is better.

This month, I’m going to write through more of these thoughts on what I thought lush life would be, what it’s actually turning out to be, and what I think of that. I have some feelings. You’ve been warned.

Day 2 – A Typical Lush Week
Day 3 – Lush at Work
Day 4 – October TBR
Day 5 – Artsy
Day 6 – Lush and Hygge
Days 7 & 8 – A Social Shift
Day 9 – Trips
Day 10 – World Mental Health Day
Day 11 – Community Care
Day 12 – My Ideal Home
Day 13 – Wise Counsel
Day 14 – Nooks
Day 15 – Comfort Crafting
Day 16 – Food
Day 17 – Socializing for Introverts
Day 18 – The Challenges of Reading Challenges
Day 19 – Maintaining a Lush Space
Day 20 – Cozy Office
Day 21 – A Lush Life for All
Day 22 – A Little More Love
Day 23 – A Thousand Words
Day 24 – Sabbatical
Day 25 – Unrestricted Sabbatical
Day 26 – Moving On
Day 27 – In Praise of Subscriptions
Day 28 – Spring and Summer Cozy
Day 29 – Fall and Winter Cozy
Day 30 – Holiday Cozy
Day 31 – Whimsy and Creativity






Surprising Favorite Read

Near the beginning of the year, I checked out a book at the library on someone’s recommendation. It was called Forget Prayers, Bring Cake: A Single Woman’s Guide to Grieving. I kept taking it back and checking it out again rather than just reading it. I was skeptical for three reasons:

  • Cutesy (almost flippant?) title for a discussion on grief? I get that people cope in different ways, but that’s…not mine.
  • Singling out singles is a necessary point of this discussion, and I can confirm that there are challenges with grief that are specific to not having a partner, but gendering it rubs me the wrong way.
  • The cover design is absurd (click the link above if you’re curious). You’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but we all do it, and I judged this one HARD.

I’m so glad I finally read it.

This is the best book I’ve read on the practicalities of dealing with grief and building a support system specifically for the process. It’s the perfect combination of memoir, guide, and comfort. As someone who incorporates tasks into emotional processing (i.e., simply talking or crying it out without a physical energy release often makes the situation worse for me), I appreciate the checklists and suggestions.

As my parents are getting older, we are having more conversations about what they want to happen, how we take over the farm as seamlessly as possible, and how it all gets paid for. Just having the conversations are emotional, and it’s helpful to acknowledge and process those feelings as they come, but it feels weird to future-grieve. This book gave me the validation and permission I didn’t know I needed, and Gerson’s kind-but-direct approach gave it to me in exactly the way I needed it.

I know I usually list five books that I enjoyed from the previous month, but this one stood out so far beyond the rest. This may be my favorite book I’ve read thus far this year.

September TBR

YAY THE -EMBER MONTHS HAVE BEGUN!

This is my favorite third of the year. Soon, it will be sweater and boot weather. Well, not SOON soon – this is Texas, after all – but relatively so. I wore layers today anyway. I will usher in fall through sheer force of will. I already have half my costume ready for Halloween. I. Am. Ready.

This is also about when I start thinking about goals for the upcoming year. My favorite planner is going to launch this month, and I think I already know what my theme word for next year is going to be (Maybe. There are a few contenders, but one has a sizable lead). But before that happens, I have some goals to finish up this year. I’m posting a series about what I’m learning about living a lush life in October, and I really want to finish most of my reading challenges. So here we go!

Book Clubs

A couple of my book clubs are starting spooky season early, and I approve. Actually, a couple of my book clubs lean toward spooky almost perpetually, so really, this is not a big shift.

Reading Challenges

  • Modern Mrs. Darcy’s (Summer) Reading Challenge
  • The 52 Book Club
    • Book with an alternate title – The Golden Compass (or, as it was originally published in the UK, Northern Lights) by Philip Pullman 
    • Author published in more than one genre – I’ve enjoyed her adult novels (romance? Chick lit? Anyway, steamy stories I really enjoyed), and now I’m going to try her YA sci-fi. When the Sky Fell on Splendor by Emily Henry
    • Book longer than 500 pages – The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
    • A book picked based on its spine – The Saturday Book: 26, edited by John Hadfield. See the book next to the bottom of the stack in the picture above, and if you think the spine is something, you should click on the link and see the cover. This may be the acquisition from Booked Up (RIP?) of which I am the proudest. 
    • Job title in title – Weather Girl by Rachel Lynn Solomon
  • Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge
    • An award-winning book from the year I was born – Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
    • The book that’s been on my TBR list the longest (and still is there….even though I meant to read this back in January…) – The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
    • A book whose movie or TV adaptation you’ve seen – Good Omens by Neil Gaiman
    • Winner of the Women’s Prize – The Book of Form and Emptiness by Ruth Ozeki
  • GirlXOXO Keyword Challenge
    • Keyword: Salt – Of Women and Salt by Gabriela Garcia
    • Literally any of the ones I haven’t finished yet from previous months.
  • POPSUGAR Reading Challenge
    • Social horror book – Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon
    • Sapphic book – Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake
    • Book title that starts with the last letter of the last book read (a somewhat difficult category when you read several books at the same time – also possible/probable that I’m overthinking it) – Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (cross-post from Read Harder – starting after The Final Girl Support Group)
    • #booktoc rec – Happy Hour by Marlow Granados
    • Two books set in twin cities – the Tokyo book complementing my earlier NYC read (The Personal Librarian) –  Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

What are you reading this month?

August has flown by in a blur! Here are my five favorite reads from July, and one book that I just couldn’t finish.

  1. All Systems Red by Martha Wells – I LOVE MURDERBOT. I am so grateful to my library book club buddy who recommended this series. They’re short books, so I’ve already finished three of them. If you like sci-fi along the lines of AI, you will probably love Murderbot, too.
  2. Finlay Donovan Is Killing It by Elle Cosimano – So funny. I really liked the main character, and I’m looking forward to the next in the series. I linked to the print copy, but I listened to this one on audio, which was excellent.
  3. The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking – That settles it. I just need to move to Denmark. This book links cozy living (just one part of the Danish practice of hygge) with happiness. I suppose if anyone knows a thing or two about how to live a happy life, it would be the CEO of the Happiness Research Institute. A very charming book.
  4. Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood – Did you really have any doubt that, when I said I was reading a book by Margaret Atwood, it would be on this list? My library book club’s theme for August was climate/environmental fiction, and this is the first of a dystopian trilogy that fits that genre. It’s so well-written, and the story really held my attention. I’m about to start the second one soon.
  5. Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes – This book took me the whole month to read. Usually, when that happens, it’s because I am having a hard time slogging through. But in this case, I took my time because I just wanted to savor it. While the movie focuses mainly on the main character’s love life, this memoir is a love letter to Italy and the life (and house) she and her partner built there. When I’m through moving to Denmark, a villa in Italy is up next.

And now for the one that I could not finish. I love a story with a bookish theme. Usually. And Kate Bromley is a good writer. But Talk Bookish to Me started questionably and just got worse. I only made it about 50 pages in before I couldn’t take it anymore. The main character seems nice enough. She’s a well-meaning doormat. While I find this personality characteristic a bit frustrating, I can usually handle it, because they are usually surrounded by other characters who are actually decent people who want the best for them and thus help them realize their worth and grow a backbone and live both happily and confidently ever after by the end. Not this one. Her bestie is an AWFUL friend. Just the worst. Slight spoiler, but for the record, if I ever tell any of you of someone who acted shadily, lied to me, and broke my heart, the correct response when he is suddenly and surprisingly back in my life is NOT to look for ways to throw us together so that he can DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. I didn’t like this guy from the start and, after reading online spoilers (once I had flung it to the ground one too many times to want to pick it up again), it sounds like my initial impression was correct. Only read this book if you like stories where dishonest, manipulative tools get everything they want.

Any books you liked (or really disliked) this month?

August TBR

Last month’s reading plan got a little off the rails. Some of the library selections that I’ve been waiting on for a while became available, so I jumped at the chance to read them and get them back for the next person waiting in line. 

I’ve started this month with a few books I am finishing from July (The Lonely City, The Maid – which is really for book club this month anyway – and A Field Guide to Getting Lost), but then I’m diving right into this list. As I’ve been transferring my massive TBR to a spreadsheet, I realized I needed a whole tab that’s just various series I am reading/want to read. I read something on it every month anyway, so I’m just adding it as a section here this time.

This month comes with a lot of audio selections, too. August is typically a busy month at both jobs, leaving less time at home to wind down enough to sit still and read, so audio will be helpful. Also, I’m visiting my parents later in the month, so I’ll have several hours of listening time in the car.

Book Clubs

Reading Challenges

Series

Lush

Still summer. Still hot. You know what’s fun to do in the summer that I always forget to add to my summer bucket list? Read. Especially when the alternative is leaving home to do literally anything else. So I’m going to bask in the last books in Ali Smith’s seasons collection and a book about more books I will inevitably need to read.

Excellent. Now all I have to do is finish a book a day. That’s doable, right?

I’m cheating this month. I refuse to narrow down my choices to five. One might argue that it’s my own rule and I can break it or change it however I like, and that’s what I’m doing. Instead of choosing just five of the books I read last month to gush over, I’m going to gush over three books separately and then talk about the five favorites from a particular genre.

Agatha of Little Neon was Follow the Reader’s selection last month. The main character is a nun (sister? The distinction was made in the book, and I think she’s a sister, not a nun. I was that day years old when I learned this.), and the overall theme was friendship and its quirks. It was easy to relate to her, especially those moments when she felt like part of the group but also an outsider. My favorite line from the book was “It’s my belief that many men sleep too soundly at night.” Same, Agatha.

I gave Mrs. ‘Arris Goes to Paris five stars on Goodreads. I was utterly charmed by this book. I’m a sucker for good, character-driven stories. It was quirky and witty and a delight to read.

Of course, I want to listen to Viola Davis narrate her memoir Finding Me. I would listen to Viola Davis read a grocery receipt. This book broke my heart and made me cheer. Parts of it are hard, but she’s a fantastic storyteller. Highly recommend.

Summer is the time for beach reads, which for me can mean anything from foodie fiction or books about books that I can imagine myself finishing in a few hours while drinking a mai tai and listening to the waves to a story that actually has the beach as a setting. In other words, my definition is fluid at best. They usually include a little bit of romance and/or sex, and they typically have happy endings (but not always). These were the five summer/beach reads that I really enjoyed last month:

  1. By the Book – This story has two things going for it right off the bat. Jasmine Guillory, so you know it’s going to be good, and it’s a Beauty and the Beast retelling that focuses on story crafting. Adore.
  2. Book Lovers – Um, if Emily Henry writes steam this well in every book, let me go read all of them right now. This one is also about the book industry, and it was fantastic.
  3. The Love Hypothesis – Olive is me (socially, at least). Now all I need is to plot a fake relationship with an attractive, available, brilliant guy so that he can go ahead and fall in love with me.
  4. Instructions for Dancing – A meet-cute through ballroom dancing? Yes, please. Also, fair warning and generically spoilery – per her usual, Nicola Yoon will rip your heart right out with this one.
  5. Meet Cute – This book makes me want to work on my own collection of short stories that I’ve started (or…one of the three that I’ve started…). I really loved most of these selections and found a couple of new-to-me authors whose work I’d like to explore.

Tell me the one (or eight) books you’ve really loved recently.

July TBR

Welp. Definitely summer. July is here, and I want nothing more than to stay inside and not be out in all that nonsense. It’s a good thing I have plenty to read.

There are a lot of books this month, but some I have started already and many of them are pretty short, so hope springs eternal. 

Book Clubs

Reading Challenges

Lush

The selections this month focus on finding lush moments in daily life. They’re also research for my 31 Days series coming in October (specific topic TBA).

La Dolce Vita Weekend(s)

Speaking of living lush, I have a stockpile of books from multiple genres about the sweet life in Italy. I’m going to take at least one weekend this month to binge and cook out of them. Right now, I’m planning on that weekend being July 22-23, as I will be participating in Dewey’s Reverse Readathon that Friday and Saturday, but don’t be surprised if I block off the weekends before and after it as well. After a trip to our new-ish Italian market, first, of course.

General

These are a few just-because books I’ve been wanting to read for a few months, so here we go.