After a winter storm last weekend that expanded into icy conditions pretty much all week here, I have spent a lot of time working from home. Grateful to have a reliable setup to do so. Here are five things on my mind this Friday.
This is a succinct summary of the national shutdown/general strike happening today. It can also serve as a reminder that these actions can be effective at any time, so today is not the only good day for these actions.
Well, friends. The day has come. My last day of working for UNT Housing. From my start as a night desk clerk to the leader of our amazing tour team, it’s been a little over 20 years of meeting loads of people I love and helping students feel at home on campus. I’m excited about my new adventure as an academic advisor, though!
Here are some lovely things that have given me much-needed pauses as I plowed through the to-do list of things to make next week easier for the staff.
I love this poem by Rudy Franciso. I love the “Amen” chorus from the audience, too. “It’s hard being alive, but it looks so good on you.”
I miss Let It Be Sunday, but I love the new Joy the Baker monthly series, The Bakehouse Almanac. I think I shall subscribe to a new analog magazine (for free through my AARP, of course. Because I’m old enough to qualify for AARP, and I have a lot of participation points to burn.)!
I am grateful for this reframe of “This Will Be My Year” from Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes. Regardless of what happens to me and in the world, did I do my best? Did I take care of myself? Did I take care of my relationships (or, in the case of 2024, did they take exceptionally good care of me)? Did I experience joy? In that light, yes. 2020, 2024, 2025 – each of these has indeed been my year, and I expect that 2026 will be as well. There will be lots of opportunities to practice those four things.
There is hope for Patchouli Joe’s! They have a GoFundMe to raise money to transition to a new location. Please donate to help if you can.
I love The Residence so much. I wish it had gotten renewed. It was worth every dollar of production costs, and Netflix is a fool. I’m glad these actors are getting recognition for their great work.
The coziest (and the best) way to ring in the new year? Snacks, wine, comfort of my own home.
I love the Montana Happy newsletter. It’s always full of cozy crafts, recipes, and tips. It’s a much-needed shelter in the storm of the world. In exploring cozy as a theme this year, I am working my way through this list of prompts.
Hygge prompt #1 – What advice would you give your younger self with your current knowledge if given a time machine? What changes would you make?
Not that my younger self would have listened…but here goes.
That interdisciplinary major you’re considering during grad school (the one that would give you a foot in the door to library science)? DO IT. You can still teach public speaking and work night desk and be an assignment coordinator. These will be the jobs that give you the best stories and where you will meet some of your favorite people. But it would also be nice to have some sweet librarian training in your back pocket when you’re ready to branch out.
Don’t stop dancing and running. It’s hard to get that momentum back after you lose it, and you will miss it when it’s gone.
Ditto re: playing piano and French horn.
Don’t sell your French horn. Maybe stick with a digital piano/full-sized keyboard instead of the upright grand, though. That was…a lot.
The pavement on Fry Street is dangerously uneven. Tread cautiously. Your left knee, in particular, will thank you. Also, maybe don’t drink the WHOLE beer tower. Just a thought.
In fact, go ahead and slow down on the drinking in general. One or two glasses of wine at a time is fine, and it is definitely less expensive. If you need to be buzzed to feel comfortable at a place, just leave the place. You could be home and reading.
We still love home and reading.
You don’t want to live in the downstairs apartment. Having upstairs neighbors is THE WORST.
Look closely for bug problems before you move in. No apartment is cute enough to be worth the hassle of getting rid of an infestation.
Those things that you keep seeing ads for that you think you’d really enjoy having? You won’t. Just keep scrolling. I guarantee there’s a cute cat video coming up, and it’s free.
The cancer diagnosis isn’t the end of the world. You survive, and your friends really come through for you. Go ahead and push for the reconstructive surgery while they have you on the table, though.
When the church you love dissolves, don’t rush into replacing it. Save yourself some religious trauma and take a real break. But keep that weird little liturgical one you visited in the back of your mind. You’re going to love them someday.
I know loneliness sucks. And it will suck for a long time, especially when it seems like everyone around you is pairing off, so buckle up. But don’t waste so much time wanting a partner. Your life is already rich with love, and you will absolutely adore living alone. Once you get there, you will realize that it would take a truly exceptional connection to merit giving that up. Hold out for it.
When you feel like you have to choose between loving others well and wanting to hold them to your own moral code (which, despite everything you’ve been taught, they are not – in any way – obligated to adhere to), choose love. Every time. Your moral code will change as you learn and grow, and you will regret the harm that you did before you knew better. But you will never regret loving extravagantly.
Love extravagantly.
Love yourself. To quote Tova Goodman’s six-word memoir, “Little me would’ve liked big me.”
This was my first week back at work after the break, and it really acted like it. As expected, the ambition of well-rested, cozy, mostly-feral Suzanne has cooled, so I’m trying to find my bearings with all the resolutions I made.
Also, the world is spiraling (and our country bears more than our fair share of blame for that, especially right now. Just…what are we doing. And CAN WE NOT?). ICE needs to stay in their lane (and by “stay in their lane” I do mean “be dismantled”) and held accountable for literally everything they do.
I would not be the least bit surprised if we discovered dragons were real this year. The big, fire-breathing kind – not the small, cute ones we already know about. Given the propensity of people with more money than sense to poke around in the depths of the ocean and other places we would do well to leave alone, it’s a distinct possibility.
Nevertheless, I have managed to find some nice things to share with you. I have a couple of recipes that I tried this week, and some cozy items that might give you a brief respite from *gestures broadly*
So enjoy!
Matthew Bounds’s White Chicken Chili – I’ve never made a recipe of his that I didn’t like, and this is no exception. Most white chicken chili uses heavy cream, but this one thickens with instant potatoes (I used the garlic ones), which makes it the clear frontrunner for me. Anything I can eat without taking a Lactaid (and bonus if it includes potatoes in any form) is superior in my book.
Dan Whalen’s Deviled Pickles – Deviled eggs are not my favorite. Part of my aversion is due to the use of mayonnaise, but mostly I am not a fan of the texture and smell of boiled eggs. Deviled pickles, however? All the delicious things about a deviled egg with none of the things that tend to give me the ick. I used whipped cream cheese and used a plant-based (ergo, non-eggy) mayo in this recipe, leaving the filling mostly just cheese and happiness. I 100% ate the leftover filling with chips. Delightful.
I like these cozy prompts from Montana Happy’s hygge list and will likely turn some of them into posts this year. I’ve already started with the advice to my younger self and my dream house. Stay tuned.
At some point this weekend, I’m going to take down the Christmas tree. Epiphany has arrived. It’s time. Also, I have plans for that corner, and the tree is in the way. But it always makes me a little sad to put it back in storage. As luck would have it, Modern Mrs. Darcy’s “Links I Love” featured this gem from the Nester on making the seasonal transition less gloomy. I think I can conjure up some things with my excess of twinkle lights and jars around the succulents that have come indoors for the winter (assuming winter ever manages to actually get here). Maybe I’ll incorporate them into the plans for that corner.
While one of my favorite local indie bookshops is closing, did you know that over 30 either opened in the past year or will open soon in Texas? That’s good news!
I hope you have a good weekend. I hope you get a much-needed hangout with friends or take a much-needed break from hanging out with people, whatever the case may be. Good wishes for you and yours.
Happy January, friends! As you can deduce from the picture, I’m utilizing my library card a lot these days. Trying to reorganize the shelves to make room for the books I own is a whole cozy project and one of the first on my list to tackle this year. Anything I can do to slow the inflow of new books that need to find a space will help.
To be clear, I’m not…not buying books. Don’t be absurd. Just not buying as many.
Anyway, here are the reading plans this month. I’ve finished a few from this list already, but I’m looking forward to the rest!
Book Clubs
The Most Wonderful Crime of the Year by Ally Carter – I listened to this one on the way to and from the farm at Christmas. So good! Although the male voice on the audio gets low and hard to hear at points. That added some stress I didn’t need in holiday traffic. Delightful otherwise, though.
The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi – This is for the second meeting of the fantasy book club at a local bookshop that has just announced they’re CLOSING!!! Sad times! I guess we’ll see tomorrow what the plan is going forward, if there is one.
I may not be able to attend the Rise & Shine book club this month. The theme is “something old,” so I would love to gush over Wilkie Collins’s The Woman in White, which is one of my faves. Of course, it falls on the one Saturday this month I have to work. And of course, March’s meeting (when the theme is “something funny” – I love funny things and would love to get all those recs!) does, too. UGH.
Series
I’m a sucker for series. I devoured most of the Rebel Blue Ranch series (next up is the enemies-to-lovers one – one of my favorite tropes!) and the Dream Harbor series last month, and the series tab is the largest by far on my TBR. This format is excellent for character development, which is one of my main requirements for really enjoying a book. This year, I’ll be diving into new series as well as re-reading some favorites. I loved Catherine Newman’s Sandwich, so I’m hyped about the follow-up. One of my book clubs is reading The Long Goodbye later this year, so I’m finally starting the Philip Marlow mysteries! I’m re-reading Inspector Gamache this year, and I quit a few pages into the latest Thursday Murder Club because I forgot some things from previous books that I know would make it more enjoyable, so I’m re-reading those as well. Here are the ones that I’m planning for January.
So many reading challenges! My, aren’t we ambitious? I’m going back to fitting books into multiple challenges, and I’m trying to fit as many of my book club selections into them as well, so you’ll see quite a few repeats. Here goes nothing.
Anti Brain Rot Challenge
Harlem Rhapsody by Victoria Christopher Murray – A historical fiction book
The Catch by Yrsa Daley-Ward – A book by a Black author who is alive
The Mighty Red by Louise Erdrich – A book by an indigenous/Native American author
Another facet of the Anti Brain Rot Challenge is giving yourself deep-dive studies (and designing their corresponding curricula) throughout the year. I have three planned for the year, and the first is going to be learning to play the organ. I already play the piano, so it’s mostly a matter of incorporating the feet. I think. We’ll see. I’m working through an online basics course and brushing up on theory right now, but I imagine there will be several books I add to the syllabus before the end of the “semester.”
Popsugar
The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman – A book that features a platonic friendship between a man and a woman
A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson – a kangaroo word on the cover (a word with a synonym/similar word inside it – “history” includes “story”)
Enchantment by Katherine May – A book with a dust jacket
Libro.fm
Christmas Days by Jeannette Winterson – Listen to an audiobook read by the author
OWC (Overeducated Women With Cats)
The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler – A book that starts a series
Endling by Maria Reva – A book long-listed for an award (Booker Prize)
Enchantment by Katherine May – A nonfiction book about science or nature
BBBC (Bad Bitch Book Club)
This Winter by Alice Oseman – A book with a red cover (which is not the cover of the book that popped up on bookshop.org – but here is its red cover, which is super cute)
Alphabet Challenge
The goal of this one is, in this year of ‘26, to read books where either the title or the author’s name begins with each of the 26 letters of the alphabet. To add a little more spice to the challenge, I’m also going to limit it to books I own.
January’s prompt is pretty easy – title includes an article. So any “a,” “an,” or “the.” Look at The Mighty Red by Louise Erdrich, fulfilling all sorts of different prompts this month!
I don’t know how much I’ll participate in this one. The start date of the tournament is March 6, and it seems like it would be more fun if I had read all of them by then (and even in my woozy, ambitious New Years state of mind I know that’s not going to happen). But maybe I’ll start with these and see how it goes.
Before this year, I was terrified to talk about money.
Don’t get me wrong. I was responsible. I paid my bills. I had an average credit score. And to be clear, it was only merely average because I had a lot of credit card debt and a high credit utilization ratio – i.e., the amount of credit you have vs. use (if you use a lot/max out your cards, your utilization is high). And that happens to be one of the top factors that determine credit score. All my other factors were good to exceptional, even before this year.
But I still hated talking about it. And I still felt guilty about it.
Part of that is that my family is so good at managing money, and I felt bad that I wasn’t better at it.
A bigger part of it, though, was that I’ve often taken financial literacy courses and read financial literacy books, and most of them come overcast with a large dose of shame that I don’t already know or haven’t been able to do what they’re teaching me. The prevailing message from experts is that if you are struggling, it’s because you suck at money and it’s all your fault. Because the prevailing agenda of most people who have excelled under capitalism is to uphold capitalism as the ideal at all costs. And they can’t do that if they actually admit the system doesn’t work as well as it should for everyone.
But every system has weaknesses. Every. System. *cough*especiallyAmericancapitalism*cough*
Yet that is the system where I live. So this year, I decided to face my fear. I resolved to set and meet 50 small financial goals to point me in a better direction. I met that goal by the end of May and just kept going. By committing to small, incremental changes, I have:
Raised my credit score by 40+ points
Built an emergency fund
Financed a car without a cosigner
Had some important financial discussions with my dad that I had been avoiding
Stopped feeling guilty about spending according to my values. In fact, I made value spending a whole budget category
Shameless plug time – I did this with the support of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club. This community was the real MVP when it came to getting past my financial shame and trauma so I could even think about goals. The community is not currently open, but you can get on her email list and get a lot of the same information from the resources on her website and from her book Financial Feminist (which is actually a workbook, so get your own copy or make sure you have a journal handy to write in if you borrow it from the library).
Another resource I like is Moving Beyond Broke by Dasha Kennedy (aka @thebrokeblackgirl). If you are new to budgeting or new to saving or nervous about saving or need regular encouragement, get this book and follow her account.
Just as important as the practical goals I met, here are some things I learned this year that I want to pass on:
I’m actually really great at managing money. I was good at it before this year, and I’m even better at it now. I’ve had to be, because I have never in my adult life made what was considered a livable wage for my area. And yet, I have lived. I have always had food to eat and a home to live in and managed to pay all my bills (even if sometimes the way I had to do it was credit and then find another little temp odd job to pay it off). Turns out, I can squeeze blood from a turnip.
As proud as I am of what I have accomplished, I did not do it alone. I have resources I can reach out to when unexpected things happen, and I have a solid community support system. This is essential. This is non-negotiable. Get yourself in community.
So does anyone who is financially successful. If they try to tell you their success is 100% self-made, they are either incredibly lacking in self-awareness or they are flat out lying to you.
If you are struggling financially and making less than $50,000 a year in most places (more in places with a high cost of living), I guarantee your struggles are not your fault. You are working your ass off in a system that was not designed for even your survival, much less your success – a system that rewards greed and treachery instead of the actual hard work it claims to reward. Let go of your shame, and get mad instead.
You’re probably already mad about it. Focus that mad where it’s deserved – toward the manipulative system and the greedy assholes who blindly uphold it without question – and fight back. This anger has become excellent motivation for me. Every time I want to slack in my goals or spend money on some nonsense that I don’t really want or that doesn’t match my values, I have a little voice in my head that says, “That’s how the oppressors win.” And then I make a better choice. Works like a charm.
Greed is rampant in our society, but if you’re actually worried about being too greedy, you’re probably not. In fact, you’re probably settling for way less than your work is worth. And by you, I do mean I. I am settling for less than my work is worth, and the financial goals I’m currently working on are to help me remedy that.
When I am struggling, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to find ways to monetize the things I do that bring me joy. It is essential for my mental health and that of my community not to do this. Most things need to remain as gifts to yourself and the world around you. Cultivate generosity and protect it.
Well, that’s more than I planned to share, but hey – I’m clearly less scared of talking about money now. So that’s a win!
It totally feels like December outside this week! It’s supposed to warm up later, but I don’t care – I’m counting it. It got cold for a minute, and I love it.
December is always a busy month, and this one is no exception. In addition to the added festivities of the holidays, we’re finishing the semester and transitioning to closedown and/or winter housing at work. Thank goodness I have a healthy book list to help me wind down at the end of the day. We’re a few days into the month, so I’ve finished a couple of these already, but I’m looking forward to a good mix of reads to end out the year.
Book Clubs
Two of my in-person book clubs have holiday/planning-the-TBR-for-next-year parties in lieu of reading a specific book together for December, and my library book club held its last meeting of the year this past Saturday, so there are only two meetings that I’m reading for this month.
The Briar Club by Kate Quinn (audio) – so good! It started slowly for me, but once it picked up, it flew by. If you have trouble keeping the characters separate, try the audiobook. The narrator distinguishes the voices well.
Blood Over Bright Haven by M.L. Wang (new-to-me fantasy/sci-fi book club at my local bookstore!)
Holiday Reading
In true December fashion, the name of the game this month is comfort and joy. I still have prompts on my reading challenges left, and I’ll probably continue on those I haven’t finished, because I’m still excited about reading everything I’ve chosen for the prompts. I also have a lot of books I’ve been putting off in order to work on said reading challenges. Not this month, though. Advent may be the season of waiting and anticipation, but I will not be delaying gratification in my reading life.
Unravel Your Year by Susannah Conway – not a book, but one of my favorite rituals each December. The workbook is designed to help you reflect on the year and look forward to the new one. You can knock it all out in an afternoon, but I like to ease my way through it a little at a time each night. Usually with a cup of tea.
Other books that fall under a looking-forward, new-beginnings, new-project, self-improvement/understanding theme to prepare for the new year:
Cookbook Club by Shadan Kishi Price – Reading through my friend’s cookbook! If you get your own copy, you may recognize one of the folks in some of the pictures (i.e., me).
The next books in the Dream Harbor series by Laurie Gilmore:
The Cinnamon Bun Bookstore – I devoured this one in two days. This series is growing on me pretty fast, so I’ll probably finish the next few this month.
And, of course, whatever else I feel like reading at any given time. I have also got some beta reading to do this month. Hopefully, once the semester actually ends and things slow down at work I’ll have the headspace to tackle that for a few evenings.
I hope your week is going well. I hope the weather is just the way you like it. I hope something wonderful happens to you today.
I’m super psyched about next year’s theme word. I have a post planned about it for New Year’s Eve. But I can’t wait that long.
Spoiler – it’s “cozy.”
This isn’t really a new theme or value for me. I leaned pretty far into cozy the year I explored what it meant to be at home in the world. Quiet and cozy went hand in hand. It’s seeped pretty steadily into wonder this year.
And for the past 20 years, I’ve been working in housing, helping people find ways to feel as cozy as possible in their home away from home.
Throughout the year, I’m going to be looking at how I can make my spaces (physical, social, emotional, mental, etc.) cozier. I’ll also excavate some of the more negative aspects of the definition of cozy, particularly when it acts like a verb.
This month, I want to take the time to acknowledge and honor what I’m already doing. I’m not sure if this statement of my intentions will be the only post about it in December, or if I will find more to say. But in the spirit of Advent, I’m paying attention to how coziness is already having an impact on how I interact with the world.
The whimsy of the ever-present office bats who change hats with the season. Sharing baked goods with coworkers and friends. Making this soup just as soon as possible. My nightly tea ritual.
The many choices of ways to get warm should the need arise (it rarely does, but I’m so ready for it).
I was driving back from the parents’ farm on Friday when I meant to post my last Friday Five of November. I was holding off to see if I found a fifth, but I didn’t want these four little snippets of joy to slip through my fingers. I hope you enjoy them!
Advent is upon us so I wanted to share (re-share? I think I’ve shared it before) Tsh Oxenreider’s succinct piece on the why and how of the season.
I finally watched Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris this week, and it is just as lovely and just as charming as the book (even with the H added to ‘Arris). I thought there was no way I would love it as much as the book, but I did. Leslie Manville was perfectly cast and an absolute delight. Now I want to watch the Angela Lansbury version from the 90s.
I supervise a staff of university students, and a frequent question I get when they are about to graduate and go out into the big, bad world is, “How do I make friends as an adult?” Outside of the structure of classes and group projects and student organizations and residence halls, all of which tend to force socialization to some extent (for better or worse), the prospect of being on their own is often daunting, especially for introverts. My answer? Book clubs. Yes, I meet people at church, but some people don’t practice a religion. Yes, I have an art community (with very wide parameters regarding what constitutes art), but that’s not necessarily a widespread phenomenon. Book clubs are easy and more universal. Even if you don’t read a lot, you can usually find a book club that discusses genre (like the ones hosted by our public library). If you can’t find a local club that meets your needs, you can always join one online. You can also start your own and post fliers at the local library (where you can probably also meet for free, if you don’t want to invite people to your house). Options abound, and book people are interesting people who make great friends.
Happy November! These first couple of weeks have been a flurry of jury duty, UNT Fall Preview, interviews, and writing. It’s hard to believe the month is almost half gone already.
It’s the end of an era! The very last Let It Be Sunday from Joy the Baker. I will miss these weekly joyful check-ins, but I know there are more wonders on the horizon.
An international student we know just received funding to continue with her studies here, and then was bitten by a dog and had to have a rabies shot. Please help with the costs if you can.
I always love dark cello playlists, but this has been my jam this week. It’s so soothing. I also like to think it informs those who walk into my office that 1) yes, I would love to help, so come sit around the imaginary fire pit and discuss what you need, but with enough foreboding that they also realize 2) do not fuck around because you will indeed find out.
“You don’t think your way out of burnout. You restore your way out — by rebuilding the energy, safety, and nourishment your body needs to believe again.” I needed to read this piece from The Good Trade today.
I hope you’re having a good month so far. Happy weekend, friends!
M. Suzanne Terry 