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Archive for the ‘Revolution’ Category

This was my first week back at work after the break, and it really acted like it. As expected, the ambition of well-rested, cozy, mostly-feral Suzanne has cooled, so I’m trying to find my bearings with all the resolutions I made. 

Also, the world is spiraling (and our country bears more than our fair share of blame for that, especially right now. Just…what are we doing. And CAN WE NOT?). ICE needs to stay in their lane (and by “stay in their lane” I do mean “be dismantled”) and held accountable for literally everything they do. 

I would not be the least bit surprised if we discovered dragons were real this year. The big, fire-breathing kind – not the small, cute ones we already know about. Given the propensity of people with more money than sense to poke around in the depths of the ocean and other places we would do well to leave alone, it’s a distinct possibility.

Nevertheless, I have managed to find some nice things to share with you. I have a couple of recipes that I tried this week, and some cozy items that might give you a brief respite from *gestures broadly* 

So enjoy!

  • Matthew Bounds’s White Chicken Chili – I’ve never made a recipe of his that I didn’t like, and this is no exception. Most white chicken chili uses heavy cream, but this one thickens with instant potatoes (I used the garlic ones), which makes it the clear frontrunner for me. Anything I can eat without taking a Lactaid (and bonus if it includes potatoes in any form) is superior in my book.
  • Dan Whalen’s Deviled Pickles – Deviled eggs are not my favorite. Part of my aversion is due to the use of mayonnaise, but mostly I am not a fan of the texture and smell of boiled eggs. Deviled pickles, however? All the delicious things about a deviled egg with none of the things that tend to give me the ick. I used whipped cream cheese and used a plant-based (ergo, non-eggy) mayo in this recipe, leaving the filling mostly just cheese and happiness. I 100% ate the leftover filling with chips. Delightful.
  • I like these cozy prompts from Montana Happy’s hygge list and will likely turn some of them into posts this year. I’ve already started with the advice to my younger self and my dream house. Stay tuned.
  • At some point this weekend, I’m going to take down the Christmas tree. Epiphany has arrived. It’s time. Also, I have plans for that corner, and the tree is in the way. But it always makes me a little sad to put it back in storage. As luck would have it, Modern Mrs. Darcy’s “Links I Love” featured this gem from the Nester on making the seasonal transition less gloomy. I think I can conjure up some things with my excess of twinkle lights and jars around the succulents that have come indoors for the winter (assuming winter ever manages to actually get here). Maybe I’ll incorporate them into the plans for that corner.
  • While one of my favorite local indie bookshops is closing, did you know that over 30 either opened in the past year or will open soon in Texas? That’s good news!

I hope you have a good weekend. I hope you get a much-needed hangout with friends or take a much-needed break from hanging out with people, whatever the case may be. Good wishes for you and yours.

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Before this year, I was terrified to talk about money.

Don’t get me wrong. I was responsible. I paid my bills. I had an average credit score. And to be clear, it was only merely average because I had a lot of credit card debt and a high credit utilization ratio – i.e., the amount of credit you have vs. use (if you use a lot/max out your cards, your utilization is high). And that happens to be one of the top factors that determine credit score. All my other factors were good to exceptional, even before this year.

But I still hated talking about it. And I still felt guilty about it.

Part of that is that my family is so good at managing money, and I felt bad that I wasn’t better at it.  

A bigger part of it, though, was that I’ve often taken financial literacy courses and read financial literacy books, and most of them come overcast with a large dose of shame that I don’t already know or haven’t been able to do what they’re teaching me. The prevailing message from experts is that if you are struggling, it’s because you suck at money and it’s all your fault. Because the prevailing agenda of most people who have excelled under capitalism is to uphold capitalism as the ideal at all costs. And they can’t do that if they actually admit the system doesn’t work as well as it should for everyone.

But every system has weaknesses. Every. System. *cough*especiallyAmericancapitalism*cough*

Yet that is the system where I live. So this year, I decided to face my fear. I resolved to set and meet 50 small financial goals to point me in a better direction. I met that goal by the end of May and just kept going. By committing to small, incremental changes, I have:

  • Raised my credit score by 40+ points
  • Built an emergency fund
  • Financed a car without a cosigner
  • Had some important financial discussions with my dad that I had been avoiding
  • Stopped feeling guilty about spending according to my values. In fact, I made value spending a whole budget category 

Shameless plug time – I did this with the support of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club. This community was the real MVP when it came to getting past my financial shame and trauma so I could even think about goals. The community is not currently open, but you can get on her email list and get a lot of the same information from the resources on her website and from her book Financial Feminist (which is actually a workbook, so get your own copy or make sure you have a journal handy to write in if you borrow it from the library). 

Another resource I like is Moving Beyond Broke by Dasha Kennedy (aka @thebrokeblackgirl). If you are new to budgeting or new to saving or nervous about saving or need regular encouragement, get this book and follow her account. 

Just as important as the practical goals I met, here are some things I learned this year that I want to pass on:

  • I’m actually really great at managing money. I was good at it before this year, and I’m even better at it now. I’ve had to be, because I have never in my adult life made what was considered a livable wage for my area. And yet, I have lived. I have always had food to eat and a home to live in and managed to pay all my bills (even if sometimes the way I had to do it was credit and then find another little temp odd job to pay it off). Turns out, I can squeeze blood from a turnip.
  • As proud as I am of what I have accomplished, I did not do it alone. I have resources I can reach out to when unexpected things happen, and I have a solid community support system. This is essential. This is non-negotiable. Get yourself in community.
  • So does anyone who is financially successful. If they try to tell you their success is 100% self-made, they are either incredibly lacking in self-awareness or they are flat out lying to you.
  • If you are struggling financially and making less than $50,000 a year in most places (more in places with a high cost of living), I guarantee your struggles are not your fault. You are working your ass off in a system that was not designed for even your survival, much less your success – a system that rewards greed and treachery instead of the actual hard work it claims to reward. Let go of your shame, and get mad instead.
  • You’re probably already mad about it. Focus that mad where it’s deserved – toward the manipulative system and the greedy assholes who blindly uphold it without question – and fight back. This anger has become excellent motivation for me. Every time I want to slack in my goals or spend money on some nonsense that I don’t really want or that doesn’t match my values, I have a little voice in my head that says, “That’s how the oppressors win.” And then I make a better choice. Works like a charm.
  • Greed is rampant in our society, but if you’re actually worried about being too greedy, you’re probably not. In fact, you’re probably settling for way less than your work is worth. And by you, I do mean I. I am settling for less than my work is worth, and the financial goals I’m currently working on are to help me remedy that.
  • When I am struggling, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to find ways to monetize the things I do that bring me joy. It is essential for my mental health and that of my community not to do this. Most things need to remain as gifts to yourself and the world around you. Cultivate generosity and protect it.

Well, that’s more than I planned to share, but hey – I’m clearly less scared of talking about money now. So that’s a win!

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I cut most of my ties with Amazon last year. I still occasionally have to order something at work from them, and every time I tried to export my Goodreads data to StoryGraph, it crashed it, so I’m still trying to figure out how to make that work without losing that information. But I canceled Audible and Prime, and to celebrate, I wanted to spend 2025 focusing my book shopping on indie bookshops. Since this was the year I turned 50, the goal I set was to buy 50 books from independently owned bookstores. 

That’s a lot of books. Even for me. Yet I prevailed. 

I already knew 24 of them were in the bag, because I get a book a month from each of my subscriptions from Nowhere Bookshop in San Antonio. I had hoped this year to actually visit them in person (and also to see my friend Hope) but then Dad got sick, my reliable car became not so reliable, etc. The final straw that told me this year was not the time was when the weekend I wanted to go the most was the same weekend as UNT Fall Preview. Of course, it was. So I settled for supporting them from afar. But I think 2026 is our year, Nowhere! I can feel it!

Part of my plan was to also hit several of my favorite bookstores I’ve visited before on the way to or from San Antonio:

But while I still ordered a few books from Deep Vellum, actually visiting these places didn’t happen either. 

I also had plans to go to Neighbor Books in McKinney, a relatively new bookshop in their cute downtown area that looks amazing online. But we went on a Monday, and I didn’t think to check if the bookstore would be open then. It wasn’t. Womp, womp.

So where did I go? I’m so glad you asked.

  • The Plot Twist Book Bar – Denton’s romance shop where I rounded out a fairytale retelling series and my Rebel Blue Ranch collection
  • Patchouli Joe’s – a popular Denton indie where I bought several books on my birthday and then ended up later in the year joining their new fantasy book club. 
  • Magic City – took my new car for its first road trip up to Tulsa to see Travis Baldree read from his new book Brigands and Breadknives and then proceeded to buy several more books.
  • Green Feather – a little side quest in Norman on my way home from Magic City. I will definitely be going back, because it was fantastic and also there are other Norman bookshops I want to visit. It’s close enough it could probably even be a day trip.
  • The Larry McMurtry Literary Center (formerly known as Booked Up) – While I missed wandering the whole labyrinth of the building, I still found a couple of treasures and got to talk to one of the folks in charge about what they’re doing with the space. 

With a little re-routing of my original plan, it was still a successful year supporting small businesses and bookish projects. And I got a lot of really great books out of the deal, too!

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Happy Friday! I’m looking forward to some fun friend hangs over the next few days, as I enjoy a long weekend. Otherwise, I’ll be hunkered down with some good books and rewatching Scandal. Good times.

  • I really love Katie Chalcraft’s piece on grief and wonder and dying and relief and loss. 
  • Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower was one of my book clubs’ selections this month. More and more, when I read dystopian fiction (and this book in particular seems less fiction than prediction, which is upsetting), I find myself thinking, “No, thanks.” I’m not sure I’d want to survive. Like, I’d like to think I’d want to. I’d like to think that I would use all these things I know to rough it and get my apocalypse on and rebuild society, but realistically? I’m so tired. I mean, I would do my best and help as much as I could before I shuffled off this mortal coil. But I don’t even particularly enjoy taking walks outside (I mean, it’s alright. Just not my first choice. Even exercising is better inside.). Why would I want to live there, or how committed am I to learning how to build a house (which I would eventually have to do if I ever wanted to not live outside)? And if I had to clean my own water, or do without indoor plumbing or A/C? It’s just so much. If others want to make this grand effort to save the species, that’s fine. I get it. Good for them, I guess. But if most of the people I love are dead and the best I have to hope for is living off the land, it just seems like a lot of work for a life I wouldn’t want. 
  • Speaking of things that are just so much trouble – Your First Date is a Reconnaissance Mission by Jennie Young.
  • I enjoy that this article on why Gen Z loves Gilmore Girls is full of not only unabashed adoration but also common critiques of the show. 
  • I like a good pairing. Cheese and wine. Boots and leggings. Coffee and…anything. I am intrigued by Modern Mrs. Darcy’s recommendations on which nonfiction and fiction books to read in tandem. I ordered Philosophy for Polar Explorers, as The Ministry of Time is on my TBR in a couple of months.

I hope you have a good day and a fun weekend!

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I’m sad today. My friend Des died. He was a gentle, kind person, and the world is worse without him in it. 

So much of my own grief and general sadness processing is so internal that it is a challenge for me to understand those who work these things out socially. Understanding is not necessary for acceptance, though, so I’m leaving this here as a reminder to myself not to isolate too much, for their sakes.

There’s a lot going on otherwise, too. Work and life and the world are all pretty overwhelming right now. 

One of the things I love about reading is that it’s not just a pastime. It’s a comfort, a balm, an inspiration, an excitement, a focus.  

Any month is a good mood-reading month, but reading exactly what I need at the time I need it is especially essential right now. There are a lot on this list, so this will likely extend into September. 

Book Clubs

Talking about books with other people is one of my favorite things.

Recommendations

I love when someone lends me a book they think I’ll like. I automatically feel closer to them when I read it. And then I get to see them and bond over what we liked about it when I give it back to them.

New Books

Ah, the excitement of a new release! I enjoy being among a book’s first readers (even if that group is in the millions). It’s a specific part of the larger global-ish book community that I particularly enjoy. It inspires me to keep working so that I may be able to experience it as an author someday. 

Also, I need to get these back to the library so folks in my larger local-ish book community who have them on hold can read them, too.

Series

When an author develops their characters well (or builds a fascinating world, or tells a great story), I will read (and sometimes re-read) every book in the series. I just can’t get enough.

Romance(ish)

When I need something lighthearted where everything works out in the end or at least a reminder that sometimes things do work out. If we can subvert some tired expectations and/or gender roles, throw some sunshine into a grump’s life, or redeem a villain – even better!

Comfort Reads

A bit of a catch-all category for anything homey, whimsical, charming, cozy, or quirky, these are tea and a warm blanket in book form. The characters are lovable, the storylines are typically low-risk/high-reward, and there is a general sweetness to all of it that is particularly useful when I feel like that sweetness is lacking everywhere else. Or there’s just really good food involved/promised.

Suspense/Mystery/Hardship/Oh My

When I need a reminder that things could always be worse and the stakes could always be higher (and historically/currently are for others). 

Inspiration/Motivation/Reflection

When I don’t just want to be reminded that things could be worse but also want to know more about what I can do about it.

As always, I reserve the right to read every book or no book on this list. Wherever the wind takes me.

Lots of love to you and your people, friends.

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First, in case anyone’s forgotten where I stand on things like welcoming the stranger and protecting the most vulnerable and not making money into an idol by screwing over everyone else to give tax breaks to the least vulnerable (otherwise known as generally following Jesus, not just the shallow husk of a god capitalist Americans have created in their image), there’s nothing beautiful about this bill – call your House representatives today and tell them to vote no and also to feel free to publicly shame their colleagues who are voting in favor of it. Loudly. With pointing.

*deep breath*

Now on to the books.

This month, I’m saying goodbye to Everand (formerly just Scribd). It has changed in the last year, and I’m not enjoying the new way they offer the service. It took me a couple of months to even figure out the new structure, and I still find it clunky.

It sucks a little that, with the cancellation, I’m losing titles that I’ve paid for. But the only unlocked title I still have on it that I am interested in and haven’t finished is Words Are My Matter, and I’m going to end up buying a printed copy of that one anyway. So I let it go. As just another subscription (especially one where the unused unlocks expire at the end of the month with no refund), it’s not something I’m interested in anymore. 

Speaking of lack of interest, I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump lately, which is unusual for me in summer. I think between the worry about my car issues, my budget changes, this country’s nonsense, and my parents’ health, I’ve just been blank and unmotivated in general for anything else. I’m going to carve out a little time this weekend to see if I can find something that holds my scrambled attention span long enough to finish it. 

Maybe something from a previous TBR this year? Maybe a book off my shelves at home that I haven’t read yet? Maybe some of these?

Book clubs:

Other books I’m looking forward to/need to take back to the library:

What are you reading these days?

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I love transitional periods. This fondness makes today one of my favorite days of the year. The short last day of work before the break that starts another transitional period between the year we are finishing and the year ahead. Other than the time surrounding my birthday, this is usually my very favorite week.

It’s also joy season.

I mean, joy is for always. But I am paying particular attention to it these days, trying to find it wherever and whenever I can. I love this piece by Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes where she shares her secret for finding joy, especially this quote: “I cultivate joy as a discipline, attentive to finding it in life’s everyday moments, determined to ride this thing until the wheels fall off. In a death-dealing culture, joy is a form of resistance. I am decidedly oppositional in my joy.”

Seeing joy as resistance to the junk of the world is a nice motivation to pursue it more assertively.

Here are some ways I plan to do that over my break from work:

  • Spending quality time with family and friends
  • Making art (writing, music, baking, crafts, etc.)
  • Reading for long, luxurious stretches of time
  • Cleaning out the parts of my apartment that seem cluttered to make them cozy and functional again
  • Unraveling my year and preparing for the new one

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, friends!

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It’s Friday, everyone. We made it. 

I am anxious about my health, my job, my friends (especially those of us whom the prevailing culture seems to want to annihilate), my country, and the world in general. I am not ok.

This week has been a lot, and it’s Friday.

It’s Friday, and I love you, and here are some things I want you to remember to do.

I hope your weekend is restful, and I hope you get to spend it with people who have your best interests at heart.

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Edited: At the community vigil in Owasso, Nex’s friends confirmed that he used he/him/his pronouns with friends and they/them at home. I have updated this post to reflect how Nex is known among his friends.

It’s been a hard week personally. Long saga, but the gist is the chemo port was successfully placed but they did not put me under during the procedure so I’ve been dealing with the fallout of that trauma (it took a full day and a half of “I’m fine everything’s fine it’s ok” to finally call it trauma, just in time to have a meltdown about it when I had labs done on Wednesday so maybe we journal more consistently and maybe make an actual appointment with the nice therapist soon). But some good news – no spread to the uterus, so that was a huge relief. 

And after the excellent care – physical, emotional, and mental – from the awesome team at Texas Oncology and some much-needed social support from friends over the course of the week, yesterday was much better. But I’m still exhausted.

This is, of course, added to the heartbreak of the ongoing updates on the death of Nex Benedict, the trans student who was murdered by bullies in Oklahoma this month (full disclosure – I have no energy left for diplomacy and I don’t see that changing this year while I’m undergoing cancer treatment, so buckle up – we’re going to be blunt and call things what they are around here for the foreseeable future…and maybe longer if I discover I like it as much as I suspect I will). 

If you are similarly heartbroken, make sure you are taking care of yourself extra this week. If you are trans or nonbinary, I want to tell you what I can never say often enough – your life and your right to just fucking exist in peace are important to me. If you are not heartbroken, do some soul-searching and examine why (I’ve put a few resources below if information will help). I say this especially to people who share my faith, because the God you follow is heartbroken about the horrific treatment and negligence that led to his death, so either return to said God and repent your hard-heartedness or start being honest about what spirit you are actually following, because it’s not a holy one. Also note that sometimes repentance starts with donations (see below). 

  • Information about the incident and also Freedom Oklahoma
  • Background info to familiarize yourself with the hazards and harm nonbinary and trans students often endure:
    • National Library of Medicine (via National Institutes of Health)
    • Another study on heightened risks experienced by this population compared to other adolescents
    • Williams Institute via ULCA School of Law
    • Duke University Press (gosh, I like this method section)
    • Breaking news – basic, adequate medical care is helpful – University of Washington, Department of Epidemiology
    • Not just a problem here (which absolutely does not negate in any way that it is a problem here, so take any what-abouts you may be tempted to entertain and throw them in the garbage where they belong – that it’s also awful elsewhere obviously means there’s more work to do, not less) – JAMA Network
    • The VAWnet project from the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
    • Btw, these sources were found by a Google search of “statistics on trans nonbinary risks” and, when that pulled up mostly .org sites (i.e., usually solid, accurate studies but also often called out for being slanted, as every organization inherently has an agenda simply because it exists to further a certain cause, which naysayers like to point out, forgetting that their own pet organizations also have agendas because that’s what organizations do /rant), I spent a little extra time vetting before adding them to the list. Then I added a second search of “statistics on trans nonbinary risks site:edu” (i.e., typically the most heavily scrutinized studies) to supplement. All of this took ten minutes, so take heart that it’s pretty quick and easy to find more good info if you are looking for it.
    • Search “trans and nonbinary blogs” and you will find a treasure trove of people who are putting their own stories and experiences out there to help people better understand (usually free of charge, which is incredibly generous, given how much emotional labor this level of public vulnerability requires. That being said, it would be appropriate to donate if they have a button or widget installed to do so.). The stats can give you general facts, but these personal sources are the ones that have had the greatest impact on my own empathy and understanding by seeing how navigating the world affects specific people. 
    • If you are reading and you have sources you want to add, please do so in the comments (especially if you want to share your own blog and stories). Sources that sympathize with aggressors or pose arguments that trans/nonbinary or LGBTQIA+ in general are not real identities will be deleted. Those are not valid viewpoints on this issue, and I am not making room in my online space to pretend that they are. No exceptions.
  • I am angry, but I am not angry with you (unless you happen to be a Texas or Oklahoma lawmaker or school board member. In that case, every single one of you is on my list. Do better. Tell your little work friends to do better. Do it now.). Okay, fine. Here’s a little diplomacy. Enjoy.
  • Go Fund Me for the family
  • Advocate for the actual protection of all children and youth, not just the comfort of straight/cisgender ones. Some info on getting started –

It’s been one of those weeks, friends. Take care of yourselves, and I hope you have a good weekend.

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What day even is it? Is this a real Friday? Am I real?

Between starting to talk about how we are going to make the switch between my now-job and my new-job and having two days off in the middle of the week to focus on writing, this week has been an exercise in transition and exception. But it’s been a good one (I think? I’m pretty sure it’s been OK overall. I’m gonna need people to stop shooting into crowds, though, and I’m gonna need changes to the system that would make these rampant shootings less likely. You know, per usual.). We did get free food at work yesterday, and I have had a lot of cherries (cherries are really good right now), so there’s that.

Also, I’ve been reading some things I really enjoyed. Here are some things you might enjoy, too.

  • Breath by James Nestor – This was a fascinating subject. It was a little lighter on the science than I expected, but it was a good read anyway. The author outlined how the way we breathe (as a species) has altered our skeletal structure and may be a big part of the reason so many have respiratory issues. There are also some excellent breathing exercises at the end of the book and even if I’d hated the rest of it, it would have been worth the read for those. 
  • The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie – As expected, a solid introduction to the Poirot character. I forgot how much I like her writing. The ending was predictable, so there was room to grow from her first book in this series, and I’m excited to see how it progresses as I read through the series.
  • “Don’t ask me if I’m free” – I feel this in my bones. I mean, I wouldn’t leave Mom to fend for herself after surgery just so I could brunch with Beyoncé (or any celebrity, to be clear). But otherwise, yes. 
  • Rivermouth by Alejandra Oliva – A memoir from an immigration activist about helping people at the border and a masterpiece on sitting in the various tensions of this issue. My favorite parts of the book were the parts in Spanish that she didn’t translate, the effect of which was to illustrate the frustration of navigating in a language in which I understand the overall gist but am not anywhere close to fluent. Highly recommend – 4.5 stars.
  • This essay on book club fails is a wild ride (well, a book-nerdy wild ride, which admittedly is probably closer to a somewhat spirited saunter for most people). I feel like the writer makes some valid points but also has some expectations that exemplify the rigidity that is often responsible for sending a well-intentioned book club into an early grave. Book clubs, like all social endeavors, have to be able to breathe a little. Yes, the discussion is better if people show up and have read the book. But if you want to build a lasting book club, people have to be able to miss or not finish the book occasionally without it being considered a failure, especially the first few years you are meeting (and I would argue even after that). At my book club that has been meeting the longest, we get excited if most of us have even started the book, and if only a couple of us have finished it, we still talk about other books and enjoy each other’s company (and omg the food – Brenda and our book club can put out quite a spread). And I get the frustration of going to the trouble to make something a priority and putting in the effort to plan one’s own work/life schedule around it only to have the time changed at the last minute. I second that emotion hard.  But even if you do have a regular time when the book club meets every month…sometimes things come up. If the host or most of the members can’t make the regularly scheduled time, it makes sense to be flexible. Talking about books is always ultimately worth whatever effort it takes to make it happen. 

I’m happy the weekend is almost here. I’m spending most of Saturday reading and cleaning and hanging with some people I haven’t seen in a while that night. On Sunday, I get to book club with Follow the Reader, so that will be fun. I hope you have a good weekend, too!

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