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Archive for the ‘Joy’ Category

I’m feeling very festive-song-in-minor-key today. It’s been a good week, but a busy one, and the busy isn’t really over until Sunday at noon-ish. My body is giving me small warning signs, so I figure I have about 5 days before it absolutely crashes unless I get some slow-down soon. Noted. My planner on Sunday afternoon reads “NOTHING NOT A DAMN THING.” So that’s where we’re at.

  • The correct Advent greeting. I love it every time Rev. Joseph Yoo shows up in my feed.
  • If someone rich wants advice on what to do with their money, Bryan Fuller and the cast of Pushing Daisies are ready to give us more antics at the Pie Hole! I NEED SEASON THREE!
  • Busy seasons have me sitting at the keyboard more often than usual. I just play through my theory books or some Bach variations – predictable, methodic, simple. Instrumental and ambient music are great stress relievers, which this piece explores beautifully.
  • Speaking of ambient music, I’m playing in the Joan of Bark Fest tomorrow with Wenepa. It will not be the same without Des, but I know we’ll still make some beautiful sounds together. Come see us if you’re local!
  • The James Garfield Miracle is one of my favorite things that happens every year, and I want y’all to know about it.

And an extra bonus at the end of this busy, busy week. Because The Great Unfuckening is nigh, and I feel like mine is going to be a doozy. My brain is so tired, and my stockpile of fucks-to-give is quickly dwindling.

Next week’s schedule is much calmer. It’s still busy and social – just not every day. There are real pockets of rest on the horizon, and I am excited about that.

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One holiday week (almost) down, four to go. I can do this.

  • I love this perspective in these trying times. Times have been trying before, and they will be trying again. Community is how we make it through. And you know I love a book list. This piece has it all.
  • These are so freaking cute. If I get myself together, they may make an appearance at a holiday party. Or I may take fudge. Fudge is good (and also easy). Or this (but why is it called Jezebel sauce? Good and misunderstood? Bad, but also an understandable and totally acceptable course of action, given the full view of the circumstances? Has it been sacrificed to idols? Did someone die a gruesome death from eating it? I’m so curious.).
  • I’m looking at the reading challenges I want to attempt in the new year, and it’s really gonna be something. Buckle up – my reading life is fully reflecting my internal chaos, and there is no stopping it at this point. This is an interesting one that I’m considering – the Anti Brain Rot Reading Challenge. I really love the way this challenge is organized. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the idea of having a personal curriculum for each season where I double down on a particular topic. And there is a Discord community. This would be an especially good challenge for people who either want to establish a daily reading practice or intentionally read outside their personal experience zone, and who would like social support in doing so. You know what? I say I’m “considering” it, but I think we all know I’m in. I’m so in.
  • I love reading books that friends recommend. When I finish, it’s like an automatic mini-book club. This interview with Kate Mosesso on What Should I Read Next is lovely and charming. Bonus that I particularly like about this podcast – transcript and a book list. 
  • A post no one ever wants to write, but Nadia Bolz-Weber does it beautifully. I’m so glad she’s OK.

Have a great weekend, friends!

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Hello, December

I was driving back from the parents’ farm on Friday when I meant to post my last Friday Five of November. I was holding off to see if I found a fifth, but I didn’t want these four little snippets of joy to slip through my fingers. I hope you enjoy them!

  • Advent is upon us so I wanted to share (re-share? I think I’ve shared it before) Tsh Oxenreider’s succinct piece on the why and how of the season.
  • I finally watched Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris this week, and it is just as lovely and just as charming as the book (even with the H added to ‘Arris). I thought there was no way I would love it as much as the book, but I did. Leslie Manville was perfectly cast and an absolute delight. Now I want to watch the Angela Lansbury version from the 90s.
  • Ethan Hawke on Marilynne Robinson’s Housekeeping – “She was speaking to me in a way that made my soul feel like it mattered.” Same, Ethan Hawke. Marilynne Robinson is a treasure.
  • I supervise a staff of university students, and a frequent question I get when they are about to graduate and go out into the big, bad world is, “How do I make friends as an adult?” Outside of the structure of classes and group projects and student organizations and residence halls, all of which tend to force socialization to some extent (for better or worse), the prospect of being on their own is often daunting, especially for introverts. My answer? Book clubs. Yes, I meet people at church, but some people don’t practice a religion. Yes, I have an art community (with very wide parameters regarding what constitutes art), but that’s not necessarily a widespread phenomenon. Book clubs are easy and more universal. Even if you don’t read a lot, you can usually find a book club that discusses genre (like the ones hosted by our public library). If you can’t find a local club that meets your needs, you can always join one online. You can also start your own and post fliers at the local library (where you can probably also meet for free, if you don’t want to invite people to your house). Options abound, and book people are interesting people who make great friends.

Have a great week, friends! Happy December!

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There’s no way the whole list would fit in one picture. This is one of several stacks. I’m not sad about it.

This November feels weird. There are a lot of changes afoot in my life – some potential, some already in motion. So that’s a big part of it. But it feels like the year should be over already. And also that it just started. I feel like I’m in a weird loop. Time is a construct.

I’m also in the unique position of actually having already completed most of my resolutions for the year. My brain is ready to move on, but there are still two months to go and other resolutions to, well, resolve.

To that end, the November TBR is mostly a continuation of the October theme – a list of books to finish out my reading challenges. I recognize that it’s a bit unhinged in length. However, I have finished a few on the list already (on account-a already having met with two book clubs and also some of these were started as part of the TBR for previous months and I’m just now finishing them up). And my car book is not on this list at all because I’ve been waiting patiently for the audio of Cackle by Rachel Harrison to become available at the library and it finally did. Plus I’m starting off the month re-reading Legends and Lattes and Bookshops and Bonedust because I’m going to a book signing and getting Travis Baldree’s third book in the series – Brigands and Breadknives – this month!

I’m a bit all over the place. And I kinda love it. If my reading life isn’t bursting at the seams, am I even really alive?

Book Clubs

Bad Bitch Book Club Challenge

Overeducated Women With Cats Challenge

52 Book Club

Okay. This is the big one. Buckle up. This will definitely bleed into December.

Whew. That’s a lot.

The good news is that, if I manage to even read half of this list before the end of the year, I will still achieve my overall reading goal of 180 books (and then some). Yippee!

I hope you get to read as many books as you want this month.

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Happy Halloween! This year’s costumes are Winnie the Pooh (featured at book club since I was not feeling well for the actual Halloween party I typically go to), and a version of the Mad Hatter for work today. I hope you are having a fun day!

Some things I enjoyed reading this week (and a bit of last week):

Have a lovely weekend, friends!

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Happy Friday, folks! June is up and running! We are three down/ten to go with orientation sessions for new students and their parents this week, so it’s been busy at work. And tonight is Pridenton’s Night Out, and my church has a booth, so that’s my Friday night. Luckily, I have a few days off next week to go hang out with my parents, so that’s something to look forward to.

Additionally, this has been a great morning:

  • My sister came to visit at work (she is going on a trip and wanted to take her friends some of UNT’s special coffee blend from Voltage) and we got to have coffee and bagels together.
  • I got some excellent news that is really going to make my financial life easier.
  • I was able to help two students who were struggling/anxious about housing next year get exactly what they need.
  • One of my staff who has been on a tour with the UNT acapella choir is back and I get to hear his stories soon.
  • I get to have lunch on the square with the office folk today.

Here are some things I’ve enjoyed reading in the last few weeks (months? It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these):

  • As a member of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club (shameless plug) (which I originally typed “shameless plum” – I’m so hungry and also I may have just given myself an idea for a children’s book), I have been thinking a lot about value categories when it comes to my budget. These are the things that aren’t needs but that I still make room for in the budget because they bring me joy or enrich my life in some way. When I first joined the community, I had office supplies + stationery + accessories on my list because I love them so much. While I have since begrudgingly admitted that maybe I don’t need a whole budget category for writing implements, gosh, I love a good pencil
  • I don’t know if “cozy” and “challenge” would be found together in any sentence I mutter (I lean more toward do-nothing cozy), but this list for summer is nice. Take your dog on a date? Come on, that’s adorable.
  • Joy the Baker’s guide to a joyful summer is more my speed when it comes to summer to-do lists. Gentle suggestions. Things that make life easier/more pleasant. And if you think I’m not looking for that banana malt icebox cake recipe in my inbox every single day, have we even met?
  • Everything about this is powerful and I love it and also I despise that we are living in times where two international students at Harvard singing “There’s a Place for Us” to honor Rita Moreno is especially poignant. I have a lot of feelings.
  • Speaking of things that give me a lot of feelings, OMG YAY.

I hope you have a lovely weekend full of whatever gives you the most peace.

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I’ve had the draft document for this post open with nothing but a title for three days. That seems ominous.

Do I even have plans this summer? Or is it just something I have to get through until the weather is nice enough to wear my boots again?

I know why I’m hesitant. It makes sense. Summer is the busiest time at my job, so while everyone else is making plans to go on vacation, have fun outings, embrace all the summer programs that their community has to offer, and just generally live their best lives, I’m going to be super busy most days and, subsequently, too worn out by the time evening comes around to want to do any of those things. 

I’m also checking in on my parents more, which means at least every other weekend will be spent working on things at the farm, hanging out with my new bird friends (see above), and helping Mom and Dad plan and navigate whatever the next phase will bring.

I’m not really looking for more plans. 

In fact, what would make my summer better is to find things to take off my plate. That seems unlikely, though.

I don’t want to suck at my job or abandon my family. I also don’t want to drop off the face of the earth with friends or miss out on the things that bring me the most joy.

But it’s just a lot, and I probably need to use some of that PTO I have stored up.

So my bucket list this summer is more of to-not-do list. And it’s just two things:

  1. Find 5-10 random days to take off. I’m leaning toward 5 right now, but if things start getting nuttier, it’s gonna need to be closer to 10.
  2. DON’T. TELL. ANYONE. As soon as I say, “I’m really looking forward to taking a couple of days off next week,” people like to respond with “Ooh, we could do something!”

    Which is great. Truly. I adore the place of love and excitement that comes from. I’m glad people still want to hang out with me even when I’m not my very best self, which seems to be all the time these days.

    But the moment I start making plans on my day off…I no longer have the day off. Sure, I may get to sleep in or have more leisure time, and I guess that’s better than nothing. But once I make a plan with someone else, that whole day is now centered around making sure I don’t get too involved in a project or task – or even a spontaneous outing, if that’s where the day’s whims take me – that I forget or show up late to the plans I made. And I’m very bad at turning down things that sound fun with people I love simply because I need to rest. While I strive to be better at this, I recognize that I’m not there yet, so I’m removing the temptation altogether by not letting anyone think I’m available when I’m not.

Whew.

Saying I’m not available when I have the day off is uncomfortable for me. I have struggled with being honest about what I need for most of my adult life. Peeling off the people-pleasing layers I clung to during childhood is hard, and this one is particularly thick. 

It’s work worth doing, though.

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I love transitional periods. This fondness makes today one of my favorite days of the year. The short last day of work before the break that starts another transitional period between the year we are finishing and the year ahead. Other than the time surrounding my birthday, this is usually my very favorite week.

It’s also joy season.

I mean, joy is for always. But I am paying particular attention to it these days, trying to find it wherever and whenever I can. I love this piece by Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes where she shares her secret for finding joy, especially this quote: “I cultivate joy as a discipline, attentive to finding it in life’s everyday moments, determined to ride this thing until the wheels fall off. In a death-dealing culture, joy is a form of resistance. I am decidedly oppositional in my joy.”

Seeing joy as resistance to the junk of the world is a nice motivation to pursue it more assertively.

Here are some ways I plan to do that over my break from work:

  • Spending quality time with family and friends
  • Making art (writing, music, baking, crafts, etc.)
  • Reading for long, luxurious stretches of time
  • Cleaning out the parts of my apartment that seem cluttered to make them cozy and functional again
  • Unraveling my year and preparing for the new one

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, friends!

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“One doesn’t need magic if one knows enough stories.”

“I was delighted to sit in the corner with my food and a book and speak to no one.”

Heather Fawcett, Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries

This past weekend, I participated (loosely) in Dewey’s 24-hour Readathon. The official time was 8 a.m. Saturday to 8 a.m. Sunday (EST). But I (and various others in the Discord and in the Facebook group) rarely actually stick to the time of the event. My goal, for example, was to simply read a collective 24 hours. I think the Dewey’s team is on to us – instead of hourly challenges, they just listed a handful of challenges to complete “at any time during the readathon.”

I completed no challenges.

I didn’t read a full 24 hours.

I barely remembered to post the picture of the stack I was choosing from (see above) on the group’s social media pages.

I carried on with plans to attend my favorite yearly Halloween party and Spiderdead, brazenly cutting into the hours I would usually set aside on readathon weekends to read.

I finished three books, but only one of them is actually in this stack (Fang Fiction – pretty cute!).

What I got out of the readathon was still pretty magical.

I got to tuck into stories about found families and books and several other favorite themes. I ate good, simple food, so I rested better (weird how that happens) and thus felt more refreshed when the weekend was over (despite it being a “busy” one). I embraced my full homebody self without the usual twinge of guilt about what a person who lives alone should want to do on the weekend.

These twinges are getting smaller and less frequent as I age. One reason for this is that I’m accepting who I am more and becoming less apologetic about it with each passing month. Another reason is that I get so much joy and restoration out of my alone time that there is little to no room left for feeling bad about it.

At any rate, I had a great weekend, and I look forward to many more like it as the season changes.

Reading more makes me want to write more. I’m reflecting on my reading this year.

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“My bucket list of little things aims to live every moment as if it’s my first. To find the glory in what a seasoned eye might falsely consider mundane.”
Andrea Gibson, Things That Don’t Suck (Substack)

It has been a long week. Nothing particularly bad has happened. I’ve just felt puny and tired. The weather, however, is gorgeous. It was 52 when I left home. I am wearing a light sweater!

Today, I need a list of things to look forward to this season that aren’t super ambitious but still give me ways to ground myself and remind myself that I’m alive and meant to be living and not just muddling through.

  • Buy a delicious cup of coffee and drink it while browsing a bookstore. Take all the time I want.
  • Take shorter, more frequent walks. Not everything has to be hard all at once. A little bit multiple times a day is better than pushing myself and getting too exhausted to do anything else for hours.
  • Keep my hands warm and nimble with piano and knitting.
  • Make soup without rushing. Pan roast the veggies slowly. Add one ingredient at a time. Fill my home with cozy smells.
  • Take drives. Drive down winding country roads just outside of town and find the few trees in Texas that know what time of year it is. Drive down my favorite streets and let the memories of every time I’ve been there before flow over me.

This is what I want my season to look like.

What are you looking forward to this fall?

Reflecting on reading this month (and hopefully beyond).

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