Here are some short reads and happy news that have made things easier for me this week/month.
I’m so happy Addie Zierman is writing on the internet again – The Notebook Years
A wonderful gift in my inbox this morning in the Shondaland newsletter – Rachel Simon’s series on moments and characters in TV that make us feel less alone. She’s specifically focusing on Grey’s Anatomy, and I especially like this one, but it would be easy to make the point for so many shows.
I appreciate this article on The Tyranny of Being Reachable so much. I feel this in my bones. “In today’s culture, your responsiveness equals your worth. It’s a proxy for your love, your professionalism, your care.” And a paragraph down from that – “You’re not unreliable. The human brain just wasn’t built for this.” Thank you, Miski Omar from The Guardian. Thank you.
Simplified’s fall collection comes out next week. This includes 2026 planners, and I’m delighted that they brought back the bookbound ones this year!
Tonight we have our Summerween (Summer Halloween, if you will. Halloween is forever.) cookbook club. I made Butterfinger fudge because the colors match the theme, and I made a nice cheat-y recipe. Still delicious. It really is easy to make a passable fudge as long as you have a combo of sugar, milk, fat, and cocoa. Or, in this case, sweetened condensed milk (sugar and milk) and chocolate chips (fat and cocoa).
I’m sad today. My friend Des died. He was a gentle, kind person, and the world is worse without him in it.
So much of my own grief and general sadness processing is so internal that it is a challenge for me to understand those who work these things out socially. Understanding is not necessary for acceptance, though, so I’m leaving this here as a reminder to myself not to isolate too much, for their sakes.
There’s a lot going on otherwise, too. Work and life and the world are all pretty overwhelming right now.
One of the things I love about reading is that it’s not just a pastime. It’s a comfort, a balm, an inspiration, an excitement, a focus.
Any month is a good mood-reading month, but reading exactly what I need at the time I need it is especially essential right now. There are a lot on this list, so this will likely extend into September.
Book Clubs
Talking about books with other people is one of my favorite things.
I love when someone lends me a book they think I’ll like. I automatically feel closer to them when I read it. And then I get to see them and bond over what we liked about it when I give it back to them.
Ah, the excitement of a new release! I enjoy being among a book’s first readers (even if that group is in the millions). It’s a specific part of the larger global-ish book community that I particularly enjoy. It inspires me to keep working so that I may be able to experience it as an author someday.
Also, I need to get these back to the library so folks in my larger local-ish book community who have them on hold can read them, too.
When an author develops their characters well (or builds a fascinating world, or tells a great story), I will read (and sometimes re-read) every book in the series. I just can’t get enough.
Still Life by Louise Penny (deluxe edition comes out at the end of September – I may hold out until then to start this series over)
Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas, and since I devoured both the first and second books in this series as well as the collection of five prequel novellas in less than four days last week, I’m going to go ahead and add…
When I need something lighthearted where everything works out in the end or at least a reminder that sometimes things do work out. If we can subvert some tired expectations and/or gender roles, throw some sunshine into a grump’s life, or redeem a villain – even better!
A bit of a catch-all category for anything homey, whimsical, charming, cozy, or quirky, these are tea and a warm blanket in book form. The characters are lovable, the storylines are typically low-risk/high-reward, and there is a general sweetness to all of it that is particularly useful when I feel like that sweetness is lacking everywhere else. Or there’s just really good food involved/promised.
Happy Friday, folks! June is up and running! We are three down/ten to go with orientation sessions for new students and their parents this week, so it’s been busy at work. And tonight is Pridenton’s Night Out, and my church has a booth, so that’s my Friday night. Luckily, I have a few days off next week to go hang out with my parents, so that’s something to look forward to.
Additionally, this has been a great morning:
My sister came to visit at work (she is going on a trip and wanted to take her friends some of UNT’s special coffee blend from Voltage) and we got to have coffee and bagels together.
I got some excellent news that is really going to make my financial life easier.
I was able to help two students who were struggling/anxious about housing next year get exactly what they need.
One of my staff who has been on a tour with the UNT acapella choir is back and I get to hear his stories soon.
I get to have lunch on the square with the office folk today.
Here are some things I’ve enjoyed reading in the last few weeks (months? It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these):
As a member of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club (shameless plug) (which I originally typed “shameless plum” – I’m so hungry and also I may have just given myself an idea for a children’s book), I have been thinking a lot about value categories when it comes to my budget. These are the things that aren’t needs but that I still make room for in the budget because they bring me joy or enrich my life in some way. When I first joined the community, I had office supplies + stationery + accessories on my list because I love them so much. While I have since begrudgingly admitted that maybe I don’t need a whole budget category for writing implements, gosh, I love a good pencil.
I don’t know if “cozy” and “challenge” would be found together in any sentence I mutter (I lean more toward do-nothing cozy), but this list for summer is nice. Take your dog on a date? Come on, that’s adorable.
Joy the Baker’s guide to a joyful summer is more my speed when it comes to summer to-do lists. Gentle suggestions. Things that make life easier/more pleasant. And if you think I’m not looking for that banana malt icebox cake recipe in my inbox every single day, have we even met?
Everything about this is powerful and I love it and also I despise that we are living in times where two international students at Harvard singing “There’s a Place for Us” to honor Rita Moreno is especially poignant. I have a lot of feelings.
Speaking of things that give me a lot of feelings, OMG YAY.
I hope you have a lovely weekend full of whatever gives you the most peace.
Yay, poetry month! There are lots of ways to celebrate National Poetry Month. As usual, I’m going to read a lot of poetry (as well as prose written by poets), and I hope to write some as well during April.
Murder in Williamstown by Kerry Greenwood – title starts with letter “M” [mystery/suspense/etc.]
A Room With a View by E.M. Forster – genre one: set in spring [general fiction]
Persuasion by Jane Austen – in the public domain [ general fiction]
Massacre and Margins by ACF Bookens – author releases more than one book a year [cozy; mystery/suspense/etc.]
Libro.fm Challenge
Catalina by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio – Listen to an audiobook mentioned on the Libro.fm podcast [general fiction]
Murder at Gulls Nest by Jess Kidd – Preorder an audiobook and start it on release day [mystery]
Bad Bitch Book Club
The Housemaid’s Secret by Freida McFadden – an anticipated sequel to a book you loved [mystery] – stayed up past my bedtime reading this in one night. No regrets.
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin – a book that takes place in a library or bookstore [books about books]
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig – give an author a second chance at winning you over [fantasy/magical realism]
Nowhere Book Bingo
When We Were Birds by Ayanna Lloyd Banwo – book that takes place entirely outside of the US [general fiction]
Crush by Ada Calhoun – book with a one-word title [romance-ish]
If I’m going to stay at the same place, this is how I want it to improve.
If I wasn’t careful, this theme would lead me into a world of rabbit holes and contingency plans. I’m not opposed to either of those things, but I’m not sure I’m at a place to take on a whole year of them.
In other words, “if” isn’t quite ringing true for me. I want a word that captures the mystery of “if…” without the ellipses. Without boxing myself into its implied necessary action. I’m not opposed to taking action. I’m just wary of obligation.
So instead of “if” and all its intense expectations, I’m going to dive deep into wonder and all of its questions.
Merriam-Webster has several definitions of wonder that I love:
A cause of astonishment
The quality of exciting amazed admiration
Rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one’s experience
To feel surprise
To feel curiosity or doubt
Marvel
Miracle
Yes, please. All of that. I want a year of being open to mystery. I want a life that leaves room for both curiosity and doubt. I want a year on which I can look back and marvel.
After all, I’m turning 50 this year. I want to be open to big things.
This is one of my favorite days of the year – the day that I make resolutions and set goals for the next 12 months. It seems contrary to the nature of wonder, however, to predetermine what is going to happen the whole year. So I’m going to jot down some wishes – things that might be fun or interesting – with just enough structure to be measurable in case they develop into actual goals but also enough room for interpretation to allow them to evolve or disintegrate as needed, depending on…*gestures broadly*
My wishes for 2025:
To read 180 books (per yesterday’s post).
To look for opportunities for wonder. I want to be charmed by the world. I want to recapture the delight in simple things and little kindnesses. I crave whimsy. And I don’t want it just for me – I want to share it.
To buy 50 books (one for each year I’ve been alive) in person from independent bookstores. Originally, this goal was to buy 5 books each at 10 different bookstores, but then I started listing bookstores I want to visit..and it’s more than 10. So still 50 total, but I’m going to spread the love a little more broadly.
To cook at least 50 meals. This past year was unusual, and there were whole months in which I did not cook at all. To be clear, that doesn’t mean I just ate takeout (although I did that more frequently than usual). A lot of the food I buy is premade and ready to assemble and eat as snacks or salads or sandwiches, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Fed is best. But I also miss cooking, and I feel better when I do so on a regular basis. I want to average at least one cooked meal a week (with a couple of weeks off during staff training or holidays).
To set and meet 50 small financial goals. I didn’t talk about the goal I set for my finances last year, because medical expenses are expensive and I didn’t have the confidence that I’d actually be able to make it. But I did. I saved a month’s salary in an emergency fund. And then I made the first payment on a medical bill (which is exactly what emergency funds are for, I guess). And I built my savings back up. And made another first payment on a different medical bill. And I have – for the third time – almost reached a month’s salary in savings again. This didn’t happen spontaneously, though. I did it by setting monthly financial goals for both my outgoing budget and my savings. This year, there are additional things I want to do that will help me (eventually) draft a retirement plan, so I’m going to work those goals in as well. I do not harbor delusions that I will be able to retire fully any time soon (if ever), but with a little preparation, I think I can see a lighter workload on the distant horizon.
To write 50,000 words. This may be one story, or it may be 100. I just want to get back into a regular writing practice.
To consistently meet daily goals on my Finch app. Most of my reminders to eat, or drink water, or do something creative (whether that be writing or knitting or music or whatever), or take a walk/stretch break, come through Finch. Neurospicy folk, gamify the daily activities everyone else thinks of as habits. This app has helped me so much.
To make a list of 50 fun things to do in the next 10 years. I already have a few ideas, but I am going to take the whole year to decide what makes the final cut. Something to look forward to!
This is a long and ambitious list, and I fully expect my intentions to wax and wane as the year throws whatever curve balls it’s got up its sleeve. After all, sometimes just surviving is the only accomplishment a person needs to achieve.
But these wishes give me hope and spark a little bit of the type of wonder that I desperately want this year.
It’s rainy and cool outside, and I’m enjoying a nice cup of tea. Hello, November. It’s wonderful to see you.
Here are some things I read that I found enjoyable. Hope you do, too.
A few tips on how not to freak out about the US election – tl;dr – focus on the present moment or next doable step, be the change you want to see, get involved at the local level, etc.
A refreshing take on rejection. My favorite quote – “Blurting out madness is still 100% my jam and it always will be.”
Are we too impatient to be intelligent? An offensive (to someone who loves efficiency as much as I do) and compelling argument for why faster isn’t often actually better.
A fantastic piece from Elif Shafak on being a writer in the age of angst. There are so many great takeaways, but let me leave you with this one – “Literature brings the periphery to the centre and rehumanizes those who have been dehumanized. This is why, storytellers are memory-keepers.”
Today, I enjoyed this lovely pastry from The Market by Clark Bakery, our very own on-campus bakery. It was flaky and messy and awesome.
Just like life is sometimes.
This year, there have been good days and bad days, but very few days have been all one or the other. Days I remember fondly were still usually hard. Most days this year have been meh overall.
But even days that were super traumatic had a little spark of hope in them. Sometimes, that’s all that saw me through.
The comfort of a friend.
Actually being able to taste a cup of coffee (which was a rare treat during chemo).
A cool breeze.
Sharing cat pictures.
Coming home to a care package in the mail.
A flaky, messy pastry.
Likewise, every book I’ve read this year has played some role in helping me push through to the other side of whatever was going on while I was reading it. No matter how hard something was, the stories were always there. When I didn’t have the energy to do anything else, I could still read. When I got tired of repeating updates about my health, books gave me something else to talk about.
I’ve enjoyed sharing a small portion of that with you this month, and there are many more quotes I had lined up that I hope to write about in the future. I encourage you to keep a quote journal, whether it’s to jot down things that inspire you in the books you read, in articles from your favorite cultural icons, or even in memes that catch your eye as you’re scrolling through your social media feeds.
(This is a little aggressive for a Monday morning, Dove. Calm it down.)
“There’s a thunderstorm brewing inside me and I think it will break soon.” Stephen King, Fairy Tale
On Saturday, I walked the survivors’ lap at the Celebrate Life 5K. It turns out, the survivors’ lap was a short jaunt around the grass near the starting point for the race, for which I was grateful. I was already up early; I’m not sure I could have done much more.
And we didn’t. We walked our circle to many, many cheers and then just kept walking out to our cars to go get breakfast.
Recently, I haven’t felt like doing a lot of things. This is not to say that I haven’t wanted to, though. I very much wanted to run the full race on Saturday but I am just not up to it yet. I wanted to clean my apartment on Sunday but barely managed to finish the laundry before I was worn out and needed to rest.
I noticed this morning that I am now in the practice of going through my calendar at the beginning of every week to see what I can remove from it, just in case. I have question marks beside things I printed in bold, assured letters just a month ago. It’s a little disappointing. I had hoped to be feeling a lot better by now, but more extended rest is needed.
This may be the calm before the storm, though. I feel it brewing.
To be fair, I always feel a surge of expectation in October. The end of the year is in sight, and the beginning of the new church year is a little over a month away. I hold off on posting hopes and plans for the upcoming calendar year until the end of December, but I’ve already started musing to myself about what those will be.
(It’s gonna be good. I’m pretty excited about it.)
(Assuming all my test results in the next couple of months are what I want them to be.)
For one thing, I turn 50 next March, and I plan to be extra…everything…about it. Several friends have reached/are reaching this milestone before then, and I’m excited to celebrate with them, too.
The main thing, though, is that I want to live in ways that make me feel better – feel alive and vibrant – no matter what happens. Storms come whether you are prepared for them or not. I want to be more prepared.
And as for the thunderstorm building inside me…let it come. It’s time.
This year was a wild one. I’m pretty surprised I accomplished as much as I did. I met the spirit of each of my resolutions, if not the actual goals themselves.
Theme: Home
I’ve thought and read a lot this year about what home (having one, being at, making one, etc.) means. I’ve jotted down notes throughout the year and shared some of them here (click “home” link in the word salad over there —>). As I was finishing up The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik, I ran across a quote that sums up a lot of my thoughts on the theme – “Nothing about deathlessness or permanence, nothing forced; it was only a request, a cry of longing: stay here, please stay, be our shelter, be our home, be loved…”
Home is not something I construct once and have forever. It is a living, breathing thing. I find it in spaces, but I can also carry it with me, a sense of belonging that simply comes from being at home with who I am. A loving, peaceful home – or world – cannot be created from exploitation or greed. It must be cultivated with care. And care is complicated, especially when there are few systems in place to foster it.
I see this working in many of the choices I’ve made this year to put down some things that seem great but are either shiny trash or just not for me. I’ve also put my strategic/analytical strengths to good use in choosing new things to pick up.
I don’t think this a lesson that ends, but I’m glad to have explored it more thoroughly this year.
Arts/Words/Creativity
The thrill of having a week off work without having to use any PTO often goes to my head. Especially when setting goals for the upcoming year. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though. I like thinking in terms of extravagant possibilities, particularly when it comes to creative pursuits.
While I didn’t quite make the goal of reading 180 books, I don’t think it’s beyond my reach (in general – definitely beyond my reach in the next day and a half). In fact, I was ahead of schedule for most of the year, until work and health issues exploded. I don’t know how much those things will actually settle down, but I’ll keep the same goal for next year and see how it goes.
When it comes to setting reasonable creative goals, I first had to fail spectacularly to learn. Most of the year, I faithfully set weekly plans on Sunday…and then did not meet them. Minor tangent – I am delighted to report that failing isn’t half the gut punch it used to be. Perhaps I’m actually healing from my overachiever, perfectionist ways? Here’s hoping. Anyway, in the last few months, I have become better at setting realistic short-term goals, a skill I plan to take into the new year with gusto.
Health/Wellness/Energy
I still really dislike strength training. And I dropped my Pilates membership because I wasn’t going anyway so it didn’t make sense to spend money on it. But I am begrudgingly sticking to a pretty regular schedule, completing at least two upper body and two lower body sessions a week. I am happy to report that it still works even when you whine about it, and a little whining is cathartic.
My favorite wellness habit this year has been my commitment to making sure I have the downtime I need to function properly. The more I learn about how my brain works and what it needs to be at its best, the easier it is to say no to things that keep that from happening. Same thing with cutting out foods that make me feel sluggish. Actually feeling good and having sufficient energy to do things is so much better than slogging through or pushing myself until I collapse. I’m up to three regular time-outs a week. I think that’s the sweet spot where I still feel connected to people and life in general without getting overwhelmed and out of sorts.
As it turns out, these are skills I will need in the months ahead.
I have some hard things coming up, health-wise. I don’t know all the specifics yet or the extent to which I will need to reorganize the rest of my life to adapt to these changes in the upcoming months, and I don’t know how much of it I will share here. I do know, however, that I will need the space to figure it out as I go along. And the work I have done this year toward being healthier – both physically and mentally – is going to help me do that. I’m grateful for what this year has taught me in this regard.
Finances
I do not have $1000 in my cushion account. Like I said, some shit has come up. But at least I have a cushion account, and I’m leaving it alone (except for the emergencies and extra surprises for which it is intended) and replenishing it as I am able. This is still an improvement over last year.
As far as my goal of identifying one new way to save or make money every month, I have gone above and beyond. I dropped subscriptions and services that I wasn’t using enough to justify the expense. I curbed impulse spending by giving myself a 3-day waiting period before buying anything I didn’t need to make sure I actually wanted to make the purchase (this was more successful at certain times than at others). Do you know how much more satisfying it makes the purchase when you actually do decide you want it? I had no idea.
But most of all, I applied for and got a new job that increased my monthly take-home pay by about 18%. I have needed every penny of it, and I am so glad to have it.
This year has shaken me in several ways, but it has also revealed that my foundation and my support system are stronger than I thought they were. Most days, I’m more grateful than anxious, and I’m pleased about that.
A fitting start to my resolution recap is a quote from Luvvie Ajayi Jones’s newsletter.
“The goals we set aren’t sacred oaths.”
My 2022 resolutions were perfectly reasonable at the time that I set them. Things happen, though, and sometimes those things cause a big enough disruption (good or bad – still a disruption) that previous intentions either no longer represent what we want or simply aren’t feasible. So we adjust, and we extend compassion to ourselves (the very hardest of all compassions for me to muster).
For better or worse, here’s the year in review.
Read 150 books – I read a lot this year, but not exactly what I planned to read. I finished the majority of the books chosen for in-person book clubs, but I didn’t read a lot of the online club selections. I made a pretty big dent in Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge, the POPSUGAR Reading Challenge, Girlxoxo’s Monthly Key Word Reading Challenge, and the 52 Book Club’s Reading Challenge, but I didn’t finish any of them. However, I discovered some new series and authors that I love, and still met my goal of 150 books. According to Goodreads, in those 150 books, I read 44,892 pages, which put my average book length at 299 pages. Most of all, I had fun, so I am calling it a success!
Write 5 short stories – I think I wrote zero short stories this year. I may have finished one for a What Now? submission, but I don’t recall specifics, so probably not. On the plus side, I have definitely written more words of fiction than in other recent years, so at least I’m getting back into the habit.
Finish expanded rough drafts of Feast and Epic Meal Planning – Welp. Hmm. Nope. This did not happen. I did make an impressive (read: intense) to-do list for each project to keep me on track. I’m pretty sure doing that just overwhelmed me, though, especially as life (read: work) itself got more overwhelming.
Earn $7500 with copywriting job – This also did not happen (see above re: overwhelmed at work). I have a couple of new teams that pay more per word, though, so it’s starting to become easier to work back up to the paycheck I need. This leaves me hopeful.
Build a consistent practice of an average of 30 minutes/day of movement – I’m so proud of myself. I’ve been really consistent with this. It’s mostly just been walking with a few dance breaks scattered in, but my doctor assures me that it counts (take that, overachiever brain). The main difference I’ve noticed that it has made is having fewer aches/stiff muscles, especially when I get up in the morning.
So, two out of five. Not what I’d hoped for, but still progress. I learned some things, and I’m (working on) being satisfied with that.
Did you make resolutions this year? What did you learn from them?
M. Suzanne Terry 