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Archive for the ‘Church’ Category

Well, friends. The day has come. My last day of working for UNT Housing. From my start as a night desk clerk to the leader of our amazing tour team, it’s been a little over 20 years of meeting loads of people I love and helping students feel at home on campus. I’m excited about my new adventure as an academic advisor, though!

Here are some lovely things that have given me much-needed pauses as I plowed through the to-do list of things to make next week easier for the staff.

  • I love this poem by Rudy Franciso. I love the “Amen” chorus from the audience, too. “It’s hard being alive, but it looks so good on you.”
  • I miss Let It Be Sunday, but I love the new Joy the Baker monthly series, The Bakehouse Almanac. I think I shall subscribe to a new analog magazine (for free through my AARP, of course. Because I’m old enough to qualify for AARP, and I have a lot of participation points to burn.)!
  • I am grateful for this reframe of “This Will Be My Year” from Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes. Regardless of what happens to me and in the world, did I do my best? Did I take care of myself? Did I take care of my relationships (or, in the case of 2024, did they take exceptionally good care of me)? Did I experience joy? In that light, yes. 2020, 2024, 2025 – each of these has indeed been my year, and I expect that 2026 will be as well. There will be lots of opportunities to practice those four things.
  • There is hope for Patchouli Joe’s! They have a GoFundMe to raise money to transition to a new location. Please donate to help if you can.
  • I love The Residence so much. I wish it had gotten renewed. It was worth every dollar of production costs, and Netflix is a fool. I’m glad these actors are getting recognition for their great work.

And one bonus salve for the weary – A Blessing for the Weak by Nadia Bolz-Weber

Have a good weekend!

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The coziest (and the best) way to ring in the new year? Snacks, wine, comfort of my own home.

I love the Montana Happy newsletter. It’s always full of cozy crafts, recipes, and tips. It’s a much-needed shelter in the storm of the world. In exploring cozy as a theme this year, I am working my way through this list of prompts.

  • Hygge prompt #1 – What advice would you give your younger self with your current knowledge if given a time machine? What changes would you make?

Not that my younger self would have listened…but here goes.

That interdisciplinary major you’re considering during grad school (the one that would give you a foot in the door to library science)? DO IT. You can still teach public speaking and work night desk and be an assignment coordinator. These will be the jobs that give you the best stories and where you will meet some of your favorite people. But it would also be nice to have some sweet librarian training in your back pocket when you’re ready to branch out.

Don’t stop dancing and running. It’s hard to get that momentum back after you lose it, and you will miss it when it’s gone.

Ditto re: playing piano and French horn. 

Don’t sell your French horn. Maybe stick with a digital piano/full-sized keyboard instead of the upright grand, though. That was…a lot.

The pavement on Fry Street is dangerously uneven. Tread cautiously. Your left knee, in particular, will thank you. Also, maybe don’t drink the WHOLE beer tower. Just a thought.

In fact, go ahead and slow down on the drinking in general. One or two glasses of wine at a time is fine, and it is definitely less expensive. If you need to be buzzed to feel comfortable at a place, just leave the place. You could be home and reading. 

We still love home and reading.

You don’t want to live in the downstairs apartment. Having upstairs neighbors is THE WORST.

Look closely for bug problems before you move in. No apartment is cute enough to be worth the hassle of getting rid of an infestation.

Those things that you keep seeing ads for that you think you’d really enjoy having? You won’t. Just keep scrolling. I guarantee there’s a cute cat video coming up, and it’s free.

The cancer diagnosis isn’t the end of the world. You survive, and your friends really come through for you. Go ahead and push for the reconstructive surgery while they have you on the table, though.

When the church you love dissolves, don’t rush into replacing it. Save yourself some religious trauma and take a real break. But keep that weird little liturgical one you visited in the back of your mind. You’re going to love them someday.

I know loneliness sucks. And it will suck for a long time, especially when it seems like everyone around you is pairing off, so buckle up. But don’t waste so much time wanting a partner. Your life is already rich with love, and you will absolutely adore living alone. Once you get there, you will realize that it would take a truly exceptional connection to merit giving that up. Hold out for it.

When you feel like you have to choose between loving others well and wanting to hold them to your own moral code (which, despite everything you’ve been taught, they are not – in any way – obligated to adhere to), choose love. Every time. Your moral code will change as you learn and grow, and you will regret the harm that you did before you knew better. But you will never regret loving extravagantly. 

Love extravagantly.

Love yourself. To quote Tova Goodman’s six-word memoir, “Little me would’ve liked big me.”

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I’m feeling very festive-song-in-minor-key today. It’s been a good week, but a busy one, and the busy isn’t really over until Sunday at noon-ish. My body is giving me small warning signs, so I figure I have about 5 days before it absolutely crashes unless I get some slow-down soon. Noted. My planner on Sunday afternoon reads “NOTHING NOT A DAMN THING.” So that’s where we’re at.

  • The correct Advent greeting. I love it every time Rev. Joseph Yoo shows up in my feed.
  • If someone rich wants advice on what to do with their money, Bryan Fuller and the cast of Pushing Daisies are ready to give us more antics at the Pie Hole! I NEED SEASON THREE!
  • Busy seasons have me sitting at the keyboard more often than usual. I just play through my theory books or some Bach variations – predictable, methodic, simple. Instrumental and ambient music are great stress relievers, which this piece explores beautifully.
  • Speaking of ambient music, I’m playing in the Joan of Bark Fest tomorrow with Wenepa. It will not be the same without Des, but I know we’ll still make some beautiful sounds together. Come see us if you’re local!
  • The James Garfield Miracle is one of my favorite things that happens every year, and I want y’all to know about it.

And an extra bonus at the end of this busy, busy week. Because The Great Unfuckening is nigh, and I feel like mine is going to be a doozy. My brain is so tired, and my stockpile of fucks-to-give is quickly dwindling.

Next week’s schedule is much calmer. It’s still busy and social – just not every day. There are real pockets of rest on the horizon, and I am excited about that.

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Hello, December

I was driving back from the parents’ farm on Friday when I meant to post my last Friday Five of November. I was holding off to see if I found a fifth, but I didn’t want these four little snippets of joy to slip through my fingers. I hope you enjoy them!

  • Advent is upon us so I wanted to share (re-share? I think I’ve shared it before) Tsh Oxenreider’s succinct piece on the why and how of the season.
  • I finally watched Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris this week, and it is just as lovely and just as charming as the book (even with the H added to ‘Arris). I thought there was no way I would love it as much as the book, but I did. Leslie Manville was perfectly cast and an absolute delight. Now I want to watch the Angela Lansbury version from the 90s.
  • Ethan Hawke on Marilynne Robinson’s Housekeeping – “She was speaking to me in a way that made my soul feel like it mattered.” Same, Ethan Hawke. Marilynne Robinson is a treasure.
  • I supervise a staff of university students, and a frequent question I get when they are about to graduate and go out into the big, bad world is, “How do I make friends as an adult?” Outside of the structure of classes and group projects and student organizations and residence halls, all of which tend to force socialization to some extent (for better or worse), the prospect of being on their own is often daunting, especially for introverts. My answer? Book clubs. Yes, I meet people at church, but some people don’t practice a religion. Yes, I have an art community (with very wide parameters regarding what constitutes art), but that’s not necessarily a widespread phenomenon. Book clubs are easy and more universal. Even if you don’t read a lot, you can usually find a book club that discusses genre (like the ones hosted by our public library). If you can’t find a local club that meets your needs, you can always join one online. You can also start your own and post fliers at the local library (where you can probably also meet for free, if you don’t want to invite people to your house). Options abound, and book people are interesting people who make great friends.

Have a great week, friends! Happy December!

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First, in case anyone’s forgotten where I stand on things like welcoming the stranger and protecting the most vulnerable and not making money into an idol by screwing over everyone else to give tax breaks to the least vulnerable (otherwise known as generally following Jesus, not just the shallow husk of a god capitalist Americans have created in their image), there’s nothing beautiful about this bill – call your House representatives today and tell them to vote no and also to feel free to publicly shame their colleagues who are voting in favor of it. Loudly. With pointing.

*deep breath*

Now on to the books.

This month, I’m saying goodbye to Everand (formerly just Scribd). It has changed in the last year, and I’m not enjoying the new way they offer the service. It took me a couple of months to even figure out the new structure, and I still find it clunky.

It sucks a little that, with the cancellation, I’m losing titles that I’ve paid for. But the only unlocked title I still have on it that I am interested in and haven’t finished is Words Are My Matter, and I’m going to end up buying a printed copy of that one anyway. So I let it go. As just another subscription (especially one where the unused unlocks expire at the end of the month with no refund), it’s not something I’m interested in anymore. 

Speaking of lack of interest, I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump lately, which is unusual for me in summer. I think between the worry about my car issues, my budget changes, this country’s nonsense, and my parents’ health, I’ve just been blank and unmotivated in general for anything else. I’m going to carve out a little time this weekend to see if I can find something that holds my scrambled attention span long enough to finish it. 

Maybe something from a previous TBR this year? Maybe a book off my shelves at home that I haven’t read yet? Maybe some of these?

Book clubs:

Other books I’m looking forward to/need to take back to the library:

What are you reading these days?

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Happy Friday, folks! June is up and running! We are three down/ten to go with orientation sessions for new students and their parents this week, so it’s been busy at work. And tonight is Pridenton’s Night Out, and my church has a booth, so that’s my Friday night. Luckily, I have a few days off next week to go hang out with my parents, so that’s something to look forward to.

Additionally, this has been a great morning:

  • My sister came to visit at work (she is going on a trip and wanted to take her friends some of UNT’s special coffee blend from Voltage) and we got to have coffee and bagels together.
  • I got some excellent news that is really going to make my financial life easier.
  • I was able to help two students who were struggling/anxious about housing next year get exactly what they need.
  • One of my staff who has been on a tour with the UNT acapella choir is back and I get to hear his stories soon.
  • I get to have lunch on the square with the office folk today.

Here are some things I’ve enjoyed reading in the last few weeks (months? It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these):

  • As a member of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club (shameless plug) (which I originally typed “shameless plum” – I’m so hungry and also I may have just given myself an idea for a children’s book), I have been thinking a lot about value categories when it comes to my budget. These are the things that aren’t needs but that I still make room for in the budget because they bring me joy or enrich my life in some way. When I first joined the community, I had office supplies + stationery + accessories on my list because I love them so much. While I have since begrudgingly admitted that maybe I don’t need a whole budget category for writing implements, gosh, I love a good pencil
  • I don’t know if “cozy” and “challenge” would be found together in any sentence I mutter (I lean more toward do-nothing cozy), but this list for summer is nice. Take your dog on a date? Come on, that’s adorable.
  • Joy the Baker’s guide to a joyful summer is more my speed when it comes to summer to-do lists. Gentle suggestions. Things that make life easier/more pleasant. And if you think I’m not looking for that banana malt icebox cake recipe in my inbox every single day, have we even met?
  • Everything about this is powerful and I love it and also I despise that we are living in times where two international students at Harvard singing “There’s a Place for Us” to honor Rita Moreno is especially poignant. I have a lot of feelings.
  • Speaking of things that give me a lot of feelings, OMG YAY.

I hope you have a lovely weekend full of whatever gives you the most peace.

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Lenten season is upon us. I haven’t engaged in the common practice of giving something up for Lent in the last few years, and I don’t feel the need to do so this year. I’ve become quite Lutheran about the church seasons in general, but Lent has been the biggest change from how I observed it before I joined a Lutheran church. I do, however, want to acknowledge the season with practices that may help set my mind and spirit right again. I’ve been having a rough time lately, so most of what I want to do for Lent is strip things down to the bare essentials without taking out everything that gives me joy. I’m not sure this will look too different on the outside, but I just want to be more observant of my daily doings myself. Some journaling is likely in order. Additionally, since one side effect of rough times is my disinterest in things that usually bring me fulfillment, I’m going to see if Madeleine L’Engle’s Walking on Water or Meik Wiking’s The Art of Danish Living can help nudge me out of that.

I’m taking the whole week off for my 50th birthday later in the month. I’m going to go visit my parents the first weekend of my vacation. I have a few fun outings with friends during the week. And then Maggie and Michelle are coming to visit! Otherwise, I’m going to spend that week relaxing, which typically means reading, organizing, and random cleaning as I feel like it. I planted tomatoes yesterday, and I may plant more things if I feel so moved. I may visit some bookstores, but I may also just luxuriate in the fact that I don’t have to be anywhere for most of the week. Enjoying the simple life whenever I can.

I’m pretty stoked about my reading plans for March.

Book Clubs

52 Book Club Challenge

  • Death of the Author by Nnedi Okorafor – a sprayed edge [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
  • The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón – written in third person [mystery/ suspense]
  • Rebel Girl by Kathleen Hanna – celebrity on the cover [memoir]
  • Fable by Adrienne Young – a character with red hair [general YA]
  • The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley – author’s last name is also a first name [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
  • East of Eden by John Steinbeck – direction in the title [general fiction]
  • Finlay Donovan Knocks ‘Em Dead by Ellie Cosimano – character’s name in the title [mystery/suspense]

Libro.fm Challenge

Bad Bitch Book Club Challenge

  • The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean – a book you meant to read in 2022 [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
  • The Truth According to Ember by Danica Nava – a BBC BOTM you never got around to [romance-ish]
  • A book you bought on your birthday – TBA 🙂

Nowhere Bookshop Bingo

OWC Challenge

  • A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas – a book over 400 pages [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
  • The Reformatory by Tananarive Due – a book tagged as horror, cosmic horror, or speculative fiction [mystery/suspense]

Library Books

People have the following books on hold at the library, so I want to finish them quickly and return them. Waiting for books you’re longing to read is so stressful.

One of my upcoming reading challenge prompts is “genre chosen for you by someone else.” So I ask you – what genre do you think I should read?

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One Year Ago

December 22 last year was a Friday. I was talking about books (of course). I had just wrapped up work and parties and performances for the month and was looking forward to traveling to see my family. This day last year was one of my favorite moments of the holiday season – that little transition between work and rest where I get to take a breath.

It was also a little over a week before I got my diagnosis.

So on December 22 last year, the appointment for the follow-up scan that eventually revealed the cancer had been made, and I was anxious. The first reference I see to news about health issues in the blog is on December 30 in my year-end review. This quote is…something. 

“I was ahead of schedule for most of the year, until work and health issues exploded. I don’t know how much those things will actually settle down, but I’ll keep the same goal for next year and see how it goes.”

Yeah, it did not settle down. At all, in any way. If November/December 2023 was an explosion, 2024 was a supernova.

What I enjoy about re-reading this post, though, is how well my 2023 goals had prepared me for what was to come. As challenging as this year has been, it would have been so much harder if I hadn’t already learned some practical ways to take care of myself – not just physically but also mentally and financially. I’m not sure I would have made it without those skills. Good job, past me!

Out of necessity, I’ve sharpened those skills this year. I know I’ve made some progress, because otherwise, today would not have gone the way that it did, and I would be in worse shape for it.

Yesterday was a good day, but it was also a loud day. A very social day. I woke up this morning still feeling the sensory overload. I got up and started getting ready to leave home. I noticed it was not easy.

I paused to check in with what I was feeling:

  • Irritation, almost to the point of panic
  • Itchy skin, particularly anywhere it touched fabric or whenever the breeze from the fan blew over it
  • Dull, throbbing headache
  • Strong aversion to the smell of my lotion (which is “unscented”)
  • Nausea due to all of the above

Yep. That’s still overload. Probably not a great time to go sit in a room with an organ. Or people.

A year ago today, I might have forged ahead and gone to church. After all, the choir was singing and I love being part of that. I’ve missed out on it so much this year.

But nowadays I am more likely to choose getting well over doing almost any other thing. I choose slowing down. I don’t like it. I still want to do all the fun things and dislike that I can’t. But I know that taking a break when I need it is the better choice.

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The season of Advent, that is. It’s (probably) my favorite season of the church year and one of the reasons I tend to say “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas” during most of December (you know, other than the usual reason of wanting my well wishes to others to be as unconditional, as free of strings and assumptions, as possible). I am especially glad today that the weather seems to understand it’s December and is behaving accordingly.

Here are five things I’ve read in the last few weeks that I thought you might enjoy, too.

  • How To Have Cancer by Cory Doctorow – I resonate with so much here. The hoops you have to jump through. The inevitable “I wish I’d done it this way to make it a little less stressful/more effective.” I’m glad Doctorow is OK. I’m glad we’re both (generally) OK.
  • A Brief What, Why, & How of Advent by Tsh Oxenreider – I was recently asked what Advent was about and I rambled a lot. Enthusiastically, but still so much rambling. Here is a much more succinct version. I don’t do everything on this list (and my tradition uses blue candles – for hope/peace/healing – rather than purple – for royalty/penance – during Advent), but this is a lovely explanation.
  • But How Do You Read So Much? by Pandora Sykes – “I will find ways, as I always do, to not do the other stuff, so that I can find time to read.” Yes, that’s it. That’s the big secret. I read so much because I really, really want to read so much. I thoroughly enjoy it. When I’m not reading, I’m usually thinking about what I have read recently and counting the minutes until I can get back to it. But if you only want to read as much as I want to do Pilates every day (i.e., only a little – usually more of an “I should” than an “I want” situation, unless I’m feeling particularly tight or sore in an area I know it will help), then maybe give yourself a break about how infrequently you read and focus on all the wonderful and life-giving things you do instead.
  • Why Walking Helps Us Think by Ferris Jabr – This piece was a fantastic motivation to take more walks. If you only get one free New Yorker article a month, this would be a good one to use it for!
  • “Comfort in, dump out.” This is a clear, easy lesson in How Not To Say the Wrong Thing by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman.

And a bonus bullet point this week – I joined Bluesky  – Roxane Gay said it best – “Some people don’t get exposed to other points of view in their day-to-day lives so they need social media for that. Some of us have friends and colleagues and family. And it shows.”

I hope you have a good weekend, friends!

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Ah, December. Wonderful and wild. Full of parties and Advent festivities. My favorite time for reflection and anticipation.

I’m equal parts excited and tired already.

Because the first part of the month is always so busy, my reading needs to be generally lighthearted and easy. I need books that soothe my mind and soul after a busy day. I’ve already finished the books we’re discussing at book clubs this month, and I’ve lost interest in actually finishing the remaining reading challenges this year. So I can really just read whatever I like. I mean, I can do that all the time, but I’m not putting any self-imposed parameters on my choices this month.

Except for one. I need to get some of my library books back to the library. I have an excessive amount checked out. It’s absurd. So I need to read the ones I’m actually still interested in and just return the ones I’m not. I would love to blank-slate my library check-outs this month, but I’ll settle for cutting them in half.

Also, I’m still planning on finishing my main goal of 180 books for the year. It will be a tight race, but I think I can do it.

Here are my plans as of now.

Books for Advent (i.e., read as part of my daily Advent practice, so finish before Christmas Day)

Library Books Other People Are Waiting On (i.e., finish this week or next)

Ebooks (i.e., lunchtime/standing-in-line/waiting-in-waiting-rooms reads)

Audiobooks (i.e., commuting/doing-housework/staring-at-the-Christmas-tree reads)

Library Books I’ve Renewed a Lot (i.e., read or abandon, but make a choice)

Other Books – Library or Otherwise – That I Am the Most Excited To Read Soon

This is quite a long list, but I remain perpetually optimistic.

What are you most excited to read this month?

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