This is what has wondered across my desk and through my brain this week:
Creativity doesn’t have to be a project – note to self (and perhaps also to you?) to explore the benefits of creative play.
Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Lenten discipline for cranky people that I can really get on board with – 40 Days of Good Shit.
Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes’s piece on the intricacies of the body. “There is freedom in seeing my body not as a mystery to be solved, but rather as a delicacy to be treasured and cared for.”
When I tell you that I loved Eileen Gu’s response to this crusty reporter’s question, I fear that that statement won’t quite express the utter glee with which I CACKLED, especially with the “I KNOW who I am…and who are you?” laugh that started it all. Good for her. Edited to add – I, along with the rest of the world, loved, loved, loved Alysa Liu’s performance that won her the gold.
These slides pretty much sum up my views on the senseless death of Dr. Linda Davis (and all who have died as the result of ICE’s lawless and reckless behavior). There are also resources listed in the caption of the post if you are wondering what you can do. In this season of lament, we cry, “How long will this injustice continue?” and call for the U.S. to repent and abolish ICE.
I have many favorite authors. My authors page on my working TBR rivals my series page as the longest. However, I don’t know that there’s even a single author about whom I can say I’ve read all their works. I mean, I wanna. I have the drive to do so. I will read something I love and immediately devour three or four other books that person has written. I will drop everything I’m doing to read the newest Fredrik Backman (or at least make sure it gets on one of my book clubs’ lists). And I am (slowly) working through Isabel Allende’s work in order of publication. But I do not yet have a completist author of my own, and I WANT ONE. I am looking forward to this series.
Ash Wednesday is NEXT WEEK. What in the world. Anyway, I have practiced Lent for many years and in several ways. I like the way this post breaks it down into four intentions to pursue.
And finally, I’m gonna make Joy the Baker’s one-pot French onion pasta tomorrow. I’ve got a fairly busy weekend, and this little dish is going to help me slow down a little and remind me that it is, in fact, my day off, regardless of what my activities may suggest.
My first full week in office in my advisor position! The first week had Monday as a holiday, and the second week was mostly working from home due to the winter storm that swept through this area. It’s been a long week, but it’s been good. I haven’t quite outfitted my office yet, so I’m going to do some more decorating next week.
I’m looking forward to going out with some friends tonight and I have a few events this weekend. Hopefully, I’ll also have some time to read, clean, and generally decompress as well.
Some links for the week:
This opinion from US District Judge Fred Biery on the release of Liam Arias and his father Adrian is a good read. “‘We the People’ are hearing echoes of that history,” is the type of statement that once inspired me to consider the law and eventually judgeship as a career path. As much as I would probably loathe being a judge most of the time, I would enjoy writing things like this.
How to make soup and also write a novel. I’m going to add this wisdom to my Fall Curriculum (spoiler – my goal will be to revamp my writing practice and finish a manuscript).
Troubles in Minneapolis persist, and friends of a friend have a good resource on the ground if you are looking for a place to donate. The Helping Hand Fund through Our Savior’s Lutheran Church supports their neighbors in need, and you can donate generally or designate your donation as “immigrant support” if you want to specify where you’d like it to go.
I hope you get time and space to decompress this weekend!
The coziest (and the best) way to ring in the new year? Snacks, wine, comfort of my own home.
I love the Montana Happy newsletter. It’s always full of cozy crafts, recipes, and tips. It’s a much-needed shelter in the storm of the world. In exploring cozy as a theme this year, I am working my way through this list of prompts.
Hygge prompt #1 – What advice would you give your younger self with your current knowledge if given a time machine? What changes would you make?
Not that my younger self would have listened…but here goes.
That interdisciplinary major you’re considering during grad school (the one that would give you a foot in the door to library science)? DO IT. You can still teach public speaking and work night desk and be an assignment coordinator. These will be the jobs that give you the best stories and where you will meet some of your favorite people. But it would also be nice to have some sweet librarian training in your back pocket when you’re ready to branch out.
Don’t stop dancing and running. It’s hard to get that momentum back after you lose it, and you will miss it when it’s gone.
Ditto re: playing piano and French horn.
Don’t sell your French horn. Maybe stick with a digital piano/full-sized keyboard instead of the upright grand, though. That was…a lot.
The pavement on Fry Street is dangerously uneven. Tread cautiously. Your left knee, in particular, will thank you. Also, maybe don’t drink the WHOLE beer tower. Just a thought.
In fact, go ahead and slow down on the drinking in general. One or two glasses of wine at a time is fine, and it is definitely less expensive. If you need to be buzzed to feel comfortable at a place, just leave the place. You could be home and reading.
We still love home and reading.
You don’t want to live in the downstairs apartment. Having upstairs neighbors is THE WORST.
Look closely for bug problems before you move in. No apartment is cute enough to be worth the hassle of getting rid of an infestation.
Those things that you keep seeing ads for that you think you’d really enjoy having? You won’t. Just keep scrolling. I guarantee there’s a cute cat video coming up, and it’s free.
The cancer diagnosis isn’t the end of the world. You survive, and your friends really come through for you. Go ahead and push for the reconstructive surgery while they have you on the table, though.
When the church you love dissolves, don’t rush into replacing it. Save yourself some religious trauma and take a real break. But keep that weird little liturgical one you visited in the back of your mind. You’re going to love them someday.
I know loneliness sucks. And it will suck for a long time, especially when it seems like everyone around you is pairing off, so buckle up. But don’t waste so much time wanting a partner. Your life is already rich with love, and you will absolutely adore living alone. Once you get there, you will realize that it would take a truly exceptional connection to merit giving that up. Hold out for it.
When you feel like you have to choose between loving others well and wanting to hold them to your own moral code (which, despite everything you’ve been taught, they are not – in any way – obligated to adhere to), choose love. Every time. Your moral code will change as you learn and grow, and you will regret the harm that you did before you knew better. But you will never regret loving extravagantly.
Love extravagantly.
Love yourself. To quote Tova Goodman’s six-word memoir, “Little me would’ve liked big me.”
2025. The year I finished up cancer treatments (hopefully) for good. The year my dad had a stroke. The year my Aunt Gale died. The year my friend Des died. The year I bought my first new (not used, not traded with Dad to finish out his payments on the newer model in the family – actually new with 0 miles on the odometer when I took it for a test drive) car.
The year I turned 50.
The year I celebrated turning 50 with an excessive list of resolutions to accomplish 50 things in several categories:
50 home-cooked meals
50 books bought from indie bookshops
50 small financial goals set and met
50 thousand words written (not counting blogs or any writing I did for my day job – hey, perhaps I should have counted blogs and UNT trainings/memos/manuals!)
50 bucket list items to cross off by the time I’m 60
I enjoyed working toward everything on this list, but I think my favorite part was creating the bucket list. It ranges from small errands like “renew my passport” to big-deal rites of passage like “retire from UNT.” It contains goals about my career, music, writing, finances, and health. It reveals things I want to change about my home and so many things I want to learn. It includes a surprising amount of travel. I had no idea I wanted to go so many places, but looking at the list, I can’t think of anything I’d want to remove. Although admittedly, unless I win the lottery or become otherwise inexplicably wealthy, I probably won’t be able to take all the bigger trips in just 10 years’ time. I guess that leaves me something to look forward to in my 60s!
You’ll see some of these things when I post my 2026 resolutions in a couple of days. As with a couple of the other goals, I ended up with way more than 50 things for the next decade’s to-do list, and I’m hoping to knock out a lot of the small things next year so I can start taking steps to make the longer-term goals happen. At any rate, it gives me a solid picture of how much life I still have to look forward to.
One holiday week (almost) down, four to go. I can do this.
I love this perspective in these trying times. Times have been trying before, and they will be trying again. Community is how we make it through. And you know I love a book list. This piece has it all.
These are so freaking cute. If I get myself together, they may make an appearance at a holiday party. Or I may take fudge. Fudge is good (and also easy). Or this (but why is it called Jezebel sauce? Good and misunderstood? Bad, but also an understandable and totally acceptable course of action, given the full view of the circumstances? Has it been sacrificed to idols? Did someone die a gruesome death from eating it? I’m so curious.).
I’m looking at the reading challenges I want to attempt in the new year, and it’s really gonna be something. Buckle up – my reading life is fully reflecting my internal chaos, and there is no stopping it at this point. This is an interesting one that I’m considering – the Anti Brain Rot Reading Challenge. I really love the way this challenge is organized. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the idea of having a personal curriculum for each season where I double down on a particular topic. And there is a Discord community. This would be an especially good challenge for people who either want to establish a daily reading practice or intentionally read outside their personal experience zone, and who would like social support in doing so. You know what? I say I’m “considering” it, but I think we all know I’m in. I’m so in.
I love reading books that friends recommend. When I finish, it’s like an automatic mini-book club. This interview with Kate Mosesso on What Should I Read Next is lovely and charming. Bonus that I particularly like about this podcast – transcript and a book list.
A post no one ever wants to write, but Nadia Bolz-Weber does it beautifully. I’m so glad she’s OK.
I was driving back from the parents’ farm on Friday when I meant to post my last Friday Five of November. I was holding off to see if I found a fifth, but I didn’t want these four little snippets of joy to slip through my fingers. I hope you enjoy them!
Advent is upon us so I wanted to share (re-share? I think I’ve shared it before) Tsh Oxenreider’s succinct piece on the why and how of the season.
I finally watched Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris this week, and it is just as lovely and just as charming as the book (even with the H added to ‘Arris). I thought there was no way I would love it as much as the book, but I did. Leslie Manville was perfectly cast and an absolute delight. Now I want to watch the Angela Lansbury version from the 90s.
I supervise a staff of university students, and a frequent question I get when they are about to graduate and go out into the big, bad world is, “How do I make friends as an adult?” Outside of the structure of classes and group projects and student organizations and residence halls, all of which tend to force socialization to some extent (for better or worse), the prospect of being on their own is often daunting, especially for introverts. My answer? Book clubs. Yes, I meet people at church, but some people don’t practice a religion. Yes, I have an art community (with very wide parameters regarding what constitutes art), but that’s not necessarily a widespread phenomenon. Book clubs are easy and more universal. Even if you don’t read a lot, you can usually find a book club that discusses genre (like the ones hosted by our public library). If you can’t find a local club that meets your needs, you can always join one online. You can also start your own and post fliers at the local library (where you can probably also meet for free, if you don’t want to invite people to your house). Options abound, and book people are interesting people who make great friends.
Happy Halloween! This year’s costumes are Winnie the Pooh (featured at book club since I was not feeling well for the actual Halloween party I typically go to), and a version of the Mad Hatter for work today. I hope you are having a fun day!
Some things I enjoyed reading this week (and a bit of last week):
Abbott: Rainbows gotta go… Oak Lawn Methodist Church: …on our steps. “It’s important because silence is not neutral — silence in the face of harm always sides with the oppressor. At Oak Lawn UMC, we believe love belongs in public. Painting our steps in the colors of the rainbow is a visible witness to the gospel we preach: that every person is created in the image of God and worthy of safety, dignity, and belonging,” Love this.
Happy Friday, folks! June is up and running! We are three down/ten to go with orientation sessions for new students and their parents this week, so it’s been busy at work. And tonight is Pridenton’s Night Out, and my church has a booth, so that’s my Friday night. Luckily, I have a few days off next week to go hang out with my parents, so that’s something to look forward to.
Additionally, this has been a great morning:
My sister came to visit at work (she is going on a trip and wanted to take her friends some of UNT’s special coffee blend from Voltage) and we got to have coffee and bagels together.
I got some excellent news that is really going to make my financial life easier.
I was able to help two students who were struggling/anxious about housing next year get exactly what they need.
One of my staff who has been on a tour with the UNT acapella choir is back and I get to hear his stories soon.
I get to have lunch on the square with the office folk today.
Here are some things I’ve enjoyed reading in the last few weeks (months? It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these):
As a member of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club (shameless plug) (which I originally typed “shameless plum” – I’m so hungry and also I may have just given myself an idea for a children’s book), I have been thinking a lot about value categories when it comes to my budget. These are the things that aren’t needs but that I still make room for in the budget because they bring me joy or enrich my life in some way. When I first joined the community, I had office supplies + stationery + accessories on my list because I love them so much. While I have since begrudgingly admitted that maybe I don’t need a whole budget category for writing implements, gosh, I love a good pencil.
I don’t know if “cozy” and “challenge” would be found together in any sentence I mutter (I lean more toward do-nothing cozy), but this list for summer is nice. Take your dog on a date? Come on, that’s adorable.
Joy the Baker’s guide to a joyful summer is more my speed when it comes to summer to-do lists. Gentle suggestions. Things that make life easier/more pleasant. And if you think I’m not looking for that banana malt icebox cake recipe in my inbox every single day, have we even met?
Everything about this is powerful and I love it and also I despise that we are living in times where two international students at Harvard singing “There’s a Place for Us” to honor Rita Moreno is especially poignant. I have a lot of feelings.
Speaking of things that give me a lot of feelings, OMG YAY.
I hope you have a lovely weekend full of whatever gives you the most peace.
I’ve had the draft document for this post open with nothing but a title for three days. That seems ominous.
Do I even have plans this summer? Or is it just something I have to get through until the weather is nice enough to wear my boots again?
I know why I’m hesitant. It makes sense. Summer is the busiest time at my job, so while everyone else is making plans to go on vacation, have fun outings, embrace all the summer programs that their community has to offer, and just generally live their best lives, I’m going to be super busy most days and, subsequently, too worn out by the time evening comes around to want to do any of those things.
I’m also checking in on my parents more, which means at least every other weekend will be spent working on things at the farm, hanging out with my new bird friends (see above), and helping Mom and Dad plan and navigate whatever the next phase will bring.
I’m not really looking for more plans.
In fact, what would make my summer better is to find things to take off my plate. That seems unlikely, though.
I don’t want to suck at my job or abandon my family. I also don’t want to drop off the face of the earth with friends or miss out on the things that bring me the most joy.
But it’s just a lot, and I probably need to use some of that PTO I have stored up.
So my bucket list this summer is more of to-not-do list. And it’s just two things:
Find 5-10 random days to take off. I’m leaning toward 5 right now, but if things start getting nuttier, it’s gonna need to be closer to 10.
DON’T. TELL. ANYONE. As soon as I say, “I’m really looking forward to taking a couple of days off next week,” people like to respond with “Ooh, we could do something!”
Which is great. Truly. I adore the place of love and excitement that comes from. I’m glad people still want to hang out with me even when I’m not my very best self, which seems to be all the time these days.
But the moment I start making plans on my day off…I no longer have the day off. Sure, I may get to sleep in or have more leisure time, and I guess that’s better than nothing. But once I make a plan with someone else, that whole day is now centered around making sure I don’t get too involved in a project or task – or even a spontaneous outing, if that’s where the day’s whims take me – that I forget or show up late to the plans I made. And I’m very bad at turning down things that sound fun with people I love simply because I need to rest. While I strive to be better at this, I recognize that I’m not there yet, so I’m removing the temptation altogether by not letting anyone think I’m available when I’m not.
Whew.
Saying I’m not available when I have the day off is uncomfortable for me. I have struggled with being honest about what I need for most of my adult life. Peeling off the people-pleasing layers I clung to during childhood is hard, and this one is particularly thick.
M. Suzanne Terry 