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Archive for the ‘Beauty’ Category

I was going to address a question I got about my reading life with my April TBR tomorrow. Then I started writing, and it was longer than an intro to an already long post should be. So it gets its own post!

Question – How much do you actually remember of what you read? 

If I’m recalling the conversation where this question was asked correctly (heh, irony), it came from someone who thinks they don’t read a lot. They read about a book a month (which is a lot, relatively speaking, as many people don’t read at all), and they really delve into it. That is, they read it slowly and also end up reading articles and listening to podcasts or watching interviews about the book, the topic, and/or the author. They join the fandoms of their favorite series and dabble in their own fanfic with their favorite characters. They go all in.

And that’s fantastic. I love that so much. What a thorough, beautiful way to approach reading!

I don’t do this with most of the books I read, but I typically have at least one deep dive going on at a time (e.g., my current hyperfocus babies are organ/music theory and Heated Rivalry). My brain does love a rabbit hole, and focusing on a book/series or a theme and reading/researching it so thoroughly definitely scratches that itch. 

However, while this approach often helps with my memory, the main factor that determines how well I remember a book is simply how much I connect to it, regardless of the length of time it takes me to read it.

The books I really love (i.e., rate 4.25 and above on StoryGraph) – I remember vividly. I remember how it made me feel, where I was/what was going on in the world when I first read it (because I am likely to re-read it), what I loved about the characters and specifically why I disliked some of them, some obscure plot details, and maybe even a direct quote or two. I will be absolutely insufferable (or delightful, depending on whether you’re a person who likes joy at all) any time this book comes up in conversation. Which will be often, if I have anything to do with it.

Most of the rest? I remember generally – basic plot, favorite character(s), intersecting themes, etc. Enough to chat about it at book club, especially if I read it within a few months of discussion time. After that, I will need to google a character list and a brief synopsis before I can contribute effectively to the discussion beyond, “I really liked it” or “This scene was funny.”

And there are about a handful of books I finish every year that, even only a few months later, I could not tell you what they were about to save my life. But that’s rare. Most of the time, if a book is that lackluster to me, I don’t finish it and thus don’t count it toward my total list for the year. The exceptions to this rule are usually things I’m reading for book club that I would probably not have even started otherwise. I’ve noticed that as I get older, I’m more likely to slide a book over to the DNF pile (but not the official, public one on Goodreads…I have feelings about this) if it doesn’t hold my interest. I feel like this leaves more room in the library of the old mind palace for the books that do.

How about you? Are you an intentional deep-dive reader, a multiple-books-at-a-time chaos reader, or something in between?

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“When was the last time you felt in awe of something?”

I appreciate nature. I do. Especially the sky. There are few things I love more than driving down a country road under a vast canopy of blue.

While nature may be my reactive response to the question, though, there are lots of other experiences that make me pause and take notice.

Today’s Friday Five brings you five things that inspire awe for me:

  • A really good cup of coffee. Not just a decent cuppa that gets the job done, but a truly exquisite coffee. That will stop me mid-sentence. So many factors go into producing the perfect cup of coffee – where and how it’s grown, how it’s harvested, how the beans are cared for before/during/after roasting, how it’s ground, how it’s brewed, the temperature at which it’s served – it’s a remarkable moment when they all come together to make something special.
  • Zoom choirs. As tired of Zoom as I got during the 2020 shutdown, some of the most beautiful things that came out of it were the choirs. I mean, I love choral singing anyway, and it’s a fast way to get to awe for me, but coupling it with the commitment to making sure people could still enjoy it despite the obstacles of social distancing was particularly touching. The amount of collaboration from all the participants and the hard work from the editors that it took to put these presentations together yielded something marvelous.
  • Meditation. My favorite style of meditation usually involves prayer, but even when it doesn’t, it’s still full of wonders. At its base, it is quiet and still and open. I am seldom closer to awe than when I’m meditating. There is so much noise in the world, and it’s so easy to get distracted from my own soul and my own purpose. There are many different ways to meditate, and I highly recommend finding one that works for you. 
  • Reading poetry. I am easily uplifted by the exceptionally worded sentence. Well-crafted poetry takes it one step further. 
  • People who excel. I love watching people who are very good at what they do – who have found their niche and revel in it – perform. Artists, musicians, writers, actors, dancers, athletes. Even if I don’t generally give a flying fig about what they’re doing (looking at you, most sports), if they are exceptional at it, I suddenly can’t get enough of it. This also extends to people I have worked with. In the grand scheme of things, very few things about any job I’ve ever had are earthshaking. But when I see someone really make a difference in a student’s day or their college experience, or enrich their life in some way, the impact of that moment makes it easier to get out of bed for a while.

Where do you experience awe?

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When the alarm went off this morning, my first thought was “last time I have to hear that this week.” It’s the small things. I have a pretty easy weekend ahead, so I’m looking forward to that.

Here are many things from the internet (mostly from Instagram) that I loved this week.

  • This made me laugh and laugh. Substitute “report card” for “cleaning my room” and this is spot on. My favorite is “You know everybody’s business on the street but you can’t remember what the doctor said?” Actual words that have come out of my mouth – “DO I NEED TO COME TO YOUR APPOINTMENTS AND SIT NEXT TO YOU?” My parents don’t think it’s so humorous when their own words come back at them, but here we are. 
  • Do you have someone in your life who is obsessed with Heated Rivalry? Yes, you do. It’s me. I recently preordered the 7th book that’s coming out in June and also all the special editions of the first six coming out in October, and I’m not even sorry, bank account. This is my joy. Thanks to HR, my Instagram algorithm no longer sends me immediately into a downward spiral (courtesy of the ongoing wtf-ness of the news cycle), and I’m so grateful. HR has gentled the spiral. My May/June TBR (or as soon as I can get my hands on all of them in some form – I’m next on the library waitlist for the first two eeeee!) will basically be this. I have watched the first three episodes with friends, but I am 96% sure I’m going to cave and subscribe to HBO Max for my birthday next week so that I can just watch them all on repeat on a daily basis. My favorite reel right now is of an episode I haven’t even watched yet that shows a whole sports bar’s reaction to a pivotal scene. Spoiler alert – episode 5 (but really, if you have any interest in HR and you are on the internet at all in any way, you have seen this scene). The sheer, unbridled, effervescent joy. Also – Representation matters.
  • Because the representation in HR deserves another bullet point. “It’s about a kid seeing someone loving the same thing he does, trying to stand fully in himself, realizing that the different parts of him don’t have to cancel each other out for him to belong.” The writers and cast are hearing from professional athletes in the closet who are so thankful for the show. “Queer people need to see gay people win. Gay love doesn’t have to end in tragedy. The other shoe doesn’t have to drop.” “Obviously, it’s important to have people who have the experience of autism playing roles who are autistic, but there’s also so much value in having somebody who loves someone who’s autistic playing this role” Finally, this is one of my favorite scenes so far (because there’s gonna be a Season 2 yay) – the apology, the acknowledgement, the space to just let the hurt and the apology exist in the same conversation without trying to smooth either one over. Just…*happy sigh*
  • Excellent breakdown of what good research actually is. Also, Ground News, y’all. Such a good resource. “Let your truths guide your politics; don’t let your politics tell you what’s true.”
  • And finally – I love this energy. “I’m not doing favors today.” “Your request is denied.” And my favorite – “Learn your rights – I can’t learn them for you.” That’s fed-up mom/teacher energy, and I second that emotion.

I hope both your day and your weekend are wonderful!

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Ideal Home

This week, I have early voting and Lenten services and some community events on my plate. I’m particularly overbooked on Sunday, which means part of my Saturday plans may have to fall by the wayside. There seems to be an urgency afoot – not just with me but with others in general – and it’s all good, but also I need to take a breath occasionally.

Fortunately, this is my cozy year, so I have built those breaths into my plans. Note for future self – don’t stop doing this just because the year ends. This is a good thing to learn and incorporate into your life.

This is the second post in the series I have planned to explore the theme of cozy for the year. I am starting with Montana Happy’s list of hygge journal prompts, but I will probably incorporate others as the year progresses.

Prompt #2 – What elements are the most important in designing your dream house?

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. One of my favorite hobbies is sketching out floor plans to visualize what I want in a house (if ever the opportunity should arise). At this point, I could plan a whole neighborhood, which is not a bad idea. Anyone want to make our own mini-town with me?

A few disclaimers to begin:

  • This is not a judgment of your home. Your home is lovely. 
  • I don’t often entertain, at least with large guest lists. I used to entertain regularly. I might decide I like to entertain again someday, but I am also cool with that part of my personality fading into the background. My home is introvert-coded, and that has turned it into a place I can really be at peace. Again, if that’s not you, that’s not a judgment. It’s just what I prefer for my own living space.

While I could make just about any house work right now just to have the luxury of my own parking space and all my walls, floors, and ceilings to myself (i.e., not shared with neighboring apartments, along with their sounds and smells), here are some preferences I’ve discovered as I dream and draw:

  • Garage – attached with the doors facing the side or back (i.e., not the street). Not only do I find this more aesthetically pleasing, but it also seems more secure. The fewer points of entry on the public-facing side of the home, the more effort it takes to breach. Safety measures are important in general, but especially for a woman living alone. As you enter from the garage…
  • Large laundry room that I don’t have to walk through the kitchen to get to from the primary bedroom. I hate tracking my clean clothes through the kitchen, which is generally the most aromatic room in the house. In my ideal home, there is a straight line from the laundry room to my bedroom. Bonus points if there is a pocket door between them that opens directly into the primary closet.
  • Primary bedroom – I don’t necessarily want this to be a large room. The larger it is, the more distractions I will be tempted to add to it, and the less conducive to sleep it will be. I don’t need anything that makes sleep harder for me. It just has to accommodate my bed, two side tables, a small bookshelf and chair, and a corner to put down a Pilates mat for night and morning stretches.
  • Primary bathroom – Large bath and shower (separate – oh, to be done with the shower/bath combo that apartment living necessitates). My arrangement of elements varies, but the overall size and structure mimic most homes on the market these days.
  • Private reading nook as part of the primary suite bedroom suite. One of several reading pockets tucked around the house. Generous shelving with all my self-soothing books – cozy mystery and fantasy, foodie fiction and memoir, etc. –  comfy chair(s), a side bar for tea/coffee-making, and a small fridge for cheese, fruit, and other snacks.
  • Full library, of course. I flip between wanting separate areas for each genre and putting all fiction together and just separating nonfiction by genre (i.e., like in the public library). A mix of the two (to accommodate certain genres being in other rooms) is where I am currently sitting, but…I have thoughts that are beyond the scope of this post. Designing the library is a whole subsection of this hobby.
  • Private office that you can only get to via a secret bookshelf/door in the library. Walls lined with shelves that hold all my writing books, journals, and research notes, with file drawers on the bottom of each bookcase. The nook also accommodates the appropriate tea/coffee-making paraphernalia and snack storage to fuel long bouts of writing and reading. 
  • Large kitchen – I like an island with a large worktop, a huge farmhouse sink under a window, and a whole separate upright freezer in addition to the small one that comes with the fridge. I want the pantry to be its own separate room and for the door to it to actually open into the kitchen (not in the utility area with the rest of the storage). Speaking of storage, I want plenty of it, including bookshelves where all my cookbooks live. I also want seating around the island so people can hang out while I cook without having to stand.
  • Dining area – A house with all this other stuff will likely have a whole dining room. I’ll probably have a table if it’s far enough away from the entry to keep it from accumulating a lot of stuff. But I’ll definitely line the walls with bookshelves and cozy the room up to use as another reading space. Maybe this is where I will host book club when it’s my turn to do so.
  • Living room – pretty standard. Lots of comfortable seating. Console with a TV and stereo, including a turntable, and shelves for my records.
  • Studio space – Room for a piano, organ, dance floor (and at least one mirrored wall with ballet bars), and craft area. I want designated spaces for all the arts I try to do. There will be lots of shelving for storing supplies and creativity/inspiration books.
  • At least two guest rooms (that – let’s face it – will also be filled with books, likely my most recent acquisitions) with ensuite baths.
  • Alright, you got me. The whole house is basically a library.
  • There are also plants in every room. My ideal home also includes an ideal self who keeps multiple plants alive.
  • Shared backyard with the whole block – indoor and outdoor pools, community garden, outdoor kitchen, brick pizza oven, firepit, community library shed, maybe a pickleball court if the neighbors like that sort of thing? Anyway, a large semi-private/semi-public outdoor area shared with the neighbors whose houses back up to mine in a large, quasi-commune situation – just with our own houses. This, of course, implies that I get to pick my neighbors. Otherwise, this is significantly less than ideal.

I know that I will probably never live in a house like this, but it’s fun to think about. And when I start looking for a house, I can keep these elements in mind.

What would your dream home look like?

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Happy Friday, friends. We made it.

This is what has wondered across my desk and through my brain this week:

  • Creativity doesn’t have to be a project – note to self (and perhaps also to you?) to explore the benefits of creative play.
  • Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Lenten discipline for cranky people that I can really get on board with – 40 Days of Good Shit.
  • Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes’s piece on the intricacies of the body. “There is freedom in seeing my body not as a mystery to be solved, but rather as a delicacy to be treasured and cared for.”
  • When I tell you that I loved Eileen Gu’s response to this crusty reporter’s question, I fear that that statement won’t quite express the utter glee with which I CACKLED, especially with the “I KNOW who I am…and who are you?” laugh that started it all. Good for her. Edited to add – I, along with the rest of the world, loved, loved, loved Alysa Liu’s performance that won her the gold.
  • These slides pretty much sum up my views on the senseless death of Dr. Linda Davis (and all who have died as the result of ICE’s lawless and reckless behavior). There are also resources listed in the caption of the post if you are wondering what you can do. In this season of lament, we cry, “How long will this injustice continue?” and call for the U.S. to repent and abolish ICE.

Have a good day/weekend!

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I want one of these days. Oh, to be a crocheted frog! That looks so cozy and nice. Maybe soon. 

In the meantime, here are some good reads that also feel cozy. Enjoy!

  • I love Jenny Lawson, and I cannot wait to read How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay. That is all.
  • On embracing the inner crone, from Stefanie Vallejo Monahan. Yes, please.
  • I have many favorite authors. My authors page on my working TBR rivals my series page as the longest. However, I don’t know that there’s even a single author about whom I can say I’ve read all their works. I mean, I wanna. I have the drive to do so. I will read something I love and immediately devour three or four other books that person has written. I will drop everything I’m doing to read the newest Fredrik Backman (or at least make sure it gets on one of my book clubs’ lists). And I am (slowly) working through Isabel Allende’s work in order of publication. But I do not yet have a completist author of my own, and I WANT ONE. I am looking forward to this series.
  • Ash Wednesday is NEXT WEEK. What in the world. Anyway, I have practiced Lent for many years and in several ways. I like the way this post breaks it down into four intentions to pursue.
  • And finally, I’m gonna make Joy the Baker’s one-pot French onion pasta tomorrow. I’ve got a fairly busy weekend, and this little dish is going to help me slow down a little and remind me that it is, in fact, my day off, regardless of what my activities may suggest.

Have a good weekend, friends!

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My first full week in office in my advisor position! The first week had Monday as a holiday, and the second week was mostly working from home due to the winter storm that swept through this area. It’s been a long week, but it’s been good. I haven’t quite outfitted my office yet, so I’m going to do some more decorating next week.

I’m looking forward to going out with some friends tonight and I have a few events this weekend. Hopefully, I’ll also have some time to read, clean, and generally decompress as well.

Some links for the week:

  • This opinion from US District Judge Fred Biery on the release of Liam Arias and his father Adrian is a good read. “‘We the People’ are hearing echoes of that history,” is the type of statement that once inspired me to consider the law and eventually judgeship as a career path. As much as I would probably loathe being a judge most of the time, I would enjoy writing things like this.
  • Charcuterie. Pretzels. Y’all, this is adorable.
  • How to make soup and also write a novel. I’m going to add this wisdom to my Fall Curriculum (spoiler – my goal will be to revamp my writing practice and finish a manuscript).
  • I love her joy and her new ‘do!
  • Troubles in Minneapolis persist, and friends of a friend have a good resource on the ground if you are looking for a place to donate. The Helping Hand Fund through Our Savior’s Lutheran Church supports their neighbors in need, and you can donate generally or designate your donation as “immigrant support” if you want to specify where you’d like it to go.

I hope you get time and space to decompress this weekend!

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The coziest (and the best) way to ring in the new year? Snacks, wine, comfort of my own home.

I love the Montana Happy newsletter. It’s always full of cozy crafts, recipes, and tips. It’s a much-needed shelter in the storm of the world. In exploring cozy as a theme this year, I am working my way through this list of prompts.

  • Hygge prompt #1 – What advice would you give your younger self with your current knowledge if given a time machine? What changes would you make?

Not that my younger self would have listened…but here goes.

That interdisciplinary major you’re considering during grad school (the one that would give you a foot in the door to library science)? DO IT. You can still teach public speaking and work night desk and be an assignment coordinator. These will be the jobs that give you the best stories and where you will meet some of your favorite people. But it would also be nice to have some sweet librarian training in your back pocket when you’re ready to branch out.

Don’t stop dancing and running. It’s hard to get that momentum back after you lose it, and you will miss it when it’s gone.

Ditto re: playing piano and French horn. 

Don’t sell your French horn. Maybe stick with a digital piano/full-sized keyboard instead of the upright grand, though. That was…a lot.

The pavement on Fry Street is dangerously uneven. Tread cautiously. Your left knee, in particular, will thank you. Also, maybe don’t drink the WHOLE beer tower. Just a thought.

In fact, go ahead and slow down on the drinking in general. One or two glasses of wine at a time is fine, and it is definitely less expensive. If you need to be buzzed to feel comfortable at a place, just leave the place. You could be home and reading. 

We still love home and reading.

You don’t want to live in the downstairs apartment. Having upstairs neighbors is THE WORST.

Look closely for bug problems before you move in. No apartment is cute enough to be worth the hassle of getting rid of an infestation.

Those things that you keep seeing ads for that you think you’d really enjoy having? You won’t. Just keep scrolling. I guarantee there’s a cute cat video coming up, and it’s free.

The cancer diagnosis isn’t the end of the world. You survive, and your friends really come through for you. Go ahead and push for the reconstructive surgery while they have you on the table, though.

When the church you love dissolves, don’t rush into replacing it. Save yourself some religious trauma and take a real break. But keep that weird little liturgical one you visited in the back of your mind. You’re going to love them someday.

I know loneliness sucks. And it will suck for a long time, especially when it seems like everyone around you is pairing off, so buckle up. But don’t waste so much time wanting a partner. Your life is already rich with love, and you will absolutely adore living alone. Once you get there, you will realize that it would take a truly exceptional connection to merit giving that up. Hold out for it.

When you feel like you have to choose between loving others well and wanting to hold them to your own moral code (which, despite everything you’ve been taught, they are not – in any way – obligated to adhere to), choose love. Every time. Your moral code will change as you learn and grow, and you will regret the harm that you did before you knew better. But you will never regret loving extravagantly. 

Love extravagantly.

Love yourself. To quote Tova Goodman’s six-word memoir, “Little me would’ve liked big me.”

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2025. The year I finished up cancer treatments (hopefully) for good. The year my dad had a stroke. The year my Aunt Gale died. The year my friend Des died. The year I bought my first new (not used, not traded with Dad to finish out his payments on the newer model in the family – actually new with 0 miles on the odometer when I took it for a test drive) car.

The year I turned 50. 

The year I celebrated turning 50 with an excessive list of resolutions to accomplish 50 things in several categories:

  • 50 home-cooked meals
  • 50 books bought from indie bookshops
  • 50 small financial goals set and met
  • 50 thousand words written (not counting blogs or any writing I did for my day job – hey, perhaps I should have counted blogs and UNT trainings/memos/manuals!)
  • 50 bucket list items to cross off by the time I’m 60

I enjoyed working toward everything on this list, but I think my favorite part was creating the bucket list. It ranges from small errands like “renew my passport” to big-deal rites of passage like “retire from UNT.” It contains goals about my career, music, writing, finances, and health. It reveals things I want to change about my home and so many things I want to learn. It includes a surprising amount of travel. I had no idea I wanted to go so many places, but looking at the list, I can’t think of anything I’d want to remove. Although admittedly, unless I win the lottery or become otherwise inexplicably wealthy, I probably won’t be able to take all the bigger trips in just 10 years’ time. I guess that leaves me something to look forward to in my 60s!

You’ll see some of these things when I post my 2026 resolutions in a couple of days. As with a couple of the other goals, I ended up with way more than 50 things for the next decade’s to-do list, and I’m hoping to knock out a lot of the small things next year so I can start taking steps to make the longer-term goals happen. At any rate, it gives me a solid picture of how much life I still have to look forward to.

I’m excited to get started!

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One holiday week (almost) down, four to go. I can do this.

  • I love this perspective in these trying times. Times have been trying before, and they will be trying again. Community is how we make it through. And you know I love a book list. This piece has it all.
  • These are so freaking cute. If I get myself together, they may make an appearance at a holiday party. Or I may take fudge. Fudge is good (and also easy). Or this (but why is it called Jezebel sauce? Good and misunderstood? Bad, but also an understandable and totally acceptable course of action, given the full view of the circumstances? Has it been sacrificed to idols? Did someone die a gruesome death from eating it? I’m so curious.).
  • I’m looking at the reading challenges I want to attempt in the new year, and it’s really gonna be something. Buckle up – my reading life is fully reflecting my internal chaos, and there is no stopping it at this point. This is an interesting one that I’m considering – the Anti Brain Rot Reading Challenge. I really love the way this challenge is organized. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the idea of having a personal curriculum for each season where I double down on a particular topic. And there is a Discord community. This would be an especially good challenge for people who either want to establish a daily reading practice or intentionally read outside their personal experience zone, and who would like social support in doing so. You know what? I say I’m “considering” it, but I think we all know I’m in. I’m so in.
  • I love reading books that friends recommend. When I finish, it’s like an automatic mini-book club. This interview with Kate Mosesso on What Should I Read Next is lovely and charming. Bonus that I particularly like about this podcast – transcript and a book list. 
  • A post no one ever wants to write, but Nadia Bolz-Weber does it beautifully. I’m so glad she’s OK.

Have a great weekend, friends!

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