M. Suzanne Terry

The coziest (and the best) way to ring in the new year? Snacks, wine, comfort of my own home.

I love the Montana Happy newsletter. It’s always full of cozy crafts, recipes, and tips. It’s a much-needed shelter in the storm of the world. In exploring cozy as a theme this year, I am working my way through this list of prompts.

• Hygge prompt #1 – What advice would you give your younger self with your current knowledge if given a time machine? What changes would you make?

Not that my younger self would have listened…but here goes.

That interdisciplinary major you’re considering during grad school (the one that would give you a foot in the door to library science)? DO IT. You can still teach public speaking and work night desk and be an assignment coordinator. These will be the jobs that give you the best stories and where you will meet some of your favorite people. But it would also be nice to have some sweet librarian training in your back pocket when you’re ready to branch out.

Don’t stop dancing and running. It’s hard to get that momentum back after you lose it, and you will miss it when it’s gone.

Ditto re: playing piano and French horn. 

Don’t sell your French horn. Maybe stick with a digital piano/full-sized keyboard instead of the upright grand, though. That was…a lot.

The pavement on Fry Street is dangerously uneven. Tread cautiously. Your left knee, in particular, will thank you. Also, maybe don’t drink the WHOLE beer tower. Just a thought.

In fact, go ahead and slow down on the drinking in general. One or two glasses of wine at a time is fine, and it is definitely less expensive. If you need to be buzzed to feel comfortable at a place, just leave the place. You could be home and reading. 

We still love home and reading.

You don’t want to live in the downstairs apartment. Having upstairs neighbors is THE WORST.

Look closely for bug problems before you move in. No apartment is cute enough to be worth the hassle of getting rid of an infestation.

Those things that you keep seeing ads for that you think you’d really enjoy having? You won’t. Just keep scrolling. I guarantee there’s a cute cat video coming up, and it’s free.

The cancer diagnosis isn’t the end of the world. You survive, and your friends really come through for you. Go ahead and push for the reconstructive surgery while they have you on the table, though.

When the church you love dissolves, don’t rush into replacing it. Save yourself some religious trauma and take a real break. But keep that weird little liturgical one you visited in the back of your mind. You’re going to love them someday.

I know loneliness sucks. And it will suck for a long time, especially when it seems like everyone around you is pairing off, so buckle up. But don’t waste so much time wanting a partner. Your life is already rich with love, and you will absolutely adore living alone. Once you get there, you will realize that it would take a truly exceptional connection to merit giving that up. Hold out for it.

When you feel like you have to choose between loving others well and wanting to hold them to your own moral code (which, despite everything you’ve been taught, they are not – in any way – obligated to adhere to), choose love. Every time. Your moral code will change as you learn and grow, and you will regret the harm that you did before you knew better. But you will never regret loving extravagantly. 

Love extravagantly.

Love yourself. To quote Tova Goodman’s six-word memoir, “Little me would’ve liked big me.”

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