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Archive for the ‘Spiderweb’ Category

Happy Friday! I’m looking forward to some fun friend hangs over the next few days, as I enjoy a long weekend. Otherwise, I’ll be hunkered down with some good books and rewatching Scandal. Good times.

  • I really love Katie Chalcraft’s piece on grief and wonder and dying and relief and loss. 
  • Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower was one of my book clubs’ selections this month. More and more, when I read dystopian fiction (and this book in particular seems less fiction than prediction, which is upsetting), I find myself thinking, “No, thanks.” I’m not sure I’d want to survive. Like, I’d like to think I’d want to. I’d like to think that I would use all these things I know to rough it and get my apocalypse on and rebuild society, but realistically? I’m so tired. I mean, I would do my best and help as much as I could before I shuffled off this mortal coil. But I don’t even particularly enjoy taking walks outside (I mean, it’s alright. Just not my first choice. Even exercising is better inside.). Why would I want to live there, or how committed am I to learning how to build a house (which I would eventually have to do if I ever wanted to not live outside)? And if I had to clean my own water, or do without indoor plumbing or A/C? It’s just so much. If others want to make this grand effort to save the species, that’s fine. I get it. Good for them, I guess. But if most of the people I love are dead and the best I have to hope for is living off the land, it just seems like a lot of work for a life I wouldn’t want. 
  • Speaking of things that are just so much trouble – Your First Date is a Reconnaissance Mission by Jennie Young.
  • I enjoy that this article on why Gen Z loves Gilmore Girls is full of not only unabashed adoration but also common critiques of the show. 
  • I like a good pairing. Cheese and wine. Boots and leggings. Coffee and…anything. I am intrigued by Modern Mrs. Darcy’s recommendations on which nonfiction and fiction books to read in tandem. I ordered Philosophy for Polar Explorers, as The Ministry of Time is on my TBR in a couple of months.

I hope you have a good day and a fun weekend!

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“We are all stardust and stories.”
Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea

A large portion of my life – and, I think, in all our lives – is wrapped up in story. I read so much because I typically find something in every book that enriches my perspective or reminds me of someone or something important to me. It keeps my mind active and curious.

You don’t have to read to understand the wealth of a well-told story, though. We all wrap our lives in the narratives we share to show who we are and where we’re coming from.

I’ve got some exciting plans this month, including the Celebrate Life 5K, Empty Bowls, Spiderdead, and Dewey’s Readathon. At work, it’s Fall Preview this Saturday and information sessions for student staff selection for next year all month. I’m sure there will be a Halloween party or two somewhere in there as well.

While the calendar looks busy, I don’t want to get lost in an endless sea of tasks. I have blocked out lots of time for stories, and I’m excited about my list.

Book Clubs

Reading Challenges

I think this is the month I finish the Libro.fm challenge! I have three more prompts left, and this is what I’m reading for them:

Plus a few more to work on other challenges:

They Never Learn by Layne Fargo

  • An academic thriller (52 Book Club)

Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood

  • Women in STEM (52 Book Club)

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

  • An LGBTQ+ romance (POPSUGAR)

The Witches Are Coming by Lindy West

  • Read a book about media literacy (Book Riot)

Cozy Fall

My September reads felt pretty brutal. For example, one of my book clubs read a book that centered around the events that could lead to nuclear war, and another read a book about a prison fight club that was televised like reality TV. Both of those books were good, but they were also violent and heavy. This month, as I feel like my year has been heavy enough all on its own, thanks, I am going to dive into something cozier, or at least books with a satisfying resolution.

I have a couple of Phryne Fisher ebooks checked out from the library that I want to finish, and I want to start the Poe Baxter series by ACF Bookens. May go for the next book in the Finlay Donovan series. A couple of my book clubs are reading choose-your-own-adventure style with a spooky theme, and many of those selections are cozy in nature (except for The Reformatory – but I’m almost finished with it and it’s good enough to make an exception). And who doesn’t love books about bookshops (rhetorical – the right answer is “nobody”):

I hope you get to dive into some good stories this month or at least have the space to share a few of your own!

I’m sharing reading reflections this month. Click here to see the list!

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“Radiation is going fine. No side effects. Just a little tired.” Except we’re a good bit into July, and I’m just now posting my TBR. And it’s a big one! Fortunately, my reading is still on track, so I’ve finished a couple of these and started several more already.

I have the Dewey’s Reverse Readathon (reverse in that it starts at 8:00 p.m. instead of 8:00 a.m. like their usual readathon does) coming up at the end of the month, but I also have some use-it-or-lose-it comp time to eat up at work, so I’m looking for other days to do my own little reading staycation at some point. 

In other words, plenty of time to read all these books.

Book Clubs

Reading Challenges

I am juggling so many reading challenges I’m not sure which books I’m reading for what anymore. I just pick the top one off the stack and dive in. So far, it seems to be working out just fine.

First the summer challenges:

Adding some that fit specific prompts for the other challenges:

  • 52 Book Club
  • Libro.fm
  • POPSUGAR
    • Wolfpack by Abby Wambach (a book about women’s sports and/or by a woman athlete)
    • The Bees by Laline Paull (a book from an animal’s POV)
  • Book Riot
    • City of Ghosts by V. E. Schwab (read a middle grade horror novel)
    • Cattywampus by Ash Van Otterloo (read a middle grade book with an LGBTQIA character)
    • The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston (read a book about books – also my beach read selection for Follow the Reader book club this month)
  • Overeducated Women With Cats
    • Distant Star by Roberto Bolaño (a novella under 150 pages)
    • House Rules by Jodi Picoult (a book with a neurodivergent protagonist)
  • Nowhere
    • Mrs. Quinn’s Rise to Fame by Olivia Ford (2024 debut release)
    • Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (book that came out four years ago – also my fantasy selection for Rise and Shine book club this month)

Well, that’s a lot. But many of them are short, so maybe they’ll be quick reads. I think I can make a pretty big dent in this list if I get to put aside all the time I hope for this month. Wish me luck!

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I spent last Friday driving up to Broken Bow to hang out with my art collective and make plans for the upcoming year. We stayed a few days and returned on Monday. It was relaxing and wonderful and good to just do one thing at a time for a minute. I forgot how grounding that is. I should do more of that in my regular life – slowing down enough to focus on each thing.

Here are some things I’ve read in the last couple of weeks. Hope you enjoy!

  • I stole this right out of Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Links I Love this week because I love this idea. I typically assume “I mean this genuinely and with no subtext” with most texts, but sometimes there IS subtext and I miss it because my brain is very face-value in its interpretation. That can cause issues. The thought of having confirmation of my assumption in writing is comforting.
  • At Midnight: 15 Beloved Fairy Tales Reimagined compiled by Dahlia Adler – I love a good fairytale retelling. I enjoyed most of the ones in this book, and I found a few new-to-me authors I want to read more from. I enjoy that the end of the book included the original fairytales for readers who want to compare and contrast. 
  • Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin – I started this one a couple of months ago when one of our book clubs at work discussed it, and I just finished it this weekend. It lived up to the hype for me, even though it’s on a topic I know next to nothing about. I especially recommend it to people who enjoy video games, particularly online RPGs. I don’t want to spoil anything, but suffice it to say my favorite part is the saddest part. I love how the author wrote that plot point so much that if I were teaching a writing class, I would have them read this book so we can analyze the way it was crafted.
  • The One-in-a-Million Boy by Monica Wood – I think this was another Modern Mrs. Darcy recommendation, and my book club loved it. It has themes of grief, estranged relationships, healing, chosen family, and redemption. One member said it was probably her favorite book she’s read all year. The characters are endearing, and even if you don’t like one of them, it’s easy to see why they act the way they do because they’re well-written and well-developed. I don’t think I would have picked it up based on the description or the cover, so I’m glad I saw the recommendation.
  • I’m pondering my theme for next year, and as is often the case around this time of the year, I have been noticing a certain word standing out among the crowd. It keeps popping up in the newsletters I’m subscribed to, and it is often the subject in social media reels or podcasts that meander across my feed. Susan Cain’s new community sounds like it would be a great way to explore the theme that’s currently in the running for first place. If it’s at all cost-effective, I am definitely interested. 

I hope you all have a good weekend!

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Besides my sister, there is only one friend I grew up with about whom I can say we are even closer today than we were back then.

That friend is Sarah.

We went to school together in Childress, and we hung out at school (and outside of it, too, when I was allowed). Even then, she was perpetually cool and always up for an adventure. We had very different experiences growing up, but Sarah has always been someone who can be trusted with my hopes and dreams (even when those dreams are a romance novel I wrote in 6th grade).

(Photo credit – ? Did Stephen take this picture?)

Years went by, and we saw each other around Denton occasionally, but then she invited me to a book club at her house. A chance to reconnect – and over books?! Of course, I’m in! I’m so glad she thought to include me, because the book club is wonderful, but even more than that, because she reached out, today I get to count her among my closest friends.

One of my favorite things about Sarah is her encyclopedic knowledge of so many fascinating people and things. I loooove learning new things, and I always learn something new around her. Without Sarah, I would not know…

…what deep listening is.

…that Booked Up (RIP) ever existed or half as much about Larry McMurtry (also RIP) as I know now.

…about Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s podcast Wiser Than Me. I’ve only listened to her interviews with Jane Fonda, Isabel Allende, and Ruth Reichl (three people, by the way, who would be in my top ten most coveted interviewees if I were to host such a podcast), and I’m hooked.

…and so much more. Sarah has a way of recommending things to me that she knows I’ll love. She’s an incredible listener and has an amazing memory. I can listen to her for hours.

(Photo credit – Kara Dry)

She is the first person I performed with at a Spiderweb event. In fact, she’s the first person I performed with (outside of church, if you count that) since grad school. I love collaborating with her; I think we work together pretty well.

Sarah is generous with her knowledge, her time, her home, and her coffee.

And her pets.

She’s one of the only people who has a standing invitation to my parents’ farm “whether I come with her or not,” according to Dad.

Sarah, I love you, and I’m so proud of you and all you have accomplished. You inspire me and feed me and love me so well, and I’m lucky we’re friends.

Also – shameless plug – everyone go to Molten Plains Fest in December. This is the second year Sarah and Ernesto have organized it, and it’s going to be AMAZING.

I love you, friend, and I hope your birthday (and every day) is fantastic.

(Photo credit – Ellie Alonzo)

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What day even is it? Is this a real Friday? Am I real?

Between starting to talk about how we are going to make the switch between my now-job and my new-job and having two days off in the middle of the week to focus on writing, this week has been an exercise in transition and exception. But it’s been a good one (I think? I’m pretty sure it’s been OK overall. I’m gonna need people to stop shooting into crowds, though, and I’m gonna need changes to the system that would make these rampant shootings less likely. You know, per usual.). We did get free food at work yesterday, and I have had a lot of cherries (cherries are really good right now), so there’s that.

Also, I’ve been reading some things I really enjoyed. Here are some things you might enjoy, too.

  • Breath by James Nestor – This was a fascinating subject. It was a little lighter on the science than I expected, but it was a good read anyway. The author outlined how the way we breathe (as a species) has altered our skeletal structure and may be a big part of the reason so many have respiratory issues. There are also some excellent breathing exercises at the end of the book and even if I’d hated the rest of it, it would have been worth the read for those. 
  • The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie – As expected, a solid introduction to the Poirot character. I forgot how much I like her writing. The ending was predictable, so there was room to grow from her first book in this series, and I’m excited to see how it progresses as I read through the series.
  • “Don’t ask me if I’m free” – I feel this in my bones. I mean, I wouldn’t leave Mom to fend for herself after surgery just so I could brunch with Beyoncé (or any celebrity, to be clear). But otherwise, yes. 
  • Rivermouth by Alejandra Oliva – A memoir from an immigration activist about helping people at the border and a masterpiece on sitting in the various tensions of this issue. My favorite parts of the book were the parts in Spanish that she didn’t translate, the effect of which was to illustrate the frustration of navigating in a language in which I understand the overall gist but am not anywhere close to fluent. Highly recommend – 4.5 stars.
  • This essay on book club fails is a wild ride (well, a book-nerdy wild ride, which admittedly is probably closer to a somewhat spirited saunter for most people). I feel like the writer makes some valid points but also has some expectations that exemplify the rigidity that is often responsible for sending a well-intentioned book club into an early grave. Book clubs, like all social endeavors, have to be able to breathe a little. Yes, the discussion is better if people show up and have read the book. But if you want to build a lasting book club, people have to be able to miss or not finish the book occasionally without it being considered a failure, especially the first few years you are meeting (and I would argue even after that). At my book club that has been meeting the longest, we get excited if most of us have even started the book, and if only a couple of us have finished it, we still talk about other books and enjoy each other’s company (and omg the food – Brenda and our book club can put out quite a spread). And I get the frustration of going to the trouble to make something a priority and putting in the effort to plan one’s own work/life schedule around it only to have the time changed at the last minute. I second that emotion hard.  But even if you do have a regular time when the book club meets every month…sometimes things come up. If the host or most of the members can’t make the regularly scheduled time, it makes sense to be flexible. Talking about books is always ultimately worth whatever effort it takes to make it happen. 

I’m happy the weekend is almost here. I’m spending most of Saturday reading and cleaning and hanging with some people I haven’t seen in a while that night. On Sunday, I get to book club with Follow the Reader, so that will be fun. I hope you have a good weekend, too!

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Tomorrow is my dad’s birthday (and also Earth Day). And the phone call I make to him may be the only thing I do tomorrow. Last weekend and this week have been full of fun things, but at this moment, the keyword there is “full.” I need a day. Well, I need a month. But I get a day, and I’ll take it.

Speaking of fun things, here are a few exciting happenings that are coming up soon (like, tonight soon) and a couple of books I had feelings about.

  1. Tonight! Our duo (Sarah and I), They Say The Wind Made Them Crazy, is playing at Rubber Gloves. In fact, the whole show is going to be great. If you’re local, hope to see you there!
  2. Dr. Devon Price’s book Laziness Does Not Exist has been on my TBR for a while, so I’m delighted that this program about creating adaptable educational environments to make them more accessible is coming to UNT next week.
  3. Spiderweb is hosting an open mic night at Rubber Gloves next Tuesday. I haven’t decided if I’m going to read one of the pieces I’ve been working on or just observe, but it should be a good time.
  4. Where the Rhythm Takes You by Sarah Dass – What this main character needs is a sounding board. Someone she will actually confide in (as she already has many people she could confide in if she could put aside her pride long enough to do so). Because I wasn’t prepared for it to be me. Oh, I tried. I listened sympathetically as well as I could. Several times, I said (yes, out loud – you’re welcome, neighbors) that she should stop being clueless (you know things have to be hella obvious if even I pick up on them) and just have a conversation with the dude. Or her father. Or her best friend. Or maybe find a nice grief counselor. But alas, she could not hear me as we are both fictional in each other’s worlds. So instead, it was hours of repetitive whining about not knowing where she stood with other people, particularly the guy. I believe the audiobook reader captured the character’s voice perfectly. Unfortunately, her voice is super melodramatic, which grated on my nerve, because it’s hard to sustain constant, invested empathy, which is what seems to be expected when Every. Word. Is. Stressed.  Even when she’s just walking somewhere and sees someone in the far distance she has even the slightest twinge of beef with for any reason, it was told with Big Feelings. It is especially difficult when the character’s main conflict is her own stubborn insistence on making assumptions and thus constantly getting in her own way. It seems like I didn’t enjoy it, but I didn’t have any trouble finishing it. I did have to take a nap when it was over, though.
  5. One of Us Is Lying by Karen M. McManus – We read this YA selection for our church book club, and we all seemed to like it a lot. The plot moved along at a good, steady pace, and I found myself rooting for (almost) all of the characters. I would have five-star loved this book in junior high/high school, but it was thoroughly enjoyable even in my jaded adulthood.

What are you looking forward to the most this weekend/upcoming week?

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December TBR

Hello to the end of the year. Or the beginning of the year, if you prefer to go by the liturgical calendar.

Anyway, a transitional time.

This month, I should easily meet my reading goal for the year, and I hope to finish at least one of the reading challenges I have been working on. I’m sure there will be a recap or five later in the month about what I’ve read, what I liked the most, what surprised me, what I learned, etc. 

But for now, the last TBR of 2022.

Book Clubs

Reading Challenges

For my GirlXOXO selection this month, I chose the keyword “night,” so the Calvino classic listed above that Follow the Reader is reading will do nicely. I’m mainly going to focus on one of the challenges because I’m so close to finishing the 52 Book Club Challenge. I’ve started most of the ones that I have left, so the odds are in my favor. 

  • A second person narrative – Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson
  • A book picked based on its spine – The Saturday Book: 26, edited by John Hadfield
  • A book that has an alternate title – The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman
  • A book that intimidates you – Welcome Home by Najwa Zebian. Zebian’s Instagram is challenging, in the very best way. I expect that I will have a lot of intense feelings while reading this book.
  • Author published in more than one genre – When the Sky Fell on Splendor by Emily Henry
  • Job title in title – Weather Girl by Rachel Lynn Solomon


Library/Series/Just Because

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We’re all mad here.

I love costumes. I usually dress up as food (e.g., one year for Halloween, I was a strawberry milkshake), but this year, I am the Mad Hatter. It’s so much fun. The spool sash took forever but is definitely my favorite part of the outfit. One of my coworkers squeals, “You’re so cute!” every time she walks by. I enjoy that.

I can be fairly sensitive and serious, but any chance I get to insert a little whimsy into my life, I jump at it. I love opportunities to be creative, and I notice that I do better mentally when I make an effort to seek them out. To that end, I track creative tasks as part of my ongoing goal-setting for the year. This year, I have eight categories I’m tracking, and while I have specific goals for each (see parentheses below), I try to work most of them in as often as possible:

  • Writing – My writing job and blogging basically track themselves, so I limit this category to other projects, such as poetry, fiction, and newsletter or journal submissions (at least four times a week).
  • Needlework – Most of this is knitting, but I also have been playing around with embroidery and cross stitch (at least twice a week).
  • Piano – I have been working through a book of sonatas, trying to keep my sight-reading skills fresh, but I’m also (slowly) composing a piece. It’s the first song I have written since I busted out “Texas Is the Place for Me” for a piano recital when I was in junior high, but unlike that little gem, this one is strictly instrumental (at least twice a week).
  • Art journal – I have a lush-themed art journal for the year as well as an ongoing scrapbook sort of thing. I also include coloring in this because most of those pages serve as page backdrops or cover art for my various art journals (at least three times a week).
  • Cooking/baking – Is cooking creative? It is the way I do it. Also, have you seen Pie Lady Books? But even if it’s not that elaborate, I like playing around with ingredients and seeing how it turns out (at least once a week, but usually more, especially if I have several free days/evenings).
  • Collaboration – Creative tasks are even more fun with other people. Choir practice and jam sessions are typically how this pans out, but the occasional studio or art party counts, too (at least once but often twice a week).
  • Performance – I usually sing with the choir in service on Sunday mornings, but I’ve been dipping my toe into being on other stages for the last couple of years. I have a performance coming up in the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned if you’re local (at least four times a month).
  • Miscellaneous – Dang, I love a craft project. I like figuring out how to build or make things, especially if I can use them to decorate or accessorize. At any point in time, I likely have three or four projects in process, and the only reason there aren’t more is that I am limited on space (at least twice a week).

Speaking of goal tracking, I would be remiss if I did not wrap up this month of writing about creating a lush life without revealing the specific things I have been trying to put into practice on a regular basis this year. I didn’t set a specific goal number for them; I’m mostly just logging them for informational purposes. There are five main categories that I use to track lush living:

  • Cozy – Big surprise there, I know. This category is super broad. Any day that includes sufficient cozy elements (this category is also super vague) gets a check mark. Mostly, this is an opportunity to reflect at the end of each day on whether I have made time for myself to relax.
  • Pleasure/self-care – Closely related to cozy (and sometimes they do overlap), this category is more for specific self-care actions like facials and getting my hair done and foot soaks.
  • Socializing – If left to my own devices, I will hermit away and hardly ever leave the house. But several things I’ve talked about this month involve actually connecting with other people, so I give myself a little shout-out in my goal chart when I do something social.
  • Journaling – Sometimes this seems like too much navel-gazing (particularly this month when I’m also journaling daily-ish online), but it is vital to my mental health. I’m so much more grounded when I take a little time every day to write my thoughts out. My journals bounce between total stream of consciousness and well-organized, multi-tiered arguments. It’s a wild ride. I may have to appoint someone to burn them when I die.
  • Adulting – For lack of a better term. I tend to procrastinate unpleasant tasks until I am desperate to get them done. This is unnecessarily stressful and counterproductive when it comes to living a lush life. In addition to putting the week’s to-do list in my planner, I give myself credit for each task in my chart, and it’s working so well that I’m going to keep doing it next year.

And that’s the end. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this series of posts on creating a lush life as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them. Hopefully, you found the occasional nugget that can help you make your life a little lusher, too.

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The cute kitchen where we made meals together on Cape Cod

I have a busy calendar this month, and I’ve (sort of) accepted that I’m not going to make it to everything. Yesterday, for example, was National Coming Out Day, and my art collective partnered with a local advocacy group to host an open mic. I had planned to go but was utterly drained by the end of the day, so I went home and went to bed early instead. Tonight there is a performance that I want to attend, and I am hoping to make it. I am mourning the days when I had the energy to plow through a full day of work (or school), go to class or meetings in the evening, and then still go out afterward and have no problem getting up and doing it all again the next day.

Or am I just forgetting how tired I was then?

A big part of the reason I keep putting things on the calendar and trying to make it is that I firmly believe that showing up is part of community care. I have been in groups that practice mutual compassion well, and I have been in places where it was every person for themselves. I’ve had friends who cooked me meals and did my dishes when I was sick. I’ve also had times when I felt so alone I wondered how long it would take for someone to find my body if I died. Self-care is important, but community care is equally essential.

Sharing resources and helping when it’s needed are both aspects of community care. Maintaining connections, listening to others’ points of view, showing up, and offering validation are vital components, too. I know I shouldn’t feel like I’m failing my friends when I just can’t make it to an event after a difficult day, but the feeling persists. It’s hard to shake the notion that, if I were practicing lush life correctly, I would have the time and the energy to do so.

Perhaps part of lush living is letting go of my lingering perfectionism. Or remembering that I, too, am included in community and thus am allowed to receive/take care when needed.

I’m writing about what lush life is (and isn’t) this month.

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