Half the office was out sick earlier this week. It was madness. I’m so tired, and despite all the work I’ve done every single second when I’m there, I still feel behind. Also, I have ingested about a vat and a half of Emergen-C. So…come at me, germs (actually, please do not come at me. Just continue staying far away, germs. That goes for you, too, allergens. Do not want.).
But I got to go to Molten Plains on Wednesday and I get to go to cookbook club tonight in my pajamas. So the week is pretty decent overall.
Speaking of Molten Plains, the second Molten Plains Fest is going to be at Rubber Gloves on December 8-9. You can see a list of artists and sign up for updates here. It’s going to be amazing!
My friend Shadan (host of cookbook club) is writing/has mostly written a cookbook, and her publisher wants her to have a more solid social media following. Highly recommend – I’ve learned so much about food from her. Follow @shadankp on the Instagram and TikTok.
As is my custom every autumn, I am reflecting on my resolutions to see how far I’ve come and how much I have left to do (and also whether I still want to do them or if I’ve come up with an even better plan ). One thing that is helping me with my weekly creative goal-setting (and goal-meeting) is DIY MFA. The information on this site is solid, and it helps me organize and prioritize in a way that makes sense to my brain rather than just dumping everything into one big to-do list that never fully gets done.
Finally, I’m calling it. It’s officially Cozy Reading Season (™). If you love mysteries with lovable characters, ACF Bookens would be right up your alley.
I hope you’ve had a good week, but even if it’s been a mess, I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Tomorrow is my dad’s birthday (and also Earth Day). And the phone call I make to him may be the only thing I do tomorrow. Last weekend and this week have been full of fun things, but at this moment, the keyword there is “full.” I need a day. Well, I need a month. But I get a day, and I’ll take it.
Speaking of fun things, here are a few exciting happenings that are coming up soon (like, tonight soon) and a couple of books I had feelings about.
Tonight! Our duo (Sarah and I), They Say The Wind Made Them Crazy, is playing at Rubber Gloves. In fact, the whole show is going to be great. If you’re local, hope to see you there!
Dr. Devon Price’s book Laziness Does Not Exist has been on my TBR for a while, so I’m delighted that this program about creating adaptable educational environments to make them more accessible is coming to UNT next week.
Spiderweb is hosting an open mic night at Rubber Gloves next Tuesday. I haven’t decided if I’m going to read one of the pieces I’ve been working on or just observe, but it should be a good time.
Where the Rhythm Takes You by Sarah Dass – What this main character needs is a sounding board. Someone she will actually confide in (as she already has many people she could confide in if she could put aside her pride long enough to do so). Because I wasn’t prepared for it to be me. Oh, I tried. I listened sympathetically as well as I could. Several times, I said (yes, out loud – you’re welcome, neighbors) that she should stop being clueless (you know things have to be hella obvious if even I pick up on them) and just have a conversation with the dude. Or her father. Or her best friend. Or maybe find a nice grief counselor. But alas, she could not hear me as we are both fictional in each other’s worlds. So instead, it was hours of repetitive whining about not knowing where she stood with other people, particularly the guy. I believe the audiobook reader captured the character’s voice perfectly. Unfortunately, her voice is super melodramatic, which grated on my nerve, because it’s hard to sustain constant, invested empathy, which is what seems to be expected when Every. Word. Is. Stressed. Even when she’s just walking somewhere and sees someone in the far distance she has even the slightest twinge of beef with for any reason, it was told with Big Feelings. It is especially difficult when the character’s main conflict is her own stubborn insistence on making assumptions and thus constantly getting in her own way. It seems like I didn’t enjoy it, but I didn’t have any trouble finishing it. I did have to take a nap when it was over, though.
One of Us Is Lying by Karen M. McManus – We read this YA selection for our church book club, and we all seemed to like it a lot. The plot moved along at a good, steady pace, and I found myself rooting for (almost) all of the characters. I would have five-star loved this book in junior high/high school, but it was thoroughly enjoyable even in my jaded adulthood.
What are you looking forward to the most this weekend/upcoming week?
I’m excited about this weekend and the upcoming month. Lots of fun stuff happening in April – a couple of performances, some time with friends I haven’t seen in a while, and maybe even making some leeway on a couple of writing projects.
And books. Lots of books.
Here are three things I enjoyed and two things I’m looking forward to:
Of Mess and Moxie by Jen Hatmaker – I’m a little behind the times reading this one, as her family has changed somewhat, but it still rang true and was a good read. It made me laugh and tear up, just like it was meant to. I feel like I would really like her in person, but I switched from the audiobook to the print version halfway through because I felt like she was yelling at me and it made me tired.
National Poetry Month begins tomorrow, and what better way to start than with Lover by Ada Limón.
Is it cheating to link you to other lists of links? Do I even care if I’m cheating? If it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right, because Toby’s list on Joy the Baker’s Let It Be Sunday post was notably fantastic this week. My favorite link was to Courtney Martin’s 10 thoughts on building a life you love. “Stay humble. Stay magical.” The comments section of Martin’s piece is pretty golden, too.
Of Walking in Ice by Werner Herzog – Herzog’s journal from when he walked from Munich to Paris to visit his mentor Lotte Eisner as she was dying, with the conviction that she wouldn’t die as long as he was walking. It’s a collection of images he found along the way and his observations about the people (and the birds and the heaps of trash and the mice) he encountered. It’s a very lonely little book, and while “enjoyed” isn’t exactly the right word for how I experienced it, it is beautiful in its own way. I am glad to have read it as a witness to his journey.
Tomorrow, Wenepa (my improvisational ambient noise group) is performing for KUZUthon from 5:20 (or 5:30? Anyway – later in the 5:00 hour)-5:40 (CST). The performances and interviews will be streaming on kuzu.fm, so tune in if you’re free!
I love costumes. I usually dress up as food (e.g., one year for Halloween, I was a strawberry milkshake), but this year, I am the Mad Hatter. It’s so much fun. The spool sash took forever but is definitely my favorite part of the outfit. One of my coworkers squeals, “You’re so cute!” every time she walks by. I enjoy that.
I can be fairly sensitive and serious, but any chance I get to insert a little whimsy into my life, I jump at it. I love opportunities to be creative, and I notice that I do better mentally when I make an effort to seek them out. To that end, I track creative tasks as part of my ongoing goal-setting for the year. This year, I have eight categories I’m tracking, and while I have specific goals for each (see parentheses below), I try to work most of them in as often as possible:
Writing – My writing job and blogging basically track themselves, so I limit this category to other projects, such as poetry, fiction, and newsletter or journal submissions (at least four times a week).
Needlework – Most of this is knitting, but I also have been playing around with embroidery and cross stitch (at least twice a week).
Piano – I have been working through a book of sonatas, trying to keep my sight-reading skills fresh, but I’m also (slowly) composing a piece. It’s the first song I have written since I busted out “Texas Is the Place for Me” for a piano recital when I was in junior high, but unlike that little gem, this one is strictly instrumental (at least twice a week).
Art journal – I have a lush-themed art journal for the year as well as an ongoing scrapbook sort of thing. I also include coloring in this because most of those pages serve as page backdrops or cover art for my various art journals (at least three times a week).
Cooking/baking – Is cooking creative? It is the way I do it. Also, have you seen Pie Lady Books? But even if it’s not that elaborate, I like playing around with ingredients and seeing how it turns out (at least once a week, but usually more, especially if I have several free days/evenings).
Collaboration – Creative tasks are even more fun with other people. Choir practice and jam sessions are typically how this pans out, but the occasional studio or art party counts, too (at least once but often twice a week).
Performance – I usually sing with the choir in service on Sunday mornings, but I’ve been dipping my toe into being on other stages for the last couple of years. I have a performance coming up in the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned if you’re local (at least four times a month).
Miscellaneous – Dang, I love a craft project. I like figuring out how to build or make things, especially if I can use them to decorate or accessorize. At any point in time, I likely have three or four projects in process, and the only reason there aren’t more is that I am limited on space (at least twice a week).
Speaking of goal tracking, I would be remiss if I did not wrap up this month of writing about creating a lush life without revealing the specific things I have been trying to put into practice on a regular basis this year. I didn’t set a specific goal number for them; I’m mostly just logging them for informational purposes. There are five main categories that I use to track lush living:
Cozy – Big surprise there, I know. This category is super broad. Any day that includes sufficient cozy elements (this category is also super vague) gets a check mark. Mostly, this is an opportunity to reflect at the end of each day on whether I have made time for myself to relax.
Pleasure/self-care – Closely related to cozy (and sometimes they do overlap), this category is more for specific self-care actions like facials and getting my hair done and foot soaks.
Socializing – If left to my own devices, I will hermit away and hardly ever leave the house. But several things I’ve talked about this month involve actually connecting with other people, so I give myself a little shout-out in my goal chart when I do something social.
Journaling – Sometimes this seems like too much navel-gazing (particularly this month when I’m also journaling daily-ish online), but it is vital to my mental health. I’m so much more grounded when I take a little time every day to write my thoughts out. My journals bounce between total stream of consciousness and well-organized, multi-tiered arguments. It’s a wild ride. I may have to appoint someone to burn them when I die.
Adulting – For lack of a better term. I tend to procrastinate unpleasant tasks until I am desperate to get them done. This is unnecessarily stressful and counterproductive when it comes to living a lush life. In addition to putting the week’s to-do list in my planner, I give myself credit for each task in my chart, and it’s working so well that I’m going to keep doing it next year.
And that’s the end. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this series of posts on creating a lush life as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them. Hopefully, you found the occasional nugget that can help you make your life a little lusher, too.
It’s all well and good to create a home environment that is lush and cozy. For me, what makes decor even better is to have pieces made by beloved friends or things I’ve crafted with my own two hands. I use coloring pages to recover plain journals or as a backdrop to poetry written on scraps of paper in my art journals. All the blankets I have are either quilts made by MeMaw or Aunt Edna, throws I’ve knitted, or the large fleece blankets with knotted edges that my mom helped me make when I was sick enough to need to stay still but just well enough to be bored.
As an added bonus, a lot of the DIY craft work I do is mentally soothing.
As a writer and a musician, I am used to pouring my creativity into things you can hear. I have my favorite words, and I love exquisite phrases. I spend at least an hour a week sight-reading new pieces on the piano and practicing old favorites to keep my fingers limber. My friend Sarah has introduced me to the wonderful world of experimental sound, and the skills I continue to hone after decades of playing help me be more playful and spontaneous during improv.
One thing I have discovered in the last few years, though, is that I love being surrounded by things I’ve created that I can see or touch. I adore making my home a place that tells my unique story to anyone who walks in. Both the process and the outcome of crafting are therapeutic. It quiets my soul, and that is a very lush feeling.
This weekend was the Denton Arts and Jazz Fest. There was a time when I wouldn’t have dreamed of missing it, even though until recently it was at the end of April, at the height of allergy season for me. I went every year. I would go on Friday if there was something special I wanted to see, but I was definitely there all day Saturday and at least in the evening for Brave Combo on Sunday. I just accepted that I wouldn’t really get a weekend off to reset socially, and it was worth it to me. I had a lot of fun at Jazz Fest, and I didn’t want to miss out.
I also got terribly sick at the end of each semester. I always thought it was just the stress/relief of finishing classes, but looking back, I’m not so sure. Thanksgiving through December was always busy with holiday travel and huge gatherings and shopping (and it was before the internet, so it was all in person *shudders*) and the local tree lighting festival, and the end of the spring semester was banquets and graduations and Jazz Fest. After I finished my last final (or, once I started teaching, handed in my grades), I took a breath and paused for a moment, and that was my body’s cue to shut down for about a week. I was alarmed the first couple of times it happened, but then I just accepted it.
I’ve learned how to avoid it now, but it does come at a price.
I need a lot of alone time. My specific concoction of introverted, socially anxious, sensory sensitive, and whatever else happens to be going on requires a certain amount of downtime to regroup, or I will get sick. It takes me a couple of hours every night to wind down, and I need at least two nights off a week when I just come home and decompress. It’s also imperative that I have at least two consecutive days a month in which I come home the night before the first day and don’t leave again until the morning after the second. Ideally, at least one weekend will be free for this to happen, but if not, I know I will need to take the appropriate amount of time off work to ensure that it does. To really thrive, I need more alone time than I’ve described here, but that’s the minimum. If I want to stay well, it’s not optional.
I suspect there are a lot of people for whom a great amount of solitude is necessary. I just don’t hear a lot of them talk about it. Maybe we’ve been taught to be ashamed that we can’t handle that much stimulation all the time without any real breaks like others seem to be able to. If that’s you, and no one has told you this yet, let me state clearly – there’s nothing wrong with you. Taking care of yourself is the right, responsible thing to do. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
I had hoped to go to Jazz Fest this weekend. One of the students I work with performed, and so did one of my friends’ bands that I haven’t seen in a long time. The original Blues Brothers band was there, and I always like looking at the booths (especially the jewelry) and camping out in front of the UNT stage on Sunday afternoon. Judging by the pictures on social media, I would have seen a lot of people I know and had a good time. I’m a little sad to have missed it.
But our cookbook club had a murder mystery dinner on Friday. We got to dress up and play catty characters. So much fun! And I spent last night jamming with some friends I get to perform with in November. This morning I went to church. I really like the study we’re doing now, and I got to sing in the choir. And tonight I sat by the fire with Spiderweb friends and watched (most of) The Mummy. It was a full, busy, lovely weekend that still left me with the large blocks of alone time I need to be ready for this week.
Sometimes it’s ok to miss good things. Lush life doesn’t mean you have to pack every waking moment with activities you love and force it all to fit. It means learning when not to.
My favorite part of this picture is the reflection of the sheet music in the black keys.
Other than the benefits and the frequent free food, one reason I stay at my full-time job is that I will be officially eligible to retire on August 1, 2030. That’s just eight years away (or seven years, nine months, and 27 days, but who’s counting). Assuming I am in a good financial position to do so at that point, this will allow me to dedicate significantly more time to what I actually want to be when/as I grow up.
An artist.
More specifically, a writer/musician/dancer, but I’m open to other forms of art. The relatively small amount of time I spend working on my works in progress, writing this blog, collaborating with Sarah and other friends, singing in the choir, and other artsy pursuits is what makes me come alive. It is my joy. Retiring this early will also afford me some flexibility in my schedule for attending performances (as well as performing in them) because there will be no office to report to the next morning. I can finally fully embrace the night owl I was born to be.
One of the most challenging realizations I’ve had this year while pondering what it means to live lushly is that doing a job that is consistent but doesn’t really allow me to use my strengths or do what I enjoy puts inherent limits on how much of such a life I can really have right now. Is it worth it? Is there something else I could be doing that would be more rewarding and still give me the stability I currently need? I don’t have answers to these questions yet, but the questions have prompted me to look for ways to incorporate my creative skills into the work I do and to be pickier about the things I volunteer for that don’t really fit my preferences.
At the very least, engaging in creative activities gives me something to look forward to, even if it’s not how I spend most of my time. I’m excited to go to choir practice tonight. And after taking a few years off, I signed up for NaNoWriMo next month. I’m going to try writing my novel in second person. That’s about as far into planning as I’ve gotten, which is actually good for this particular time frame because I write a lot faster as a pantser than a planner.
The prompts for the December Reflections Challenge for today and Sunday are “I said hello to…” and “I said goodbye to…” but I’m just going to put both in one post. There were some small adjustments that I made this year that are working out better for my schedule and my sanity.
I said hello to…
Rise and Shine Book Club (public library) – I always enjoy finding new people who like to talk about books, so joining the monthly discussion about different genres and recommendations within them was a sure win. I enjoyed both the online and the in-person versions, but I am definitely partial to meeting in person where there is coffee and free ARCs to take home.
RIC – Our church is exploring whether we want to be a Reconciling in Christ church, and the process has been a lot of work but it’s important to me, so it’s worth it. I think it’s going much more slowly than our team anticipated, but not necessarily because people are opposed. The feedback we have gotten from the people who are participating has been really positive; we just aren’t getting a lot of engagement from even some active members. We have a small church, which means those who are active are typically stretched pretty thin. So what comes across as apathy may just be the fact that they’re already committed to doing a lot of things with the church and are hesitant to commit to one more thing. We don’t want to rush a vote, though, because it’s important that as many people as possible understand what being inclusive (and thus the designation) means before we claim it as something we do. And this understanding requires engagement. This is probably not a good time for me to reflect on it, as I am currently pretty discouraged. Maybe people will be more enthusiastic about having these conversations in the new year.
Making an album – Probably the most exciting new thing of the year is the album I’m working on with Sarah. We are doing field recordings, playing instruments, singing hymns, and adding spoken word pieces (etc.) on the theme of growing up in West Texas. We are getting a lot of recordings together the days after Christmas. Someday, I’ll be able to share a link with you!
I said goodbye to…
Pilates – I mean, not really completely goodbye. I’ve been doing mat work at home and I still make a few classes a month. But I haven’t been to the studio as much this year as when I first started going. I wanted to start going back since being vaccinated but…it’s been so nice not having to wrangle it into my schedule, and I’ve gotten used to that. The studio only offers classes on Monday-Friday mornings from 6:00-11:00, Monday-Thursday evenings at 5:30, 6:30, and 7:30, and Saturday/Sunday mornings. This doesn’t really fit my life. If there was just an 8:30 or 9:00 class on a couple of weeknights, or if they offered Friday/Saturday/Sunday night classes, I would be able to make 8 times a month no problem. I might even upgrade my account to unlimited. As it is, though, scheduling is a struggle. Before the pandemic, I used to take a class every free weeknight I had (leaving me no actual free weeknights, which was not ideal for my mental health) or set an alarm on Saturday (OMG THE WORST I HATE IT) to go to a class then. If that didn’t fill out my 8 classes I was paying for each month, I would shift my entire work schedule some days so that I could make either the 5:30 p.m. class or the 7:00 a.m. class (see note above re: THE WORST). Now? I’m not so motivated to kill myself making it work. Turns out, I’d rather exercise at times that actually work with my existing schedule. That’s been working out pretty nicely.
Traditional grocery shopping/food service – I can count on one hand the number of times this year I walked into a grocery store or ate in a restaurant, and I LOVE IT. Curbside pickup is everything I never knew I always wanted, and I’m so happy it’s persisted in many of the places where I shop/dine. Occasionally, it’s a pain in the ass when they leave things out I need or when they don’t plan well enough to honor the times they list as available, but overall, it’s one of my favorite services, and I may never go back to the way things were before.
Are there any changes that have made life a little less stressful for you this year?
One of my favorite posts I’ve read this month is Kaitlin Curtice’s autumn checklist. As seasons change, there is often an anticipation or rush or dread (depending on what the particular upcoming season tends to do to me), but the transition almost always includes a slight change in habits to accommodate whatever lies ahead.
I keep a standard list of tasks that I know I need to do on a regular basis for my life to feel somewhat put-together or fulfilled or happy or joyful. It is divided into general categories, and I track specific tasks within each category by color-coding so that I have a record of how often I do them (or how long it’s been and thus how I might want to work it in the next few days). The list I’ve been working with most of the year includes things you might expect:
Creative outlets (work on a knitting project, cook a meal, write, read, and play piano)
Movement (dance, kickboxing, run/walk, Pilates, and strength training)
Basic self-care (proper hydration, good food, and socializing online or in person)
Housekeeping (cleaning bathroom, doing dishes, taking out trash, doing laundry, and tidying)
As I enter fall, I look for ways to add more coziness and connection to my days. I like the idea of adding fun social outings to the mix so that I don’t isolate too much while also safeguarding the untasked downtime that I know I need for maintaining decent mental health by not packing my schedule with more meetings and obligations that try to pass themselves off as a social life. That was a long sentence that basically boils down to remembering that my social/solitude balance is important.
My reading habits also tend to change as the days get shorter and the weather grows cooler. I don’t always read more in the fall and winter but I do tend to choose more things in my comfort zone, which includes a lot of mysteries and gothic literature and magical realism and foodie fiction/memoir. You’ll see a lot more about my reading habits in October during this year’s 31 days series (more details coming on Friday).
Fall self-care looks like:
Warm beverages, cozy blankets, and books
Listening to records
Re-bingeing comfort shows (currently – Bones and Suits, but I’m about to start Once Upon a Time over and maybe actually watch the whole thing this time)
Restful weekends with minimal commitments
Coffee dates
Making big vats of soup
Sitting around fires
Do your self-care practices change with the seasons? If so, how?
This week has been a little intense (some health things, some practical things, some Texas-summer-is-the-worst things), but I’m looking forward to the next couple of days. Maybe you want to enjoy a few of these things, too?
Playlist for The Magicians – Any time I really love a show or a book, I want a playlist that reminds me of it. The Magicians has a great soundtrack. I went to make one and found that there are already so many out there. This is a nice list to start with but this is definitely my dancing/reading/vegging vibe for tonight.
Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Readers’ Weekend – Minimal structure, maximum reading. Basically, the perfect weekend.
Suits Season 1 – I am rewatching this adorable show, starting this weekend. Yay!
Reconciling in Christ – our group is meeting on Sunday, and I’m glad my church is pursuing being more intentional about inclusion. This learning structure is not as…assertive…as I tend to be, but it’s a start.
Nectarines – I had a nectarine/cherry upside down cake at lunch and I forget every year how much I love nectarines but I think I’ll need some tomorrow. Maybe also apricots….
M. Suzanne Terry 