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Archive for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
Anne of Green Gables, L.M. Montgomery

This is the first October in a while that I’m not even attempting a 31 Days project. A few days ago, I mused on what I could do, but I dismissed the thought pretty quickly. I feel like I have enough projects underway. I’m satisfied with the number of goals I’m already working toward at this point in time. I did entertain the idea of talking through the process of taking a project from idea to completion, but…I don’t wanna. At least not right now.

I have a ridiculous number of library books checked out and on hold. I console myself with the knowledge that I’m returning about the same number as I check out each time I go. I’ve been reading up a storm lately – the streak continues! I don’t know if it’s due to an actual increase in focus or if it’s comfort-seeking due to the state of the world. Either way, both are typical anxiety responses for me, so that’s where I’m at.

Here’s what’s up next. I’ve started a lot of these already, so I should be able to complete quite a chunk of this list this month. 

Book Clubs

Two of my book clubs are reading books that I read with other clubs previously, so it will be fun to hear what a different group of folks has to say about each one. Ah, the joy of multiple book clubs!

  • The Women by Kristin Hannah – probably won’t re-read but excited to talk about it with this book club!
  • James by Percival Everett – ditto on the probably not re-reading it (although the audio was pretty great – maybe I will give it another listen at some point), but I’m also excited to talk about it again
  • Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado – fulfills both the choose-your-own-adventure spooky selection for book club and a Libro.fm prompt (see below)
  • Impossible Creatures by Katherine Rundell – this month’s theme is colorful covers!
  • On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen – reading with my financial literacy community – fantastic so far, although some of the chapters are more heavily focused on women with children than I expected. I may not be the primary audience, but I’m still learning valuable things from it.

The end of the year is nigh, and I’ve got some reading challenges to finish up! There are so, so many prompts left to finish, but hope springs eternal. This month, my goal is to at least make an impressive dent in what I have left of Nowhere’s Book Bingo (including bonuses) and the Libro.fm Listening Challenge

Nowhere

Libro.fm

  • Listen to an audiobook by an indigenous author – Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko
  • Read an audiobook about a historical figure and/or event – Kingmaker by Sonia Purnell
  • Listen to an anthology or a short story collection – Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado
  • Listen to an audiobook from an independent press – The Book of X by Sarah Rose Etter
  • Listen to an audiobook by a transgender author – Nevada by Imogen Binnie
  • Listen to a banned book – A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

I recognize that I’m probably not going to make it through all of these this month (unless some generous benefactor wants to pay me to read so I can quit my job and devote my whole life to it – I’m open to that), but I enjoy having a plan mapped out, even if it blatantly ignores all semblance of reality and the sticky construct of time.

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Happy Friday, friends. We made it. 

Here are some short reads and happy news that have made things easier for me this week/month.

  • A wonderful gift in my inbox this morning in the Shondaland newsletter – Rachel Simon’s series on moments and characters in TV that make us feel less alone. She’s specifically focusing on Grey’s Anatomy, and I especially like this one, but it would be easy to make the point for so many shows. 
  • I appreciate this article on The Tyranny of Being Reachable so much. I feel this in my bones. “In today’s culture, your responsiveness equals your worth. It’s a proxy for your love, your professionalism, your care.” And a paragraph down from that – “You’re not unreliable. The human brain just wasn’t built for this.” Thank you, Miski Omar from The Guardian. Thank you. 
  • Simplified’s fall collection comes out next week. This includes 2026 planners, and I’m delighted that they brought back the bookbound ones this year!
  • And finally, another thing I’m looking forward to – Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Fall Book Preview. September 18. You know it’s on my calendar.

Tonight we have our Summerween (Summer Halloween, if you will. Halloween is forever.) cookbook club. I made Butterfinger fudge because the colors match the theme, and I made a nice cheat-y recipe. Still delicious. It really is easy to make a passable fudge as long as you have a combo of sugar, milk, fat, and cocoa. Or, in this case, sweetened condensed milk (sugar and milk) and chocolate chips (fat and cocoa). 

I hope you have a great day and restful weekend.

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I’m sad today. My friend Des died. He was a gentle, kind person, and the world is worse without him in it. 

So much of my own grief and general sadness processing is so internal that it is a challenge for me to understand those who work these things out socially. Understanding is not necessary for acceptance, though, so I’m leaving this here as a reminder to myself not to isolate too much, for their sakes.

There’s a lot going on otherwise, too. Work and life and the world are all pretty overwhelming right now. 

One of the things I love about reading is that it’s not just a pastime. It’s a comfort, a balm, an inspiration, an excitement, a focus.  

Any month is a good mood-reading month, but reading exactly what I need at the time I need it is especially essential right now. There are a lot on this list, so this will likely extend into September. 

Book Clubs

Talking about books with other people is one of my favorite things.

Recommendations

I love when someone lends me a book they think I’ll like. I automatically feel closer to them when I read it. And then I get to see them and bond over what we liked about it when I give it back to them.

New Books

Ah, the excitement of a new release! I enjoy being among a book’s first readers (even if that group is in the millions). It’s a specific part of the larger global-ish book community that I particularly enjoy. It inspires me to keep working so that I may be able to experience it as an author someday. 

Also, I need to get these back to the library so folks in my larger local-ish book community who have them on hold can read them, too.

Series

When an author develops their characters well (or builds a fascinating world, or tells a great story), I will read (and sometimes re-read) every book in the series. I just can’t get enough.

Romance(ish)

When I need something lighthearted where everything works out in the end or at least a reminder that sometimes things do work out. If we can subvert some tired expectations and/or gender roles, throw some sunshine into a grump’s life, or redeem a villain – even better!

Comfort Reads

A bit of a catch-all category for anything homey, whimsical, charming, cozy, or quirky, these are tea and a warm blanket in book form. The characters are lovable, the storylines are typically low-risk/high-reward, and there is a general sweetness to all of it that is particularly useful when I feel like that sweetness is lacking everywhere else. Or there’s just really good food involved/promised.

Suspense/Mystery/Hardship/Oh My

When I need a reminder that things could always be worse and the stakes could always be higher (and historically/currently are for others). 

Inspiration/Motivation/Reflection

When I don’t just want to be reminded that things could be worse but also want to know more about what I can do about it.

As always, I reserve the right to read every book or no book on this list. Wherever the wind takes me.

Lots of love to you and your people, friends.

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First, in case anyone’s forgotten where I stand on things like welcoming the stranger and protecting the most vulnerable and not making money into an idol by screwing over everyone else to give tax breaks to the least vulnerable (otherwise known as generally following Jesus, not just the shallow husk of a god capitalist Americans have created in their image), there’s nothing beautiful about this bill – call your House representatives today and tell them to vote no and also to feel free to publicly shame their colleagues who are voting in favor of it. Loudly. With pointing.

*deep breath*

Now on to the books.

This month, I’m saying goodbye to Everand (formerly just Scribd). It has changed in the last year, and I’m not enjoying the new way they offer the service. It took me a couple of months to even figure out the new structure, and I still find it clunky.

It sucks a little that, with the cancellation, I’m losing titles that I’ve paid for. But the only unlocked title I still have on it that I am interested in and haven’t finished is Words Are My Matter, and I’m going to end up buying a printed copy of that one anyway. So I let it go. As just another subscription (especially one where the unused unlocks expire at the end of the month with no refund), it’s not something I’m interested in anymore. 

Speaking of lack of interest, I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump lately, which is unusual for me in summer. I think between the worry about my car issues, my budget changes, this country’s nonsense, and my parents’ health, I’ve just been blank and unmotivated in general for anything else. I’m going to carve out a little time this weekend to see if I can find something that holds my scrambled attention span long enough to finish it. 

Maybe something from a previous TBR this year? Maybe a book off my shelves at home that I haven’t read yet? Maybe some of these?

Book clubs:

Other books I’m looking forward to/need to take back to the library:

What are you reading these days?

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Happy Friday, folks! June is up and running! We are three down/ten to go with orientation sessions for new students and their parents this week, so it’s been busy at work. And tonight is Pridenton’s Night Out, and my church has a booth, so that’s my Friday night. Luckily, I have a few days off next week to go hang out with my parents, so that’s something to look forward to.

Additionally, this has been a great morning:

  • My sister came to visit at work (she is going on a trip and wanted to take her friends some of UNT’s special coffee blend from Voltage) and we got to have coffee and bagels together.
  • I got some excellent news that is really going to make my financial life easier.
  • I was able to help two students who were struggling/anxious about housing next year get exactly what they need.
  • One of my staff who has been on a tour with the UNT acapella choir is back and I get to hear his stories soon.
  • I get to have lunch on the square with the office folk today.

Here are some things I’ve enjoyed reading in the last few weeks (months? It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these):

  • As a member of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club (shameless plug) (which I originally typed “shameless plum” – I’m so hungry and also I may have just given myself an idea for a children’s book), I have been thinking a lot about value categories when it comes to my budget. These are the things that aren’t needs but that I still make room for in the budget because they bring me joy or enrich my life in some way. When I first joined the community, I had office supplies + stationery + accessories on my list because I love them so much. While I have since begrudgingly admitted that maybe I don’t need a whole budget category for writing implements, gosh, I love a good pencil
  • I don’t know if “cozy” and “challenge” would be found together in any sentence I mutter (I lean more toward do-nothing cozy), but this list for summer is nice. Take your dog on a date? Come on, that’s adorable.
  • Joy the Baker’s guide to a joyful summer is more my speed when it comes to summer to-do lists. Gentle suggestions. Things that make life easier/more pleasant. And if you think I’m not looking for that banana malt icebox cake recipe in my inbox every single day, have we even met?
  • Everything about this is powerful and I love it and also I despise that we are living in times where two international students at Harvard singing “There’s a Place for Us” to honor Rita Moreno is especially poignant. I have a lot of feelings.
  • Speaking of things that give me a lot of feelings, OMG YAY.

I hope you have a lovely weekend full of whatever gives you the most peace.

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Hello, June. I’m trying hard to get into the spirit of you. It may be easier this year, since I’m spending more time at the farm. I loved June in the Panhandle, growing up. It was almost as good as October. We’ll see if the magic still persists.

Speaking of magic, I have not been great at pursuing my exploration of wonder this year. There are reasons, but I’d still like to do better. After all, the whole point of cultivating a practice of wonder is to have it in place for when things are *gestures broadly* I think I’m going to start Awestruck: 52 Experiments To Find Wonder, Joy, and Meaning in Everyday Life by Alexandra Franzen [inspire/self-help/community care] this month. And continue on with Year of Wonder: Classical Music To Enjoy Day by Day by Clemency Burton-Hill [essays? Daily prompts?], which has been excellent. I also want to read On Thriving by Brandi Sellerz-Jackson [inspire/self-help/community care] early in the month so I can get it back to the library for the people waiting on it. Hopefully, these will inspire me to embrace the wonder in everyday life a little better.

What I have been great at is carving out time every day to read. Here’s hoping June brings even more of that. 

Library

In addition to On Thriving, there are several other books I need to return to the library this month.

Book Clubs

  • Tom Lake by Ann Patchett [general fiction]
  • The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon [mystery/suspense]
  • The Author’s Guide to Murder by Beatriz Williams, Lauren Willig, and Karen White [mystery/suspense] – Rise & Shine is a mystery theme this month!
  • Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune [fantasy/nonrealism] – Follow the Reader’s choose your own adventure with a queer theme for Pride Month
  • Nevada by Imogen Binnie [queer lit] – also an FTR pick

Reading Challenges

Some of my favorite things about summer are the extra reading challenges and an abundance of readathons. Apparently, to many people, summer means more time to read, and that is delightful. Our public library has a challenge that lets you earn free books. As I also make space for Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Guide (the Minimalist List can be found here) by putting as many as my library has ordered on my hold list and eagerly await the possibility of a 52 Book Club summer challenge, I don’t want to neglect the yearly challenges I’m trying to finish. I know I have at least one official readathon coming up in July, but I know I will add more just for kicks, including a mini-retreat this Saturday. There are just too many good books I want to read! And by too many, I do mean never enough and please keep writing more great books, dear authors.

For this month…

52 Book Club:

  • Hurricane Summer by Asha Bromfield – Genre two: set in summer [general YA]
  • The Bodyguard by Katherine Center – A crossover (set in a shared universe) [favorite authors]
  • The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center – Shares universe with previous prompt [favorite authors]
  • Kill Joy by Holly Jackson – A prequel [mystery/suspense]

Libro.fm:

  • Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune – Listen to an audiobook by an LGBTQIA+ author [fantasy/nonrealism]
  • Kingmaker by Sonia Purnell – Read an audiobook about a historical figure and/or event [general nonfiction]
  • Nevada by Imogen Binnie – Listen to an audiobook by a transgender author [queer lit]
  • Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado – Listen to an anthology or short story collection [essays/short stories]

Bad Bitch Book Club:

  • Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy – A book set in the state/region where you live [general YA]
  • The Full Moon Coffee Shop by Mai Mochizuki – A book with astrology as a main plot point [fantasy/magical realism]
  • A bit of catch-up with the books I’ve planned for previous months

Nowhere Book Bingo:

  • All Fours by Miranda July – Book rec from a friend (thanks, Sarah!) [general fiction]
  • The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton – your favorite author’s favorite book – as choosing a favorite author is like asking someone to choose a favorite book (i.e., impossible), this is one of the favorite books of one of my favorite authors (Roxane Gay) [general fiction]

I’ve already plotted out all my intended reads for the Overeducated Women With Cats challenge in previous months. So all that is left to do for that challenge is to finish reading them. Maybe I will have them finished by the end of summer.

Looking forward to my mini-retreat this Saturday. I already had my snacks planned (because priorities), and now I have my TBR ready to go!

Do your reading habits change with the seasons? If so, how?

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I’ve had the draft document for this post open with nothing but a title for three days. That seems ominous.

Do I even have plans this summer? Or is it just something I have to get through until the weather is nice enough to wear my boots again?

I know why I’m hesitant. It makes sense. Summer is the busiest time at my job, so while everyone else is making plans to go on vacation, have fun outings, embrace all the summer programs that their community has to offer, and just generally live their best lives, I’m going to be super busy most days and, subsequently, too worn out by the time evening comes around to want to do any of those things. 

I’m also checking in on my parents more, which means at least every other weekend will be spent working on things at the farm, hanging out with my new bird friends (see above), and helping Mom and Dad plan and navigate whatever the next phase will bring.

I’m not really looking for more plans. 

In fact, what would make my summer better is to find things to take off my plate. That seems unlikely, though.

I don’t want to suck at my job or abandon my family. I also don’t want to drop off the face of the earth with friends or miss out on the things that bring me the most joy.

But it’s just a lot, and I probably need to use some of that PTO I have stored up.

So my bucket list this summer is more of to-not-do list. And it’s just two things:

  1. Find 5-10 random days to take off. I’m leaning toward 5 right now, but if things start getting nuttier, it’s gonna need to be closer to 10.
  2. DON’T. TELL. ANYONE. As soon as I say, “I’m really looking forward to taking a couple of days off next week,” people like to respond with “Ooh, we could do something!”

    Which is great. Truly. I adore the place of love and excitement that comes from. I’m glad people still want to hang out with me even when I’m not my very best self, which seems to be all the time these days.

    But the moment I start making plans on my day off…I no longer have the day off. Sure, I may get to sleep in or have more leisure time, and I guess that’s better than nothing. But once I make a plan with someone else, that whole day is now centered around making sure I don’t get too involved in a project or task – or even a spontaneous outing, if that’s where the day’s whims take me – that I forget or show up late to the plans I made. And I’m very bad at turning down things that sound fun with people I love simply because I need to rest. While I strive to be better at this, I recognize that I’m not there yet, so I’m removing the temptation altogether by not letting anyone think I’m available when I’m not.

Whew.

Saying I’m not available when I have the day off is uncomfortable for me. I have struggled with being honest about what I need for most of my adult life. Peeling off the people-pleasing layers I clung to during childhood is hard, and this one is particularly thick. 

It’s work worth doing, though.

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Lenten season is upon us. I haven’t engaged in the common practice of giving something up for Lent in the last few years, and I don’t feel the need to do so this year. I’ve become quite Lutheran about the church seasons in general, but Lent has been the biggest change from how I observed it before I joined a Lutheran church. I do, however, want to acknowledge the season with practices that may help set my mind and spirit right again. I’ve been having a rough time lately, so most of what I want to do for Lent is strip things down to the bare essentials without taking out everything that gives me joy. I’m not sure this will look too different on the outside, but I just want to be more observant of my daily doings myself. Some journaling is likely in order. Additionally, since one side effect of rough times is my disinterest in things that usually bring me fulfillment, I’m going to see if Madeleine L’Engle’s Walking on Water or Meik Wiking’s The Art of Danish Living can help nudge me out of that.

I’m taking the whole week off for my 50th birthday later in the month. I’m going to go visit my parents the first weekend of my vacation. I have a few fun outings with friends during the week. And then Maggie and Michelle are coming to visit! Otherwise, I’m going to spend that week relaxing, which typically means reading, organizing, and random cleaning as I feel like it. I planted tomatoes yesterday, and I may plant more things if I feel so moved. I may visit some bookstores, but I may also just luxuriate in the fact that I don’t have to be anywhere for most of the week. Enjoying the simple life whenever I can.

I’m pretty stoked about my reading plans for March.

Book Clubs

52 Book Club Challenge

  • Death of the Author by Nnedi Okorafor – a sprayed edge [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
  • The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón – written in third person [mystery/ suspense]
  • Rebel Girl by Kathleen Hanna – celebrity on the cover [memoir]
  • Fable by Adrienne Young – a character with red hair [general YA]
  • The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley – author’s last name is also a first name [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
  • East of Eden by John Steinbeck – direction in the title [general fiction]
  • Finlay Donovan Knocks ‘Em Dead by Ellie Cosimano – character’s name in the title [mystery/suspense]

Libro.fm Challenge

Bad Bitch Book Club Challenge

  • The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean – a book you meant to read in 2022 [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
  • The Truth According to Ember by Danica Nava – a BBC BOTM you never got around to [romance-ish]
  • A book you bought on your birthday – TBA 🙂

Nowhere Bookshop Bingo

OWC Challenge

  • A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas – a book over 400 pages [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
  • The Reformatory by Tananarive Due – a book tagged as horror, cosmic horror, or speculative fiction [mystery/suspense]

Library Books

People have the following books on hold at the library, so I want to finish them quickly and return them. Waiting for books you’re longing to read is so stressful.

One of my upcoming reading challenge prompts is “genre chosen for you by someone else.” So I ask you – what genre do you think I should read?

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Love is in the air. Or something. Maybe it’s smog. Or anxiety. 

On this arbitrary date that we celebrate love and consumerism, I hope you are surrounded by people who get you and know how amazing you are. Also, your hair looks nice, and I like your shirt.

Shout-out to Maggie, on this, her favorite day. It’s totally not made up. It’s a very real and special holiday, Magnanimous.

Here are some things I’ve read recently that I loved, and I hope you do, too.

  • I’m Cancer-Free, So Why Do I Feel So Depressed and Hopeless? by Maggie Hundshamer-Moshier via Bezzy BC – I’m feeling a lot of these things right now. The other day, I burst into tears at a mild inconvenience and turned to my friend and said “I think I’m depressed.” They smiled sweetly and said, “You…think?” Noted.
  • The Perils of Voracious Reading by Caroline Donahue – “The desire to read is as strong for me as the desire to eat.” I feel that. My favorite way of digesting what I read is keeping a commonplace book. In fact, since I read in more places than at home, I have one there and one that I carry around with me. They’re mostly full of quotes but also sometimes notes on how something made me feel or my gut reaction to a book/passage. The one I stash in my purse also often has lists, meeting notes, and doodles from meetings.
  • How To Read a Book by Monica Wood – I’m going to have to add Monica Wood to my favorite authors list. This is only the second one of hers that I’ve read, but both this one and The One-in-a-Million Boy were fantastic. If you like Fredrik Backman, or you enjoyed Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine, you will probably love the stories Monica Wood tells.
  • What Goes With What by Julia Turshen – I will sit and read a cookbook cover to cover like it’s a novel, but with most of them, I start skimming about halfway through. Not this one. Turshen’s recipes and instructions are interspersed with memories, essays, and interviews about the role food plays in her life, and I adored it all. This would be a great book to give to a new cook who is just learning how to experiment and think outside the recipe, but I (a somewhat well-seasoned cook) learned a lot (and *cough* would like it as a gift *cough*), too.
  • Finally, an oldie but goodie – The Optimism of Uncertainty by Howard Zinn via The Nation (2004). “To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives.”

I hope you have a great weekend, friends!

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Whew. What a year to explore wonder!  I mean, I guess I am, in fact, frequently astonished (Am I really? Or is it all playing out exactly as expected?) and full of doubt, both of which were phenomena featured in the definition. But damn.

My focus last year was technically learning how to embrace quiet but realistically, it was also a lot of trying not to die. My community was instrumental in helping me achieve that goal. Of course, people are only able to help others insofar as they have the spoons/energy/resources to do so. Therefore, in addition to capturing some wonder along the way, a big part of my mindset this year leans more toward getting my shit together so that I can be in a position to be there for those who are having their try-not-to-die year(s) now. I mean, I have been a moderately-functioning adult for a long time, and I have most of the adulting basics down, but there are areas I could be stronger. I find myself veering toward pieces that talk about cultivating sanity and joy and community and love and stability amidst *gestures broadly* so here are some of my favorites this week.

  • Reckoning with This Vicious World from Ask Polly, aka Heather Havrilesky – “Every opportunity to dance, to seek pleasure, to love with an open heart, to create freely, to show yourself without shame, and to celebrate what you are makes you stronger and more helpful to this struggling world.”
  • Power: What It *Truly* Is – Tori Dunlap with Kasia Urbaniak – “If you’re focused on how you’re being perceived, your attention is inward and you lose the power to lead the conversation.” 
  • This is Happening by Nadia Bolz-Weber – “…this is not the time to concede the faith to nationalists, and I do not want those of us who believe Jesus’ message was one of mercy, humility, hospitality and forgiveness to give into despair.” 
  • How Do You Know: The Consequences of a Lack of Media Literacy and Where We Go From Here by Ashlie Swicker via Book Riot – “We all know that the internet twists thinking and that this leads to large swaths of people buying into misinformation…Still, I think we imagine that this is happening somewhere else, to other people…We don’t hold ourselves accountable for the same kind of open mind and fact-checking that we demand from people who think differently than us.”
  • On HillmanTok University, Black Educators Are Sharing Invaluable Info by Kaitlynne Rainne via Her Campus – Professors dropping lots of knowledge on TikTok. They’ve posted syllabi, resources, etc., on everything from basic adult skills like budgeting and personal wellness to courses on literature and entrepreneurship. Teachers are going to teach, regardless of the hurdles they face. Love to see it. I also love that it’s called Hillman. 

I’ll leave you with this quote from Bernice King: “There’s a difference between being informed and being consumed.” I invite you to take that into your weekend and beyond.

Have a good one, friends!

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