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Archive for the ‘Joy’ Category

Friday Five – Finding Hope in a Mad World

Posted in Beauty, Church, Denton, Friday Five, Fun, Getting It Together, Hope, Joy, Lucky, Mental Health, Wonder, Work on June 13, 2025| Leave a Comment »

Happy Friday, folks! June is up and running! We are three down/ten to go with orientation sessions for new students and their parents this week, so it’s been busy at work. And tonight is Pridenton’s Night Out, and my church has a booth, so that’s my Friday night. Luckily, I have a few days off next week to go hang out with my parents, so that’s something to look forward to.

Additionally, this has been a great morning:

  • My sister came to visit at work (she is going on a trip and wanted to take her friends some of UNT’s special coffee blend from Voltage) and we got to have coffee and bagels together.
  • I got some excellent news that is really going to make my financial life easier.
  • I was able to help two students who were struggling/anxious about housing next year get exactly what they need.
  • One of my staff who has been on a tour with the UNT acapella choir is back and I get to hear his stories soon.
  • I get to have lunch on the square with the office folk today.

Here are some things I’ve enjoyed reading in the last few weeks (months? It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these):

  • As a member of Tori Dunlap’s 100K Club (shameless plug) (which I originally typed “shameless plum” – I’m so hungry and also I may have just given myself an idea for a children’s book), I have been thinking a lot about value categories when it comes to my budget. These are the things that aren’t needs but that I still make room for in the budget because they bring me joy or enrich my life in some way. When I first joined the community, I had office supplies + stationery + accessories on my list because I love them so much. While I have since begrudgingly admitted that maybe I don’t need a whole budget category for writing implements, gosh, I love a good pencil. 
  • I don’t know if “cozy” and “challenge” would be found together in any sentence I mutter (I lean more toward do-nothing cozy), but this list for summer is nice. Take your dog on a date? Come on, that’s adorable.
  • Joy the Baker’s guide to a joyful summer is more my speed when it comes to summer to-do lists. Gentle suggestions. Things that make life easier/more pleasant. And if you think I’m not looking for that banana malt icebox cake recipe in my inbox every single day, have we even met?
  • Everything about this is powerful and I love it and also I despise that we are living in times where two international students at Harvard singing “There’s a Place for Us” to honor Rita Moreno is especially poignant. I have a lot of feelings.
  • Speaking of things that give me a lot of feelings, OMG YAY.

I hope you have a lovely weekend full of whatever gives you the most peace.

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Summer To-Not-Do List

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Fun, Getting It Together, Home, Joy, Mental Health, Roots, Work, tagged , , , on May 21, 2025| 2 Comments »

I’ve had the draft document for this post open with nothing but a title for three days. That seems ominous.

Do I even have plans this summer? Or is it just something I have to get through until the weather is nice enough to wear my boots again?

I know why I’m hesitant. It makes sense. Summer is the busiest time at my job, so while everyone else is making plans to go on vacation, have fun outings, embrace all the summer programs that their community has to offer, and just generally live their best lives, I’m going to be super busy most days and, subsequently, too worn out by the time evening comes around to want to do any of those things. 

I’m also checking in on my parents more, which means at least every other weekend will be spent working on things at the farm, hanging out with my new bird friends (see above), and helping Mom and Dad plan and navigate whatever the next phase will bring.

I’m not really looking for more plans. 

In fact, what would make my summer better is to find things to take off my plate. That seems unlikely, though.

I don’t want to suck at my job or abandon my family. I also don’t want to drop off the face of the earth with friends or miss out on the things that bring me the most joy.

But it’s just a lot, and I probably need to use some of that PTO I have stored up.

So my bucket list this summer is more of to-not-do list. And it’s just two things:

  1. Find 5-10 random days to take off. I’m leaning toward 5 right now, but if things start getting nuttier, it’s gonna need to be closer to 10.
  2. DON’T. TELL. ANYONE. As soon as I say, “I’m really looking forward to taking a couple of days off next week,” people like to respond with “Ooh, we could do something!”

    Which is great. Truly. I adore the place of love and excitement that comes from. I’m glad people still want to hang out with me even when I’m not my very best self, which seems to be all the time these days.

    But the moment I start making plans on my day off…I no longer have the day off. Sure, I may get to sleep in or have more leisure time, and I guess that’s better than nothing. But once I make a plan with someone else, that whole day is now centered around making sure I don’t get too involved in a project or task – or even a spontaneous outing, if that’s where the day’s whims take me – that I forget or show up late to the plans I made. And I’m very bad at turning down things that sound fun with people I love simply because I need to rest. While I strive to be better at this, I recognize that I’m not there yet, so I’m removing the temptation altogether by not letting anyone think I’m available when I’m not.

Whew.

Saying I’m not available when I have the day off is uncomfortable for me. I have struggled with being honest about what I need for most of my adult life. Peeling off the people-pleasing layers I clung to during childhood is hard, and this one is particularly thick. 

It’s work worth doing, though.

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Friday Five – Cultivating Joy

Posted in Beauty, Friday Five, Home, Joy, Revolution, Seasons on December 20, 2024| Leave a Comment »

I love transitional periods. This fondness makes today one of my favorite days of the year. The short last day of work before the break that starts another transitional period between the year we are finishing and the year ahead. Other than the time surrounding my birthday, this is usually my very favorite week.

It’s also joy season.

I mean, joy is for always. But I am paying particular attention to it these days, trying to find it wherever and whenever I can. I love this piece by Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes where she shares her secret for finding joy, especially this quote: “I cultivate joy as a discipline, attentive to finding it in life’s everyday moments, determined to ride this thing until the wheels fall off. In a death-dealing culture, joy is a form of resistance. I am decidedly oppositional in my joy.”

Seeing joy as resistance to the junk of the world is a nice motivation to pursue it more assertively.

Here are some ways I plan to do that over my break from work:

  • Spending quality time with family and friends
  • Making art (writing, music, baking, crafts, etc.)
  • Reading for long, luxurious stretches of time
  • Cleaning out the parts of my apartment that seem cluttered to make them cozy and functional again
  • Unraveling my year and preparing for the new one

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, friends!

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Day 30 – Readathons Gone Awry

Posted in 31 Days, Books, Getting It Together, Health, Home, Joy, Quiet, Seasons, tagged , , , , on October 30, 2024| Leave a Comment »

“One doesn’t need magic if one knows enough stories.”

“I was delighted to sit in the corner with my food and a book and speak to no one.”

Heather Fawcett, Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries

This past weekend, I participated (loosely) in Dewey’s 24-hour Readathon. The official time was 8 a.m. Saturday to 8 a.m. Sunday (EST). But I (and various others in the Discord and in the Facebook group) rarely actually stick to the time of the event. My goal, for example, was to simply read a collective 24 hours. I think the Dewey’s team is on to us – instead of hourly challenges, they just listed a handful of challenges to complete “at any time during the readathon.”

I completed no challenges.

I didn’t read a full 24 hours.

I barely remembered to post the picture of the stack I was choosing from (see above) on the group’s social media pages.

I carried on with plans to attend my favorite yearly Halloween party and Spiderdead, brazenly cutting into the hours I would usually set aside on readathon weekends to read.

I finished three books, but only one of them is actually in this stack (Fang Fiction – pretty cute!).

What I got out of the readathon was still pretty magical.

I got to tuck into stories about found families and books and several other favorite themes. I ate good, simple food, so I rested better (weird how that happens) and thus felt more refreshed when the weekend was over (despite it being a “busy” one). I embraced my full homebody self without the usual twinge of guilt about what a person who lives alone should want to do on the weekend.

These twinges are getting smaller and less frequent as I age. One reason for this is that I’m accepting who I am more and becoming less apologetic about it with each passing month. Another reason is that I get so much joy and restoration out of my alone time that there is little to no room left for feeling bad about it.

At any rate, I had a great weekend, and I look forward to many more like it as the season changes.

Reading more makes me want to write more. I’m reflecting on my reading this year.

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Friday Five – Extraordinary, Mundane Fall Bucket List

Posted in 31 Days, Alive, Beauty, Bookshops, Coffee Shop Road Trip, Dance, Denton, Food, Friday Five, Home, Joy, Mental Health, Music on October 18, 2024| Leave a Comment »

“My bucket list of little things aims to live every moment as if it’s my first. To find the glory in what a seasoned eye might falsely consider mundane.”
Andrea Gibson, Things That Don’t Suck (Substack)

It has been a long week. Nothing particularly bad has happened. I’ve just felt puny and tired. The weather, however, is gorgeous. It was 52 when I left home. I am wearing a light sweater!

Today, I need a list of things to look forward to this season that aren’t super ambitious but still give me ways to ground myself and remind myself that I’m alive and meant to be living and not just muddling through.

  • Buy a delicious cup of coffee and drink it while browsing a bookstore. Take all the time I want.
  • Take shorter, more frequent walks. Not everything has to be hard all at once. A little bit multiple times a day is better than pushing myself and getting too exhausted to do anything else for hours.
  • Keep my hands warm and nimble with piano and knitting.
  • Make soup without rushing. Pan roast the veggies slowly. Add one ingredient at a time. Fill my home with cozy smells.
  • Take drives. Drive down winding country roads just outside of town and find the few trees in Texas that know what time of year it is. Drive down my favorite streets and let the memories of every time I’ve been there before flow over me.

This is what I want my season to look like.

What are you looking forward to this fall?

Reflecting on reading this month (and hopefully beyond).

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Day 7 – Between the Pages

Posted in 31 Days, Beauty, Books, Church, Joy, Lush on October 7, 2024| Leave a Comment »

“He doesn’t say what he is thinking, which is that his church is held-breath story listening and late-night-concert ear-ringing rapture and perfect-boss fight-button pressing. That his religion is buried in the silence of freshly fallen snow, in a carefully crafted cocktail, in between the pages of a book somewhere after the beginning but before the ending.”
Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea

The Starless Sea is one of my favorite books I’ve read this year. I love everything about it. The storyline is intricate and the characters are well-developed. It is full of mystery and surprise, and it doesn’t shy away from darker emotions.

Most of all, though, it resonates with me through little moments like this one. There is almost a holiness to the language, conjuring images and sensations that stir my soul.

I’m having a hard time putting this reflection into words. It’s something like church, though. I am a rarity among my friends in that I do actually attend church, and I find the sacred there. The care and love of a community. The big picture.

One of my favorite aspects of my faith, however, is that the divine isn’t confined to a building or a specific group of people. It’s in a million little things, like wind chimes and cloud formations. Kindness. A really good cup of coffee. A dish of water set out for the birds.

This quote reminds me of moments that make up a whole life.

I’m reflecting on my reading this month.

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Friday Five – Busy Week!

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Feminism, Friday Five, Health, Joy, Quiet, Work on June 14, 2024| Leave a Comment »

This week was a lot. First week back to work after surgery, and it went pretty well. We had two Freshman Orientation sessions this week, so our team was running around everywhere between tabling, talking to parents, giving tours, and answering the phone that kept ringing off the hook. And next week’s schedule looks the same.

So this weekend is all about relaxing! I’m gonna DoorDash some dinner tonight (and maybe breakfast tomorrow, too) and read to my heart’s content. Well, read until I fall asleep. I am not sure there are enough hours ever to fully reach my heart’s content when it comes to reading.

Links for this week:

  • I finally broke down and started a GoFundMe for my medical expenses after learning how much I would have to pay out of pocket for my upcoming radiation treatments. But this is the last major phase of treatment – it’s all just ongoing prevention and checkups after that!
  • I’m very excited for my friend Andi who recently signed a contract with a publisher for all her books! I also really like her YouTube channel.
  • Lessons in Chemistry is one of my favorite books I’ve read in the last few years. Easily top five. This interview with author Bonnie Garmus makes me love it even more. Success really is the best revenge.
  • Welp, I did it. I subscribed to Archer and Olive, and I just got the notification that my June box was delivered. So I have that to look forward to later this evening!
  • Finally, I love the Quiet Life community Susan Cain has created, and one of the neatest things they do is the community art project.

I hope you have a great weekend!

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Friday Five – Fun Reads From Last Month

Posted in Books, Friday Five, Fun, Joy, Nostalgia on November 3, 2023| 2 Comments »

Since October’s blog was full of foodie joy, today I’m sharing a few of the other things I read last month with you. Some magical cozies and books about spooky houses or other scary things. 

  • The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna – I loved this book. So many people recommended it to me, and it did not disappoint. It’s a cozy fantasy in which the main character is a witch who gets hired to train three young witches. Except she was raised to believe it was dangerous for witches to be together for long periods of time, so as you can imagine, some angst ensues. It’s not just a cute story, though. It’s also a wonderful treatise on the residual effects of chronic loneliness and one of the best explanations of the difference between “nice” and “kind” (spoiler – kind is far better) that I’ve ever read.
  • Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia – I liked this book a lot. I think there could have been more buildup in the beginning, but it was a great concept and solid execution. I love any book where the house or the place itself acts as one of the characters, and this story did not disappoint in that regard. 
  • The Book Woman’s Daughter by Kim Michele Richardson – I was introduced to the original book woman and the Blue People of Kentucky in the first book of this series (duology?). This is why I love my book clubs. I probably would not have picked either of these books up on my own, but because someone recommended them for discussion, I got to read them and learn something new. This book started a little slower for me than the last one, but it was still an enjoyable read.
  • The Enchanted Hacienda by J.C. Cervantes – Jenny Lawson was right. It really was like Encanto and Practical Magic had a baby. I loved this story and the way family connections were woven together. There were enough surprises that it kept me interested, but nothing particularly stressful or jarring. Just what I needed last month. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and look forward to reading more from this author.
  • Holly Horror by Michelle Jabès Corpora – I ordered this book because I grew up with Holly Hobbie accessories for my room – my first bedspread was Holly Hobbie themed, and I had a tea set as well. The quilt that my Great Aunt Edna made me that I still use today has a Holly Hobbie-esque pattern. This story is a dark twist on the character, turning her into a girl who mysteriously disappeared years ago and now haunts her old house. I enjoyed the descriptions and the way the author introduced all the essential characters. I will definitely read the next in the series!

And finally, I offer you this excerpt from Samantha Irby’s new collection of essays, Quietly Hostile. When someone rains on your parade or tries to grade your taste, a simple “I like it!” is indeed a sufficient response. When you find joy – wherever you find it – in this world, it’s yours. You get to have it, even if you can’t articulate exactly why you like it (or, frankly, just don’t want to explain). 

I hope you get to do a lot of things you like this weekend!

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Day 26 – Gross Things That Make Me Happy

Posted in 31 Days, Food, Home, Joy, Nostalgia on October 26, 2023| 2 Comments »

I imagine most of us have those certain foods we love that would make others recoil in horror. Do yourself a favor – DO NOT google “gross foods” to come up with examples. If you must, satisfy your curiosity with this link but also don’t click on that if you don’t want to see some questionable and possibly revolting things (and I only say “possibly” because I recognize that what I might find revolting others don’t, because that list got a lot of yucks from me).

I mean, you do you, but I’m not eating anything that starts with “jellied” and ends with some animal part.

I will absolutely chow down on some chicharrones (aka, pork rinds), though. When the dining hall across the street from my office made them, I was delighted. They remind me of afternoons at my grandparents’ apartment. Mom stopped by several times a week to visit with her mother, and Granddaddy spent most of the time singing Marty Robbins along with his record player in the back room. And these salty snacks were readily available. One of my earliest memories with this set of grandparents was discovering that Smoky the cat really liked them, too.

Jello salads are also on my list of foods I generally enjoy that others often have on their iffy lists. This is another perk of holidays and potlucks – there’s always at least one of them. My absolute favorite is a lime green one with pineapple and cottage cheese (another food people seem to have very strong opinions about). I don’t even mind that it has pecans in it, but I prefer it without them. *sigh* It’s been so long since I had this treat. I may have to make some before the year is over.

I also really crave hot dogs every once in a while, as long as I don’t think too much about what they’re made of.

Most of the foods I love that others side-eye are ones that are strongly tied to memories of home and comfort, and I suspect that’s the same for most people. If I were to survey the folks in my office, we’d get nostalgic gushing about pickle loaf, hot Cheetos with bananas and milk, sucking the heads of crawdads, and various other dubious pairings and practices that, despite all odds, bring them joy. I may not be interested in trying (or reliving) them myself, but I like listening to others rave about their favorite things.

Speaking of suspect snacks, I think I’ll go see what I can find in the vending machine next door.

I’m writing about all kinds of foods – the good, the bad, and the ugly – that remind me of home this month.

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Day 22 – Potlucks

Posted in 31 Days, Church, Food, Home, Joy, Roots on October 22, 2023| Leave a Comment »

I grew up Baptist, so I’ve definitely attended my share (and about 14 other people’s share) of potlucks. Any chance the church folk had to gather and share a meal, they jumped at it. They usually tried to fit it into some sort of holiday or celebration, but if the hostess committee (yes, that’s what it was called) felt we had gone too long without one, we’d see an announcement in the bulletin inviting everyone to bring their favorite dish to share in the next week or two.

I act like it wasn’t glorious, but it was. Casseroles as far as the eye could see, various things made in slow cookers, fried chicken, all manner of potatoes made every way you could imagine, things called “salad” that were definitely more dessert than the healthy side the term implies, and someone always made deviled eggs.

The church I attend now can also bring it with the potluck spread. Casseroles, charcuterie boards, and so many desserts. We have vegan and vegetarian options, and occasionally someone brings beer (because Lutherans). And because many of our congregants have lived in New Mexico at some point, there is usually at least one dish featuring the hatch green chile or some other pepper.

The most common potlucks I attend these days are our monthly cookbook club nights. We often have a theme (and, as one of the members pointed out, the theme is often “orange” because we really, really love cheese). Friday’s theme, for example, was spooky foods. We had:

  • Jack o’lantern sweet potato fries on the side of matching falafel burgers
  • Jack o’lantern pizza
  • Mummy hot dogs
  • Ghoul-ash (my contribution)
  • Pumpkin cake (and yes, the stem was a rice krispie treat)

I learned a lot from the way I grew up. Much of it, I’ve had to unlearn (and then relearn some things…). But one of the things I value the most is the importance of gathering around the table to share a meal and some conversation. Taking the time to eat some good food and have a good talk. Most of the people I know the best and love the most are those who have fed me or have allowed me to feed them. Linking food and friendship – I come by it honest.

I’m writing about how food has shaped my life, my relationships, and my sense of home this month.

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