Part of why I want my house to be cozy is to make it more welcoming to guests. I used to really love having people over, but I’ve gotten more particular about doing so in recent years. I don’t know that I’ll ever be interested in throwing large parties again, but occasionally I do have people over, or sometimes (rarely, but still), people just pop by.
First – no, thank you, on the just popping by. I’m gonna need you to text first and ask if and when I’m free for you to do so. I’m not a fan of surprises in general, and I want my home to be, as often as possible, the place where only things I enjoy happen. An unexpected visit is not one of those things.
However, as much as I do not want people to show up unannounced at my front door, I’d like the state of my home not to be the reason I hate it. There are so many better reasons to hate such a thing (it’s assuming, it’s inconsiderate, it’s disruptive, etc.). I’d like to go with one of those. I keep house just in case the unmitigated disaster of a surprise guest occurs, so I can at least minimize one of the things that make it terrible.
Second, there is the matter of my upbringing. I was the messy child who could never quite meet the standard set by my mom on how my space should look. I’ve healed enough in this area to say that the expectations I grew up with for how a home should look are the least important reasons for my wanting to keep house, but I would be lying if I claimed they weren’t still a part of my motivation. I’m still working through my desire to meet the expectations of my mother-of-yore (the current version of her does not give a damn, actually, which is upsetting in its own way. It’s just so unlike her. But I digress.). According to the voice in my head that sounds a lot like Joy Terry in her 40s and 50s, there is a way your home should look, especially if you are expecting people over, and I occasionally find myself measuring my home with that yardstick.
Really, though, I prefer a much more relaxed standard. I find that guests feel just as comfortable if my house looks lived in as they would if it looked magazine-ready (Pinterest-ready? Or is that outdated, too?). More to the point, I find that my guests enjoy my company more when I’m not exhausted and stressed from frantically cleaning.
[Aside: This is not a judgment on people who enjoy keeping a more pristine home. I probably love coming to your house. It’s so pretty, and you’re doing a great job.]
Keeping my home generally guest-ready allows me to focus on the aspects of hosting I enjoy more. For example, I love a good menu. I love planning meals and making grocery lists and finding creative ways to work within food budgets and arranging/decorating the table, etc. I do not, however, love having to include in that calculation all the preliminary cleaning I would have to do to make the meal happen.
One of my biggest goals for getting better at keeping house is for it to take me an hour or less to prepare my home for guests. No matter how much notice I have, I want stay ready to be a gracious host.
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