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[I always feel weird saying I’m writing “haiku,” because while I can totally do the 5-7-5 thing, there’s a nuance to it that I miss because I don’t know Japanese. Part of me wants to learn Japanese just so I can write proper haiku. Maybe that will be my goal for my 50th year.]

My Facebook page has informed me that the “113 people who like Suzanne Terry, Writer, haven’t heard from you in a few days.” It’s just been 5 days, Facebook.  Calm down.

The problem this week has not been writer’s block. I don’t often have that problem. I can produce some words. The problem is producing words that anyone else would want to read. So this is one of those weeks where I have oodles of content but nothing ready to share. It’s like all the words are locked away for safekeeping.

Writer’s lock, I guess.

But here’s what I can do. I can unlock a few words and give you my week in haiku(ish) form.


Monday, a liar

Easy lulled tranquility

Leaving unprepared


 Tuesday, a charmer

Books, wine, and friends – piece of cake

Sunshine in my hair


Wednesday, a chaos

Spinning, dancing, speaking, rush

Untimely dew spritz


Thursday, a fresh breeze

Calm madness of life and work

Friends gift friends coffee


Friday, a welcome

Whatever comes, light follows

Into shadow night

January felt productive. Maybe it’s because it’s the start of the new semester, so it’s productive by design. Maybe it’s because it’s a new year, so I have a new zest for getting things done. Whatever it is, I’m happy about it.

1. I am in love with the Duolingo app. Every day, I learn new language skills. I started with just brushing up on my Spanish. Then I added Italian. Then I added French. Then I added German. So I have daily practice with each language right on my phone. Spanish and German are the easiest so far, since I have a little background in them. Italian is easier than expected. Of the romance languages I’ve studied, it seems the closest to Latin (I knew those four semesters of Latin would not be in vain!). French is kicking my butt. That’s okay. I enjoy a challenge. I know how to order coffee and affirm my singleness by declaring “I have four cats,” so the basics are covered.

2. I am almost done with my taxes. I am going to have them sent by the end of next week. This is curious new territory for me. This will be the earliest I have ever filed.

3. Speaking of curious new territory, I have displayed some mad budgeting skills this month. January is usually a pretty sparse month, because I don’t get my first teaching paycheck until February. Yet here it is, the end of January, and I still have a nice little cushion in the bank. I am so proud of me I don’t even know what to do with myself.

Last month may have been the month for food scavenging, but food prep has made a roaring comeback in the new year.

1. I am obsessed with a certain espresso-infused balsamic vinegar. My friends Beth and Kim are in the process of starting an oil and vinegar shop in town (Denton Olive and Co. – click and like!), and I might have to have them order it for me by the case. I put it on sausage and roast. I pour it on goat cheese and eat it with crackers. I may or may not have poured some in a shot class and sipped it like a fine brandy. It’s so delicious.

2. I made a lot of shortbread this month. It’s an easy thing to throw together and take to a party, and if I make two batches on the Friday night of a busy weekend, that covers every party that weekend, as I am not interested in any party where shortbread is unwelcome. It all started with this Earl Grey shortbread. From there, I discovered that you can pretty much substitute anything (lemon zest, cocoa powder, chocolate shavings, espresso powder, etc.) for the tea, and it will be delicious.

3. My supper club helped with the first round of testing for Feast. It was a glorious success. Steak, potatoes, chipotle mayo, and peppermint cocktails. Happy.

I enjoyed a lot of outings with people.

1. My new hall director, Jessa, and I had our first one-on-one. We had lunch at Seven Mile Cafe, and I splurged on an almond milk latte. Sooo good.

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2. We threw a tea party at the Aubrey Area Library, and it was a lot of fun. We had scones, cookies, tea, costumes, and trivia. I felt fancy. Check out this spread:

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3. Story Feast was also this month. We gathered at Adela’s house and had so much food and got to hear about what everyone is working on.

I have done quite a bit of reading this month, and it’s all been good. I can’t choose a favorite, but I especially loved Eleanor and Park (Rowell), Nocturnes (Ishiguro), Tables in the Wilderness (Yancey), and Still (Winner).

If I lived in Austin, I would be into having food delivered – quite possibly on a weekly basis, because every menu has looked amazing – from The Lavendar Goat. If you are in Austin, you should order every week and then tell me all about it. If you are not in Austin (like me), you can also get help with meal planning and follow him on Facebook or sign up for his email newsletter. We learned basic knife care this week. Do it!

I’m linking up with Leigh Kramer. Come join us! What were you into this month?

Eleanor and Park

I rarely feel compelled to write a review of a book unless the author specifically requested it, I signed up to help promote it, or I received it for free in exchange for a review. I don’t really put a lot of stock in reviews until after I’ve already read or bought a book, so I forget that other people might.

But I can’t hold back with Eleanor and Park.

This book has been recommended to me a lot, so I recommended it for book club this month. I’m so happy I did.

I love it.

I felt 16 the whole time I was reading it. I relived the angst and the constant inner monologue of what-everyone-must-be-thinking and all the feels. It is the best description of a teenage crush/love story that I have ever read. Eleanor and Park are sweet and weird and cute and awkward, and I love them.

There are some great lines here. I usually jot lines down, but I couldn’t stand to put the book down long enough. So I took snapshots of them.

[PSA – what follows is vaguely spoilery, so if you’re a purist and haven’t read it yet…well, stop reading and go get it so we can be fans together!]

It started with a teacher describing Eleanor’s speaking voice:

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“That’s a voice that arrives on a chariot drawn by dragons.”

Eleanor describing Park:

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“Like the person in a Greek myth who makes one of the gods stop caring about being a god.”

Park describing Eleanor (forgive the bad quality – it’s highly possible I was in mid-squee while taking the photo):

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“She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”

Park second-guessing his present for Eleanor:

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“Jewelry was so public…and personal, which was why he’d bought it. He couldn’t buy Eleanor a pen. Or a bookmark. He didn’t have bookmarklike feelings for her.”

This line. Oh, Park. Sweet thinker:

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“If she weren’t made of so many other miracles.”

Seriously. *heart cleft in twain*

I have more pictures, but you get the point.

Read this book. It won’t take long. I read it in one sitting (and you’ll want to, so put aside a few hours for it).

It’s been a long time since I read something this impossibly sweet.

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Saturday, the Aubrey Area Library hosted an afternoon tea, complete with dainty cups, fancy hats, and Downton Abbey trivia.

I started at the Lady Mary table and live-posted trivia questions on their Facebook page.

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Then I moved to the Great Britain table to chat with some friends who also attended. You can’t really see my favorite bear, because it’s hidden by the books, but whoever designed that white bear really, really loves the flag.

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I was also on cookie duty for the tea. I baked three types of cookies – my mom’s surprise cookies (the surprise is coconut and pineapple), Earl Grey shortbread, and blueberry jam thumbprint cookies.

Some baking observations:

  1. I remember why I lose weight when I bake on a regular basis. The smell is enough to satisfy the craving. By the time the cookies are cool, I don’t really want one anymore.
  2. Also, baking makes the house hot, so I drink more water when I bake.
  3. My house should always, always smell like butter and sugar. Heaven.
  4. I enjoy baking, but I forget that I enjoy it. So I dread it…until I give in. Then I remember. I’m not sure why I forget. Maybe writing it down will help it stick.
  5. Shortbread is delicious.
  6. I am a planner in the kitchen…except with baking (which is the thing in the kitchen that one really should plan). This often results in catastrophes and/or starting a recipe only to discover that I don’t have one of the vital ingredients. Of course, this is how I discovered that I could leave the eggs out of the surprise cookies and have them still turn out amazing.
  7. This cavalier attitude is also responsible for not remembering that my mixer was broken until I had cookies in the oven and butter for the next type of cookie already in the bowl, room temperature and ready to be creamed with the sugar. Do you know what takes a long time to do without a mixer? Creaming butter and sugar. My arms were so angry afterwards.
  8. I remember now how my kitchen stayed cleaner when I baked regularly. What else is there to do while eight dozen cookies bake?
  9. Seriously.  I could sell this shortbread.
  10. I always end up with a baker’s dozen on the last batch.  Not sure how that happens.

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And now, after tea parties and DFW Story Feast night and spontaneous cookie giftings, I am all out of cookies. Time to bake some more!

So my amazing Supper Club friends let me test things out on them. It’s a symbiosis, really. I get feedback; they get steak and fancy drinks.

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They also contribute new ideas and courses. Adriana and Josh brought the first course and the wine and the chipotle mayo, and Becky brought chili to accompany the second course, which was a grand idea that I am totally going to keep. Hats off to them!

Each Feast test will have three courses and be served with a champagne cocktail (for which I will never actually use champagne but rather my favorite Prosecco) and a similar mocktail for those who do not wish to imbibe. This first round tested the recipes from the week we will be enjoying the Holiday Menu.

Holiday Menu:

  • Appetizer – Mixed greens salad with vinaigrette or chipotle mayo
  • Main – Steak, seared in ghee, and baked potato with chili and cheese (OR, alternatively, garlic mashed potatoes with ghee and coconut milk – great idea, Adriana), served with red wine.
  • Dessert – Butter cake (or one of the ten thousand desserts you still have sitting in your fridge after the family leaves)
  • Cocktail – White Christmas
  • Mocktail – Stick and Ale

Notes and Observations:

  • We seared in ghee because one of us is doing Whole 30, and butter does not go on Whole 30, but ghee does.  Which was awesome for us, because steak seared in ghee?  AMAZING. I highly recommend it.
  • The plan was to sear the steaks for two minutes on each side and then slide them under the broiler for a couple of minutes to get them to the preferred level of done-ness, which for me is medium. The reality was that I seared the steaks, broiled them, and then second-guessed myself and put them back in because I cut into them (the cardinal sin of steak – I know – I’m sorry!), and they weren’t where I wanted them to be yet. If I had just let them sit for five minutes like you are supposed to do, it would have been fine. They were overdone. I mean, everyone liked it and ate it anyway, because they’re proper humans who don’t complain about steak. It was fine. Tasty, even. But it could have been better if I would just let them rest. Perhaps I should write out 100 times, “I will let the steak rest. I will let the steak rest,” like my teachers made us do in elementary school when we did something wrong.
  • You know what’s delicious on steak? Chipotle mayo. That’s the drizzle you see on the steak at the bottom of the picture above. Happy.
  • Baked potatoes are super versatile. They’re good with butter and cheese. They’re good with chili. You know what else is good on a baked potato?  Chipotle mayo.
  • The White Christmas cocktail can be found under many names. White Christmas. Christmas Kiss (which makes me think it has chocolate and subsequently makes me disappointed that it doesn’t). Merry Kissmas (ick. Just no.). Frosty the Snowman (*blinks*). I chose “White Christmas” because I like my cocktails to have practical names. This is one of my weird pet peeves. I cannot abide a cocktail with a cutesy name that is also impractical. If it’s cutesy, the name better tell me how to make it. For example, a Southern Peach? Southern Comfort and peach schnapps. A Slow Comfortable Screw (other than its obvious purpose of sounding dirty)? Sloe gin, Southern Comfort, orange juice, and vodka. White Christmas? White creme de cacao and the essential Christmas candy icon – the peppermint stick. See? The recipe is basically in the name.

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(Look how cute!)

  • I was skeptical about the mocktail. It’s ginger ale and peppermint…and that’s it. I wasn’t sure how those two flavors would mesh. It was delicious. In fact, if I made it with a better ginger ale, I might actually like it better than its cocktail counterpart. As an added bonus, if enjoyed with a meal that makes your stomach angry, between the peppermint and the levels of ginger found in proper ginger ale, it will actually help settle your stomach.
  • If anyone offers you dessert as a reward for a favor you’ve done for them or as leftovers to take home from a party, take them! They can be a delicious end to a meal you share with friends – with absolutely no effort on your part. Shout-out to Kim and Beth for the delicious butter cake.  All the people thank you.

I consider this fantastic evening a successful first test!

I’m over at Miah’s place today, talking about art and fear. Hop over there and read!

Sunday Kind of Love

(Sunday Kind of Love – sung by the incomparable Etta James)

Music was my first art. Of course, I toyed with crafts and drawing and stories from the time I first learned to hold a pencil, but no more so than anyone else did. Music was the first art that was mine. I didn’t choose it – it was important to my mom that both my sister and I learn to play piano – but it was the first one that I wept over. I remember struggling through a difficult section, tears running down my face in frustration. I remember having sore fingers from playing harder and louder, not because the sheet music called for it, but because I was throwing all that angst into the piece. I remember the unfiltered joy at getting it right. I remember watching the timer that kept track of my hour of practice, willing it to move faster, when inspiration was dry. I remember leaping to quiet the timer before Mom heard it when it rang before I was finished telling my life to the keys.

Some days, music is the thing that leaves me in need of therapy. Other days, music is therapy. Either way, it drives me to create.

It’s no surprise to anyone who knows me that I have a playlist for everything. If something is important – if it’s going to be real to me – it will have a soundtrack. This week, I’ve been working on my playlist for Feast. It’s a compilation of my favorite songs to hear when I’m cooking, particularly when I’m cooking for other people.

It’s no coincidence that I’ve cooked more this week than I cooked all of last month.

Whenever I hear Sunday Kind of Love, I think of the same thing everyone else thinks of – finding a lasting love. That’s what the song is about. But I also think of the moments I already have in my life that are Sunday kinds of love. Friends. Feeding people. Welcoming others into my home. Inviting others to the table. Being connected by common experience and interests. Being captivated and challenged by differences. These things are eternal.

They’re love that lasts forever.

(Another one of my favorite renditions – Beth Rowley)

A Big To-Do

Andi prompted our writing group this week to talk about lists. I am a list fiend. I love making lists. As someone who is not naturally grand at organization, lists (and extensive training from my mother, who is the list queen) have been my salvation in that area. My genes are missing that one little nugget of an otherwise pristine INTJ personality. I love anything that makes me look good at something for which I have almost no natural talent.

Many of my lists are kept on my phone. I keep a running grocery/home list of things I need so that I can grab them if I’m out and happen upon them so that I don’t have to make an extra trip later. I also keep a list of books I want to read and gift ideas for friends (also something that doesn’t come naturally to me, so I grab all the help I can get). I keep lists of story ideas and blog posts ideas. These lists have saved me from a lot of wasted time, frustration, and writer’s block, and unlike paper lists, which I will surely misplace or leave at home/work or douse with coffee, I always have them.

A few of my lists are old-school, written lists. At the beginning of every season (you can take the girl off the farm…), I make a master list of meals before I put them on my food calendar in my kitchen. Then I file it away with recipes (or notes on where I stashed the recipe online). It makes meal-planning super easy.

If I am making a special trip to the store for a specific event, I sometimes write the list out by hand. I’m not sure why. It could be nostalgia, or it could just be because I’m using my Pinterest app for ingredients and don’t want to keep flipping back over to the notes. These lists sometimes show up in my art journal, because they tell their own story. For instance, this list is for the first testing of Feast recipes.  It’s a notable moment for me. It also might be my most favorite grocery list I’ve ever made.

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Happy.

I also write out goal lists. I have yearly goals, which I divide into quarterly goals, which I divide into weekly task lists. There is something about seeing a goal written in my own writing that makes it mean more to me. It’s weightier. I can’t blame anyone else for pushing it on me. It’s mine. I can tell, because it’s written in my own scrawl. It’s more satisfying to cross them off when they’re finished, too. I used to separate writing goals and work goals and personal goals, but now I put them all in one place, which has helped me be more realistic.

Do you make lists? Are they a help or a hindrance to you?

Winter Cleaning

Every year during holiday break, I get the urge to organize. Normally, when I’m at home, it’s the house that gets the pampering. But since I’m dog sitting this week, I took the opportunity to clean up some of my email and do some paperwork and budget – things that get missed when I am at home and there are dishes to be done.

I found a great email thread of messages to myself that I forgot I had started in early summer (back when I was still teetering between Renaissance and forty as my theme for the year) of ideas about what I might want to spend my 2015 doing. Here are a few of them:

  • Finally learn Spanish
  • Run a race (5K? Half marathon?)
  • Go on ___ dates
  • Write letters
  • Send photo Christmas cards of Uncle Wallace (amazing, creepy Santa mouse) and the “kids” (ceramic mice)

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  • Embrace traditions of the women who came before me – Mom’s pies, MeMaw Sharp’s garden (herbs, since I’m currently apartment-living), MeMaw Catherall’s crochet/knitting blankets
  • Embrace my own traditions (4th of July party? Friendsgiving? Cookie party?)
  • Buy a keyboard
  • Take an art class
  • Take a cooking class
  • Buy a piece of art that moves me
  • Learn Italian or French
  • Get something pierced
  • Dance in a flash mob (or as part of some type of performance)
  • Keep flowers on the table and wine in the wine rack
  • Lose a pound for every year I’ve been alive

This series of emails also includes a pretty extensive travel list (well, extensive for me, considering that the farthest I have traveled in the last couple of years was Houston):

  • Trip by train
  • Atlanta
  • Drive up the west coast
  • Road trip – bookshop tour? Coffee shop tour? Connect-the-friends tour?
  • Writing retreats
  • Solitary retreat – perhaps somewhere beach-y?

I think all of that sounds pretty fun. It still seems to fit the year’s theme nicely.

It also sounds expensive.

I go back to work on Monday, so I’m getting my mind wrapped back around that this weekend. I don’t think I want to switch jobs just yet, so I’ve worked out a pretty intense budget that allows me to live within my current means – even during months when I don’t have my teaching paycheck – and save up some money to do some of the things on my wish list above.

Now, I don’t want to boss my word around and tell it what to do (you can’t always force these things). But you know what would be really fun, as a professional with a master’s degree and 15+ years experience in my field? To earn an income befitting a grown woman with those credentials.

I feel caught in haphazard youth. I am basically still living with the same financial restrictions I had in college. I love a good challenge, so it has been its own kind of fun, but I am beyond ready to move on.

I want an income that allows for the extravagant lifestyle to which I intend to become accustomed. And by “extravagant,” I do mean a lifestyle characterized by the ability to:

  • Pay off debts and live debt-free
  • Buy wholesome, mostly local food
  • Drink good coffee and wine
  • Donate consistently to causes close to my heart
  • Have a nice, modest home that is small enough that I don’t need outside help to keep it clean but big enough to entertain comfortably
  • Make ethical purchases (i.e., fair trade, waste-free, sweatshop-free, cruelty-free, etc.) without having to buy almost everything secondhand
  • Pamper myself with regular hair appointments and toiletries that I don’t have to make myself and that won’t give me an allergic reaction/cancer
  • Go out to eat/drink with friends once or twice a week
  • Travel.  Just ever.  Anywhere.

I – competent, educated, professional, adult woman – want to earn an income conducive to doing all these things as a matter of habit, not having to decide each payday which 2-3 get their turn that month.

That would be a lot of fun for me.

Resolved, 2015 Edition

This year is going to be a great year, if for no other reason than I’m turning 40, and I plan to be obnoxious about it – even more obnoxious than I usually am. I already celebrate for a whole week. This year, I’m celebrating the whole year. I almost made “forty” my OneWord365. The only thing that stopped me is that there aren’t many songs that fit that theme, and I’m going to need a playlist.

But it’s totally in the back of my mind. It’s going to be a focus, even if it’s not the main focus. I can just tell.

As with every year, I have writing goals, reading goals, and one word that will be my theme of the year.

Writing:

1. Write an average of 5,000 words toward a work in progress per week. That’s 5-10 hours a week. That’s 260,000 words. That’s finishing Feast and Fishbowl and getting a good chunk of another project, whatever it will be, off to a good start.

2. On the blog, I’d like to continue some series, start some new ones, and get some more guest posts. I would like to consistently post three times a week, even in weeks when I’m feeling quiet, which means writing posts ahead of time and getting them scheduled. I just want to be more organized and intentional about it.

Reading – three sets of 40:

1. 40 books by people of color. In examining the diversity of my influences (friends, music, things I read, etc.), I do okay in most areas. My blog reader is especially diverse; only about 20% of the bloggers I read are white/straight/middle-class/etc. You know – me-ish. There is room for improvement across the board, though, and nowhere is this more obvious than in my book list from 2014, which is remarkably whitewashed. This year, I am going to be more intentional about diversifying my reading list, and I’m going to start with race as the diversifying factor.

2. 40 classics. Every time I see lists of 100 pieces of classic literature that pop up (you know the ones – the braggy ones that show up on your well-read friends’ Facebook pages that encourage you to compare your reading list to theirs), I can’t even say that I’ve read a majority of them. And I know that comparison is the thief of joy, but I also suspect that when I watch The Newsroom, I would probably enjoy it more (assuming that’s even possible) if I had a better grasp of Don Quixote. I also know that reading works that stand the test of time will assist in teaching me to write works that stand the test of time, and I am very much interested in that.

3. 40 miscellaneous books – just for fun. I am including a third category to pay homage to all those books I read as part of book clubs and lazy days off and other such times. I also think that fun is an important element of reading, particularly this year, because fun is my word of 2015.

Theme – fun:

My first thought when choosing my one word for this year was “responsible.” After all, I just spent a year chasing beauty. Gorgeous, lovely, magical beauty. So my reaction to that was that I should follow it up with something more serious. Something to bring me back down to earth. Not that I ever left, really.  It turns out, down on earth, it’s actually quite beautiful.

But I have goals for the year. Practical goals. Goals that require focus. Goals that require structure. Goals that embrace the quotidian (which is a word I also love, but for very different reasons).

The problem I kept running into when thinking about any of these words as my theme for the year is that I associate them with boredom. I think of them as dull. Lifeless. Scarce. What I hear is “Reign it in,” as if I haven’t done enough of that in my life already.

Enough.

Also, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but I’m turning 40 this year. I am happy to be turning 40, because I have earned every year. I’m going to herald in this milestone. There might actually be trumpets involved.

There will probably come a year when I want to reclaim sensible words and focus on them, because they’re not bad words. There’s nothing inherently scarce about them. I just don’t think this is that year.

I considered making “Renaissance” my word. It encompasses both practicality and beauty, knowledge and art, form and function. But while I can definitely see all sorts of things being incorporated into my year (because learning is delightful), I can’t see it providing the sort of focus I’m going for.

This is a year for celebration. For a bit of decadence. For carousing and merriment and revelry. For indulgence. For liberality.

For fun.

Fun is so simple that I have the urge to pick another word for it. Merriment is a good word. Hullaballoo. Hoopla.

I don’t want to hide behind the word itself, though.  As fun as “fun” sounds, it’s not actually easy for me to do. It is much more like me (especially in the last ten years or so) to slip into that person who plans a great theme party and throws so much energy into planning and execution that I’m exhausted by the time the day of the party arrives. As you might imagine, parties aren’t so fun for me when I’m tired of them before they ever begin (reason #1 that I probably will hire a wedding planner if I ever get married, but that’s another blog post altogether).

So I’m keeping the plan – and the word – simple. Fun.

Are you setting New Year’s Resolutions?  If so, what are they?