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Sunday Kind of Love

January 13, 2015 by Suzanne

(Sunday Kind of Love – sung by the incomparable Etta James)

Music was my first art. Of course, I toyed with crafts and drawing and stories from the time I first learned to hold a pencil, but no more so than anyone else did. Music was the first art that was mine. I didn’t choose it – it was important to my mom that both my sister and I learn to play piano – but it was the first one that I wept over. I remember struggling through a difficult section, tears running down my face in frustration. I remember having sore fingers from playing harder and louder, not because the sheet music called for it, but because I was throwing all that angst into the piece. I remember the unfiltered joy at getting it right. I remember watching the timer that kept track of my hour of practice, willing it to move faster, when inspiration was dry. I remember leaping to quiet the timer before Mom heard it when it rang before I was finished telling my life to the keys.

Some days, music is the thing that leaves me in need of therapy. Other days, music is therapy. Either way, it drives me to create.

It’s no surprise to anyone who knows me that I have a playlist for everything. If something is important – if it’s going to be real to me – it will have a soundtrack. This week, I’ve been working on my playlist for Feast. It’s a compilation of my favorite songs to hear when I’m cooking, particularly when I’m cooking for other people.

It’s no coincidence that I’ve cooked more this week than I cooked all of last month.

Whenever I hear Sunday Kind of Love, I think of the same thing everyone else thinks of – finding a lasting love. That’s what the song is about. But I also think of the moments I already have in my life that are Sunday kinds of love. Friends. Feeding people. Welcoming others into my home. Inviting others to the table. Being connected by common experience and interests. Being captivated and challenged by differences. These things are eternal.

They’re love that lasts forever.

(Another one of my favorite renditions – Beth Rowley)

Posted in Feast, Music | Leave a Comment »

A Big To-Do

January 9, 2015 by Suzanne

Andi prompted our writing group this week to talk about lists. I am a list fiend. I love making lists. As someone who is not naturally grand at organization, lists (and extensive training from my mother, who is the list queen) have been my salvation in that area. My genes are missing that one little nugget of an otherwise pristine INTJ personality. I love anything that makes me look good at something for which I have almost no natural talent.

Many of my lists are kept on my phone. I keep a running grocery/home list of things I need so that I can grab them if I’m out and happen upon them so that I don’t have to make an extra trip later. I also keep a list of books I want to read and gift ideas for friends (also something that doesn’t come naturally to me, so I grab all the help I can get). I keep lists of story ideas and blog posts ideas. These lists have saved me from a lot of wasted time, frustration, and writer’s block, and unlike paper lists, which I will surely misplace or leave at home/work or douse with coffee, I always have them.

A few of my lists are old-school, written lists. At the beginning of every season (you can take the girl off the farm…), I make a master list of meals before I put them on my food calendar in my kitchen. Then I file it away with recipes (or notes on where I stashed the recipe online). It makes meal-planning super easy.

If I am making a special trip to the store for a specific event, I sometimes write the list out by hand. I’m not sure why. It could be nostalgia, or it could just be because I’m using my Pinterest app for ingredients and don’t want to keep flipping back over to the notes. These lists sometimes show up in my art journal, because they tell their own story. For instance, this list is for the first testing of Feast recipes.  It’s a notable moment for me. It also might be my most favorite grocery list I’ve ever made.

photo (20)

Happy.

I also write out goal lists. I have yearly goals, which I divide into quarterly goals, which I divide into weekly task lists. There is something about seeing a goal written in my own writing that makes it mean more to me. It’s weightier. I can’t blame anyone else for pushing it on me. It’s mine. I can tell, because it’s written in my own scrawl. It’s more satisfying to cross them off when they’re finished, too. I used to separate writing goals and work goals and personal goals, but now I put them all in one place, which has helped me be more realistic.

Do you make lists? Are they a help or a hindrance to you?

Posted in Andilit, Feast, Lists | Leave a Comment »

Winter Cleaning

January 3, 2015 by Suzanne

Every year during holiday break, I get the urge to organize. Normally, when I’m at home, it’s the house that gets the pampering. But since I’m dog sitting this week, I took the opportunity to clean up some of my email and do some paperwork and budget – things that get missed when I am at home and there are dishes to be done.

I found a great email thread of messages to myself that I forgot I had started in early summer (back when I was still teetering between Renaissance and forty as my theme for the year) of ideas about what I might want to spend my 2015 doing. Here are a few of them:

  • Finally learn Spanish
  • Run a race (5K? Half marathon?)
  • Go on ___ dates
  • Write letters
  • Send photo Christmas cards of Uncle Wallace (amazing, creepy Santa mouse) and the “kids” (ceramic mice)

1118131716

  • Embrace traditions of the women who came before me – Mom’s pies, MeMaw Sharp’s garden (herbs, since I’m currently apartment-living), MeMaw Catherall’s crochet/knitting blankets
  • Embrace my own traditions (4th of July party? Friendsgiving? Cookie party?)
  • Buy a keyboard
  • Take an art class
  • Take a cooking class
  • Buy a piece of art that moves me
  • Learn Italian or French
  • Get something pierced
  • Dance in a flash mob (or as part of some type of performance)
  • Keep flowers on the table and wine in the wine rack
  • Lose a pound for every year I’ve been alive

This series of emails also includes a pretty extensive travel list (well, extensive for me, considering that the farthest I have traveled in the last couple of years was Houston):

  • Trip by train
  • Atlanta
  • Drive up the west coast
  • Road trip – bookshop tour? Coffee shop tour? Connect-the-friends tour?
  • Writing retreats
  • Solitary retreat – perhaps somewhere beach-y?

I think all of that sounds pretty fun. It still seems to fit the year’s theme nicely.

It also sounds expensive.

I go back to work on Monday, so I’m getting my mind wrapped back around that this weekend. I don’t think I want to switch jobs just yet, so I’ve worked out a pretty intense budget that allows me to live within my current means – even during months when I don’t have my teaching paycheck – and save up some money to do some of the things on my wish list above.

Now, I don’t want to boss my word around and tell it what to do (you can’t always force these things). But you know what would be really fun, as a professional with a master’s degree and 15+ years experience in my field? To earn an income befitting a grown woman with those credentials.

I feel caught in haphazard youth. I am basically still living with the same financial restrictions I had in college. I love a good challenge, so it has been its own kind of fun, but I am beyond ready to move on.

I want an income that allows for the extravagant lifestyle to which I intend to become accustomed. And by “extravagant,” I do mean a lifestyle characterized by the ability to:

  • Pay off debts and live debt-free
  • Buy wholesome, mostly local food
  • Drink good coffee and wine
  • Donate consistently to causes close to my heart
  • Have a nice, modest home that is small enough that I don’t need outside help to keep it clean but big enough to entertain comfortably
  • Make ethical purchases (i.e., fair trade, waste-free, sweatshop-free, cruelty-free, etc.) without having to buy almost everything secondhand
  • Pamper myself with regular hair appointments and toiletries that I don’t have to make myself and that won’t give me an allergic reaction/cancer
  • Go out to eat/drink with friends once or twice a week
  • Travel.  Just ever.  Anywhere.

I – competent, educated, professional, adult woman – want to earn an income conducive to doing all these things as a matter of habit, not having to decide each payday which 2-3 get their turn that month.

That would be a lot of fun for me.

Posted in Coffee Shop Road Trip, Fun, Getting It Together, Hope, Lists, Renaissance, Resolutions | Leave a Comment »

Resolved, 2015 Edition

January 2, 2015 by Suzanne

This year is going to be a great year, if for no other reason than I’m turning 40, and I plan to be obnoxious about it – even more obnoxious than I usually am. I already celebrate for a whole week. This year, I’m celebrating the whole year. I almost made “forty” my OneWord365. The only thing that stopped me is that there aren’t many songs that fit that theme, and I’m going to need a playlist.

But it’s totally in the back of my mind. It’s going to be a focus, even if it’s not the main focus. I can just tell.

As with every year, I have writing goals, reading goals, and one word that will be my theme of the year.

Writing:

1. Write an average of 5,000 words toward a work in progress per week. That’s 5-10 hours a week. That’s 260,000 words. That’s finishing Feast and Fishbowl and getting a good chunk of another project, whatever it will be, off to a good start.

2. On the blog, I’d like to continue some series, start some new ones, and get some more guest posts. I would like to consistently post three times a week, even in weeks when I’m feeling quiet, which means writing posts ahead of time and getting them scheduled. I just want to be more organized and intentional about it.

Reading – three sets of 40:

1. 40 books by people of color. In examining the diversity of my influences (friends, music, things I read, etc.), I do okay in most areas. My blog reader is especially diverse; only about 20% of the bloggers I read are white/straight/middle-class/etc. You know – me-ish. There is room for improvement across the board, though, and nowhere is this more obvious than in my book list from 2014, which is remarkably whitewashed. This year, I am going to be more intentional about diversifying my reading list, and I’m going to start with race as the diversifying factor.

2. 40 classics. Every time I see lists of 100 pieces of classic literature that pop up (you know the ones – the braggy ones that show up on your well-read friends’ Facebook pages that encourage you to compare your reading list to theirs), I can’t even say that I’ve read a majority of them. And I know that comparison is the thief of joy, but I also suspect that when I watch The Newsroom, I would probably enjoy it more (assuming that’s even possible) if I had a better grasp of Don Quixote. I also know that reading works that stand the test of time will assist in teaching me to write works that stand the test of time, and I am very much interested in that.

3. 40 miscellaneous books – just for fun. I am including a third category to pay homage to all those books I read as part of book clubs and lazy days off and other such times. I also think that fun is an important element of reading, particularly this year, because fun is my word of 2015.

Theme – fun:

My first thought when choosing my one word for this year was “responsible.” After all, I just spent a year chasing beauty. Gorgeous, lovely, magical beauty. So my reaction to that was that I should follow it up with something more serious. Something to bring me back down to earth. Not that I ever left, really.  It turns out, down on earth, it’s actually quite beautiful.

But I have goals for the year. Practical goals. Goals that require focus. Goals that require structure. Goals that embrace the quotidian (which is a word I also love, but for very different reasons).

The problem I kept running into when thinking about any of these words as my theme for the year is that I associate them with boredom. I think of them as dull. Lifeless. Scarce. What I hear is “Reign it in,” as if I haven’t done enough of that in my life already.

Enough.

Also, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but I’m turning 40 this year. I am happy to be turning 40, because I have earned every year. I’m going to herald in this milestone. There might actually be trumpets involved.

There will probably come a year when I want to reclaim sensible words and focus on them, because they’re not bad words. There’s nothing inherently scarce about them. I just don’t think this is that year.

I considered making “Renaissance” my word. It encompasses both practicality and beauty, knowledge and art, form and function. But while I can definitely see all sorts of things being incorporated into my year (because learning is delightful), I can’t see it providing the sort of focus I’m going for.

This is a year for celebration. For a bit of decadence. For carousing and merriment and revelry. For indulgence. For liberality.

For fun.

Fun is so simple that I have the urge to pick another word for it. Merriment is a good word. Hullaballoo. Hoopla.

I don’t want to hide behind the word itself, though.  As fun as “fun” sounds, it’s not actually easy for me to do. It is much more like me (especially in the last ten years or so) to slip into that person who plans a great theme party and throws so much energy into planning and execution that I’m exhausted by the time the day of the party arrives. As you might imagine, parties aren’t so fun for me when I’m tired of them before they ever begin (reason #1 that I probably will hire a wedding planner if I ever get married, but that’s another blog post altogether).

So I’m keeping the plan – and the word – simple. Fun.

Are you setting New Year’s Resolutions?  If so, what are they?

Posted in Beauty, Books, Fun, Renaissance, Resolutions, Writing | 2 Comments »

What I’m Into – December 2014

December 31, 2014 by Suzanne

December has seemed really long. Thanksgiving seems like it was a year ago. I guess that’s good, since there’s usually a lot to cram into December. It’s also a little overwhelming, so much so that I’m almost at the end of my two and a half weeks of vacation, and I feel like I’m just getting started. But no – work comes back on Monday. I told Steph last night that what I really need is two weeks vacation and then another two weeks secret vacation where I’m still off work but no one else knows about it. Because you know what happens when you tell *cough*brag*cough* people you have oodles and oodles of free time? They trip over themselves to try to fill it up. Then you no longer have free time, which to me is the whole point of vacation. And I let them fill it up, because seeing them is wonderful, but while I have not done a single thing these last two weeks that I didn’t want to do, I have still done a lot of things and *omg tired* I need a break.

Here are some of the things I’ve been into this month:

1. Advent. It feels weird to say I’m “into” Advent. It’s not a club or a hobby. But yeah. I’m into it. It’s one of my favorite seasons of the liturgical year. I get waiting and anticipation, and it’s nice to take time to sink into it. Brenna D’Ambrosio’s In the Edges of the Day group has been vital to my ability to abide in Advent this year.  Thank you, Brenna!

2. The Newsroom. I have devoured all three seasons this month. I waited until after final speeches and papers were graded, because it’s just not fair to watch Aaron Sorkin while grading undergraduates in a freshman-level course. It’s too high a standard. But after grades were in, this is pretty much the main thing I did for the next week.

3. Food scavenging. I have been shameless. I can’t remember cooking once this whole month.  I take that back – I made meatballs. But other than that, I basically scavenged. I took home a vat of leftovers from Thanksgiving, and freezing some of them took me all the way through finals week. Every time I went to a party or gathering (and it was December, so I went to A LOT), and the host at the end of the night said, “Please. Everyone take some of this home,” (this might be a Southern thing) I did. I said yes to every freebie food that was offered to me this month. Favorite score – half a dozen everything bagels.

4. Reconnecting. I visited my hair stylist/colorist for the first time since August. We had a lot of catching up to do. I saw lots of family at Christmas, spent a day with Michelle, Steve, and Savvy, and have had dinner with beloved ones whom I hardly ever get to see when we’re living our normal lives. It was nice.

5. Dog sitting. I have been spending the week with these two little nuggets:

photo 1

I caught them sharing a pillow, even though most of the time they act like they don’t like each other. Sleep shots don’t lie, pups.

photo 2

D’aw. They’re so cute and cuddly. I just want to squish their faces with love. Some of their cutest moments are when they are sleeping. You know, when they are NOT staring at me or following me around the house or smacking their gums or barking at absolutely nothing. That is NOT cute. But most of the time – cute.

Buddy, Maddie, and I have enjoyed the crisp weather from the backyard, taken naps, and binge-watched New Girl. Good times.

Another thing I am into this month is nostalgia. December is a looking-back month. Five things I’ve been into this year that I want to carry into 2015 –

1. Meeting online friends in person. I haven’t done that since fandom, and I forgot how much I love it.

2. Feeding people and entertaining. That’s going to be a theme for me this year.

3. Poetry – writing it, reading it, reciting it to innocent bystanders/students.

4. Art journaling. My art journal is less art/more journal, but it’s mine, and I enjoy it.

5. Playing around with the blog. I’ve guest posted and hosted others here, and I have plans to do more of that (invitation coming next week, in fact). I also have enjoyed having themes and series. I want to continue the Coffee Shop Road Trip this coming year, and I haven’t given up on Getting It Together, although I am willing to admit that it might be a life project. I think it is for everyone, though, so I’m okay with that. I can’t wait to see what happens here this coming year!

So that’s my month/year in review.  What are you into?

I’m linking up with Leigh Kramer – join us?

Posted in What I'm Into | 2 Comments »

The Year of Beauty

December 30, 2014 by Suzanne

This year has not gone exactly according to plan (do they ever with me?). I didn’t read 100 books (which is two books a week – really not hard for me if I just read every day). Or finish Fishbowl (started Feast, however, and I’m pretty psyched about that). Or try 100 new vegan recipes (or probably not, anyway. I did eat a lot of vegan food.  However, I also really love goat cheese).

But I did embrace beauty.

I had all these preconceived notions of what having beauty for my word for the year would mean. I set up a Pinterest board to track them. Take a few minutes and peruse it. There are some pretty awesome things there. Beauty longs to be found, and it was pretty easy to do.

I found beauty where it was hidden. I looked around my world and, with the help of Jennifer Upton’s Re-Frame course, found beauty hiding in all sorts of overlooked places.

I found beauty where it had been neglected. I rediscovered things I liked about the way I look and see things, and I discovered new ways to look and see things that make them even more beautiful.

Most of all, I found beauty in a way that evokes a response. The most important thing about beauty that I learned this year is that once you see it, it’s hard to ignore. Beauty makes me want to create. I want to honor and celebrate the beauty in my life and the world. I want to embody it. I want to share it with others.

I thought for a while that my word for 2015 would be dance. Because that’s what beauty makes me want to do, both figuratively and literally. I want to celebrate my way through the year, basking in all the beauty that has been unleashed around me.

But dance is only part of it. Stay tuned.

photo (6)

Posted in Beauty | Leave a Comment »

Dwarves are very upsetting…

December 30, 2014 by Suzanne

Yesterday, I went to see the new Into the Woods with my sister and Mel and Hope.  It was really the only way we could have seen it, since Mel and Hope were the people who introduced us to it to begin with. We giggled all the way through it, sometimes before the line was even finished. It was a great outing.

Amendment: Tammy and I totally saw the filmed version of this play in high school. We have loved it even longer than I remembered.

On the movie itself, I have some thoughts.

1. I know what was missing from my life.  Chris Pine singing Agony. It made me so happy.

2. How dare they cut out the reprise of Agony from the second act! I know the whole play is too long to do as a film.  But come on!  “There’s a dwarf standing guard?” That’s just good comedy. Imagine Chris Pine singing this:

Excellent, no?

3. I really liked Anna Kendrick as Cinderella.  She did a great job.

4. Okay.  I know I’m going to lose some people here.  Meryl Streep. She’s awesome. She’s amazing. She’s fantastic. She did a fine job – a job she should be proud of. Worth every penny.

But.

She’s no Bernadette Peters.  There.  I said it.

Let’s move on.

5. This movie really should be a sing-along.  I know at least four people who would really enjoy that.

6. Just because it’s Disney and involves fairy tales does not automatically make it a movie for children. At least, not a public movie for children. Sure, it was funny when a certain character said, “May I kiss you?” and a kid in the theatre shouted out “NO!” But there were some moments when it was really uncomfortable that the children were there. Maybe they could watch it when it comes out on video at home, where they are free to ask questions or be redirected or distracted by puppets or something when scenes come up that raise questions that parents aren’t prepared to answer yet. That’s what a parental guidance rating means – that some parental guidance might be necessary, and that’s hard to do (and terribly annoying to others who are old enough to understand the movie without it being explained to them) while whispering in a theater.

7. Speaking of moments (or whole, complete scenes) that are not necessarily child-friendly, Johnny Depp as the wolf was everything I imagined he would be.

8. I didn’t enjoy Lilla Crawford as Red Riding Hood.  She wasn’t bad, and she has a nice voice.  But…the timing or something was off.  There were some great lines that she just didn’t hit right.

All in all, I liked it, and I really love that Hope drove in for the afternoon just to see it with us. That made it spectacular. Good friends.  Good times.

Posted in Lists | 2 Comments »

Portals of Water and Wine by R. L. Haas

December 22, 2014 by Suzanne

In the wee hours of this morning, I finished Portals of Water and Wine, the first in what promises to be a terrific trilogy by R. L. Haas.

powaw

My first reaction to finishing was to implore Rachel to “Write, Faster.” Because I’m gonna need the next one as soon as possible.

There are many reasons why I think you should buy, read, and fall in love with this book, but I’ll stick to my top three.

3. The Twists

Without giving away any of the plot, suffice it to say that when one is writing a story where ____ happens or someone does ____, it is tempting to get to resolution as soon as possible. We like good things to happen to good people and bad things to happen to bad people, and we want it to be straightforward and easy. But that’s not real, and that’s not good storytelling.

That’s not a problem in this book.

There are twists and turns, and they happen as jarringly in this story as they do in life. I kept glancing down at the percentage bar on the bottom of my Kindle. 85%. 90%. 95%. I kept thinking, “Whew.  That’s it. The book’s almost finished. It’s done. We can all relax.” Nope. The twists kept coming just as strongly at the end as they did in the beginning. The end is an excellent setup for the next installment.

2. The Imagery

This beautiful fantasy world that Rachel has created is so easy to picture. Her descriptions are gorgeous. I was right there with the main character, going breathless at the sights before us.

Better yet, she somehow avoided what many authors seem to think is a necessary dullness in describing the characters’ appearances like they’re walking down a runway, so everyone has to stop what they’re doing and watch politely before the story can go on. She describes them by weaving the descriptions into the story in a way that it not only gave us a description of what they looked like but of who they are and, in some cases, even helped move the plot along.

Which leads me to my number one reason…

1. The Characters

Getting to know the characters in this book – and growing to love them – was a gradual process. That is exactly as it should be. Too often, first chapters read like the characters’ social media profiles, telling us what the author wants us to think of them. As a reader, though, I don’t want to be told by a third party what to think or how to relate to a character. I want to observe the character and draw my own conclusions.

Rachel trusts her characters to reveal themselves. And they do.  And I love them.

This will mean very little to anyone who doesn’t know me from fandom days or who has never been an active part of a fandom themselves, but I have to say it – these characters are so alive that I want to write fanfiction about them.

For a point of reference, when I say that, it puts them up there with such iconic characters as Superman and Lex Luthor. Pippin and Merry. I’ve only read the first of this trilogy, and I already have an OTP (and no – I’m not going to tell you who it is…it’s too soon…maybe after the second book…maybe).

Buy this book. Buy the paperback. Buy the ebook. But buy it.

And Rachel – thank you.  And write faster!

Posted in Books | Leave a Comment »

Wisdom Streaks

December 18, 2014 by Suzanne

In a few months, I will be turning 40. I plan on celebrating the whole year.  I plan on being thoroughly obnoxious about it.  So there’s that for you to look forward to.

I usually dye my hair, but this semester, partly out of curiosity as to what was really going on under there and partly out of the more pressing matter of dealing with the whale of semester it has been, I have let my natural hair grow in a little.

Observation: I have some pretty serious wisdom streaks going on.

photo 1

“Wisdom streaks” is the term one of my beloved friends uses for the effect created when gray hairs are growing among the rest of the hair. One of my residents called it “tinsel.” Acceptable.

I like to play with my hair color, so I’m not quite ready to go all gray. And really – neither is my hair.  As you can see in the picture above, there’s still some brown peeking through. But in another ten years, when I imagine the majority of it will have turned, I just might.

It is beautiful. The picture doesn’t do it justice. My tinsel hairs are shiny and silver. This means that when I am old enough for all my hairs to be gray, not only will I be even more well-rounded, well-read, and generally badass than I am now, I will have the metallic rock star hair to match.

For now, though, I am having fun with the mocha color.  And in the new year, I’m going red again. Or copper streaks. I haven’t decided. But I’m still having fun with colors.

I also love the little flippy thing the long bob (or lob, as it was called in the magazine I was reading while waiting for the color to set) does at the end. Observe:

photo 2

Underneath it all, though – I know. Shiny wisdom streaks. I’m going to look awesome when I’m old.

Posted in Beauty | 4 Comments »

December

December 1, 2014 by Suzanne

photo (15)

We are in the final two weeks of the semester.  I had grand plans for grading, decorating, writing, and art journaling last week that just didn’t happen. I had plans this year to get it together, to focus on beauty, and to read 100 books, and I feel like all of those have fallen short of expectation as well. It would be easy to be discouraged. It would be really easy to power through and forget about Advent for the next two weeks, but I am pretty sure that doing so would have the exact opposite of the intended effect.

So I am engaging in intentional reflections. I am reading, journaling, and poetry-ing my way through Isaiah. I am joining Susannah Conway’s community project called December Reflections, and I am finishing up my year of beauty by looking for beauty in the ordinary through Awake the Bones. They will mostly be found on Instagram, but I’m sure they will make an occasional appearance here.

Right now, I’m just going to mind the mug and drink my coffee in peace.

Posted in awake the bones, Beauty, Church | Leave a Comment »

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