M. Suzanne Terry

This sign was up at Salon LaPage when I went for my appointment in March. I had to grab a snapshot.

Lucky is the word I chose (with some trepidation) to guide my year. Sometimes the word I choose lends itself to a lot of reflection and sharing. Sometimes it lends itself to more action than words. This year, I think it’s both, and I’ve been lacking in the reflection part.

One reason for this is that I didn’t actually take the time to define what I think lucky looks like, so the first thing I want to do in this series is remedy that. For me, lucky means having things you work toward (and occasionally even things you don’t) go your way in a reasonably smooth manner. I know. Still pretty vague. It’s hard to pin down because it’s hard to see this happening in the moment. What’s easier to pin down are some of the elements that in retrospect have paved the way for situations to unfold seamlessly. Perhaps some of these elements ring true for you as well:

• Organizational and social structures that are designed to reward the work their leaders claim to value
• A solid personal support system
• Minimization of the influence of structures and persons who fail to provide the support I would expect from something/someone whom I trust to provide
• Habits that move me toward my goals and the person I’m becoming
• Good timing

This doesn’t totally set the stage for what I think of as lucky, but it’s a good start. The areas of my life where I feel the luckiest are not necessarily the ones where I work the hardest, although work is usually a crucial part of the process. The main factor that seems to determine success is my environment. This discovery has been empowering. While I cannot conform what others do or give (nor would I want to – they have as much right to set their own boundaries as I do), I can choose where and to whom I give my own energy. What a difference it makes when it’s to people who give it back.

I suspect this is how other people make their own luck, too.

Another reason I’ve been lacking in reflection, though, is fear. I’ve been afraid to address the thing that most often gets in the way of luck, and I’m definitely nervous about sharing it. Anxiety is hard. It’s hard to feel lucky when something simple like getting out of bed and getting to work on time is derailed by waking up in panic mode. It doesn’t matter if it wakes me up earlier than I intended to get up. The sheer volume of time it takes when this happens to get to a place where I can stand to be around lots of sounds and people in anything resembling a coherent and productive fashion renders any extra time useless. Anxiety messes with my schedule, and that pisses me off. There is also an acute social aspect to my anxiety, which makes a lot of things challenging, such as finding people (or a therapist) with whom I can connect enough to relax and trust their support.

A lot of the techniques I’m discussing in this series are about how I create an environment in which I can thrive. Even though my process is very specific to me, I hope that parts of it can be helpful to you or maybe give you some ideas on how to find the support you need in your life.

Sundays will have an overview of the week’s topic. Monday through Thursday will include some of the strategies I use. Since this week is short, I’m going to spend tomorrow and Thursday taking about general tools that help with everything. On Fridays, I’ll share strategies I have heard good things about, things I’d like to try, or things I don’t personally use but might be helpful to you.

Finally, Saturdays will be a practice of being more candid about my personal struggles. I’m confident with practicalities, so I tend to hide behind them. But they don’t tell the whole story. I want to tell my story better.

I’ll also link each post here for reference.

Welcome to 31 days of creating luck!

Day 2 – Have a Plan
Day 3 – Rituals
Day 4 – Five Methods for Tracking Progress
Day 5 – On Being on Time
Day 6 – Lucky at Home
Day 7 – Fueling Up for Real
Day 8 – Reboot