“Radiation is going fine. No side effects. Just a little tired.” Except we’re a good bit into July, and I’m just now posting my TBR. And it’s a big one! Fortunately, my reading is still on track, so I’ve finished a couple of these and started several more already.
I have the Dewey’s Reverse Readathon (reverse in that it starts at 8:00 p.m. instead of 8:00 a.m. like their usual readathon does) coming up at the end of the month, but I also have some use-it-or-lose-it comp time to eat up at work, so I’m looking for other days to do my own little reading staycation at some point.
In other words, plenty of time to read all these books.
I am juggling so many reading challenges I’m not sure which books I’m reading for what anymore. I just pick the top one off the stack and dive in. So far, it seems to be working out just fine.
Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (book that came out four years ago – also my fantasy selection for Rise and Shine book club this month)
Well, that’s a lot. But many of them are short, so maybe they’ll be quick reads. I think I can make a pretty big dent in this list if I get to put aside all the time I hope for this month. Wish me luck!
Happy June! I am nearing the end of my post-surgery convalescence. I have had a few doctor’s appointments and dealt with a nasty bout of nausea last week, but otherwise, I’ve pretty much been spending the past two weeks eating, sleeping, and reading. In other words, living my best life. I won’t go so far as to say it’s been a vacation – healing from surgery isn’t my idea of a good time – but it’s definitely been restful and quiet.
I’ve become a fan of DoorDash. I just ordered an omelet this morning, and it was on my doorstep by the time I put in a load of laundry and made coffee. I could get used to this.
Another wonderful thing is that I’ve regained some of the focus I lost during chemo. I’ve already finished several books this month, and I have ambitions to finish many more. My reading lately has been cozy and homey with a nod to Pride Month sprinkled in, and most of my selections for this month seem to continue this trend.
Book Clubs (which I may actually be able to attend again soon!)
I’m definitely making up for my lost year with the number of reading challenges I’m attempting. It’s been a fun way to choose what to read next. This month, I’m mostly focusing my efforts on the summer reading challenges. My yearly favorite is Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Guide. As a Patreon supporter, I have access to the whole guide in all its glory, but I’m working through the books that are out so far from the Minimalist list first:
Lies and Weddings by Kevin Kwan (already read and…maybe my last Kevin Kwan. Or maybe I try reading only print copies, because I really did not enjoy the audio of this one or Crazy Rich Asians. Or does he write any books about people whose biggest problems aren’t gaining or maintaining ungodly wealth and prestige? Because he’s a good writer – I might enjoy a story of his if he wrote about characters I could actually sympathize with or if I could care at all whether they get what they want in the end.)
In addition to its year-long challenge, the 52 Book Club also has a summer mini-challenge. For extra kicks, I’m going to try finishing off these prompts in the order they’re listed. June’s selections include:
A lot of these also fit prompts from some of my year-long challenges, so bonus!
Miscellaneous Reads
As with every month, there are books that I’m reading either because I’ve borrowed them from a friend, they’re due at the library soon, or I just couldn’t resist picking them up.
I realize this is quite an ambitious list, but at the rate I’ve been reading, it’s not impossible. This is, of course, assuming that my attention span doesn’t crash and burn again, but there’s really no predicting these things. I prefer to keep my plan pretty optimistic anyway.
The past few years, I’ve made a summer bucket list. Mostly, I’ve done it because I have to talk myself into liking summer as a season because it is so, so hot in Texas and that’s the worst. It also keeps me more grounded in the present instead of always focusing on future plans. And of course, making these lists is also a good way to check in with goals to either make sure I’m on track or get myself back on track.
So why not do that with every season?
Here are some things I want to do this spring.
Buy fresh flowers. I have received so many flowers this year, and it’s been lovely. I mean, some of them have made me sneeze and thus had to live elsewhere for a little while. But I really love seeing fresh flowers when I come home. Bonus to picking out/buying them myself? I know I’ll get what I love and still be able to breathe normally.
Plant citrus trees. My friend Jessica gave me a bunch of citrus seeds, and soon (this weekend, maybe?) I’m going to plant them in buckets to see if they come up. I’ve already got the pots and the soil, so all that’s left to do is plant!
Drink tea and read when it rains. It rains so much this time of year, and I don’t take advantage of that nearly as often as I could. A cup of tea and a good book are excellent accompaniments to a chorus of rain. It’s my ideal quiet morning/afternoon/any time.
Play springy playlist when cooking. Cooking is relaxing to me, but lately it’s been mostly a utilitarian, get-in-get-out, cutting-corners process. I want to reintroduce my former habit of playing music to set the mood and make cooking more fun. I have all sorts of playlists for this already (brunch, spring, etc.); it’s just a matter of remembering to put one on when I start.
Get my feet ready for sandal season. I often neglect my feet during winter. I’ve been doing better this year out of necessity (the neuropathy side effects of chemo are no joke), but I still want to give them a little extra TLC before I expose them to the elements with summer footwear.
Re-establish my strength routine and take some long walks. My back seized up for the first time ever last week. Clearly a sign that I’ve been slacking on my core strength. Or that I’m just getting older. But a solid strength routine and regular walks can only help with both physical and mental health, so I want to make both a priority again.
Visit the Denton Community Market. This is the best place to get local, seasonal produce. Also, it’s just one of my favorite things Denton does. Bonus to going in spring rather than summer – the weather outside may actually be bearable.
Life seems to be plodding along lately. I am not doing a lot of things I’d usually do because I don’t have the energy (and also there are so, so many germs out there that my body just can’t handle being around right now). My treatment has hit a small hiccup (delayed due to concerning lab results – nothing too drastic or out of the ordinary, I’m assured), and that’s frustrating.
But I’m getting through it without too many terrors, so I guess that’s something.
This weekend, I participated in Dewey’s 24-hour Readathon. And by participated, I do mean read sporadically and fell asleep a lot. I finished one of the books I started, though, and I’ll probably finish another tonight. I don’t see me finishing the book for book club by tomorrow. It’s a long one, and while I started it last month, I haven’t been reading consistently so time got away from me a bit.
The whole weekend was so relaxing. I even got some journaling in, and I remembered my word for the year.
Quiet.
In many ways, it has been quieter simply because I’m doing less and staying home more. I’m even doing less when I’m at home. I still clean and work on projects but in much shorter spurts. I haven’t had the attention span to read as much as usual. I’ve decided that while I’m still going to try to complete some of my reading challenges, writing reviews for each book I do read is probably not a reasonable expectation this year. So it’s been quieter here, too.
But when I do leave home, everything is so intense.
I’m not just going to work; I’m rushing through getting things done because I’m out so much with appointments and don’t want to miss anything important. Also, my office is moving (again) into a louder part of the office (again). One day, I’ll actually get to settle into this position and feel like I have my head on straight. I hope.
I’m not just getting regular check-ups but intense treatments that make me feel puny, and that affects every other aspect of my life.
I’m attending very few social events, but I feel way more social than usual because I’m trying to keep people informed and constantly answering questions of “How are you doing?” and “How can I help?” which are very sweet questions to ask. I do miss, however, having conversations about literally anything else. I’m so tired of talking about myself (which I realize may not be believable given that I’m currently doing so on the internet but…you get it).
What I want to explore this week is carving out quiet spaces in the chaos. I want to turn my new office into a calm area where I can be productive without getting overstimulated. I want to give myself buffers around my appointments so that I am not just darting to them and rushing back but having a chance to process (or just breathe) a little before I jump right into the next thing. I want to be bolder about changing the subject when I can’t possibly fathom talking about my body or my needs for one minute longer. Simply ending these conversations when I need to is also a good alternative.
I enjoy solitude and quiet time, so while this is a challenge, it’s a welcome one. In fact, I think it’s just what I need to get myself back to some semblance of what I meant this year to be.
I’ll probably also read some May Sarton. Probably some Louise Glück. And because the libro.fm reading challenge prompt, “Listen to at least ten minutes of an audiobook every day for a month” will make me listen to just a little bit of poetry every day, Poetry Unbound, curated by Pádraig Ó Tuama.
One of my in-person book clubs is participating in a choose-your-own-adventure poetry night, where we share our favorites of the poems we read this month with each other. The library book club is discussing our favorite young adult selections. The other two are reading:
Other than my book club selections and the heightened focus on poetry, though, I am taking the rest of my reading time this month to read the things from January-March’s TBRs that I haven’t finished yet. Or at least make a dent in them. My focus and reading speed have been way down recently, but given everything else that’s going on, I suppose that makes sense. Taking a month to acknowledge that and regroup.
Read a book by an author with an upcoming event (virtual or in person) and then attend the event (Book Riot)
Additional/Ongoing Reads
Sarah and I are tackling Proust together this year, so I’ve just started Swann’s Way. I’m also still working through Sacred Self-Care for Lent, and reading several books about health.
Welcome to February! Finally. January always feels about 524 days long. I hear several people say that every year, but it lollygagged especially hard this year.
Here’s my reading plan for this month. Or, rather, my start reading and then get distracted and read something else (that may or not be on the list at all) or just binge-watch a TV show I’ve already seen 14 times while holding the book open on my lap instead of reading plan.
I thought about continuing my mini-reviews of the books I’m reading according to their reading challenge. But since some books count for multiple challenges, that seems like a lot to keep up with. So I think what I’m going to do is scatter a few in there and maybe have an occasional extra post for the rest unless I find a way to do it that I like better. Or, as with this post, I may just extend my five-item limit on weeks when I have more books, etc., than bullet points to talk about (five is less of a rule and more of a guideline). One thing is for sure – I love talking about what I’m reading/have read, so I’ll be sure to keep you posted.
Here are some things that have been meaningful to me this week (and a little bit of last week):
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry – Almost every year, on New Year’s Day, it is my custom to read this small book. It is chock full of all sorts of gentle wisdom, and it’s easily one of my top five favorite books of all time. The quote that stuck out to me this year goes along with my quiet theme. “I have always loved the desert. One sits down on a desert sand dune, sees nothing, hears nothing. Yet through the silence something throbs, and gleams…” There is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now (I mean, more than usual – there’s always uncertainty for everyone). But I know that even though I don’t have definitive answers, there is still much to hear and learn. So I’m going to sit on my proverbial sand dune and listen.
Check & Mate by Ali Hazelwood – So cute! Like all of Hazelwood’s books, this one had a lovable main character who, from the outside, was infuriating because it was so obvious that the love interest was totally gaga over her but of course, she thought the opposite. From the inside, however, she was totally relatable because I also am oblivious and can totally see how she didn’t pick up on the very clear signs. This was the author’s first YA novel, and it was great.
Self-Care for People With ADHD by Sasha Hamdani, MD – I follow Dr. Hamdani on Instagram, and her advice there is so poignant, so when I saw that she had this book out, I scooped it up. A lot of the tips in the book are pretty standard for neurospicy folks, and it would be a good reference for people who are just discovering their specific challenges. The work and social self-care sections were the most useful for me.
Tom Lake by Ann Patchett – Ann Patchett is one of my favorite authors, and Meryl Streep read the audiobook, so picking this one up as soon as I could was a no-brainer for me. I love the way she writes family dynamics. It was a strong, charming story made even better by the expert reading by Streep.
I hope you have a relaxing weekend full of your favorite things and people!
Regardless of what this year brings, I suspect a lot of it will be fueled by coffee. Unless a doctor who thinks they’re funny tells me I have to give it up forever. And then – I may just have to die (kidding…probably).
Setting resolutions seems like a lot right now. But I do have things I’m working on and plan to continue working on, so, as is my New Year’s Day custom, I want to acknowledge that.
In addition to exploring quiet as a theme, I have three main goals. None of them are going to be a surprise; in fact, I think I’ve already alluded to all of them in the last few days or weeks.
Reading
I’m keeping the same reading goal I had in 2023 by planning to read 180 books this year. I’ve joined Storygraph and if I like it, I will likely migrate fully over to that tracking system (rather than Goodreads) by the end of the year. Expect each month’s TBR to contain what I’m reading for book clubs, reading challenges, my exploration of quiet, and whatever else I get a wild hair to pick up.
Creative Education
I learned so much in 2023 about setting challenging but attainable creative goals and improving my writing and other art. This year, I had planned to give myself three semesters for my continuing creative education. Each one is 12 weeks long with a few weeks at the end to rest and finish planning the next one, and each one includes specific elements:
Work(s) in progress
Central text
Supplemental resources
Creative community
Weekly goals/practices
The next main text I’m working through is Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. I have all 12 weeks outlined and I’m starting today.
In looking over my notes from the last time I worked through it, though, it occurs to me that it may take me longer than 12 weeks to really sink my teeth into it, especially if I want to get the most out of it and still have quiet space and make room for healing and pay any attention at all to literally any other goal.
Or, you know, do my jobs. Probably should leave some space for those, too.
In fact, I’m wondering if this may be more of a full 12-month project. I am nervous about this because that is a long-focus commitment, and that’s not typically my best setup for success. It is definitely out of my comfort zone. Will I get bored? Will I put it aside to chase something shinier? Will it feel like torture after the excited hyperfocus wears off?
Maybe. All of those things sound exactly like me.
But also – maybe if I reframe it from a 12-month project to a series of 12 3(ish)-week projects with a little break (as needed) in between them, I can…
Get more out of the deeper dive into each section
Keep from overextending (and thus overwhelming) myself
Learn how to enrich my creative life in a steady, sustainable way
Who knows? I have a stronger writing schedule now than I did the first time I went through this book, so maybe I’ll blaze right through these exercises according to the recommended timeline, and I can go on to the next course I have planned in April or May. Or maybe I’ll be really glad to have extra time to savor what each section of the book has to teach me. Either way, I’m looking forward to working through it.
Health
I had big plans for my health goals for this year, too. I’ve worked hard to maintain a pretty steady routine of cardio and strength training. This was going to be the year that I really focused on my strength, mobility, flexibility, and stamina.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
I planned to spend January-April putting myself through a sort of health boot camp (only…reasonable). I’m about at that time in life when I really see a need to take mobility, stamina, flexibility, and strength seriously [PSA – you’re never too young to take these things seriously]. I mean, I already stretch every morning before getting out of bed so that I don’t hobble with tight muscles and cramped feet on the way to the shower. I maintain my core strength because it supports literally everything else. But back in September, I slept in my recliner for two nights waiting for the mattress I ordered to unfold/expand and be ready to sleep on. I was so sore and exhausted those two days. Sometimes, I get wheezy when I go up the stairs or walk too quickly (i.e., the same speed I’ve always walked) across campus. My cholesterol is out of control. When these things happen, I’ll think it’s allergies or infection or I’ll wonder if I’m getting sick, and then my brain will remind me, “No…you’re just almost 50.” Which is rude. And accurate.
I think we all understand I am not the sort of person who will go gentle into that good night. I am only almost 50. As far as I know, I’ve got a lot of living left to do, and I intend to do it well and with sufficient energy.
So I created a 14-week exercise plan designed to help me do that. I even made a list of motivational reads, such as Intuitive Eating, The Slow AF Run Club, books on dance, etc., to help keep myself inspired and focused.
I also planned to book some sessions with a counselor to ensure I’m doing these things for healthy reasons (I have a history of disordered eating and am easily mesmerized by weight loss, and my control issues don’t get to be in charge here).
And then I started having more appointments with doctors and specialists and surgeons (oh my). So those are my plans right now.
My intended goals are important things to take seriously, and I’m sure I’ll get to them when I’m back on my regular routine assessment schedule instead of talking about diagnoses, surgeries, restrictions, and recovery. I’ve already got my plan with specific milestones laid out and ready to go, and there’s no reason that I have to stop working toward the next goal immediately.
But when it’s time to rest, it’s time to rest. And at that time, most of my well-organized plans will have to be put on hold. And then to some extent, I will have to start over.
There are a few elements that I can still do while resting, such as staying hydrated and eating what I need to eat to feel the way I want to feel (there’s a whole long, boring list that I’ll spare you). For the most part, though, my health goals are going to need to be adaptable to whatever situation I’m facing that week. And I’m still booking the counselor; we just have other things to talk about now.
So that’s it. Those are my goals for the year (which are really just a continuation of things I’m already working toward). Read 180 books, finish The Artist’s Way, and try not to die.
I knew what next year’s theme word would be about four months ago. I was just catching my breath from jumping into the new job (still catching my breath on some days), and I was grateful for the lessons that pondering the concept of home had taught me up to that point.
The more I thought about home and what it means to make space to be at home in my life and all the things that go with that, though, the more I recognized an underlying quality I need in order to feel not just at home but at rest.
I need quiet.
This is not to say that I only need quiet. I still need community and conversation and music. The sound of wind chimes. The happy chaos of change and growth. However, a better, more consistent balance is in order.
At the beginning of each day, I start with the energy and focus I need to see it through. And if everything stays in balance, it will take me through the whole day, including my decadent hour(s) of reading each night. But if I try to do too much or there is too much going on around me, I run out quickly and early. And when it’s done, it’s done. There’s no more until the next day.
This is particularly important to keep in mind as I face surgery (surgeries?) in the next few months. I don’t know all the specifics of what my current health challenges will require of me, but I do know I will need considerable space for them. It would be unreasonable to try to go into this particular season with the same timetable and to-do list as usual as if no adjustments were needed.
Quiet is showing up right on time.
In the past couple of years, I’ve outlined my theme word with definitions and what I think it might mean or where it might take me. But I think I’m just going to acknowledge this one and let it sit here. I look forward to exploring it.
Do you choose a theme/word for your year? I’d love to hear what it is!
M. Suzanne Terry 