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Archive for the ‘Quiet’ Category

Day 30 – Readathons Gone Awry

Posted in 31 Days, Books, Getting It Together, Health, Home, Joy, Quiet, Seasons, tagged , , , , on October 30, 2024| Leave a Comment »

“One doesn’t need magic if one knows enough stories.”

“I was delighted to sit in the corner with my food and a book and speak to no one.”

Heather Fawcett, Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries

This past weekend, I participated (loosely) in Dewey’s 24-hour Readathon. The official time was 8 a.m. Saturday to 8 a.m. Sunday (EST). But I (and various others in the Discord and in the Facebook group) rarely actually stick to the time of the event. My goal, for example, was to simply read a collective 24 hours. I think the Dewey’s team is on to us – instead of hourly challenges, they just listed a handful of challenges to complete “at any time during the readathon.”

I completed no challenges.

I didn’t read a full 24 hours.

I barely remembered to post the picture of the stack I was choosing from (see above) on the group’s social media pages.

I carried on with plans to attend my favorite yearly Halloween party and Spiderdead, brazenly cutting into the hours I would usually set aside on readathon weekends to read.

I finished three books, but only one of them is actually in this stack (Fang Fiction – pretty cute!).

What I got out of the readathon was still pretty magical.

I got to tuck into stories about found families and books and several other favorite themes. I ate good, simple food, so I rested better (weird how that happens) and thus felt more refreshed when the weekend was over (despite it being a “busy” one). I embraced my full homebody self without the usual twinge of guilt about what a person who lives alone should want to do on the weekend.

These twinges are getting smaller and less frequent as I age. One reason for this is that I’m accepting who I am more and becoming less apologetic about it with each passing month. Another reason is that I get so much joy and restoration out of my alone time that there is little to no room left for feeling bad about it.

At any rate, I had a great weekend, and I look forward to many more like it as the season changes.

Reading more makes me want to write more. I’m reflecting on my reading this year.

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Day 11 – Friday (Not) Five – My Inner Hobbit

Posted in 31 Days, Alive, Books, Friday Five, Getting It Together, Health, Mental Health, Quiet, Work, tagged , , on October 11, 2024| Leave a Comment »

I subscribe to quite a few blogs/newsletters, and that’s where a lot of my daytime reading goes. Here are my musings on three that stuck out to me this week. There were a couple others from Substack, but just as it was getting interesting, the prompt to become a paid subscriber popped up, so I’ll spare you those. I may have more to say about that later (not all bad…just…more).

  • Loving Your Inner Hobbit – Ask Polly (aka Heather Havrilesky). “The truth is, I think that most of us — even those of us who outwardly appear lazy or disorganized or prone to underachieving — hold ourselves to uncomfortably high standards. We’re plagued by guilt without consciously realizing it. We’re ashamed of our regular human urges. We feel like we’re letting ourselves down constantly, just by being human.” I have been feeling this a lot recently. I mean, I have overachiever tendencies all the time, but I’ve trained them to stay mostly dormant. Not right now, though. I have a lot of anxiety – mostly about work, but also about other things in my life that I feel like I’m missing the mark on. And as much as I would love to blame other people, the bulk of this stress really is just coming from inside the house. All the grace other people are extending to me seems to bounce right off this hard shell of expectations that I have for myself. I want to embrace my inner hobbit (that’s pretty much my whole personality, btw. Ultra homebody. I don’t know anyone who loves being at home as much as I do.); I just seem to have temporarily forgotten how.
  • Coffee Table Books – Ginger Horton (MMD Book Club). “Gift books and coffee table books—you know the ones, usually hardcover with loads of glossy photos or illustrations, probably picked up in that impulse section of your local bookstore, or even in a boutique or on vacation—provide some of my favorite reading experiences. And yet when a friend asks, ‘What are you reading?’ I’m prone to forget to mention that gorgeous volume on the nightstand that’s been flipped through many times or the little book of essays that sits in the breakfast nook.” This rings so true for me. Some of my favorite reading experiences are not the things I talk about the most. They’re not the books I read cover to cover and then mark as read on my reading tracker apps. They’re the design books in my living room that I thumb through when I need to see something pretty or the short humor essays I read (or re-read) when I need a quick laugh. As I get more shelves and reorganize my collection, that’s becoming more of what’s on my TV shelf – books that are best enjoyed in increments.
  • Bracing Yourself: How To Process Breast Cancer After Treatment Ends – Bezzy BC. “You won’t be told how to manage survivors’ guilt or how to respond to the continuous stream of messages that will no doubt flood every inbox you own. You won’t be prepared for the fake quick fixes your loved ones will tell you about because they heard it from a complete stranger in a grocery checkout line. You won’t be told how to feel when people you have contact with every single day drop off the face of the earth because your cancer diagnosis is too much for them.” Another thing I wasn’t told is that there’s this weird space between treatment and after treatment. I’ve rung the bell, signifying that the big three – chemo, surgery, radiation – are done. But I still have the port because I’m still getting immunotherapy treatments every three weeks, and I still have routine checkups and tests in the upcoming months to confirm that what we did actually worked. Is it really “after” if there are still appointments on the books? If I still feel the lingering symptoms from radiation and chemo (or maybe even surgery)? Part of processing involves knowing exactly where I stand, and I’m not really sure how to do that. The ground under me feels pretty shaky right now.

I am staring down the last few hours of work and then I am looking forward to a restful weekend.

Hope your weekend is everything you want it to be!

And I hope you’re enjoying my reading reflections this month.

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Day 3 – Echo

Posted in 31 Days, Beauty, Books, Core, Home, Mental Health, Quiet, tagged , , , , on October 3, 2024| 2 Comments »

“Give yourself permission to make your networks echo chambers.”
Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes, Sacred Self-Care: Daily Practice for Nurturing Our Whole Selves

I’ve gotten a lot of advice on how to take it easy this year. Most of it was wisdom I specifically sought out, whether in reading or asking questions of people who had either gone through what I was going through or at least seemed like they were doing something right.

When I read this quote, it punched me in the gut a little. It was gentle enough for me to be amenable to it but strong enough for me to take notice.

One of my core values is curiosity. I love learning new things. I am fascinated by perspectives and experiences different from my own. I aim to start conversations by being open to explanations and trying to understand rather than by assuming I already know their intentions and have decided they’re the worst.

This practice has served me well. I am more liberal than the average Democrat (Two-party system? More like two sides, same coin) and I live in Texas. I have a lot of…opportunities…to listen to people with whom I disagree. And with many people (not all – some people really are just assholes full of hate), when I listen to them, they let their guard down enough to listen back. And we both learn that we have more goals in common than we thought. They no longer see me as the enemy they imagined me to be.

Changing hearts and minds, one radical conservative at a time.

An echo chamber (wherein you surround yourself only with people who agree with you) is not generally conducive to this practice. My gut reaction to Dr. Walker-Barnes’s advice was immediately no.

Then the curiosity kicked in.

As I read on, I thought about all the places that I carve out in my life where I feel safe. Places where every word isn’t a constant struggle and every nuance doesn’t have to be analyzed and defined. They still challenge me and make me think (because I like that) but they at least give me a soft and loving place to do it.

I see this all over my environment. For example, the picture above was taken in my office at work. I have

  • Twinkle lights (that need new batteries but still – they’re there)
  • Pretty bottles and rocks
  • A nice mix of inspiring nonfiction, fiction, and poetry
  • Fun stuff for play and art

A visual echo chamber, if you will.

The more I read, the more I wondered what it would be like if at least one of my social media networks was an echo chamber. What if, when I opened the app, I wasn’t immediately bombarded with every snarky, petty dig someone could think to take at people who are doing what I consider to be good in the world? What would that be like?

So I tried it on Instagram. Mass unfollowing. That alone was pretty cathartic.

The days that followed, though? Heavenly. There is so much wonderful going on out there. Did you all know this? I’m a little sad that I missed out on it for so long.

It’s still not all shiny happy news, but it’s very grounding. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone (because in Texas, I often feel very, very alone).

How do you feel about echo chambers? What purpose (if any) do they serve in your life?

I’m reflecting on what I’ve read this year.

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Friday Five – Off Days

Posted in Alive, Books, Friday Five, Fun, Health, Quiet, Work, Writing on August 3, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Welcome to August! The staff have been in training this week, and today was their big breakfast, so I went in early to cover the office so they all could go. I am glad I went in this morning, but after treatment, I was even happier to go home, have a leisurely lunch, run some errands, and check in with my stylist to tame these cute little tufts that are forming all over my head. 

I’m at the point in my treatment where the end is in sight. So even though I still feel fatigued and itchy and constantly on the verge of infection (I’m assured I’m fine – it’s just part of the fatigue – but I’m taking a ridiculous amount of vitamins and treating it like a precursor to a cold anyway), I’m starting to notice again how much I’m missing out on by just not having the energy to do more than the bare minimum. 

I don’t subscribe to a lot of paid Substack accounts, but Roxane Gay’s posts are well worth the small fee I pay each month for it. I get access to her book club discussions, and essays on things like learning to write again from a seasoned writer and educator. I feel like I’m learning to write again as well. I’ve been journaling, but it’s not the same as losing myself in fiction or poetry, and I’m pretty rusty. It’s been a bit of a slog, and I’m grateful to hear that this, too, is common and overcomeable (a word? I don’t think that’s a word. Welp, it is now).

Here are some other things I’ve enjoyed reading this week:. 

  • It is so hard to find a therapist. I feel this post in my soul. Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes is one of my main go-to sources for practical advice when it comes to self-care and rest. She echoes a lot of my own struggles in this piece.
  • I love Joy the Baker’s team and their Let It Be Sunday posts, and this past Sunday’s edition was especially good. I particularly enjoyed the pieces on how to cope with the social exhaustion of work (and I have needed these tips this week with all the training) and tips on travel (which is something else I may be interested in as I come out of my treatment fog. Maybe. We’ll see. Got some ideas for my birthday next March.). 
  • Mountain Ash Press is having a submissions contest. I don’t project having a manuscript that’s ready to submit by August 31 myself, but if you do, check it out and see if it’s a good fit!
  • The longlist for the Booker Prize is out!
  • I love the post from Modern Mrs. Darcy about one of my favorite mystery series. If I were to name a place in literature I’d like to visit, Three Pines would be at the top of my list. If you haven’t read any Inspector Gamache, here’s a good Louise Penny Starter Kit for you.

I hope that your week has been OK and that you have a good and restful weekend. Take care, friends!

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Friday Five – Busy Week!

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Feminism, Friday Five, Health, Joy, Quiet, Work on June 14, 2024| Leave a Comment »

This week was a lot. First week back to work after surgery, and it went pretty well. We had two Freshman Orientation sessions this week, so our team was running around everywhere between tabling, talking to parents, giving tours, and answering the phone that kept ringing off the hook. And next week’s schedule looks the same.

So this weekend is all about relaxing! I’m gonna DoorDash some dinner tonight (and maybe breakfast tomorrow, too) and read to my heart’s content. Well, read until I fall asleep. I am not sure there are enough hours ever to fully reach my heart’s content when it comes to reading.

Links for this week:

  • I finally broke down and started a GoFundMe for my medical expenses after learning how much I would have to pay out of pocket for my upcoming radiation treatments. But this is the last major phase of treatment – it’s all just ongoing prevention and checkups after that!
  • I’m very excited for my friend Andi who recently signed a contract with a publisher for all her books! I also really like her YouTube channel.
  • Lessons in Chemistry is one of my favorite books I’ve read in the last few years. Easily top five. This interview with author Bonnie Garmus makes me love it even more. Success really is the best revenge.
  • Welp, I did it. I subscribed to Archer and Olive, and I just got the notification that my June box was delivered. So I have that to look forward to later this evening!
  • Finally, I love the Quiet Life community Susan Cain has created, and one of the neatest things they do is the community art project.

I hope you have a great weekend!

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June 2024 TBR

Posted in Beauty, Books, Food, Health, Home, Mental Health, Quiet, Reading Challenges, Resolutions on June 6, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Happy June! I am nearing the end of my post-surgery convalescence. I have had a few doctor’s appointments and dealt with a nasty bout of nausea last week, but otherwise, I’ve pretty much been spending the past two weeks eating, sleeping, and reading. In other words, living my best life. I won’t go so far as to say it’s been a vacation – healing from surgery isn’t my idea of a good time – but it’s definitely been restful and quiet.

I’ve become a fan of DoorDash. I just ordered an omelet this morning, and it was on my doorstep by the time I put in a load of laundry and made coffee. I could get used to this. 

Another wonderful thing is that I’ve regained some of the focus I lost during chemo. I’ve already finished several books this month, and I have ambitions to finish many more. My reading lately has been cozy and homey with a nod to Pride Month sprinkled in, and most of my selections for this month seem to continue this trend. 

Book Clubs (which I may actually be able to attend again soon!)

Reading Challenges

I’m definitely making up for my lost year with the number of reading challenges I’m attempting. It’s been a fun way to choose what to read next. This month, I’m mostly focusing my efforts on the summer reading challenges. My yearly favorite is Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Guide. As a Patreon supporter, I have access to the whole guide in all its glory, but I’m working through the books that are out so far from the Minimalist list first:

  • Spitting Gold by Carmella Lowkis
  • skin & bones by Renée Watson
  • The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley
  • There’s Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Adurraqib
  • Lies and Weddings by Kevin Kwan (already read and…maybe my last Kevin Kwan. Or maybe I try reading only print copies, because I really did not enjoy the audio of this one or Crazy Rich Asians. Or does he write any books about people whose biggest problems aren’t gaining or maintaining ungodly wealth and prestige? Because he’s a good writer – I might enjoy a story of his if he wrote about characters I could actually sympathize with or if I could care at all whether they get what they want in the end.)

In addition to its year-long challenge, the 52 Book Club also has a summer mini-challenge. For extra kicks, I’m going to try finishing off these prompts in the order they’re listed. June’s selections include:

  1. Set in Paris – The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery 
  2. Flame on the cover – How Can I Help You? by Laura Sims
  3. Go for gold – Spitting Gold by Carmella Lowkis (I get a little thrill when books satisfy more than one challenge)
  4. 100 M Spring (a short story collection) – Bobcat by Rebecca Lee
  5. Longjump (audiobook is 15+ hours) – The Making of Another Major Motion Picture Masterpiece by Tom Hanks
  6. Steeplechase (character is a spiritual leader) – The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
  7. Boxing (a strong opening hook) – The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern
  8. Wrestling (a heavy read) – The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde
  9. Fencing (dialogue with witty banter) – Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Fairies by Heather Fawcett

A lot of these also fit prompts from some of my year-long challenges, so bonus!

Miscellaneous Reads

As with every month, there are books that I’m reading either because I’ve borrowed them from a friend, they’re due at the library soon, or I just couldn’t resist picking them up. 

I realize this is quite an ambitious list, but at the rate I’ve been reading, it’s not impossible. This is, of course, assuming that my attention span doesn’t crash and burn again, but there’s really no predicting these things. I prefer to keep my plan pretty optimistic anyway.

I hope you are having a great June so far!

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Spring To-Do List

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Denton, Fun, Health, Home, Mental Health, Quiet, Resolutions, Seasons on April 29, 2024| 1 Comment »

The past few years, I’ve made a summer bucket list. Mostly, I’ve done it because I have to talk myself into liking summer as a season because it is so, so hot in Texas and that’s the worst. It also keeps me more grounded in the present instead of always focusing on future plans. And of course, making these lists is also a good way to check in with goals to either make sure I’m on track or get myself back on track. 

So why not do that with every season?

Here are some things I want to do this spring. 

  1. Buy fresh flowers. I have received so many flowers this year, and it’s been lovely. I mean, some of them have made me sneeze and thus had to live elsewhere for a little while. But I really love seeing fresh flowers when I come home. Bonus to picking out/buying them myself? I know I’ll get what I love and still be able to breathe normally. 
  2. Plant citrus trees. My friend Jessica gave me a bunch of citrus seeds, and soon (this weekend, maybe?) I’m going to plant them in buckets to see if they come up. I’ve already got the pots and the soil, so all that’s left to do is plant!
  3. Drink tea and read when it rains. It rains so much this time of year, and I don’t take advantage of that nearly as often as I could. A cup of tea and a good book are excellent accompaniments to a chorus of rain. It’s my ideal quiet morning/afternoon/any time.
  4. Play springy playlist when cooking. Cooking is relaxing to me, but lately it’s been mostly a utilitarian, get-in-get-out, cutting-corners process. I want to reintroduce my former habit of playing music to set the mood and make cooking more fun. I have all sorts of playlists for this already (brunch, spring, etc.); it’s just a matter of remembering to put one on when I start.
  5. Get my feet ready for sandal season. I often neglect my feet during winter. I’ve been doing better this year out of necessity (the neuropathy side effects of chemo are no joke), but I still want to give them a little extra TLC before I expose them to the elements with summer footwear.
  6. Re-establish my strength routine and take some long walks. My back seized up for the first time ever last week. Clearly a sign that I’ve been slacking on my core strength. Or that I’m just getting older. But a solid strength routine and regular walks can only help with both physical and mental health, so I want to make both a priority again.
  7. Visit the Denton Community Market. This is the best place to get local, seasonal produce. Also, it’s just one of my favorite things Denton does. Bonus to going in spring rather than summer – the weather outside may actually be bearable.

Do you have any special plans for this spring?

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The Year That Was Meant To Be Quiet

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Health, Mental Health, Quiet, Reading Challenges, Resolutions on April 15, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Life seems to be plodding along lately. I am not doing a lot of things I’d usually do because I don’t have the energy (and also there are so, so many germs out there that my body just can’t handle being around right now). My treatment has hit a small hiccup (delayed due to concerning lab results – nothing too drastic or out of the ordinary, I’m assured), and that’s frustrating.

But I’m getting through it without too many terrors, so I guess that’s something.

This weekend, I participated in Dewey’s 24-hour Readathon. And by participated, I do mean read sporadically and fell asleep a lot. I finished one of the books I started, though, and I’ll probably finish another tonight. I don’t see me finishing the book for book club by tomorrow. It’s a long one, and while I started it last month, I haven’t been reading consistently so time got away from me a bit.

The whole weekend was so relaxing. I even got some journaling in, and I remembered my word for the year.

Quiet.

In many ways, it has been quieter simply because I’m doing less and staying home more. I’m even doing less when I’m at home. I still clean and work on projects but in much shorter spurts. I haven’t had the attention span to read as much as usual. I’ve decided that while I’m still going to try to complete some of my reading challenges, writing reviews for each book I do read is probably not a reasonable expectation this year. So it’s been quieter here, too.

But when I do leave home, everything is so intense.

I’m not just going to work; I’m rushing through getting things done because I’m out so much with appointments and don’t want to miss anything important. Also, my office is moving (again) into a louder part of the office (again). One day, I’ll actually get to settle into this position and feel like I have my head on straight. I hope.

I’m not just getting regular check-ups but intense treatments that make me feel puny, and that affects every other aspect of my life.

I’m attending very few social events, but I feel way more social than usual because I’m trying to keep people informed and constantly answering questions of “How are you doing?” and “How can I help?” which are very sweet questions to ask. I do miss, however, having conversations about literally anything else. I’m so tired of talking about myself (which I realize may not be believable given that I’m currently doing so on the internet but…you get it).

What I want to explore this week is carving out quiet spaces in the chaos. I want to turn my new office into a calm area where I can be productive without getting overstimulated. I want to give myself buffers around my appointments so that I am not just darting to them and rushing back but having a chance to process (or just breathe) a little before I jump right into the next thing. I want to be bolder about changing the subject when I can’t possibly fathom talking about my body or my needs for one minute longer. Simply ending these conversations when I need to is also a good alternative.

I enjoy solitude and quiet time, so while this is a challenge, it’s a welcome one. In fact, I think it’s just what I need to get myself back to some semblance of what I meant this year to be.

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Friday Five – Rest for the Puny

Posted in Books, Friday Five, Fun, Health, Home, Poetry, Quiet, Work on March 8, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Feeling a little puny this week, but otherwise, it’s been a pretty good one. I have a slow weekend ahead, and I’m looking forward to that. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow morning!

Next week is the students’ spring break, but I’m also taking off a couple of days and then a few days the week after that to make a long birthday weekend. Shaping up to be a good rest for the next couple of weeks!

  • “In another life, I’m a booktuber.” Susannah Conway is one of my favorite people on the internet, and I love this short piece. I like my life and my choices in general. But I’ve been a bit blue this week and musing on the lives I could have had is a little bit of a breather. 
  • In niche news, I’ve been into villanelles lately (e.g.,  “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”). I find their rhythm both inspiring and soothing. Might try doing something with that. Stay tuned.
  • A little inspiration for getting my garden started this weekend. That’s the one big task I have planned for home for this weekend. I have my soil and seeds and here’s hoping another big freeze doesn’t come through before Texas spring really springs.
  • I love this piece on embodiment and approaching living as an art form, taking into account possibilities as well as limits – The Art of Living (The Convivial Society)
  • Happy International Women’s Day! Here’s a little light reading to celebrate. In addition to being Women’s History Month, March is also National Reading Month. Also, the longlist for the Women’s Prize for Fiction has been announced. So…take time off work for a reading staycation? I feel like that’s what all of these things are telling me to do.

I hope you are having a good day and that your weekend is everything you want it to be!

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Friday Five – Sort of Normal

Posted in Beauty, Church, Denton, Food, Friday Five, Home, Quiet, Work on March 2, 2024| 1 Comment »

This week has been a mix of ups and downs, but it has felt like the most normal week I’ve had so far this year. I got to see some friends and had enough energy to put in almost a full week of work. I’m about to hunker down with a book and a cup of tea for the evening, but I thought I’d share a few things with you first.

  • One of the main things on my mind this week is the wildfires in the Texas Panhandle. My parents live a few hours south of where most of the blazes happened. So much loss, and here is how you can help.
  • The title “Warm House on a Quiet Day” stuck out as a cozy invitation in my inbox, but when I clicked to read it, it was so much more. Laura Grace Weldon’s words read like my constant internal monologue. 
  • I’ve been trying to find a small, portable snack and ran across this little gem – savory oatmeal cookies. I made the rosemary/parmesan ones. This weekend, I may experiment with subbing thyme, adding dried cherries, and leaving out all the dairy for the next batch. I feel like the possibilities are endless, and I am committed to exploring them with reckless abandon.
  • This piece by Lisa Bartelt is beautiful. My church is coming through for me in lovely, astounding ways these days, and it’s been a good reminder of why I picked them and why I choose to keep coming back. But even during more normal seasons, the rituals and the community I have there work wonders in my soul. 
  • And finally, I got to go to a vigil for Nex Benedict last night, and it was lovely. Following up a bit from last week, here is a list of resources from OUTreach Denton that can help you learn about how to get more involved in advocating for LGBTQ+ folk, particularly youth. Most of these are based in the DFW area, but I encourage you to look for resources around where you live if you’re not local to me.

I hope you’ve had a good week, and I hope you have an even better weekend!

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