Today, I enjoyed this lovely pastry from The Market by Clark Bakery, our very own on-campus bakery. It was flaky and messy and awesome.
Just like life is sometimes.
This year, there have been good days and bad days, but very few days have been all one or the other. Days I remember fondly were still usually hard. Most days this year have been meh overall.
But even days that were super traumatic had a little spark of hope in them. Sometimes, that’s all that saw me through.
The comfort of a friend.
Actually being able to taste a cup of coffee (which was a rare treat during chemo).
A cool breeze.
Sharing cat pictures.
Coming home to a care package in the mail.
A flaky, messy pastry.
Likewise, every book I’ve read this year has played some role in helping me push through to the other side of whatever was going on while I was reading it. No matter how hard something was, the stories were always there. When I didn’t have the energy to do anything else, I could still read. When I got tired of repeating updates about my health, books gave me something else to talk about.
I’ve enjoyed sharing a small portion of that with you this month, and there are many more quotes I had lined up that I hope to write about in the future. I encourage you to keep a quote journal, whether it’s to jot down things that inspire you in the books you read, in articles from your favorite cultural icons, or even in memes that catch your eye as you’re scrolling through your social media feeds.
“My bucket list of little things aims to live every moment as if it’s my first. To find the glory in what a seasoned eye might falsely consider mundane.” Andrea Gibson, Things That Don’t Suck (Substack)
It has been a long week. Nothing particularly bad has happened. I’ve just felt puny and tired. The weather, however, is gorgeous. It was 52 when I left home. I am wearing a light sweater!
Today, I need a list of things to look forward to this season that aren’t super ambitious but still give me ways to ground myself and remind myself that I’m alive and meant to be living and not just muddling through.
Buy a delicious cup of coffee and drink it while browsing a bookstore. Take all the time I want.
Take shorter, more frequent walks. Not everything has to be hard all at once. A little bit multiple times a day is better than pushing myself and getting too exhausted to do anything else for hours.
Keep my hands warm and nimble with piano and knitting.
Make soup without rushing. Pan roast the veggies slowly. Add one ingredient at a time. Fill my home with cozy smells.
Take drives. Drive down winding country roads just outside of town and find the few trees in Texas that know what time of year it is. Drive down my favorite streets and let the memories of every time I’ve been there before flow over me.
It’s National Book Lover’s Day, so I encourage you to celebrate accordingly. It’s also the first day of Mean Green Move-In at UNT, so I am looking forward to going home to celebrate as well. Tomorrow is another busy day so the celebration may be cut short with an earlier bedtime.
Five things that grabbed my attention this week:
I think I’d be a great book butler. Maybe that will be my next career.
Joy the Baker is featured in Houstonia magazine. I love her and I love that she’s in Texas now. As a lifelong resident, I welcome her as one of our own.
It is easy to find arguments online for food being either strictly for fuel or for health or for pleasure. Why not all three? I love this long read that reminds me of the importance of fueling my body by eating the things it’s craving and thus probably needs to replenish missing nutrients and to do the things I’m asking it to do.
I really appreciate everyone who has helped me feel like a human this year. I am also loving the Olympics but there are too many things I want to say about them to fit in this post. Just…Simone Biles, Jordan Chiles, Stephen Nedoroscik, Ilona Maher…love them.
And finally, in political news, I’m still extra liberal and not impressed with this middle-of-the-road, “at least we’re not the other guy” nonsense. The thing that stuck out to me most this week was Harris’s response to the protesters at her rally. “If you want Donald Trump to win, then say that. Otherwise, I’m speaking.” Since she knows these particular protesters would not be likely to vote for Trump either, this comment seems designed to shush and shame, which is an interesting approach to asking for someone’s vote. I’m not sure it’s the best campaign strategy to win over those of us for whom continuing the current administration’s stance on Israel/Gaza is a dealbreaker. We gave Biden/Harris a chance for these past four years and they have proven that once they’re in office they don’t care what we think. So many of us need to see change before we vote for her again. If she doesn’t want Donald Trump to win, maybe it would be better to listen to liberals whose votes she doesn’t already have than to settle for a quippy sound bite.
Edited to add: More of this. Also, just…more. But this was a better response than before.
I know it’s not Friday, but it’s July so all weekdays – Fridays especially – are out of control. So here we are on a calm, rainy Sunday, coffee in hand, eating maple whipped cream out of a bowl with graham crackers, leisurely letting you in on what I meant to post Friday.
A busy schedule means I need to be more intentional about downtime than I usually am, and nothing relaxes me and puts my whole life in perspective more than reading. So this week, I have been drawn to ways to boost my reading and give myself a little extra challenge. Maybe your reading needs a boost, too? If so, see below!
“Gratitude is not a solution to the problem of pain.” I love that quote from this short clip of Kate Bowler. Gratitude is a useful tool for perspective, but it is not The Answer. Also, enforced gratitude is the worst. Even if telling other people how to feel could make them magically feel that way, it’s still controlling and manipulative and I hate it so much. A while ago, a friend recommended Bowler’s book Have a Beautiful, Terrible Day! (specifically for coping with cancer treatments). And now I’ve bought it. It’s been refreshing and comforting.
I love musings about friendship, and this one on the medium friend is particularly good. I especially like this part – “Medium friends can thus be seen not as inferior to best friends but as delightful and beneficial on their own terms: a well-matched tennis partnership; a bond over breast cancer; a mentoring dynamic; a rediscovered childhood chum; a gamer buddy abroad. Relieved of the pressure to be ‘good,’ the friendship can flourish and serve each person as it is.”
The National Book Foundation has a summer reading adventure. You click on the things that you do, fill out the short form below it, and submit by August 31, 2024. Since most of these activities fall under what I’m already doing, I’m in! Are you?
Also, if you love audiobooks, Libro.fm is hosting an audiobook challenge that goes until the end of this month. I am always up for winning more books and perhaps a mug, so I’m pretty stoked about it.
I always wanted a solid layer of pineapple on my pineapple upside-down cake, and this one delivers. My favorite line in this whole piece is “Like revenge, it’s a cake best served cold.” For the record, I would buy her cookbook so fast.
This week has been hectic both at work and in my personal life, but there have been so many things that have delighted and pleased me. Here are a few:
I am fascinated that such a thing as a happiness expert exists (I’m a fan, to be clear), and I enjoyed this article on their daily habits.
Roxane Gay is saying goodbye to her column Work Friend, and she wrote a beautiful send-off to it.
Dorie Greenspan of World Peace Cookies fame (and baking in general – the cookies are just how I was introduced to her) wrote a lovely piece on getting out of a personal rut/funk entitled “A book that’s bigger than you are.”
I love the Gaia Music Collective (I want to sing with 100+ people!!) but I especially loved this arrangement. I played this song for my piano recital the same month my childhood friend Ginger died, and it always reminds me of her.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend full of all your favorite things and people!
I could eat my weight in cherries. I won’t (probably). But I could.
When I typed the title of this post, my gut reaction was “Nothing. Not a damn thing.” I feel like my plate is already full for this summer. So rather than come up with a lot of extra things to do to feel like I’m getting the most out of this season (the worst season, to be clear…it’s so, so hot…I just want to lie in a bucket of ice), I decided to limit myself to four doable things as a reminder that there’s no need to get ambitious.
Finish radiation treatments – When they start in the next week or two, this is going to be a 5-days-a-week-for-7-weeks ordeal. The silver lining is that it’s paid for, thanks to the generous (and fast!) funding of my GoFundMe!
Eat low-maintenance meals – We’re talking meals that look like small charcuterie boards (fruit, raw veggies, cheese, nuts, crackers, bread, jam, pickled things), sandwiches, and salads. Maybe the occasional breakfast burrito or fried egg on toast. Sometimes pasta or a quick stir fry. But if it takes more than 10 minutes to make it, I don’t want it.
Indulge my sweet tooth – I’ve been so careful with sugar this year to give myself the best chance of feeling good and not crashing. But sometimes, I just want something sweet, so I’m going to give in a little bit now that feeling-good days are happening more consistently. I’ve already ordered the key lime bundt from Nothing Bundt Cakes to pick up this afternoon.
Read and attend book clubs – I missed all my book clubs in May due to health issues, and it definitely put a damper on the month. I also haven’t read as much this year as I intended, due to a lack of focus, which is understandable, I guess. My goal for summer is to keep feeling good enough that I can get back to my usual bookish self (or a close approximation).
This reminder to slow my roll was technically for me, but maybe you need it, too? If so, consider this a gentle, caring nudge from me to you to confirm that you are already doing enough so maybe just sit in front of the fan and relax for a minute.
Happy June! I am nearing the end of my post-surgery convalescence. I have had a few doctor’s appointments and dealt with a nasty bout of nausea last week, but otherwise, I’ve pretty much been spending the past two weeks eating, sleeping, and reading. In other words, living my best life. I won’t go so far as to say it’s been a vacation – healing from surgery isn’t my idea of a good time – but it’s definitely been restful and quiet.
I’ve become a fan of DoorDash. I just ordered an omelet this morning, and it was on my doorstep by the time I put in a load of laundry and made coffee. I could get used to this.
Another wonderful thing is that I’ve regained some of the focus I lost during chemo. I’ve already finished several books this month, and I have ambitions to finish many more. My reading lately has been cozy and homey with a nod to Pride Month sprinkled in, and most of my selections for this month seem to continue this trend.
Book Clubs (which I may actually be able to attend again soon!)
I’m definitely making up for my lost year with the number of reading challenges I’m attempting. It’s been a fun way to choose what to read next. This month, I’m mostly focusing my efforts on the summer reading challenges. My yearly favorite is Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Guide. As a Patreon supporter, I have access to the whole guide in all its glory, but I’m working through the books that are out so far from the Minimalist list first:
Lies and Weddings by Kevin Kwan (already read and…maybe my last Kevin Kwan. Or maybe I try reading only print copies, because I really did not enjoy the audio of this one or Crazy Rich Asians. Or does he write any books about people whose biggest problems aren’t gaining or maintaining ungodly wealth and prestige? Because he’s a good writer – I might enjoy a story of his if he wrote about characters I could actually sympathize with or if I could care at all whether they get what they want in the end.)
In addition to its year-long challenge, the 52 Book Club also has a summer mini-challenge. For extra kicks, I’m going to try finishing off these prompts in the order they’re listed. June’s selections include:
A lot of these also fit prompts from some of my year-long challenges, so bonus!
Miscellaneous Reads
As with every month, there are books that I’m reading either because I’ve borrowed them from a friend, they’re due at the library soon, or I just couldn’t resist picking them up.
I realize this is quite an ambitious list, but at the rate I’ve been reading, it’s not impossible. This is, of course, assuming that my attention span doesn’t crash and burn again, but there’s really no predicting these things. I prefer to keep my plan pretty optimistic anyway.
My good friends Maggie and Michelle are coming into town today and spending my birthday weekend with me, and I’m so excited!! We are going to eat cupcakes, binge-watch comfort TV, and just bask in each other’s presence all weekend.
Up until very recently (i.e., a couple of days ago), I have been operating under the assumption that I will have the energy to do everything I really want to do. I mean, I knew in my head that this was not probable. But I cling to the idea that I’m extraordinary. Well, I am. Extraordinarily sensitive to treatment in that I have had almost every one of the milder side effects of chemo so far. Apparently, that means it’s working, so I’ll take it. But still.
Could it also mean that maybe I don’t stretch myself to the very end of my energy every single day? I think so. I think that would be a good thing to stop doing. Every week, I find more and more that I usually love to do that I just don’t have the energy for, and that’s going to have to be ok for now. The things I love will still be there when I’m well.
In the meantime, here are some things I love that take relatively little bandwidth.
Oh, gosh. Ruth Reichl, Laurie Ochoa, and Nancy Silverton have a podcast together. It’s called Three Ingredients and I am obsessed (with a PODCAST?! I know, right?!).
Five ways to trick yourself into decluttering. The timer works really well for me. I can do anything for five minutes, and I can get a surprising amount of things done in that time.
Dorie Greenspan has a new book coming out, and it’s about simple cakes. I feel like I need to pre-order it, because simple cakes are my favorites. Give me anything I can throw in a bundt pan and maybe not even ice, and I’m happy.
My writing is hitting a slump, so I’m going to refresh a little next week with the Healing Through Writing Festival. It’s all online, and most of the sessions are free. You can upgrade for a pretty reasonable price to get All Access, but per my energy level, I may just need to stick to the other sessions. But if you are a creative and need a boost, too, you may want to check it out. The presenters I recognize are top-notch, so I’m excited to learn what everyone else has to say.
Finally, a very helpful product that my friend Steph introduced me to. My skin has been so sensitive – to heat, allergens, etc. More than usual, I mean. It is a mess. Enter Active Skin Repair Hydrogel. I can put it on cuts, burns, allergy rashes…anything. And it soothes and heals. It has been a godsend and if this product were a person I would marry it. Highly recommend if you are similarly afflicted.
This week has been a mix of ups and downs, but it has felt like the most normal week I’ve had so far this year. I got to see some friends and had enough energy to put in almost a full week of work. I’m about to hunker down with a book and a cup of tea for the evening, but I thought I’d share a few things with you first.
One of the main things on my mind this week is the wildfires in the Texas Panhandle. My parents live a few hours south of where most of the blazes happened. So much loss, and here is how you can help.
The title “Warm House on a Quiet Day” stuck out as a cozy invitation in my inbox, but when I clicked to read it, it was so much more. Laura Grace Weldon’s words read like my constant internal monologue.
I’ve been trying to find a small, portable snack and ran across this little gem – savory oatmeal cookies. I made the rosemary/parmesan ones. This weekend, I may experiment with subbing thyme, adding dried cherries, and leaving out all the dairy for the next batch. I feel like the possibilities are endless, and I am committed to exploring them with reckless abandon.
This piece by Lisa Bartelt is beautiful. My church is coming through for me in lovely, astounding ways these days, and it’s been a good reminder of why I picked them and why I choose to keep coming back. But even during more normal seasons, the rituals and the community I have there work wonders in my soul.
And finally, I got to go to a vigil for Nex Benedict last night, and it was lovely. Following up a bit from last week, here is a list of resources from OUTreach Denton that can help you learn about how to get more involved in advocating for LGBTQ+ folk, particularly youth. Most of these are based in the DFW area, but I encourage you to look for resources around where you live if you’re not local to me.
I hope you’ve had a good week, and I hope you have an even better weekend!
Happy Friday! I’ve mostly been reading about chemotherapy this week, so not a lot from the web to share. But I still have some exciting things and updates.
This Friday is a special one. One of my very best friends turns 40 today! Happy birthday, Michelle! I require you to live at least another 40. More, if possible. But just go ahead and plan on at least another 40. You make the world better and brighter and more badass and I love you so much.
I had my first treatment yesterday and other than being a little tired (probably more from the steroid keeping me awake most of the night than the actual chemo), I am mostly good. My skin is BIG mad so I’m being extra nice to it today.
I’m super excited about seeing The Taste of Things. I’m not really doing large public things like going to movie theaters these days, so I will wait until it streams to see it. But ever since Chocolat, Juliette Binoche is my foodie movie fave, and the trailer looks amazing.
Our team at work is reading The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fableby Patrick Lencioni, to discuss in a few weeks, so I’m probably going to start reading that today. In related news, I may need to stock up on popcorn and tea for the entertaining show that this discussion is likely to be.
Finally, I’m going to do book reviews a little differently this year. I’m going to be participating in Modern Mrs. Darcy’s monthly Quick Lit, so I’ll have a separate post somewhere around the ides of each month to catch up. I think it will be easier to do it all in one post a month, and I’m all about making every single thing I can easier these days. But the MMD community always has great suggestions, so if you’re looking for something to read over the weekend, you can get recommendations galore at that link!
M. Suzanne Terry 