One holiday week (almost) down, four to go. I can do this.
I love this perspective in these trying times. Times have been trying before, and they will be trying again. Community is how we make it through. And you know I love a book list. This piece has it all.
These are so freaking cute. If I get myself together, they may make an appearance at a holiday party. Or I may take fudge. Fudge is good (and also easy). Or this (but why is it called Jezebel sauce? Good and misunderstood? Bad, but also an understandable and totally acceptable course of action, given the full view of the circumstances? Has it been sacrificed to idols? Did someone die a gruesome death from eating it? I’m so curious.).
I’m looking at the reading challenges I want to attempt in the new year, and it’s really gonna be something. Buckle up – my reading life is fully reflecting my internal chaos, and there is no stopping it at this point. This is an interesting one that I’m considering – the Anti Brain Rot Reading Challenge. I really love the way this challenge is organized. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the idea of having a personal curriculum for each season where I double down on a particular topic. And there is a Discord community. This would be an especially good challenge for people who either want to establish a daily reading practice or intentionally read outside their personal experience zone, and who would like social support in doing so. You know what? I say I’m “considering” it, but I think we all know I’m in. I’m so in.
I love reading books that friends recommend. When I finish, it’s like an automatic mini-book club. This interview with Kate Mosesso on What Should I Read Next is lovely and charming. Bonus that I particularly like about this podcast – transcript and a book list.
A post no one ever wants to write, but Nadia Bolz-Weber does it beautifully. I’m so glad she’s OK.
This week holds more news than Friday Five. This week has been…whew. So I bring you the Sunday Seven.
First, my car has decided it is tired, so I have been shopping around for a new one, and I found it! Soon, a sweet little Nissan Versa will join the family. That’s a fun/nerve-wracking/expensive process, but as soon as the necessary paperwork is finalized, she’s mine!
Here are five other things I read/watched/have been pondering this week:
Full co-sign on this article on letting your college kid decorate their own dorm. I have such great memories of working with my freshman roommate and suitemates to curate our own space. We had a collage of pictures in the bathroom that we created from magazines. It was epic and a great conversation piece. Remember that this is the first time a lot of new adults get to make all the decisions about what their home looks like. As a seasoned university housing professional, I beg of you – don’t rob your kids of this experience! Talk to them and follow their lead on how much (if any) help they want (PSA – advice not limited to housing. They’re grown. You did a good job raising them to be adults. Trust yourself and them, and let them do it!).
I’m rewatching Scandal these days. It’s one of my comfort shows. If I were still writing fanfiction when Scandal came out, I would have shipped Liv and Mellie so hard. I love Scandal in general, but if I were to list my top ten favorite scenes, their scenes together would make up more than half of them.
I agree with Brigid Misselhorn of MMD. I do enjoy seasonal reading. I usually try to sneak in a few seasonal reads every month. For the record, spooky season (which ranges from cozy fantasy to dark academia to horror) is August through January. I said what I said, and I will not be taking any questions on the matter.
I also have seasonal to-do lists. I like this one from Joy Wilson (aka Joy the Baker). Since I rent, most of the maintenance is done by my property management, so I don’t have to worry about the specific seasonal things homeowners do (one thing off my to-do list – I’ll take it.). These are mostly things I do at the beginning of every season, but there are a few fall-specific things I like to complete each September:
Step 4 of my Epic Meal Planning process – Snowed-in Meals. Clean out pantry/fridge/freezer by making as many weird meals as I can with what I have to make room for groceries for the upcoming season (yay soup!).
Speaking of soup, chop/bag/freeze several rounds of the trinity (onion, carrots, celery) so that they are ready to go. I also would like to take a page out of JTB’s book and do this with cookie dough. Maybe I will be that person someday. That sounds perfect, especially for cozier months.
Clean off tables/surfaces. Piles accumulate so easily in my home, and this is where they land. Right now, I think my efforts have just resulted in different, more organized piles, but over the next few weeks, everything I actually keep will hopefully get to where it belongs.
Change my air filter.
Clean out closets and assess what needs to be donated/repaired/replaced.
Look at this year’s resolutions and assess progress. Tweak as needed. Specifically, start to organize next-ten-years bucket list into categories.
Find three fun fall things to enjoy.
Start thinking about holiday plans, including travel, writing, cooking/baking. Looking forward to how my theme of wonder is going to show up this year!
I am looking forward to more fall(ish) weather that we’re supposed to have pretty soon. I hope you have had a good weekend and have a smooth week ahead!
(Picture blurry because I was shaking with excitement. That’s the excuse I’m going with.)
Before every visit to the farm, we always have at least one conversation about what we will eat. It starts with, “What sounds good?” and my answer – “Anything but liver or pot pie (which is an abomination)” or “Whatever’s on sale.” Steak is often mentioned with a certain amount of glee. I typically throw some sort of dumpling talk and a general disdain for any pork besides bacon into the mix.
When a holiday is approaching, the conversation definitely includes dessert.
Growing up, holiday desserts were a big deal. Our house was the gathering place for Mom’s side of the family, and everyone had their favorites. It was the only course of the meal that had its own table.
Mom would make at least three pies. The two standards were topped with gorgeous meringues – one chocolate and one coconut. The last pie changed every year – lemon meringue, apple, peach, or some other type. Aunt Gale would usually bring cherry and/or pumpkin, and a pecan pie always managed to show up from somewhere. There were also many dozens of cookies and sometimes fresh apple cake (with pecans, but I liked it better without them. Still do.).
It’s been a few years since Mom made pies. I miss them, but with her memory issues, she has a hard time focusing on the recipe long enough to make it and that’s frustrating for her. When only the five of us are there these days, I imagine it’s also disheartening to go to all that trouble for several things that won’t get fully eaten.
Could I make a pie for our holiday meals? Yes, I could. But which one? We all have different favorites, and we’d never be able to choose. Also…I have a confession.
I don’t like meringue.
I know it’s beautiful and many people actually enjoy the taste. There’s nothing wrong with it…per se…and if I am served a piece of pie with meringue at someone’s house, I will gratefully eat it and go back for seconds. Because pie.
But it’s so…squishy? Spongey? One of my dastardly uncles called it calf slobber one time, and that was a little too close to what the texture seemed like to me for my comfort. *shudders*
Still, it doesn’t quite feel like a holiday without them, front and center, on a table full of other pies, cakes (oh gosh – Aunt Gale’s hummingbird cake), candy, quick breads with a ridiculous amount of pecans in them, fruit, etc. The table full of desserts meant ’tis the season and company’s coming.
Food tells the story of place. As I’ve been reflecting on the concept of home this year, I have been delighted to discover how many memories and experiences that mean home to me come with a menu. I (and a lot of the important people in my life) echo Julia Child’s sentiment – “People who love to eat are always the best people.” The scents, the tastes, the ambiance created around a table full of friends and/or family – I’m not sure I could really explore what it means to be at home without talking about these things.
While the bulk of the actual writing for this series will all happen this month, I’ve been outlining these posts since June. I’ve had a lot of fun revisiting old recipes and seeing if they taste the same as I remember. I’ve also found a lot of joy in reading cookbooks, food memoirs, and foodie fiction to find new things to try (my favorites of which I will showcase during Friday Fives).
Full disclosure – this may read like a food blog this month. I am pretty stoked about that myself, as I looove food blogs. When a person generously shares the food they love with the internet, I don’t just want the recipe. I do want to hear the story behind their favorite soup and the beloved person it reminds them of. Or, at the very least, I want to hear what makes their particular spin on lasagne noteworthy. I want to know the special place this dish holds in their life. If you want that, too, then you’re going to love this series.
I also invite you to share any stories in the comments that come to mind when you read the posts. I want to hear which foods have impacted your life. And if you have some recipe (restaurant, cookbook, etc.) that you think I really must try, I am all ears!
[Aside: if you’re one of those food blog haters who just want the recipes without having to endure the arduous struggle of scrolling to the end to get to them, this may not be your favorite month on my blog. See you in November.]
If you’ve been here a while, you know how my 31-days projects work. I’ll post something new every day and index the links here. Enjoy!
A fitting start to my resolution recap is a quote from Luvvie Ajayi Jones’s newsletter.
“The goals we set aren’t sacred oaths.”
My 2022 resolutions were perfectly reasonable at the time that I set them. Things happen, though, and sometimes those things cause a big enough disruption (good or bad – still a disruption) that previous intentions either no longer represent what we want or simply aren’t feasible. So we adjust, and we extend compassion to ourselves (the very hardest of all compassions for me to muster).
For better or worse, here’s the year in review.
Read 150 books – I read a lot this year, but not exactly what I planned to read. I finished the majority of the books chosen for in-person book clubs, but I didn’t read a lot of the online club selections. I made a pretty big dent in Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge, the POPSUGAR Reading Challenge, Girlxoxo’s Monthly Key Word Reading Challenge, and the 52 Book Club’s Reading Challenge, but I didn’t finish any of them. However, I discovered some new series and authors that I love, and still met my goal of 150 books. According to Goodreads, in those 150 books, I read 44,892 pages, which put my average book length at 299 pages. Most of all, I had fun, so I am calling it a success!
Write 5 short stories – I think I wrote zero short stories this year. I may have finished one for a What Now? submission, but I don’t recall specifics, so probably not. On the plus side, I have definitely written more words of fiction than in other recent years, so at least I’m getting back into the habit.
Finish expanded rough drafts of Feast and Epic Meal Planning – Welp. Hmm. Nope. This did not happen. I did make an impressive (read: intense) to-do list for each project to keep me on track. I’m pretty sure doing that just overwhelmed me, though, especially as life (read: work) itself got more overwhelming.
Earn $7500 with copywriting job – This also did not happen (see above re: overwhelmed at work). I have a couple of new teams that pay more per word, though, so it’s starting to become easier to work back up to the paycheck I need. This leaves me hopeful.
Build a consistent practice of an average of 30 minutes/day of movement – I’m so proud of myself. I’ve been really consistent with this. It’s mostly just been walking with a few dance breaks scattered in, but my doctor assures me that it counts (take that, overachiever brain). The main difference I’ve noticed that it has made is having fewer aches/stiff muscles, especially when I get up in the morning.
So, two out of five. Not what I’d hoped for, but still progress. I learned some things, and I’m (working on) being satisfied with that.
Did you make resolutions this year? What did you learn from them?
Matching pjs and silly socks – girls’ weekend with Maggie and Michelle
As I have already mentioned, I get peopled out pretty easily. My introversion is getting more pronounced/intense as I get older. Or maybe I just had less self-awareness and more energy in general that I mistook for the ability to be more social when I was younger. At any rate, there are very few people I can spend a large amount of time with without eventually getting to the staring-into-space overwhelm that I need many hours to recover from.
This may be why the concept of hygge is so appealing to me. Calling something a cozy gathering automatically implies that it’s a small one. Going to the farm to visit my parents, having a few people over for dinner – anything that allows me to enjoy time with others without high-impact social fallout. Ideally, this would be all my social interactions ever.
During the summer, I was discussing with Maggie how nice it would be to have a large house (with actual guest rooms and a huge kitchen) but also the time and resources to really enjoy it. Maybe even have a few people over for the weekend more than once every year or two. I feel like if I didn’t live in a constant state of over-peopled, I’d be a better host. Or at least a less reluctant one.
This week is busy, but the good kind. I have a couple of bookish gatherings, a practice for our performance coming up in November, and just a couple of meetings. All small groups. Then I am looking at a few days off! Socializing means also planning time for recovery for me, but it’s almost always worth it.
Making to-do lists to match my yearly theme always delights me. This is especially true when my word of the year is something like “lush.” In the spirit of Joy The Baker’s summer bucket lists, I’ve been musing about the next few months.
I’ve decided that my lush summer starts now. As I was reminded by Tsh Oxenreider’s newsletter this morning, the pursuit of beauty is important, especially in hard times, so why wait? Also, let’s face it – the weather in Texas basically thinks it’s summer from April-September anyway. And to my amazement and mild chagrin, April is LATER THIS WEEK.
The first step is to find some things to drop so that I have the freedom in my schedule and the energy to do the fun stuff listed below. I’ve already been practicing. My typical response to busyness has been to tough my way through something, even if a pounding headache or sensory overwhelm or exhaustion from panic attacks or some other not-at-all-subtle signal is telling me not to. I have been really good at paying attention to those signals lately, though, and canceling things when I need to. Sure, I’ve missed some things that I wanted to do. But you know what? The world did not end, and I got the rest I needed. Then, I got to actually enjoy the next thing I wanted to do instead of having to trudge my way through it, too. Ultimately, I hope that listening to my body better looks like not making too many plans in the first place instead of having to cancel them, but baby steps.
Here are some snapshots of how I want my lush summer to look.
Plants
Despite my angst about the heat and the pollen, this is a great time of the year for plants. I never met a fruit I didn’t like, but in-season (and I cannot stress that distinction enough) spring/summer fruits—specifically, blueberries, peaches, apricots, and cantaloupe—are my favorites. I have a small space for some containers on my porch, but most of my produce during this season comes from farmers’ markets.
Buy fresh produce and/or seeds from Denton Community Market (opening day for the season is this Saturday yay!)
Plant tomatoes and basil and all the random seeds I have in my containers
Keep fresh flowers (carefully chosen, because allergies) on the table and around the house
Repot the office plant and perhaps pick up another new green friend or two along the way
Food
Try a new local restaurant. Osteria il Muro is the one I have in mind, but spaces are super limited. Maybe I’ll be able to get a reservation someday.
Make sun tea and lemonade
Buy cold brew from Coffee Hog once(ish) a month (yes, I could make it myself. But will I?)
Snow cones!
Make ice cream (or at least an icebox pie or two, which frankly is more likely than dragging out the ice cream maker. But hope springs eternal.)
Test some of the updated recipes for my Epic Meal Planning and Feast projects
Events/Travel (if the aforementioned improved minding of my schedule allows, of course)
I’d like to take a small road trip if I can make room in the budget for it. San Antonio to see Hope and Nowhere? Beach getaway?
Attend a summer festival (or two). Maybe these? North Texas Lavender Festival (June 26-27) – TX-Ture Farm North Texas Book Festival (Aug 20, 3-7pm) – Greater Denton Arts Council
Visit the family farm once a month
Hang out at a winery with friends
Enjoy afternoons/days on the Denton, McKinney, and/or Gainesville square(s)
Social/Miscellaneous
Pool time with friends
Girls weekend with Maggie and Michelle
Lounge around in bookshops
Continue my cleaning streak by cleaning out closets and actually taking donations where they need to go
Redecorate or organize one small space in the apartment each week
What do you love most about warmer days? Anything you’re looking forward to?
In addition to focusing on LUSH as my word of the year and continuing my work with Sarah on our album, I am also setting a few tangible personal goals. Most of my resolutions this year are measurable, longer-term versions of some of the habits I am already tracking. Having a specific, larger goal in mind is useful for days when I’m like, “Hmm…maybe I just watch another episode…”
So here are some things I’m going to keep doing and the in-about-a-year goal that goes with them.
Read 150 books – Given that I almost read this many books in 2021, I feel like this is a gentle reach. It’s still challenging but perfectly attainable, even when my schedule stays busy. In addition to reading for book clubs, I’m participating in Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge because I particularly like the prompts for 2022. Girlxoxo’s Monthly Key Word Reading Challenge looks interesting, too (and some of the books I’m reading in January already fit).
Write 5 short stories – My first instinct was “write a short story every month!” but since I finished a whole two stories in 2021, that high of an expectation might sabotage me before I even get started. Specifically, I want to practice writing dialogue. Fishbowl rewrites have been dry lately, and I think this will help me practice my skills for that long-term project as well.
Finish expanded rough drafts of Feast and Epic Meal Planning – My 31 Days series in October 2021 about books was challenging but also exciting. I forgot how much I enjoy writing essays. Over the past few years, I have started drafting two different essay collections (some of you may remember the epic meal planning series), and I want to finish the expanded drafts this year. I’ve already kinda planned the menu for the celebratory gatherings when each one is complete. Because priorities.
Earn $7500 with copywriting job – Last year, I set a word count goal for this job to write more articles. But what’s better than more work? More money. I’ve stayed within the $6500-$7000 range the last few years, but I want to give it a little boost in 2022. Depending on what is available on my teams, this can either mean adding an article or two to each pay period or focusing on articles that pay more per word. My preference heavily leans to the latter, so this will be my focus whenever such things are in my control. Is this what they mean by working smarter, not harder?
Build a consistent practice of an average of 30 minutes/day of movement – I have added activity to my life this past year, but the draw to sit for long spells is strong. As I continue to get older, I want to make sure I don’t lapse into a sedentary state and lose more agility/balance/etc, than necessary. So I want to be more intentional about making sure I keep and expand good habits. Also, some performances this year may include a little dancey action, so I want to be ready for that.
This is a solid list to start with. I’m sure I’ll amend them as needed, but I feel pretty good about these goals.
I’ve mentioned before that I have been trying to limit my food waste for the last year, and I have had some pretty good successes. I used to throw out a lot of condiments. I would open a jar of salsa, for example, to eat with some chips, and the rest of it would sit in the fridge unused until it started to grow things. One might argue that another option is just to make salsa from scratch because 1) it’s so much better and 2) then I would only make as much as I need, but to make this argument one would first have to drastically overestimate my commitment to eating salsa. I’ve tried to pay more attention this year, only opening condiments when I have a plan for the whole container. It’s not perfect yet, but progress has been made.
I also used to throw out a lot of prepared food. I cook in big batches to save time and energy, but I always got tired of eating what I made on Saturday before it was all gone. I like leftovers, just not five times in the same week. This past year, I’ve been freezing leftovers so that they last longer, and it has completely eliminated my prepared food waste. I have included my favorite basic big-batch concept (the skillet meal) and variations of the recipe below. These have become my go-to staples, and at any given moment, I probably have a few servings of at least two of them in the freezer.
I find the peeling, chopping, etc., of fresh vegetables cathartic, and I’m so happy about the local produce available. But if you are short on desire, time, storage space, or access to fresh options, frozen veggies work beautifully in all of these recipes, too. I cook all of these things in my trusty, gigantic covered skillet. If my apartment were on fire, I’d save my grandmother’s quilt, the picture frame bookends with beloved photos from my childhood, and that skillet (not really – insurance would easily cover its replacement. But I do really, really love it).
Another thing to know about my cooking style – I rarely measure. This is why I need supervision when I bake, and I accept that about me. I may begrudgingly stick to a recipe the first time I try it, but then I do what I want until it “looks right” every time after that. I’ve included links to similar recipes for those of you who want a little more structure.
I also don’t like a lot of salt, so most people will want to add some to the seasoning step to taste.
Basic Skillet –
Sauté aromatics (onions, peppers, celery, garlic, etc.) until translucent-ish
Add a large can of tomato sauce or crushed tomatoes or a mess of chopped fresh tomatoes from the market
Add water (about three cups? Whatever roughly a large tomato can and a half is) and bring to a boil
Add seasonings
Add starch (enough to soak up the liquid, which will vary from recipe to recipe. Just make sure it is all thoroughly covered with room for stirring and you should be fine) and cover, stirring occasionally, until it’s done
Add final touches and serve
Cheeseburger skillet – similar to Budget Bytes Skillet Cheeseburger Pasta – it’s essentially Hamburger Helper from scratch so it’s got the childhood nostalgia going for it. Onions and peppers (1), ground beef, veggie crumbles, or black beans (2), onion soup packet and fresh ground black pepper (5), your favorite small pasta (6), top with dill pickle relish (although I just stir a few spoonfuls into the big batch itself) and cheddar cheese to serve (7).
Chickpea stew (pictured above) – I can’t remember where I got this idea. I may have just had a lot of the ingredients in the kitchen and thought, “I wonder how that would taste together.” Onions, peppers (I used a poblano in this one and I highly recommend that), celery, and garlic (1), chickpeas (2), garam masala (5), top with raisins or currants (optional but delicious) to serve.
Cajun skillet – another Budget Bytes inspiration – really delicious no matter which protein option you choose. Onions, garlic, and bell peppers (1), chicken, sausage, or kidney beans…or all three (2), oregano, thyme, cayenne, paprika, red pepper flakes, black pepper (5), a cup and a half (ish) of rice (6).
Mozzarella skillet – essentially, cavatini (but mine is better) – this is one of my favorite meals from childhood. Mom made it with ground beef and pepperoni, but I usually make it vegetarian. It’s delicious both ways. Onions and garlic (1), ground beef, pepperoni, pancetta, and/or diced salami – alternatively (or additionally -just throw everything in), zucchini, eggplant, and/or spinach or whatever green you have handy (2), onion soup packet, oregano, thyme, basil, a little cayenne, black pepper (5), your favorite pasta (6). Then – take all the mozzarella you have (shred it first, of course – for scale, Mom made this in the small stock pot and put 32 oz. of cheese in there – do not skimp) – and stir it into the skillet until it’s melted and, frankly, glorious. Add shaved Parmesan on top to serve.
I typically eat these dishes as meals by themselves, but I suppose you could serve a salad and bread alongside them. If you simply must act civilized about it. But there’s something so comforting to me about tucking into one delicious bowl of goodness.
It seems like cheating to list happiness as a core value, so I’m not going to do that. While I’m sure that there are some people who don’t value happiness, I think most people probably list “happy” as something they’d like to be or as something they enjoy being. It also seems to be what a large corner of the self-help market tries to help us achieve. I don’t know how good most of us are at getting there without work.
I just finished Gabrielle Union’s audio version of We’re Going to Need More Wine, and a line stood out to me. “When you’re in a place where you don’t know what makes you happy, it’s really easy to be an asshole.” That makes a lot of sense to me. The times it’s easiest to be mean are the times when I’m in a fog or a funk and can’t find a way to get myself out of it. So for those times, I’m just going to leave this list of things that make me happy.
Having dinner with people I love. Whether I’m having friends over or being invited over as a guest or eating with family, I love sharing meals with people. I like cooking for people and seeing them enjoy it. I also like not having to cook. Feeding people and being fed may be one of my love languages.
Reading. That is, most reading. Occasionally, I will trudge my way through a book that tries to eat my soul, but most of the reading I do is relaxing. Even if it’s challenging or outside my typical comfort zone, those challenges energize me.
Fresh, ripe peaches. They save the day during my least favorite season. All the oppressive heat of summer is worth it when I see peaches at the farmers’ market.
Doing laundry. I know it’s weird. But I find it so soothing. I think it’s the sound of the dryer. Sometimes I wait to pop the last load in the dryer until I go to bed, just so I can go to sleep to the sound. I also enjoy that the ratio of effect to effort is larger with laundry than with other chores.
Seeing something beautiful when I walk into my apartment. Whether it is a vase of flowers on the table, the Christmas tree lit up, or just an uncharacteristically neat living room, it immediately puts me at peace.
A wide, open sky. Wine and sunset, coffee and sunrise, country drive or road trip, rain or shine. The sky is my favorite part of nature.
My dad telling stories about his dogs. It’s Dad at his most animated. I think it makes him happy, too.
M. Suzanne Terry 