I took Monday and Tuesday off so I could drive to Tulsa to attend Travis Baldree’s book signing for Brigands & Breadknives. He talked about writing, answered questions, and read from Chapter 15. He narrates the audiobooks of this series, and I highly recommend listening to them, because he is a delight.
I got to read poems and listen to some great music at Joan of Bark at Rubber Gloves on Wednesday (and also going to be performing on December 13 at the Fest, which you should come see if you’re local or want a reason to travel to Denton)!
This is the collab I didn’t know I needed. “No Good Deed” with Cynthia Erivo and Misty Copeland.
I am very excited about this evening and tomorrow, when I will be catching up on all the taking care of my home that I have been neglecting whilst out gallivanting around. I might even go ahead and put up the tree. ‘Tis (almost) the season!
Lenten season is upon us. I haven’t engaged in the common practice of giving something up for Lent in the last few years, and I don’t feel the need to do so this year. I’ve become quite Lutheran about the church seasons in general, but Lent has been the biggest change from how I observed it before I joined a Lutheran church. I do, however, want to acknowledge the season with practices that may help set my mind and spirit right again. I’ve been having a rough time lately, so most of what I want to do for Lent is strip things down to the bare essentials without taking out everything that gives me joy. I’m not sure this will look too different on the outside, but I just want to be more observant of my daily doings myself. Some journaling is likely in order. Additionally, since one side effect of rough times is my disinterest in things that usually bring me fulfillment, I’m going to see if Madeleine L’Engle’s Walking on Water or Meik Wiking’s The Art of Danish Living can help nudge me out of that.
I’m taking the whole week off for my 50th birthday later in the month. I’m going to go visit my parents the first weekend of my vacation. I have a few fun outings with friends during the week. And then Maggie and Michelle are coming to visit! Otherwise, I’m going to spend that week relaxing, which typically means reading, organizing, and random cleaning as I feel like it. I planted tomatoes yesterday, and I may plant more things if I feel so moved. I may visit some bookstores, but I may also just luxuriate in the fact that I don’t have to be anywhere for most of the week. Enjoying the simple life whenever I can.
I’m pretty stoked about my reading plans for March.
Barbara Isn’t Dying by Alina Bronsky – book in translation [general fiction]
The Bookshop by Penelope Fitzgerald – book adapted into a movie or show [books about books/writing]
OWC Challenge
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas – a book over 400 pages [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
The Reformatory by Tananarive Due – a book tagged as horror, cosmic horror, or speculative fiction [mystery/suspense]
Library Books
People have the following books on hold at the library, so I want to finish them quickly and return them. Waiting for books you’re longing to read is so stressful.
More than any other month of the year, my January TBR most closely resembles what it’s like inside my brain. It’s a unique blend of structure and chaos. Between my ambitious “these are the topics/challenges I’m most excited to explore right now” and my book clubs’ equally ambitious “let’s start the year off with a bang” and also my “maybe I should also read something light and fun because rest is resistance/important” tendencies, the list is all over the place. It’s also super long, because this is Ridiculous Optimism Week, and I love it.
As one of my reading goals for the year is to read more broadly across the different genres on my TBR, I’m going to note the category that I have each book listed under in brackets.
I loved starting my word for the year during Advent (the start of the church year). It’s especially useful to do so when the word of the year is wonder, and both Slowing and Enchantment [both are inspire/self-help/community care] were a great place to start. So I’m going to continue with both of these books and add a few more.
Mary Oliver poems (see various collections in the picture above) [poetry]
World of Wonders by Aimee Nezhukumatathil [essays/short stories]
When I set a goal for myself, one of the first things I do is gather information (sometimes I gather too much and get bogged down in all the scintillating details, but that’s another story for another day). So here are some books I’m reading/starting this month to get me started on my resolutions.
My two main reading challenges this year are from the 52 Book Club and Libro.fm, but if/when Overeducated Women With Cats and Nowhere Bookshop post theirs, I’ll probably jump on those as well. I joined another online book club and I’m not sure where I’m going to put the prompts, but they’ll probably be in this section as I ease my way into the community. For now, though, here are the books I’m reading this month for specific challenges.
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, read by Richard Gere and Haley Joel Osment – Reread an old favorite on audio [fantasy/nonrealism/sci-fi/etc.]
The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop – Read a winning audiobook from our 2024 Bookseller Choice Awards [memoir]
One of the prompts is to share Libro.fm with a friend or family member. I’m still trying to figure out how to pick a book for that prompt for my StoryGraph tracking, but in the meantime, click this link to check it out!
If I’m going to stay at the same place, this is how I want it to improve.
If I wasn’t careful, this theme would lead me into a world of rabbit holes and contingency plans. I’m not opposed to either of those things, but I’m not sure I’m at a place to take on a whole year of them.
In other words, “if” isn’t quite ringing true for me. I want a word that captures the mystery of “if…” without the ellipses. Without boxing myself into its implied necessary action. I’m not opposed to taking action. I’m just wary of obligation.
So instead of “if” and all its intense expectations, I’m going to dive deep into wonder and all of its questions.
Merriam-Webster has several definitions of wonder that I love:
A cause of astonishment
The quality of exciting amazed admiration
Rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one’s experience
To feel surprise
To feel curiosity or doubt
Marvel
Miracle
Yes, please. All of that. I want a year of being open to mystery. I want a life that leaves room for both curiosity and doubt. I want a year on which I can look back and marvel.
After all, I’m turning 50 this year. I want to be open to big things.
This is one of my favorite days of the year – the day that I make resolutions and set goals for the next 12 months. It seems contrary to the nature of wonder, however, to predetermine what is going to happen the whole year. So I’m going to jot down some wishes – things that might be fun or interesting – with just enough structure to be measurable in case they develop into actual goals but also enough room for interpretation to allow them to evolve or disintegrate as needed, depending on…*gestures broadly*
My wishes for 2025:
To read 180 books (per yesterday’s post).
To look for opportunities for wonder. I want to be charmed by the world. I want to recapture the delight in simple things and little kindnesses. I crave whimsy. And I don’t want it just for me – I want to share it.
To buy 50 books (one for each year I’ve been alive) in person from independent bookstores. Originally, this goal was to buy 5 books each at 10 different bookstores, but then I started listing bookstores I want to visit..and it’s more than 10. So still 50 total, but I’m going to spread the love a little more broadly.
To cook at least 50 meals. This past year was unusual, and there were whole months in which I did not cook at all. To be clear, that doesn’t mean I just ate takeout (although I did that more frequently than usual). A lot of the food I buy is premade and ready to assemble and eat as snacks or salads or sandwiches, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Fed is best. But I also miss cooking, and I feel better when I do so on a regular basis. I want to average at least one cooked meal a week (with a couple of weeks off during staff training or holidays).
To set and meet 50 small financial goals. I didn’t talk about the goal I set for my finances last year, because medical expenses are expensive and I didn’t have the confidence that I’d actually be able to make it. But I did. I saved a month’s salary in an emergency fund. And then I made the first payment on a medical bill (which is exactly what emergency funds are for, I guess). And I built my savings back up. And made another first payment on a different medical bill. And I have – for the third time – almost reached a month’s salary in savings again. This didn’t happen spontaneously, though. I did it by setting monthly financial goals for both my outgoing budget and my savings. This year, there are additional things I want to do that will help me (eventually) draft a retirement plan, so I’m going to work those goals in as well. I do not harbor delusions that I will be able to retire fully any time soon (if ever), but with a little preparation, I think I can see a lighter workload on the distant horizon.
To write 50,000 words. This may be one story, or it may be 100. I just want to get back into a regular writing practice.
To consistently meet daily goals on my Finch app. Most of my reminders to eat, or drink water, or do something creative (whether that be writing or knitting or music or whatever), or take a walk/stretch break, come through Finch. Neurospicy folk, gamify the daily activities everyone else thinks of as habits. This app has helped me so much.
To make a list of 50 fun things to do in the next 10 years. I already have a few ideas, but I am going to take the whole year to decide what makes the final cut. Something to look forward to!
This is a long and ambitious list, and I fully expect my intentions to wax and wane as the year throws whatever curve balls it’s got up its sleeve. After all, sometimes just surviving is the only accomplishment a person needs to achieve.
But these wishes give me hope and spark a little bit of the type of wonder that I desperately want this year.
“My bucket list of little things aims to live every moment as if it’s my first. To find the glory in what a seasoned eye might falsely consider mundane.” Andrea Gibson, Things That Don’t Suck (Substack)
It has been a long week. Nothing particularly bad has happened. I’ve just felt puny and tired. The weather, however, is gorgeous. It was 52 when I left home. I am wearing a light sweater!
Today, I need a list of things to look forward to this season that aren’t super ambitious but still give me ways to ground myself and remind myself that I’m alive and meant to be living and not just muddling through.
Buy a delicious cup of coffee and drink it while browsing a bookstore. Take all the time I want.
Take shorter, more frequent walks. Not everything has to be hard all at once. A little bit multiple times a day is better than pushing myself and getting too exhausted to do anything else for hours.
Keep my hands warm and nimble with piano and knitting.
Make soup without rushing. Pan roast the veggies slowly. Add one ingredient at a time. Fill my home with cozy smells.
Take drives. Drive down winding country roads just outside of town and find the few trees in Texas that know what time of year it is. Drive down my favorite streets and let the memories of every time I’ve been there before flow over me.
It’s been a pretty chill week here overall. I mean, my back seized up (due to sleeping too long? Sleeping in the same position? Breathing too hard? Who even knows.) for the first time in my life, and that was unpleasant. I told the nurse taking my labs that it had never happened to me before and she said, “How old are you?” When I replied, “49,” she laughed and told me I was due. I’ve done a casual survey of people I’ve spoken to this week and can confirm that they all seem to think that’s a fair assessment. *sigh* Fine.
Anyway, here are some things I ran across on the internet this week. Enjoy!
Stop everything and go to my friend Shadan’s Etsy shop, HappyHeartsBoxes. I can personally attest that she puts together the best gifts. Let her take the guesswork out of it for you.
I am a big proponent of the 3 Drink Theory, and mine definitely follow the caffeinate/alleviate/hydrate pattern. My most frequent trifecta at work is coffee, an espresso milkshake from The Market, and a bottle of water.
I’ve added the Aubrey app for more audiobook options. I’m most excited about the prospect of discussion questions included at the end of many of the books (great for book clubs when I’m in charge of leading) and the monthly listen-alongs! I think my first is going to be Alice in Wonderland in May!
I love this piece (and these book selections) from Lisa Bartelt. I, too, am (more) drawn (than usual) to dystopian or darker fiction these days.
I met Shawn and Maile at a writing retreat in Virginia a few years ago (I say a few, it was pre-pandemic…what is time…) and have followed their writing ever since. I can’t think of two people more well-suited to owning a bookstore and fostering a literary community. I’m so excited for them and their new adventure with Nooks, and if you’re in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, check it out and let me live vicariously through you.
I hope you all have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!
One of the prompts for Nowhere Bookshop’s 2024 Reading Bingo is “Your Roman Empire book.” That is, a book about a subject that you think of all the time – “a niche or specific obsession, interest or event that has a considerable impact or influence on someone.”
There are many topics that could fit into this category for me. My ideal home. Hygge. Neurospicy brains and the wonders of how they function. Mutual aid. Fair labor. Countries I could retire to that practice mutual aid and fair labor.
As I was pondering which of these topics I would choose a book to read about, an image sprang to mind.
A herd of musk oxen.
Any time someone does something sweet or says something kind, or any time I think of teamwork or community (which is quite often, especially given that a big part of my job is leading a team), I think of the humble musk ox.
The preacher of the church I belonged to for most of my 20s and early 30s was a great storyteller. One of my favorite stories he told was about these large, wooly creatures. Musk oxen aren’t particularly fast or agile. Their main predators – wolves and grizzly bears – could easily take out a musk ox on its own.
The problem for wolves and bears is that they can’t fight just one musk ox. At the first sign of danger, the herd circles up, facing outward. They put the young, the ill, and the injured – the most vulnerable – in the center of the circle to protect them. When the attack comes, the predator has to face all the strongest members of the herd.
It’s a pretty effective defense strategy and a good example of what a healthy community looks like.
There are many ideas I picked up at this church that I’ve had to confront and unlearn. There are several things I accepted as given when I was there that my current boundaries wouldn’t let me be a part of now.
But it is also true that these are the people who taught me how to live in community. They taught me how to be vulnerable enough to depend on others and how to be someone others can depend on, too.
Welcome to the first TBR of the year! In addition to my traditional reading of The Little Prince on New Year’s Day, these are the things I’m planning to read this month.
Book Clubs
In looking at my TBRs from last year, I noticed that the books that were left unread each month the most often were the ones from online book clubs when I had something else planned the night we met to discuss them (which was more often than not). So while I’m still maintaining my subscriptions to the Fantastic Strangelings and Happy Endings book clubs, and I shall remain a paid subscriber on Substack (a rarity for me) to follow Roxane Gay’s recommendations, I’m not going to list them in this section unless I’m actually planning to read and discuss them during the month in question. You’ll probably see them in other sections in later months, though, as I do eventually get around to reading them.
Night Will Find You by Julia Heaberlin – You know how readers have certain favorite authors? Book clubs have their faves, too. The first meeting of Brenda’s book club I ever attended was when Julia Heaberlin came as the guest of honor (I can’t remember if it was when we read Playing Dead or Black-Eyed Susans). We do enjoy her mysteries.
Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus – I may not read this one a third time (or I may…it’s so good), but clearly I am on a mission to get every book club to read and talk about it.
The Reformatory by Tananarive Due – Our choose-your-own-adventure in Follow the Reader this month is a book released in the last year. Haunting historical fiction is one of my favorite genres to read when the weather is bleaker. To balance (and also so I can get it back to Janelle soon), I’m also reading Check & Mate by Ali Hazelwood.
The Murder of Mr. Wickham by Claudia Gray – The theme for Rise and Shine this month is mystery, so what better time to read one that needs to go back to the library soon?
Reading Challenges
This section can be hard to organize succinctly. I thought about just listing all the books but why make it easy? Instead, since I often count the same book for different challenges, I will list the books I’m reading and then the prompts on each challenge they satisfy.
Also, I have added another challenge because their Instagram handle is Overeducated Women With Cats (abbreviated OWC below). And also there’s Nowhere’s Book Bingo…so that’s happening. The Little Prince has already fulfilled the category of “a reread” on this one, so I’m off to a good start!
Another busy week, another busy weekend. This one is going to be pretty exciting, though. Tomorrow is the dress rehearsal for our Advent/Christmas program at church, which we will present on Sunday morning. And then Sunday night, my band Wenepa is playing at Rubber Gloves at 8:30.
(I mean, it’s Chickasaw – not Cherokee – for “noise” and also we’re a quartet – not a quintet – but…close?)
I have not had a lot of focus this week (or for the last six months, but who’s counting), so I didn’t read as much as I wanted to. Here are some things I did finish/run across. Enjoy!
The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow – I had high hopes for this one. I had heard a lot of good things about it. But my overall impression? Meh. The storyline was okay. The characters were fine. I liked it enough to at least finish it. It just didn’t stand out. If you like historical fiction with some magic thrown in, you may enjoy it.
To Fall in Love, Drink This: A Wine Writer’s Memoir by Alice Feiring – Alice Feiring is the reason I started drinking mostly organic, unfussed-around-with wines, and to this day, most of my favorites fit in this category. I tabbed so much of this book as she listed hundreds of wines to try and what she finds interesting about them. I also enjoyed the stories of her family and her career. It was a quick, informative, and fun read.
I love this piece about making even mundane tasks or errands into an event. I mean, I’m not sure that I need to add another stop to errands, so I love the theme of the piece more than some of the specific details. Sign me up for at least one pasta/wine night a week at home with music and comfy clothes, though. I, too, like certain moments in that movie (Because I Said So) and that scene (as well as several other scenes…and Gabriel Macht…) for those same reasons. It looks like a good life.
Besides my sister, there is only one friend I grew up with about whom I can say we are even closer today than we were back then.
That friend is Sarah.
We went to school together in Childress, and we hung out at school (and outside of it, too, when I was allowed). Even then, she was perpetually cool and always up for an adventure. We had very different experiences growing up, but Sarah has always been someone who can be trusted with my hopes and dreams (even when those dreams are a romance novel I wrote in 6th grade).
(Photo credit – ? Did Stephen take this picture?)
Years went by, and we saw each other around Denton occasionally, but then she invited me to a book club at her house. A chance to reconnect – and over books?! Of course, I’m in! I’m so glad she thought to include me, because the book club is wonderful, but even more than that, because she reached out, today I get to count her among my closest friends.
One of my favorite things about Sarah is her encyclopedic knowledge of so many fascinating people and things. I loooove learning new things, and I always learn something new around her. Without Sarah, I would not know…
…that Booked Up (RIP) ever existed or half as much about Larry McMurtry (also RIP) as I know now.
…about Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s podcast Wiser Than Me. I’ve only listened to her interviews with Jane Fonda, Isabel Allende, and Ruth Reichl (three people, by the way, who would be in my top ten most coveted interviewees if I were to host such a podcast), and I’m hooked.
…and so much more. Sarah has a way of recommending things to me that she knows I’ll love. She’s an incredible listener and has an amazing memory. I can listen to her for hours.
(Photo credit – Kara Dry)
She is the first person I performed with at a Spiderweb event. In fact, she’s the first person I performed with (outside of church, if you count that) since grad school. I love collaborating with her; I think we work together pretty well.
Sarah is generous with her knowledge, her time, her home, and her coffee.
And her pets.
She’s one of the only people who has a standing invitation to my parents’ farm “whether I come with her or not,” according to Dad.
Sarah, I love you, and I’m so proud of you and all you have accomplished. You inspire me and feed me and love me so well, and I’m lucky we’re friends.
Also – shameless plug – everyone go to Molten Plains Fest in December. This is the second year Sarah and Ernesto have organized it, and it’s going to be AMAZING.
I love you, friend, and I hope your birthday (and every day) is fantastic.
