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Archive for the ‘Beauty’ Category

The Year That Was Meant To Be Quiet

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Health, Mental Health, Quiet, Reading Challenges, Resolutions on April 15, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Life seems to be plodding along lately. I am not doing a lot of things I’d usually do because I don’t have the energy (and also there are so, so many germs out there that my body just can’t handle being around right now). My treatment has hit a small hiccup (delayed due to concerning lab results – nothing too drastic or out of the ordinary, I’m assured), and that’s frustrating.

But I’m getting through it without too many terrors, so I guess that’s something.

This weekend, I participated in Dewey’s 24-hour Readathon. And by participated, I do mean read sporadically and fell asleep a lot. I finished one of the books I started, though, and I’ll probably finish another tonight. I don’t see me finishing the book for book club by tomorrow. It’s a long one, and while I started it last month, I haven’t been reading consistently so time got away from me a bit.

The whole weekend was so relaxing. I even got some journaling in, and I remembered my word for the year.

Quiet.

In many ways, it has been quieter simply because I’m doing less and staying home more. I’m even doing less when I’m at home. I still clean and work on projects but in much shorter spurts. I haven’t had the attention span to read as much as usual. I’ve decided that while I’m still going to try to complete some of my reading challenges, writing reviews for each book I do read is probably not a reasonable expectation this year. So it’s been quieter here, too.

But when I do leave home, everything is so intense.

I’m not just going to work; I’m rushing through getting things done because I’m out so much with appointments and don’t want to miss anything important. Also, my office is moving (again) into a louder part of the office (again). One day, I’ll actually get to settle into this position and feel like I have my head on straight. I hope.

I’m not just getting regular check-ups but intense treatments that make me feel puny, and that affects every other aspect of my life.

I’m attending very few social events, but I feel way more social than usual because I’m trying to keep people informed and constantly answering questions of “How are you doing?” and “How can I help?” which are very sweet questions to ask. I do miss, however, having conversations about literally anything else. I’m so tired of talking about myself (which I realize may not be believable given that I’m currently doing so on the internet but…you get it).

What I want to explore this week is carving out quiet spaces in the chaos. I want to turn my new office into a calm area where I can be productive without getting overstimulated. I want to give myself buffers around my appointments so that I am not just darting to them and rushing back but having a chance to process (or just breathe) a little before I jump right into the next thing. I want to be bolder about changing the subject when I can’t possibly fathom talking about my body or my needs for one minute longer. Simply ending these conversations when I need to is also a good alternative.

I enjoy solitude and quiet time, so while this is a challenge, it’s a welcome one. In fact, I think it’s just what I need to get myself back to some semblance of what I meant this year to be.

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Friday Five – Sort of Normal

Posted in Beauty, Church, Denton, Food, Friday Five, Home, Quiet, Work on March 2, 2024| 1 Comment »

This week has been a mix of ups and downs, but it has felt like the most normal week I’ve had so far this year. I got to see some friends and had enough energy to put in almost a full week of work. I’m about to hunker down with a book and a cup of tea for the evening, but I thought I’d share a few things with you first.

  • One of the main things on my mind this week is the wildfires in the Texas Panhandle. My parents live a few hours south of where most of the blazes happened. So much loss, and here is how you can help.
  • The title “Warm House on a Quiet Day” stuck out as a cozy invitation in my inbox, but when I clicked to read it, it was so much more. Laura Grace Weldon’s words read like my constant internal monologue. 
  • I’ve been trying to find a small, portable snack and ran across this little gem – savory oatmeal cookies. I made the rosemary/parmesan ones. This weekend, I may experiment with subbing thyme, adding dried cherries, and leaving out all the dairy for the next batch. I feel like the possibilities are endless, and I am committed to exploring them with reckless abandon.
  • This piece by Lisa Bartelt is beautiful. My church is coming through for me in lovely, astounding ways these days, and it’s been a good reminder of why I picked them and why I choose to keep coming back. But even during more normal seasons, the rituals and the community I have there work wonders in my soul. 
  • And finally, I got to go to a vigil for Nex Benedict last night, and it was lovely. Following up a bit from last week, here is a list of resources from OUTreach Denton that can help you learn about how to get more involved in advocating for LGBTQ+ folk, particularly youth. Most of these are based in the DFW area, but I encourage you to look for resources around where you live if you’re not local to me.

I hope you’ve had a good week, and I hope you have an even better weekend!

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Friday Five – August Home Edition

Posted in 31 Days, Beauty, Books, Food, Friday Five, Home, Joy, Resolutions, Work on August 25, 2023| Leave a Comment »

I love that the last Friday in August is here. I know that there’s no magical off switch for all the busyness and the horrible heat and the general ARGH of my most stressful month of the year when the date changes to September, but it feels like there is. Y’all – I take my relief and my peace any way I can get it, even if it’s just through the story I’m making up in my head.

Here are some of the ways I’ve been reflecting on my theme of home this month.

  • I love the meandering path of this piece on minimalism. Minimalism is a nice concept but also can be judgy and steeped in privilege and is often a thinly veiled excuse for even more shopping (and thus the inevitable accrual of more things, which one might argue is the exact opposite of the true spirit of minimalism). As someone who appreciates minimalism as an idea (and omg I love Marie Kondo) but leans more toward cozy and whimsical in decorating a home/office/patio that actually feels like a home to me, I have had every single one of the feelings the writer describes.
  • Speaking of accruing things, Bed, Bath, and Beyond is all online now that they have closed/are closing all their stores, and I am riveted. I look at this website at least once a day. I have yet to buy anything because these days I get stressed about the prospect of actually spending money on anything, even if I need it (a positive swing in my spendy attitude but also I could stand to dial back the trepidation a little – I’m sure in time it will balance). But I’m making plans. So. Many. Plans. I need a new mattress, and I want to upgrade some of my chairs in the apartment over the course of the next couple of years. And this table is so cute and functional. I love it when things are both.
  • “What if we understood our lists as menus instead?” But seriously. WHAT IF WE UNDERSTOOD OUR LISTS AS MENUS INSTEAD!?! I resonated with this piece so much that my eyes welled up with tears. My life, my home, my writing, my reading (etc.) are all governed by a series of lists. Reading this essay took a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t know I was carrying. If you have a love-hate relationship with the to-do lists (or the TBR list) in your life, consider the perspective of Oliver Burkeman (The Imperfectionist – also love that blog title and I’m a little mad that I didn’t think of it first). I also love the tagline on the main page “…building a meaningful life in an age of bewilderment.” You know what, let’s just sign up for the newsletter. I feel like I need more bold imperfection in my inbox.
  • I love these reflections on home compiled by Amy Studarus as featured on Shondaland, especially the ones that talk about helping others make their home dreams a reality. I like the way we are all connected by our own concepts of home and what that means, even when we mean very different things. One of my favorite things about having a theme word for each year is gathering the wisdom of others who have given it more thought than I have and thus have had time to put that thought into action. I like seeing how their reflections are playing out.
  • Even though my current kitchen is the least favorite kitchen I’ve ever had, it’s still an important part of my home and one I spend a lot of my waking hours in. In my 31 days series coming up in October, I am going to talk about the foods and recipes that remind me of home, whether that means the farm where I grew up or one of the places I’ve lived since then. I strongly connect food to the places and people I love, and I am looking forward to hashing that out a bit in writing. In the meantime, I am reading cookbooks and kitchen memoirs and foodie fiction, gleaning inspiration on how I want to present my thoughts on the meals that hold special meaning for me. Joy the Baker is one of my favorite people who write about food, and her post about this summer’s peach crisp is a good example of why. She starts off with a short personal reflection (i.e., she actually blogs on her food blog, which is inexplicably a source of contention for many people, which I will address in my anchor post on October 1). Then she explains what makes this recipe stand out among others of its kind and goes through the role that each ingredient plays. This is my favorite part of her posts, because as long as I’ve been cooking and baking, I still usually learn something. She’s not just handing us a recipe – she’s teaching us why it works, which ultimately helps us, her readers, become more confident and more adventurous in our own kitchens at home. I love that.

Friends, I hope you are having a good day, and I wish you a relaxing weekend!

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Friday Five – Home (and Office) Update

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Food, Friday Five, Fun, Home, Mental Health, Resolutions, Work on July 28, 2023| Leave a Comment »

From The Museum of Ordinary People by Mike Gayle – “The older you get, the more home becomes about people rather than place, I think. The older you get, the more roots are about where you want to be rather than where you come from.”

Our cookbook club meets tonight, and the theme is pickles. Up until this week, I was going to make cheddar and dill biscuits but it’s so very hot, so I’ve made pickled carrots and bought a nice cheese to go with them instead. I love sharing food with these folks. It’s one of the things I look forward to the most each month.

  • This piece – “The Poetics of Family Life” – outlined some interesting insights into the home being its own harmonious entity, not just a reflection of public life and its guidelines. It’s more zoned toward families, but there are some nuggets of wisdom that I’m chewing on for myself, too. 
  • It will depend on how much the paycheck actually changes in the next few months, of course, but I am already breathing easier about finances. The thought of being able to not only make my overall budget and beef up my savings but also have enough left over to go out for dinner/drinks with friends a few times a month without sticking to a diet of pb&j and ramen the week before payday, or replace worn-out clothing and shoes as needed without having to dip into an emergency fund, or just buy cute little upgrades for my home like these pillows on a consistent basis is so incredibly freeing. I might even be able to start a fun fund within the next year for extravagances such as vacations or a car.
  • On being the person you are on vacation…this is a good reminder to make time not only for the practical work that I need to do to make my home run well but also for rest and rejuvenation. I’m working through The Artist’s Way again, and while I remembered writing morning pages from the time I worked through it before (over a decade ago), I forgot the instruction to schedule a weekly artist date with yourself – something to feed your creativity. While I would argue that once a week is not enough (acknowledging, of course, that the time to be able to work in more than one a week is a privilege some don’t have), this was another gentle reminder to not let weeks slip by without being intentional about protecting my calm and creativity.
  • I am at the overwhelmed stage of the new job. That’s fine. Everything’s fine. But these tips on how to stay grounded and feel at home with yourself really came in handy this week. I only hyperventilated once. Good job, me!
  • The title of that last article also reminded me that I need to get some plants for my office because I can BECAUSE I HAVE A WINDOW NOW (those caps are excited-shouty, not angry-shouty). We’re doing two weeks of training for the student staff that I supervise, and then we open all the buildings for fall, but after that chaos has passed, I think my treat to myself after that is going to be some greenery for the office. Because I enjoy having indoor plants but not necessarily planting them, I’ll probably be scouting for new little windowsill friends at True Leaf Studio.

I hope you have a great and restful weekend!

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Friday Five – Home Update

Posted in Andilit, Beauty, Core, Fiction, Fishbowl, Friday Five, Home, Joy, Resolutions, Work, Writing on June 30, 2023| Leave a Comment »

June has been a pretty good month, all things considered. I mean, weather and legislation are gross, because Texas. And my dad had to put our dog Lola down, so I’m pretty sad about that. But despite a few storms, rainbows abound (feel free to interpret that in as many possible ways as you can). 

Here is this month’s update on my home theme. Enjoy!

  • I enjoyed this piece by Sarah E. Westfall on The Exhaustion of Stuff – “A home is more than a place to put our things. A home shapes us. It is where we are formed in relationship and, in an ideal setting, feel safe and supported. But when the Stuff™ that surrounds us is excessive or lacks meaning or breeds chaos, those same qualities begin to manifest themselves within us.” Sometimes, I am nostalgic about belongings and keep them even when they’re cluttery because I have feelings about getting rid of them (not all of these feelings are joy. Just…feelings). However, I am currently in a “pitchy” phase – I’m cleaning out closets and being rather ruthless in what I get rid of. It feels so good. I got a take back bag from For Days, and I am having absolutely no problem filling it. I expect it will be ready to send back in about a week. Happy.
  • One group of items that I have a hard time getting rid of is all those shoes. I love shoes. I love having a lot of choices, even though I typically wear only the same three or four pair. I’ve bravely put some of them in the giveaway pile, but for the rest, I am looking into better storage options so that they don’t just sit in a heap in the closet floor. 
  • I love this kind, stellar advice (as usual) from Ask Polly. Part of what I’m embracing about being at home with myself this year – with great enthusiasm and joy – is unlearning the urge to monetize everything I enjoy. To become the fucking weirdo who is really good at things she’s not trying to capitalize on. 
  • The flip side, of course, is that I hope to someday capitalize a little more on what I enjoy doing the most so it can be the thing I do full-time. The older I get, the more creativity is fundamental to my core and my happiness. I’m looking forward to some intensive creative time this weekend and part of next week. Specifically, I am doing my first DIY writing retreat of the year next Monday night through Wednesday night (ish), so I’m finishing up preparations for it this weekend. I have two main goals for this session – to edit and submit the first chapter of either “Fishbowl” or “November” to the Gutsy Great Novelist Page One Prize and to finish Andi Cumbo’s Smash the Myths course.
  • Finally, I am happy to announce that I have been offered the position of Coordinator for Housing Services! I expect it to be a smooth transition, as I’ll be working with the same team I’m currently on, just with different responsibilities that are more in line with my strengths. Also, I will be moving into one of the offices (and thus out of the reception area yay), so I am spending a lot of free time building my dark academia Pinterest board with decorating ideas. Looking to build a cozy, welcoming space but also make it a reflection of my personal style as much as possible.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

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Summer Bucket List 2023

Posted in Beauty, Books, Food, Fun, Home, Joy, Lucky, Lush, Mental Health, Resolutions, Seasons, Writing on June 22, 2023| 2 Comments »

Inspired by Joy the Baker, I have been making summer bucket lists for a few years. Summer is my least favorite season, which can feel isolating when it seems like it’s everyone else’s favorite. Sometimes I even trick myself into thinking this year will be different. My April and May self will see all the fun events planned for June and get excited. But when summer actually hits, I want to just curl up in a blanket and binge-watch something familiar (I’m currently rewatching Lucifer and Merlin). 

I suspect I have a little SAD going on, as this time of the year seems to be when I most need to ramp up good mental health habits. So the summer bucket list is partly self-care and partly a reminder that there’s something to look forward to.

  • Experiment with making summertime treats. Specifically, I have been obsessed with icebox pies lately. Some of them are recipes on their own; some are ice cream recipes I just freeze in a pie crust. I’ve got a long list to test and see which ones are my favorites, but here are a few to give you an idea of how delicious I intend my summer to be:
    • Coffee
    • Lemonade (also trying one with limeade)
    • Cherry (and blueberry and peach, etc.) cheesecake 
    • Maple whiskey
    • Banana cream
    • Tres leches
  • Have a two-day writing retreat at home. I am planning for this to be July 4 and 5, but I haven’t decided which project(s) I’m working on yet. I do know that I want to introduce the paid subscriber portion of my Substack by the end of the year, so I do need to edit some pieces to get them ready for the paying public. More on all of this later.
  • Have at least one reading retreat at home. If nothing else, I’ll be participating in Dewey’s Reverse readathon in July, but I’m open to more decadent reading days/weekends.
  • Take a mid-year financial health assessment – not necessarily for the blog (although I may post highlights) but just for my information. I feel like I’ve made considerable progress, but I want to actually crunch the numbers. 
  • Look for joy or luck or magic and document it (journal, Instagram, etc.). Take the lessons I’ve learned from past years’ themes and apply them. 

A medium-to-big life change is coming up soon, and I want to leave space for it. But I also don’t want to forget to take care of myself this summer so that I can keep overwhelm at a minimum.

Do you have any exciting summer plans?

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Friday Five – Home

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Core, Friday Five, Home, Joy, Resolutions on June 2, 2023| Leave a Comment »

“Home wasn’t a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.” – Sarah Dessen, from What Happened to Goodbye

In exploring the concept of home, I’ve noticed that certain things stand out to me. For the rest of the year, a few of our Friday Fives are going to focus on books and think pieces that have sparked reflections about some of those things. 

  1. Shawn Smucker’s piece On the Road Again – “Now that I”m 46, homesickness is more of an ache for the place and the people where I belong, where I fit.” I spent most of last weekend on my parents’ farm, with a brief stint at the cousin’s place to attend a graduation party for his oldest child who is now an actual grown-up. [Aside – WHAT. I swear he was just born a minute ago.] It was so good to catch up with the extended family I came from, and we’re going to need to do that more often. I also really love coming back to Denton after a weekend away, though. Walking into my messy apartment where everything is mine and is just where I left it gives me a special kind of peace.
  2. The Secret of Poppyridge Cove by Rimmy London – Should you use an inheritance to buy a great house that comes with some land and a private beach entrance but that is also possibly haunted and/or frequented by a (maybe) serial killer? I know the “responsible” answer to this fantasy scenario is probably no, especially when the money is not all in the bank account quite yet, but then I had to keep turning up the volume on this audiobook to hear it over my upstairs neighbors and their cute dogs committing the grievous act of walking across the room in their own apartment, so WHERE DO I SIGN?! I am inspiring/torturing myself with a lot of books lately that revolve around the act of buying a home and making it yours (even if there are bumps and possibly corpses along the way). I liked both this one and A Traitor at Poppyridge Cove, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the series.
  3. The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg – I’m not saying that, when I retire, I’m going to put everything in storage and just drive until I find the town and house I want to live in, but this book makes a good argument for it. I really enjoyed it. Yes, as a couple of the online reviews state, it does read a little bit like a Hallmark Christmas movie (minus the Christmas). But there are so many poignant moments about grief and friendship and delicious food and community that it might have well had my name in the title because clearly it was written for me.  It wasn’t just finding a place to land that helped the main character through her grief but also remembering to find joy in small, ordinary pleasures and with the people who showed up alongside her. I could use that reminder myself from time to time. 
  4. I love the way Christie Purifoy writes about place. In this guest post, she pursues the answer to the question, “What if our homes could be places that bring us back to life?” I love being at home, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things I want to get done there. I get started with one project and then have to work or be somewhere else, so it takes longer than I would like to make a dent or a difference. But at other times, I look out my patio door at the tiny garden that is thriving, or I sit in my office among my books and glance up to see one I’d forgotten I had, and I’m filled with gratitude for this little space of mine. More of these life-giving moments, please.
  5. How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis – This is the book I didn’t even know I needed right now. Usually with advice-laden books, I take notes because 1) that’s my best learning style, and 2) I want a succinct list of highlights to review later. I didn’t do that with this one because it’s short and I own it so I just decided to tab the pages. I have so many tabbed spots. It’s the tabbing equivalent of highlighting the whole book. But at just over 150 pages (if you include the appendix and the acknowledgments), it’s so rich in information. My favorite takeaway is that care tasks (whether for home or self) are morally neutral. You are not a better or worse person/adult based on how much you get done. I want this lesson to permeate my whole life this year. I already know it in my head but my heart and soul take a minute to catch up.

I’m very much looking forward to an easy weekend. Rest. Recoup. Also, dishes and maybe dusting. Putting some of those principles from Davis’s book into practice.

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Friday Five – Poetry

Posted in Beauty, Books, Friday Five, Home, Mental Health, Poetry, Reading Challenges, Resolutions on April 28, 2023| Leave a Comment »

This week’s recap is going to be a little different. As you know, it’s National Poetry Month, and I’ve read a lot of poems! There were a few collections that were just meh for me and one that fell so flat that I couldn’t even bear to make it through, but I finished and enjoyed most of the ones I planned on:

I have also been bookmarking poems to share with my beloved Follow the Reader friends. I only shared a few snippets that night because I’m misfiring all over the place this week, so transporting from the page to my brain to my mouth is hard. But here are five of my favorites from the month:

  1. “A Song for the Status Quo” by Saeed Jones (Alive at the End of the World) – This whole collection is amazing. I also like this interview about his work. 
  2. “The Noisiness of Sleep” by Ada Limón (Bright Dead Things). I love the concluding line – “I want to be the rough clothes you can’t sleep in.”
  3. Elizabeth Wilder (Balefire) – “There is not much I trust so wholeheartedly as the musty-scented pages of a book.”
  4. “Perhaps the World Ends Here” by Joy Harjo (Weaving Sundown in a Scarlet Light). Of course, the line about coffee charmed me – “Our dreams drink coffee with us as they put their arms around our children.”
  5. To continue the celebration of poetry (does it ever end, really?), I’m currently reading and enjoying Clint Smith’s Counting Descent. 

And finally, a little something to start your weekend off right. For your aural enjoyment, half an hour of Tom Hiddleston reading poetry. You’re welcome.

Have a good one, friends!

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Friday Five – Good Friday

Posted in Beauty, Books, Church, Food, Friday Five, Home, NaNoWriMo, Resolutions, Writing on April 7, 2023| Leave a Comment »

It’s my mom’s birthday! She is officially an octogenarian! She’ll be so excited that I told the internet that. 

And happy Good Friday to those who observe. Although…is “happy” the right adjective there? Happy death of our Lord? Yay, crucifixion? Congratulations on the commemoration of Jesus being murdered by the state under pressure from an angry mob? 

ANYWAY.

Hi. It is Friday – the end of the work week – and that is something to be happy about. 

  1. I never know what to take for Easter brunch at church. Side dish? Breakfast casserole? Something I can make the day before? Nothing but a healthy appetite because I already am going to be there as assisting minister at the 8:30 service and contrary to my personal feelings/raising, I don’t actually have to do everything? Heavily leaning toward the last one, but have not completely ruled out blueberry monkey bread as an option.
  2. I am enjoying Camp NaNoWriMo. I’m working on my essay collection of to-do lists for complicated days. I set a goal of 10,000 words for the month, which averages out to a little less than 350 per day. Totally doable.
  3. Firekeeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley – This book was so good. I listened to the audio, but I may buy the hard copy because I can see myself re-reading it. What most stood out to me was the perfect pacing – it was fast enough to hold tension and keep the story moving but slow enough to build suspense. It felt like it was happening in real time. 
  4. Weyward by Emilia Hart – I liked this one a lot. It was just the right mix of dangerous and cozy. The book follows three generations of women who have a specific power, and the way they use it is quite satisfying. The audio reader was great – she made it super easy to distinguish between the three characters telling the story.
  5. As I’m pondering ways to make my apartment cozier (i.e., stuff more bookshelves and reading nooks in there), I often stumble across lists like this one. My current project is figuring out a way to divide the living room and dining area without making it feel cramped. I am considering getting rid of the big table. Maybe. I’m going to move things around and see how they work.

I hope you are having a good day and have an even better weekend!

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Before and After

Posted in Beauty, Books, Getting It Together, Home, Resolutions on January 24, 2023| Leave a Comment »

I recently rearranged part of my living room because, once I put my Christmas decorations back in the closet, I couldn’t bring myself to move the recliner back to that corner. I like it where it is. So instead, I moved the small table with my record player over. 

It works better there. It’s easier to access, and I use it more often now that it’s not hidden behind the couch and a bookshelf and some throw pillows.

Eventually, though, I want this whole wall to be tall bookshelves, so it and the records will need to move to one of those. I’m running out of space for records anyway. And I want more bookshelves on the opposite wall. Get rid of the couch. Add reading chairs and a lamp in its place. My plans just snowballed from there.

This small move inspired me to take pictures of all four of my main rooms – living, dining, office, bedroom. That way, I have “before” pictures. 

But y’all. They are a MESS. The picture above is literally the only one I’m willing to post on the intrawebs. And I’m annoyed with it, too, because why is the diffuser in the middle of the floor. Ugh.

I get used to the clutter when I live in it every day, but looking at it in a picture that I am considering showing other people makes it more real to me. On the one hand, that’s moderately motivating enough to inspire a few tidy sessions in the days that follow. But once that motivation passes, it will most likely just leave me overwhelmed and make me even more hesitant to ever invite people over. 

I keep reminding myself that this is a process. But it’s difficult to stay optimistic because I know not only my vision of what I want it to look like but also how very, very many steps it’s going to take to get it there. I yawned and daydreamed about taking a nap just typing that sentence. 

So maybe I’ll delete most of those pictures, and I’ll wait to take new ones until I have visual confirmation of having completed one of the steps toward my end goal (like the picture above). Proof of a small move in the right direction is more likely to inspire further plans and their enthusiastic execution than thorough documentation of my overall chaos.

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