Same cup, new office. I think it looks good here.
This week, I started my new job. It’s a welcome change, and I’ve been allowed to acclimate slowly (which is my very favorite way to acclimate). I even got to choose the office music yesterday (Ingrid Michaelson playlist, so basically we’re listening to the Grey’s Anatomy soundtrack. You’re welcome, office mates.). In mid-June, I move to my new home across town. This is also a welcome change, and I have a whole month to move. Change – even good change – stresses me out, but I am making these changes in the least stressful way possible.
This is a kindness and a blessing. There’s a lot of hope around lately.
Because I gotta be me, though, I still have anxious moments. I have gotten clutchy with the purse strings in the last couple of years, so dropping deposits and knowing my rent is going to increase so much *cough*notreallythatmuch*cough* in a couple of months is disconcerting. I couldn’t keep much of anything down and didn’t get much sleep the week that I signed the lease and gave notice that I was moving out from my current apartment. In the midst of immense relief, there still was anxiety. It wanted to be my best friend.
One night as I was watching the light on the ceiling change with the hours, exasperated, I breathed to God, “I’m going to trust you. I’m going to believe you that nothing has been forgotten or overlooked. I’m going to trust me. And I’m going to trust you to back me up.”
This is not the most faithful prayer I’ve ever prayed. It’s not quite the flying leap I used to make when I knew I had not thought the decision through and went ahead and made it anyway. I’ve thought this one through. I know it’s not all faith and hope. It’s mostly common sense and careful planning.
But the hope is important. The hope is what is making it possible to sleep and eat again.
Hope* kicks anxiety’s tail.
Hope is becoming my favorite change of all. I’ve missed it. I’m glad it’s back.
*and also the appropriate professional help and possibly meds. Get help when you need it. /public service announcement
I’m linking up with Marvia Davidson’s Real Talk Tuesday. Join us?
M. Suzanne Terry 
I get this on so many levels for sure. And I gladly admit to having prayed prayers just like yours. I think they’re just as heard as any other prayer. Yay for new opportunities and places to live. That sounds amazing! And what’s even more amazing is the permission we give ourselves to trust our hearts. That is the best thing ever! Thank you for writing this.
Thanks, Marvia. ❤
Sounds like a wonderful place to work with slow acclimation and the Grey’s Anatomy Soundtrack. I’ve prayed prayers like that plenty of times. Enjoy the adventure!…nice and easy.
I’m enjoying it so far. I have access to files today, so they’re going to throw me in. I’m excited to get started!