M. Suzanne Terry

I am tempted to direct this post to people of a certain age, specifically people in their late teens and early twenties.  It would be easy to make this one of those “kids these days!” posts, because that’s who most of my customers are, so from my vantage point, it would be easy to assume that this behavior is a generational trait.  I was reminded yesterday, however, that this particular behavior isn’t so much a trait of people of a certain generation as it is just people who don’t listen in general, because while most of  my examples might be from young “adults,” yesterday, I spoke to someone who reminded me that people their parents’ age aren’t so great with the information-processing/instruction-following either.

So I will just direct it to people of the world.  Actually, that’s a lot more fun.  Try it.  Say “people of the world,” out loud with your arms spread wide, as if you’re addressing a multitude.  Good times.

Anyway…

Dear people of the world,

There is a fine line between persistence and poor listening.

When you ask a question, listen to the answer that you’re given, and follow the instructions outlined in said answer in order to get what you want.  If you do not like the answer, however, do not just ask again.  Neither the answer nor the process have magically changed in the twenty seconds that have passed since you last asked, even if you rephrase the question.

The room change process STILL starts with the hall where you currently live, regardless of how many different people you ask or how many times you ask them for special treatment.

You still cannot have alcohol in your possession in our building if you are underage.  Even if you’re using it to cook.  Even if your parents buy it.  Go to their house and cook.  Problem solved.

No, I do not make exceptions to the “no make-up speeches” clause in the syllabus.  No make-up speeches.  Period.  There’s simply not time.  That you have a good excuse for missing does not change how time works.  You can give me all the scenarios that you want, but that will not change the policy.  If you have to miss a speech, write the paper to make up the points.  That’s the only other option.  Well, no.  There’s one more option.  It’s called “getting a zero.”

I cannot reserve a room for you until you are ready to commit to moving there.  I cannot guarantee that what is available now will be available when you do make a decision.  I hear that you are frustrated, and I empathize.  I would like to propose, however, that the cause of your frustration is your inability to make the decision needed to start the process, not the process itself.  We can’t hold two rooms for one person.  That would be chaos.

The U.S. Postal Service does not deliver door-to-door.  You’re thinking of UPS and FedEx.  We did not send the package back, so please stop yelling at me.  The USPS sent it back, on account-a you asked them to deliver to an address that has no mailbox, and they don’t do that.  I understand that you did not want this to happen, but on the bright side, now you know how the post office works.

You cannot roll a joint in class.  That is not an appropriate speech topic.  That you have asked me multiple times should be a sign unto you that perhaps you could benefit from a little more clarity in your life.

I will not give you your adult child’s room number.  I am sorry that they’re not answering their phone.  I would be upset with them, too.  But it is my job to safeguard the privacy of our residents, even residents who  ignore their mamas or forget to charge their phones.  You can ask again, but that doesn’t change the policy or my answer.  At least you know that I’m not handing out room numbers to people, so you can be comforted by the knowledge that there’s someone here who’s almost as protective of them as you are.  Silver lining?

You can’t take the weekend off if you can’t find anyone to cover your shift.  And you’re not making a great impression by asking me over and over again.  Sometimes, it does hurt to ask.

Seriously?  You cannot roll a joint in class.  Make better choices!

All of you – please remember – customer service  and servant leadership is just that – service, not blind obedience.  Sometimes, the best service is doing for you what you need, not what you want.

Especially if what you want is stupid.

Love,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Coffeesnob