M. Suzanne Terry

I really want to just bitch about the top ten most annoying things people do on the intrawebs, but I’m Southern, so I am going to sandwich it between two nice lists.  You can drink sweet tea or lemonade (or both!  Mix those suckers up for a delicious treat!) while you read, if you want.

Today, I’ll start with my top ten favorite things people do on the Internet:

10.  Links to their fundraising pages on social media sites

Okay, I’m probably in the minority here, but I really like this.  It serves three purposes for me.  It lets me know what they’re up to, which is the point of social media.  It gives me a tangible way to support what they’re doing but with fairly minimal effort, which reinforces my laziness.  And it’s just nice to see people getting involved in something beyond themselves.  Kudos all around!

9.  Funny animal videos

To be clear – funny means adorable animals doing adorable things.  Not “I trapped my cat in the washer – watch it struggle to breathe.  Isn’t that hilarious?”  No.  It is not hilarious.  It’s abuse, and those people need to be shot.  Not killed, necessarily, because then how do they learn and warn others?  They definitely could use a little light injury, though.  Nothing educates like a mild maiming.

But things like this –

make my LIFE.

8.  Suggestions of blogs that they enjoy reading

Almost all of my favorite bloggers were found through links sent to me by other people, and they have inspired me and made me laugh.  Sharing is caring!

7.  Theme Tweets

Most people who use Twitter use it as a glorified Facebook status.  I have no problem with that, mainly because that’s exactly how I use Twitter.  But there are some inspired individuals who tweet in themes, and of all the people I follow, the Theme Tweeters are my favorite (no offense to Nathan Fillion.  Or, you know, my actual friends whom I follow).  Little gems like omgthatspunny (pun tweets), ronswansoncats (cats who look like Ron Swanson – also found on Tumblr), shitmydadsays (also a book and a short-lived TV show), and my favorite – charliemcdowell (who tweets to the girls who live in the apartment above his – soon to be a book and OMG I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT!!!) – are the main reasons I didn’t dump Twitter long ago.

6.  Music suggestions

I love music, but I tend to find something I like and listen to it twenty dozen times until I just can’t stand it any longer.  Then I wistfully glance through my friends’ posts on all my social media outlets, and I am rewarded with various selections of things that I never would have even thought to give a listen until they suggested it.  As an added bonus, that song or artist will also serve as a pleasant reminder of my good friend Whats-His/Her-Face.

5.  People helping others through their own life experiences

Life is hard, but people still manage to go through it.  People make mistakes and learn from those mistakes.  Now, all these people could just keep the treasure of their experiences to themselves, or they could just share it with the people who are lucky enough to know them in person, but the Internet lets them share it with a potential million strangers who are going through similar things but might not have a good support system face-to-face (or they do, and online support is still welcome).  That’s so nice.

4.  Admission of failure, social awkwardness, or clumsiness (particularly of the Autocorrect variety)

I love omg-you-will-not-believe-what-I-just-did stories.  I tell these stories often, so hearing them from others indicates that I have found a friend or further cements said friendship, if it already exists.  Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, the company website – no matter where they post them, I will read them and look at pictorial proof (bonus points), and I will laugh and be really happy that, for once, the story wasn’t mine.

But no fail report gives me more joy or makes me laugh more unattractively than http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/.

I have banned myself from reading this website at the front desk, because it makes me laugh until I cry, and it’s hard to provide quality customer service when I am gasping for breath and generally looking like I might need medical attention.  I love it when technology makes us look foolish by being foolish itself, and that is the joy of http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/.  The fouler, the better, as far as I’m concerned.

3.  Social network pages or memes for fictional characters/inanimate objects/pets

This is one of the greatest indications that someone has way too much time on their hands, and I love how they have chosen to use that extra time.  Going to the trouble to create an online profile for someone or something else who does not have the ability to speak for themselves (on account-a they are not real and/or aren’t supposed to talk in the real world) shows creativity and provides hours of entertainment for others (i.e., me).  Pet profiles make me laugh and laugh.  Pets have attitude, y’all.

There is one key exception.  I do not – and I cannot stress this enough – DO NOT enjoy it when people make Facebook profiles for their children.  I am going to discuss this more on my next post (Top Ten Least Favorite Things People Do On the Internet), but suffice it to say that I think speaking for another actual human being, even ones who cannot yet speak for themselves, is weird (the bad kind) and creepy.  I dislike it so much that, if you are a friend who has done this and are now reading about how much I dislike it and are offended by my dislike, I don’t even care.  I am not even sorry.

You know what else I’m not sorry about?  My fond memories of the summer when Magnolia Blossom was born.  If you’re ever bored on Facebook, look her up and say, “Hi.”

2.  Personal attention

I don’t require a lot of personal attention in real life, but on the Internet?  I am an attention whore.  I mean, I don’t *NEED* attention.  I’m not THAT person (and I hope that I don’t come across that way).   But I really, really, really love it.  I keep Facebook up all day at the desk, just so I can go back once every few hours or so and see how many likes or comments my posts have gotten (your student fees at work, UNT).  I love how many people are following me on Pinterest; it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.  You know, the way real affection is supposed to make you feel.  And when people tell me that the video I posted made their day, it makes my day right back.  Instant pay-it-forward.

So if you should feel the need to respond to this post, I wouldn’t mind.  In fact, I would love it.

No pressure, though.  Live your life.

And my number one, most favorite thing that people do on the Internet?

1.  FOOD BLOGS.

I love food blogs.  I love trying new recipes.  I also love reading people’s stories about things that have gone terribly wrong, because they’re humorous, and they make me feel better about things that go terribly wrong in my own kitchen.  Stayed tuned, and in a couple of days, I’ll tell you where I find almost all of the amazing food blogs I read.

Don’t tell me you’re not excited.