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Because I knew this week would be a short week but also a work intensive week (y’all – it took me two hours to alphabetize my CDs last night.  Nothing was in its correct case. Nightmarish.), I did my cooking on Saturday when I just so happened to have people over for brunch.

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The menu (in addition to copious amounts of cheap champagne mixed with various assorted nectars, of course):

1.  Mom’s Sausage Balls

I grew up in Texas, so I have never been to a potluck where there were no sausage balls.  And I can’t remember a moment in my childhood when they weren’t magically hiding in a Ziploc bag in the freezer.  These little glories freeze beautifully, both pre- and post-cooking, but I have yet to make a batch big enough that I felt compelled to freeze them instead of just baking them all and keeping them in the fridge to snack on for a few days.  I don’t do this often, though – I would be the size of a house.  Health food, they are not.

The real beauty of this recipe is that you just can’t mess it up.  You mix three ingredients, roll them into 1-inch balls, and bake them at 350-375 for 20 minutes.

It doesn’t even really seem to matter how much of each ingredient you use.  Mom uses half a pound of sausage, four cups of grated cheddar, and two heaping cups of baking mix (she uses Bisquick but you can also make your own).  I used a whole pound of sausage, a large log of goat cheese (DO IT…SO GOOD!), and three scant cups of baking mix. You can look all over the Internet for recipes, and most of them will have slightly different measurements.  If it sticks together enough to roll into a ball, it will work.

2.  Vegan Mini-Cinnamon Rolls

I originally chose this recipe for its adorableness, but with a few minor tweaks, I was happy to discover that it can also be vegan.  I didn’t think it was possible until I was reading the crescent roll label at the grocery store, trying to figure out just how many pills I would have to take to partake of them.  Zero.  Zero pills.  The original Pillsbury Crescent Roll is lactose-free.  So I did a little digging, because lactose-free dough sometimes means vegan, and although PETA does give the disclaimer at the bottom that it was probably processed in non-vegan ways, it lists the product itself as “accidentally vegan.”  If it passes PETA’s standards, I guess it passes mine (although if I were to go all-out vegan, I would be one of those religious kind of vegans who grinds my own sugar and never eats processed foods, just in case, which – i.e., my commitment to laziness – is at least part of the reason that I have yet to go all-out vegan).  If you are a religious kind of vegan, you can also make your own crescent roll dough pretty easily, although I would totally sub coconut oil for the canola oil, because DELICIOUS.

To veganize the recipe in the link above, you brush the dough with coconut oil instead of butter and use coconut milk instead of regular milk in the glaze.  If you use full-fat coconut milk, it will be so creamy you’ll want to roll around in it.  And I’m using maple syrup in every glaze I ever make from now on, because that was fantastic.

3.  Farmers’ Market Veggie Frittata

Frittata – another thing that’s hard to mess up.  Full disclosure – the only things from the Farmers’ Market I used in this recipe were the tomatoes. The shredded potatoes and spinach were totally frozen.  Organic…but frozen. You can use any vegetable you want, though, and fresh is better for this recipe.

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Take some eggs.  I like to make a lot at a time, particularly if I’m feeding other people, and I own that big ass skillet in the picture, so I use a full dozen. If you are using a smaller-than-twelve-inch-deep-dish skillet, I recommend using fewer eggs.  Then again, I like a frittata where egg is not necessarily the star, so if want more of an egg focus and you use fewer additional ingredients, you can probably get away with a dozen eggs in a smaller skillet.  It just all has to fit when it goes into the oven.
  3. Whisk the eggs and season them generously with salt and pepper and any other seasoning you like (a healthy dash of herbs de Provence medley – marjoram, summer savory, thyme, rosemary, lavender – is nice). Set aside.
  4. Heat a dollop of oil on the skillet and add crushed garlic (two-ish minutes on medium heat). Add whatever vegetables you are using – washed and chopped, of course – to the skillet and toss them around for a little bit (3-4 minutes).
  5. Pour the eggs over the warmed vegetables. Stir gently a couple of times in the first minute, but then let it sit for a few more to set the bottom of the frittata.
  6. Put the skillet in the oven and bake until the frittata sets completely.  Mine usually takes about 15-20 minutes, but the time will vary wildly depending on a number of factors, such as how long you kept it on the stove, how warm the vegetables were when you poured the eggs in the skillet, how crispy you want the edges, etc. Just make sure you keep it in the oven until you can press down on the center without it being wobbly.

And now, a word about adjustments:

I’m only three weeks into the project, and my refrigerator and freezer are bursting with leftovers.  I have shared at least two meals a week with other people.  I even brought Cavatini leftovers to leave in the fridge at work for the summer RAs to have, because I can’t finish them all.  I have so much food it is taking over other people’s refrigerators.

I know.  There are worse problems to have.  But when the novelty of raining leftovers down on all my people wears off (which, if the past is any indication, will happen in about two more weeks), there could be a lot of food that goes to waste if I don’t scale back a bit.

So I’m scaling back by playing it by ear.  I will keep my three main categories – Mom’s recipes, vegan recipes, and farmers’ market recipes – but if Mom’s recipe makes eleventy dozen meals (and a lot of them do – we were a family of four, and she’s also a fan of leftovers), I will either skip one of the other categories that week or combine them.

Also, that bread business?  Let’s scale that back to a couple of loaves every other week, or just when I need it.  Bread takes up a lot of space in my tiny freezer, and I do not eat a loaf a week. Apparently, my planning self thinks that I have a brood of children I’m feeding.  But my freezer begs to differ.

Week 3 – Welcome

This week, in addition to the cooking habit (which I will update tomorrow) and the cleaning habit (which is working far better than I ever imagined it would – YAY!), I will be focusing my deep cleaning and organizing mojo on the entryway.  When I was planning the schedule, I thought, “Oh, the entryway would be the perfect room to work on during my short week.  It doesn’t have a lot of work that needs to be done on it.” When I was taking the before pictures on Saturday, I thought, “I feel cheat-y – this looks pretty good, on account-a I just had people over this morning.”

Then I looked at the pictures again a minute ago, and I do not feel cheat-y anymore.  Even in its relatively-put-to-place state, this area needs a lot of work. This post might get long.

For the purposes of this project, I am considering the entryway to be the door area, the mail table and the shelves beside it, the dining table, and the little area where the table goes when the Christmas tree is up.

First – the shelves –

IMG_0152

The original purpose:

  • to hold movies and CDs
  • to hold the clock/radio/CD player
  • to display adorable coffee/tea/serving pieces that don’t fit in the kitchen

What I want to change:

  • I hate the CDs and movies out on display.  I’m going to move the movies to the TV cabinet (where, according to logic, they should be anyway).  I am also going to scour thrift stores for small CD cases and use the sleeves to alphabetize my CDs in the orange boxes (hidden behind the coffee plaques) so I can get rid of all the hideous jewel cases. I might also have to buy more boxes.
  • I want to find a little shelf to double up and consolidate the espresso cups on one shelf.
  • As the clock radio is my only CD player in the house, it gets to stay, but I’m moving some of the coffee plaques I have elsewhere in the house to hide it.
  • Main goal – create a little more shelf space for various other items taking up space around the apartment so that I have more room for things that don’t fit there.

Next, the entryway table/main area:

IMG_0153 Feel free to bask in the gorgeousness of this table.  I’ll wait.

The original purpose of this area:

  • To organize all the things I tend to drop when I walk in – keys, umbrella (in the orange pail by the door), mail, etc.
  • To store bar glasses (inside the table) and wine (the sadly empty swirly thing in the corner)
  • To sort mail so that it doesn’t become a monster that eats my house

What I want to change:

  • I want to distinguish between inbox and outbox in the mail file.
  • I want to put up some small pictures that I had in my room when I was a little girl in the blank space beside the mirror to un-blah that white space.

The doorway:

IMG_0151 And a close-up:IMG_0154

Instead of original purpose (as it is evident that I didn’t actually have one), I am going to tell you what’s going on here:

  • Towels around the door work as a buffer to keep out hot or cold air (whichever one I’m trying to combat, according to the season), insects, and all the smoke from the neighbors who don’t seem to understand that smoke does not recognize a closed door as something designed to keep it out and thus will just seep right in, particularly when one is smoking directly in front of said door, directly below said door, or really, anywhere within 10 feet of said door. Super-smeller problems.
  • A sad door in a shoddily crafted building next to a site that was under construction (read: shaky ground) for a year and a half.  The door does not really fit the door frame, so the bottom latch and lock only work sporadically (better in the summer than in the winter, for some reason).  When people come in to fix things, I need them to lock the deadbolt when they leave in order to insure that my house stays locked, so I leave them a helpful reminder.
  • Orange dot carpets.  Super cute, but they need to be washed often more often than they get washed.
  • That box is just straight up trash.
  • Crock pot was used, and that’s where the most readily available plug in the house was.  Then it was washed…and it stayed there.

What I want to change:

  • All.  The.  Things.
  • Ultimately, fix the door.  I can fix the deadbolt latch easily enough, but I need to call in the apartment maintenance crew to fix the huge gap under the door. This might not happen by the end of the week, however, because although they have a key and have every right to enter the apartment when I’m not there, they seem to want me to be there when they are working on something, and because I work full-time during the day, this significantly limits our time frame – hence, the problem still being a problem.
  • Until the door is fixed – find a less tacky way to block the breeze.  I have a surplus of towels, and I could probably fashion a prettier solution and then affix it with velcro so that it will stay even when the door is closed from the outside but can also be easily removed and washed.  That’s my current plan.  This will either be a great idea or an amusing story.
  • Wash the orange dots and spread them out.
  • Quit being lazy and take trash out when needed instead of piling it by the door.
  • Move crock pot back to its home.
  • Put up Find and mount the coat rack I have on the wall opposite the door.
  • Find something to do with that rod that’s just hanging out in the corner.

The dining table:

IMG_0150

The original purpose of the area:

  • Place to eat (or serve, when hosting gatherings larger than two)
  • Where the Christmas tree goes when ’tis the season

What I want to change:

  • Not much – I like the placement.  Maybe add fresh flowers to the table.
  • This area tends to draw clutter (observe the unopened Pampered Chef box under the table). Stop that.
  • You can’t see it, but behind the curtain are small pots of dirt with dead herbs in them.  This window gets amazing light and will serve as a great herb windowsill when I decide I want to do that. I want to start collecting pots that fit there.

And finally, the space where the table goes during Christmas:

IMG_0149

It’s a small space, but I promise, the table fits.

What I want to change:

  • Ultimately, move blue chair to bedroom where it belongs.
  • Get a small (read: something that would fit under dining table, as it will have to for about a month out of the year) cabinet to store liquor and cocktail paraphernalia.

Today, tomorrow, and Friday are thrift days.  I will be on the lookout for the cabinet, mini-shelves, velcro, and CD books/sleeves.

Whew.  Tall order for a short week.  It might not all happen, but I hope to make great strides.

 

This week has been pasta-intensive.  It has been amazing, but I feel like I didn’t get anything done except nap.

1. Mom’s Cavatini

This might be my favorite thing that my mom makes.  When I make it, I adjust her recipe by having more pasta and less meat.  I even wrote it at the top of the page where I copied it down, like I would forget:

photo (6)

In recent years, however, I’ve been keeping the pasta about the same and replacing half (or all) of the meat with spinach.

The recipe, as my mother has it written:

  • 2 lbs. ground beef
  • 3/4 c. each of curly, shell, and macaroni noodles
  • 3 tall skinny cans of tomato sauce
  • 1/4 tsp. each – oregano, celery salt, garlic salt, and pepper
  • 1/8 tsp. thyme
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 2 pkgs. mozzarella [that’s 32 oz. of cheese, for those who are wondering]
  • 2 pkgs. pepperoni

Brown meat, onion, and seasonings.  Add tomato sauce and pepperoni. Simmer 5 minutes. Add cooked noodles and simmer 5 more minutes.  Take off stove; add mozzarella; serve.

Upon re-reading the recipe, I noticed other changes I make:

  • I only use one type of pasta, unless what I have on hand happens to be remnants of several different shapes.  But three pastas are not something that I do on purpose, even though I must admit it makes the dish prettier.
  • I use my own homemade spaghetti sauce, which includes onions, pepper, and a whole lot of seasonings, so I exclude the onion and spices from the recipe.

I made cavatini twice (three times if you count the next recipe in the list).  My friend Stephanie came over on Tuesday.  I left out the pepperoni and kept the sauce separate from the pasta, and I left the cheese on the side as well.  So I guess that was build-your-own-cavatini night.  I turned right around and made another batch for the part-time staff Wednesday night at our meeting. This time, I threw it all together as the recipe instructs, because one pot is easier to carry than three.

I also made two loaves of beer bread for staff.  One of them remarked, “I guess this is the closest you’re going to come to buying us alcohol.” Yep. I had just enough bread left over to have the best toast on the planet for breakfast the rest of the workweek.

2. Vegan Cavatini (aka, Pasta Primavera)

Leave in the spinach, add another vegetable or two (I vote yellow squash and orange bell pepper), and leave out all the meat and cheese.  You will have a meal that is healthier but still delicious. Make sure your pasta doesn’t have egg in it, or that won’t be vegan.

3. Farmer’s Market – Roasted Broccoli

Broccoli is not my favorite vegetable. I have always thought it was okay.  Then in 2002 when I started having digestive issues and couldn’t keep much of anything down for months, the smell of broccoli sickened me.  It’s been on my list ever since.

But I found some this week at the market, and since it’s starting to get too hot for it to grow, I thought I’d give it a chance this week.

Chop up the broccoli and a red onion, and roast them in grapeseed oil.  It’s so good, it might redeem broccoli for me.

 

So that’s the week in food!

Big Mike’s Coffee Shop is great.  It’s located right across the street from UNT campus in the same location and under the same ownership as Voyager’s Dream (before The Man ruined Fry Street…but that’s another story for another time). Their website lists my three favorite things about Big Mike’s – independent, local, and fair trade. They are also ecologically minded.  They save their coffee grounds and give them to local gardeners for their compost piles. I also like how they take care of the students.  They used to be a 24-hour shop, but now they are closed from midnight to 6:00 a.m. most days.  However, during dead week and finals week, they reinstated their around-the-clock hours to support the students cramming during the wee hours of the morning. And on graduation day, they offered anything on their menu at half off for graduates who came in their caps and gowns.

Also – there are signs like this:

photo (4)

(I swear I waited to take the picture until after I had ordered.)

Sounds like this would be my favorite shop in the world, doesn’t it?  So why haven’t you heard about it before now?

Confession:  I only go to Big Mike’s in the summer.

  1. Yes, they take care of students.  But so do I.  I take care of students 40+ hours a week.  So I don’t really feel the need to go hang out with students after work.
  2. Summer, early morning, and Sundays are the only times I can find parking anywhere near the shop.  Could I walk there?  Sure.  Am I likely to do so?  Lol…no.
  3. The atmosphere in summer is really laid back.  In fact, all of Denton is more laid back in the summer, because many of the students go home.  And because many of the students go home, it’s even more important in the summer to support the local shops that I want to see stay in business, particularly the shops whose clientele is predominantly students.

Summer at Big Mike’s is great.  I can walk in, order, sit at a table and stare into space, and no one thinks anything of it (or if they do, they keep it to themselves).  The baristas don’t try to rope you into small talk while making your drink.  If they talk at all, it’s to say something that’s actually interesting.  I have never been forced to talk about the weather in Big Mike’s.

I realize that this might be a point against them for extroverts or normal people or people who are uncomfortable with silence or people who have narrow views of what constitutes good customer service.  But for introverts, Big Mike’s in the summer is like Mecca.

My typical order at Big Mike’s when I’m not going to stay for long is a macchiato.

photo (5)

Little shot of espresso marked with foam.  And their espresso is gooooood. Sometimes, I even order them when I am going to stay for a while, but then I end up getting four of them, and that’s a terrible idea.

For a while, they had hazelnut milk, but I’m not sure they offer it anymore.  I could get a hazelnut latte made with hazelnut milk. Glorious. That was my go-to drink when I would make a coffee run for Maggie and me before HOST meetings.  Good times.

So if you’re in Denton in the summer (maybe you’re at a conference at UNT), don’t drive all the way to Starbucks just because it’s what you know.  Go to Big Mike’s.

 

If you would like to contribute to the Coffee Shop Road Trip, you can follow that link to the original post for guidelines.  The original deadline has been extended. The new deadline is forever.  I am having so much fun, I will forever take posts on this subject.

It’s summer here.  Translation: I’m a walking sweat factory.

Or, as I prefer to think of it, “My thighs are so sexy, they can’t stop touching each other.”

My tendency in summer seems a little counter-intuitive to me.  I feel gross and sweaty and hot (temperature-wise, not rawr-wise) and uncomfortable most of the summer (which in Texas is basically May through September). But summer is when I most want to dress up or engage in traditional beauty regimens. I wear jewelry more often.  I give myself regular pedicures and paint my toenails.  I am more likely to style my hair.  I wear lipstick.

photo (3)I steal hair clips.  Oops.

I also – inexplicably – find myself more likely to exercise.  One might imagine that I would want to sit in front of a fan and do nothing, but no.  I do more Pilates.  I dance around the house more.  I am more likely to go to the gym.

I am also more likely to take on summer projects, like my Getting It Together series.  Apparently, it’s not enough that I discover my own beauty.  I need to surround myself with it.  This will be fun.

One thing that does make sense to me is that I tend to eat better.  I tend to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables – particularly if they can be eaten cold – and I eat less heavy food. I often lose weight in summer, not because I’m particularly trying to do so, but because I’m taking in healthier things and drinking more water.

I think the slower work schedule of summer slows me down enough that I remember to take care of myself.  Maybe that’s what all these seasonal habits tend to be.  I’m not running in three or four different directions at once.  I can take a break.

And taking a break is beautiful.

Join us at Amy Young’s Trusting Tuesdays to read how others are doing with their OneWord365 and add a post of your own!

Budgeting.

Ugh.

I hate budgeting.

But it must be done.

I will say from the top that I don’t need anything else in the apartment.  I do not need anything to complete this project.  In fact, I could get rid of a whole lot of things and still have everything I need to make the apartment clean and organized.

I could just wash my hands of this whole budgeting issue by making “buy nothing” one of the rules. The only problem is that, having met me, I know that I would break this rule, and without guidelines, I would break it hard, because I really love buying things.

I won’t know everything I want for each space until I am spending the week focusing on it, but here’s a small dose of what I have been pondering:

Entryway (includes all the odd space between the door and the living area):

  • Divider shelf to make a stacked display of the espresso cups
  • Small cabinet for liquor storage/bar paraphernalia (hello, garage sales, because I am not paying retail)
  • Books for CDs so I can get rid of all those hideous jewel cases

Living room and writing nook:

  • Sheets, inexpensive fabric – something to make curtains out of that 1) is not sheer and 3) matches or can be dyed to match (ish – doesn’t have to be exact)
  • Possibly dye

Kitchen:

  • Storage containers – leaning toward mason jars for most things but will need larger ones for multiple flours
  • Small shelves to maximize space in all the cabinets
  • Wooden slats to fix bottom drawer of chest of drawers and perhaps make slats for bakeware
  • Barring the ability to find inexpensive shelving, spice jars that will stack
  • Add to my Simple Additions collection (Pampered Chef plates, bowls, etc. – also, I’m a consultant, so if you see something you like, I can hook you up. /shameless plug)

Bedroom:

  • Under-the-bed storage
  • Storage chest for end of bed
  • Material to make curtains (or just buying curtains) for east window
  • Materials to make headboard

Bathroom:

  • Silver accessories – soap dispenser, trash can, etc.
  • Plum linens – six bath towels, two hand towels, shower curtain, bath mat(s)

That’s a long list already for a home that doesn’t really need anything.

This week, I am going to start pricing things and scouring garage sales and thrift stores.  Because here’s the kicker – I’m going to give myself a $300 limit.  For the whole summer.  And I’m anxious about even setting aside that much, because I really do not need anything at all.

I can buy almost everything secondhand on my list or make it myself.  I imagine the bulk of the money will be spent on the bathroom (because secondhand towels give me the icks), so I’m saving $150 for it (I have some coupons). That means that the other four areas have to average $35 apiece, with a $10 cushion.  I will have to be careful.  Because I have four huge windows in the living room/writing nook, and finding curtains for all four that either match or at least fit together in an artsy but not college-student-living-on-ramen kind of way for less than $35 is going to take a miracle (or a really fantastic estate sale).

When it comes to spending money on my apartment this summer, I will remember two things:

  1. I will not consider the week a failure if I can’t find items that fit into my budget by the end of the week that the room is supposed to be “done.”  I will remember that the whole point of this project is that making a home is an on-going, ever-changing, organic process.  It is unreasonable to expect that it will be My Ultimate Living Environment by the end of the summer.
  2. Even though the work is going to be divided into areas, the shopping doesn’t have to be.  If I find inexpensive storage or great towels this week, I’m going to go ahead and buy them.  Particularly if they are on sale.

Tuesday and Thursday afternoons are going to be thrift afternoons, but I reserve the right to shop whenever I feel like it.  Also, garage sales happen on Saturdays, so that’s when I’ll be doing that.  I will also be scouring Denton’s Freecycle list more carefully (meaning, I’ll actually read the email instead of saying, “Ack! No!  No more stuff!” and deleting it without opening it).  And SCRAP just became my favorite store of the summer, because the next two Fridays are fabric sales, and I might find jars there that will serve my spice storage needs. I am actively planning to make out like a bandit.

Today marks the end of Week One (Keep) of my Getting It Together summer project.

The Food:

The three planned recipes for the week were Mom’s chicken salad, black bean and pepper fajitas (vegan), and ratatouille (farmers’ market).  Two of the three actually happened.

Until very recently, I didn’t have a chicken salad recipe, because until very recently, I hated mayonnaise. That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore.  Apparently.  My brand new favorite way to make chicken salad is with rotisserie chicken – which is 1) almost as inexpensive, 2) far less disgusting, and 3) way less work than roasting my own – with grapes, apples, dried cranberries, celery, pepper, and two parts mayo to one part mustard.

For the vegans in the audience, this recipe is also delicious if you sub Vegenaise  for the mayo and chopped up Chik’n nuggets (I think they’re made by Boca?) for the chicken. This also makes the expensive faux chicken nuggets go further, which makes my bank account happy.

The chicken salad that I grew up eating, however, is simpler.  For my mom’s recipe, I used one chicken breast (baked and chopped into pieces), two boiled eggs, one half cup of mayo, and a couple of spoonfuls of mustard.  Mom usually seasons with just salt and pepper, but I added a little parsley, basil, and oregano. It’s not the healthiest meal, but I got five sandwiches out of it, making it one of the least expensive meals I’ve had in a while.  Throw a few carrot sticks or an apple on the side, and you have a nice lunch.

The vegan  recipe I managed was black bean and pepper fajitas. In a skillet, I sauteed some onions and garlic.  Then I added cumin, roasted red peppers, and black beans.  I let it all cook together for a while (about 15 minutes on medium low).  Then I spooned the mixture into some tortillas, spritzed it with lime juice, and that was it.  It could not have been easier. It was good the first time, but the leftovers – after everything had hung out and marinated in the fridge overnight – were amazing.

The ratatouille will have to wait for a week when I actually make it to the farmers’ market.  Turns out, it’s hard to get inspired by the farmers’ market when you don’t go.  Ahem.

I totally forgot about making bread.  I almost threw together some beer bread today, just so I could say that I made bread this week. But the plan was to make baguettes to go with the ratatouille…and neither of those things happened. I bought a day-old (i.e., half-price) loaf of sourdough at Ravelin.  That’s…not even close to the same thing, but at least I didn’t pay full price?

The Home:

I called this week Keep because “maintain” sounds so boring.  Maintaining is going about my workaday life, just slugging along.  It reeks of stagnation. Keep, on the other hand, sounds more nurturing.  I’m keeping a home.  I’m keeping my space livable.

photo (3) My cute coffee nook

You might be thinking, “What does it matter what you call it?  Just do it.” But that’s what I learned this week – it matters to me.  In fact, how I view this habit might just be the primary determinant of whether I keep doing it after summer’s over or go back to the way things have been.

Some things I learned this week:

  • Fifteen minutes hardly feels like any time at all.  I was surprised by how quickly it went by every day. The daily fifteen minutes in the kitchen was usually over by the time supper had finished cooking, so that didn’t seem like a big deal either.
  • I can do a lot in fifteen minutes.  I wanted to see if such a small amount of time would make any difference, and I also wanted to avoid getting burned out on my first week, so I stuck to the time limit pretty rigidly for this first round.  After only a quarter of an hour in every major area in the apartment, it looks ten times better than it did last week. I definitely cleaned up more than I messed up.
  • I don’t feel like I’ve spent any time cleaning this week.  This is the big one.  I am very protective of my schedule. If something seems like it’s going to take a lot of time, particularly long-term, I’m unlikely to stick to it. This even translates to people. The first sign that I’m really into a guy? When I don’t mind that he takes up a lot of my free time. So it’s important for a new habit to fit easily into the schedule without upsetting my daily flow.
  • In reality, I have spent a lot of time cleaning this week.  I have spent a collective three hours cleaning and organizing, which is about two and a half hours more than I usually spend.  But dividing the time up in a day-to-day process takes away the feeling that it’s some grand imposition, and that’s going to be what makes this new habit stick.

Overall, I am pleased with the week.  Now onto Week Two.

Wednesday, I went to visit The Book Carriage in Roanoke, Texas.  This is one of my favorite small bookstores.  It is located on Oak Street, which is a great place to spend the day.  There are restaurants and thrift stores and kitsch stores.  Also, there is a shop that has delicious pie.

But I digress.

The Book Carriage has a local authors section, and they will order me anything I want if they don’t have it in stock.

Also, they’re just really cute:

photo

I love The Book Carriage.

One of the things I look forward to is having a cup of coffee while I shop.  Their in-house coffee bar serves basic espresso drinks. They have a La Marzocco espresso machine (or La Mar, as I like to call it).  There’s a picture of it on their website (go ahead and look.  I’ll wait). It’s a work of art.  It also makes a damn fine cup of espresso.  I make flirty eyes with it every time I go in.  I’ve even invited it to come home with me, but so far, it has ignored my advances.

Wednesday, I made the short drive to Roanoke to visit The Book Carriage and Coffee Shop. I really needed a cup of coffee.  I had been at work all day, and then I drove to Roanoke in early rush hour traffic.  People are dumb, especially on two-lane roads. But it was all going to be worth it when I arrived and ordered my Americano with a dash of caramel syrup.

Alas, it was not meant to be.

I walked in, and I heard someone greet me from the second floor.

“Hello!  How can I help you?”

“I’m fine – I’m just looking.”

“Okay, then.  Let us know if you need anything!”

I started toward the coffee bar, and then I stopped, paralyzed with disbelief.

It wasn’t open.

There were no pastries in the pastry box.  The lights were out behind the bar.  La Mar was there, but it was quiet and still.

I felt a little lightheaded as I stumbled toward the books to look around.  As the shock subsided, I came to terms with the fact that I was not going to get my Americano that afternoon. I picked up several books off the shelf and read their covers, but my heart wasn’t in it.  I had lost the will to browse.  I found Molly Wizenberg’s A Homemade Life because I had just finished it, and I loved it, and I needed to hold something I loved.  So I clutched it to my heart and made my way to the checkout table.

You might be thinking, “Why didn’t you ask about the coffee bar?” And I thought about asking.  I did.  But then I decided against it, because I wasn’t sure I could be trusted to respond in a calm and rational manner if they told me the unthinkable – that the coffee bar was closed permanently.  I might have actually cried in the store.  That might seem like an overreaction to you, but you just don’t understand how much I love (and desperately needed) this coffee.

I have had a couple of days to calm down, so today I made the call.

“Hi, this is The Book Carriage.  How may I help you?”

“I was wondering if your coffee shop was open the same hours as the rest of the store.”

(See how I did that?  Calm.  Simple.  Not “I WENT THERE AND YOU FAILED TO GIVE ME COFFEE! WHY DO YOU HATE ME AND ALL GOOD THINGS?!??!?!”  So it’s good that I waited.)

“We no longer have a coffee shop in house.”

“Oh.  Okay.  Well, thank you.”

Even two days later, this made me tear up.

It’s not that I can’t get good coffee elsewhere.  I have a perfectly delicious cup of coffee sitting in front of me right now.

It’s just that…I feel like I failed them.  I didn’t go there often enough or send enough people their way, and now they’re closed.  I don’ t even know if lack of patronage was why they closed, so my guilt might be misguided.  Perhaps the people who ran it came into a lot of money and decided to travel the world rather than run a coffee shop.  I hope something like that happened.

But I suppose that’s not very likely.  The good coffee on Oak Street is gone.

Support your local shops.  They don’t have the backing of a corporation.  They’re all on their own.  If we love them, we have to make sure they stay in business.  We can help by frequenting the shop and hooking them up with a little free advertising.

I know that I alone cannot save a shop.  But I have a Facebook.  I have a Twitter.  If I have a good experience with a coffee shop (or bookstore…or restaurant…etc.), I can show how adorable it is on Instagram.  I can blog about it. And then maybe more people will go and have a good experience, and they will tell their friends.

At some point this summer, I will take a morning or afternoon off work and go scouting for new coffee in the Roanoke/Argyle vicinity.  I know there are some great places in Keller and Southlake, but if I can find one closer to my bookstore, that would be ideal. I am also keeping an eye out for an email from The Book Carriage just in case they decide to auction La Mar off for charity or something. La Mar would look gorgeous in my kitchen.  That would take a little of the sting out of it.

But right now, I am sad.

Badger

I loved this boy once.

We were close.  And we both knew that the love between us was uneven.  We both knew that I loved him more than he loved me. We knew that one day this would bite us. But it seemed a shame to cut ties and run – to ruin everything over my silly little broken heart.

When he started spending less time with me and more time with the woman who would become his wife, I didn’t handle it graciously.

Heh.  That’s putting it mildly.

I acted like a lunatic.

I was angry and scared, because I realized that I had this whole life planned that wasn’t going to happen. I understood how badgers feel when they get caught in a trap, and they know they’re never getting out alive, but they refuse to lie still and die.  They fight it until they’re dead.

So I fought.  I pleaded. I argued. I was manipulative and vicious. I refused to be her friend (even though she’s a perfectly nice person), and I refused to listen to anyone who tried to smooth things over (even though they were only trying to help).

I wrote a multiple-page letter detailing why he would be better off with me.

For the first time in my life, I was proud of something I had written, and not because someone else told me that it was good.  There were no pretty bows to tie up the loose ends. No healthy conclusion reached, no lesson learned, no silver lining on the rain cloud. It was just opening a vein and bleeding on the pages.

For the first time in my life, I did not betray myself in order to keep the peace.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a writer.

And when he read my letter – the very soul of me, poured out in ink and tears – and put steel in his gaze as he responded simply, “No,” I asked to have it back.

The letter – and the heart it represented – didn’t belong to him anymore.

There are very few moments in my life that I can point to and say, “That one – that’s the moment it happened,” but that curt “No,” is one of them.  In that moment, the boy who saw me more clearly than anyone had ever seen me before lost his right to do so.

Part of me wishes that I could go back in time and handle things differently.  I would be calmer and more reasonable.  I would behave sensibly, with wisdom beyond my years. I would bear the torture of not being chosen with dignity. I would protect the mutual part of the love between us that was our friendship. Of course, this part of me, knowing the boy wouldn’t really love me back, would be too petrified of falling in love with him to get close enough to have that amazing friendship in the first place.  I would advise others against acting like a lunatic.

Part of me is sorry.

Another part of me, however, understands the badger.  The badger wanted what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to say so. The badger fought, because she had a right to be happy. The badger argued, because she could not fathom how anyone graced with her love could possibly turn it down.  The badger is actually grateful to the boy for standing up for what he wanted and for the cruel way he did it – for that shining moment of asshattery that made everything so clear.  But being grateful doesn’t mean that the badger can abide such foolishness.

Another part of me is the badger, and the badger’s not sorry.

Because she got free.

And she got out alive.

(This was an aftermath of a Story Sessions Write-In.  You should join us.)

Now that I’ve established why I’ve taken on this project, now here’s the how.

The taquitos, sandwich fixins, and cereal made it into the grocery cart on purpose.  I like them.  They are delicious and convenient, and making them doesn’t heat up the whole house.  As much as I would love for every meal to be a slow food treasure, I have two jobs and two manuscripts to finish by the end of the year.  So for me, a stash of emergency taquitos in the freezer is a vital part of a workable meal plan.

I just don’t want it to be the only plan.

This summer, getting it together means eating well and eating healthier without breaking the bank.  Specifically, it looks like this:

1. Baking two loaves of bread a week – one to eat and one to share or freeze.

2. Making at least three big (i.e., at least two servings of leftovers) meals a week:

  • One meal from my childhood – a little shout-out to Mom
  • One meal inspired by what I find that week at the farmers’ market
  • One meal that’s vegan (because I have not forgotten you, New Year’s Resolution)

Each week, I will post what I make and share a few recipes with you.

Getting it together also means getting my apartment in order.  With the help of Apartment Therapy (both the book and the website) and Unstuff Your Life, and of course, my mother, who is the loudest of the voices in my head, I have divided the process into twelve weeks.

This week, I will be initiating the daily maintenance schedule that I will continue throughout the twelve weeks (and hopefully forevermore). The schedule requires a mere 30 minutes a day, which is about 25 more per day than I currently average in a week.  The first fifteen minutes will focus on a specific area of the apartment, and the last fifteen minutes will be spent cleaning the kitchen.  The schedule is as follows:

  • Monday – entryway
  • Tuesday – living room
  • Wednesday – writing nook
  • Thursday – bathroom
  • Friday – kitchen (the whole 30 minutes)
  • Saturday – bedroom
  • Sunday – wherever needed

The majority of the remaining weeks will be spent deep-cleaning and organizing a specific area of the apartment:

  • Week 2 – The B Word – Budgeting for the project
  • Week 3 – Welcome – the entryway and kitchen table
  • Week 4 – Sustain – the kitchen
  • Week 5 – Entertain – the living room
  • Week 6 – Create – the writing nook
  • Week 7 – Wash- the bathroom
  • Week 8 – Stash – laundry closet and craft storage
  • Week 9 – Adorn – bedroom closet
  • Week 10 – Rest – bedroom
  • Week 11 – Reflect – review project and look ahead
  • Week 12 – Celebrate – party!

Every Sunday, I will post a list of specific goals for the week and maybe – MAYBE – a before picture. By the end of the week, I will post a progress report.

Like I said on Sunday, I am not my mother. She doesn’t bake her own bread, and I don’t grow my own vegetables.  I’m also lactose-intolerant and eat less meat than my parents do, so I reserve the right to adjust her recipes to fit my needs and tastes. And until I can afford to hire a full-time housekeeper (which, for the record, is one of the first things I’m doing if I should ever become inexplicably and grotesquely wealthy), my kitchen floor will probably never stay clean enough for anyone to eat off it.

And I’m okay with that.

But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t want to be more like my mother.  I enjoyed living in a clean house, and I enjoyed the homey atmosphere created by the smell of a home-cooked meal.  I want my life to be more like that, and this summer I am going to make it so.