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What day even is it? Is this a real Friday? Am I real?

Between starting to talk about how we are going to make the switch between my now-job and my new-job and having two days off in the middle of the week to focus on writing, this week has been an exercise in transition and exception. But it’s been a good one (I think? I’m pretty sure it’s been OK overall. I’m gonna need people to stop shooting into crowds, though, and I’m gonna need changes to the system that would make these rampant shootings less likely. You know, per usual.). We did get free food at work yesterday, and I have had a lot of cherries (cherries are really good right now), so there’s that.

Also, I’ve been reading some things I really enjoyed. Here are some things you might enjoy, too.

  • Breath by James Nestor – This was a fascinating subject. It was a little lighter on the science than I expected, but it was a good read anyway. The author outlined how the way we breathe (as a species) has altered our skeletal structure and may be a big part of the reason so many have respiratory issues. There are also some excellent breathing exercises at the end of the book and even if I’d hated the rest of it, it would have been worth the read for those. 
  • The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie – As expected, a solid introduction to the Poirot character. I forgot how much I like her writing. The ending was predictable, so there was room to grow from her first book in this series, and I’m excited to see how it progresses as I read through the series.
  • “Don’t ask me if I’m free” – I feel this in my bones. I mean, I wouldn’t leave Mom to fend for herself after surgery just so I could brunch with Beyoncé (or any celebrity, to be clear). But otherwise, yes. 
  • Rivermouth by Alejandra Oliva – A memoir from an immigration activist about helping people at the border and a masterpiece on sitting in the various tensions of this issue. My favorite parts of the book were the parts in Spanish that she didn’t translate, the effect of which was to illustrate the frustration of navigating in a language in which I understand the overall gist but am not anywhere close to fluent. Highly recommend – 4.5 stars.
  • This essay on book club fails is a wild ride (well, a book-nerdy wild ride, which admittedly is probably closer to a somewhat spirited saunter for most people). I feel like the writer makes some valid points but also has some expectations that exemplify the rigidity that is often responsible for sending a well-intentioned book club into an early grave. Book clubs, like all social endeavors, have to be able to breathe a little. Yes, the discussion is better if people show up and have read the book. But if you want to build a lasting book club, people have to be able to miss or not finish the book occasionally without it being considered a failure, especially the first few years you are meeting (and I would argue even after that). At my book club that has been meeting the longest, we get excited if most of us have even started the book, and if only a couple of us have finished it, we still talk about other books and enjoy each other’s company (and omg the food – Brenda and our book club can put out quite a spread). And I get the frustration of going to the trouble to make something a priority and putting in the effort to plan one’s own work/life schedule around it only to have the time changed at the last minute. I second that emotion hard.  But even if you do have a regular time when the book club meets every month…sometimes things come up. If the host or most of the members can’t make the regularly scheduled time, it makes sense to be flexible. Talking about books is always ultimately worth whatever effort it takes to make it happen. 

I’m happy the weekend is almost here. I’m spending most of Saturday reading and cleaning and hanging with some people I haven’t seen in a while that night. On Sunday, I get to book club with Follow the Reader, so that will be fun. I hope you have a good weekend, too!

Writing Retreat

Armed with some heavy-duty caffeination, I have used this little holiday break to give myself a writing retreat. I wrote about the overall plan last week on Substack, and it has been pretty great. I am happy to have discovered that churning out content at my copywriting job on a regular basis has made me a more efficient writer and a more decisive editor. The goals I expected to take me two days were finished yesterday.

Specifically, I wanted to get the first chapter of Fishbowl ready to submit to the Page One Prize by next Friday. I am going to read over the edits I made yesterday after this post, but I am pleased with it. I have overhauled this story a lot in the last couple of years, and while there is still work to be done, I like it even better than I did when I first started it so long ago.

My second goal was to complete Andi Cumbo’s Smash the Myths course. I always get so much out of Andi’s gentle advice, and there was a lot in that course I needed to hear. As a result, I’m revamping a few long-term goals and looking at realistic (rather than the idealistic I tend toward) steps to take to get there.

Today, I’m splitting my extra time between reading some of the things on my TBR for the month and working through some prompts from Lisa Carver’s How To Not Write, on loan from Sarah. Highly recommend if you are in a rut and need something to shake you free. What I like most about it is that the prompts can be used for any kind of creative endeavor, not just writing. One of them had me playing some ragtime on the keyboard earlier.

I want to carve out more workdays like this. I forgot how useful they are. I feel productive but also relaxed and refreshed. I’m more excited about writing than I have been in a while. I don’t typically wait around on excitement or motivation to do the work of writing, but I’m so happy when it shows up.

July 2023 TBR

Welcome to July! I have a writing retreat (more on the specifics tomorrow) and a reading retreat this month, and I start my new job..soon-ish? Other than my regularly scheduled festivities, those are the things I’m looking forward to the most. I think *knocks on wood* that my schedule is easier this month outside of work (which is good, because it is absolutely nuts at work), so I should have a lot of reading time. 

Book Clubs

MMD

TBR/Collection

Dewey’s Reverse Readathon is scheduled for July 21-22, so I will probably have some time to finish up a few things I’ve started in the past couple of months but have not finished.

That should keep me busy! I hope you have a great July.

June has been a pretty good month, all things considered. I mean, weather and legislation are gross, because Texas. And my dad had to put our dog Lola down, so I’m pretty sad about that. But despite a few storms, rainbows abound (feel free to interpret that in as many possible ways as you can). 

Here is this month’s update on my home theme. Enjoy!

  • I enjoyed this piece by Sarah E. Westfall on The Exhaustion of Stuff – “A home is more than a place to put our things. A home shapes us. It is where we are formed in relationship and, in an ideal setting, feel safe and supported. But when the Stuff™ that surrounds us is excessive or lacks meaning or breeds chaos, those same qualities begin to manifest themselves within us.” Sometimes, I am nostalgic about belongings and keep them even when they’re cluttery because I have feelings about getting rid of them (not all of these feelings are joy. Just…feelings). However, I am currently in a “pitchy” phase – I’m cleaning out closets and being rather ruthless in what I get rid of. It feels so good. I got a take back bag from For Days, and I am having absolutely no problem filling it. I expect it will be ready to send back in about a week. Happy.
  • One group of items that I have a hard time getting rid of is all those shoes. I love shoes. I love having a lot of choices, even though I typically wear only the same three or four pair. I’ve bravely put some of them in the giveaway pile, but for the rest, I am looking into better storage options so that they don’t just sit in a heap in the closet floor. 
  • I love this kind, stellar advice (as usual) from Ask Polly. Part of what I’m embracing about being at home with myself this year – with great enthusiasm and joy – is unlearning the urge to monetize everything I enjoy. To become the fucking weirdo who is really good at things she’s not trying to capitalize on
  • The flip side, of course, is that I hope to someday capitalize a little more on what I enjoy doing the most so it can be the thing I do full-time. The older I get, the more creativity is fundamental to my core and my happiness. I’m looking forward to some intensive creative time this weekend and part of next week. Specifically, I am doing my first DIY writing retreat of the year next Monday night through Wednesday night (ish), so I’m finishing up preparations for it this weekend. I have two main goals for this session – to edit and submit the first chapter of either “Fishbowl” or “November” to the Gutsy Great Novelist Page One Prize and to finish Andi Cumbo’s Smash the Myths course.
  • Finally, I am happy to announce that I have been offered the position of Coordinator for Housing Services! I expect it to be a smooth transition, as I’ll be working with the same team I’m currently on, just with different responsibilities that are more in line with my strengths. Also, I will be moving into one of the offices (and thus out of the reception area yay), so I am spending a lot of free time building my dark academia Pinterest board with decorating ideas. Looking to build a cozy, welcoming space but also make it a reflection of my personal style as much as possible.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Inspired by Joy the Baker, I have been making summer bucket lists for a few years. Summer is my least favorite season, which can feel isolating when it seems like it’s everyone else’s favorite. Sometimes I even trick myself into thinking this year will be different. My April and May self will see all the fun events planned for June and get excited. But when summer actually hits, I want to just curl up in a blanket and binge-watch something familiar (I’m currently rewatching Lucifer and Merlin). 

I suspect I have a little SAD going on, as this time of the year seems to be when I most need to ramp up good mental health habits. So the summer bucket list is partly self-care and partly a reminder that there’s something to look forward to.

  • Experiment with making summertime treats. Specifically, I have been obsessed with icebox pies lately. Some of them are recipes on their own; some are ice cream recipes I just freeze in a pie crust. I’ve got a long list to test and see which ones are my favorites, but here are a few to give you an idea of how delicious I intend my summer to be:
    • Coffee
    • Lemonade (also trying one with limeade)
    • Cherry (and blueberry and peach, etc.) cheesecake 
    • Maple whiskey
    • Banana cream
    • Tres leches
  • Have a two-day writing retreat at home. I am planning for this to be July 4 and 5, but I haven’t decided which project(s) I’m working on yet. I do know that I want to introduce the paid subscriber portion of my Substack by the end of the year, so I do need to edit some pieces to get them ready for the paying public. More on all of this later.
  • Have at least one reading retreat at home. If nothing else, I’ll be participating in Dewey’s Reverse readathon in July, but I’m open to more decadent reading days/weekends.
  • Take a mid-year financial health assessment – not necessarily for the blog (although I may post highlights) but just for my information. I feel like I’ve made considerable progress, but I want to actually crunch the numbers. 
  • Look for joy or luck or magic and document it (journal, Instagram, etc.). Take the lessons I’ve learned from past years’ themes and apply them. 

A medium-to-big life change is coming up soon, and I want to leave space for it. But I also don’t want to forget to take care of myself this summer so that I can keep overwhelm at a minimum.

Do you have any exciting summer plans?

This week has been busy, work-wise. I had an interview for a new position in our office, and I think it went OK. So we’ll see! 

As far as reading goes, I’ve been basking in some super sweet meet-cutes this week. This is one of my favorite summer/comfort genres. I’ve listed one of the ones I finished below (others coming up in reading challenge updates), and I am looking forward to basking in more of them during the long weekend.

Here are some recent notables I wanted to share. Enjoy!

  • I love this reflection from Andi Cumbo – Writing Lessons from a Lawn Care Channel. I love laundry for the same reasons. And I concur with Andi –  that channel is really satisfying.
  • That Summer Feeling by Bridget Morrissey was a great summer read. If you’ve ever fantasized about going to an adult sleepaway camp, this might be right up your alley. Of course, you know what will happen pretty early on, but that doesn’t make it less fun. And there are some really wonderful relationship moments – familial, platonic, and romantic – that tug on all the heartstrings. Stayed up late to finish it – no regrets.
  • Getting Word is one of my favorite literary projects, and their annual fundraiser starts Monday. Check them out and donate if you are so inclined.
  • I haven’t solidified my summer bucket list yet, but I have a sneaking suspicion that icebox pies and other no-bake desserts are going to take up a lot of space on it. I am currently finishing a coffee/Kahlua pie (which is really just Nigella Lawson’s no-churn ice cream in a chocolate cookie crust). After the lemon pie that I’m making this weekend, I expect that this no-bake tres leches will be on deck.
  • Cleverly cautious – a classic horse trait. “CAN IT EAT US ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION JULIA.” Shout-out to Jessica who shared this with the office this morning. It made me laugh and laugh. 

I hope you all have a good weekend!

Summertime is not my favorite for several reasons, but there is a perk:

More free time + higher temperatures outside = more reading inside. 

Summer (June in particular) is one of the main seasons when I clock more reading hours (and get rewarded for them through our library’s summer reading challenge!) than usual. I was nervous about raising my reading goal this year from 150 to 180, but I’m three books ahead of schedule, so it seems it was a reasonable goal to set. It’s at least having the intended effect of ensuring that I’m taking the downtime that I need, which is the most important thing.

As the summer progresses, a lot of the books I read will be chronicled in the post I write for all the books on the Modern Mrs. Darcy Minimalist Summer Reading Guide, and I will still be working on my Alphabet and Girlxoxo challenges. But that leaves a lot of others that don’t fit into the spaces left in those three categories.

So this is a Friday More-Than-Five. Friday Five-Adjacent. Friday Five-ish, if you will. 

Anyway, here’s what I thought of the books I’ve read since my last update.

  • Laziness Does Not Exist by Dr. Devon Price – This fantastic book outlines the ways that we overwork ourselves and refuse to rest and, instead of being properly horrified by our actions (and the economic system and cultural climate that inspire them), either wear them as some weird badge of honor as if there is somehow glory in being exhausted all the time or completely ignore reality and call ourselves lazy because we’re not doing even more than we already are. There was a lot in here that I needed to hear, and Dr. Price presented it clearly and graciously and backed it up with a ton of research. Triple win for me.
  • The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green – John Green is a gem of a human being, so I am not surprised that I liked this book, in which he talks about several people/events/phenomena/products/etc., and rates them on a scale of 1-5. Apparently, he also has a podcast by the same name, which one might argue is very similar to the audiobook – read by the author – that I just listened to. I would like to say I’ll now listen to the podcast faithfully, but knowing my propensity to give my attention to just about any other type of media before I listen to a podcast, I’m not going to promise that. However, I do give John Green’s delightful book 4.5 stars.
  • Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner – I loved this book. It was a hard read, as it deals with her mother’s illness and death, but as tributes go, it’s amazing. This was a beautiful way to honor her memory. I highly recommend listening to Japanese Breakfast while you read it.
  • The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz – This one started a little slow and whiny (on purpose – the main character/narrator is pretty navel-gazey), but when it did pick up – whew! I sort of suspected the ending but it was still interesting to see it play out. 
  • Resistance by Tori Amos – Tori Amos was a fundamental part of my coming-of-age experience, so I was excited to listen to her read her memoir about what was happening on the other side of the songs that accompanied some of my most formative years. I loved this book. My only complaint is that she recited rather than sang the lyrics that graced each chapter. But they’re beautiful as poetry, too, I guess.
  • Animals Eat Each Other by Elle Nash – If you want to know how to do polyamory wrong, this is a good example. It was a well-written (Nash’s scene descriptions are especially poignant) account of rampant confusion resulting from poor communication and (in my view) unfounded jealousy. I feel protective of the main character, though. She’s just trying to figure things out, and while she makes mistakes, she is treated with an unnecessary amount of harshness. It’s a good book, but I’m glad it was short. It was very stressful.
  • The Beauty of the Husband by Anne Carson – I love Anne Carson, and this is a lovely book. I especially liked the structure of it – a story of the disintegration of a marriage told in small, lyrical essays. I can see myself reading this one again someday.

I hope you have a good day and a fun weekend with all the time to read you want!

June 2023 TBR

Hello to June! The weather is pretending it’s going to be a mild summer (for now – I’ll not be lulled into a false sense of security this year, Texas June!), and it’s Pride Month, and I bought cherries this week, and my first snow cone of the year is in my near future. Happy!

Also, Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Guide is out! The full guide is for Patreon or MMD Book Club members, but you can get the minimalist guide (her team’s favorites and my starting point for the yearly challenge) on the website.

Here are most of the books on my radar this month.

Book Clubs

TBR

  • Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld – This recommendation has come from so many places, so it was no surprise that it was on MMD’s minimalist list. Excited to tuck into it! 
  • Something Wild & Wonderful by Anita Kelly – This is exactly how I like to experience hiking the most – sitting on my couch or at my desk in the air conditioning, reading about others’ zany misadventures. This title is also my Girlxoxo read for the month (keyword “wild”). 
  • No Two Persons by Erin Bauermeister – A story about how a book changes the lives of 11 people. Anything about the importance/influence of books is going to jump ahead on my TBR list.
  • The Secret Book of Flora Lea by Patti Callahan Henry – Working at a rare bookshop. Story of sisterly love. Mystery revolving around a book. This one checked a lot of boxes for me, and it helped me work through my remaining Audible credits. Sweet story.
  • The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik – I have to know what happens next! 
  • Resistance by Tori Amos – This is my current car book, read by Tori Amos herself. In related news, I’m definitely listening to all her albums on repeat nonstop. I love her so much. 
  • A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain – I bought this audiobook a long time ago because Nick Offerman reads it. If you, too, are trying to use up all your Audible credits, I recommend it!

Collection

So that shelf that’s in my living room with all the books I’ve meant to read in the last year or so but didn’t quite…it’s pretty full. And what it’s full of are a bunch of books that I have been super psyched about relatively recently. This month’s collection selections are from that shelf.

Happy June (and happy reading) to you!

Friday Five – Home

“Home wasn’t a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.” – Sarah Dessen, from What Happened to Goodbye

In exploring the concept of home, I’ve noticed that certain things stand out to me. For the rest of the year, a few of our Friday Fives are going to focus on books and think pieces that have sparked reflections about some of those things. 

  1. Shawn Smucker’s piece On the Road Again – “Now that I”m 46, homesickness is more of an ache for the place and the people where I belong, where I fit.” I spent most of last weekend on my parents’ farm, with a brief stint at the cousin’s place to attend a graduation party for his oldest child who is now an actual grown-up. [Aside – WHAT. I swear he was just born a minute ago.] It was so good to catch up with the extended family I came from, and we’re going to need to do that more often. I also really love coming back to Denton after a weekend away, though. Walking into my messy apartment where everything is mine and is just where I left it gives me a special kind of peace.
  2. The Secret of Poppyridge Cove by Rimmy London – Should you use an inheritance to buy a great house that comes with some land and a private beach entrance but that is also possibly haunted and/or frequented by a (maybe) serial killer? I know the “responsible” answer to this fantasy scenario is probably no, especially when the money is not all in the bank account quite yet, but then I had to keep turning up the volume on this audiobook to hear it over my upstairs neighbors and their cute dogs committing the grievous act of walking across the room in their own apartment, so WHERE DO I SIGN?! I am inspiring/torturing myself with a lot of books lately that revolve around the act of buying a home and making it yours (even if there are bumps and possibly corpses along the way). I liked both this one and A Traitor at Poppyridge Cove, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the series.
  3. The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg – I’m not saying that, when I retire, I’m going to put everything in storage and just drive until I find the town and house I want to live in, but this book makes a good argument for it. I really enjoyed it. Yes, as a couple of the online reviews state, it does read a little bit like a Hallmark Christmas movie (minus the Christmas). But there are so many poignant moments about grief and friendship and delicious food and community that it might have well had my name in the title because clearly it was written for me.  It wasn’t just finding a place to land that helped the main character through her grief but also remembering to find joy in small, ordinary pleasures and with the people who showed up alongside her. I could use that reminder myself from time to time. 
  4. I love the way Christie Purifoy writes about place. In this guest post, she pursues the answer to the question, “What if our homes could be places that bring us back to life?” I love being at home, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things I want to get done there. I get started with one project and then have to work or be somewhere else, so it takes longer than I would like to make a dent or a difference. But at other times, I look out my patio door at the tiny garden that is thriving, or I sit in my office among my books and glance up to see one I’d forgotten I had, and I’m filled with gratitude for this little space of mine. More of these life-giving moments, please.
  5. How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis – This is the book I didn’t even know I needed right now. Usually with advice-laden books, I take notes because 1) that’s my best learning style, and 2) I want a succinct list of highlights to review later. I didn’t do that with this one because it’s short and I own it so I just decided to tab the pages. I have so many tabbed spots. It’s the tabbing equivalent of highlighting the whole book. But at just over 150 pages (if you include the appendix and the acknowledgments), it’s so rich in information. My favorite takeaway is that care tasks (whether for home or self) are morally neutral. You are not a better or worse person/adult based on how much you get done. I want this lesson to permeate my whole life this year. I already know it in my head but my heart and soul take a minute to catch up.

I’m very much looking forward to an easy weekend. Rest. Recoup. Also, dishes and maybe dusting. Putting some of those principles from Davis’s book into practice.

This is the second closedown day/summer move-in weekend at work. This one is a little slower than last week, so I figured an update was in order. I know that to everyone else it’s Saturday, but I definitely woke up to an alarm and I’m wearing shoes and sitting at my desk at work, so it’s Friday in my heart.

This week’s edition includes recipes of things I have been tinkering with and a few books I have finished in the last couple of weeks. Enjoy!

  1. One of my book clubs met last Tuesday, and we usually each bring a snack or some type of food to share. The snack I brought this month was margaritas. My go-to recipe is one I found in one of the Sweet Potato Queens’ books (I believe it was The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love), because it’s four ingredients I can pour together, stir, and call it a day. Well, I like Triple Sec in my margaritas, so my version is technically five ingredients. And the grocery store didn’t have frozen limeade on Monday night, so I used the Simply Limeade, and now I have a new favorite way to make them that’s not quite so syrupy sweet. Anyway, combine 12(ish) oz. each of tequila and/or triple sec, Corona (or a Corona-esque beer – they’re actually better with Sol if you can find it), 7-Up (not Sprite or any other lemon/lime drink – it makes a difference), and frozen limeade (or Simply Limeade that you’ve slightly frozen). Stir, serve, and enjoy. It’s the perfect hybrid of frozen and on-the-rocks margaritas, and it is potent
  2. I’ve been dabbling with no-churn ice creams, and I took two flavors to Cookbook Club last Friday – Nigella Lawson’s no-churn coffee ice cream and Eric Kim’s no-churn Scotch ice cream. In related news, I enjoy boozy ice creams. And the no-churn is so easy to make (it’s essentially frozen whipped cream). This may become a habit. Cottage cheese ice cream is the next experiment.
  3. The Seven Stones: The Seastone by Robb Arbuckle – This is the first book in a new middle-grade series, and it’s a pretty standard good vs. evil, magical academia trope. It incorporates a lot of mythology and elementals and historical references, so it’s also pretty ambitious. I’m interested to see if many of those things will become significant to the plot of the series or if the author will focus on a few of them to tighten the narrative (I can see clear arguments for both, depending on what the author wants the story arc to be, so this interest is curiosity rather than criticism at this point). It made me want to read more of the story, so it was a successful first installment!
  4. I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver – This was my second time reading this book because I recommended it for my church book club. I loved it just as much the second time (and listened on audio, which is also good). The main character is nonbinary, and this is the story of their coming out and finding the people who love and support them. Deaver does a great job of showing the anguish and self-doubt that often accompanies this process. I wanted to fight everyone who hurt Ben throughout the book.
  5. The Bullet That Missed by Richard Osman – I really love the Thursday Murder Club series. I was feeling puny Sunday so I was not up for much else but lying about and drinking tea and reading this book. I started and finished it that day.

Added bonus – a morning routine is so important, and this kid is going places. But not until he’s had his morning lemon and honey constitutional.

I hope your weekend is going well!