Feeling a little puny this week, but otherwise, it’s been a pretty good one. I have a slow weekend ahead, and I’m looking forward to that. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow morning!
Next week is the students’ spring break, but I’m also taking off a couple of days and then a few days the week after that to make a long birthday weekend. Shaping up to be a good rest for the next couple of weeks!
“In another life, I’m a booktuber.” Susannah Conway is one of my favorite people on the internet, and I love this short piece. I like my life and my choices in general. But I’ve been a bit blue this week and musing on the lives I could have had is a little bit of a breather.
In niche news, I’ve been into villanelles lately (e.g., “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”). I find their rhythm both inspiring and soothing. Might try doing something with that. Stay tuned.
A little inspiration for getting my garden started this weekend. That’s the one big task I have planned for home for this weekend. I have my soil and seeds and here’s hoping another big freeze doesn’t come through before Texas spring really springs.
I love this piece on embodiment and approaching living as an art form, taking into account possibilities as well as limits – The Art of Living (The Convivial Society)
Read a book by an author with an upcoming event (virtual or in person) and then attend the event (Book Riot)
Additional/Ongoing Reads
Sarah and I are tackling Proust together this year, so I’ve just started Swann’s Way. I’m also still working through Sacred Self-Care for Lent, and reading several books about health.
This week has been a mix of ups and downs, but it has felt like the most normal week I’ve had so far this year. I got to see some friends and had enough energy to put in almost a full week of work. I’m about to hunker down with a book and a cup of tea for the evening, but I thought I’d share a few things with you first.
One of the main things on my mind this week is the wildfires in the Texas Panhandle. My parents live a few hours south of where most of the blazes happened. So much loss, and here is how you can help.
The title “Warm House on a Quiet Day” stuck out as a cozy invitation in my inbox, but when I clicked to read it, it was so much more. Laura Grace Weldon’s words read like my constant internal monologue.
I’ve been trying to find a small, portable snack and ran across this little gem – savory oatmeal cookies. I made the rosemary/parmesan ones. This weekend, I may experiment with subbing thyme, adding dried cherries, and leaving out all the dairy for the next batch. I feel like the possibilities are endless, and I am committed to exploring them with reckless abandon.
This piece by Lisa Bartelt is beautiful. My church is coming through for me in lovely, astounding ways these days, and it’s been a good reminder of why I picked them and why I choose to keep coming back. But even during more normal seasons, the rituals and the community I have there work wonders in my soul.
And finally, I got to go to a vigil for Nex Benedict last night, and it was lovely. Following up a bit from last week, here is a list of resources from OUTreach Denton that can help you learn about how to get more involved in advocating for LGBTQ+ folk, particularly youth. Most of these are based in the DFW area, but I encourage you to look for resources around where you live if you’re not local to me.
I hope you’ve had a good week, and I hope you have an even better weekend!
Happy Friday! I’ve mostly been reading about chemotherapy this week, so not a lot from the web to share. But I still have some exciting things and updates.
This Friday is a special one. One of my very best friends turns 40 today! Happy birthday, Michelle! I require you to live at least another 40. More, if possible. But just go ahead and plan on at least another 40. You make the world better and brighter and more badass and I love you so much.
I had my first treatment yesterday and other than being a little tired (probably more from the steroid keeping me awake most of the night than the actual chemo), I am mostly good. My skin is BIG mad so I’m being extra nice to it today.
I’m super excited about seeing The Taste of Things. I’m not really doing large public things like going to movie theaters these days, so I will wait until it streams to see it. But ever since Chocolat, Juliette Binoche is my foodie movie fave, and the trailer looks amazing.
Our team at work is reading The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fableby Patrick Lencioni, to discuss in a few weeks, so I’m probably going to start reading that today. In related news, I may need to stock up on popcorn and tea for the entertaining show that this discussion is likely to be.
Finally, I’m going to do book reviews a little differently this year. I’m going to be participating in Modern Mrs. Darcy’s monthly Quick Lit, so I’ll have a separate post somewhere around the ides of each month to catch up. I think it will be easier to do it all in one post a month, and I’m all about making every single thing I can easier these days. But the MMD community always has great suggestions, so if you’re looking for something to read over the weekend, you can get recommendations galore at that link!
It’s been a nutty couple of weeks. I feel more settled at work than I did in early-to-mid-January, probably because the semester is getting underway and everyone is falling back to their routines. Either that, or I have successfully adopted a more relaxed, whatever-gets-done-is-enough attitude (less likely, but still remotely possible). Also, I’m getting more done, so it may just be that that feels good. Regardless of the reason, I’ll take it.
Meanwhile, I am super focused on a few key things. At home, I am nesting like I’m expecting a new baby. I am constructing an elaborate meal plan that I may actually use occasionally when I feel up to it in the next few months. And the information-sponge part (erm, majority?) of my personality is in overdrive. About everything. Mostly health stuff, but it’s hard to turn it off when it’s time to talk about something else. Yesterday at an appointment the nurse said, “This may be too much information.” No such thing, friend. No. Such. Thing.
However, I am enjoying super easy weekends and shall continue to do so while I’m going through treatment so as not to tax my system any more than necessary or cause any delays. In the perfect world, I would take this opportunity to learn how absolutely essential easy weekends are to my life and general well-being and keep them indefinitely. One can hope.
Here are some things I’m enjoying lately:
One of the wonderful things about reading challenges is that I get prompts that remind me of things I love. Nowhere Bookshop’s challenge encourages us to read our “Roman Empire” book – a book about any topic that lives a solid rent-free existence in our heads. One of my proverbial Roman Empires is architecture, specifically house plans. I think about how building homes could not only be useful as a career but also make opportunities to provide shelter and safety for others as well as build communities. I think about it a lot. I have several rough sketches for houses – everything from small bungalows to large spaces with full libraries and indoor pools. Also, I LOVE BLUEPRINTS. This prompt has me deep-diving into this topic that gives me so much joy. Look at these tiny house plans! How cute are they? And I adore the whimsy of this one. I mean, I would need a whole second tiny house just for my books, but I love the creative, economical use of space. Anyway, I put a lot of books on hold at the library about this, so I think I will have this prompt more than covered.
Also…I like this article. Not making any plans (for now or in the near future). I just like it.
I love cottagecore. Not so much the clothing or decorating style (although I do love roses and carnations and tend to decorate with both, even after they’re dead), but the lifestyle elements. Container gardens, reusing scraps, knitting my own blankets, slow food. Focusing on less waste and more creativity. Great quote – “We can choose to create a world for ourselves filled with gentle moments, while also considering how we can make our homes a place of cultivation instead of a place to store ‘things.’” This also slides right in line with my current nesting habits.
I’ve been looking for recipes recently that are high in protein and fiber. I’ve been in a bit of a food rut, but most of these and these look good to me. Perhaps I’ll try one or two of them this weekend (lookin’ at you, sweet potato).
I know they’ve reached their goal already, but these are some of the most talented baristas in Denton, and I want them to have all they need and more while they look for their next gig. So if you have a little love (and by love, I do mean cash) to throw their way, please do. Also, there’s going to be a fundraiser at Rubber Gloves, so swing by if you’re in Denton on February 10.
Take care this weekend (and all the time, really), friends. I hope it’s relaxing and fun and everything you want it to be!
Happy New Year, everyone! Back to work this week, getting to do a lot of interviews for next year’s staff. We’re losing almost half of our student staff in the office, and there are a lot of great candidates. Definitely go home and just sit in the silence after all this social interaction, though. Ready for a calm, quiet weekend.
Here are some things I enjoyed this week:
I’m intrigued by the concept of house hushing. On the one hand, it makes sense that a neat environment can be more peaceful – more mentally quiet. On the other hand, this feels like another person telling me why I need to clean my house, and I’m not sure I’m open to that sort of advice today. Does hushing still work if I’m overwhelmed and exhausted about it? Maybe I’ll revisit this concept when I’m in a more cleaning-as-catharsis mood.
Here’s something more manageable – turning my office into a cozy workspace. My current favorite things about my office at UNT – a full candy jar, inspirational notes on the bulletin board, coloring books and supplies available for students to use, and twinkle lights (battery-operated, per Housing rules).
I love this piece about dancing – at parties, in clubs, in your living room – how it feels to move in time with music and other people and be a part of something. One of the reasons I don’t mind crowds quite as much when I’m dancing is that it lets me be a slightly different person than I usually am when I’m standing or sitting still. It’s an experience of being both together and alone.
Leave it to Joy the Baker to speak my mind. Gentle January is such a good idea. I mean, I clearly am not going to leave goal-setting and looking toward the new year until the end of the month. But I am starting off soft in other ways. To me, this looks like even more nights at home than usual and longer writing/piano/knitting/crafting sessions. And I am definitely on board with eating down the fridge and pantry to use up all the things before restocking. Work and medical stuff are out of control this month, so embracing as gentle a January as possible sounds like such a relief.
I’m not adding yet another reading challenge to my plate this year. I’m really not. But I do find this one intriguing. If you get book FOMO, this might be a good one for you. A little backtrack on things that might have fallen under your radar in the last decade or so. Enjoy!
This year was a wild one. I’m pretty surprised I accomplished as much as I did. I met the spirit of each of my resolutions, if not the actual goals themselves.
Theme: Home
I’ve thought and read a lot this year about what home (having one, being at, making one, etc.) means. I’ve jotted down notes throughout the year and shared some of them here (click “home” link in the word salad over there —>). As I was finishing up The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik, I ran across a quote that sums up a lot of my thoughts on the theme – “Nothing about deathlessness or permanence, nothing forced; it was only a request, a cry of longing: stay here, please stay, be our shelter, be our home, be loved…”
Home is not something I construct once and have forever. It is a living, breathing thing. I find it in spaces, but I can also carry it with me, a sense of belonging that simply comes from being at home with who I am. A loving, peaceful home – or world – cannot be created from exploitation or greed. It must be cultivated with care. And care is complicated, especially when there are few systems in place to foster it.
I see this working in many of the choices I’ve made this year to put down some things that seem great but are either shiny trash or just not for me. I’ve also put my strategic/analytical strengths to good use in choosing new things to pick up.
I don’t think this a lesson that ends, but I’m glad to have explored it more thoroughly this year.
Arts/Words/Creativity
The thrill of having a week off work without having to use any PTO often goes to my head. Especially when setting goals for the upcoming year. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though. I like thinking in terms of extravagant possibilities, particularly when it comes to creative pursuits.
While I didn’t quite make the goal of reading 180 books, I don’t think it’s beyond my reach (in general – definitely beyond my reach in the next day and a half). In fact, I was ahead of schedule for most of the year, until work and health issues exploded. I don’t know how much those things will actually settle down, but I’ll keep the same goal for next year and see how it goes.
When it comes to setting reasonable creative goals, I first had to fail spectacularly to learn. Most of the year, I faithfully set weekly plans on Sunday…and then did not meet them. Minor tangent – I am delighted to report that failing isn’t half the gut punch it used to be. Perhaps I’m actually healing from my overachiever, perfectionist ways? Here’s hoping. Anyway, in the last few months, I have become better at setting realistic short-term goals, a skill I plan to take into the new year with gusto.
Health/Wellness/Energy
I still really dislike strength training. And I dropped my Pilates membership because I wasn’t going anyway so it didn’t make sense to spend money on it. But I am begrudgingly sticking to a pretty regular schedule, completing at least two upper body and two lower body sessions a week. I am happy to report that it still works even when you whine about it, and a little whining is cathartic.
My favorite wellness habit this year has been my commitment to making sure I have the downtime I need to function properly. The more I learn about how my brain works and what it needs to be at its best, the easier it is to say no to things that keep that from happening. Same thing with cutting out foods that make me feel sluggish. Actually feeling good and having sufficient energy to do things is so much better than slogging through or pushing myself until I collapse. I’m up to three regular time-outs a week. I think that’s the sweet spot where I still feel connected to people and life in general without getting overwhelmed and out of sorts.
As it turns out, these are skills I will need in the months ahead.
I have some hard things coming up, health-wise. I don’t know all the specifics yet or the extent to which I will need to reorganize the rest of my life to adapt to these changes in the upcoming months, and I don’t know how much of it I will share here. I do know, however, that I will need the space to figure it out as I go along. And the work I have done this year toward being healthier – both physically and mentally – is going to help me do that. I’m grateful for what this year has taught me in this regard.
Finances
I do not have $1000 in my cushion account. Like I said, some shit has come up. But at least I have a cushion account, and I’m leaving it alone (except for the emergencies and extra surprises for which it is intended) and replenishing it as I am able. This is still an improvement over last year.
As far as my goal of identifying one new way to save or make money every month, I have gone above and beyond. I dropped subscriptions and services that I wasn’t using enough to justify the expense. I curbed impulse spending by giving myself a 3-day waiting period before buying anything I didn’t need to make sure I actually wanted to make the purchase (this was more successful at certain times than at others). Do you know how much more satisfying it makes the purchase when you actually do decide you want it? I had no idea.
But most of all, I applied for and got a new job that increased my monthly take-home pay by about 18%. I have needed every penny of it, and I am so glad to have it.
This year has shaken me in several ways, but it has also revealed that my foundation and my support system are stronger than I thought they were. Most days, I’m more grateful than anxious, and I’m pleased about that.
I intentionally did not take on most of my usual reading challenges this year specifically to give myself more flexibility, and in that regard, my reading plans this year were successful. Another thing I liked about my reading this year is that it was even more social than usual. I hope someone picks up the ball on hosting staff book clubs at UNT (I’m working really hard not to volunteer for yet another thing at work…but I want to). I really enjoyed reading fun things with people from across campus.
One thing I did challenge myself to read an alphabetical list of both titles and authors and while I didn’t quite finish it, I definitely chose some for this list that I enjoyed and wouldn’t have read otherwise. My favorite part of this challenge was picking some of the books off my shelves at home that I have been meaning to read for years but never got around to it.
Anyway, although I didn’t quite finish the whole alphabet, I made it through quite a few of them. Here’s the last installment of the year.
For the main list of book titles I’ve finished for this challenge, see this post. For reviews on specific books, see previous posts:
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley
C
The Castlemaine Murders by Kerry Greenwood
The Postmistress of Paris by Meg Waite Clayton
D
Dear Bob and Sue by Matt and Karen Smith
Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz
E
Excuse Me While I Disappear by Laurie Notaro
The Measure by Nikki Erlick – So good! I can see why so many people recommended it, and I’m glad one of my book clubs worked it in before the end of the year. The basic premise is that people over the age of 22 all over the world started receiving mysterious boxes with strings that measure the length of their lives, and the plot developed from there. It was told from multiple perspectives of a few interconnected characters and addressed several issues that would arise from such a phenomenon. Why would/wouldn’t someone open their box? Should people running for office or those going into military service be forced to open their boxes and divulge the contents? Is there a duty to disclose to partners/employers/friends/parents/etc.? For the record, I would 100% open the box. Even though I agree with a lot of the reasons not to, and I am firmly in the right-to-privacy camp, it would come down to the simple fact that there is information there for the taking…and I would absolutely take it. I’ve already convinced one of my book clubs to read this next year, so I’m excited to see what they think.
F
Florence Adler Swims Forever by Rachel Beanland
Rock Paper Scissors by Alice Feeney
G
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Winter Recipes from the Collective by Louise Glück
H
How To Be Perfect by Michael Schur
The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris
I
The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne
J
Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry
The Friend Zone and The Happy Ever After Playlist by Abby Jimenez
K
Writers & Lovers by Lily King
L
Lucky Turtle by Bill Roorbach
Bright Dead Things by Ada Limón
M
Marie Kondo’s Kurashi at Home
Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire
N
The Last Graduate by Naomi Novik
O
The Opposite of You by Rachel Higginson
The Book of Form and Emptiness by Ruth Ozeki
P
The Pisces by Melissa Broder
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Q
Queen of the Flowers by Kerry Greenwood
Blessings by Anna Quindlen – Reading this book, I realized something about my selections this year. I’m in the habit of reading books where either everything goes wrong and is awful all the way through, or after a few small bumps everything magically works out in the end. This book is a realistic mix of both. There are real joys and heartaches all throughout the story, and it’s not particularly predictable at any turn. The writing is rich, and the characters are layered. Highly recommend.
R
A Rhythm of Prayer, edited by Sarah Bessey
The Printed Letter Bookshop by Katherine Reay – This book’s premise has so many things going for it for me – quirky characters, inheriting/running a bookshop, budding romances, healing relationships. But it was a slog to get through. There were definitely some good moments, but when I find myself counting page numbers and looking at the clock to estimate how much time I have left until I finish, it’s not a good sign. If the book had been any longer than it was, I probably would not have finished it.
S
A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle
T
Ten Steps to Nanette: A Memoir Situation by Hannah Gadsby
Women Talking by Miriam Toews
U
V
Verity by Colleen Hoover
Ander & Santi Were Here by Jonny Garza Villa – Oh, my heart. I cried for like the last 80 pages of this book. I was mad and happy and sad and furious and proud and touched and about fifteen other feelings. I can see myself reading this one again. The characters use a lot of slang, so it will be interesting to see how it reads in a few (or twenty) years. I hope the difficulties the characters face read differently in that time, too (I don’t have a lot of hope, but I do hope).
W
A World of Curiosities by Louise Penny
Witch King by Martha Wells – This is the latest from the author of the Murderbot series I love so much, and this found family fantasy novel is just as good. After 400+ pages, I feel like I’m just getting to know the characters a little bit, and I want more! The world contains demons, witches, immortals, and other types of fantasy characters from a unique perspective, and the interplay of both their powers and limitations offers endless storyline opportunities. I don’t know if this is the first in a new series, but I would be the first in line to read more.
X
Y
Z
Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul by Najwa Zebian
I am excited to pick up a couple of reading challenges for next year (more on this in an upcoming post), but I think I’m going to finish this one out, too.
It’s the last workday of the year (well, at one job – probably going to do some writing for the other one next week. Probably. Maybe. We’ll see.). I am in the process of interviewing everyone who passed through the application portion of selection (for the department’s new live-in student staff next year) and indicated they were specifically interested in the Housing Ambassador side of things, but I am done with today’s round! I desperately need to organize my office, so that’s on the to-do list this afternoon.
Then tomorrow, it’s off to the family farm with my sister and brother-in-law!
But first, I have some things to share with you today:
My favorite news this week – Martha Wells’s Murderbot is going to become a show! I love Murderbot. Very excited to see what they do with it.
I Am From Here by Vishwesh Bhatt – This cookbook is written like a love story to food and family and all the influences that brought Bhatt to where he is today. Beautiful pictures and a horde of new recipes to try.
In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren – I enjoyed this book, but I was stressed out for most of it because there was a going-back-in-time/Groundhog-Day-esque element, and I didn’t feel like the conclusion to that was thoroughly flushed out. Are they OK? Did everyone make it out alright? I needed answers sooner and also more completely.
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt – I LOVED THIS BOOK. The characters are endearing and one of them is an octopus. It’s not as weird as it sounds. It’s charming and wonderful and if you liked A Man Called Ove or Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine or books like that, you will like this one, too.
And finally, while I’m definitely going to pick up dinner tonight on my way home, I am looking forward to my upcoming slower week. Gonna make some big-batch meals in the crock pot and roast a whole lot of vegetables for warm salads. Maybe make some soup. I’ve pretty much depleted my stash of frozen leftovers in the last couple of weeks, so I’m excited to replenish them.
I also look forward to posting some year-in-review thoughts as well as my theme and goals for next year in the upcoming week. I wish you contentment and love as you finish out the year!
This month is out of control already, but I am reading up a storm. Carving out the necessary time to do so is even more crucial in busy months.
I’m also participating in Susannah Conway’s December Reflections challenge as part of my reflecting-on-the-year process. Today’s prompt is ‘Best Decision of 2023,’ and hands down, the best decision I made was applying for and accepting the Coordinator for Housing Services job. I love working more closely with the Housing Ambassadors in a position where I get to both witness and aid in their professional growth. It’s such a privilege. (Having my own office is nice, too.)
Really Good, Actually by Monica Heisey – I gave this book 4 stars for two reasons. First, one of my favorite audiobook narrators, Julia Whelan, reads it. Superb. Highly recommend. Second, the main character, while a mess, is embarrassingly relatable to me. She leaned full in to that downward spiral after her divorce, and that is exactly my irrational bad attitude after a breakup or fizzling of any kind. Everything is terrible, love is a sham, wallow and refuse to heal for a good minute because if you don’t, the cults of productivity and respectability politics win. This is exactly what that feels like and (spoiler alert) what it feels like to emerge.
Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage by Heather Havrilesky – I mean, the title alone was enough to hook me. An unflinchingly honest memoir about the joys and trials of marriage. I think anyone who is planning to get married (ever) should absolutely read this book so they can go ahead and set reasonable expectations for it. I would also recommend it to those who are married as a cathartic “Oh, good – it’s not just us” or “Oh, good – at least we don’t do that” or “Oh, wow – maybe we should get some therapy” tool. I would expect nothing less of Ask Polly.
Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan – FANTASTIC. I zoomed through the audio this past weekend because it’s been on my TBR for a minute and one of our work book clubs was scheduled to discuss it this week. I’m going to recommend it to at least two other book clubs for next year. I appreciate it when popular authors are humble enough to bring in other writers to collaborate on books that center on things outside their own experience. It makes the story so much richer.
The Disaster Tourist by Yun Ko-Eun – Dark eco-tourism tale. My favorite parts of the writing were the bits of humor sprinkled throughout, which gave it a moderately unhinged, uncertain mood. I’d be feeling a certain way about the horrible things it was describing and then one of the characters would do something quirky or slightly charming, and the effect was jarring. Really well-written and unsettling.
Soon, we are off to our over-the-top departmental holiday party. It’s my favorite Christmas party at work of the year. Then I am getting my hair done…and going to Chelby’s I-beat-cancer party…and Molten Plains Fest is tonight. It’s just going to be a good day.
I hope you have a good day and a great weekend, too!
M. Suzanne Terry 