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Friday Five – August Home Edition

Posted in 31 Days, Beauty, Books, Food, Friday Five, Home, Joy, Resolutions, Work on August 25, 2023| Leave a Comment »

I love that the last Friday in August is here. I know that there’s no magical off switch for all the busyness and the horrible heat and the general ARGH of my most stressful month of the year when the date changes to September, but it feels like there is. Y’all – I take my relief and my peace any way I can get it, even if it’s just through the story I’m making up in my head.

Here are some of the ways I’ve been reflecting on my theme of home this month.

  • I love the meandering path of this piece on minimalism. Minimalism is a nice concept but also can be judgy and steeped in privilege and is often a thinly veiled excuse for even more shopping (and thus the inevitable accrual of more things, which one might argue is the exact opposite of the true spirit of minimalism). As someone who appreciates minimalism as an idea (and omg I love Marie Kondo) but leans more toward cozy and whimsical in decorating a home/office/patio that actually feels like a home to me, I have had every single one of the feelings the writer describes.
  • Speaking of accruing things, Bed, Bath, and Beyond is all online now that they have closed/are closing all their stores, and I am riveted. I look at this website at least once a day. I have yet to buy anything because these days I get stressed about the prospect of actually spending money on anything, even if I need it (a positive swing in my spendy attitude but also I could stand to dial back the trepidation a little – I’m sure in time it will balance). But I’m making plans. So. Many. Plans. I need a new mattress, and I want to upgrade some of my chairs in the apartment over the course of the next couple of years. And this table is so cute and functional. I love it when things are both.
  • “What if we understood our lists as menus instead?” But seriously. WHAT IF WE UNDERSTOOD OUR LISTS AS MENUS INSTEAD!?! I resonated with this piece so much that my eyes welled up with tears. My life, my home, my writing, my reading (etc.) are all governed by a series of lists. Reading this essay took a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t know I was carrying. If you have a love-hate relationship with the to-do lists (or the TBR list) in your life, consider the perspective of Oliver Burkeman (The Imperfectionist – also love that blog title and I’m a little mad that I didn’t think of it first). I also love the tagline on the main page “…building a meaningful life in an age of bewilderment.” You know what, let’s just sign up for the newsletter. I feel like I need more bold imperfection in my inbox.
  • I love these reflections on home compiled by Amy Studarus as featured on Shondaland, especially the ones that talk about helping others make their home dreams a reality. I like the way we are all connected by our own concepts of home and what that means, even when we mean very different things. One of my favorite things about having a theme word for each year is gathering the wisdom of others who have given it more thought than I have and thus have had time to put that thought into action. I like seeing how their reflections are playing out.
  • Even though my current kitchen is the least favorite kitchen I’ve ever had, it’s still an important part of my home and one I spend a lot of my waking hours in. In my 31 days series coming up in October, I am going to talk about the foods and recipes that remind me of home, whether that means the farm where I grew up or one of the places I’ve lived since then. I strongly connect food to the places and people I love, and I am looking forward to hashing that out a bit in writing. In the meantime, I am reading cookbooks and kitchen memoirs and foodie fiction, gleaning inspiration on how I want to present my thoughts on the meals that hold special meaning for me. Joy the Baker is one of my favorite people who write about food, and her post about this summer’s peach crisp is a good example of why. She starts off with a short personal reflection (i.e., she actually blogs on her food blog, which is inexplicably a source of contention for many people, which I will address in my anchor post on October 1). Then she explains what makes this recipe stand out among others of its kind and goes through the role that each ingredient plays. This is my favorite part of her posts, because as long as I’ve been cooking and baking, I still usually learn something. She’s not just handing us a recipe – she’s teaching us why it works, which ultimately helps us, her readers, become more confident and more adventurous in our own kitchens at home. I love that.

Friends, I hope you are having a good day, and I wish you a relaxing weekend!

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August 2023 TBR

Posted in Books, Reading Challenges, Resolutions, Work on August 1, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Oh, August. It’s offensively hot outside and super busy at work (I looove it, though) (the new job and training the staff, not the heat, to be clear). Sounds like a great time to stay indoors and read in what little downtime I have this month. 

[Per the usual disclosure, most of the links are affiliate links.]

Book Clubs

So we had a division retreat at work recently, and the focus was our personal wellness. The first session I attended was “Who wants to be in a book club?” One might ask, “Suzanne, do you really want to join more book clubs?” but I think we all know the answer to that already, so let’s just move on. 

Anyway, the book club list is longer now. No regrets.

TBR

The combination of August-in-Texas heat and August-in-Housing scheduling has me giving off serious I-do-what-I-want vibes in my personal life (I mean, even more than usual). All the reading this month outside of book clubs (and really, for the most part, in book clubs as well) is pure enjoyment. Here are some books I’ve gleaned from my own shelves or the library and added to the on-deck TBR pile.

What is the best thing (book or otherwise) you’ve read lately?

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Friday Five – Home (and Office) Update

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Food, Friday Five, Fun, Home, Mental Health, Resolutions, Work on July 28, 2023| Leave a Comment »

From The Museum of Ordinary People by Mike Gayle – “The older you get, the more home becomes about people rather than place, I think. The older you get, the more roots are about where you want to be rather than where you come from.”

Our cookbook club meets tonight, and the theme is pickles. Up until this week, I was going to make cheddar and dill biscuits but it’s so very hot, so I’ve made pickled carrots and bought a nice cheese to go with them instead. I love sharing food with these folks. It’s one of the things I look forward to the most each month.

  • This piece – “The Poetics of Family Life” – outlined some interesting insights into the home being its own harmonious entity, not just a reflection of public life and its guidelines. It’s more zoned toward families, but there are some nuggets of wisdom that I’m chewing on for myself, too. 
  • It will depend on how much the paycheck actually changes in the next few months, of course, but I am already breathing easier about finances. The thought of being able to not only make my overall budget and beef up my savings but also have enough left over to go out for dinner/drinks with friends a few times a month without sticking to a diet of pb&j and ramen the week before payday, or replace worn-out clothing and shoes as needed without having to dip into an emergency fund, or just buy cute little upgrades for my home like these pillows on a consistent basis is so incredibly freeing. I might even be able to start a fun fund within the next year for extravagances such as vacations or a car.
  • On being the person you are on vacation…this is a good reminder to make time not only for the practical work that I need to do to make my home run well but also for rest and rejuvenation. I’m working through The Artist’s Way again, and while I remembered writing morning pages from the time I worked through it before (over a decade ago), I forgot the instruction to schedule a weekly artist date with yourself – something to feed your creativity. While I would argue that once a week is not enough (acknowledging, of course, that the time to be able to work in more than one a week is a privilege some don’t have), this was another gentle reminder to not let weeks slip by without being intentional about protecting my calm and creativity.
  • I am at the overwhelmed stage of the new job. That’s fine. Everything’s fine. But these tips on how to stay grounded and feel at home with yourself really came in handy this week. I only hyperventilated once. Good job, me!
  • The title of that last article also reminded me that I need to get some plants for my office because I can BECAUSE I HAVE A WINDOW NOW (those caps are excited-shouty, not angry-shouty). We’re doing two weeks of training for the student staff that I supervise, and then we open all the buildings for fall, but after that chaos has passed, I think my treat to myself after that is going to be some greenery for the office. Because I enjoy having indoor plants but not necessarily planting them, I’ll probably be scouting for new little windowsill friends at True Leaf Studio.

I hope you have a great and restful weekend!

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July 2023 TBR

Posted in Books, Friday Five, Reading Challenges, Resolutions, Work, Writing on July 3, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Welcome to July! I have a writing retreat (more on the specifics tomorrow) and a reading retreat this month, and I start my new job..soon-ish? Other than my regularly scheduled festivities, those are the things I’m looking forward to the most. I think *knocks on wood* that my schedule is easier this month outside of work (which is good, because it is absolutely nuts at work), so I should have a lot of reading time. 

Book Clubs

MMD

TBR/Collection

Dewey’s Reverse Readathon is scheduled for July 21-22, so I will probably have some time to finish up a few things I’ve started in the past couple of months but have not finished.

That should keep me busy! I hope you have a great July.

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Friday Five – Home Update

Posted in Andilit, Beauty, Core, Fiction, Fishbowl, Friday Five, Home, Joy, Resolutions, Work, Writing on June 30, 2023| Leave a Comment »

June has been a pretty good month, all things considered. I mean, weather and legislation are gross, because Texas. And my dad had to put our dog Lola down, so I’m pretty sad about that. But despite a few storms, rainbows abound (feel free to interpret that in as many possible ways as you can). 

Here is this month’s update on my home theme. Enjoy!

  • I enjoyed this piece by Sarah E. Westfall on The Exhaustion of Stuff – “A home is more than a place to put our things. A home shapes us. It is where we are formed in relationship and, in an ideal setting, feel safe and supported. But when the Stuff™ that surrounds us is excessive or lacks meaning or breeds chaos, those same qualities begin to manifest themselves within us.” Sometimes, I am nostalgic about belongings and keep them even when they’re cluttery because I have feelings about getting rid of them (not all of these feelings are joy. Just…feelings). However, I am currently in a “pitchy” phase – I’m cleaning out closets and being rather ruthless in what I get rid of. It feels so good. I got a take back bag from For Days, and I am having absolutely no problem filling it. I expect it will be ready to send back in about a week. Happy.
  • One group of items that I have a hard time getting rid of is all those shoes. I love shoes. I love having a lot of choices, even though I typically wear only the same three or four pair. I’ve bravely put some of them in the giveaway pile, but for the rest, I am looking into better storage options so that they don’t just sit in a heap in the closet floor. 
  • I love this kind, stellar advice (as usual) from Ask Polly. Part of what I’m embracing about being at home with myself this year – with great enthusiasm and joy – is unlearning the urge to monetize everything I enjoy. To become the fucking weirdo who is really good at things she’s not trying to capitalize on. 
  • The flip side, of course, is that I hope to someday capitalize a little more on what I enjoy doing the most so it can be the thing I do full-time. The older I get, the more creativity is fundamental to my core and my happiness. I’m looking forward to some intensive creative time this weekend and part of next week. Specifically, I am doing my first DIY writing retreat of the year next Monday night through Wednesday night (ish), so I’m finishing up preparations for it this weekend. I have two main goals for this session – to edit and submit the first chapter of either “Fishbowl” or “November” to the Gutsy Great Novelist Page One Prize and to finish Andi Cumbo’s Smash the Myths course.
  • Finally, I am happy to announce that I have been offered the position of Coordinator for Housing Services! I expect it to be a smooth transition, as I’ll be working with the same team I’m currently on, just with different responsibilities that are more in line with my strengths. Also, I will be moving into one of the offices (and thus out of the reception area yay), so I am spending a lot of free time building my dark academia Pinterest board with decorating ideas. Looking to build a cozy, welcoming space but also make it a reflection of my personal style as much as possible.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

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Summer Bucket List 2023

Posted in Beauty, Books, Food, Fun, Home, Joy, Lucky, Lush, Mental Health, Resolutions, Seasons, Writing on June 22, 2023| 2 Comments »

Inspired by Joy the Baker, I have been making summer bucket lists for a few years. Summer is my least favorite season, which can feel isolating when it seems like it’s everyone else’s favorite. Sometimes I even trick myself into thinking this year will be different. My April and May self will see all the fun events planned for June and get excited. But when summer actually hits, I want to just curl up in a blanket and binge-watch something familiar (I’m currently rewatching Lucifer and Merlin). 

I suspect I have a little SAD going on, as this time of the year seems to be when I most need to ramp up good mental health habits. So the summer bucket list is partly self-care and partly a reminder that there’s something to look forward to.

  • Experiment with making summertime treats. Specifically, I have been obsessed with icebox pies lately. Some of them are recipes on their own; some are ice cream recipes I just freeze in a pie crust. I’ve got a long list to test and see which ones are my favorites, but here are a few to give you an idea of how delicious I intend my summer to be:
    • Coffee
    • Lemonade (also trying one with limeade)
    • Cherry (and blueberry and peach, etc.) cheesecake 
    • Maple whiskey
    • Banana cream
    • Tres leches
  • Have a two-day writing retreat at home. I am planning for this to be July 4 and 5, but I haven’t decided which project(s) I’m working on yet. I do know that I want to introduce the paid subscriber portion of my Substack by the end of the year, so I do need to edit some pieces to get them ready for the paying public. More on all of this later.
  • Have at least one reading retreat at home. If nothing else, I’ll be participating in Dewey’s Reverse readathon in July, but I’m open to more decadent reading days/weekends.
  • Take a mid-year financial health assessment – not necessarily for the blog (although I may post highlights) but just for my information. I feel like I’ve made considerable progress, but I want to actually crunch the numbers. 
  • Look for joy or luck or magic and document it (journal, Instagram, etc.). Take the lessons I’ve learned from past years’ themes and apply them. 

A medium-to-big life change is coming up soon, and I want to leave space for it. But I also don’t want to forget to take care of myself this summer so that I can keep overwhelm at a minimum.

Do you have any exciting summer plans?

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Friday Five – Weekend Potpourri

Posted in Food, Friday Five, Fun, Reading Challenges, Resolutions, Work, Writing on June 16, 2023| Leave a Comment »

This week has been busy, work-wise. I had an interview for a new position in our office, and I think it went OK. So we’ll see! 

As far as reading goes, I’ve been basking in some super sweet meet-cutes this week. This is one of my favorite summer/comfort genres. I’ve listed one of the ones I finished below (others coming up in reading challenge updates), and I am looking forward to basking in more of them during the long weekend.

Here are some recent notables I wanted to share. Enjoy!

  • I love this reflection from Andi Cumbo – Writing Lessons from a Lawn Care Channel. I love laundry for the same reasons. And I concur with Andi –  that channel is really satisfying.
  • That Summer Feeling by Bridget Morrissey was a great summer read. If you’ve ever fantasized about going to an adult sleepaway camp, this might be right up your alley. Of course, you know what will happen pretty early on, but that doesn’t make it less fun. And there are some really wonderful relationship moments – familial, platonic, and romantic – that tug on all the heartstrings. Stayed up late to finish it – no regrets.
  • Getting Word is one of my favorite literary projects, and their annual fundraiser starts Monday. Check them out and donate if you are so inclined.
  • I haven’t solidified my summer bucket list yet, but I have a sneaking suspicion that icebox pies and other no-bake desserts are going to take up a lot of space on it. I am currently finishing a coffee/Kahlua pie (which is really just Nigella Lawson’s no-churn ice cream in a chocolate cookie crust). After the lemon pie that I’m making this weekend, I expect that this no-bake tres leches will be on deck.
  • Cleverly cautious – a classic horse trait. “CAN IT EAT US ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION JULIA.” Shout-out to Jessica who shared this with the office this morning. It made me laugh and laugh. 

I hope you all have a good weekend!

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Friday Five-ish – So Many Books

Posted in Books, Friday Five, Mental Health, Reading Challenges, Resolutions on June 9, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Summertime is not my favorite for several reasons, but there is a perk:

More free time + higher temperatures outside = more reading inside. 

Summer (June in particular) is one of the main seasons when I clock more reading hours (and get rewarded for them through our library’s summer reading challenge!) than usual. I was nervous about raising my reading goal this year from 150 to 180, but I’m three books ahead of schedule, so it seems it was a reasonable goal to set. It’s at least having the intended effect of ensuring that I’m taking the downtime that I need, which is the most important thing.

As the summer progresses, a lot of the books I read will be chronicled in the post I write for all the books on the Modern Mrs. Darcy Minimalist Summer Reading Guide, and I will still be working on my Alphabet and Girlxoxo challenges. But that leaves a lot of others that don’t fit into the spaces left in those three categories.

So this is a Friday More-Than-Five. Friday Five-Adjacent. Friday Five-ish, if you will. 

Anyway, here’s what I thought of the books I’ve read since my last update.

  • Laziness Does Not Exist by Dr. Devon Price – This fantastic book outlines the ways that we overwork ourselves and refuse to rest and, instead of being properly horrified by our actions (and the economic system and cultural climate that inspire them), either wear them as some weird badge of honor as if there is somehow glory in being exhausted all the time or completely ignore reality and call ourselves lazy because we’re not doing even more than we already are. There was a lot in here that I needed to hear, and Dr. Price presented it clearly and graciously and backed it up with a ton of research. Triple win for me.
  • The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green – John Green is a gem of a human being, so I am not surprised that I liked this book, in which he talks about several people/events/phenomena/products/etc., and rates them on a scale of 1-5. Apparently, he also has a podcast by the same name, which one might argue is very similar to the audiobook – read by the author – that I just listened to. I would like to say I’ll now listen to the podcast faithfully, but knowing my propensity to give my attention to just about any other type of media before I listen to a podcast, I’m not going to promise that. However, I do give John Green’s delightful book 4.5 stars.
  • Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner – I loved this book. It was a hard read, as it deals with her mother’s illness and death, but as tributes go, it’s amazing. This was a beautiful way to honor her memory. I highly recommend listening to Japanese Breakfast while you read it.
  • The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz – This one started a little slow and whiny (on purpose – the main character/narrator is pretty navel-gazey), but when it did pick up – whew! I sort of suspected the ending but it was still interesting to see it play out. 
  • Resistance by Tori Amos – Tori Amos was a fundamental part of my coming-of-age experience, so I was excited to listen to her read her memoir about what was happening on the other side of the songs that accompanied some of my most formative years. I loved this book. My only complaint is that she recited rather than sang the lyrics that graced each chapter. But they’re beautiful as poetry, too, I guess.
  • Animals Eat Each Other by Elle Nash – If you want to know how to do polyamory wrong, this is a good example. It was a well-written (Nash’s scene descriptions are especially poignant) account of rampant confusion resulting from poor communication and (in my view) unfounded jealousy. I feel protective of the main character, though. She’s just trying to figure things out, and while she makes mistakes, she is treated with an unnecessary amount of harshness. It’s a good book, but I’m glad it was short. It was very stressful.
  • The Beauty of the Husband by Anne Carson – I love Anne Carson, and this is a lovely book. I especially liked the structure of it – a story of the disintegration of a marriage told in small, lyrical essays. I can see myself reading this one again someday.

I hope you have a good day and a fun weekend with all the time to read you want!

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June 2023 TBR

Posted in Books, Fun, Reading Challenges, Resolutions, Seasons on June 6, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Hello to June! The weather is pretending it’s going to be a mild summer (for now – I’ll not be lulled into a false sense of security this year, Texas June!), and it’s Pride Month, and I bought cherries this week, and my first snow cone of the year is in my near future. Happy!

Also, Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Guide is out! The full guide is for Patreon or MMD Book Club members, but you can get the minimalist guide (her team’s favorites and my starting point for the yearly challenge) on the website.

Here are most of the books on my radar this month.

Book Clubs

TBR

  • Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld – This recommendation has come from so many places, so it was no surprise that it was on MMD’s minimalist list. Excited to tuck into it! 
  • Something Wild & Wonderful by Anita Kelly – This is exactly how I like to experience hiking the most – sitting on my couch or at my desk in the air conditioning, reading about others’ zany misadventures. This title is also my Girlxoxo read for the month (keyword “wild”). 
  • No Two Persons by Erin Bauermeister – A story about how a book changes the lives of 11 people. Anything about the importance/influence of books is going to jump ahead on my TBR list.
  • The Secret Book of Flora Lea by Patti Callahan Henry – Working at a rare bookshop. Story of sisterly love. Mystery revolving around a book. This one checked a lot of boxes for me, and it helped me work through my remaining Audible credits. Sweet story.
  • The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik – I have to know what happens next! 
  • Resistance by Tori Amos – This is my current car book, read by Tori Amos herself. In related news, I’m definitely listening to all her albums on repeat nonstop. I love her so much. 
  • A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain – I bought this audiobook a long time ago because Nick Offerman reads it. If you, too, are trying to use up all your Audible credits, I recommend it!

Collection

So that shelf that’s in my living room with all the books I’ve meant to read in the last year or so but didn’t quite…it’s pretty full. And what it’s full of are a bunch of books that I have been super psyched about relatively recently. This month’s collection selections are from that shelf.

Happy June (and happy reading) to you!

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Friday Five – Home

Posted in Alive, Beauty, Books, Core, Friday Five, Home, Joy, Resolutions on June 2, 2023| Leave a Comment »

“Home wasn’t a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.” – Sarah Dessen, from What Happened to Goodbye

In exploring the concept of home, I’ve noticed that certain things stand out to me. For the rest of the year, a few of our Friday Fives are going to focus on books and think pieces that have sparked reflections about some of those things. 

  1. Shawn Smucker’s piece On the Road Again – “Now that I”m 46, homesickness is more of an ache for the place and the people where I belong, where I fit.” I spent most of last weekend on my parents’ farm, with a brief stint at the cousin’s place to attend a graduation party for his oldest child who is now an actual grown-up. [Aside – WHAT. I swear he was just born a minute ago.] It was so good to catch up with the extended family I came from, and we’re going to need to do that more often. I also really love coming back to Denton after a weekend away, though. Walking into my messy apartment where everything is mine and is just where I left it gives me a special kind of peace.
  2. The Secret of Poppyridge Cove by Rimmy London – Should you use an inheritance to buy a great house that comes with some land and a private beach entrance but that is also possibly haunted and/or frequented by a (maybe) serial killer? I know the “responsible” answer to this fantasy scenario is probably no, especially when the money is not all in the bank account quite yet, but then I had to keep turning up the volume on this audiobook to hear it over my upstairs neighbors and their cute dogs committing the grievous act of walking across the room in their own apartment, so WHERE DO I SIGN?! I am inspiring/torturing myself with a lot of books lately that revolve around the act of buying a home and making it yours (even if there are bumps and possibly corpses along the way). I liked both this one and A Traitor at Poppyridge Cove, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the series.
  3. The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg – I’m not saying that, when I retire, I’m going to put everything in storage and just drive until I find the town and house I want to live in, but this book makes a good argument for it. I really enjoyed it. Yes, as a couple of the online reviews state, it does read a little bit like a Hallmark Christmas movie (minus the Christmas). But there are so many poignant moments about grief and friendship and delicious food and community that it might have well had my name in the title because clearly it was written for me.  It wasn’t just finding a place to land that helped the main character through her grief but also remembering to find joy in small, ordinary pleasures and with the people who showed up alongside her. I could use that reminder myself from time to time. 
  4. I love the way Christie Purifoy writes about place. In this guest post, she pursues the answer to the question, “What if our homes could be places that bring us back to life?” I love being at home, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things I want to get done there. I get started with one project and then have to work or be somewhere else, so it takes longer than I would like to make a dent or a difference. But at other times, I look out my patio door at the tiny garden that is thriving, or I sit in my office among my books and glance up to see one I’d forgotten I had, and I’m filled with gratitude for this little space of mine. More of these life-giving moments, please.
  5. How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis – This is the book I didn’t even know I needed right now. Usually with advice-laden books, I take notes because 1) that’s my best learning style, and 2) I want a succinct list of highlights to review later. I didn’t do that with this one because it’s short and I own it so I just decided to tab the pages. I have so many tabbed spots. It’s the tabbing equivalent of highlighting the whole book. But at just over 150 pages (if you include the appendix and the acknowledgments), it’s so rich in information. My favorite takeaway is that care tasks (whether for home or self) are morally neutral. You are not a better or worse person/adult based on how much you get done. I want this lesson to permeate my whole life this year. I already know it in my head but my heart and soul take a minute to catch up.

I’m very much looking forward to an easy weekend. Rest. Recoup. Also, dishes and maybe dusting. Putting some of those principles from Davis’s book into practice.

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