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Archive for the ‘Lament’ Category

I am still a toddler at following the liturgical calendar, and I’m not very good at it yet. This year, about mid-October, I thought to myself, “Self, Advent starts soon. You should start early – make your calendar, find your books, buy your candles. That way you won’t feel rushed.” And I did. I made this:

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And the finished product:

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It looks a little baby shower-ish, but we’re expecting the Christ child here, so I felt that was appropriate. I felt good about my progress.

Then time sped up.

So now it’s the first week of Advent, which is my favorite season because I know what longing is and usually have a lot to say about it. I’m reading the things and lighting the candles (which are the wrong color – because it’s actually pretty hard to find Advent candles here. War on Christmas, my ass. Christmas is fricking everywhere.), and going to the services (which has kept me sane this week). And I’m fighting not to settle for autopilot because it would be so easy to check out mentally and emotionally and barrel through, waiting until it is over to be human again. I’m just barely making it.

But I have had a little help from a few places this week.

  1. Annie Leibovitz is the photographer for the 2016 Pirelli calendar.  And it’s going to be amazing. I need to become royalty so I can get this calendar.
  2. The #BodiesMatter hashtag and Suzannah Paul’s piece on Faith Feminisms.
  3. Jamaal May’s poem The Gun Joke could have been written yesterday, but it wasn’t. Ponder.
  4. Ten great books by women that were overlooked in 2015. My reading list just gets longer and longer.
  5. And thank you Abby and Amy. I needed this so bad – ten ways to be unproductive and stay sane this season.

What’s helping you today?

 

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This Friday, “five” is more of a guideline than a rule. Here is my online week in snippets:

1. Of course, I am upset about Cecil the Lion. Dentist Guy, an apology is not enough. I need you to get a whole new personality and do some jail time. I am fascinated by the outrage over the outrage. On the one hand, it’s okay to care about multiple things. That’s a thing humans can do. Caring about Cecil doesn’t mean that we don’t care about abortion (although I do feel compelled to question people who say they’re against abortion and want to shut down Planned Parenthood altogether, as knowledge of and access to affordable contraception – both of which are services they offer on a more comprehensive level than any other agency – is positively correlated with both lower teen pregnancy rates AND lower abortion rates), and it doesn’t mean that we don’t care about the lost human lives that are also eating up my news feed. On the other hand, if you are sadder over a lion than you were over Charleston or Chattanooga, that’s a problem and you need to fix it. Don’t know where to start? Clicky and start here. And Roxane Gay is my favorite person this week – “I’m personally going to start wearing a lion costume when I leave my house so if I get shot, people will care.”

2. I am heartsick over the death of Samuel DuBose. I suppose I should feel happy that it seems it is being dealt with, but all I can feel is heartsick. I am heartsick over the death of Darrell S. Murphy. I’m tired of these ridiculous deaths and the extreme, systemic prejudice that is at the root of them. I can’t stop listening and cocoon myself in my privilege, though, because desensitization is worse than heartsick.

3. The sheer volume of misinformation and baseless conclusion jumping on Facebook this week (or any week, for that matter) is exhausting.  The one that sticks out most is a Buzzfeed post making the rounds about a 17-year-old disgruntled ex-JC Penney employee claiming body shaming because they asked her to go home and change before her shift.

My annoyance is threefold.

First, this is not body shaming. It is an employer asking an employee to represent the company the way the leaders of the company want it to be represented (which, by the way, is what employees are paid to do). The issue is not that they thought her clothing was bad; the issue is that the clothing violated their dress code for employees on the clock. Aspiring feminist children – while I applaud you standing up for yourself, don’t just throw out hot button terms (especially ones that aren’t relevant to your situation) and run away. That makes you look uninformed, not brave.

Second, if real change is what you are going for (and if you’re going to use the label “feminist,” I’m gonna need real change to be your goal), there are concrete ways of getting that done. Don’t like their dress code? Draft a petition, complete with well-reasoned arguments that go beyond “I should get to do what I want,” to have it changed. Schedule a meeting with your manager to talk about it and see if s/he can put your ideas before someone who has the power to actually do something about it. Leaving in a huff and quitting without proper notice makes you a bad employee, not an activist.

Third, don’t sell out for clickbait and squander your chance to make a good point. There are elements of this story worth being upset about. She could have called for the need for better training resources so that others in the future could avoid the embarrassment this incident caused her. Because under the false bravado, that seems to be what she’s really upset about – she got in trouble for something that she didn’t know was against policy. She wasn’t trying to defy the company’s standards; she just wasn’t properly trained regarding them. And that’s a problem JC Penney should want to resolve. You can’t just hand part-time employees – of any age – a manual, tell them to read it on their own time, and realistically expect to be able to hold them accountable for it. That’s terrible management. She also could have focused on the actual discriminatory practice of sending her home while letting the guys get away with violating the policy. That’s the point I personally would have made. But I would have stayed and made it. Now, all that’s going to come from this is her fifteen minutes of fame from being the subject of a Buzzfeed post. What a waste of a golden opportunity.

THIS IS WHY WE NEED TO REQUIRE SPEECH AND DEBATE FOR HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE STUDENTS. So that they learn how to make an argument and stand up for themselves and others in a way that actually makes a difference and so that they grow into voting citizens who also know how to do that.

4. I love Cara Delevingne. I loved her awkward interview, and I love John Green’s defense of it.

5. How do we INTJs defy our stereotype of being narcissistic know-it-alls? By being open-minded and wanting to hear all the things from all the people, even if we disagree with them. YEP. Also, the line “indisputably aware of their own intelligence” made me giggle. Also yep.

6. And finally, this is the thing that made me laugh the hardest this week – Glennon Doyle Melton’s post “I’m Not Sassy, I’m Suzanne.” In related news, I need this mug.

What stories stuck out to you this week?

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Don’t Go Blind

My personal life is scrambled and crazy this week, and it would probably be better for my sanity and anxiety levels to just shut out social media and not pay attention and let some things slide by unnoticed. But there are things I can’t ignore, even when much of the news does.

Kindra Darnell Chapman was found dead in her cell in Alabama after being arrested on robbery charges. If you Google this one, click on the news link at the top, because the straight up web searches will make you pray for another flood. Actually, if you are of the opinion that racism isn’t a thing that happens very often any more, go ahead and click on some of those vile links of asshollery that show up and learn.

This was a day after Sandra Bland was found dead in her jail cell in Texas, where she was brought after a traffic stop. I’m gonna need Texas cops to stop kneeling on top of black women they’ve thrown to the ground. Get it together, Texas. I’m also going to need this to be investigated by an outside party. Because that’s how justice works. You can’t get an objective, fair assessment by doing the investigation in-house. We need someone who doesn’t have Texas pride at the heart of their inquiry to look into this. It’s not a turf issue; it’s a fairness issue. Sign this petition if you agree.

Fight the urge to go blind to these things. Read a lot. Listen a lot. If something you read upsets you, don’t just assume it’s wrong – ask yourself why it upsets you.

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Charleston

Grieving. Charleston, I am not there with you, but I’m praying with you.

If you need a liturgy, I recommend Reverend Wil Gafney and Nayyirah Waheed’s salt. This article lists the names of the deceased.

Pray their names.

Some are praying for peace. My prayers sound more like the Psalmist’s – “Peace can wait, God. Go on and shatter his teeth.” I want this guy dealt with.

I would pray restoration, but…restore to what? As long as black churches have existed in our country, they have been under attack. When it comes to safety for the black community, there aren’t any good old days to go back to. This is not an isolated event. This terrorism is woven into the thread of our country. I’m praying for scissors to cut the thread.

God – bring down heaven, and teach me how to help.

To give financial support, visit the church’s website.

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