Joy | M. Suzanne Terry

Archive for the ‘Joy’ Category

Day 10 – Share Friday Fives

Posted in 31 Days, Fandom, Food, Fun, Joy, TV on December 18, 2020| Leave a Comment »

“The miracle is this – the more we share, the more we have.”
-Leonard Nimoy

So today was the last workday of the year for me. I have been counting down HOURLY. I have never been more excited about having a little time off. The week has been fairly busy but not too much, and that’s good because I’ve just been too excited to focus as well as I usually do/at all in any way. I spent the afternoon finalizing student withdrawals and making sure I had everything ready for when I come back on January 4. And now it’s officially done.

All this is to say that I haven’t really had the extra focus I needed to post about joy every day, so we get to prolong the magic of this series probably into the new year. I mean, I’m still hoping my elusive industrious self will resurface over the next couple of weeks (once I’m well-rested again) and thus that I can double up on some days and finish in time. But just like sending Christmas cards or some of my Advent calendar things that feel more like busy work than anything helpful this year, I’m going to actually take the advice I frequently give others and let some of the things that don’t have to happen slide. When you’re juggling 14 balls at a time, it’s ok if some of them drop (My INTJ/Enneagram 5 brain PASSIONATELY disagrees, but I plan on feeding it pasta pretty soon to appease it).

A practice that I started one year when I wanted to make sure I posted at least once a week (heh – remember those days, some of you? Good times.) was Friday Five. I would choose five things I saw on the internet that week that made me think, made me believe in humanity a little bit more, or just gave me joy, and I would share them with my readers. To my delight, what I found is that the act of sharing these things was itself a joy. In sharing them, I got to relive them, and I got to imagine the happiness they might bring to other people.

So here is today’s Friday Five – five things I saw on the internet this week/month that I hope can give you a fun start to your weekend. And yes, to share some joy.

For fans of Schitt’s Creek (and if you aren’t yet, Netflix binge it and become one and you’re welcome) – a little Christmas treat.
This Twitter thread – spoiler alert, a lonely little girl finds out fairies are real and gets to meet one.
Just in case you’re wondering how to wrap a goat for Christmas (you could be…I don’t know your life)…in related news, I am open to accepting gift-wrapped goats for Christmas.
Tabitha Brown is a treasure. When she posts her videos, I feel like she understands my sadness and wants me to know that it’s ok to feel sad but I also sort of feel like she knows how to fix it and I would trust her to do so. I want to support everything she ever does.
Jen Hatmaker making risotto is the recipe-writing style to which I aspire. Best line? “Have you ever thought, ‘This has too much butter and cheese in it?’ No you haven’t. Don’t get weird.”

Enjoy these posts and your weekend!

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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Day 9 – Make Comfort Food

Posted in 31 Days, Food, Joy on December 16, 2020| 2 Comments »

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
― **Virginia Woolf**

I was resigned at the beginning of the week to scavenging the remnants of my pantry to piece together snackish meals until I can get to the store on Thursday, but then the cold snap persisted, and I really needed soup. So instead of peanut butter and pretzel crisps, I scavenged up the fixings for this chickpea concoction. Two cans of chickpeas (out of the 12 in my pantry. WHY do I have so many? I do not know. What were you planning, former self?), a can of fire-roasted tomatoes, the frozen onion/bell pepper blend I keep on hand for emergencies, cauliflower, and a healthy dash of garam masala later, and I had a warm stew that was just what I needed.

What constitutes comfort food is different for everyone. My criteria used to include gobs of cheese, but since dairy decided about 10 years ago that it wasn’t my biggest fan, I have had to adjust. I still eat cheese, and some of those recipes are still on the list, but it now also includes others, like hearty vegan stews.

I tried to list criteria by thinking about what I consider comfort food. Does it need to be warm? Savory? Sweet? Healthy? Buttery? I think I like too many things to narrow down what will be comforting at any given moment. To point, here are some of my standard comforts:

Popcorn
Soup
Grilled cheese sandwiches (really…any sandwich)
Ice cream
Cheese and crackers
Good bread and butter
Tator tots with an over-easy egg on top
Pasta with parmesan

Many people will suggest that, if you are in need of a particular boost, you make your meal an occasion. Even if it’s just you, use the good plates and napkins, sit at the table. Eat slowly, perhaps by candlelight and with good music playing. I do this occasionally, but really? This can feel like a lot of work. Which I guess is sort of the point. It is a lot of work, and you are worth the effort.

You know what else I’m worth? Not creating more, unnecessary work for myself and eating in the comfy chair covered in a warm blanket where I can have dinner with my favorite TV characters. That sounds amazing.

There is a reason that comfort and joy are often paired. Comfort gives you rest from the work you’re doing, and joy gives you the motivation to get back to it. Rest is essential. It’s important enough in and of itself, but it also ensures that you are refreshed and energized for what the next day holds. So much of the work that people do, particularly those who are laboring for change and trying to build a better world, is emotionally and mentally exhausting. Joy reminds you why you’re doing the work – to make lives better and increase joy overall.

Comfort is such a relief, particularly when days are hard, that it immediately creates joy. This is something I want to remember when I brush off my needs in order to get one more thing done. I’m missing an opportunity for joy.

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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Day 8 – Seek and Find

Posted in 31 Days, Church, Joy on December 14, 2020| 2 Comments »

“The spirit of the Lord is upon me…to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners…” – Isaiah 61:1-2

“Today is the Sunday of joy.”

This is the first thing the pastor said this morning in his sermon. I usually do my daily Advent activity at night, so I had forgotten that this is the week we focus specifically on joy in the liturgy. All throughout the service on Zoom, there seemed to be an emphasis on seeking it out that carried over from the annual meeting we held the hour before. This was a hard year to recap and put a tidy bow on, but it was easy to find joy in these people with whom I worship, who avoid neither hard truths nor practical, hopeful solutions, who have patiently and faithfully made all the adjustments we’ve asked of them this year and keep showing up online and responding with grace and exuberant generosity.

I know I talk about my church and mention faith in passing, but I don’t say I’m a Christian a lot because wow, the baggage. It’s a lot to unpack. Part of that baggage is the pull of the prosperity gospel that is popular in many circles, particularly in our culture. The name-it-and-claim-it, ask-and-you-shall-receive, vending machine Jesus where you put in a prayer and walk away #blessed. The “you just need to pray harder” message. And the inevitable flip side of the coin that quips if there is a God, then why is the vending machine so broken? Why is the world the way it is and why do bad things happen to good people (or for that matter, why do good things happen to bad people)? If you’ve been hammered with these messages, it can be hard to find joy even when it’s the theme of the day.

To be fair, this sentiment doesn’t come out of nowhere. “Ask and you shall receive” wasn’t lifted off a bumper sticker; it’s straight out of the gospels. And it’s got backup:
– If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray, I will answer and heal their land.
– If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you will and it will be done.
– My God shall supply all your needs according to the riches in Christ Jesus (riches which, of course, the Bible teaches are unfathomably abundant or even limitless).

There’s a whole lot of “If A then B” going on in the scriptures.

Fortunately, this isn’t the whole story. Good news for me, because if it were, I’d be firmly in the second camp, unable to believe in a god who chooses to withhold resources and dole them out stingily based on a whim or performance or prayerful hoop-jumping. I’m interested in the scandalously extravagant God who pours out the wealth without feeling the insecure need to micromanage what we do with it (overbearing, controlling father metaphors? No, thank you.). My faith means seeing other people as the very image of God. This, too, is risky, because sometimes we people act like garbage, and that does not reflect well on any deity who would have us believe they are love.

But when I look for it, I get a glimpse of joy in actions born of that unfathomable abundance that we often try to keep locked up as only something God can access in order to avoid our own responsibilities to each other – to set captives free, to right every wrong, to feed and clothe and house and heal. It’s in every person. We don’t always see it or act accordingly and thus *gestures broadly* But I believe it’s there.

I contain unfathomable abundance. You contain unfathomable abundance.

This has been a hard weekend that followed a hard week (month…year…decade?). Seeking and finding joy has been and remains a difficult task. But yesterday, there were hours spent online with friends, sometimes talking but mostly just hanging out in the ASMR of some of us baking, some of us making art, some of us writing. And there is a church that doesn’t require me to sit quietly or to stuff everything and everyone I love into a box but instead encourages me to keep speaking up. And there are local activists, artists, and business owners who bond together to ensure mutual thriving and to bring our little corner of the world closer to what it would look like if all were true and right. And there are baked goods and rosewater that show up at my front door. And cards that come in the mail. And coffee. And candlelight.

Hello, joy. There you are.

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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Day 7 – Dance

Posted in 31 Days, Dance, Joy on December 12, 2020| Leave a Comment »

“What we want from modern dance is courage and audacity.”
“If a thing moves, it lives.”
– Twyla Tharp

I may have written this post before, and I don’t want to do a strict rehash. It’s not always easy to articulate how dance relates to joy, because…it just does? It seems too obvious, maybe? We leap for joy. Joy seems to be inherent in spirited movement.

Except when it’s not. When you have so much anguish built up that you feel trapped in your body. You have to release it or burst. So dance can be angstful (full of angst? I like angstful better) and angry and all the things we may think of as the antithesis of joy.

Dance can be many things. It can be happiness. It can be frustration. It can be catharsis. It can be release. It’s both/and. It’s holding all the realities in the same hand.

It can start with muscle memory but it doesn’t stay there. Dance is always at least partially now.

I love the way that dance immediately pulls me not only into the present but also connects me to all that has come before. Into the body I have now but also into the memory of just how much my body has done before. How much it can do. How much it still has to discover.

Dance can be possibility. Dance forms dreams and gives shape to progress.

Dance can be joy.

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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Day 6 – Find Color

Posted in 31 Days, Beauty, Joy on December 9, 2020| Leave a Comment »

“Color is my day-long obsession, joy, and torment” – Claude Monet

I bought myself this painting on my 34th birthday. It’s super simple, and I’m not sure how well you can tell here, but the colors are bold and bright, and the flowers that look like etching are actually embroidery that the artist painted over. I had been eyeing it at my favorite local coffee shop at the time (RIP, Art 6) for a while, and when I went in for my celebratory fluffy drink, on a whim, I looked at the price. I expected it to be out of my price range but it wasn’t. So instead of just picking up an And She Snickers with an extra shot of espresso, I picked up a painting, too.

I brought it home and hung it immediately.

I have never considered myself a particularly visual person, but being a bit more isolated than usual for most of this year, I have been noticing how much my mood is helped by little pops of color. The most colorful room in my apartment is my office/library, and it also seems to be the room where I am the happiest. One might assume this is because I am surrounded by books, and while it’s true that that is very much what I imagine Heaven must be like, the abundance of color also has something to do with it.

(ignore the mess – observe the cuteness)

When someone asks what my favorite color is, I never have a real answer. I will say something like, “Today, it’s red,” because I like the way the shirt they’re wearing gives their skin a warm glow. Or I’ll point to something multi-colored and say, “Probably one of those.” I like all the colors, and while I have distinct preferences about where I like some colors (e.g., no yellow near my face, please – it makes me look like I’m dying), there’s no color that I absolutely detest. I find bright and deep, bold colors especially invigorating.

Especially joyful.

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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Day 5 – Make Something

Posted in 31 Days, Beauty, Joy on December 8, 2020| 1 Comment »

“Beauty is whatever gives joy.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay

I have been a knitter for years, but it has taken on a life of its own during this pandemic. My knitting has become like my writing in that I have several projects started (at least one for each room of the apartment, because God forbid I actually move them with me when I change spaces). I am about a third of the way through a blanket for a friend and almost halfway through a box sweater that matches the cozy aesthetic I long to cultivate.

The glorious and hideous thing you see above is a patchwork blanket I’ve been making by knitting remnants of yarn and then piecing them together. It was just going to be a lap throw, but I significantly underestimated the sheer volume of yarn that I had that was too much to throw away but not enough to really make anything. So it just keeps growing. I wore it around my shoulders during my morning check-in with my supervisor who then insisted that it needed to make an appearance at the staff meeting later that day. It’s now the official home office blanket.

Creating something almost always brings me joy. Even if it doesn’t turn out as I planned, the creative process itself energizes me. While it’s not necessarily a cure-all for my frequent funks, it does seem to help me come up for air a bit. I guess that’s what joy is supposed to do. It’s a little light to see by.

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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Day 4 – Play With Animals

Posted in 31 Days, Joy on December 4, 2020| Leave a Comment »

“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.” – Colette

I had a hard time narrowing down pictures for these posts. I have so many animal friends, and we loooooove each other. If they could read, I would give each one of them a shoutout. As they cannot, please just give your animals a pet from me and tell them that I love them.

One of the best joys of visiting the farm is seeing Lola and Jake.

Lola moved to the farm about a decade ago. She was living with friends in Denton, but she kept getting out and they were afraid they’d turn around to wrangle the toddler and she’d turn up missing (or worse). So this best girl came home with me one holiday and fell in love with the farm and Mom and Dad and never left (good thing this was the plan because she refused to get back in the car). Growing up, we were not allowed to bring pets inside. Today, Lola has her own bed indoors and gets her own personal egg cooked to her taste. She goes outside every time Mom does (which is often when the weather is warm), and I like knowing that Lola is watching out for her.

This fall, Jake joined the family. He showed up as a stray, but it’s clear that he’s been around people. Usually when this happens, Dad will call around to the neighbors to see if anyone is missing a dog. When I asked what the neighbors said when he called, his non-answer was “I named him Jake.” He then proceeded to laugh so hard he started wheezing as he told me that he chose the name because Jake from State Farm wears khakis…and the dog has khaki spots. (My dad is super cute) I did finally confirm that he had called the closest neighbors and found out that Jake had been to visit them, too, but they couldn’t find anyone who was missing him. So I’m only about 89% certain that my parents haven’t stolen someone else’s dog, but too late – he lives there now. He does not have frequent indoor privileges – Lola needs a break every once in a while – but he loves his backyard and his own special bed on top of (not inside it – the little weirdo) the dog house.

Spending time with animal friends is calming. I am allergic, and I just don’t care. I can take a Claritin. The mood boost and the joy they bring is worth a few sneezes.

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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Day 3 – Go Outside

Posted in 31 Days, Joy on December 3, 2020| Leave a Comment »

“Let the beauty of sunrise keep your heart warm.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

This is my favorite place in the world to watch the sunrise. The west Texas sky is so broad and vast. I imagine the sky is like that everywhere, but on the Texas plains, you can see actually see it.

I was home to check in on the folks at Thanksgiving. After a few weeks of more intense isolation than usual and an intense COVID-19 test (negative), I got to see Mom and Dad in 3D. We ate a lot of good food, watched a lot of westerns and football, and spent some time outside.

I grew up in a house next to 100+ acres of farmland and a small canyon behind it. We didn’t explore much without Dad close by (wild hogs are not to be trifled with), but we would venture down often enough to know our way around.

I am fond of the indoors. I like air conditioning and being able to sit without my hair constantly blowing into my face and breathing air relatively free of allergens. I am hyper-sensitive to touch and sound and there’s a lot of both outside. Playing outside is good for children, though, so we spent a lot of our childhood in the backyard. Sometimes, Mom would actually lock us out (which is something you can do when you have a huge back window where you can see everything and you live in the middle of nowhere with dogs that are happy to alert you if anything or anyone approaches).

I staged my silent protest by sneaking a book out and reading it on the swing.

Tactile and auditory irritants aside, sometimes I miss being able to walk outside and automatically be in nature in my backyard. To watch a sunrise in peace. To listen to the windchimes sing. To stare at the moon and stars without having to maneuver around buildings.

Any time I need a little touch of joy, I go find some sky.

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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Day Two – Books

Posted in 31 Days, Books, Joy on December 1, 2020| 2 Comments »

*“A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the dark*ness, leading out into the expanding universe.” – Madeleine L’Engle

I hope it’s no surprise by this point that I love to read. I easily spend 10-15 hours a week doing so. People often ask how I manage to read so many books. That’s how. There’s no trick. Just time.

Well, ok. There are a couple of tricks. I listen to audiobooks when I’m driving or when I’m doing something with my hands that doesn’t require a lot of concentration, such as knitting or folding laundry. I didn’t used to like audiobooks, but this year, I have really embraced them. I didn’t really enjoy being read to before, but now I find it soothing. I also read poetry quite a bit, and while I read poems more slowly than prose, the volumes tend to be shorter with fewer words on the page, so technically I finish these books more quickly.

I make a lofty goal to read a certain number of books every year, and while I rarely reach that particular number, just having it in mind inspires me to read more each year than I did the year before. So far this year, I’ve read 81 books (that I’ve remembered to track on Goodreads), so I would need to read 39 this month to reach my goal of 120. Not likely. But with three mostly free weekends and two weeks off from my full-time job, I should be able to top my final total from last year (103) if I try.

Books are more than an escape. They open me up to new ideas and possibilities, which is particularly useful when my world is feeling small. They serve as warning, camaraderie, challenge, solidarity, empathy, and fun. They spark interest in obscure topics and show me the kind of writer I want (or sometimes don’t want) to be. They give me a peek into others’ lives and ways so that my view of the world doesn’t have to be limited to my own little corner of it.

They bring me joy.

Starting this month and through 2021, I am going to add at least one book a month to my TBR pile that has the word “joy” in the title. A book does not have to have the word in the title to be about chasing joy, of course, but this gives me a place to start. My first selection is a re-read of C.S. Lewis’s Surprised by Joy. It’s been a decade (maybe two?) since I first read it, so it will be interesting to see how my perspective has changed. I remember loving it.

I’m writing about chasing joy for the 31 days of December. Click here to see the whole list.

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31 Days of Joy – An Overview

Posted in 31 Days, Joy, Resolutions on December 1, 2020| 2 Comments »

“Because in trying to articulate what, perhaps, joy is, it has occurred to me that among other things—the trees and the mushrooms have shown me this—joy is the mostly invisible, the underground union between us, you and me, which is, among other things, the great fact of our life and the lives of everyone and thing we love going away. If we sink a spoon into that fact, into the duff between us, we will find it teeming. It will look like all the books ever written. It will look like all the nerves in a body. We might call it sorrow, but we might call it a union, one that, once we notice it, once we bring it into the light, might become flower and food. Might be joy.” From The Book of Delights by Ross Gay

I choose a word for every year. This is the word I focus on for that year and look for ways to embody the word more or pay better attention to how it shows up in my life. Sometimes, the word of the year brings a lot of insight and I get a lot out of it (the year of wild). Sometimes, the word seems almost like a practical joke (*ahem* 2020’s “alive,” although even it has had its moments).

I almost always know what my word for the upcoming year is going to be by October or November, and this year is no exception. And, as per my usual, as soon as I know, I start noticing it when it shows up and thinking about it. But when I kept hearing “joy” this year, I felt disappointed. I am not feeling much joy these days. When something is challenging, though, I tend to take that as confirmation that it’s probably a thought or action worth pursuing, so I’m going to give it a chance.

I’m going to pursue joy.

What I have learned so far is that joy is indeed something I have to intentionally seek in order to find it. It’s not my first go-to. It’s not even my tenth go-to. I see patterns and connections really easily, so my gut reaction is typically “Let’s make a list of all the obstacles that could come up so that we’re prepared to deal with them” rather than “Oh happy opportunity!”

My hopeful suspicion is that joy is possible in both. From what I’ve seen and read (because of course I have) so far, it seems that joy doesn’t require the absence of hardship but rather can live right alongside it. So that’s good news.

To get a jumpstart on the year, I’m going to be posting 31 days of joy – how I find it, what it looks like to me, etc. I’ll keep a table of contents below for reference as I post each new ponderance, but I hope you’ll follow along and offer any insights you have to share. Enjoy!

Day 1 – Overview
Day 2 – Read Books
Day 3 – Go Outside
Day 4 – Play With Animals
Day 5 – Make Something
Day 6 – Find Color
Day 7 – Dance
Day 8 – Seek and Find
Day 9 – Make Comfort Food
Day 10 – Share Friday Fives
Day 11 – Rest
Day 12 – Anticipate