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Archive for the ‘Joy’ Category

Besides my sister, there is only one friend I grew up with about whom I can say we are even closer today than we were back then.

That friend is Sarah.

We went to school together in Childress, and we hung out at school (and outside of it, too, when I was allowed). Even then, she was perpetually cool and always up for an adventure. We had very different experiences growing up, but Sarah has always been someone who can be trusted with my hopes and dreams (even when those dreams are a romance novel I wrote in 6th grade).

(Photo credit – ? Did Stephen take this picture?)

Years went by, and we saw each other around Denton occasionally, but then she invited me to a book club at her house. A chance to reconnect – and over books?! Of course, I’m in! I’m so glad she thought to include me, because the book club is wonderful, but even more than that, because she reached out, today I get to count her among my closest friends.

One of my favorite things about Sarah is her encyclopedic knowledge of so many fascinating people and things. I loooove learning new things, and I always learn something new around her. Without Sarah, I would not know…

…what deep listening is.

…that Booked Up (RIP) ever existed or half as much about Larry McMurtry (also RIP) as I know now.

…about Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s podcast Wiser Than Me. I’ve only listened to her interviews with Jane Fonda, Isabel Allende, and Ruth Reichl (three people, by the way, who would be in my top ten most coveted interviewees if I were to host such a podcast), and I’m hooked.

…and so much more. Sarah has a way of recommending things to me that she knows I’ll love. She’s an incredible listener and has an amazing memory. I can listen to her for hours.

(Photo credit – Kara Dry)

She is the first person I performed with at a Spiderweb event. In fact, she’s the first person I performed with (outside of church, if you count that) since grad school. I love collaborating with her; I think we work together pretty well.

Sarah is generous with her knowledge, her time, her home, and her coffee.

And her pets.

She’s one of the only people who has a standing invitation to my parents’ farm “whether I come with her or not,” according to Dad.

Sarah, I love you, and I’m so proud of you and all you have accomplished. You inspire me and feed me and love me so well, and I’m lucky we’re friends.

Also – shameless plug – everyone go to Molten Plains Fest in December. This is the second year Sarah and Ernesto have organized it, and it’s going to be AMAZING.

I love you, friend, and I hope your birthday (and every day) is fantastic.

(Photo credit – Ellie Alonzo)

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Fall Fun List

It was 67 degrees outside this morning. I mean, it’s already hotter and is still going to get up into the 90s today. BUT IT WAS 67 DEGREES THIS MORNING YAY.

Of all the seasons, I love fall the most. I wish Texas got more of it. It’s a busy season, though. So I’m taking a page out of Joy the Baker‘s book and making myself a fall bucket list. Except I’m calling it a fall fun list, because 1) alliteration, and 2) when I hear the word “list” every ounce of ambition I have rises up in me and soon I just have another list of chores to do. That’s not the energy we’re going for here. I want to take the time to notice the leaves changing and enjoy it. And also maybe come out of my heat-induced social slump a little.

So here are a few things I love doing in the fall and hope to enjoy in the next few months:

  • Baking something with apples in it
  • Making delicious soups
  • Using fresh bread from the bakery as a utensil for eating homemade soup
  • Taking walks
  • Sitting around a fire with friends
  • Drinking all the warm beverages (except pumpkin spice anywhere near my coffee – I’ll leave those for y’all- please enjoy)
  • Listening to live music outside while drinking a warm beverage (and maybe there’s also a fire or heater nearby)
  • Getting new boots
  • Exploring cozy spots in town (alone or with friends)

This is not an exhaustive list, but it’s a good start. What are some things you enjoy doing in the fall?

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It’s been a little cooler here this week, and I am freaking out about it (in a good way). I even broke out the tall boots. Is it still too warm for tall boots? Of course. Do I care? Not even a little bit. It’s already autumn in my head. No take-backs.

Here are a few things I enjoyed this week. Hope you enjoy them as well!

  • I just got a new mattress this week, and I love it. Best sleep I’ve had in years. I have been hesitant to try a memory foam option because the topper I had long ago felt stifling, but the technology has clearly come a long way. 
  • Last night was Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Fall Book Preview, and it was so much fun. I enjoyed hearing about the books she’s excited about this season.
  • In fact, this whole week has been full of bookish events. I had two book club meetings on Tuesday (one at work, one in the evening), and I always enjoy those. Emily Henry’s Happy Place was the topic of discussion with my work folks, and it was fun to take a little break from our serious jobs to dish about this rom-com and all the miscommunication between the characters. “Just talk to each other!” was definitely exclaimed at least four times. I love meeting new people who are as passionate about reading a wide variety of books as I am.
  • Another book I finished was the audio of Mycroft Holmes, written by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Anna Waterhouse. It’s the first in this particular series, and I enjoyed their spin on this classic character. I’m in the middle of listening to the second one, Mycroft and Sherlock, and I think I like it even better (which makes sense, as Sherlock Holmes is one of my favorite literary characters). They also bring out some key points in history and weave them into the stories really well, and the overall tone is not identical but includes a few nice nods to the original. 
  • Companion Piece by Ali Smith goes with her seasons series, and it’s the perfect…end? Each of the other books had a seasonal theme, but this one centered on an expanded view of the concept of season with characters encountering both the impact and continuing aftermath of Covid. She also played with time in this one by reverting to the days of the Black Plague with one section of the story, drawing parallels between the two sections. The language was beautiful and there was a wealth of absurdity throughout, which are two of the things I adore about Smith’s writing in general. 

I hope you have a good day and a good weekend!

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I love that the last Friday in August is here. I know that there’s no magical off switch for all the busyness and the horrible heat and the general ARGH of my most stressful month of the year when the date changes to September, but it feels like there is. Y’all – I take my relief and my peace any way I can get it, even if it’s just through the story I’m making up in my head.

Here are some of the ways I’ve been reflecting on my theme of home this month.

  • I love the meandering path of this piece on minimalism. Minimalism is a nice concept but also can be judgy and steeped in privilege and is often a thinly veiled excuse for even more shopping (and thus the inevitable accrual of more things, which one might argue is the exact opposite of the true spirit of minimalism). As someone who appreciates minimalism as an idea (and omg I love Marie Kondo) but leans more toward cozy and whimsical in decorating a home/office/patio that actually feels like a home to me, I have had every single one of the feelings the writer describes.
  • Speaking of accruing things, Bed, Bath, and Beyond is all online now that they have closed/are closing all their stores, and I am riveted. I look at this website at least once a day. I have yet to buy anything because these days I get stressed about the prospect of actually spending money on anything, even if I need it (a positive swing in my spendy attitude but also I could stand to dial back the trepidation a little – I’m sure in time it will balance). But I’m making plans. So. Many. Plans. I need a new mattress, and I want to upgrade some of my chairs in the apartment over the course of the next couple of years. And this table is so cute and functional. I love it when things are both.
  • “What if we understood our lists as menus instead?” But seriously. WHAT IF WE UNDERSTOOD OUR LISTS AS MENUS INSTEAD!?! I resonated with this piece so much that my eyes welled up with tears. My life, my home, my writing, my reading (etc.) are all governed by a series of lists. Reading this essay took a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t know I was carrying. If you have a love-hate relationship with the to-do lists (or the TBR list) in your life, consider the perspective of Oliver Burkeman (The Imperfectionist – also love that blog title and I’m a little mad that I didn’t think of it first). I also love the tagline on the main page “…building a meaningful life in an age of bewilderment.” You know what, let’s just sign up for the newsletter. I feel like I need more bold imperfection in my inbox.
  • I love these reflections on home compiled by Amy Studarus as featured on Shondaland, especially the ones that talk about helping others make their home dreams a reality. I like the way we are all connected by our own concepts of home and what that means, even when we mean very different things. One of my favorite things about having a theme word for each year is gathering the wisdom of others who have given it more thought than I have and thus have had time to put that thought into action. I like seeing how their reflections are playing out.
  • Even though my current kitchen is the least favorite kitchen I’ve ever had, it’s still an important part of my home and one I spend a lot of my waking hours in. In my 31 days series coming up in October, I am going to talk about the foods and recipes that remind me of home, whether that means the farm where I grew up or one of the places I’ve lived since then. I strongly connect food to the places and people I love, and I am looking forward to hashing that out a bit in writing. In the meantime, I am reading cookbooks and kitchen memoirs and foodie fiction, gleaning inspiration on how I want to present my thoughts on the meals that hold special meaning for me. Joy the Baker is one of my favorite people who write about food, and her post about this summer’s peach crisp is a good example of why. She starts off with a short personal reflection (i.e., she actually blogs on her food blog, which is inexplicably a source of contention for many people, which I will address in my anchor post on October 1). Then she explains what makes this recipe stand out among others of its kind and goes through the role that each ingredient plays. This is my favorite part of her posts, because as long as I’ve been cooking and baking, I still usually learn something. She’s not just handing us a recipe – she’s teaching us why it works, which ultimately helps us, her readers, become more confident and more adventurous in our own kitchens at home. I love that.

Friends, I hope you are having a good day, and I wish you a relaxing weekend!

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June has been a pretty good month, all things considered. I mean, weather and legislation are gross, because Texas. And my dad had to put our dog Lola down, so I’m pretty sad about that. But despite a few storms, rainbows abound (feel free to interpret that in as many possible ways as you can). 

Here is this month’s update on my home theme. Enjoy!

  • I enjoyed this piece by Sarah E. Westfall on The Exhaustion of Stuff – “A home is more than a place to put our things. A home shapes us. It is where we are formed in relationship and, in an ideal setting, feel safe and supported. But when the Stuff™ that surrounds us is excessive or lacks meaning or breeds chaos, those same qualities begin to manifest themselves within us.” Sometimes, I am nostalgic about belongings and keep them even when they’re cluttery because I have feelings about getting rid of them (not all of these feelings are joy. Just…feelings). However, I am currently in a “pitchy” phase – I’m cleaning out closets and being rather ruthless in what I get rid of. It feels so good. I got a take back bag from For Days, and I am having absolutely no problem filling it. I expect it will be ready to send back in about a week. Happy.
  • One group of items that I have a hard time getting rid of is all those shoes. I love shoes. I love having a lot of choices, even though I typically wear only the same three or four pair. I’ve bravely put some of them in the giveaway pile, but for the rest, I am looking into better storage options so that they don’t just sit in a heap in the closet floor. 
  • I love this kind, stellar advice (as usual) from Ask Polly. Part of what I’m embracing about being at home with myself this year – with great enthusiasm and joy – is unlearning the urge to monetize everything I enjoy. To become the fucking weirdo who is really good at things she’s not trying to capitalize on
  • The flip side, of course, is that I hope to someday capitalize a little more on what I enjoy doing the most so it can be the thing I do full-time. The older I get, the more creativity is fundamental to my core and my happiness. I’m looking forward to some intensive creative time this weekend and part of next week. Specifically, I am doing my first DIY writing retreat of the year next Monday night through Wednesday night (ish), so I’m finishing up preparations for it this weekend. I have two main goals for this session – to edit and submit the first chapter of either “Fishbowl” or “November” to the Gutsy Great Novelist Page One Prize and to finish Andi Cumbo’s Smash the Myths course.
  • Finally, I am happy to announce that I have been offered the position of Coordinator for Housing Services! I expect it to be a smooth transition, as I’ll be working with the same team I’m currently on, just with different responsibilities that are more in line with my strengths. Also, I will be moving into one of the offices (and thus out of the reception area yay), so I am spending a lot of free time building my dark academia Pinterest board with decorating ideas. Looking to build a cozy, welcoming space but also make it a reflection of my personal style as much as possible.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

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Inspired by Joy the Baker, I have been making summer bucket lists for a few years. Summer is my least favorite season, which can feel isolating when it seems like it’s everyone else’s favorite. Sometimes I even trick myself into thinking this year will be different. My April and May self will see all the fun events planned for June and get excited. But when summer actually hits, I want to just curl up in a blanket and binge-watch something familiar (I’m currently rewatching Lucifer and Merlin). 

I suspect I have a little SAD going on, as this time of the year seems to be when I most need to ramp up good mental health habits. So the summer bucket list is partly self-care and partly a reminder that there’s something to look forward to.

  • Experiment with making summertime treats. Specifically, I have been obsessed with icebox pies lately. Some of them are recipes on their own; some are ice cream recipes I just freeze in a pie crust. I’ve got a long list to test and see which ones are my favorites, but here are a few to give you an idea of how delicious I intend my summer to be:
    • Coffee
    • Lemonade (also trying one with limeade)
    • Cherry (and blueberry and peach, etc.) cheesecake 
    • Maple whiskey
    • Banana cream
    • Tres leches
  • Have a two-day writing retreat at home. I am planning for this to be July 4 and 5, but I haven’t decided which project(s) I’m working on yet. I do know that I want to introduce the paid subscriber portion of my Substack by the end of the year, so I do need to edit some pieces to get them ready for the paying public. More on all of this later.
  • Have at least one reading retreat at home. If nothing else, I’ll be participating in Dewey’s Reverse readathon in July, but I’m open to more decadent reading days/weekends.
  • Take a mid-year financial health assessment – not necessarily for the blog (although I may post highlights) but just for my information. I feel like I’ve made considerable progress, but I want to actually crunch the numbers. 
  • Look for joy or luck or magic and document it (journal, Instagram, etc.). Take the lessons I’ve learned from past years’ themes and apply them. 

A medium-to-big life change is coming up soon, and I want to leave space for it. But I also don’t want to forget to take care of myself this summer so that I can keep overwhelm at a minimum.

Do you have any exciting summer plans?

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“Home wasn’t a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.” – Sarah Dessen, from What Happened to Goodbye

In exploring the concept of home, I’ve noticed that certain things stand out to me. For the rest of the year, a few of our Friday Fives are going to focus on books and think pieces that have sparked reflections about some of those things. 

  1. Shawn Smucker’s piece On the Road Again – “Now that I”m 46, homesickness is more of an ache for the place and the people where I belong, where I fit.” I spent most of last weekend on my parents’ farm, with a brief stint at the cousin’s place to attend a graduation party for his oldest child who is now an actual grown-up. [Aside – WHAT. I swear he was just born a minute ago.] It was so good to catch up with the extended family I came from, and we’re going to need to do that more often. I also really love coming back to Denton after a weekend away, though. Walking into my messy apartment where everything is mine and is just where I left it gives me a special kind of peace.
  2. The Secret of Poppyridge Cove by Rimmy London – Should you use an inheritance to buy a great house that comes with some land and a private beach entrance but that is also possibly haunted and/or frequented by a (maybe) serial killer? I know the “responsible” answer to this fantasy scenario is probably no, especially when the money is not all in the bank account quite yet, but then I had to keep turning up the volume on this audiobook to hear it over my upstairs neighbors and their cute dogs committing the grievous act of walking across the room in their own apartment, so WHERE DO I SIGN?! I am inspiring/torturing myself with a lot of books lately that revolve around the act of buying a home and making it yours (even if there are bumps and possibly corpses along the way). I liked both this one and A Traitor at Poppyridge Cove, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the series.
  3. The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg – I’m not saying that, when I retire, I’m going to put everything in storage and just drive until I find the town and house I want to live in, but this book makes a good argument for it. I really enjoyed it. Yes, as a couple of the online reviews state, it does read a little bit like a Hallmark Christmas movie (minus the Christmas). But there are so many poignant moments about grief and friendship and delicious food and community that it might have well had my name in the title because clearly it was written for me.  It wasn’t just finding a place to land that helped the main character through her grief but also remembering to find joy in small, ordinary pleasures and with the people who showed up alongside her. I could use that reminder myself from time to time. 
  4. I love the way Christie Purifoy writes about place. In this guest post, she pursues the answer to the question, “What if our homes could be places that bring us back to life?” I love being at home, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things I want to get done there. I get started with one project and then have to work or be somewhere else, so it takes longer than I would like to make a dent or a difference. But at other times, I look out my patio door at the tiny garden that is thriving, or I sit in my office among my books and glance up to see one I’d forgotten I had, and I’m filled with gratitude for this little space of mine. More of these life-giving moments, please.
  5. How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis – This is the book I didn’t even know I needed right now. Usually with advice-laden books, I take notes because 1) that’s my best learning style, and 2) I want a succinct list of highlights to review later. I didn’t do that with this one because it’s short and I own it so I just decided to tab the pages. I have so many tabbed spots. It’s the tabbing equivalent of highlighting the whole book. But at just over 150 pages (if you include the appendix and the acknowledgments), it’s so rich in information. My favorite takeaway is that care tasks (whether for home or self) are morally neutral. You are not a better or worse person/adult based on how much you get done. I want this lesson to permeate my whole life this year. I already know it in my head but my heart and soul take a minute to catch up.

I’m very much looking forward to an easy weekend. Rest. Recoup. Also, dishes and maybe dusting. Putting some of those principles from Davis’s book into practice.

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One thing I really love about this month is that my birthday is on its way, so I get a lot of emails with coupons and freebies. I will faithfully delete countless emails I don’t read all year just to get these treats. 

Here are some other things I have loved recently:

  1. Birds of America by Lorrie Moore – This was our February selection for Follow the Reader, and we spent most of the time talking about it just reading exquisitely written lines from the stories. My favorite story was a tie between “Which Is More Than I Can Say About Some People” about the narrator’s trip to Ireland with her mom and “Terrific Mother” set in a children’s cancer ward. Moore writes deeply flawed characters really well, and each story elicited a strong emotional response.
  2. A Hole in the World by Amanda Held Opelt – Opelt’s own experience of grief after her miscarriages and the sudden loss of her sister (Rachel Held Evans) led to her desire to learn about grief rituals, and this book is the result of what she learned. It sits in the uncertainty of having more questions than answers and cycling through both grief and joy (sometimes at the same time). It was the perfect read for Lent, and I can see myself buying and re-reading it when grief is heavy. 
  3. I’m in the market for new sandals. The weather has been springy, and the selection in my closet is sparse. I am considering these or these. Maybe these. I tend to lean toward black footwear (practical – hides dirt, goes with everything), but I’m feeling shiny lately. I may need shoes to match. Thanks for the birthday coupon, DSW!
  4. I need another baking pan like I need a hole in my toe, but THIS IS SO CUTE. I COULD MAKE BUTTERFLY CAKELETS. Now, whether I would is another story…
  5. A love letter to libraries. This piece made my NYT subscription worth it this month.

I hope March is treating you well so far. Have a good weekend, friends!

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I met Maggie when she was a student working in the building where I was a night desk clerk, where she fit in really well with our weird staff.

She endeared herself to me pretty quickly because:

  1. She would work the night shift on the weekends, which were otherwise horribly difficult to schedule.
  2. She often hung out at the front desk with me when I was working, but in an unobtrusive way. Just the right kind of company.
  3. She was the mastermind behind the original Suzanne-a-thon, an all-night appreciation event, which I appreciated in return.
  4. She liked and encouraged my choice of nicknames for her, which mostly consisted of words that begin with “Mag.” Magnanimous was the one I used most often.

Soon, she was promoted to night desk at another hall. We IM-ed all night during our shifts, and we sat by each other at Friday staff meetings, where she totally wore green.

Soon we became good friends, which doesn’t typically happen quickly for either of us, but we seemed to click.

We shared similar hobbies.

We went shopping together.

We often enjoyed brunch with messy coffee (hers) together.

We even saw the Smurf movie. I really, really have to love someone to watch the Smurf movie with them.

And she must really, really love me, because she got up at ridiculous hours and went outside to go running with me when I forgot my personality and decided I wanted to train for a marathon.

She liked (most of) my friends and got along well with (most of) them. One in particular:

Maggie and Michelle and I lived together for a while, and that was so much fun. Well, for most of us.

Then Maggie moved to Houston, but we still text and IM almost every day. The first time I visited, we had pie.

And, of course, brunch.

We don’t see each other very often, but when we do, we make the most of it with delicious food and (sometimes) matching pjs.

All this is to say that, although my view of Valentine’s typically mirrors the words of another Maggie, the day always makes me think of my favorite Maggie.

The best Maggie.

The only Maggie for me.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Magamemenon.

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Workplace Hygge

Once I started exploring what it means to have a lush life, the word cozy kept coming up. And the more I started searching for cozy things, the more I kept running into posts and books about hygge. For those unfamiliar with the term (and clearly not on Pinterest, because it is all over Pinterest), hygge is a Danish concept that takes cozy to the next level. In addition to embracing comfort, it also includes elements of warmth, well-being, and connection.

I’m way down the hygge rabbit hole, so it’s likely to come up a few times this month. If you want a quick and charming crash course, I recommend The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking. Today, I’m giving you a brief overview of the five dimensions of hygge he outlines, which are essentially ways you can experience the phenomenon through your senses. Everyone’s preferences are going to be different, but I’ve included examples of mine. This is a particularly useful exercise for me, as I am easily overwhelmed by sensory input. It’s good to intentionally make note of the ones I enjoy.

Taste

Food is a big part of comfort, and the Danes know this. They have a whole pastry named after their nationality (which I really need to try in Denmark, I think. You know, to get the full experience.). When I think of cozy food, things that are familiar and satisfying come to mind:

  • Soups with a side of crusty bread
  • Eggs and toast
  • Oatmeal with dried fruit and maple syrup
  • Stir fry/warm salads
  • Peaches, nectarines, and apricots (really any fresh fruit, but those are my faves)
  • Antipasti – any combination of cheese, bread/crackers, pickles/olives, maybe salami or fruit
  • Burgers
  • Potatoes in any form. Particularly if there is also cheese involved.

There are also specific flavors that fit in this category for me. I love coconut and caramel and peppermint (not all together, though). And of course, a nice cup of coffee or hot tea increases the cozy factor of any activity.

Sound

I love rainy day sounds. Not just the rain but the things I like to do inside when there’s a storm outside. The tink of knitting needles. Soft instrumental music, particularly piano and/or acoustic base. Pages turning as I read. The washer and dryer running. Small sipping sounds as I try to drink my cup of tea before it’s cool enough to do so (this is the only eating/drinking sound I like at all, btw. All the rest are gross and upsetting. This is a hill I am prepared to die on.).

One of the reasons I find coffee shops so comforting is the combination of sounds coming from behind the counter. Kettles boiling. The clinks and clunks of the espresso machine. Coffee dripping and pouring. It’s very much what I imagine Heaven must sound like.

Also…when cats ekekekekek. That’s some good ASMR right there.

Smell

Coffee. Vanilla and butter. Citrus. Tomato or pea plants. Fresh bread. Food smells, basically, are my favorites.

The other scents I think of as comforting are those that remind me of a particular time, place, or event. For example, the very specific smell that hits me when I open up Mom’s Christmas cabinet where she stores all her decorations. It’s sort of like an apple/cinnamon smell but not quite.

Touch

One of the first things I did after I chose the word lush for my theme this year was to buy new bed linens. There was nothing wrong with the ones I had, but they were getting a little worn and scratchy. [So, I guess there was something wrong with them. I just feel wasteful if I get rid of something before it’s absolutely unusable (no worries – they have been refurbished into decorations/costumes).] I love flannel sheets, and I use them all year long. I also bought a comforter that is slightly weighted (not too much! Most weighted blankets are too much!), which helps me fall asleep. I like drinking out of glass or ceramic receptacles. I will drink out of metal or plastic or paper cups, but it’s just not the same.

I think I’ve gotten to the point where I absolutely refuse to wear hard pants. Jeans, slacks, anything that you have to button/zip? Not interested. I don’t even know that I own any such thing anymore. My daily attire is all dresses and skirts with either shorts or leggings. Comfy shoes that are designed for long hours roaming bookstores. Sweaters and other layers just in case the temperature suddenly changes because Texas. Bookcore for life.

Sight

I’m going to go into this more when I talk about having a cozy home later in the month, so I won’t dwell now, but muted lighting (I’m in the market for lamps), candles, and twinkle lights are my jam. I love dark, rich colors (and yes, classically eccentric is a good name for my preferred decorating style). In pictures or movie scenes or art, I prefer slow-moving ease to bustle. I favor open sky and beaches over woods or forest. I need intentional blank space in decorating, too.

What makes you feel cozy?

I’m writing about lush life this month.

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