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Archive for the ‘Home’ Category

From The Museum of Ordinary People by Mike Gayle – “The older you get, the more home becomes about people rather than place, I think. The older you get, the more roots are about where you want to be rather than where you come from.”

Our cookbook club meets tonight, and the theme is pickles. Up until this week, I was going to make cheddar and dill biscuits but it’s so very hot, so I’ve made pickled carrots and bought a nice cheese to go with them instead. I love sharing food with these folks. It’s one of the things I look forward to the most each month.

  • This piece – “The Poetics of Family Life” – outlined some interesting insights into the home being its own harmonious entity, not just a reflection of public life and its guidelines. It’s more zoned toward families, but there are some nuggets of wisdom that I’m chewing on for myself, too. 
  • It will depend on how much the paycheck actually changes in the next few months, of course, but I am already breathing easier about finances. The thought of being able to not only make my overall budget and beef up my savings but also have enough left over to go out for dinner/drinks with friends a few times a month without sticking to a diet of pb&j and ramen the week before payday, or replace worn-out clothing and shoes as needed without having to dip into an emergency fund, or just buy cute little upgrades for my home like these pillows on a consistent basis is so incredibly freeing. I might even be able to start a fun fund within the next year for extravagances such as vacations or a car.
  • On being the person you are on vacation…this is a good reminder to make time not only for the practical work that I need to do to make my home run well but also for rest and rejuvenation. I’m working through The Artist’s Way again, and while I remembered writing morning pages from the time I worked through it before (over a decade ago), I forgot the instruction to schedule a weekly artist date with yourself – something to feed your creativity. While I would argue that once a week is not enough (acknowledging, of course, that the time to be able to work in more than one a week is a privilege some don’t have), this was another gentle reminder to not let weeks slip by without being intentional about protecting my calm and creativity.
  • I am at the overwhelmed stage of the new job. That’s fine. Everything’s fine. But these tips on how to stay grounded and feel at home with yourself really came in handy this week. I only hyperventilated once. Good job, me!
  • The title of that last article also reminded me that I need to get some plants for my office because I can BECAUSE I HAVE A WINDOW NOW (those caps are excited-shouty, not angry-shouty). We’re doing two weeks of training for the student staff that I supervise, and then we open all the buildings for fall, but after that chaos has passed, I think my treat to myself after that is going to be some greenery for the office. Because I enjoy having indoor plants but not necessarily planting them, I’ll probably be scouting for new little windowsill friends at True Leaf Studio.

I hope you have a great and restful weekend!

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June has been a pretty good month, all things considered. I mean, weather and legislation are gross, because Texas. And my dad had to put our dog Lola down, so I’m pretty sad about that. But despite a few storms, rainbows abound (feel free to interpret that in as many possible ways as you can). 

Here is this month’s update on my home theme. Enjoy!

  • I enjoyed this piece by Sarah E. Westfall on The Exhaustion of Stuff – “A home is more than a place to put our things. A home shapes us. It is where we are formed in relationship and, in an ideal setting, feel safe and supported. But when the Stuff™ that surrounds us is excessive or lacks meaning or breeds chaos, those same qualities begin to manifest themselves within us.” Sometimes, I am nostalgic about belongings and keep them even when they’re cluttery because I have feelings about getting rid of them (not all of these feelings are joy. Just…feelings). However, I am currently in a “pitchy” phase – I’m cleaning out closets and being rather ruthless in what I get rid of. It feels so good. I got a take back bag from For Days, and I am having absolutely no problem filling it. I expect it will be ready to send back in about a week. Happy.
  • One group of items that I have a hard time getting rid of is all those shoes. I love shoes. I love having a lot of choices, even though I typically wear only the same three or four pair. I’ve bravely put some of them in the giveaway pile, but for the rest, I am looking into better storage options so that they don’t just sit in a heap in the closet floor. 
  • I love this kind, stellar advice (as usual) from Ask Polly. Part of what I’m embracing about being at home with myself this year – with great enthusiasm and joy – is unlearning the urge to monetize everything I enjoy. To become the fucking weirdo who is really good at things she’s not trying to capitalize on
  • The flip side, of course, is that I hope to someday capitalize a little more on what I enjoy doing the most so it can be the thing I do full-time. The older I get, the more creativity is fundamental to my core and my happiness. I’m looking forward to some intensive creative time this weekend and part of next week. Specifically, I am doing my first DIY writing retreat of the year next Monday night through Wednesday night (ish), so I’m finishing up preparations for it this weekend. I have two main goals for this session – to edit and submit the first chapter of either “Fishbowl” or “November” to the Gutsy Great Novelist Page One Prize and to finish Andi Cumbo’s Smash the Myths course.
  • Finally, I am happy to announce that I have been offered the position of Coordinator for Housing Services! I expect it to be a smooth transition, as I’ll be working with the same team I’m currently on, just with different responsibilities that are more in line with my strengths. Also, I will be moving into one of the offices (and thus out of the reception area yay), so I am spending a lot of free time building my dark academia Pinterest board with decorating ideas. Looking to build a cozy, welcoming space but also make it a reflection of my personal style as much as possible.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

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Inspired by Joy the Baker, I have been making summer bucket lists for a few years. Summer is my least favorite season, which can feel isolating when it seems like it’s everyone else’s favorite. Sometimes I even trick myself into thinking this year will be different. My April and May self will see all the fun events planned for June and get excited. But when summer actually hits, I want to just curl up in a blanket and binge-watch something familiar (I’m currently rewatching Lucifer and Merlin). 

I suspect I have a little SAD going on, as this time of the year seems to be when I most need to ramp up good mental health habits. So the summer bucket list is partly self-care and partly a reminder that there’s something to look forward to.

  • Experiment with making summertime treats. Specifically, I have been obsessed with icebox pies lately. Some of them are recipes on their own; some are ice cream recipes I just freeze in a pie crust. I’ve got a long list to test and see which ones are my favorites, but here are a few to give you an idea of how delicious I intend my summer to be:
    • Coffee
    • Lemonade (also trying one with limeade)
    • Cherry (and blueberry and peach, etc.) cheesecake 
    • Maple whiskey
    • Banana cream
    • Tres leches
  • Have a two-day writing retreat at home. I am planning for this to be July 4 and 5, but I haven’t decided which project(s) I’m working on yet. I do know that I want to introduce the paid subscriber portion of my Substack by the end of the year, so I do need to edit some pieces to get them ready for the paying public. More on all of this later.
  • Have at least one reading retreat at home. If nothing else, I’ll be participating in Dewey’s Reverse readathon in July, but I’m open to more decadent reading days/weekends.
  • Take a mid-year financial health assessment – not necessarily for the blog (although I may post highlights) but just for my information. I feel like I’ve made considerable progress, but I want to actually crunch the numbers. 
  • Look for joy or luck or magic and document it (journal, Instagram, etc.). Take the lessons I’ve learned from past years’ themes and apply them. 

A medium-to-big life change is coming up soon, and I want to leave space for it. But I also don’t want to forget to take care of myself this summer so that I can keep overwhelm at a minimum.

Do you have any exciting summer plans?

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“Home wasn’t a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.” – Sarah Dessen, from What Happened to Goodbye

In exploring the concept of home, I’ve noticed that certain things stand out to me. For the rest of the year, a few of our Friday Fives are going to focus on books and think pieces that have sparked reflections about some of those things. 

  1. Shawn Smucker’s piece On the Road Again – “Now that I”m 46, homesickness is more of an ache for the place and the people where I belong, where I fit.” I spent most of last weekend on my parents’ farm, with a brief stint at the cousin’s place to attend a graduation party for his oldest child who is now an actual grown-up. [Aside – WHAT. I swear he was just born a minute ago.] It was so good to catch up with the extended family I came from, and we’re going to need to do that more often. I also really love coming back to Denton after a weekend away, though. Walking into my messy apartment where everything is mine and is just where I left it gives me a special kind of peace.
  2. The Secret of Poppyridge Cove by Rimmy London – Should you use an inheritance to buy a great house that comes with some land and a private beach entrance but that is also possibly haunted and/or frequented by a (maybe) serial killer? I know the “responsible” answer to this fantasy scenario is probably no, especially when the money is not all in the bank account quite yet, but then I had to keep turning up the volume on this audiobook to hear it over my upstairs neighbors and their cute dogs committing the grievous act of walking across the room in their own apartment, so WHERE DO I SIGN?! I am inspiring/torturing myself with a lot of books lately that revolve around the act of buying a home and making it yours (even if there are bumps and possibly corpses along the way). I liked both this one and A Traitor at Poppyridge Cove, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the series.
  3. The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg – I’m not saying that, when I retire, I’m going to put everything in storage and just drive until I find the town and house I want to live in, but this book makes a good argument for it. I really enjoyed it. Yes, as a couple of the online reviews state, it does read a little bit like a Hallmark Christmas movie (minus the Christmas). But there are so many poignant moments about grief and friendship and delicious food and community that it might have well had my name in the title because clearly it was written for me.  It wasn’t just finding a place to land that helped the main character through her grief but also remembering to find joy in small, ordinary pleasures and with the people who showed up alongside her. I could use that reminder myself from time to time. 
  4. I love the way Christie Purifoy writes about place. In this guest post, she pursues the answer to the question, “What if our homes could be places that bring us back to life?” I love being at home, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things I want to get done there. I get started with one project and then have to work or be somewhere else, so it takes longer than I would like to make a dent or a difference. But at other times, I look out my patio door at the tiny garden that is thriving, or I sit in my office among my books and glance up to see one I’d forgotten I had, and I’m filled with gratitude for this little space of mine. More of these life-giving moments, please.
  5. How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis – This is the book I didn’t even know I needed right now. Usually with advice-laden books, I take notes because 1) that’s my best learning style, and 2) I want a succinct list of highlights to review later. I didn’t do that with this one because it’s short and I own it so I just decided to tab the pages. I have so many tabbed spots. It’s the tabbing equivalent of highlighting the whole book. But at just over 150 pages (if you include the appendix and the acknowledgments), it’s so rich in information. My favorite takeaway is that care tasks (whether for home or self) are morally neutral. You are not a better or worse person/adult based on how much you get done. I want this lesson to permeate my whole life this year. I already know it in my head but my heart and soul take a minute to catch up.

I’m very much looking forward to an easy weekend. Rest. Recoup. Also, dishes and maybe dusting. Putting some of those principles from Davis’s book into practice.

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Welcome to May! My allergies are at war with nature, and we are closing down most of our residence halls for on-campus housing and transitioning to summer housing/conferences. Both sound like excellent reasons to use the downtime I have to stay inside and read and not talk to anyone at all.

Here’s the plan for the month!

Book Clubs

TBR

The section of my TBR that is the longest is the series section. This is where I list not only all the series that I’ve started (and all the books still left to read in them) but also all the series I’m interested in. That number is constantly expanding, and I’m becoming resigned to the truth that it is probably infinity. This group is listed only by the first book on my TBR spreadsheet, though. I’m not going to commit to the series unless I really like the first one. 

[This is a new rule that I’ve made for myself this year as part of my commitment to learning to accept that it’s OK not to finish books/series when I realize I’m just not that into them.]

So most of this month’s selections in this category are helping me whittle down that section-within-a-section of my TBR (can you whittle down infinity? I’m not sure that’s a thing). A couple of the following selections are from series I already know and love, but the first five are first installments that I have been meaning to try out for a while.

  • Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo – One of my friends gave the book this ringing endorsement –  “It’s like Hogwarts and Buffy had a baby and sent it to Yale.” OF COURSE I NEED TO READ THAT.
  • Outlander by Diana Gabaldon – I think I have the boxed set in ebook form somewhere, but I’ll have to look. If not, I’m sure the library or friends who love historical fiction have a copy I can borrow.
  • The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie – You know I love a detective story. Can you believe I’ve never read any Hercule Poirot mysteries?!
  • Fable by Adrienne Young – I don’t remember who suggested this one, but their recommendation clearly made enough of an impression that I immediately put it on hold at the library, and now it’s in my borrowed pile. It does sound like something I’d like, so we’ll see.
  • The Printed Letter Bookshop by Katherine Reay – This is a judging-a-book-by-its-cover/title situation. I have high hopes for this one.
  • The Bullet that Missed by Richard Osman – Have I gushed thoroughly enough about the Thursday Murder Club yet that you want to read it? Excited about getting to know these characters a little better in the third book.
  • Tricked and Trapped by Kevin Hearne – More of the Iron Druid Chronicles!
  • Why Design Matters by Debbie Millman – Not a series selection, but I’ve been waiting for it at the library for forever, and it’s finally my turn! It’s also a good choice for this year’s home theme.
  • The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg – Also not a series selection, but very “on brand” (as the capitalists say) for me. So…also a good home theme selection. Thus, I started it immediately after picking it up at the library and will probably be finished with it early this month. I’m probably going to end up buying it.

Collection

  • The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King – This is the first Stephen King book I ever read, but that was in 6th grade. I remember loving it, so it will be interesting to see what I think of it now. Bonus – it fulfills the prompt for Girlxoxo’s Monthy Key Word Reading Challenge (keyword “dragon”). 
  • A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews – After reading Women Talking last month, I’m interested in how this one compares.
  • Nocturnes by Kazuo Ishiguro – I loved Never Let Me Go, so I pick up any Ishiguro I see at a book sale. Looking forward to reading this short story collection.
  • Placemaker by Christie Purifoy – This has been on my nightstand for a few years. Hoping to tuck into it as another home selection this month, if time allows.
  • Cook, Eat, Repeat by Nigella Lawson – continuing my Audible countdown with one of my favorite cookbook writers narrating her own book. It is delightful to have it read to me, and I’m already planning to buy the hard copy as well.
  • Laziness Does Not Exist by Dr. Devon Price – I enjoyed Dr. Price’s presentation last week, so I immediately used an Audible credit to pick up this gem to listen to this month.

Whew. That’s a lot. I probably won’t finish them all, but hope springs eternal!

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This week’s recap is going to be a little different. As you know, it’s National Poetry Month, and I’ve read a lot of poems! There were a few collections that were just meh for me and one that fell so flat that I couldn’t even bear to make it through, but I finished and enjoyed most of the ones I planned on:

I have also been bookmarking poems to share with my beloved Follow the Reader friends. I only shared a few snippets that night because I’m misfiring all over the place this week, so transporting from the page to my brain to my mouth is hard. But here are five of my favorites from the month:

  1. “A Song for the Status Quo” by Saeed Jones (Alive at the End of the World) – This whole collection is amazing. I also like this interview about his work. 
  2. “The Noisiness of Sleep” by Ada Limón (Bright Dead Things). I love the concluding line – “I want to be the rough clothes you can’t sleep in.”
  3. Elizabeth Wilder (Balefire) – “There is not much I trust so wholeheartedly as the musty-scented pages of a book.”
  4. “Perhaps the World Ends Here” by Joy Harjo (Weaving Sundown in a Scarlet Light). Of course, the line about coffee charmed me – “Our dreams drink coffee with us as they put their arms around our children.”
  5. To continue the celebration of poetry (does it ever end, really?), I’m currently reading and enjoying Clint Smith’s Counting Descent

And finally, a little something to start your weekend off right. For your aural enjoyment, half an hour of Tom Hiddleston reading poetry. You’re welcome.

Have a good one, friends!

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It’s my mom’s birthday! She is officially an octogenarian! She’ll be so excited that I told the internet that. 

And happy Good Friday to those who observe. Although…is “happy” the right adjective there? Happy death of our Lord? Yay, crucifixion? Congratulations on the commemoration of Jesus being murdered by the state under pressure from an angry mob? 

ANYWAY.

Hi. It is Friday – the end of the work week – and that is something to be happy about. 

  1. I never know what to take for Easter brunch at church. Side dish? Breakfast casserole? Something I can make the day before? Nothing but a healthy appetite because I already am going to be there as assisting minister at the 8:30 service and contrary to my personal feelings/raising, I don’t actually have to do everything? Heavily leaning toward the last one, but have not completely ruled out blueberry monkey bread as an option.
  2. I am enjoying Camp NaNoWriMo. I’m working on my essay collection of to-do lists for complicated days. I set a goal of 10,000 words for the month, which averages out to a little less than 350 per day. Totally doable.
  3. Firekeeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley – This book was so good. I listened to the audio, but I may buy the hard copy because I can see myself re-reading it. What most stood out to me was the perfect pacing – it was fast enough to hold tension and keep the story moving but slow enough to build suspense. It felt like it was happening in real time. 
  4. Weyward by Emilia Hart – I liked this one a lot. It was just the right mix of dangerous and cozy. The book follows three generations of women who have a specific power, and the way they use it is quite satisfying. The audio reader was great – she made it super easy to distinguish between the three characters telling the story.
  5. As I’m pondering ways to make my apartment cozier (i.e., stuff more bookshelves and reading nooks in there), I often stumble across lists like this one. My current project is figuring out a way to divide the living room and dining area without making it feel cramped. I am considering getting rid of the big table. Maybe. I’m going to move things around and see how they work.

I hope you are having a good day and have an even better weekend!

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I’m excited about this weekend and the upcoming month. Lots of fun stuff happening in April – a couple of performances, some time with friends I haven’t seen in a while, and maybe even making some leeway on a couple of writing projects.

And books. Lots of books.

Here are three things I enjoyed and two things I’m looking forward to:

  1. Of Mess and Moxie by Jen Hatmaker – I’m a little behind the times reading this one, as her family has changed somewhat, but it still rang true and was a good read. It made me laugh and tear up, just like it was meant to. I feel like I would really like her in person, but I switched from the audiobook to the print version halfway through because I felt like she was yelling at me and it made me tired.
  2. National Poetry Month begins tomorrow, and what better way to start than with Lover by Ada Limón.
  3. Is it cheating to link you to other lists of links? Do I even care if I’m cheating? If it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right, because Toby’s list on Joy the Baker’s Let It Be Sunday post was notably fantastic this week. My favorite link was to Courtney Martin’s 10 thoughts on building a life you love. “Stay humble. Stay magical.” The comments section of Martin’s piece is pretty golden, too.
  4. Of Walking in Ice by Werner Herzog – Herzog’s journal from when he walked from Munich to Paris to visit his mentor Lotte Eisner as she was dying, with the conviction that she wouldn’t die as long as he was walking. It’s a collection of images he found along the way and his observations about the people (and the birds and the heaps of trash and the mice) he encountered. It’s a very lonely little book, and while “enjoyed” isn’t exactly the right word for how I experienced it, it is beautiful in its own way. I am glad to have read it as a witness to his journey.
  5. Tomorrow, Wenepa (my improvisational ambient noise group) is performing for KUZUthon from 5:20 (or 5:30? Anyway – later in the 5:00 hour)-5:40 (CST). The performances and interviews will be streaming on kuzu.fm, so tune in if you’re free!

I hope you have a great weekend!

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The bats continue their festive seasonal costume choices at the office.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! AKA, the eve of my birthday. I’m off work today to rest up for the festivities tomorrow and I’m looking forward to my video chat with Maggie and Michelle tonight. But I wanted to drop in and give you some of the goodies that I’ve enjoyed in the last couple of weeks.

  1. I love the St. Marin’s series by ACF Bookens, and Hardcover Homicide is the first one I listened to on audio. I think I would have enjoyed that version better if I had listened to the series from the beginning. It’s hard to start audio versions on the 9th book – I already have voices in my head for the characters at that point – but it was a good reading. Anyway, the whole series is great fun, and I love how these characters have developed throughout it. Also, be prepared to add to your TBR list with every book. It will make you long to hang out in your favorite local bookstore or library even more than you already do. I look forward to reading the next one, but maybe I’ll order it in print this time.
  2. Speaking of things to add to the TBR, the 2023 longlist for the Women’s Prize for Fiction has been announced. 
  3. Big Swiss by Jen Beagin – Oh, the wit! I really enjoyed this book. The characters are off their rockers and do some things that are ill-advised and sometimes downright startling. But there are also some really sweet moments and, while the main character stressed me out for a large portion of the book, I still found her likable. 
  4. I think one of my mini-goals for April is going to be focusing on creating a less stressful home environment. Specifically, I am targeting my dining area. I’ve currently dedicated the large table to getting the plants started for my patio garden for the summer (or let’s be real – as long as it lasts), but once they’re planted properly outside, I don’t want the space to just clutter up again. Ideally, I could buy some nice flowers to motivate me to keep it clear, but experience tells me that won’t deter me for long. It needs a purpose other than the surface I hurriedly clear off on the rare occasions I have more than two people over for dinner. I am considering turning it into a reading nook/project area, but I haven’t decided exactly what that looks like.
  5. If you are interested in fine-tuning your people skills, research shows that reading fiction can help you do that. As a former communication professor, however, I can verify that it’s probably NOT a good idea to send that link to someone and say, “If you would just read this and do what it says, we’d get along so much better.” That’s probably not helpful. Probably.

I hope you have a great weekend!

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It’s Staff Appreciation Month at my job, and I’m choosing to be appreciated in the form of taking a lot of fun classes and a lot of time off. Yay – more time to read!

Book Clubs

In my Rise and Shine book club this month, the theme is science and technology, so I’m mostly gathering suggestions rather than choosing a specific book to read. I mean, I have some science fiction recommendations…but I’m not sure that’s what they mean.

TBR

I start compiling these posts two or three months in advance, so there’s plenty of shifting by the time I actually post it. And by shifting, I do mean the occasional “no, on second thought, I don’t really have any interest in reading that at all” but mostly “hey – I want to read that, too!” And thus the TBR expands. This section was four books…until the last couple of weeks.

Collection

I have multiple Girlxoxo selections for this month, and they are all from the collection at home. 

Have you read anything exciting lately? Tell me about it!

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