Happy New Year, everyone! Back to work this week, getting to do a lot of interviews for next year’s staff. We’re losing almost half of our student staff in the office, and there are a lot of great candidates. Definitely go home and just sit in the silence after all this social interaction, though. Ready for a calm, quiet weekend.
Here are some things I enjoyed this week:
I’m intrigued by the concept of house hushing. On the one hand, it makes sense that a neat environment can be more peaceful – more mentally quiet. On the other hand, this feels like another person telling me why I need to clean my house, and I’m not sure I’m open to that sort of advice today. Does hushing still work if I’m overwhelmed and exhausted about it? Maybe I’ll revisit this concept when I’m in a more cleaning-as-catharsis mood.
Here’s something more manageable – turning my office into a cozy workspace. My current favorite things about my office at UNT – a full candy jar, inspirational notes on the bulletin board, coloring books and supplies available for students to use, and twinkle lights (battery-operated, per Housing rules).
I love this piece about dancing – at parties, in clubs, in your living room – how it feels to move in time with music and other people and be a part of something. One of the reasons I don’t mind crowds quite as much when I’m dancing is that it lets me be a slightly different person than I usually am when I’m standing or sitting still. It’s an experience of being both together and alone.
Leave it to Joy the Baker to speak my mind. Gentle January is such a good idea. I mean, I clearly am not going to leave goal-setting and looking toward the new year until the end of the month. But I am starting off soft in other ways. To me, this looks like even more nights at home than usual and longer writing/piano/knitting/crafting sessions. And I am definitely on board with eating down the fridge and pantry to use up all the things before restocking. Work and medical stuff are out of control this month, so embracing as gentle a January as possible sounds like such a relief.
I’m not adding yet another reading challenge to my plate this year. I’m really not. But I do find this one intriguing. If you get book FOMO, this might be a good one for you. A little backtrack on things that might have fallen under your radar in the last decade or so. Enjoy!
This year was a wild one. I’m pretty surprised I accomplished as much as I did. I met the spirit of each of my resolutions, if not the actual goals themselves.
Theme: Home
I’ve thought and read a lot this year about what home (having one, being at, making one, etc.) means. I’ve jotted down notes throughout the year and shared some of them here (click “home” link in the word salad over there —>). As I was finishing up The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik, I ran across a quote that sums up a lot of my thoughts on the theme – “Nothing about deathlessness or permanence, nothing forced; it was only a request, a cry of longing: stay here, please stay, be our shelter, be our home, be loved…”
Home is not something I construct once and have forever. It is a living, breathing thing. I find it in spaces, but I can also carry it with me, a sense of belonging that simply comes from being at home with who I am. A loving, peaceful home – or world – cannot be created from exploitation or greed. It must be cultivated with care. And care is complicated, especially when there are few systems in place to foster it.
I see this working in many of the choices I’ve made this year to put down some things that seem great but are either shiny trash or just not for me. I’ve also put my strategic/analytical strengths to good use in choosing new things to pick up.
I don’t think this a lesson that ends, but I’m glad to have explored it more thoroughly this year.
Arts/Words/Creativity
The thrill of having a week off work without having to use any PTO often goes to my head. Especially when setting goals for the upcoming year. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though. I like thinking in terms of extravagant possibilities, particularly when it comes to creative pursuits.
While I didn’t quite make the goal of reading 180 books, I don’t think it’s beyond my reach (in general – definitely beyond my reach in the next day and a half). In fact, I was ahead of schedule for most of the year, until work and health issues exploded. I don’t know how much those things will actually settle down, but I’ll keep the same goal for next year and see how it goes.
When it comes to setting reasonable creative goals, I first had to fail spectacularly to learn. Most of the year, I faithfully set weekly plans on Sunday…and then did not meet them. Minor tangent – I am delighted to report that failing isn’t half the gut punch it used to be. Perhaps I’m actually healing from my overachiever, perfectionist ways? Here’s hoping. Anyway, in the last few months, I have become better at setting realistic short-term goals, a skill I plan to take into the new year with gusto.
Health/Wellness/Energy
I still really dislike strength training. And I dropped my Pilates membership because I wasn’t going anyway so it didn’t make sense to spend money on it. But I am begrudgingly sticking to a pretty regular schedule, completing at least two upper body and two lower body sessions a week. I am happy to report that it still works even when you whine about it, and a little whining is cathartic.
My favorite wellness habit this year has been my commitment to making sure I have the downtime I need to function properly. The more I learn about how my brain works and what it needs to be at its best, the easier it is to say no to things that keep that from happening. Same thing with cutting out foods that make me feel sluggish. Actually feeling good and having sufficient energy to do things is so much better than slogging through or pushing myself until I collapse. I’m up to three regular time-outs a week. I think that’s the sweet spot where I still feel connected to people and life in general without getting overwhelmed and out of sorts.
As it turns out, these are skills I will need in the months ahead.
I have some hard things coming up, health-wise. I don’t know all the specifics yet or the extent to which I will need to reorganize the rest of my life to adapt to these changes in the upcoming months, and I don’t know how much of it I will share here. I do know, however, that I will need the space to figure it out as I go along. And the work I have done this year toward being healthier – both physically and mentally – is going to help me do that. I’m grateful for what this year has taught me in this regard.
Finances
I do not have $1000 in my cushion account. Like I said, some shit has come up. But at least I have a cushion account, and I’m leaving it alone (except for the emergencies and extra surprises for which it is intended) and replenishing it as I am able. This is still an improvement over last year.
As far as my goal of identifying one new way to save or make money every month, I have gone above and beyond. I dropped subscriptions and services that I wasn’t using enough to justify the expense. I curbed impulse spending by giving myself a 3-day waiting period before buying anything I didn’t need to make sure I actually wanted to make the purchase (this was more successful at certain times than at others). Do you know how much more satisfying it makes the purchase when you actually do decide you want it? I had no idea.
But most of all, I applied for and got a new job that increased my monthly take-home pay by about 18%. I have needed every penny of it, and I am so glad to have it.
This year has shaken me in several ways, but it has also revealed that my foundation and my support system are stronger than I thought they were. Most days, I’m more grateful than anxious, and I’m pleased about that.
It’s the last workday of the year (well, at one job – probably going to do some writing for the other one next week. Probably. Maybe. We’ll see.). I am in the process of interviewing everyone who passed through the application portion of selection (for the department’s new live-in student staff next year) and indicated they were specifically interested in the Housing Ambassador side of things, but I am done with today’s round! I desperately need to organize my office, so that’s on the to-do list this afternoon.
Then tomorrow, it’s off to the family farm with my sister and brother-in-law!
But first, I have some things to share with you today:
My favorite news this week – Martha Wells’s Murderbot is going to become a show! I love Murderbot. Very excited to see what they do with it.
I Am From Here by Vishwesh Bhatt – This cookbook is written like a love story to food and family and all the influences that brought Bhatt to where he is today. Beautiful pictures and a horde of new recipes to try.
In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren – I enjoyed this book, but I was stressed out for most of it because there was a going-back-in-time/Groundhog-Day-esque element, and I didn’t feel like the conclusion to that was thoroughly flushed out. Are they OK? Did everyone make it out alright? I needed answers sooner and also more completely.
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt – I LOVED THIS BOOK. The characters are endearing and one of them is an octopus. It’s not as weird as it sounds. It’s charming and wonderful and if you liked A Man Called Ove or Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine or books like that, you will like this one, too.
And finally, while I’m definitely going to pick up dinner tonight on my way home, I am looking forward to my upcoming slower week. Gonna make some big-batch meals in the crock pot and roast a whole lot of vegetables for warm salads. Maybe make some soup. I’ve pretty much depleted my stash of frozen leftovers in the last couple of weeks, so I’m excited to replenish them.
I also look forward to posting some year-in-review thoughts as well as my theme and goals for next year in the upcoming week. I wish you contentment and love as you finish out the year!
Another busy week, another busy weekend. This one is going to be pretty exciting, though. Tomorrow is the dress rehearsal for our Advent/Christmas program at church, which we will present on Sunday morning. And then Sunday night, my band Wenepa is playing at Rubber Gloves at 8:30.
(I mean, it’s Chickasaw – not Cherokee – for “noise” and also we’re a quartet – not a quintet – but…close?)
I have not had a lot of focus this week (or for the last six months, but who’s counting), so I didn’t read as much as I wanted to. Here are some things I did finish/run across. Enjoy!
The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow – I had high hopes for this one. I had heard a lot of good things about it. But my overall impression? Meh. The storyline was okay. The characters were fine. I liked it enough to at least finish it. It just didn’t stand out. If you like historical fiction with some magic thrown in, you may enjoy it.
To Fall in Love, Drink This: A Wine Writer’s Memoir by Alice Feiring – Alice Feiring is the reason I started drinking mostly organic, unfussed-around-with wines, and to this day, most of my favorites fit in this category. I tabbed so much of this book as she listed hundreds of wines to try and what she finds interesting about them. I also enjoyed the stories of her family and her career. It was a quick, informative, and fun read.
I love this piece about making even mundane tasks or errands into an event. I mean, I’m not sure that I need to add another stop to errands, so I love the theme of the piece more than some of the specific details. Sign me up for at least one pasta/wine night a week at home with music and comfy clothes, though. I, too, like certain moments in that movie (Because I Said So) and that scene (as well as several other scenes…and Gabriel Macht…) for those same reasons. It looks like a good life.
Paying closer attention to my writing life reminded me that I may need business cards at some point. I’m not quite satisfied with this copy but it’s close.
For the past 12 weeks, I have been experimenting with the concept of a DIY MFA. I don’t have any career aspirations that actually require an official MFA, but I know that there’s so much that I could learn from such a program that would be beneficial to me as a writer, and I am a big fan of lifelong education. I essentially wanted to outline my own class to take each semester, leaning into the wisdom of others and all the rich resources that are out there to improve my writing. Each semester would be 12 weeks long, giving me three courses a year plus a nice break between them.
So I read a ton of the background info on the DIY MFA website (see link above), created a sort of MFA 101 syllabus (gosh, I’ve missed this part of teaching so much), and jumped right in.
There are definitely challenges with trying to teach yourself something that you don’t already know. There are also delightful discoveries.
If I give myself an honest assessment, I would have made a B in the class I created if I had taken it for real from an accredited university. I accomplished the main goal, which was to build strategies for incorporating the following four elements of a traditional MFA into every week:
Writing (putting words on the page to improve craft, creativity, and productivity)
Reading (learning both what works and what doesn’t from the examples of others)
Community (collaborating with writers/artists, connecting with an audience, and/or submitting/performing work)
Education (listening, watching, and reading things to learn how to do the previous three elements better from people who excel at them)
But I didn’t come close to finishing all the things I had outlined to do. I loaded myself up with articles to read and podcasts to listen to (the plan was to mimic a studying/lecture situation), and I made extravagant goals that, looking back, pretty much ignored the fact that I have two jobs and am not a full-time grad student.
I gave myself a ton of resources to get through and activities to complete every week. It didn’t look like that long of a list when I started, but about seven weeks in, out of curiosity, I added up the time it would take to get through the resources outlined in that week’s plan. Almost 11 hours of podcasts alone, which are not my favorite media by a long shot. Before I started this project, I might have listened to one or two podcast episodes a month. And suddenly I expected myself to dive into 11 hours of them a week? Bless my heart. No wonder I was overwhelmed.
Additionally, podcasts were but one aspect of my education that I was trying to fit in. I also listed weekly writing, reading, and community goals that, if completed in full, would have taken at least twice as many hours than the education portion. This resulted in a to-do list that would have been a heavy load even if this project was the only responsibility I had in life.
It was easy to get discouraged by looking at all I wasn’t getting done every week. Upon reflection, however, the reason this typically straight-A student is pleased with the overall outcome is that no semester in a traditional MFA would have been this packed. A 9-hour class schedule in most programs is considered full-time, because it takes into account that, to do well, you will likely need to spend 3-4 times as many hours outside class, reading and completing assignments, as you spend inside class. I went into this as if it were one (3-hour) course, but the syllabus I created was easily the equivalent of a 12-hour graduate workload. That I finished a little more than half of it means I exceeded my initial expectations.
And I loved every minute of it.
Well, most of the minutes. Gonna be more selective and seriously dial back the number of podcast episodes I listen to each week for the next round starting in January. I just…that is not the life for me.
But it forced me to be more mindful of my goals and how they balance. As a result, I’ve written more in the last 12 weeks than I have in the rest of the year combined. I also feel less stressed about decisions about my involvement with my various artsy communities (specifically, those times I want to do something but need to say no) because I now have a better overall understanding of my creative life as a whole. More of that, please.
I also think having an official textbook for each semester would be helpful because then I can choose additional resources that complement it rather than jumping topics so much. For example, the next session’s textbook is Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, which I have been through once already, but I know there’s so much more to learn there. And Cameron’s book is so detailed that the syllabus will basically write itself.
So this first session was a success, even if it didn’t always feel like it at the time.
A few things that are available to peruse for those who need to take a break in my office. Just a little light reading.
I love December and also am already tired of December. There are so many things that I really enjoy happening. But also…there are so many things. This month is Advent, the end of the semester, the start of Christmas, and the end of the year all in one. There are evaluations, interviews, EOY reports, etc., due. There are parties and reviews and the tying up of all manner of loose ends. Also, don’t forget joy and magic and miracles (oh my).
I’m reading Silence and Other Surprising Invitations of Advent by Enuma Okoro throughout the month, but I’m also combining finishing up my reading goal with my Advent calendar. I use little knitted pockets on my tree to store prompts, and this year, they’re reading prompts. I’ll pick one, read a book that fits the category, and then go to the next one. The categories include things like:
Christmas themed
Next in a series
Features a talking animal
Single word title
They also include practical things like:
Next book due at the library
Girlxoxo challenge
Alphabet challenge
Book club selection
If this goes as planned, I will finish my reading goal by the skin of my teeth. Even if nothing goes as planned, though, I still have an exciting reading (etc.) month ahead, and I hope you have a wonderful December regardless of how you spend it!
Last week, I was at the family farm and limiting screen time due to a concussion, but I’m feeling much better now. It’s the time of the year when I’m holiday-ing and transitioning to a new yearly theme, but there are still snippets of home that you’ll see throughout each week’s review this month (and of course, there will be a general review of what the theme has taught me near the end of December).
I love this tour of the place where the writer lives. So much good stuff about home and honoring the generosity of the earth and all its creatures. Read it slowly with your favorite warm beverage.
Did You Hear About Kitty Karr? by Crystal Smith Paul – I would probably not have picked this one up if it wasn’t suggested for a book discussion at work. I’m so glad I did. The pacing was perfect. If I were teaching a writing class, this is the book I would use to show how it’s done. The writer unfolded the story beautifully, revealing just enough to spark interest along the way and building up to big moments with perfect timing. I felt like I was making discoveries along with the main character. I was never bored at any point, and there are not many books that I can say that about.
The Silent Gondoliers by William Goldman – I adored this small book by the author of The Princess Bride. Similar storytelling style – a lot of charm and humor and quirky characters. Fantastical, mystical…it was a lot of fun.
The 12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington – This book was about 200 pages, but it seemed so much longer. If you want to brush up on your time management skills, this is a decent guide with solid tips. It’s especially helpful if you’re a person who tends to thrive with short bursts of intense focus and activity. Reader beware, though – there is a LOT of traditional, neurotypical, motivational speaker-y advice on productivity that fell flat with me. If I could hype up or push myself into being more productive, I would have already published 40 books, own a house, be a Pilates instructor, and have a regular workout schedule that seems as intuitive as breathing by now. If you are reading it and find these bits more overwhelming than instructive, it’s ok to put it down.
Y’all. I was looking for my mom’s surprise cookies recipe to take to cookbook club tonight, and I ran across my old blog that chronicled the foodie weekends Maggie and I had. There are only a few posts, and it’s very, very yellow, but it was a fun trip down memory lane. Damn, I loved that kitchen. *moment of silence* Also, I notice that our cocktail weekend didn’t make it to print. That tracks. That was a fun time. And aw, also this one, the blog I had on Blogger for a minute before I decided that WordPress was a better fit for what I wanted to do when Livejournal started getting wonky. Good times.
The weekend is full, but it should also be fun. I hope yours is fun as well!
(Not a pic of the most recent leftover soup described below, but definitely one of my happier accidents from the past)
One of the things I get most excited to make when the weather is even the slightest bit chilly is leftover soup. It’s especially useful at the end of a holiday or multiple days of gathering when you’ve cooked a lot and have multiple random bits of dishes too big to throw out but too small to serve everyone for another meal. It combines three of my favorite things:
Soup
Creativity
Minimizing food waste
I take a look in my fridge and pantry and identify the items that will definitely be beyond their useful date before I get around to eating them. Or items that I have a ridiculous amount of (like The Great Chickpea Debacle of yore pictured above). Or items that don’t go with anything else but the very specific recipe I bought them for. Or items that would just taste great in a soup.
I gather them, imagine what they would taste like together, and ponder a spice profile that most closely fits it (and also my existing spice collection). Then I warm some oil, chop up whatever soupy aromatics (onion, garlic, celery, peppers, carrots) I have on hand, add them to the oil, and get started crafting my soup.
This past Saturday, I got to teach my dad how to make leftover soup. This was thrilling in several ways. First, I hardly ever get to teach my dad cooking tips – it’s usually just following his instructions on whatever plan he already has in his mind. Second, I got to root around freely in their over-the-top herb/spice collection. Finally, I got to watch his amazement as he discovered the joys of combining coconut milk and lemon, one of my favorite culinary delights in life.
In addition to sauteed onion, garlic, and celery, we combined:
mashed sweet potatoes with rosemary and butter
boiled russet potatoes
green bean casserole (green beans, cream of mushroom soup, milk, and those weirdly addictive crunchy onion things)
cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, random garden herb blend, fresh cracked black pepper, salt
coconut milk
lemon juice
Other than adding enough water to make it the consistency we wanted, we didn’t fuss around with it too much. Just let it thicken and simmered it until we declared it done.
It was a hit! The end result was homey and warm and comforting and delicious. I was especially pleased with the salty-sweet theme. Mom, Dad, and I all enjoyed it, and I got to bring the small amount we had left over home to savor the next day.
If you’ve never made leftover soup, I highly recommend it. It’s a low-stakes experiment from which you may discover new favorite flavor profiles or combos.
Goodreads tells me I’m 20 books behind on my goal. What Goodreads doesn’t realize is that November and December are typically cozy, super-reading months, so I am confident that 180 for the year is still within reach. I’m still finishing up several books from last month, but of course, I’m already excited about what’s next.
Book Clubs
The Measure by Nikki Erlick (which will also satisfy my “author whose name begins with E” prompt for the alphabet challenge)
I started the year with the goal to 1) read books I already own and 2) work on my massive TBR. While I have technically done both of these things all year, I’ve realized that trying to even make a dent in my home collection as well as all the books I want to read enough to put them on the list is somewhat of a fool’s errand. I may have finally come to terms with the fact that this is never going to happen and that’s OK.
Something I can complete and that keeps me out of a rut? Reading challenges. Oh, how I’ve missed Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge and the POPSUGAR Reading Challenge this year. Even though I linked them, I’m not even going to read through that list. It’s too tempting to see how far I can get in two months (i.e., not far. I already know. No need to torture myself.).
What I am going to do is try to finish the simpler challenges I took on this year. I still have quite a few to go for my alphabet challenge, and I have a good shot at finishing both the Girlxoxo and MMD Minimalist ones before the year is out.
(From Season 7 of Grace and Frankie, episode 14 – “The Paprikash,” as viewed on my teeny tiny netbook)
I love this whole show, but this episode (this scene in particular) is easily one of my top five favorites. Grace calls her brother Jeffrey because she keeps trying to make her mother’s chicken paprikash recipe (which turns out to be her dad’s recipe) and it never quite turned out the way she wanted it to. But what Jeffrey wants to talk about is the dad he never knew because he died when he was four, which is a painful memory Grace would rather not revisit.
But Frankie has an idea.
Frankie: “I think there’s a way for both of you to get what you want. Grace wants the recipe and Jeffrey wants to know about his dad. So every ingredient you give Grace, she’ll give you a detail about your father.”
Grace: “Frankie, that is the most insane idea that you’ve…”
Jeffrey: “One quartered chicken.”
Grace: “He slept in the hospital when you had pneumonia.”
And they went from there, alternating memories of their dad with the food they both remembered from their childhoods.
I ugly-cried so hard.
This is what the food I grew up with and all my favorite dishes I’ve made since mean to me. It’s not just a pleasant taste or smell (although most of them are delicious). It’s inherently linked to the memories I have, sitting around the table or on the couch, in the kitchen or at a suitable distance so as not to irritate the cook.
It’s the soup Mom made when she came to Denton to take care of me when I was too sick to stand for several weeks.
It’s the kind eyes of the farmer at the market who snuck more Crowder peas into my bag while I was trying to pull it together after bursting into tears as I told him how my MeMaw always grew them in her garden.
It’s learning that I do like cherries after all and figuring out how to give recipes my own flair.
It’s being a little dissatisfied with most of the chocolate cake and steak I eat anywhere but the farm because no one makes them like Mom and Dad (respectively).
[Seriously – Mom’s chocolate icing – it’s like ganache and buttercream had a baby that got all their best genes. It’s fudgy and decadent and amazing.]
I may have run out of steam a little here at the end (it’s been a hard month). And there are hundreds more stories to tell, but you get the gist. When I think about what home means to me, there’s always food and drink involved in some way. Every place I’ve ever lived has its own menu with memories embedded firmly within it.
I hope you’ve enjoyed the stories and the food, and I hope you get a chance to eat wonderful things with people you love very soon.
M. Suzanne Terry 