This week has been hectic both at work and in my personal life, but there have been so many things that have delighted and pleased me. Here are a few:
I am fascinated that such a thing as a happiness expert exists (I’m a fan, to be clear), and I enjoyed this article on their daily habits.
Roxane Gay is saying goodbye to her column Work Friend, and she wrote a beautiful send-off to it.
Dorie Greenspan of World Peace Cookies fame (and baking in general – the cookies are just how I was introduced to her) wrote a lovely piece on getting out of a personal rut/funk entitled “A book that’s bigger than you are.”
I love the Gaia Music Collective (I want to sing with 100+ people!!) but I especially loved this arrangement. I played this song for my piano recital the same month my childhood friend Ginger died, and it always reminds me of her.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend full of all your favorite things and people!
This was a momentous week. This was the first week of the whole year that I had zero doctor’s appointments. Also no labs, no tests, no treatments, no “here is what this next thing is going to cost you” meetings. Nothing. It’s been nice. I could get used to this. I mean, I won’t, because soon I start radiation and will have a treatment every day. But it’s been good to have a break.
Inspiration has come from a lot of places this week. Enjoy!
I love this commencement speech that Reshma Saujani gave at Smith last year. Down with imposter syndrome!
This is terrifying and inspiring and bring it on (the menopause, to be clear. Some of the rest of it can just skip me right over, thanks.).
I love this piece by Shawn Smucker. We are dancing animals! So we go to independent bookstores like Nooks to commune with other dancing animals.
One of my favorite things that show up in my inbox is Susannah Conway’s newsletter. I started following for pics of her cat and the occasional backyard fox, but she also shares a lot of wisdom and a glimpse into the kind of life I’d like to lead someday. She has several online courses, one of which starts on Monday. Journal Your Life sounds perfect for establishing a journal practice if you don’t know where to start or if you just need a few pointers to make it joyful enough to stick even on don’t-wanna days.
Finally, this week I read You Can Talk to God LikeThat by Abby Norman, and it was exactly what I needed to hear right now. I met Abby online many years ago, and she’s been one of my favorite people for spiritual encouragement and wisdom ever since. I’m probably going to talk more about this book in its own post once I process my feelings a little more, but if you were raised to always praise and always be thankful and maybe stuff your anger/hurt/disappointment down under a blanket of false positivity, Abby is here to tell you that’s bullshit, and I heartily second that emotion.
This week was a lot. First week back to work after surgery, and it went pretty well. We had two Freshman Orientation sessions this week, so our team was running around everywhere between tabling, talking to parents, giving tours, and answering the phone that kept ringing off the hook. And next week’s schedule looks the same.
So this weekend is all about relaxing! I’m gonna DoorDash some dinner tonight (and maybe breakfast tomorrow, too) and read to my heart’s content. Well, read until I fall asleep. I am not sure there are enough hours ever to fully reach my heart’s content when it comes to reading.
Links for this week:
I finally broke down and started a GoFundMe for my medical expenses after learning how much I would have to pay out of pocket for my upcoming radiation treatments. But this is the last major phase of treatment – it’s all just ongoing prevention and checkups after that!
I’m very excited for my friend Andi who recently signed a contract with a publisher for all her books! I also really like her YouTube channel.
Lessons in Chemistry is one of my favorite books I’ve read in the last few years. Easily top five. This interview with author Bonnie Garmus makes me love it even more. Success really is the best revenge.
Welp, I did it. I subscribed to Archer and Olive, and I just got the notification that my June box was delivered. So I have that to look forward to later this evening!
Finally, I love the Quiet Life community Susan Cain has created, and one of the neatest things they do is the community art project.
It’s been a pretty chill week here overall. I mean, my back seized up (due to sleeping too long? Sleeping in the same position? Breathing too hard? Who even knows.) for the first time in my life, and that was unpleasant. I told the nurse taking my labs that it had never happened to me before and she said, “How old are you?” When I replied, “49,” she laughed and told me I was due. I’ve done a casual survey of people I’ve spoken to this week and can confirm that they all seem to think that’s a fair assessment. *sigh* Fine.
Anyway, here are some things I ran across on the internet this week. Enjoy!
Stop everything and go to my friend Shadan’s Etsy shop, HappyHeartsBoxes. I can personally attest that she puts together the best gifts. Let her take the guesswork out of it for you.
I am a big proponent of the 3 Drink Theory, and mine definitely follow the caffeinate/alleviate/hydrate pattern. My most frequent trifecta at work is coffee, an espresso milkshake from The Market, and a bottle of water.
I’ve added the Aubrey app for more audiobook options. I’m most excited about the prospect of discussion questions included at the end of many of the books (great for book clubs when I’m in charge of leading) and the monthly listen-alongs! I think my first is going to be Alice in Wonderland in May!
I love this piece (and these book selections) from Lisa Bartelt. I, too, am (more) drawn (than usual) to dystopian or darker fiction these days.
I met Shawn and Maile at a writing retreat in Virginia a few years ago (I say a few, it was pre-pandemic…what is time…) and have followed their writing ever since. I can’t think of two people more well-suited to owning a bookstore and fostering a literary community. I’m so excited for them and their new adventure with Nooks, and if you’re in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, check it out and let me live vicariously through you.
I hope you all have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!
This week has been pretty OK. Today, on his birthday, I’m thankful for my brother-in-law. He is always eager to help out with random tasks, and I think he cares more about my car maintenance than I do. He has a sweet heart and gets nerdy about good deals, which is super endearing. Glad he’s part of our family!
I’ve been thinking a lot about the chaos of the world this week. We humans are just so, so bad at…humanity. The therapy has been really good lately, though, so instead of spiraling, these thoughts have prompted a craving for creating restorative, quiet space and practicing consistent self-care (which are important for maintaining sustainable education, awareness, conversations, activism, etc.). Of course, this has led me down rabbit holes, chasing tools that might help. So that’s what today’s list brings. These aren’t necessarily things I am going to incorporate, but I found them particularly beautiful and thought they might be things others would enjoy as well.
I have toyed with the idea of the Archer & Olive subscription box for a few months. I looove and hoard office and craft supplies. Any time I’m at a yard sale or a craft store or Targe with a little fun money to burn, that’s what I’m drawn to. While the subscription is a bit pricey, you get quite a few nice things with each box. And they’re soooo pretty. I may subscribe just to have gorgeous things on hand when someone’s birthday (or any day, really) comes up and I want to give them a little something special.
I ordered the latest copy of Bella Grace, and it is a visual treat. The articles and lists inside are not particularly groundbreaking, but they’re easy reads. They’re great for a quick reminder that there is more to life than the to-do list. Sometimes, I just thumb through to look at the beautiful pictures (also would be good for collaging/mood boards, if you’re into that sort of thing).
I am obsessed with the Finch app. I have often struggled with tracking simple daily self-care, and this makes it fun. My birb is named Bandit, and she’s adorable.
I find myself using the Insight Timer app more days than not. It’s where I found the sleep music I’ve been using for a while (also, I think I want to make a sleep music album myself. I think that’s my jam.), but lately, I’ve also been using some of the good-morning/good-evening meditations.
Finally, while I think this would be too much stimulation for me personally, I can see how a Northern Lights lamp like this one would be a cozy addition to someone’s home.
Do you have favorite self-care tools? What are they?
Happy April! In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had some time off from work to rest and breathe, and it was so good. I should do that more often. Noted.
Here are some things I’ve enjoyed in the last few weeks.
On a Facebook post my friend and bandmate Jesse described the music they played during his head CT. I especially loved this quote at the end: “Overall it was a magical concert albeit brief, but this is a simple reminder that the beauty of music and art is fleeting, ephemeral. The only reason I didn’t give it a 5/5 was because the light show left something to be desired, and there was no encore,” and the link he provided to D Magazine’s article about listening to the symphony in space.
I’ve been anxious and insomnia-ed lately and super steroid-zoomie lately, and somatic yoga has helped.
I loooove Ollie Schminkey’s poem. And the delivery? Wonderful. I love the enthusiasm, the frustration, the insight, the passion. I especially love the parts that the audience clearly loves, too, particularly “I am not trapped in my body; I am trapped in other people’s perceptions of my body.” Worth a watch (and a re-watch), especially for those who find themselves in a place of “I just don’t understand.” This might help.
“And Yet the Books” – a treasure to read for National Poetry Month from Czeslaw Milosz via Susan Cain.
My good friends Maggie and Michelle are coming into town today and spending my birthday weekend with me, and I’m so excited!! We are going to eat cupcakes, binge-watch comfort TV, and just bask in each other’s presence all weekend.
Up until very recently (i.e., a couple of days ago), I have been operating under the assumption that I will have the energy to do everything I really want to do. I mean, I knew in my head that this was not probable. But I cling to the idea that I’m extraordinary. Well, I am. Extraordinarily sensitive to treatment in that I have had almost every one of the milder side effects of chemo so far. Apparently, that means it’s working, so I’ll take it. But still.
Could it also mean that maybe I don’t stretch myself to the very end of my energy every single day? I think so. I think that would be a good thing to stop doing. Every week, I find more and more that I usually love to do that I just don’t have the energy for, and that’s going to have to be ok for now. The things I love will still be there when I’m well.
In the meantime, here are some things I love that take relatively little bandwidth.
Oh, gosh. Ruth Reichl, Laurie Ochoa, and Nancy Silverton have a podcast together. It’s called Three Ingredients and I am obsessed (with a PODCAST?! I know, right?!).
Five ways to trick yourself into decluttering. The timer works really well for me. I can do anything for five minutes, and I can get a surprising amount of things done in that time.
Dorie Greenspan has a new book coming out, and it’s about simple cakes. I feel like I need to pre-order it, because simple cakes are my favorites. Give me anything I can throw in a bundt pan and maybe not even ice, and I’m happy.
My writing is hitting a slump, so I’m going to refresh a little next week with the Healing Through Writing Festival. It’s all online, and most of the sessions are free. You can upgrade for a pretty reasonable price to get All Access, but per my energy level, I may just need to stick to the other sessions. But if you are a creative and need a boost, too, you may want to check it out. The presenters I recognize are top-notch, so I’m excited to learn what everyone else has to say.
Finally, a very helpful product that my friend Steph introduced me to. My skin has been so sensitive – to heat, allergens, etc. More than usual, I mean. It is a mess. Enter Active Skin Repair Hydrogel. I can put it on cuts, burns, allergy rashes…anything. And it soothes and heals. It has been a godsend and if this product were a person I would marry it. Highly recommend if you are similarly afflicted.
Feeling a little puny this week, but otherwise, it’s been a pretty good one. I have a slow weekend ahead, and I’m looking forward to that. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow morning!
Next week is the students’ spring break, but I’m also taking off a couple of days and then a few days the week after that to make a long birthday weekend. Shaping up to be a good rest for the next couple of weeks!
“In another life, I’m a booktuber.” Susannah Conway is one of my favorite people on the internet, and I love this short piece. I like my life and my choices in general. But I’ve been a bit blue this week and musing on the lives I could have had is a little bit of a breather.
In niche news, I’ve been into villanelles lately (e.g., “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”). I find their rhythm both inspiring and soothing. Might try doing something with that. Stay tuned.
A little inspiration for getting my garden started this weekend. That’s the one big task I have planned for home for this weekend. I have my soil and seeds and here’s hoping another big freeze doesn’t come through before Texas spring really springs.
I love this piece on embodiment and approaching living as an art form, taking into account possibilities as well as limits – The Art of Living (The Convivial Society)
This week has been a mix of ups and downs, but it has felt like the most normal week I’ve had so far this year. I got to see some friends and had enough energy to put in almost a full week of work. I’m about to hunker down with a book and a cup of tea for the evening, but I thought I’d share a few things with you first.
One of the main things on my mind this week is the wildfires in the Texas Panhandle. My parents live a few hours south of where most of the blazes happened. So much loss, and here is how you can help.
The title “Warm House on a Quiet Day” stuck out as a cozy invitation in my inbox, but when I clicked to read it, it was so much more. Laura Grace Weldon’s words read like my constant internal monologue.
I’ve been trying to find a small, portable snack and ran across this little gem – savory oatmeal cookies. I made the rosemary/parmesan ones. This weekend, I may experiment with subbing thyme, adding dried cherries, and leaving out all the dairy for the next batch. I feel like the possibilities are endless, and I am committed to exploring them with reckless abandon.
This piece by Lisa Bartelt is beautiful. My church is coming through for me in lovely, astounding ways these days, and it’s been a good reminder of why I picked them and why I choose to keep coming back. But even during more normal seasons, the rituals and the community I have there work wonders in my soul.
And finally, I got to go to a vigil for Nex Benedict last night, and it was lovely. Following up a bit from last week, here is a list of resources from OUTreach Denton that can help you learn about how to get more involved in advocating for LGBTQ+ folk, particularly youth. Most of these are based in the DFW area, but I encourage you to look for resources around where you live if you’re not local to me.
I hope you’ve had a good week, and I hope you have an even better weekend!
Edited: At the community vigil in Owasso, Nex’s friends confirmed that he used he/him/his pronouns with friends and they/them at home. I have updated this post to reflect how Nex is known among his friends.
It’s been a hard week personally. Long saga, but the gist is the chemo port was successfully placed but they did not put me under during the procedure so I’ve been dealing with the fallout of that trauma (it took a full day and a half of “I’m fine everything’s fine it’s ok” to finally call it trauma, just in time to have a meltdown about it when I had labs done on Wednesday so maybe we journal more consistently and maybe make an actual appointment with the nice therapist soon). But some good news – no spread to the uterus, so that was a huge relief.
And after the excellent care – physical, emotional, and mental – from the awesome team at Texas Oncology and some much-needed social support from friends over the course of the week, yesterday was much better. But I’m still exhausted.
This is, of course, added to the heartbreak of the ongoing updates on the death of Nex Benedict, the trans student who was murdered by bullies in Oklahoma this month (full disclosure – I have no energy left for diplomacy and I don’t see that changing this year while I’m undergoing cancer treatment, so buckle up – we’re going to be blunt and call things what they are around here for the foreseeable future…and maybe longer if I discover I like it as much as I suspect I will).
If you are similarly heartbroken, make sure you are taking care of yourself extra this week. If you are trans or nonbinary, I want to tell you what I can never say often enough – your life and your right to just fucking exist in peace are important to me. If you are not heartbroken, do some soul-searching and examine why (I’ve put a few resources below if information will help). I say this especially to people who share my faith, because the God you follow is heartbroken about the horrific treatment and negligence that led to his death, so either return to said God and repent your hard-heartedness or start being honest about what spirit you are actually following, because it’s not a holy one. Also note that sometimes repentance starts with donations (see below).
Not just a problem here (which absolutely does not negate in any way that it is a problem here, so take any what-abouts you may be tempted to entertain and throw them in the garbage where they belong – that it’s also awful elsewhere obviously means there’s more work to do, not less) – JAMA Network
The VAWnet project from the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
Btw, these sources were found by a Google search of “statistics on trans nonbinary risks” and, when that pulled up mostly .org sites (i.e., usually solid, accurate studies but also often called out for being slanted, as every organization inherently has an agenda simply because it exists to further a certain cause, which naysayers like to point out, forgetting that their own pet organizations also have agendas because that’s what organizations do /rant), I spent a little extra time vetting before adding them to the list. Then I added a second search of “statistics on trans nonbinary risks site:edu” (i.e., typically the most heavily scrutinized studies) to supplement. All of this took ten minutes, so take heart that it’s pretty quick and easy to find more good info if you are looking for it.
Search “trans and nonbinary blogs” and you will find a treasure trove of people who are putting their own stories and experiences out there to help people better understand (usually free of charge, which is incredibly generous, given how much emotional labor this level of public vulnerability requires. That being said, it would be appropriate to donate if they have a button or widget installed to do so.). The stats can give you general facts, but these personal sources are the ones that have had the greatest impact on my own empathy and understanding by seeing how navigating the world affects specific people.
If you are reading and you have sources you want to add, please do so in the comments (especially if you want to share your own blog and stories). Sources that sympathize with aggressors or pose arguments that trans/nonbinary or LGBTQIA+ in general are not real identities will be deleted. Those are not valid viewpoints on this issue, and I am not making room in my online space to pretend that they are. No exceptions.
I am angry, but I am not angry with you (unless you happen to be a Texas or Oklahoma lawmaker or school board member. In that case, every single one of you is on my list. Do better. Tell your little work friends to do better. Do it now.). Okay, fine. Here’s a little diplomacy. Enjoy.
M. Suzanne Terry 