One of the prompts for Nowhere Bookshop’s 2024 Reading Bingo is “Your Roman Empire book.” That is, a book about a subject that you think of all the time – “a niche or specific obsession, interest or event that has a considerable impact or influence on someone.”
There are many topics that could fit into this category for me. My ideal home. Hygge. Neurospicy brains and the wonders of how they function. Mutual aid. Fair labor. Countries I could retire to that practice mutual aid and fair labor.
As I was pondering which of these topics I would choose a book to read about, an image sprang to mind.
A herd of musk oxen.
Any time someone does something sweet or says something kind, or any time I think of teamwork or community (which is quite often, especially given that a big part of my job is leading a team), I think of the humble musk ox.
The preacher of the church I belonged to for most of my 20s and early 30s was a great storyteller. One of my favorite stories he told was about these large, wooly creatures. Musk oxen aren’t particularly fast or agile. Their main predators – wolves and grizzly bears – could easily take out a musk ox on its own.
The problem for wolves and bears is that they can’t fight just one musk ox. At the first sign of danger, the herd circles up, facing outward. They put the young, the ill, and the injured – the most vulnerable – in the center of the circle to protect them. When the attack comes, the predator has to face all the strongest members of the herd.
It’s a pretty effective defense strategy and a good example of what a healthy community looks like.
There are many ideas I picked up at this church that I’ve had to confront and unlearn. There are several things I accepted as given when I was there that my current boundaries wouldn’t let me be a part of now.
But it is also true that these are the people who taught me how to live in community. They taught me how to be vulnerable enough to depend on others and how to be someone others can depend on, too.
Life seems to be plodding along lately. I am not doing a lot of things I’d usually do because I don’t have the energy (and also there are so, so many germs out there that my body just can’t handle being around right now). My treatment has hit a small hiccup (delayed due to concerning lab results – nothing too drastic or out of the ordinary, I’m assured), and that’s frustrating.
But I’m getting through it without too many terrors, so I guess that’s something.
This weekend, I participated in Dewey’s 24-hour Readathon. And by participated, I do mean read sporadically and fell asleep a lot. I finished one of the books I started, though, and I’ll probably finish another tonight. I don’t see me finishing the book for book club by tomorrow. It’s a long one, and while I started it last month, I haven’t been reading consistently so time got away from me a bit.
The whole weekend was so relaxing. I even got some journaling in, and I remembered my word for the year.
Quiet.
In many ways, it has been quieter simply because I’m doing less and staying home more. I’m even doing less when I’m at home. I still clean and work on projects but in much shorter spurts. I haven’t had the attention span to read as much as usual. I’ve decided that while I’m still going to try to complete some of my reading challenges, writing reviews for each book I do read is probably not a reasonable expectation this year. So it’s been quieter here, too.
But when I do leave home, everything is so intense.
I’m not just going to work; I’m rushing through getting things done because I’m out so much with appointments and don’t want to miss anything important. Also, my office is moving (again) into a louder part of the office (again). One day, I’ll actually get to settle into this position and feel like I have my head on straight. I hope.
I’m not just getting regular check-ups but intense treatments that make me feel puny, and that affects every other aspect of my life.
I’m attending very few social events, but I feel way more social than usual because I’m trying to keep people informed and constantly answering questions of “How are you doing?” and “How can I help?” which are very sweet questions to ask. I do miss, however, having conversations about literally anything else. I’m so tired of talking about myself (which I realize may not be believable given that I’m currently doing so on the internet but…you get it).
What I want to explore this week is carving out quiet spaces in the chaos. I want to turn my new office into a calm area where I can be productive without getting overstimulated. I want to give myself buffers around my appointments so that I am not just darting to them and rushing back but having a chance to process (or just breathe) a little before I jump right into the next thing. I want to be bolder about changing the subject when I can’t possibly fathom talking about my body or my needs for one minute longer. Simply ending these conversations when I need to is also a good alternative.
I enjoy solitude and quiet time, so while this is a challenge, it’s a welcome one. In fact, I think it’s just what I need to get myself back to some semblance of what I meant this year to be.
Happy April! In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had some time off from work to rest and breathe, and it was so good. I should do that more often. Noted.
Here are some things I’ve enjoyed in the last few weeks.
On a Facebook post my friend and bandmate Jesse described the music they played during his head CT. I especially loved this quote at the end: “Overall it was a magical concert albeit brief, but this is a simple reminder that the beauty of music and art is fleeting, ephemeral. The only reason I didn’t give it a 5/5 was because the light show left something to be desired, and there was no encore,” and the link he provided to D Magazine’s article about listening to the symphony in space.
I’ve been anxious and insomnia-ed lately and super steroid-zoomie lately, and somatic yoga has helped.
I loooove Ollie Schminkey’s poem. And the delivery? Wonderful. I love the enthusiasm, the frustration, the insight, the passion. I especially love the parts that the audience clearly loves, too, particularly “I am not trapped in my body; I am trapped in other people’s perceptions of my body.” Worth a watch (and a re-watch), especially for those who find themselves in a place of “I just don’t understand.” This might help.
“And Yet the Books” – a treasure to read for National Poetry Month from Czeslaw Milosz via Susan Cain.
I’ll probably also read some May Sarton. Probably some Louise Glück. And because the libro.fm reading challenge prompt, “Listen to at least ten minutes of an audiobook every day for a month” will make me listen to just a little bit of poetry every day, Poetry Unbound, curated by Pádraig Ó Tuama.
One of my in-person book clubs is participating in a choose-your-own-adventure poetry night, where we share our favorites of the poems we read this month with each other. The library book club is discussing our favorite young adult selections. The other two are reading:
Other than my book club selections and the heightened focus on poetry, though, I am taking the rest of my reading time this month to read the things from January-March’s TBRs that I haven’t finished yet. Or at least make a dent in them. My focus and reading speed have been way down recently, but given everything else that’s going on, I suppose that makes sense. Taking a month to acknowledge that and regroup.
My good friends Maggie and Michelle are coming into town today and spending my birthday weekend with me, and I’m so excited!! We are going to eat cupcakes, binge-watch comfort TV, and just bask in each other’s presence all weekend.
Up until very recently (i.e., a couple of days ago), I have been operating under the assumption that I will have the energy to do everything I really want to do. I mean, I knew in my head that this was not probable. But I cling to the idea that I’m extraordinary. Well, I am. Extraordinarily sensitive to treatment in that I have had almost every one of the milder side effects of chemo so far. Apparently, that means it’s working, so I’ll take it. But still.
Could it also mean that maybe I don’t stretch myself to the very end of my energy every single day? I think so. I think that would be a good thing to stop doing. Every week, I find more and more that I usually love to do that I just don’t have the energy for, and that’s going to have to be ok for now. The things I love will still be there when I’m well.
In the meantime, here are some things I love that take relatively little bandwidth.
Oh, gosh. Ruth Reichl, Laurie Ochoa, and Nancy Silverton have a podcast together. It’s called Three Ingredients and I am obsessed (with a PODCAST?! I know, right?!).
Five ways to trick yourself into decluttering. The timer works really well for me. I can do anything for five minutes, and I can get a surprising amount of things done in that time.
Dorie Greenspan has a new book coming out, and it’s about simple cakes. I feel like I need to pre-order it, because simple cakes are my favorites. Give me anything I can throw in a bundt pan and maybe not even ice, and I’m happy.
My writing is hitting a slump, so I’m going to refresh a little next week with the Healing Through Writing Festival. It’s all online, and most of the sessions are free. You can upgrade for a pretty reasonable price to get All Access, but per my energy level, I may just need to stick to the other sessions. But if you are a creative and need a boost, too, you may want to check it out. The presenters I recognize are top-notch, so I’m excited to learn what everyone else has to say.
Finally, a very helpful product that my friend Steph introduced me to. My skin has been so sensitive – to heat, allergens, etc. More than usual, I mean. It is a mess. Enter Active Skin Repair Hydrogel. I can put it on cuts, burns, allergy rashes…anything. And it soothes and heals. It has been a godsend and if this product were a person I would marry it. Highly recommend if you are similarly afflicted.
Feeling a little puny this week, but otherwise, it’s been a pretty good one. I have a slow weekend ahead, and I’m looking forward to that. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow morning!
Next week is the students’ spring break, but I’m also taking off a couple of days and then a few days the week after that to make a long birthday weekend. Shaping up to be a good rest for the next couple of weeks!
“In another life, I’m a booktuber.” Susannah Conway is one of my favorite people on the internet, and I love this short piece. I like my life and my choices in general. But I’ve been a bit blue this week and musing on the lives I could have had is a little bit of a breather.
In niche news, I’ve been into villanelles lately (e.g., “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”). I find their rhythm both inspiring and soothing. Might try doing something with that. Stay tuned.
A little inspiration for getting my garden started this weekend. That’s the one big task I have planned for home for this weekend. I have my soil and seeds and here’s hoping another big freeze doesn’t come through before Texas spring really springs.
I love this piece on embodiment and approaching living as an art form, taking into account possibilities as well as limits – The Art of Living (The Convivial Society)
Read a book by an author with an upcoming event (virtual or in person) and then attend the event (Book Riot)
Additional/Ongoing Reads
Sarah and I are tackling Proust together this year, so I’ve just started Swann’s Way. I’m also still working through Sacred Self-Care for Lent, and reading several books about health.
I adore Modern Mrs. Darcy. Anne Bogel and her whole team have created a bookish community that is fun and organized and about eleventy-four other kinds of wonderful. About midway through each month, she posts Quick Lit, a list of the books that she has been reading and enjoying lately, and she invites others to post their favorite recent reads or links to reviews in the comments.
So I’m going to join in! These are the books I’ve read this year so far (or since the last time I posted about one in a Friday Five), and I’ll include a “recommended for” note with each one.
Recommended for very beginning cooks. This would be a great gift for a young adult getting their first apartment.
My favorite thing about the book is that it talks about things that recipes don’t typically cover (e.g., does your oven run hot, or cold, or true to temp? How can you tell?) but that really make a difference in whether a dish comes together or not. It also gives recipes with each new skill that help the reader learn and practice that particular technique.
The only thing I would change is for the author to lean even further into boldness and experimentation in the kitchen than it does. Some of my favorite dishes I still make today were born of happy accidents that never would have happened had I resisted the temptation to stray or been afraid to mess up and just bypassed a recipe that seemed too intimidating on the surface, and I want others to have the same delightful learning experiences.
Recommended for science fiction fans with a strong sense of justice (or would like to develop/sharpen one) who love character-driven fiction.
I read the first book in this series a while ago and fell in love with the characters. The second one was even better. I appreciated the backstory of one of the main characters alternating with the current storyline (one of my favorite storytelling techniques). One of my favorite things about the way Chambers writes is how well she layers the strengths and struggles of the characters to show each one’s unique way of solving problems and understanding the world around them. It makes the characters memorable and engaging.
Recommended for will-they-won’t-they romance fans who are not turned off by a lot of really obvious signals being missed (I enjoy these stories – I find it comforting to think others are as clueless as I am).
I enjoyed this story overall. It dragged a little in certain spots, and there wasn’t a lot of high-stakes conflict for me. It was a light romance, whereas I like a little more character depth/struggle. But the writing is decent, and if you need something just fun for long waits in lines or doctor’s offices, you may enjoy this.
Recommended for people who like linear time travel (i.e., time travel light – not quantum or, in the words of Dr. Who, wibbly-wobbly time travel) stories that are really more about the relationships between the characters than the time travel aspect.
There were parts of this book that were really hard for me, but it was very good. Content warning: parent/loved one illness. I read it quickly because I was immediately invested in the main character. It’s definitely one of my favorite reads of the year so far.
Recommended for people who like a little romance sprinkled in their historical fiction.
The book I wanted to read was the story of the women who piloted planes during WWII, despite the misogyny and other barriers they were up against. The story I got was mostly that, but there was also a strong undercurrent of the romantic entanglement of the main character. If the story were to focus on interpersonal aspects, the more interesting relationships in the book (the friendships she forged with the other female pilots) would have been my preference. They were part of the story, but they seemed like a backdrop. The book was decent overall; just not what I was expecting.
This was adorable. It was a dinner party that included main characters from a variety of Austen novels and, as indicated by the title, involved the death of everyone’s least favorite villain, Mr. Wickham, who crashed the party. So the story was which of the upstanding guests committed the crime. Witty writing that made me want to re-read all the novels it referenced – a fun, well-executed idea.
Recommended for everyone. Favorite book I’ve read so far this year.
This collection of related short stories is beautifully told. Each character has a distinct voice, and the stories draw you in almost immediately as they buck up against systems that were designed to keep them in boxes. I listened to it on audio, and the reader was great. It’s a short book, and I wasn’t ready for it to end.
Recommended for everyone who is or will go through menopause. Actually, recommend for everyone. Everyone can benefit from knowing these things.
This is the most readable, informative, and comprehensive book I have read about menopause. I follow Dr. Gunter on Instagram so I was familiar with her teaching style from there. She not only gives evidence-based information but also debunks a lot of the fear-mongering that often circulates around this topic, which I appreciated. I need my own copy because it is a great reference for understanding symptoms, especially when to be super concerned vs. when to put it on the list to talk to your doctor the next time you see them. I thought I already knew a lot about menopause, but this book blew me away. Very good resource.
What’s the best book you’ve read in the last few months?
Happy Friday! I’ve mostly been reading about chemotherapy this week, so not a lot from the web to share. But I still have some exciting things and updates.
This Friday is a special one. One of my very best friends turns 40 today! Happy birthday, Michelle! I require you to live at least another 40. More, if possible. But just go ahead and plan on at least another 40. You make the world better and brighter and more badass and I love you so much.
I had my first treatment yesterday and other than being a little tired (probably more from the steroid keeping me awake most of the night than the actual chemo), I am mostly good. My skin is BIG mad so I’m being extra nice to it today.
I’m super excited about seeing The Taste of Things. I’m not really doing large public things like going to movie theaters these days, so I will wait until it streams to see it. But ever since Chocolat, Juliette Binoche is my foodie movie fave, and the trailer looks amazing.
Our team at work is reading The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fableby Patrick Lencioni, to discuss in a few weeks, so I’m probably going to start reading that today. In related news, I may need to stock up on popcorn and tea for the entertaining show that this discussion is likely to be.
Finally, I’m going to do book reviews a little differently this year. I’m going to be participating in Modern Mrs. Darcy’s monthly Quick Lit, so I’ll have a separate post somewhere around the ides of each month to catch up. I think it will be easier to do it all in one post a month, and I’m all about making every single thing I can easier these days. But the MMD community always has great suggestions, so if you’re looking for something to read over the weekend, you can get recommendations galore at that link!
Next week is gonna be…something. Chemo is starting, and I’m hella nervous (and super angry about billing, but more on that later, probably in the next few days). Even more reason for this weekend to be a lot of staying in and resting and nesting and reading all the preparation materials.
Knowledge is power, even when it’s scary.
Some great things to add to your weekend reads:
My friend Beth published a story, and it’s just 0.99! Click over and buy it and give it a read.
We Are Not Okay by Roxane Gay – As you know if you’ve been here long at all, I love Roxane Gay, and I love this piece. In related news, the Sesame Street responses on social media and the reminder of how much I adore Tracy Chapman’s music (I love watching how much Fast Car means to so many performers – give yourself a five-minute break to enjoy Chapman and Combs’s Grammy performance) were a couple of uplifts that I desperately needed this week. Super grateful for that.
One of the things I love about Susan Cain (other than Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, which is easily one of my top five favorite book titles ever) is how well she tackles finding the balance between taking care of your soul (specifically if you are an introvert, but I think the general premise applies to everyone) and contributing to the world in the unique way that only you can. This post is a great example of addressing the tension between those two values that many of us feel.
I’m starting to wrap my head around replacing my beloved bean-shaped loveseat (like, within the next year. Not now. My proverbial plate and my literal stack of bills is full right now). I think I want a loveseat like this. A sofa that I can rearrange that can serve not only as guest bedding but also as storage? In pretty peacock blue (or ooh- blue or green velvet)? Yes, please. On the other hand, this is also very cute and looks similar to what I have and love now.
And finally, I have been feeling pretty sugar-averse these days. It’s funny how eating less of it for just a short amount of time can make most desserts seem too sweet. It’s almost as if my body is relieved I’m eating less sugar. Ahem. Rude, but ok, body. I guess I can continue to listen. Whatever. Anyway, I would make an exception for this Ding Dong cake. I bet it’s DELICIOUS.
I hope your weekend is fun/restful/exciting. Have a good one – whatever that looks like for you!
M. Suzanne Terry 