Now I’m going to take the question about the month-long paid sabbatical and daydream about what I would do if resources weren’t restricted by my current reality.
Most of the month would probably stay the same. I’d still visit friends and family, take day trips, hang out in bookstores and coffee shops, caffeinate significantly, and enjoy having more writing time.
My day trips might turn into longer excursions, though. I’d like to revisit my bookstore or coffee shop road trip idea (still open to guest posts, by the way. Click the link in the previous sentence for details.). Add to my coffee cup collection. I’d also like to spend a week or so in a cabin on the beach, reading and writing and listening to the waves. Or maybe I’d finally cross one of the countries that intrigue me off my bucket list.
Hmm. I might need more than a month.
As long as we’re making wishes, I’d also like a partner who is there for all of it. Well, most of it. I’m still going to need some me time, although probably not as much. Someone who is a good match for me would be one of those rare folks I’m so comfortable with that being with them is almost as relaxing as being alone. I imagine having someone like that to share my everyday life with (sabbatical or not) would up its lush factor a bit.
Because even when I take a week or two off and spend the time the way I’ve outlined here, it’s bittersweet. I haven’t talked about loneliness in a while, but it still permeates most of my days. It’s not as bad as it could be. I’m rich in friendships, and I have good relationships with people at work (which some days, is the only reason I stay). But while friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, they’re not the same. There’s still a specific something missing.
So my lush, unrestricted sabbatical would not just be me and a bottomless bank account. There would also be someone to wake up to and someone in the passenger’s seat, happy to be along for the ride.
Actually sitting down to have a leisurely breakfast is one of my favorite parts of any day off.
Prompt from Montana Happy – “If your boss gave you a month-long paid sabbatical, what would you do and where would you go?”
I’m going to take the question at face value and assume current resources, relationships, etc.
If I had a month to do anything, and both my jobs continued to pay me my full salary, I’d use part of the time off to go see friends I haven’t seen in ages. Drive down to Houston to see Maggie and to San Antonio to see Hope. An extra trip to the farm.
I’d also enjoy day trips to local-ish bookstores that are just enough out of the way that I hardly ever have time to go, like Wild Detectives, Deep Vellum, Interabang, etc. Maybe an overnight jaunt with Sarah up to Magic City.
Otherwise, since all the resources I have would still have to be used to pay the bills, I’d probably keep most of the rest of my schedule, which would keep me in town for the most part. But a few things might change. Since I wouldn’t have to get up at a specific time for work, I’d probably get to see more friends’ shows. Driving down to Dallas mid-week (or, let’s be real, even staying out late in Denton mid-week) wouldn’t be that big of a deal. I’d have leisurely mornings and drink a lot more coffee without worrying about whether it will keep me up too late because there’s no such thing as too late when you’re on sabbatical. I’d get to devote large chunks of time to working on several of my WIPs and doing creative things. I’d probably get my house in something closer to order.
Even assuming no extra resources, just thinking of this possibility has relaxed me.
Words, books, and mugs. And bats (because Halloween).
My desk at work is typically sparse and no-nonsense. This is likely a residual effect from working for so long in shared spaces where I didn’t have any personal space that was just my own. But this month, I’ve actually decorated the space, and it makes a big difference in its coziness. It’s still not a great location, but at least I am surrounded by things I love.
My home office is one of my favorite spaces in my apartment. Even when it’s impossibly messy (as it is now, which is why there’s no picture), it’s still cozy. It sparks creativity and excitement about whatever project I happen to be working on. I occasionally take my laptop into the living room because I think it will be more comfortable, but I almost always end up back in the office before my task is complete. I write faster and better in the office.
I think one of the reasons for this is that I have purposefully designed my home office to represent the life I want to eventually have. Once I’m retired from UNT and have more time to write and create (and perhaps actually make a dent in reading my gargantuan collection), I imagine doing so in a place that looks just like this room. So when I step through the door, I can almost pretend I’m already there.
I spend a lot of time thinking about the perfect bookshelf. I lean toward the tall and simple, but I have to admit that I’m mesmerized by the more asymmetrical pieces. I really love the look of them. Maybe I’ll have more of them in my home if I ever move into a larger space. One of my bookshelves is sort of like that. It folds into the corner, and it’s not as tall as the rest, so the top shelf is more decorative with a cute bookend and a large cup and saucer planter.
Imagine an elephant holding up the books on the left. So cute!
I have old coffee cups and mason jars scattered throughout the room, holding everything from pens and pencils to binder clips or bookmarks. My current knitting project sits at my feet by the desk so that I have something to do with my hands during meetings.
And of course, I’m surrounded by books. That alone would make it a hard space to beat.
In seeking ways to create a lush life, it’s been amazing to discover that just tweaking the physical environment is enough to put me in a more extravagant and abundant headspace.
Do you have a particular space that fuels your creativity? What’s it like?
Remember when I was going to post updates every quarter? What an ambitious plan that was.
I love reading challenges. In fact, I love them so much, I’ve got five going right now. I would not have picked up some of the great books I’ve read this year if I didn’t need them to fulfill a prompt from a challenge:
A lot of the prompts, though, just feel like homework. That’s fine occasionally – I am an avid proponent of reading outside one’s comfort zone. But I also get that from my book clubs pretty often, so I’m not sure I need an extra dose of it. I know for certain I don’t need five extra doses.
So I haven’t decided if I’m going to commit to a specific reading challenge next year, or just read for pleasure. I am currently leaning toward reading for pleasure, as I have a lot of books at home that feel neglected as well as a ridiculously long TBR list (curated according to my favorite genres). I may just decide that comfort reading is my focus next year:
Cozy mysteries (or mysteries in general)
Books about books (collecting them, reading them, writing them, solving mysteries near them, etc.)
Books about food (fiction, memoir, magical realism, cozy mystery set in a bakery – I love it all)
Romance (but only for characters I like. I will DNF a romance faster than anything if I think a jackass character is unworthy of the person the happy ending trope demands they end up with. I do not need this particular fiction to mirror real life, thanks.)
Also, I’d like to actually read all my book club books (not just the ones I actively discuss in person).
No matter what I decide to do, I know one thing will remain constant. Having a rich, lush reading life will continue to be one of my most treasured priorities.
One of my favorite parts of the day is coming home, taking off my shoes (and if I’m staying in for the whole evening, putting on pajamas or loungewear), and settling into my reading chair. I love days when I don’t have anything planned or I at least have a couple of hours to spare before I head out again. That means I get to take a reading break (or a small nap – reading chairs are good for that, too) before supper.
Small, cozy nooks are the easiest way I’ve found to add little pockets of lush to my life. While any nook is bound to become a reading nook for me, it doesn’t necessarily have to be. I like breakfast nooks. Music nooks. Puzzle nooks. I once had a friend who had a tea corner that consisted of a cupboard with a vast selection of tea, a kettle, and a small table and chairs, and she started every morning there with a strong cup of tea and a crossword.
When it comes to creating cozy reading nooks, I bow to the expert – Modern Mrs. Darcy. Let’s see how mine stacks up:
The right spot – Most of the year (except during Christmas when the tree is there), my chair sits in the corner of my living room next to the patio door. I love this space because, while I have a lamp behind the chair for extra light, on weekend mornings, just enough sunlight comes through the blinds to cast a soft glow on the pages.
The foundation – This blue chair was a hand-me-down from my sister. It’s the first place she heads when she comes over. It’s the perfect size for me. It is firm but comfortable, and it reclines for optimal napping if the mood should strike.
The comfort factor – Not only is the chair comfortable, but it’s also easily movable, as is everything around it. I have a small TV tray that acts as a side table, and there’s always a blanket nearby.
The textures – The only thing I don’t like about the chair is its texture. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it; it’s just not as soft or lush as I’d like. When I need more coziness, I compensate with a velvet pillow or soft knit blanket.
A pop of color – There are pops of color all over the apartment, and the area surrounding the reading nook is no exception. I have a red glass bowl on a nearby bookshelf, and the box where I keep my pens and note tabs is bright pink.
The storage – As with most of the apartment, bookshelves abound near the nook. I have a short one where I stack up the month’s TBR selections and a larger one that holds the TV on one shelf but mostly books on the others. Extra pillows are within reach under the coffee table.
Signs of life – “Lived in.” That’s a nice way to describe the state of my apartment. As I sit in my reading chair, typing this sentence, I can look to my left and see last night’s tea mug. To my right are the shoes I pushed off as I sank into the cushion. I think I shall adopt this description when I get overwhelmed by the mess. It has a perpetual lived-in feel.
What kind of nooks do you have where you live? What kind of nooks do you want to have?
I love design books, websites, and social media accounts. They’re so visually satisfying. Even if they don’t reflect my personal style, I love seeing what people do with their spaces (or the spaces of others who have paid for their services). For example, I could watch videos of Anna Page’s New York apartment for hours. It’s so soothing.
In my lush fantasies, I know exactly what I want in a home. When I’m daydream shopping for houses, the ones that stick out to me are those that have large, open kitchens, a nice backyard (swimming pool preferred but optional), a small additional kitchenette/wet bar (especially if there’s an upstairs), and an extravagant laundry room. I once saw a laundry room with an overstuffed chair and bookshelf in it, so now, of course, I need it.
For many, home is their social center. I’m not sure that’s the case with me. I prefer for my home to be a bit of a getaway from social activity most of the time. But even if I’m the only one who usually sees it, I still crave good design and order. I want nooks – for reading, napping, daydreaming, creating, snacking. I like ceramics and glass – bowls made by local artists for our annual Empty Bowls luncheon and makeshift flower vases in the form of white pitchers, wine or sake bottles, and Mason jars. I enjoy soft and luxurious fabrics. I adore art made by beloved friends. Kitschy items with nostalgic stories attached. Good lighting.
My main home design strategy, though, is to be surrounded by books. Decorating is just another term for acquiring more bookshelves. At one point, there was a meme going around with a home layout that was a small kitchen, a small bathroom, and the rest of the space was labeled “library.” It was meant as a joke, but I would definitely live there.
According to Meik Wiking (The Little Book of Hygge), every home should also have a hygge emergency kit. If I were to catalog mine, it would look something like this:
Unscented candles
Good chocolate
A robust selection of teas
A full wine rack
A shelf of cozy mysteries or foodie fiction/memoir or this month’s TBR selections next to my favorite reading chair.
Comfort TV or movies (my frequent go-tos are Pushing Daisies, The Good Place, Gilmore Girls, Chocolat, and Under the Tuscan Sun)
Good bread with Irish butter, goat cheese, and/or homemade jam
Warm socks and blankets
Journal
Soothing playlist or records
Just reading that list makes me want to cancel everything for a week and stay home.
I’ll finish up tonight’s post with a few books about design or making a cozy home that I’ve either enjoyed or are on my design TBR list:
It seems that a lush life would involve travel to some extent. I’m pretty much a homebody, but I do like to get away occasionally. I’m not a packed itinerary, see-all-the-sights person (on account-a I believe vacation should be a change from my usual pace, not just the same busyness in a new location), but if I’m at a place for a week or more, a couple of main attractions are nice.
My favorite trip to date was the week I spent with a few friends in Cape Cod. We rented a cottage and cooked most of our meals. In the morning, we woke leisurely. Those of us who got up earlier had coffee and some sort of pastry, usually from dessert the night before, while we read or journaled or stared at the trees. Later in the morning, once all of us were up, we had brunch together and discussed what we would do that afternoon. We spent an afternoon at the beach where I read Like Water for Chocolate in one sitting. We had tea in Sandwich, and drove up to Provincetown one afternoon. In the evenings, we made or went out for supper and had many wines (observe a selection of the week’s corks above). Sometimes other friends joined us; sometimes it was just the three of us. It was perfect.
A proper vacation for me is something super laidback. If there is a schedule involved or activities for which one could be considered on time or late, I’m probably not interested. I want to eat delicious food, drink copious amounts of adult beverages, and have coffee at irresponsible times of the day. I am hardly ever spontaneous at any other time, but on vacation, it’s a requirement.
Of course, vacations also require money, so I don’t take them that often. When I do, it’s usually somewhere in the U.S., and I typically drive. Sometimes the vacation portion is only a part of the trip because the main reason I’m going is for a retreat or conference. I do have a running list of places outside the U.S. I’d most like to see:
Italy
Lisbon
Denmark
New Zealand
Argentina
Nepal
Perhaps someday.
But that doesn’t mean life can’t be lush with smaller trips. I like day trips to bookstores that aren’t necessarily local but are within reasonable driving distance. Discovering new bookstores and coffee shops is one of the reasons I’m fond of road trips. I also enjoy visiting friends and family, and I want to find time (and funding) to make these trips more often.
Once I started exploring what it means to have a lush life, the word cozy kept coming up. And the more I started searching for cozy things, the more I kept running into posts and books about hygge. For those unfamiliar with the term (and clearly not on Pinterest, because it is all over Pinterest), hygge is a Danish concept that takes cozy to the next level. In addition to embracing comfort, it also includes elements of warmth, well-being, and connection.
I’m way down the hygge rabbit hole, so it’s likely to come up a few times this month. If you want a quick and charming crash course, I recommend The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking. Today, I’m giving you a brief overview of the five dimensions of hygge he outlines, which are essentially ways you can experience the phenomenon through your senses. Everyone’s preferences are going to be different, but I’ve included examples of mine. This is a particularly useful exercise for me, as I am easily overwhelmed by sensory input. It’s good to intentionally make note of the ones I enjoy.
Taste
Food is a big part of comfort, and the Danes know this. They have a whole pastry named after their nationality (which I really need to try in Denmark, I think. You know, to get the full experience.). When I think of cozy food, things that are familiar and satisfying come to mind:
Soups with a side of crusty bread
Eggs and toast
Oatmeal with dried fruit and maple syrup
Stir fry/warm salads
Peaches, nectarines, and apricots (really any fresh fruit, but those are my faves)
Antipasti – any combination of cheese, bread/crackers, pickles/olives, maybe salami or fruit
Burgers
Potatoes in any form. Particularly if there is also cheese involved.
There are also specific flavors that fit in this category for me. I love coconut and caramel and peppermint (not all together, though). And of course, a nice cup of coffee or hot tea increases the cozy factor of any activity.
Sound
I love rainy day sounds. Not just the rain but the things I like to do inside when there’s a storm outside. The tink of knitting needles. Soft instrumental music, particularly piano and/or acoustic base. Pages turning as I read. The washer and dryer running. Small sipping sounds as I try to drink my cup of tea before it’s cool enough to do so (this is the only eating/drinking sound I like at all, btw. All the rest are gross and upsetting. This is a hill I am prepared to die on.).
One of the reasons I find coffee shops so comforting is the combination of sounds coming from behind the counter. Kettles boiling. The clinks and clunks of the espresso machine. Coffee dripping and pouring. It’s very much what I imagine Heaven must sound like.
Also…when cats ekekekekek. That’s some good ASMR right there.
Smell
Coffee. Vanilla and butter. Citrus. Tomato or pea plants. Fresh bread. Food smells, basically, are my favorites.
The other scents I think of as comforting are those that remind me of a particular time, place, or event. For example, the very specific smell that hits me when I open up Mom’s Christmas cabinet where she stores all her decorations. It’s sort of like an apple/cinnamon smell but not quite.
Touch
One of the first things I did after I chose the word lush for my theme this year was to buy new bed linens. There was nothing wrong with the ones I had, but they were getting a little worn and scratchy. [So, I guess there was something wrong with them. I just feel wasteful if I get rid of something before it’s absolutely unusable (no worries – they have been refurbished into decorations/costumes).] I love flannel sheets, and I use them all year long. I also bought a comforter that is slightly weighted (not too much! Most weighted blankets are too much!), which helps me fall asleep. I like drinking out of glass or ceramic receptacles. I will drink out of metal or plastic or paper cups, but it’s just not the same.
I think I’ve gotten to the point where I absolutely refuse to wear hard pants. Jeans, slacks, anything that you have to button/zip? Not interested. I don’t even know that I own any such thing anymore. My daily attire is all dresses and skirts with either shorts or leggings. Comfy shoes that are designed for long hours roaming bookstores. Sweaters and other layers just in case the temperature suddenly changes because Texas. Bookcore for life.
Sight
I’m going to go into this more when I talk about having a cozy home later in the month, so I won’t dwell now, but muted lighting (I’m in the market for lamps), candles, and twinkle lights are my jam. I love dark, rich colors (and yes, classically eccentric is a good name for my preferred decorating style). In pictures or movie scenes or art, I prefer slow-moving ease to bustle. I favor open sky and beaches over woods or forest. I need intentional blank space in decorating, too.
Almost every scenario I can think of that signifies the word lush has books in it somewhere. Either I’m sipping a coffee and reading a book or packing books to take with me on a trip or traveling specifically to one place just so that I can go to a particular bookstore. Or simply carrying a book around with me just in case I get a free moment to tuck into it. As detailed in last year’s 31 Days series, a life without the joy of reading is really no life at all to me.
Here’s what I am planning for my lush reading life to look like this month.
Book Clubs
I’m talking about books with a lot of people in October (I mean, even more than usual). This month’s list includes my usual 6-7 selections plus some extras because Martha Wells is going to be in town at Patchouli Joe’s mid-month, and also there’s a discussion group about one of last month’s (month before?) book club reads at the same bookshop the next night, so I want to finish it and the next 2-4 (they’re pretty short) in the Murderbot series. I’m also reading a book with our Neurodiversity Professional Network at work. Plus, two different book discussion groups through the public library (my usual one and then another new one that meets at local bars) are talking about psychological thrillers/mysteries this month, and I couldn’t decide which book I wanted to read, so I narrowed it down to two.
The list above is enough to keep me busy, but I’m still intent on finishing most of my reading challenge books this year (stay tuned for more about this later in the month), and there’s Dewey’s readathon coming up later this month, so I’m not daunted by a long reading list for October.
POPSUGAR – The way I decided which two thrillers to read for the library discussions was that they both meet certain prompts for this challenge. Strangers on a Train (sorta) meets the prompt of a train, plane, or cruise ship setting, and The Guest List features a party (i.e., a wedding).
Book Riot’s Read Harder – a horror novel by a BIPOC author – The Good House by Tananarive Due, and those from last month that I haven’t quite finished yet.
The 52 Book Club – Finally finishing up the book that’s been on my TBR the longest – The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I’m also getting really close to finishing this particular challenge, so that’s exciting.
Just Because
I got excited about these and can’t wait to read them…so I’m not gonna.
Near the beginning of the year, I checked out a book at the library on someone’s recommendation. It was called Forget Prayers, Bring Cake: A Single Woman’s Guide to Grieving. I kept taking it back and checking it out again rather than just reading it. I was skeptical for three reasons:
Cutesy (almost flippant?) title for a discussion on grief? I get that people cope in different ways, but that’s…not mine.
Singling out singles is a necessary point of this discussion, and I can confirm that there are challenges with grief that are specific to not having a partner, but gendering it rubs me the wrong way.
The cover design is absurd (click the link above if you’re curious). You’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but we all do it, and I judged this one HARD.
I’m so glad I finally read it.
This is the best book I’ve read on the practicalities of dealing with grief and building a support system specifically for the process. It’s the perfect combination of memoir, guide, and comfort. As someone who incorporates tasks into emotional processing (i.e., simply talking or crying it out without a physical energy release often makes the situation worse for me), I appreciate the checklists and suggestions.
As my parents are getting older, we are having more conversations about what they want to happen, how we take over the farm as seamlessly as possible, and how it all gets paid for. Just having the conversations are emotional, and it’s helpful to acknowledge and process those feelings as they come, but it feels weird to future-grieve. This book gave me the validation and permission I didn’t know I needed, and Gerson’s kind-but-direct approach gave it to me in exactly the way I needed it.
I know I usually list five books that I enjoyed from the previous month, but this one stood out so far beyond the rest. This may be my favorite book I’ve read thus far this year.
M. Suzanne Terry 