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Archive for September, 2014

Dissonance is a clash.

Dissonance is the what-should-be bucking against the what-is.

Dissonance is both sobering and stirring up.

Dissonance seems to be a way of life for me. I have two pictures – the life I want, and the life I have – and they are often in discord with one another. The former crashes into the latter, like waves pounding the sand and slowly, steadily changing the shoreline.

I have learned to sit in the dissonance of this existence. I have also learned that sitting in it is not the complacency I once thought it was.  It’s honesty. It’s listening. It’s inspiring.

Sometimes, it sounds like chaos.

Mostly, it sounds like dancing.

I’m linking up with Marvia Davidson’s Real Talk Tuesday.  Join us?

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(Originally posted via Story Sessions)

Every week, Marvia Davidson gives us the chance to participate in Real Talk Tuesday, a synchroblog that explores writing our hard truths. So today, she’s answering my questions about it.

1. Give us the back story – where did you get the idea for Real Talk Tuesday?

I didn’t intend to start Real Talk Tuesday.  It was one of those things that just happened (though I think something like it was always rumbling around in my heart).  It was an offshoot of where I wanted to take my own writing, but I wanted to do it in community.  A few months ago I took part of a healing support group called Mending the Soul.  It’s changed my life, my perspective, and how I see authenticity and living out truth.  It was all about dealing with hard truths about one’s self and its impact on how we relate to people and issues in our lives.  It’s more than that, but that’s the impetus toward healing and restoration. You gotta talk about hard things.  You gotta work through all the junk that keeps you bound or that keeps you from not fully living and being your whole, God-made self.  If we’re really going to live out true and authentic lives, then we’ve got to wrestle with the depth and width of our pain.  Feel the feels, use our voice, say what we need, find safe people with whom we can fully be ourselves, know our power and authority, and not shrink back from the process of being real and whole all the time in every place.

2. You have great prompts that seem to resonate with a lot of people.  How do you come up with them?

Hmmm.  That’s a great question!  I do a lot of quiet pondering.  Many times they come between pauses, between breaths, when I’m not doing something or busying about life.  They come in wisps while walking in the evenings.  They come while staring at the moon.  They come while considering music, words, movies, and lyrics that resonate.  I sometimes wonder if these little phrases are pockets of holy hush meant to bring me back to the One – as though to remind me Whose I am and why I’m here.  Perhaps the resonance is a pull to Someone Greater…

3. In your invitation this week, you say, “As always may our words be seasoned with salt and grace.  May our words empower, encourage, and equip.” I love that. Why is this important to remember?

When I first started my blog, I only knew I wanted to write about life, faith, and leaning in when it gets hard.  It was never my intention to be any part of the hullabaloo that is the sometimes craziness of the blogosphere.  That just doesn’t jive with me.  When I think of legacy, I think of what I want to leave behind. I want to leave words that remind people to look up, look out, look within.  I want to leave words that remind men and women they matter.  You can’t do that when you’re mudslinging, disparaging, and berating.  That’s just not me.  Even though my blog is seen by few, what matters is that it be a place of grace.  I want my little corner of the internet to be a place of reprieve.

4. You are a champion of honoring voices.  What does that mean to you?

Mmmmm.  It may be life experience and what I’ve walked through, but there is something internally powerful about being seen and being heard by human flesh.  To hear another soul listen, look you in the eye, and offer not judgment is freeing.  I really first learned about this when I joined a recovery group in 2011.  It was a life changing experience.  I had a lot of hurts, habits, and hang ups that I felt very ashamed about.  The recovery community was a place of total acceptance.  No one was trying to fix me.  They allowed me to just be.  They showed me tools to help me – and they really did help me (that and leaning hard into faith in God).  To honor a voice is to welcome others and be a dignity restorer.  Jesus did that a lot, and I want to practice the same in my life.

5. Your new website is gorgeous.  What advice can you give to people wanting to branch out into hosting their own sites?

Ha! Ha!  For reals, though.  I just launched it.  I had no idea what I was doing, and to an extent still don’t, but I knew it needed to be done because it was just time.  It’s a work in progress like me.  I’m okay with that.  I have an idea of where I want it to go, but I can’t do it alone.  I am so inspired by the many women I see blossoming in the Story Sessions community.  They keep me going!  For those branching out, I’d say ask for help.  Ask lots of questions.  Trust your “style” gut.  I read a several blogs like Jeff Goins and Michael Hyatt, and they were so helpful.  I can’t wait to get to do more with the blog.

6. What other projects are you working on?  What are you excited about?

I wrapped up writing a second memoir about tearing down lies, faith, and restoration.  My next step is editing, book cover design, and getting feedback from beta readers.  This is all new for me, and I’m excited about the project.  I hope to release it in December of 2014.  I am also excited to dive deeper into what it means to be a creative entrepreneur.  I have #alltheideas that won’t quit, and I want to do something with the ones that speak to my why and my what.  It’s never too late to work the dream, so I’m going after.  The rest… well, follow my blog or the Real Talk newsletter to find out more.

Marvia

Marvia enjoys sharing the journey of life and living fully.  She’s a Christ follower learning to just “be.”  While her life may not be perfect, she is on the road to “be”-ing and authenticity in Christ.  Her desire is to share love, light, hope, words, thoughts, dreams, faith, and whatever else seems good and prudent.  She is drawn to encouraging, supporting, mentoring, and helping others.  You will find her walking the rockity-bumpity journey of life in the wide open spaces of Texas, sipping tea, drinking coffee, splattered with sugary flour dust while baking with family, laughing and snorting loudly, or dancing ridiculously just because.

Join her on the blogging at humanimpulse.wordpress.com or follow her on Twitter @MarviaDavidson.

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Beauty is Hard

I find it easy to see beauty in the natural world.  For example, the weather today, while not beautiful by some people’s standards, is gorgeous to me. It’s overcast, a little rainy, and best of all – the predicted high is 70 degrees. HAPPY.

I find it easy to see beauty in others. We had a division-wide breakfast this morning, and as is my custom, I enjoyed people-watching. In the sea of green (Friday is pride day!), I noticed the special touches people added to make themselves stand out from the crowd.

Crowds, however, are not my friend when it comes to feeling beautiful myself. Being in a crowd makes me feel awkward and unattractive. It’s not so much a comparison thing as it is a matter of logistics.

Crowded rooms are not a friend to the hot-natured. I live in the wrong state. I have never in my life walked anywhere without sweating at least a little, no matter how cold it is outside, but as long as the weather hovers near 65 and isn’t too humid, I can usually still arrive at my destination generally presentable (i.e., not completely soaked through). Unfortunately, the temperature doesn’t dip that low in Texas for the majority of the year. I dress in layers, not because less clothing actually does anything to make me more comfortable and less sweaty, but because that way, I can add a sweater or a dark jacket once I get to my location to camouflage the fact that underneath it all, I just look like I’ve run a marathon. Of course, the sweater or jacket then makes me sweat more for the few minutes that I spend acclimating to the cooler climate of the building, making my face red and the people around me nervous that they’re about to have a medical situation on their hands. I haven’t figured out how to make the transition in a less awkward way, because there usually isn’t time (or a place) to spend ten minutes cooling off. I’m just herded into the crowd (some of which I noticed were experiencing the same problems, so it’s not just me. I feel your pain, friends!).

Also, crowded rooms are not staged for the rotund. I seriously contemplated not going back for a second cup of coffee this morning in order to avoid weaving through the tight spaces between the tables. In the end, of course, I went back (because please – what in the world is EVER going to keep me from more coffee?), but the thought of navigating the room layout gave me pause. And my hesitation was not without merit.  I did indeed bump some elbows and have to squish a little too close to people WHOM I DO NOT KNOW (*deep breaths*) in order to simply make it across the room. And I can’t help but remember that I never gave this any thought when I sported a healthier weight. I mean, I’m sure I worried about other beauty-adjacent topics, but the immense amount of space I require just to get through the room was not one of them.

Sometimes, beauty is hard.

I’m going to continue my 31 Days of Personal Beauty, but it’s going to be more of a cumulative endeavor than a consecutive one. Apparently.

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